1. Previously on King of the Hill...Copy !req
2. You are in public with this little bimbo.Copy !req
3. I need you to protect me from Miz Liz.Copy !req
4. Well, you are having
an affair with her husband.Copy !req
5. I was having an affair with my boss.Copy !req
6. You're my boss now...Copy !req
7. - Hank.Copy !req
8. I'm not gonna let Peggy
find out about any of this.Copy !req
9. You know what? Debbie is history.Copy !req
10. Oh, my god. Debbie.Copy !req
11. I've got to stop her.Copy !req
12. Debbie!Copy !req
13. Somebody shot Debbie.Copy !req
14. How long does it take Debbie
to throw in a load of laundry?Copy !req
15. I really need to talk to her.Copy !req
16. She should be right up.Copy !req
17. Debbie said you were gonna... hey!Copy !req
18. No, we were not!Copy !req
19. It was a trick.Copy !req
20. Is 300 dollars too much for a Hot Wheels
VW purple Evil Weevil?Copy !req
21. - Yeah, I could use one, too.Copy !req
22. Damn, the eBay auction closed.
I lost my Weevil.Copy !req
23. Oh, dang it. Can I get a light off yours?Copy !req
24. Huh, that's a funny-looking cigarette.Copy !req
25. You roll it yourself?Copy !req
26. Yeah.Copy !req
27. You got a weak flame on this thing.Copy !req
28. This isn't one of them clove cigarettes,
is it?Copy !req
29. No, man. That's the chronic from Mexico.Copy !req
30. Ah, damn NAFTA.Copy !req
31. It's clearly an inferior tobacco.Copy !req
32. - So, does your wife party, too?
