King of the Hill 3x24

Directed by

Jane Wiedlin as Kate (voice) • Gabrielle Carteris as Julie / Rita Bevacqua (voice) • Chuck Mangione as Chuck Mangione (voice) • Eloy Casados as Enrique (voice)

When Thaterton stacks his Company softball team with Pro sports stars, Hank pulls Peggy off of her own Softball team to become the Ace pitcher for Strickland Propane. Unfortunately, Hank's over-managing causes her to lose her stuff, and cause her to lose the love for the sport.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. you want potatoes with that, buck?

2. You know I do, Miss fybel.

3. Scattered, smothered and covered.

4. Hank will have the same.

5. Actually, uh,

6. I prefer my potatoes diced and chunked—

7. I already ordered for you.

8. Now listen up. Chamber of commerce

9. is puttin' together a coed softball league.

10. I want you to play and be head coach.

11. Head coach? Like—like tom landry?

12. Uh, I'm—I'm gonna need a moment here, sir.

13. what you got, buck? Vanilla milkshake?

14. Doctor wants you to put on another 40 pounds?

15. Get out of here, thatherton.

16. Oh, where are my manners?

17. Allow me to introduce the newest dispatcher

18. at thatherton fuels

19. mrs. Rita bevacqua.

20. Bevacqua? Huh. Is that any relation

21. to former texas rangers 3rd baseman, kurt bevacqua ?

22. kurt's my husband by marriage.

23. the chamber of commerce rule book

24. says immediate family is eligible to play.

25. Husband falls under the category

26. of immediate family, don't it, boys?

27. Thatherton!

28. I hope my picture isn't at the edge of the page.

29. Last year it just said , "connie soup."

30. Yeah, but I could still tell it was you,

31. even without the "hanousinphone."

32. You're so sweet, bobby.

33. I can't help it.

34. You guys are a couple.

35. Can you believe they put that picture in there?

36. Yeah. Can you believe it?

37. hank, what are you doing here?

38. did bobby do something to his eye?

39. No, no, no.

40. Strickland propane is gonna have a softball team

41. and I was name d the head coach

42. well, congratulations, hank.

43. My game went well.

44. Thank you so much for asking.

45. Here's the best part.

46. It's a coed league with a woman-must-pitch rule.

47. So you'll be pitching for team strickland.

48. But I already pitch for a team, hank.

49. The lady giants.

50. But this is a chance to play

51. in a serious leagu e against men.

52. s See how you do against batter

53. who can really put som e aluminum into the ball

54. I am in a serious league, hank.

55. Of course, you wouldn't know how serious

56. because you've never come to one of my games.

57. Peggy, you know that tuesday's my night

58. to drink beer in the alley with the guys.

59. It has been for years.

60. Let's see, I got enrique at shortstop

61. and joe jack in center field.

62. I'll have to put mr. Strickland at catcher.

63. It's the only position his cardiologist would clear him to play.

64. And he, uh, has to sit on a stool.

65. I wish you could coach

66. my army softball team, hank.

67. We don't have any good leaders.

68. That's classified.

69. This chamber of commie-erce league

70. discriminates against the self-employed.

71. I'm a one-man extermination corporation.

72. How am I supposed to play?

73. Those are the rules, dale.

74. You gotta have a strickland pay stub or be a strickland wife.

75. I've sprayed stricklan d for termites.

76. I have a pay stub.

77. I'm on the team! I'm on the team!

78. ! get your arrow girl cookies

79. hey, connie, wanna see me do a...

80. what a dork.

81. My mom spent 2 hours stacking those boxes.

82. Got milk?

83. 'cause you got cookies. Am I right?

84. Connie, tell your boyfriend to go away.

85. He's hurting business.

86. Just 'cause we're on the "couples" page

87. doesn't mean he's my boyfriend.

88. I know that.

89. Uh, I—I just came to buy a box of arrow girl cookies.

90. these cookies stink.

