King of the Hill 3x19

Earl Houston Bullock as Dave (voice) • Jonathan Joss as John Redcorn (voice)

When Hank takes Bobby to the Dallas Cowboys training camp in Wichita Falls, Bobby says he likes Wichita Falls better than Arlen. Fearing that Bobby will leave Arlen when he grows up, Hank decides to make a video to convince the Cowboys to move their training camp to Arlen.

Request examples:

!req King of the Hill 3x19 [02:32]
!req King of the Hill 3x19 [King of the Hill 3x19]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req King of the Hill 3x19 [10-11]; !req King of the Hill 3x19 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Dad, only 2 more inches to wichita falls

2. 2 and a quarter, bobbygood eye, son

3. hey, what's the best way to get to corpus christi?

4. Well, the quickest way is straight down here

5. but the best way is to go through arlen

6. it's one of george bush's communities of excellence

7. arlen, huh? Is that where you're headed?

8. No, sir we're on our way to wichita falls

9. we're gonna see the training camp of the dallas cowboys

10. they used to be in austin till, well, you know

11. but like my dad says, "cowboys will be cowboys"

12. I say that in private, son

13. welcome to wichita falls,

14. training camp of the former world champion dallas cowboys

15. yeah! Way to go, cowboys!

16. Irvin's looking good this year, huh, dad?

17. Yup I'm giving him an "a" minus

18. I'm giving him a "b" plus

19. that gives him some room to improve

20. good idea, son

21. and I'm giving troy aikman a "b" plus, too

22. that's not funny, bobby

23. dad, look

24. they forgot one of their footballs

25. shh

26. follow me

27. sweet jethro pugh!

28. The super bowl has come down to one play fourth down,

29. aikman drops back to pass

30. irvin heads for the goal line

31. that's you, bobby

32. oh, ok

33. troy's under pressure

34. he fires into the end zone

35. and hits michael irvin for a touchdown!

36. dang!

37. Uh, hold on a minute uh, pass interference

38. cowboys retain possession

39. and they run out the clock

40. uh, turns out they were ahead all along

41. the cowboys win the super bowl!

42. the cowboys win the super bowl!

43. The cowboys win the super bowl!

44. well, hooray

45. where are you guys from?

46. Arlen, texas

47. pig town you a pig farmer?

48. Uh, I think you're confused, sir

49. we don't raise pig s in arlen, texas

50. we process them

51. oh, yeah

52. you folks make them tiny breakfast weenies

53. but you're gonna have to leave now

54. wow! Did you just see that, dad?

55. He added an extra move when he gave me the blizzard

56. an extra little twirl

57. they don't do that in arlen

58. wichita falls is the greatest place

59. I have ever been in my life

60. $109

61. what? In arlen, they're 99 cents

62. in arlen, it's not the official blended frozen dairy product

63. of the dallas cowboys training camp

64. ?

65. ? Stampede! Go you dallas cowboys, go?

66. Hey, dad, look

67. ah!

68. well, I'll be dipped

69. excuse me we're looking for the assistant manager

70. jeff, there's some guys out here

71. dang it all, jeff jr,

72. I wasn't finished with my nap

73. hello, there I'm hank hill,

74. and I sell propane and propane accessories, too,

75. in arlen, texas

76. I gotta say, I sure envy you

77. after a hard day's wor k at a job you love,

78. you get to take your son to see the cowboys

79. I am so sick of you south texas pig jockeys coming in here,

80. waking me up to tell me, "how about them cowboys!"

81. arlen stinks and wichita falls rules

82. and you know why?

83. 'cause in 5 minutes, I can be inside the great state of oklahoma

84. go, sooners!

85. What?

86. ?

87. go, sooners!

88. Stop!

89. Go, sooners!

90. Cut it out! Stop it! Stop it now!

91. stampede!

92. Go, sooners! Go!

93. Stampede! Go dallas cowboys, go!

94. Go, sooners! Come on!

95. "magic fingers"

96. ooh, I like magic

97. ? I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want?

98. get off of there, bobby you're not 18

99. this is the coolest be d I have ever seen

100. they don't have beds like this in arlen

101. they certainly do not

102. look what I found in the nightstand

103. what the heck is this?