- "Party"?Copy !req
33. Uh, we throw a party for Fourth of July
and Labor Day.Copy !req
34. No, I mean party.
You know, get high, get stoned?Copy !req
35. Mm-mm, that barbecue
smells yummy, Ms. Hill.Copy !req
36. Now, you heard the gunshot
at 6:45, was it?Copy !req
37. That is correct, Sheriff, mm-hmm.Copy !req
38. And you discovered the body at 6:47?Copy !req
39. Most of it, yes.Copy !req
40. So let me get this straight.Copy !req
41. Debbie was Mr. Strickland's mistress.Copy !req
42. And her murdered body was found
at the same placeCopy !req
43. where Mr. Strickland
and his wife just got doneCopy !req
44. reconciling their differences?Copy !req
45. Uh-huh. My husband, Hank, set that up.Copy !req
46. Well, the reconciliation,
not, not the murder.Copy !req
47. Mmm.Copy !req
48. Check you out. What are you doing?Copy !req
49. I am inducing vomiting.Copy !req
50. Dude, you only had one hit.Copy !req
51. Oh, no, my eyes are turning bloodshot.Copy !req
52. I'm going on a trip.Copy !req
53. I look like I'm doped out of my gourd!Copy !req
54. God, I'm too high to drive.Copy !req
55. Got to sleep this off.Copy !req
56. Found this Italian 12-gauge
under the body.Copy !req
57. "Miz Liz."Copy !req
58. I think I got my first suspect.Copy !req
59. I could send that up to Dallas,
have my boys run it for prints.Copy !req
60. Aw, who in the hell
called in the Texas Rangers?Copy !req
61. A "Mrs. Peggy Hill, restaurateur."Copy !req
62. I love your show! I love that Walker!Copy !req
63. How long was I sleeping?Copy !req
64. Why... why am I running?Copy !req
65. Oh, God, I'm talking to myself.Copy !req
66. That's a side effect
of the marijuana poisoning.Copy !req
67. Dad! Dad!Copy !req
68. The police are looking for you!Copy !req
69. Oh, no, Debbie's hippie roommateCopy !req
70. turned me in for smoking narcotics.Copy !req
71. Hank!Copy !req
72. Debbie's dead?Copy !req
73. I was just in her...
I mean, I just talked to her, uh, at work.Copy !req
74. Oh, it was awful.Copy !req
75. I saw her lying there and... oh, Hank.Copy !req
76. Honey, you reek.Copy !req
77. Oh, uh, yeah, too much time
near the propane tanks today.Copy !req
78. - Mr. Hill,Copy !req
79. I'm Lester Payton with the Texas Rangers.Copy !req
80. Uh, nice to meet you.Copy !req
81. Mind if I cut in, Payton?
This is my dance.Copy !req
82. Now, Mr. Hill, I have some questions.Copy !req
83. Uh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
84. I lost a close friend
and a valued tank wipe today.Copy !req
85. I got to go home right now.Copy !req
86. Peggy, you'll need to drive.Copy !req
87. I'm in mourning.Copy !req
88. That coroner in Heimlich County
will get to the bottom of this.Copy !req
89. He's a good man.Copy !req
90. He did the autopsies on two
of my gun club buddies last year.Copy !req
91. You, uh, you don't thinkCopy !req
92. the police will want to run a drug test
on Debbie's co-workers, do you?Copy !req
93. Now that you mention it,
I am positive they will.Copy !req
94. They'll drug-test everyone in Arlen.Copy !req
95. The price for a bag
of clean urine will double.Copy !req
96. What do you think will happen
to the price of poo-poo?Copy !req
97. Unchanged.Copy !req
98. Debbie bought those flowers
just before she died.Copy !req
99. Attention, everybody.Copy !req
100. Now that there's no one left at work
for my husband to diddle,Copy !req
101. I've allowed him to return.Copy !req
102. Buck Strickland.Copy !req
103. Uh, thank you.Copy !req
104. Now, I ain't a stupid man.
I heard the rumors.Copy !req
105. I know that I got some fingers
a-pointin' at me.Copy !req
106. But I'm giving y'all
the Buck Strickland guaranteeCopy !req
107. that I didn't kill that pretty girl.Copy !req
108. I want to catch the murderer
more than anything.Copy !req
109. So, if any of you have information
for the police,Copy !req
110. why don't you just come see me firstCopy !req
111. and we can discuss the best way
of handling that.Copy !req
112. Back to work, ol' top.Copy !req
113. All right, LadybirdCopy !req
114. I washed this shirt a dozen times.Copy !req
115. What do you think, girl?Copy !req
116. Can you still smell the Mary Jane?Copy !req
117. - Oh, no.Copy !req
118. Uncle Hank, Sheriff Mumford is here.Copy !req
119. Afternoon, Hank. What ya cookin'?Copy !req
120. Uh, nothing.Copy !req
121. Well, my eyesight ain't what it used to beCopy !req
122. but ain't that some kind
of smoke coming out of there?Copy !req
123. Um, that's the burgers.Copy !req
124. Strange-smelling burgers.Copy !req
125. What kind of herbs you putting in there?Copy !req
126. "Herbs"?Copy !req
127. Oh, God, that's street talk
for "marijuana."Copy !req
128. You know, Hank,
I spent the day gathering evidenceCopy !req
129. over at the Casa Linda
Singles Apartments...Copy !req
130. And, well, I just thought
you might want to knowCopy !req
131. - you are now a suspect...
