King of the Hill 3x23

Directed by Cyndi Tang-Loveland • Cyndi Tang

David Herman as Buckley (voice) • Jennifer Coolidge as Miss Kremzer (voice) • Dawnn Lewis as Sharona Johnson (voice)

While studying for her beauty school exam, Luanne sees someone bouncing on Buckley's old trampoline. It's Buckley, who has come back as an angel. Hank and Peggy think Luanne was hallucinating after using too many hair-dying chemicals, but Hank's friends come to believe in the existence of Buckley's Angel. But Luanne finds that Buckley isn't much more help to her as an angel than he was when he was alive.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Here's $300 cash for my next semester, Miss Kremzer.

2. Count it. It's all there.

3. There's still an incredibly complicated hair dyeing exam coming up, Platter.

4. You've gotta pass that to even qualify for the final semester.

5. I won't let you down, Miss Kremzer.

6. Yeah, sure.

7. Look, it's Luanne.

8. It sure has been a hard year for you, Luanne,

9. with your boyfriend blowing up, and losing all your hair,

10. and being on academic probation.

11. But, you know, if you pass this last exam, it'll turn everything around.

12. Sad, very sad.

13. What is Kahn thinking?

14. He bought the best trampoline of Buckley's estate,

15. and he's letting it go to pot.

16. Maybe we ought to talk to Kahn.

17. This is a fix-it opportunity that only happens in the movies.

18. I know what we could do.

19. Bill, remember when we got you to brush your teeth

20. - by saying you didn't know how? - Yeah.

21. Reverse psychology. That'll never work.

22. - Yes, it will. - Got you.

23. I just took a test last semester...

24. and now I've got another test. It's not fair!

25. How often in real life are you tested?

26. Yeah. Okay then.

27. The girls at Beauty Academy are so mean.

28. - They are mean! - You made your point, Bill.

29. If you guys are here, who's guarding trash cans in alley?

30. Say, Kahn, we were just thinking--

31. We don't want to fix your trampoline.

32. - I do. - Bill!

33. - What? - Dale!

34. Now I get it.

35. You rednecks want to fix my trampoline.

36. But what's in it for me?

37. - You mow my lawn for two months. - All right.

38. Played him like a damn fiddle.

39. Excellent, Sharona!

40. If I didn't know that tail was attached to a horse's rear end,

41. - I'd swear it was Cher's. - Thank you, Miss Kremzer.

42. Very good. Excellent highlights.

43. Luanne Platter.

44. It's not fair. My customer kept swatting flies.

45. Step away from the horse.

46. Cher's hair's thick anyhow.

47. I am, too, going to pass that test.

48. Whip out those plans. Let's go!

49. I've taken the liberty of drawing up some schematics.

50. Now, here's the trampoline that is.

51. And here is the trampoline that could be.

52. I can see that.

53. I'm on it.

54. Luanne, you look pretty today. Right, guys?

55. - Man. - Yeah.

56. - Very pretty. - Red eyes, they look pretty.

57. Buckley.

58. This was Buckley's trampoline.

59. It was his favorite one.

60. He named it "Number One."

61. All right. Where were we?

62. Some people say it's too bad Buckley's dead.

63. But I say this trampoline sure is gonna be beautiful.

64. - Yup. Good night. - Night, Hank.

65. - See you. - Night, Boomhauer.-

66. - Good night. - Bill.

67. Who are you?

68. What are you doing?

69. - What? - Chicken butt.

70. - Buckley! - Hey.

71. Psych.

72. What happened to you being dead?

73. Are you an angel?

74. "Buckley's angel."

75. Don't wear it out.

76. You are an angel.

77. Unless you're just a hallucinogen of my mind.

78. If you're really Buckley's angel,

79. then tell me something only the real Buckley would know.

80. You have a birthmark on your butt the shape of a Honda key.

81. You are a real angel!

82. Luanne, you look positively radiant this morning.

83. You're not pregnant, are you? Disregard.

84. All right! Sausage.

85. All right! Sausage.

86. I have an announcement to make.

87. Last night I had a religious experience.

88. Ix-nay, ix-nay, obby-bay too-yay oung-yay.

89. Last night I was visited by an angel.

90. - Buckley's angel. - Cool!

91. He was on the trampoline, and he said to tell y'all, "Hey."

92. I think someone's been studying a little too hard

93. for her beauty school test.

94. Probably Sharona Johnson.

95. She's always studying. It's not fair.

96. Anyways, Buckley's angel and me jumped some and then...

97. Mostly we just jumped,

98. but I feel better just knowing he's okay.

99. An angel. All right.

100. She is giving me the heebiest of jeebies.

101. The angel part, sure.

102. But the whole not-crying thing, I like that.

103. I like that a lot.

104. I told her, "Use proper ventilation around those hair chemicals."

105. She's probably just stressed out, Peggy.

106. But if this helps her, let her think whatever she wants.

107. She sees Buckley's angel.

108. Nolan Ryan saw his arm as a rocket launcher.

109. And the catcher's mitt as Saddam Hussein.

110. Don't mess with a good thing, Peggy. Just be cool.

111. I'm cool.

112. So, Luanne,

113. this angel certainly seems to have made you happy.

