King of the Hill 3x3

Directed by

Jonathan Joss as John Redcorn (voice)

When Peggy starts writing "musings" for the local newspaper, the pressure gives her a headache, so she goes to John Redcorn for a therapeutic massage. When she finds out that Dale's wife Nancy is having an affair with John Redcorn, she is so horrified that she decides to tell Dale about it.

Request examples:

!req King of the Hill 3x3 [02:32]
!req King of the Hill 3x3 [King of the Hill 3x3]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req King of the Hill 3x3 [10-11]; !req King of the Hill 3x3 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Morning, Dale.

2. Mm-hmm.

3. Hi, John Redcorn.

4. Uh… Dale.

5. Morning, John Redcorn.

6. Oh, uh, Peggy.

7. Just dropping off a new healing herb for Nancy, uh

8. to help with her migraines.

9. Gingko Biloba.

10. Oh, yeah, uh-huh, sure. I've heard of that.

11. Heck, you must be reading Doyle Harcavy.

12. What's he got for us this morning?

13. "When it comes to starting the day

14. nothing wakes me up faster than coffee."

15. Boy, he's got that right.

16. "They say children are a blessing,

17. but mine are holy terrors."

18. Oh, Doyle Harcavy knows children.

19. Of course, his daughter jumped out a window.

20. Oh.

21. I don't believe it. Doyle Harcavy is retiring from the "musings" column.

22. No!

23. He's going to write product descriptions for Bradley air and heat.

24. I, I don't know how they'll ever replace him.

25. I know how.

26. You could write that column, Aunt Peggy.

27. You're a natural.

28. Now, Luanne, Peggy has a musing now and then,

29. but Doyle Harcavy is a musing machine.

30. I think I could do it as well as anyone else could.

31. I play boggle, and that takes verbal ability,

32. and I'm always making observations, all day long.

33. Really? Go ahead, come up with one.

34. You mean right now? Okay.

35. All right… Well, let's see.

36. Hmm… Mm-mm, mm-mm.

37. Mmm…

38. I… like… milk.

39. Hey, that's the best so far.

40. Do one about cookies.

41. Mmm… hmm.

42. Hmm… no.

43. Hmm… stupid.

44. Hmm… mmm…

45. Too obvious.

46. Why don't you try some out on me?

47. Give me your five best.

48. I cannot work with you coming in here every two hours

49. and yelling at me.

50. I'm going to Nancy's.

51. Nancy?

52. Nancy?

53. Hello?

54. Where are you?

55. Nancy?

56. Nancy?

57. Oh, there you are.

58. Hello, John Redcorn.

59. Uh, yes, we were just… uh, back here.

60. Oh, whew. I just had to get out of that house.

61. I am trying to do some creative work,

62. and Hank seems to think that he's helping by making me more and more stressed out.

63. It is giving me a whopping headache.

64. Yes, headaches can often be caused by stress.

65. Of course, John Redcorn.

66. You're a licensed new age healer.

67. Why don't I try a healing session with you?

68. Well, I…

69. I guess that would be all right.

70. It is my job.

71. Oh, that'd be great.

72. Okay, I'll call you for an appointment.

73. That was awkward.

74. What kind of game is she playing?

75. Well, shug, I don't think she knows about us.

76. Peggy's got such a trusting nature.

77. She always believes the best in people.

78. You know

79. all of a sudden, I feel dirty.

80. I'm going to take a shower.

81. I'll join you.

82. Oh, well, isn't this lovely?

83. I, I wasn't expecting carpet.

84. I was expecting…

85. Well, I don't know what I was expecting.

86. Not carpet.

87. Peggy… relax.

88. Well, what an interesting chair.

89. You know, when I'm sitting in a chair,

90. I never know quite what to do with my head.

91. So this, this is wonderful.

92. - Thank you. - Mm.

93. It's from Brookstone.

94. Mmm.

95. The whales sing of joy and sorrow

96. of gain and loss

97. like Leann Rimes.

98. Ah, there.

99. Now lie quietly for as long as you want

100. while I copy both sides of your insurance card.

101. Yo, Peggy's going to have a hard time replacing Doyle Harcavy.

102. That guy's amazing.

103. You look at his picture in the paper,

104. he never gets a day older.

105. Well, she has to mail in a sample column this week.

106. But she'll muse circles around him if she can just get past her headaches.

107. Well, those headaches are good as gone.

108. Peggy went to John Redcorn for a healing.

109. What?

110. Don't worry, old John R will fix her up just like he does for Nancy

111. three times a week.