- Oh, no!Copy !req
132. in the murder of Debbie Grund.Copy !req
133. Oh. Oh, that.Copy !req
134. Oh, God!Copy !req
135. Now, this goes without saying,
Peggy, but you know I'm not guilty.Copy !req
136. Of course I know you didn't kill anyone.Copy !req
137. But you know what I do not understand?Copy !req
138. The sheriff said that you had a motiveCopy !req
139. and it concerned
your relationship with Miz Liz.Copy !req
140. He kept using that phrase...Copy !req
141. "relationship with Miz Liz."Copy !req
142. "Relationship with Miz Liz."Copy !req
143. Uh, well, he may be referring
to this time I, uh...Copy !req
144. went out to a fraudulent propane emergency
at Mrs. Strickland'sCopy !req
145. and, uh, well, she was in a kimonoCopy !req
146. and, uh, she wanted me to, uh,
service her...Copy !req
147. accessories.Copy !req
148. Not the propane.Copy !req
149. Oh. Okey-dokey.Copy !req
150. Well, now, that makes some sense.Copy !req
151. Mrs. Strickland was coming on to youCopy !req
152. so you killed Debbie,
Buck goes back to Miz LizCopy !req
153. and Miz Liz stops bothering you.Copy !req
154. Have you been reading
those Rabbi mysteries again?Copy !req
155. They do hold up.Copy !req
156. Now, if I may be an advocate
of the devil here,Copy !req
157. let's combine your motive with the fact
that you have no alibi for 6:45 p.m.Copy !req
158. Oh, and the sheriff called earlier.Copy !req
159. He said that they found
your Strickland name patchCopy !req
160. in the bushes behind Peggy's Sugarfoot's.Copy !req
161. What? I don't remember losing
my "Hank" patch.Copy !req
162. Well, you didn't lose it.Copy !req
163. He said it had been torn off
as if in a struggle.Copy !req
164. Oh!Copy !req
165. So, Hank my question to you is...Copy !req
166. why did you not tell me
that Miz Liz made a pass at you?Copy !req
167. So, I was wondering if kids
who are hopped up on drugsCopy !req
168. could do things they wouldn't rememberCopy !req
169. when they, you know, hopped back down.Copy !req
170. Absolutely, Mr. Jones.Copy !req
171. So, my son... who will be attending
Arlen High in a couple of years,Copy !req
172. God willing,Copy !req
173. he could get, uh, bakedCopy !req
174. and leave his name tag in some bushes
somewhere and then not remember?Copy !req
175. Yeah, yeah. We call that blacking out.Copy !req
176. Heck, I was in prison with a guy
who was doing life for a murderCopy !req
177. he didn't even remember committing. Okay?Copy !req
178. So someone could take dope,
black out in a field and kill a co-worker?Copy !req
179. Co-worker, cab driver, prostitute.Copy !req
180. It doesn't matter who.Copy !req
181. All right.Copy !req
182. This is about what Debbie weighed.Copy !req
183. Does this seem familiar?Copy !req
184. - Maybe.Copy !req
185. Evening, Hank.Copy !req
186. Whatcha busyin' yourself with there?Copy !req
187. Uh, just throwing out some expired sand.Copy !req
188. Garbage cans at home are full.Copy !req
189. Whatever. We need to talk.Copy !req
190. Let's take a ride. Your truck.Copy !req
191. - Uh, where to, sir?
- The quarry.Copy !req
192. It's deserted this time of night.Copy !req
193. Nobody'll bother us.Copy !req
194. Mr. Strickland, sir...Copy !req
195. I want you to know that I don't think
I killed Debbie.Copy !req
196. I cared for that gal, Hank.Copy !req
197. So if you've taken me out here
to kill me in retribution,Copy !req
198. I believe that would be premature.Copy !req
199. I know you fooled around with Debbie,
ol' top.Copy !req
200. No, not true. I rebuffed.Copy !req
201. But you were angry at her.Copy !req
202. - Yes.
- Louder.Copy !req
203. Yes, I was angry.Copy !req
204. Debbie threatened to tell my wife
that we had sexual relations.Copy !req
205. Okay, Hank. I got all I need.Copy !req
206. A 12-gauge shell.Copy !req
207. Oh, my God.Copy !req
208. I want you to promise me
you won't ever do drugs, Bobby.Copy !req
209. I promise.Copy !req
210. A promise means nothing when a junkie
tricks you into smoking a jointCopy !req
211. when you think it's a cigarette
which you shouldn't smoke either.Copy !req
212. Now, promise me. Promise me, Bobby.Copy !req
213. Okay, okay, I promise.Copy !req
214. Promises mean nothing.Copy !req
215. Look, DadCopy !req
216. I'm not going to use drugs
because drugs are for losers.Copy !req
217. And I'd never want to disappoint you.Copy !req
218. Oh...Copy !req
219. Plus, I want to be the first chubby
comic to live past 35.Copy !req
220. - Afternoon, Hank.
