1. Previously on King of the Hill...Copy !req
2. Go!Copy !req
3. You wanna jump or not?Copy !req
4. You've got my check. What do you care?Copy !req
5. I know where the Arlen Hospital is.Copy !req
6. Can you hold it in?Copy !req
7. Oh!Copy !req
8. Peggy, it's amazing!Copy !req
9. You've got to do it.Copy !req
10. Uncle Hank,
Didi's havin' the baby right now!Copy !req
11. Wait.Copy !req
12. Pull the cord!Copy !req
13. Your emergency cord!Copy !req
14. Hey!Copy !req
15. Peggy?Copy !req
16. Peggy!Copy !req
17. Oh, uh...Copy !req
18. I... I think my wife,
I... I think, might be dead.Copy !req
19. I'll be right back.Copy !req
20. Peggy!Copy !req
21. Dang it, Didi! Push!Copy !req
22. It's okay, son. The baby's here.Copy !req
23. He's beautiful.Copy !req
24. What's his name?Copy !req
25. Here you go, to cut the umbilical cord.Copy !req
26. My uncle.Copy !req
27. Peggy? Peggy!Copy !req
28. Aunt Peggy?Copy !req
29. Okay, think "one piece."Copy !req
30. Peggy.Copy !req
31. Oh, God, you're all smashed up.Copy !req
32. I'm alive.Copy !req
33. Uncle Hank, we're too late!Copy !req
34. Would you like to hold your baby now?Copy !req
35. I'm not the fathe...Copy !req
36. Yes, I would.Copy !req
37. Okay, move it.Copy !req
38. Good. Keep her straight.Copy !req
39. Please, sir, don't touch her.Copy !req
40. Oh, God.Copy !req
41. Aikman takes the snap.Copy !req
42. A quick pass over the middle to Smith.Copy !req
43. To the 20! The ten!Copy !req
44. Emmitt Smith scores!Copy !req
45. Yes.Copy !req
46. - Hank Hill?
- I wasn't watching.Copy !req
47. Uh, just for a second.Copy !req
48. I... I've no idea what the score is.Copy !req
49. I couldn't tell you.Copy !req
50. Your wife is going to be just fine.Copy !req
51. Yes.Copy !req
52. Peggy has a compression fracture
of the bones in her back.Copy !req
53. Thank goodness for the mud.Copy !req
54. She would not have survivedCopy !req
55. if she had fallen on concrete, Mr. Hill.Copy !req
56. Or a fence.Copy !req
57. But she's okay?Copy !req
58. Yes, they're putting her
into a body cast right nowCopy !req
59. to immobilize her while she heals.Copy !req
60. Uh, what color is the cast?Copy !req
61. What does that matter, Mr. Hill?Copy !req
62. I, I don't know.Copy !req
63. I've never been through this before.Copy !req
64. I'm just trying to ask
the right questions.Copy !req
65. It's white. Sponge bath. Bedpan.Copy !req
66. Thank you.Copy !req
67. - Peggy?
- Hank!Copy !req
68. Come on in.Copy !req
69. Look at me!Copy !req
70. I'm in an ensemble.Copy !req
71. My top cast and my bottom cast match.Copy !req
72. Yeah, quality plaster.Copy !req
73. Well, I'm guessing that was Luanne.Copy !req
74. Oh, I wish she wouldn't feel sorry for meCopy !req
75. when I feel so terrific for me.Copy !req
76. I have had a near-death experience.Copy !req
77. Most people never get that,Copy !req
78. except when it's right next
to their death experience,Copy !req
79. and then they can't appreciate it.Copy !req
80. You know what's odd?Copy !req
81. The last thing I remember
was deciding not to jump.Copy !req
82. Hank, what or who would have
made me change my mind?Copy !req
83. Uh, oh, I'm not sure.Copy !req
84. Uh, I don't know. I wasn't in the plane.Copy !req
85. I was on the ground, remember?Copy !req
86. I'm the one who found you.Copy !req
87. Hmm.Copy !req
88. I fell 8,000 feet and survived!Copy !req
89. Whoo-hoo-hoo!Copy !req
90. Bobby?Copy !req
91. Dad!Copy !req
92. Thank God!Copy !req
93. I need a dollar bad.Copy !req
94. - Mom?