114. Yes. I think that it's a sign that God is going to--

115. Sure, right. God.

116. I'll bet God sent you this guardian angel,

117. this stand-on-your-own-two-feet angel.

118. And if you have a problem from now on, you don't have to cry

119. because Buckley's angel will help you through your tests

120. or maybe find an apartment or whatever...

121. - My guardian angel. - Yup.

122. Find an apartment.

123. Red alert.

124. Hey, Boomhauer, and Mr. Dauterive, and Mr. Gribble.

125. What in the name of hell was that?

126. Luanne claims she saw Buckley's angel last night on the trampoline.

127. I convinced her it was her guardian angel, and now she's on an even keel.

128. I should have thought of this years ago.

129. It's like she has a boyfriend I never have to meet.

130. Look, it's Luanne walking her book.

131. I'm not walking my book. I'm waiting for my guardian angel.

132. Buckley has come back from the dead to bounce on his trampoline

133. and help me with my exam.

134. Do you hear yourself? You're crazy.

135. I don't have to hear myself. Buckley's angel hears myself.

136. You're gonna fail the hair dye test and flunk out of beauty school

137. and have to work at the mall at the pretzel place.

138. We'll all be famous hairdressers

139. and be on the third floor of the mall working on the people's hair

140. who eat pretzels at the pretzel place.

141. I'll just spit on your pretzels and...

142. No, that's okay.

143. I forgive you because I have a guardian angel now.

144. Buckley's angel,

145. can you please melt Sharona Johnson's face?

146. And help me pass my test?

147. Buckley's angel?

148. Buckley's angel?

149. Okay. Let's get to it. What's this? A note?

150. That's nobody's, Hank. Give it back.

151. "Dear Buckley's angel, bring me a woman. Any woman.

152. "Love, Bill F. Dela T. Dauterive."

153. That's between me and Buckley's angel.

154. There is no Buckley's angel. There was barely a Buckley.

155. That greaseball couldn't find a hammer in the Mega Lo Mart.

156. How could he possibly find you a woman?

157. You have your Gods, and I have mine.

158. Bill, shut up. Dale, lift your end.

159. It's a sign we've been playing God with Buckley's trampoline.

160. Now God is playing God with us, and he's a lot better at it.

161. I refuse to touch this porthole to hell.

162. Look, we got a project going on,

163. and Boomhauer and I are the only sane ones around here.

164. I don't know. You know, had nothing but time in Little Rock, man.

165. Working for hours. Buckley walked up and touched the hood,

166. just touches the hood, man.

167. The dog was healed, man.

168. "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death," I don't take.

169. I am this close to fixing the trampoline myself.

170. No! Don't touch it, or the angel won't come back,

171. and I'll be alone forever.

172. It is a hot one today, huh?

173. So, Minh, have you ever had any religious visions?

174. This about Buckley's angel, Peggy Hill?

175. You know?

176. Not too much happen in this neighborhood.

177. When someone comes back from dead, it gets around.

178. I mean, Luanne is clearly crazy.

179. If it was a true religious vision, why would it come to her?

180. I was home.

181. I mean, I have had my close calls.

182. One time I heard a voice say, "Jesus is love"

183. right in my ear.

184. But then, when I turned off the hair dryer, it was suddenly gone.

185. Amen.

186. Run, Hank!

187. Porthole to hell.

188. Luanne's got everybody going angel-crazy, Peggy.

189. Don't tell me you're hearing "Jesus is love" again.

190. Jesus is love?

191. So, studying for your big hair test?

192. I'm waiting for Buckley's angel. I thought we might do flashcards.

193. Yeah, okay.

194. I'm sure with his help, you'll do just fine.

195. You'll pass the test, and he'll have finished his good deed,

196. and there'll be no need for him to come back to Earth again.

197. And if you do see Buckley's angel again,

198. it'll actually be an evil angel of death.

199. I didn't make up the rules. It's in the Bible.

200. Good luck now.

201. Where is he?

202. Buckley always did this to me.

203. Once, we were supposed to see Color Me Badd, and he never showed up.

204. I was looking forward to that concert all week,

205. and when I told him he just said, "Chicken beak."

206. He had better not be guardianing some other girl.

207. Maybe I should drop out of beauty school, Aunt Peggy.

208. What? Luanne, you have wanted to go to beauty school since you were six.

209. You've wanted to graduate beauty school since you were 12.

210. If you give up on school, honey, you are giving up on your dreams.

211. Education is the sleeping pill that makes dreams happen: Peggy Hill.

212. But school is hard.

213. I should just give up and sell pretzels.

214. Now, you have to reach deep inside yourself

215. and stop depending on your uncle, your boyfriend, or your boyfriend's angel.