- Oh, hi, Sheriff.Copy !req
221. Ah, any leads on the, uh, murderer
that don't point in my direction?Copy !req
222. Mrs. Hill, could you excuse us a moment?Copy !req
223. I'd like to tell your husband
a dirty joke.Copy !req
224. Sheriff,
if this is about the investigationCopy !req
225. I assure you, you can speak freely.Copy !req
226. My husband and I have no secrets
between us.Copy !req
227. Cigarette?Copy !req
228. Oh, no, we do not smoke.Copy !req
229. That's smart. Filthy habit.Copy !req
230. Say, could I trouble you for a light?Copy !req
231. Uh, I could look in the house.Copy !req
232. Oh, never mind.
I got this here silver lighter.Copy !req
233. Found it in Debbie's apartment.Copy !req
234. Got the initials H-R-H on it.Copy !req
235. Say now, what's your middle name?Copy !req
236. Rutherford.Copy !req
237. Right. H-R-H.Copy !req
238. So, unless His Royal Highness
the Prince of WalesCopy !req
239. stopped by Sunday night for a smoke...Copy !req
240. Okay, the lighter's mine.Copy !req
241. It was a gift
from Mrs. Elizabeth Strickland.Copy !req
242. I, I know all about Miz Liz.Copy !req
243. As I said,Copy !req
244. I know everything about my husband.Copy !req
245. So you know about your husband's
relationship with Debbie.Copy !req
246. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. What relationship?Copy !req
247. - I had no relationship with Debbie.
- Sheriff?Copy !req
248. Uh-huh.Copy !req
249. If I may.Copy !req
250. Debbie threatened to tell my wifeCopy !req
251. that we had sexual relations.Copy !req
252. Well, I'm sure you folks
have plenty to talk about.Copy !req
253. Y'all have a nice day.Copy !req
254. I didn't sleep with Debbie.Copy !req
255. I don't know how my lighter
got into her apartment.Copy !req
256. And I already told you about being
in the bathtub with a naked Miz Liz.Copy !req
257. Did you see her breasts?Copy !req
258. Hey, Charlie Manson!Copy !req
259. Can I get your autographCopy !req
260. on this Sugarfoot napkin
I pull out of dumpster?Copy !req
261. If you murderer, I auction it
on eBay for big bucks.Copy !req
262. eBay?Copy !req
263. Wait a minute...Copy !req
264. Damn, the eBay auction closed.Copy !req
265. I lost my Weevil.Copy !req
266. Ah... Ah, ah, ah...Copy !req
267. Kahn, you may have just made
my autograph worthless.Copy !req
268. The auction for that purple
weeble wobbler.Copy !req
269. - What time did it close?