91. They're waxy and stale

92. bobby, maybe you should go, ok?

93. All right, debbie, fire one in there.

94. Let's see what joe jack's got.

95. get out of here, baby.

96. I got it. I got it.

97. all right. Somebody pick up the dang ball.

98. back it up, fellas. I'm going deep.

99. doggone it, hank!

100. Give me a boost off this dang stool, would you?

101. shoot! I'm gonna get that son of a bitch.

102. mr. Strickland, sir, throw the dang ball!

103. no, I got him. I—I got him!

104. shoot! I'm having an infarction!

105. safe!

106. you know, my offer's still open.

107. We could really use a good pitcher, I tell you what.

108. Mmm. 'cause if you can pitch as good as you make cookies—

109. My answer is still no.

110. And bobby baked them.

111. What?

112. I used double the butter. Aren't they great?

113. Better than the arrow girls'.

114. Oh, god! You didn't join the arrow girls, did you?

115. No, and I never will.

116. But I will sell more cookies than troop number 159,

117. connie souphanousinphone, secretary-treasurer.

118. Just don't wear the apron out of the house, please.

119. ok, hank.

120. I drove you here, and I helped you carry the bats.

121. They seemed light enough for one person,

122. but what's done is done.

123. , Yeah, well, as long as you're here

124. maybe you could give debbi e some pointers on pitching.

125. Here, I brough t your mitt.

126. Goodbye, honey.

127. strickland's pitching.

128. Oh, what can they do?

129. The league requires a woman pitcher.

130. Like I tell my gym class, girls can't play sports.

131. At least I found one that can get it over the plate,

132. if you know what I mean.

133. I'm having sex with her.

134. but she's no good at sports, right?

135. Oh, thatherton.

136. Oh, yeah!

137. I am saving my good stuff for our first game.

138. ? [star spangled banner playing]

139. ? [feels so good by chuck mangione playing]

140. ? [star spangled banner playing]

141. ! strike

142. one up, one down.

143. A strikeout for peggy hill!

144. 2!

145. strike!

146. ooh!

147. go sit dow n on him.

148. Yeah, peggy.

149. 15 strikeouts for peggy hill.

150. And your winner is the strickland bobtails!

151. All right.

152. uh, you know, this team didn't coach itself.

153. He's right. Nice job, hank.

154. Oh, man!

155. Did you see that 2nd bunt I laid down?

156. They threw you out in about 20 feet, you sweet gazelle.

157. all right. Quiet down, team.

158. Ok, I'd like to say a few words as coach.

159. That was a good team effort out there, everybody.

160. Joe jack, you got yourself a couple r.b.I.s.

161. Nice goin'.

162. Enrique, dynamite job of catchin'.

163. Aren't you forgetting someone, coach?

164. All right. All right.

165. I might be a little biased,

166. but, uh, I did coach one heck of a game, I tell you what.

167. So thank you, and enjoy your pizza.

168. And not one of my beauty school credits

169. has transferred to junior college.

170. It turns out you have to get at least a "c."

171. tsk.

172. Never hurts to quit.

173. I'm hungry. Where's dad?

174. Probably busy patting himself on the back

175. for giving birth to you.

176. Morning. Oops, time to flip 'em.

177. Uh-uh, they're not ready yet.

178. They're brown around the edges, peggy.

179. You don't want to burn 'em.

180. Hank, I have been flapping jacks for 32 years.

181. Well, it's never too late

182. to learn how to do it right.

183. here, let me show you.

184. There is nothing you can show me.

185. Please be careful with the pancakes.

186. Don't buy inferior arrow girl cookies.

187. What are they offering?

188. Oatmeal. That's for breakfast.

189. Mints. What are you, 60?

190. And dog poop.

191. What kind of flavor is that for a cookie?

192. Oh, my mistake. That's their peanut butter

193. hello, ladies.