- Bobby?Copy !req
95. You really fell out of a plane?Copy !req
96. Yes, sir, I did.Copy !req
97. Your mom is one of only 16 peopleCopy !req
98. who have survived parachutes not opening.Copy !req
99. Now, 16 is my estimate.Copy !req
100. I'll double-check my numbers later.Copy !req
101. Um, I'm sorry about before.Copy !req
102. I don't know what came over me.Copy !req
103. Oh, God!Copy !req
104. What would make you jump out of a plane?Copy !req
105. Uh, that's exactly
what I can't figure out.Copy !req
106. Well, don't try too hard
'cause, uh, the doctor saysCopy !req
107. that could, uh, hurt your bones somehow.Copy !req
108. So, uh, Bobby, how was your day?Copy !req
109. My day?Copy !req
110. Don't get me started!Copy !req
111. My day was incredible.Copy !req
112. I was Didi's birthing partner.Copy !req
113. I cut the umbilical cord!Copy !req
114. Didi! where's Didi?Copy !req
115. Hank, what did you do to your wife?Copy !req
116. I didn't teach you that.Copy !req
117. Where's my new dependent?Copy !req
118. I'm supposed to look at it.Copy !req
119. Where did I put... Oh, there it is.Copy !req
120. Uncle, I present you to your father.Copy !req
121. Look at him.Copy !req
122. His shins are perfect.Copy !req
123. Look at you!Copy !req
124. You're a handsome little soldier.Copy !req
125. You want to kill a Nazi?Copy !req
126. A Nazi, Nazi, squazi?Copy !req
127. A Nazi squazi.Copy !req
128. Didi, did you name this baby yet?Copy !req
129. What's the use?Copy !req
130. I'm calling him "Hank."Copy !req
131. I always wanted a boy named Hank.Copy !req
132. Uh, Dad, Hank is my name.Copy !req
133. Not anymore. I'm taking it back.Copy !req
134. He's Hank.Copy !req
135. You can't take away a grown man's name.Copy !req
136. All right, I'll call him "GH."Copy !req
137. Good Hank.Copy !req
138. Did you see the way
my boy looked at that nurse?Copy !req
139. Practically slapped her rump,
then and there.Copy !req
140. Yeah, Uncle Good Hank
is really something special.Copy !req
141. Dad, this isn't right.Copy !req
142. You call him "Good Hank,"Copy !req
143. it's going to make it sound
like I'm "Bad Hank."Copy !req
144. Well, you burnt my burger, didn't you, BH?Copy !req
145. Peggy, you've got to do it. It's amazing.Copy !req
146. It's the best dang feeling in the world.Copy !req
147. Oh, no. No, don't tell her that.Copy !req
148. Why did you tell her that? Oh...Copy !req
149. No, of course it's safe.Copy !req
150. It's fail-safe.Copy !req
151. I guarantee you'll love it.Copy !req
152. I command you to jump.Copy !req
153. If you love me, you'll jump.Copy !req
154. Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!Copy !req
155. Jump! Jump! Jump!Copy !req
156. There we go. Okay, now you try.Copy !req
157. Ah, we'll see about all this.Copy !req
158. Okay, put this over there. Good.Copy !req
159. I'll tuck this little niblet in there.Copy !req
160. Close up shop. There. Ready for soiling.Copy !req
161. What the...Copy !req
162. The kid is leaking out of his chest!Copy !req
163. That's from his nipples.Copy !req
164. It's a form of lactation.Copy !req
165. Dang it! You said it was a boy!Copy !req
166. He is.Copy !req
167. He's simply been ingesting
a lot of female hormonesCopy !req
168. from his mother.Copy !req
169. It's so common, it has a name.