112. Oh, Hank, I'm sure Peggy's headache is nowhere near

113. as serious as N-N-Nancy's.

114. Ooh, man, I tell you what, man.

115. You don't even, don't want…

116. Don't worry about Peggy.

117. She does not have the same kind of

118. medical condition that's causing Dale's wife

119. to… uh, suffer… unduly.

120. Where is she?

121. Oh, hi, Hank.

122. Uh, hey, Peggy. I guess dinner's gonna be a little late tonight, huh?

123. Yep.

124. I just had a headache session with John Redcorn.

125. He lit some sweet grass, and then I drifted off.

126. The next thing I knew, I felt fan-freakin'-tastic.

127. Well, good, your headache's gone.

128. Then I guess you're all done with John freaking Redcorn.

129. Oh, no, this is just the beginning.

130. I have already scheduled another treatment for next week.

131. Peggy,

132. I don't know how some guy rubbing your neck helps your head.

133. I mean, what's the connection?

134. Ooh, my reporter's instincts tell me someone's a little grumpy

135. without his dinner.

136. I…

137. I just got my first musing.

138. My husband calls me his better half

139. because I "better half" dinner on the table when he gets home.

140. I'm going to go write that up while it's still fresh.

141. What's wrong, Uncle Hank?

142. Nothing's wrong. It's good news.

143. Peggy had her headache cured by John Redcorn.

144. Stop that!

145. Put your face back the way it was before somebody sees you.

146. What's wrong, Luanne?

147. Nothing's wrong, Bobby.

148. Now go play outside. Dinner's going to be a little late.

149. Hank. Would you like a beer?

150. This is not a social call, John Redcorn.

151. I think I know why you're here.

152. Your wife came to me with a headache.

153. A real headache.

154. Her head actually hurt.

155. I know that, but as I recall,

156. that's how it started with Nancy Gribble.

157. Hank, you are my friend.

158. I promise you, I would never heal your wife

159. in the way that I heal the wives of others.

160. You better not because if you lay one

161. unprofessional hand on Peggy, I'm going to kick your ass.

162. I will.

163. Oh, oh, my! Oh, my lord!

164. Oh, Hank, I got it.

165. They are giving me the "musings" column.

166. Oh, thank God.

167. You got the job, the pressure's off, no more headaches, right?

168. Are you kidding?

169. I have weekly deadlines now.

170. I'm gonna have to schedule a regular night with John Redcorn.

171. What?

172. No, you don't need John Redcorn to get rid of a headache.

173. Here, I'll give you a massage.

174. Wh… uh… ow! Ow!

175. Just let me know where you really need it.

176. That's my kidneys.

177. Breathe.

178. Picture a wide, open field.

179. Throw some birds in there if you want.

180. Hank, stop it.

181. You're just pinching and slapping and poking me.

182. What is it that you have against John Redcorn?

183. Don't make me say it.

184. You know what he does to his clients.

185. You think he's overcharging me?

186. Well, for your information, I checked around.

187. He is less expensive than both VIP and oriental massage.

188. For God's sakes, Peggy, come on.

189. It's taken him 13 years to cure Nancy's headache.

190. So, you're saying he…

191. What are you saying?

192. You're calling him a quack?

193. You're saying his methods aren't effective?

194. No.

195. I'm saying they're very effective.

196. Come on, you know what I'm talking about.

197. Nancy, John Redcorn, Joseph…

198. Good God!

199. Ooh, I just cannot believe that I could be so stupid.

200. How could you not tell me what was going on

201. in my own side yard?

202. I thought you knew.

203. How could you not know?

204. I mean, look at Joseph.

205. Where do you think he came from?

206. Nancy told me Dale had a Jamaican grandmother.

207. Oh, I believed her.

208. Oh, my God! Dale!

209. Does Dale know?

210. No, no, he's as slow as you…

211. - Huh? - In a sweet, trusting sort of way.

212. Shameless tramp!

213. How can she?

214. I just cannot believe…

215. Oh! Oh. Ow.

216. You dirty bird.

217. What's wrong, shug?

218. Joseph is not Jamaican, and neither is Dale,

219. and I am beginning to suspect that his grandmother isn't, either.

220. So, you know.

221. - Who told you? - No one had to tell me.