216. This time it is all up to you.

217. Buckley's angel helps those who help themselves.

218. I'll do it!

219. - You'll help me, right? - Of course.

220. I don't know why you didn't come, Buckley's angel.

221. If this is some kind of test, I have to take a makeup test,

222. because I have a makeup and a hair test this morning.

223. Hey.

224. You finally showed up. Thank you, Buckley's angel.

225. - You're gonna fail the test. - What?

226. Yeah. I have a message from Jesus.

227. About how you suck at beauty school, except worded nicer. Here.

228. "Luanne, you really suck at beauty school.

229. Drop out. Love, Jesus."

230. He underlined "really." I guess it wasn't nicer.

231. I thought angels were supposed to be good.

232. You're a terrible angel, Buckley. I wish you'd never died.

233. Jesus said it, not me.

234. You are mean. Just like when you were my boyfriend.

235. But I have faith in me.

236. And I am not gonna be trailer trash.

237. I'm gonna graduate, and I'm gonna do makeups,

238. and I'm gonna have the biggest truck in Hollywood!

239. Jesus says you're meant for something else. He can't say what.

240. Y'all are wrong. I'm meant for beauty school.

241. Yes!

242. Bail!

243. - Are you all right? - I think I'm okay.

244. I was up all night studying and I was so tired,

245. and I was driving and now I'm...

246. - Do you want to sit down? - Yes, very much.

247. I look terrible. And I have to take a test.

248. - So? - Looks are 10% of the grade.

249. Looks? What class are you taking?

250. I bet it's statistics with Professor Rutledge.

251. - He's such a pig. - No.

252. It's hair-coloring with Miss...

253. Wait. You thought that I was in school with you?

254. In college?

255. Yeah, why not?

256. You sure you're okay?

257. Yeah, 'cause we've got to watch Saturday Night Fever

258. for our American cultures class.

259. Yeah, I'm okay.

260. Good luck on your test.

261. Luanne, where's your guardian angel? Parking the car?

262. All right, let's begin. Gloves on!

263. So, any angel sightings this evening?

264. No, not yet.

265. Now, what's this?

266. It's a letter.

267. "From the desk of Buckley's angel."

268. Let's see here.

269. "Dear Bill, Boomhauer, and Dale,

270. I have been unable to find a woman for Bill,

271. any woman, or a crankshaft from a 1968 Dodge.

272. And the porthole to hell is actually located in Hank's garage

273. near all of his tools,

274. which should be avoided by anyone afraid of the porthole to hell."

275. That's that. Goodbye, Buckley's angel.

276. Goodbye, Buckley's... Hold the phone. Let me see that letter.

277. That's not Buckley's handwriting. Hank.

278. Got to get another dang old shirt, man.

279. Good. Now, I believe we have a trampoline to fix.

280. I guess I could pitch in a little bit.

281. - Guess what? - You aced the exam.

282. I knew it! Congratulations, Luanne.

283. No! Even better, Aunt Peggy!

284. Buckley's angel came back, and then I almost hit a Wiener Wagon,

285. but first, Buckley said Jesus said that I was meant for something else,

286. and I thought Jesus meant something worse.

287. Then I remembered you telling me not to give up on my dreams.

288. And I realized that he meant something better.

289. And I got my tuition refund from Miss Kremzer

290. and enrolled in Arlen Community College

291. just like Jesus said.

292. College? Real college?

293. You are dreaming with the big boys now.

294. This is the happiest day of my life!

295. Luanne, that's great. I mean, wow!

296. You'll be moving into a dorm. All of our dreams have come true.

297. Uncle Hank, with tuition, and books,

298. and back-to-school clothes,

299. I can't afford to move out now.

300. I guess as long as you're in school...

301. bettering yourself and whatnot--

302. Thank you, Uncle Hank.

303. Don't thank me. Hug your Aunt Peggy.

304. I'm going to start out as a liberal artist.

305. I might even go pre-med. It's really the same as...

306. I didn't know there was a Wiener Wagon stopping in Arlen.

307. Obviously not. Or you would have taken me.

308. Hey.

309. Just came back to say I'm sorry I bailed out of the car.

310. - I knew you weren't really a jerk. - Yeah.

311. I gotta go.

312. Jesus is having a party tonight. It's gonna rock.

313. There'll probably be a lot of people there. But if you see Jesus,

314. tell him I said thanks.

315. Goodbye, Buckley.

316. Before I go, can I have one last kiss?

317. No, that part's over.

318. Why?

319. Chicken thigh.

320. New record. Cool.

321. Buckley's angel.

322. I'm so alone.

323. I have to commute to Houston every day. That city one big stinkhole.

324. Did I make the right decision, Buckley's angel?

325. Buckley's angel...

326. why you not come to me instead of that redneck little hot potato?

327. Buckley's angel!

328. Hey.