Witch's Milk.Copy !req
170. Oh, Lord, what did I do?Copy !req
171. Was it the fiddy men I killed?Copy !req
172. Oh, the Maternity Ward ceiling.Copy !req
173. Oh, it reminds me of when my son was born.Copy !req
174. And I am also remindedCopy !req
175. of when my next child will be born.Copy !req
176. Why isn't the baby with his mother?Copy !req
177. Didi Hill has postpartum depression.Copy !req
178. She couldn't even gather up the strength
to put on some lipstick.Copy !req
179. And she looks awful.Copy !req
180. Oh, that poor infant baby.Copy !req
181. Is there something I can do?Copy !req
182. Oh, that's all right, ma'am.Copy !req
183. You just try not to get addicted
to that morphine.Copy !req
184. You did this to my son.Copy !req
185. There's no milk coming out of these.Copy !req
186. Cotton, stop it.Copy !req
187. You should be comforting her.Copy !req
188. Comfort her? Comfort me!Copy !req
189. Mr. Hill, your insurance company's
automated voiceCopy !req
190. says you have to leave
the hospital today, in 85 minutes.Copy !req
191. But I can't take care
of a drippin' witch child.Copy !req
192. Can't we just stay hospitalin'
until Didi gets her brains back?Copy !req
193. Well...Copy !req
194. Maybe if you were
the richest man in America.Copy !req
195. More flowers, Mr. Hill?
Well, don't unwrap them.Copy !req
196. Well, why not? They told me downstairsCopy !req
197. they should be placed in water as soon...Copy !req
198. You, your wife, and those flowers
are going home today.Copy !req
199. But Peggy's got a broken back.Copy !req
200. I know. I told you that.Copy !req
201. But she wants to be discharged.Copy !req
202. I'm not so worried about her back.Copy !req
203. I'm worried about her emotional state.Copy !req
204. Yeah, but she seems so happy.Copy !req
205. Yeah, well, once the thrill
of surviving wears off,Copy !req
206. and it does, trust me, jet ski, July, '94,Copy !req
207. she may experience a second crash
when she feels her own limitations.Copy !req
208. Well, there won't be any second crash.Copy !req
209. As long as I'm around,
I won't let her feel any limitations.Copy !req
210. There's no need for you
to feel this guilty.Copy !req
211. You didn't make her jump.Copy !req
212. Uh, yeah.Copy !req
213. Uh, do you think
you could put that on her chart?Copy !req
214. Peggy, I'm here.Copy !req
215. Hey, we're going home today.Copy !req
216. I have packed myself up
without any help from the nurses.Copy !req
217. Are you sure you're ready?Copy !req
218. Well, honey, ready or not,
I have got to go.Copy !req
219. I invited Cotton and Didi
and the baby to stay with meCopy !req
220. until they can take care of him
on their own.Copy !req
221. You think you can help them
take care of a baby?Copy !req
222. If that poor farm boyCopy !req
223. whose arms were ripped off by a thresherCopy !req
224. could dial 911 with his nose,Copy !req
225. then I think Peggy Hill
can take care of that baby.Copy !req
226. Maybe I'll sign it on the stomach.Copy !req
227. No, the leg.Copy !req
228. No, the stomach.Copy !req
229. Just act natural.Copy !req
230. - Mm-hm.Copy !req
231. Back off. Back off, everybody!Copy !req
232. - Everybody!Copy !req
233. That's our fault, Peggy. Not your fault.Copy !req
234. Try the back door. It'll fit.Copy !req
235. - Aah!