194. ? Bobby, what are you doing

195. I am trying to restore the good name of cookies.

196. Here, taste.

197. this tastes like mud.

198. What? That's a lie. You take that back.

199. Taste it, connie.

200. Don't do it.

201. Don't let him make you eat mud.

202. This isn't funny, bobby.

203. Connie, wait! There's nothing wrong with bobby's cookies.

204. Look at me. I'm eating 'em.

205. They've got your head all turned around.

206. sorry I'm late

207. that's what I get for picking

208. the most popular gynecologist in arlen.

209. Well, try not to let it happen again.

210. I can't let the players think

211. I'm givin' you special treatment 'cause you're, you know...

212. The best? my wife.

213. Good afternoon, luanne.

214. Hey, uncle hank.

215. Run along, now.

216. I need her behind the plate.

217. Enrique is a nice man, but he has got a porcelain hand.

218. I'm afraid to throw full speed.

219. Look, the roster's already set

220. and we already have 3 women on the team.

221. Did—did I hear you right?

222. You said you wanna replace our catcher enrique with this little filly?

223. Luanne has a lot of experience catching me.

224. But I told her, sir, that we didn't have any room—

225. Enrique, you're fired!

226. huh. Just kiddin'. Hank, stick him somewhere.

227. strike 3!

228. Put up another "k" for peggy hill!

229. peggy, peggy, throw it here.

230. strike, dag on, 3, man.

231. looking good! All right.

232. ok, let's walk this next batter,

233. set up the double play

234. oh, hank, I can strike out this lap dancer in my sleep.

235. No, it's not good strategy.

236. Walk this gal, and pitch to the one

237. with the ridiculous implants up next.

238. oh, yeah!

239. outfield shift.

240. No, no, no, shift back. That's right. Little more.

241. safe.

242. What?

243. Are you blind? He was out by 2 steps.

244. Hey, man, get— Get out of my face!

245. You haven't made a right call since this game started.

246. this isn't about my wife.

247. I'll kick your ass, I'll tell you what.

248. You're out of here!

249. peggy.

250. Hello, hank.

251. ? So, uh, did we win

252. uh-huh.

253. How could you get me thrown out of the game?

254. Me? What did I have to do with it?

255. It never would have happened

256. if you didn't shift the fielders bac k after I moved 'em.

257. You embarrassed me as your husband,

258. I—I mean coach.

259. Well, coach, if you had moved them to the right place

260. in the first place—

261. I told you to walk that stripper.

262. What— That was a week ago.

263. And I always got to position players in my other league.

264. Oh, sorry. That's right.

265. You wouldn't know that because you never came to watch me.

266. Well, you never watched me sell propane.

267. Hank, I am sick and tired of always batting last.

268. It's not fair to me.

269. You? You're the one who won't run fast

270. 'cause you're afraid your hat'll fall off

271. and your bald spot will show.

272. everybody wants to be a superstar today.

273. Nobody wants to be a team player.

274. You know, when the coach told mickey mantle to take a pitch,

275. and he wasn't too hung-over to see the sign,

276. he took the pitch, I tell you what.

277. now batting for the army,

278. william fontaine delatur dauterive.

279. all right, I want you to throw him some chin music.

280. Get him off the plate so he can't put his gut into it.

281. You don't know how to position an outfield.

282. You don't know when to flip a pancake

283. and you don't know jack smith about pitching.

284. So back off, coach!

285. I'm not asking you as your coach.

286. I'm asking you as your husband.

287. They're all looking at us.

288. Well, I am not your wife.

289. I mean, I am your... Well, on the field, I am—

290. I love you.

291. Oh, yeah!

292. I'm all right.

293. I'm all right.

294. ok, peggy, I get the message.

295. Now put it over the plate

296. made your point.

297. I am trying, hank. I really am.

298. oh, peggy.

299. there's nothin' wrong with you that good coaching can't fix.