222. How stupid do you think I am?

223. You've been cheating for 12 years.

224. Nancy, how could you?

225. I have my reasons.

226. Yes, and I've seen those reasons packed into his Sergio Valente jeans.

227. I bet you don't even have headaches anymore.

228. And you!

229. Dale gribble is your friend.

230. How could you be a look-the-other-wayer?

231. Now, Peggy, you're sort of freaked out because it's still fresh for you.

232. Live with it a while.

233. You'll see. You'll get used to it.

234. The only thing I ever want to get used to is a cold glass of lemonade.

235. I am still a journalist, darn it.

236. Did anyone else sniff today's garbage?

237. And I thought yesterday's garbage smelled good.

238. Morning, Dale.

239. You poor, poor man.

240. Hi, John Redcorn.

241. Uh, Dale.

242. Well, well, well.

243. Jo-hohn redcorn.

244. Oh, Peggy.

245. Nancy's headaches are very severe this morning.

246. Uh, must be the pollen.

247. Well, well, well.

248. - Well. - Jo-hohn Redcorn.

249. Pe-heggy Hill.

250. Peggy hill, what's so important I have to jump off treadmill?

251. Oh, I am so sorry, Minh,

252. but I had to talk to someone.

253. It's about Nancy.

254. She's having an affair.

255. Oh, my God!

256. She's cheating on John Redcorn?

257. You know about them?

258. Oh, not at first.

259. It took me about an hour,

260. but I'm naive and trusting person.

261. Peggy Hill, you not know?

262. Oh, I, I knew.

263. Peggy Hill not know! That is so funny!

264. Okay, who I tell? Who I tell?

265. Oh! I email Kahn.

266. Why are we drinking beer in front of my house?

267. We always drink beer in the back of my house.

268. This feels wrong.

269. But I like it.

270. Dale will never find us here, and we need to talk alone.

271. Does it bother anyone that we've known for years

272. what's going on with Nancy, and Dale doesn't?

273. Nancy is having an affair with John Redcorn?

274. This is the first I've heard of it.

275. I am shocked. I mean, I am shocked.

276. That's what I mean, I am appalled.

277. Yeah, man, I tell you what pryin' in them family secrets

278. no good skeletons in the ol' closet, man

279. talkin' that ol' orville redenbacher, man

280. just a dang ol' actor, man.

281. Look, can't we just discuss it for five seconds?

282. I don't believe it.

283. I've known Dale and Nancy for years,

284. and they have a fairybook marriage.

285. Ah, shut up, Bill.

286. Why, Dale. How nice to see you.

287. I can't find Hank, Bill or Boomhauer.

288. If they are hiding behind the door

289. just nod slowly.

290. Oh, you sweet man.

291. You know, I have been thinking lot about you.

292. We never get to talk, you and I. Why is that?

293. Anyway, Nancy should count herself lucky to have a man like you.

294. Just look at you… the way that

295. hat accents your… head.

296. Plenty of women would be happy to have you.

297. Good, good women.

298. Would you like to come in for some pie?

299. I should go.

300. Hey, Dale, what's going on?

301. Oh, not much.

302. Peggy hill wants to leave Hank and run away with me.

303. I don't believe it.

304. Why, they have a fairybook marriage.

305. Let's face it. Angie Dickinson has lost her looks.

306. "Mix pineapple juice with club soda

307. you've got yourself a big bucket of crap."

308. Well, go ahead, say it.

309. They're terrible.

310. How am I supposed to appreciate the little things in life

311. when so many big things are wrong and evil?

312. Oh, don't worry, Aunt Peggy.

313. I'm sure that even Doyle Harcavy had trouble sometimes.

314. Doyle Harcavy, Doyle Harcavy.

315. If you ask me, Doyle Harcavy wasn't that good.

316. Thank you, Mom.

317. It's about time somebody said it.

318. Of course coffee wakes you up in the morning.

319. I mean, that's how they advertise it.

320. You'll see.

321. Being with the Gribbles when you know about Nancy

322. is weird at first, but it goes away after a few years.

323. It helps if you think of something else.

324. I use sports.

325. You can use boggle.

326. All right. You guys are just in time.

327. Boomhauer's on second,

328. and Nancy's healer's at bat.