- Oh, man!Copy !req
236. Am I in a very wide bed?Copy !req
237. Well, maybe we can get her in at an angle.Copy !req
238. Come on, guys.Copy !req
239. All right, on three.Copy !req
240. Say "lift" on three, man.Copy !req
241. You ol' mean to yell ol' one, two,Copy !req
242. dang ol' three, then go,Copy !req
243. or do you kind of like
lift right on... on three?Copy !req
244. Just lift now, okay?Copy !req
245. Now!Copy !req
246. Tilt towards me. No, toward...Copy !req
247. Fine, away from me.Copy !req
248. One, two, three.Copy !req
249. Hi, Peggy.Copy !req
250. Hello, Bill.Copy !req
251. I think a "thank you"
would be in order, Peggy.Copy !req
252. Dale, get the hell out of here.Copy !req
253. Okay, enough.Copy !req
254. I'm better off in the living room anyway.Copy !req
255. I can run the whole house from here.Copy !req
256. Hub of the wheel, hub of the wheel.Copy !req
257. Uh, Luanne, I think you got two peopleCopy !req
258. sitting in the same chair there.Copy !req
259. But that's Aunt Peggy's place.Copy !req
260. I can't just put someone there
like she doesn't exist.Copy !req
261. She's still alive, I think.Copy !req
262. Yeah, uh, you know,Copy !req
263. maybe it might do us all some good if...Copy !req
264. if you got away for a while.Copy !req
265. How would you like a few nights
at the Motel Arlen, my treat?Copy !req
266. Highway nine or six?Copy !req
267. Nine.Copy !req
268. No, thank you.Copy !req
269. All right, six.Copy !req
270. Yes!Copy !req
271. Cast make you look good for Peggy Hill,Copy !req
272. like you mummy museum piece,
but with attitude.Copy !req
273. Mummy for the '90s.Copy !req
274. Shug, you ain't helping.Copy !req
275. You know, Peggy, people spend
hundreds of dollars at a spaCopy !req
276. to get wrapped up like that.Copy !req
277. Yes, it's very refreshing.Copy !req
278. Well, I just can't believe your attitude.Copy !req
279. Who would've thought?Copy !req
280. Didi's depressed and you're not.Copy !req
281. - Oh, the baby is here.Copy !req
282. Oh, good, the baby's here.Copy !req
283. Okay, Minh, make sure
Didi puts a hat on him,Copy !req
284. and, Nancy, you make sure he takes it off
when he gets inside the house.Copy !req
285. Bobby, honey, come on in here.Copy !req
286. I will teach you how to change a diaper.Copy !req
287. Already did it.Copy !req
288. I fed him, washed him, diapered him.Copy !req
289. GH is good to go.Copy !req
290. But I got spit-up on my good shorts.Copy !req
291. Just put them by the sink.
I'll get right to it.Copy !req
292. But maybe for now,
just pull down your shirt.Copy !req
293. Hello?Copy !req
294. Someone?Copy !req
295. Please!Copy !req
296. Sorry, Peggy, I was just washing
your unmentionables here.Copy !req
297. you know, towels, washcloths,
that sort of thing.Copy !req
298. Honey, I think a little piece of plaster
fell in my underarm.Copy !req
299. It is driving me crazy.Copy !req
300. Left. My left.Copy !req
301. You know, I thought
I'd be spending more time doing some...Copy !req
302. some hands-on baby care.Copy !req
303. I guess that was just
a little unrealistic, huh?Copy !req
304. Well, you know,
Helen Keller was largely useless,Copy !req
305. but look how we remember her.Copy !req
306. First lady of the American stage.Copy !req
307. Oh, I feel so stupid for jumping.Copy !req
308. It wasn't worth this.Copy !req
309. I mean, why did I do it? Do you remember?Copy !req
310. This is really bugging me, Hank.Copy !req
311. Uh, uh, concentrate
on where the straw's going, please.Copy !req
312. Hank, the straw broke off
five minutes ago.Copy !req
313. Wait, wait, wait,
I just remembered something.Copy !req
314. On the plane, I was talking to youCopy !req
315. on a phone.Copy !req
316. Do planes have phones?Copy !req
317. Huh, that's a good one.Copy !req
318. I'll look into that.Copy !req
319. No, I remember now.Copy !req
320. I was talking to you.Copy !req
321. But what did we say?Copy !req
322. Well, you know, it sounds familiar,Copy !req
323. but with all the noise from the engines,Copy !req
324. and then you falling and all,Copy !req
325. I'm not sure we'll ever know.Copy !req
326. Please, Hank.
You are going to have to be my memoryCopy !req
327. because I don't have one anymore.Copy !req
328. Deal.Copy !req
329. Huh?Copy !req
330. Hank!Copy !req
331. Yeah?Copy !req
332. I'm hungry.Copy !req
333. Hungry? But it's only...Copy !req
334. Oh, okay, I'm on it.Copy !req
335. GH, I'm getting it.Copy !req
336. I'm heating it up.Copy !req
337. Oh, Bobby, good morning, honey.
How are you?Copy !req
338. Dad, Mom's talking.Copy !req
339. How about some eggs?Copy !req
340. You don't have to yell.Copy !req
341. We can hear you just fine
through the baby monitor.Copy !req
342. Why am I being fed with a bottle, Hank?Copy !req
343. Well, we're out of straws.Copy !req
344. Well, I do not want
to be fed with a bottle.Copy !req
345. I... It's just easier, okay? Please?Copy !req
346. Oh, what is that?Copy !req
347. Well, should be
carnation instant breakfast.Copy !req
348. Well, it tastes like... like formula.Copy !req
349. Uh-oh.Copy !req
350. You took Peggy's bottle,
and I took the baby's bottle?Copy !req
351. Oh.Copy !req
352. Well, now, that's funny.Copy !req
353. What are you doing?
Look, I do not want a bottle, okay?Copy !req
354. - Shh.
- I'm not hungry.Copy !req
355. - Shh.