300. Bobby, come on in here, son.

301. ok.

302. all right. Play ball.

303. hey!

304. I—I—I can't find the plate anymore.

305. Without my pitching, what am I?

306. I am just one more 4-eyed boggle champion.

307. Ok, here's your problem.

308. You need to tuck your elbow in more

309. and release earlie r in your windmill.

310. Really? Are you sure? I think—

311. Don't think.

312. Thinking leads to overthinking.

313. Just listen to your coach.

314. oh, my god! You killed my minh!

315. Not really.

316. But you really do suck, peggy hill.

317. oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!

318. oh!

319. Oh, yeah!

320. ok.

321. we're playin' thatherton's team today, luanne.

322. Be careful

323. he'll try every trick in the book to mess with the catcher,

324. including the use of off-color language.

325. Tatherton!

326. Luanne, while the rest of arlen was sleeping,

327. I was out in the yard throwing strikes.

328. And it is safe to say the pitch is back!

329. oh, peggy.

330. just like I told you.

331. tell you what, man, let's play some dang old ball.

332. Here we go, peggy.

333. Keep tuckin' that elbow in.

334. dang old. Dang old.

335. Take your base.

336. aunt peggy, watch out!

337. who's ready to take the cookie challenge?

338. On the left,

339. bobby's cookies.

340. Fresh and buttery.

341. On the right, arrow girl cookies.

342. Foul and musty.

343. Bobby hill, you have mocked your last arrow girl cookie.

344. hey, what are you doing?

345. Connie, help! Save the cookies!

346. No, we're getting rid of the mud cookies.

347. Connie, smash 'em.

348. hey!

349. these are great. They don't taste like mud.

350. They taste like...

351. Uh, butter.

352. double the butter.

353. You lied to me.

354. My boyfriend is a cookie genius.

355. Yeah, I am a cookie... Boyfriend?

356. man!

357. going, going, gone!

358. How are you fixed for propane, thatherton?

359. oh, there's a double off the back fence.

360. Thatherton takes the lead!

361. It's the bottom of the 7th and final inning.

362. 2 outs. Runners on first and second

363. and strickland up only by a run.

364. Hey, hank, your wife seems to have lost her stuff.

365. Maybe it's the presence of a real man on the field

366. no, it is not.

367. Tuck that elbow, peggy Square your hips.

368. Drive off the rubber concurrent with your release plane.

369. Concurrent, I said

370. the bases are juiced.

371. Next up, former texas ranger kurt bevacqua.

372. Time-out there, ump. God dang it, hank!

373. Thatherton's got more people on the bases

374. than he does on his payroll.

375. Oh, shoot!

376. Your gal's broke, hank. She's broke.

377. Find a way to fix her. You're her husband.

378. Husband? What does that have to do with...

379. hmm.

380. I got to make a change, peggy.

381. I'm sorry. I—I thought I had it worked out.

382. Debbie, you're playing first base.

383. And you, you strike this ringer out.

384. What are you doing, dad?

385. I'm making the best coaching decision I ever made.

386. I'm taking myself out of the game

387. so I can watch your mom pitch.

388. Hey, man, you don't think you could hook me up

389. with some of them ranger tickets, man?

390. Strike one

391. strike 2. Come on, peggy! One more time.

392. You can do it, mom!

393. Take him down, ace!

394. oh, yeah!

395. dang old.

396. Whoo-hoo!

397. Team strickland wins!

398. all right! You did it, peggy!

399. Oh, hank, you are the world's greatest coach!

400. yeah.

401. oh!

402. What about that?

403. 'course if dale hadn't made that catch,

404. it would have been a home run.

405. Oh, please.

406. We both know that kurt bevacqua corks his bat.

407. He always has and he always will.

408. peggy, he was usin g an aluminum bat.

409. I didn't say he was smart, hank.

410. I said he was a cheater.

411. tell you what, man, let's play some dang old ball.