- 6:58 p.m.Copy !req
270. Oh, you want to go in a chat room
with Gene Roddenberry's wife?Copy !req
271. - Listen to me.Copy !req
272. Debbie was killed at 6:45.Copy !req
273. I didn't inhale
until 7:00 at the earliest.Copy !req
274. I couldn't have blacked out
and killed her. She was already dead.Copy !req
275. Yeah, dude, you were here
smoking pot with me.Copy !req
276. You can tell that to the cops.Copy !req
277. I'll back you up.Copy !req
278. Leaving the Get In,
Get Out so soon, Payton?Copy !req
279. I'm sure there are some candy bars
you haven't questioned.Copy !req
280. You better take them Three Musketeers
into separate rooms.Copy !req
281. Maybe one of them will crack.Copy !req
282. That's a good one, Sheriff.Copy !req
283. How'd "Hee Haw" ever let you get away?Copy !req
284. Mm-mm.Copy !req
285. Do I smell Peggy Hill's
old-fashioned buttermilk griddle cakes?Copy !req
286. Sheriff, now I'm sure you
did not come all this way just to smellCopy !req
287. Peggy Hill's old-fashioned
buttermilk griddle cakes.Copy !req
288. Guilty.Copy !req
289. Speaking of which, Mr. HillCopy !req
290. Debbie's roommate, Gale,Copy !req
291. has got an interesting alibi
for the night of the murder.Copy !req
292. Says he was with you, sparking up a J.Copy !req
293. In English, please.Copy !req
294. Lighting up a J.Copy !req
295. Getting high? He said that?Copy !req
296. Well, now you have
a second crime to investigate, Sheriff.Copy !req
297. The attempted assassination
of my husband's character.Copy !req
298. How dare you!Copy !req
299. My dad would never use drugs.Copy !req
300. I said, good day, Sheriff!Copy !req
301. Mr. Hill?Copy !req
302. Uh, the boy is right.Copy !req
303. I would never smoke pot.Copy !req
304. Yeah, yeah.
You're as square as a block of wood.Copy !req
305. But this Gale feller, he's from up north.Copy !req
306. Hair down to his butt crack and a layer
of filth that just don't wash off.Copy !req
307. Now that I've talked to you,
I know that he's just a liarCopy !req
308. who's got no alibi.Copy !req
309. They're arresting the murderer on TV!Copy !req
310. It's a woman.Copy !req
311. - Who is it?
- A woman?Copy !req
312. - Another arrest...
- That's not a woman.Copy !req
313. - That's Debbie's roommate.
- Nuh-uh. Her name is Gale.Copy !req
314. I've never had a homicide
go unsolved in Heimlich CountyCopy !req
315. and my record stands intact.Copy !req
316. Two for two.Copy !req
317. But Gale couldn't have done it.Copy !req
318. He, he was...Copy !req
319. He was what, Dad?Copy !req
320. Uh, nothing.Copy !req
321. Come on. Show Peggy's Sugarfoot's
in the background.Copy !req
322. Show Peggy's Sugarfoot's
in the background.Copy !req
323. Show Peggy's Sugarfoot's... Yes!Copy !req
324. You know, uh,
I'm not so sure this, uh... Gale, is it?Copy !req
325. I'm just not so sure he's the right guy
who did the murder.Copy !req
326. Well, now you're just talking crazy, Hank.Copy !req
327. The sheriff arrested him.
That means he's guilty.Copy !req
328. - Bill's right.
- I should know.Copy !req
329. I've served on four juries
and we did our job... four convictions.Copy !req
330. It is not your job as a juror
to just convict.Copy !req
331. Is, too.Copy !req
332. I just want to say thanks
to Buck StricklandCopy !req
333. for throwing this case-closed dinner.Copy !req
334. Oh, the party's also a send-off
to our good friendCopy !req
335. Texas Ranger Payton, who was...Copy !req
336. unable to solve the crime.Copy !req
337. I hope Gale doesn't get off
on some pothead technicality, right, Dad?Copy !req
338. Well, those technicalities
have a name, Bobby.Copy !req
339. They're called the Bill of Rights.Copy !req
340. Oh, he's got a right.Copy !req
341. He's got a right arm
for them to stick the needle in.Copy !req
342. - That'll be sweet.Copy !req
343. All right. All right, that's enough.Copy !req
344. Gale did not kill Debbie.Copy !req
345. That's right. He's innocent...Copy !req
346. And I know that because at the time
of the murder Gale was with me.Copy !req
347. We were in Debbie's apartment...Copy !req
348. And like he said...Copy !req
349. we were smoking pot.Copy !req
350. Who are you, Hank Hill?Copy !req
351. Now, now, it was an accident.Copy !req
352. I didn't know it was pot
and God knows I didn't enjoy it.Copy !req
353. But the fact remains, Sheriff,
you have the wrong man in your jail.Copy !req
354. - Then, it was Buck.
- Nuh-uh, it wasn't me.Copy !req
355. It-it was Hank.
Di-di-didn't you get the tape?Copy !req
356. What about that, uh,
"Hank" name tag I put in the bushes?Copy !req
357. It wasn't Hank, it was you.Copy !req
358. - Nah, it wasn't.
- Then, it was Miz Liz.Copy !req
359. - Nah, it wasn't.Copy !req
360. All right, fine, it was me.Copy !req
361. - I'm your man, Sheriff.
- You got the right to remain silent...Copy !req
362. If you people are just about finished...Copy !req
363. I'll tell you who killed Debbie.Copy !req
364. Debbie's phone records show
she called Mr. Hank HillCopy !req
365. a short while before her deathCopy !req
366. which means she was home at 6:00 p.m.