- I want eggs.Copy !req
356. Shh. Shh. Shh...Copy !req
357. Maybe Mom just needs to burp.Copy !req
358. Uh, Bobby, could you, uh,
give us a moment?Copy !req
359. - What's wrong?Copy !req
360. My life... My life is ruined.Copy !req
361. I had to jump out of a plane
for our anniversary.Copy !req
362. Oh, I'm sorry, Hank.Copy !req
363. I ruined both of our lives.Copy !req
364. Oh. Okay, look, uh...Copy !req
365. It wasn't your fault.Copy !req
366. It was my fault.Copy !req
367. What?Copy !req
368. I do remember
what I said to you in the plane.Copy !req
369. I never didn't remember.Copy !req
370. I begged you to jump, Peggy.Copy !req
371. You didn't want to, but, well, I made you.Copy !req
372. Hank, wait...Copy !req
373. "Jump, Peggy, jump! It's amazing!Copy !req
374. It's the greatest
dang feeling in the world!"Copy !req
375. Hank, I'm remembering.Copy !req
376. I didn't jump because you told me to jump.Copy !req
377. I jumped because of what you said
right after that,Copy !req
378. about how Didi was starting
to have her baby.Copy !req
379. I jumped because I was jealous.Copy !req
380. Well, you can still have a baby.Copy !req
381. She's three years older than you,
and she just had a baby.Copy !req
382. Do you know what torture that is?Copy !req
383. I was once one of the finest mothersCopy !req
384. in the state of Texas, and now...Copy !req
385. Now I can't even wipe a baby.Copy !req
386. And I have to watch those two,
Cotton and Stupid,Copy !req
387. with their beautiful new baby
that they don't even want?Copy !req
388. Well, what are you smiling about?Copy !req
389. It wasn't my fault.Copy !req
390. It's just such a load off my mind.Copy !req
391. I feel lighter than air. I...Copy !req
392. I...Copy !req
393. I mean, I feel bad in a new way, for you,Copy !req
394. because, uh, of what you were just saying.Copy !req
395. That stuff.Copy !req
396. Just leave me alone, okay?Copy !req
397. You just want me to leave?Copy !req
398. Yes.Copy !req
399. So, like, the right thing for me to do
is just leave, even though you're crying?Copy !req
400. Go!Copy !req
401. Huh. Well, I'm skeptical, but okay.Copy !req
402. Bobby, since you're doing
all the woman's work around here,Copy !req
403. be a woman and get me my shin jelly.Copy !req
404. GH kind of needs me right now.Copy !req
405. So, take him along.Copy !req
406. Just get the jelly and lather me up.Copy !req
407. Fine, I'll get you the...Copy !req
408. Bobby.Copy !req
409. Could you buy me some lottery tickets?Copy !req
410. I...Copy !req
411. I am a 12-year-old boy!Copy !req
412. I am this child's nephew!Copy !req
413. I cannot do this.Copy !req
414. I can not do this!Copy !req
415. If anybody makes any dinner, I'll eat,Copy !req
416. but that's it!Copy !req
417. All I'll do is eat!Copy !req
418. Oh, uh...Copy !req
419. Baby. Huh.Copy !req
420. Stop crying.Copy !req
421. I... Oh...Copy !req
422. I'm tired.Copy !req
423. Didi?Copy !req
424. Didi, are you leaving?Copy !req
425. No, please.Copy !req
426. Someone has to watch the baby.Copy !req
427. Because unless it's flying
above my head, I cannot do it.Copy !req
428. All right, help!Copy !req
429. Would somebody co...Copy !req
430. Hank!Copy !req
431. What? What's wrong?Copy !req
432. I shouldn't have left, right?Copy !req
433. You know, I had a feeling.Copy !req
434. The baby...Copy !req
435. - Yeah?
- It's crying.Copy !req
436. It's always crying.Copy !req
437. The baby hasn't stopped crying
since it got here.Copy !req
438. Just do something.Copy !req
439. Huh?Copy !req
440. Hmm.Copy !req
441. Sure you're my brother?Copy !req
442. Hank!Copy !req
443. Hank, hey, wait, don't go.Copy !req
444. Hank, don't go!Copy !req
445. Mm-hm.Copy !req
446. All right, I've had enough, Dad.Copy !req
447. There's a baby crying in the house.Copy !req
448. - Well, go fix it.
- You go fix it!Copy !req
449. I ain't getting near that child.Copy !req
450. He's possessed!Copy !req
451. He's just leaking a little milk.Copy !req
452. Sure, it's disturbing,
but he'll grow out of it.Copy !req
453. How do you know?Copy !req
454. Are you a leaker?Copy !req
455. Are you leaking on me right now, leaky?Copy !req
456. Wha... You hear that? That silence?Copy !req
457. - GH?
- Something's wrong.Copy !req
458. Isn't it amazing?Copy !req
459. It's the greatest dang feeling
in the world.Copy !req
460. A Nazi, Nazi, squazi?Copy !req