329. Oh, man, look at that John Redcorn. He sure can swing.

330. Whoo!

331. Good eye.

332. Are you kidding? This guy never strikes out.

333. Ain't that right, Nancy?

334. Oh! Boggle. Boggle, boggle. Think boggle.

335. All right! Way to go, man! Whoo-hoo!

336. Redcorn's gonna score again!

337. Oh! Score. Score, scores.

338. Core, cores, sore, sores, oh!

339. All right, come on, John! Come on! He's going all the way!

340. I have to get out of here.

341. Ball park nachos.

342. You don't buy 'em, you only rent 'em.

343. I'm done, Hank.

344. My rose-colored glasses are off,

345. and the world looks flesh-colored and unappealing.

346. I cannot live the lie anymore.

347. Well, it takes two to talk about it,

348. and everyone else already knows, and isn't interested.

349. Mm-mmm. No. Not everybody knows, Hank.

350. I can think of one person who doesn't…

351. The one person who really should.

352. Well! All right!

353. Way to go!

354. D Big, bad John d.

355. Hold up, Peggy!

356. You can't just walk back over there and tell Dale his wife's cheating on him.

357. Just let sleeping dogs lie.

358. Oh, interesting choice of words, Mr. Hill. "Lie."

359. I meant lie down.

360. I know that, Hank.

361. Dogs don't tell lies.

362. Only people lie.

363. They lie like dogs. Hmm.

364. Hank, there's something I just figured out and you need to know.

365. Uh… sorry, I can't hear you.

366. Probably none of my business anyway. Sander.

367. Hank, it's important.

368. Your wife loves me and wants us to run off together.

369. I've not yet been able to ascertain where.

370. - Dale… - No problemo on this end.

371. I don't even find her attractive.

372. Of course you do, and I appreciate the lie,

373. but Peggy's just being nice to you.

374. But you're a good friend for wanting to tell me.

375. Uh, Dale, if the shoe were on the other foot,

376. would you want to know?

377. Don't flatter yourself, Hank.

378. Nancy likes her men thin and pale of face.

379. I thank God every day for sending me an angel

380. with the hots for my track team physique.

381. "You hear the expression, 'lie like a dog'"

382. often enough that it is almost a cliche,

383. but, more often than not if someone is lying to you,

384. they're a person.

385. We all know a certain person who is lying to her husband.

386. Every time we look the other way,

387. we add a lie to a lie.

388. "Well, this reporter is not going to lie anymore."

389. And you can print that.

390. - Excuse me. - Shug, listen,

391. I love Dale but in a lights-on sort of way.

392. Well, I feel for you, I really do,

393. but you married for better or worse, and worse includes Dale.

394. Now, either you tell him, or I will.

395. Peggy, please.

396. - I'm not going to… - Well, then, get out of my way.

397. Hey, Dale.

398. I thought I'd like to take a little of my own advice this morning.

399. Having some waffles, are you?

400. No. I meant the longer one about sleeping dogs.

401. Dale, I have to tell you something very important.

402. - Oh, no! - Dale…

403. Nancy is not the wife you think she is,

404. and, and John Redcorn…

405. Well, he is not the friend that you think he is.

406. Wait a minute. Let me get this straight.

407. Nancy and John Redcorn did something to your dog?

408. No, damn it, Dale! Nancy and John Redcorn…

409. - Hey, Dad! - Just a sec, Peggy.

410. - Yes, son? - Me and Bobby are bored.

411. What do we do?

412. How about renting a videotape?

413. Yeah, well, we want to see Encino Man,

414. but we don't have any money.

415. Pauly Shore, 1992. Classic.

416. Hmm. Well, I got two fives… One for you, one for me.

417. Thanks, Dad.

418. Oh, wait. I found some more.

419. Can't watch Encino Man without milk balls, huh?

420. Thanks, Dad!

421. Ah, sorry about that, Peggy.

422. Now, what is it that I don't know?

423. Dale, uh…

424. I just found out that…

425. Vikings were the first visitors to, to the moon.

426. Well, I knew that.

427. Why do you think we named our spacecraft after them?

428. Poor, naive Peggy.

429. Oh, well, that makes sense.

430. I'm so glad you and I could have this little talk.

431. I feel so much better.

432. Okay, I guess. Mmm.

433. - Peggy. - Huh?

434. You got a good husband there.

435. He doesn't have the best body on the alley,

436. but he's got a good head on his shoulders.

437. Yeah, I know.

438. Well? How'd he take it?

439. Ah, I couldn't tell him.

440. I guess some things are best left unsaid.

441. Yep.

442. - You know, Hank, I… - I know, and, Peggy…

443. - I gotcha. - All right, then.

444. Great. Pepperoni it is.

445. Pe-heggy Hill.