Now, what would she have seenCopy !req
367. if she looked out her window
at 6:00 p.m., hmm?Copy !req
368. Normally, she'd see Sheriff MumfordCopy !req
369. stuffing some Sugarfoot's ribs
into his face.Copy !req
370. But on this night,Copy !req
371. she saw Mr. Buck and Miz Liz Strickland
entering the restaurant,Copy !req
372. which, according to the Sugarfoot's
reservations book occurred at...Copy !req
373. 6:03 mister, and 6:04 missus.Copy !req
374. Seeing Buck and Miz Liz back togetherCopy !req
375. must've thrown that pretty little
tank wipe into a jealous rage.Copy !req
376. So when she went down to Sugarfoot's...Copy !req
377. Ah... Peggy's Sugarfoot's.Copy !req
378. At the time, it was.Copy !req
379. Yeah...Copy !req
380. The point is,Copy !req
381. she went there to kill Buck Strickland
with the 12-gauge shotgunCopy !req
382. he had stashed in her apartment.Copy !req
383. So she climbed into the dumpster
next to his Cadillac to lie in wait.Copy !req
384. Now, sitting in a dumpster
full of half-eaten barbecueCopy !req
385. can make you hungry...Copy !req
386. and, sure enough,
Debbie went across the street, to...Copy !req
387. the Get In, Get Out.Copy !req
388. According to the store's
security videotapeCopy !req
389. and a written deposition
from a Mr. Freddy Hakimi,Copy !req
390. she purchased a Big Gulp
and a 99-cent nacho plate.Copy !req
391. By buying them together,
she saved 23 cents.Copy !req
392. My God!Copy !req
393. That is one heck of a deal.Copy !req
394. When Debbie returned to the dumpster,Copy !req
395. she saw Mr. Strickland's car
and assumed he was still there.Copy !req
396. What she didn't knowCopy !req
397. was that the Stricklands had already
left together in Mrs. Strickland's carCopy !req
398. having reconciled
physically in a storeroom.Copy !req
399. And again in the meat locker.Copy !req
400. And, once more, in the slop sink.Copy !req
401. She had difficulty juggling
the three itemsCopy !req
402. as she attempted to negotiate
her way back into the dumpster.Copy !req
403. - She put the gun in first.Copy !req
404. She wouldn't let go of that junk foodCopy !req
405. and that was the source of her demise,Copy !req
406. for as Debbie climbed into that dumpsterCopy !req
407. her foot accidentally tripped
the hammer on the gun.Copy !req
408. So, Debbie grund's killer
was Debbie Grund.Copy !req
409. Oh, Buck, I'm so relieved.Copy !req
410. Why, I thought it was you.Copy !req
411. Yeah, and I would have, too, Miz Liz.Copy !req
412. Yeah, I'd have done it for you.
'Course, I thought you did it.Copy !req
413. That's why I planted the shotgun shell
in Hank's truck...Copy !req
414. to protect you.Copy !req
415. You planted evidence... for me?Copy !req
416. - Yeah.
- Aw... Sugarfoot.Copy !req
417. Oh, Sweets.Copy !req
418. Sorry about that whole frame-up,
there, tonto.Copy !req
419. I was under a lot of stress.Copy !req
420. Uh, yeah...Copy !req
421. Yeah, okay, uh...Copy !req
422. I guess if...
my mistress had been murderedCopy !req
423. and my wife were a suspect... Uh, yeah.Copy !req
424. Well, I guess I let you down, Son,Copy !req
425. doing drugs like that
when I've always told you not to.Copy !req
426. You know, if I did something like this
you'd punish me.Copy !req
427. Maybe I should be able to punish you.Copy !req
428. Well, okay, Son.Copy !req
429. What's my punishment? Am I grounded?Copy !req
430. That's too easy.Copy !req
431. You cannot mow the lawn for one week.Copy !req
432. Aw, come on, Son,
it was an accident.Copy !req
433. You want to go for two?Copy !req
434. I said, good day, Sheriff!Copy !req