104. This is the tape that wichita falls made

105. to show how great it is here,

106. and they sent it to the cowboys and that's why they came

107. ? Do you want to watch my tape?

108. wichita falls is really excited about

109. bringing the dallas cowboys to our city

110. this north texas town is a perfect spot

111. for the training camp of the dallas cowboys

112. north texas, my foot!

113. More like south oklahoma

114. well, whatever you call it,

115. I like it more than "pig town"

116. what? Now, you wash your mouth out right now

117. with 2 or 3 of those little soaps

118. phew!

119. I never noticed what a dump this town is before

120. what's that smell?

121. I think I'm gonna throw up

122. ugh

123. it's just a sausage plant

124. that smell means jobs, bobby

125. (man on tv) the state-of-the-art mall

126. is anchored by dillard's and jc penney

127. and our restaurants include both

128. chili's and bennigan's chili's and bennigan's

129. well, bobby sure had a good time on your trip

130. yeah too good

131. now he's down on his hometown

132. all his dreams from now on are gonna be about leaving

133. and then some high-school guidance counselor

134. is gonna tell him to follow his dreams

135. then how will he end up?

136. A fruit pie salesman with a whoopee cushion living in wichita falls

137. hank, it's happening to the best of our young people

138. there is nothing here for them

139. last week, 26th-graders told me

140. they wanted to be astronauts

141. you can't find work as an astronaut in arlen, hank

142. uh-uh not anymore

143. I've been trying to hire some teenagers

144. at strickland for months

145. no one wants to be a tank wipe these days

146. and the problem is, our kids are leaving

147. hank is right

148. if all the childre n leave arlen,

149. there will be no young to take care of our old

150. our old will feed off our very old

151. our very old who are not eaten

152. will wish they had been

153. eaten

154. uh, dale, that's not gonna happen

155. not if we do something about it

156. we are going to keep our young people

157. by bringing the dallas cowboys training camp to arlen

158. I know it's a long shot,

159. but what if we make a movie about arlen

160. and send it to the cowboys?

161. Do you really think we can make a movie, hank?

162. I know we can

163. we used to make movies all the time

164. remember, dale?

165. You practically slept with that little camcorder

166. practically?

167. I was going to be the next zapruder

168. except nobody shot a president after that

169. nobody knew what he was doing

170. sugs, as a professiona I on-air personality,

171. I would be glad to donate my services

172. I've always wanted to branch out

173. from weather to hard infotainment

174. uh-huh, and every good movie starts with—with what?

175. A good script

176. yeah, pass the salt, please

177. hey, peggy, you're a writer

178. you could writ e the script

179. me? Well, all right

180. I will do it for the children of arlen

181. and I will be the president of the movie

182. tell you what, man all you need is get

183. one of them dang old narrators, man

184. just like the movie trailer guys, man

185. like, "in a world where love is against the law"

186. you know, something like that

187. yeah! Or we could put you in an armadillo suit

188. bill, you'll be in charge of snacks

189. oh, well, this calls for sopapillas

190. all right! Yeah!

191. How about them cowboys!

192. sopapillas for everyone!

193. In wichita falls, this button doesn't stick

194. welcome, jerry jones I'm nancy hicks-gribble,

195. and I'll be your tour guide

196. on a magical journey through arlen, texas,

197. the next training camp sit e of the dallas cowboys

198. sharks may be scary, as is the spearlike marlin,

199. but fear not, jerry, for landlocked arlen is darlin'

200. cut!

201. we're gonna get the cowboys

202. let's not get ahea d of ourselves, dale

203. now, I noticed you were jiggling the camera a bit

204. we really don't need any fancy camera tricks

205. just point and shoot

206. got you consider me a human tripod

207. with an invisible 3rd leg

208. like you cowboys,

209. arlenites are rugged individualists

210. we are do-it-yourselfers, for your information

211. that's d-I-y-f-y-I

212. one more reason arlen is darlin'

213. cut! Ok

214. that was written ok and acted pretty good,

215. but it needs, uh

216. it needs, hmm, let me think about this, uh

217. all right, let's do it again,

218. maybe a little better this time

219. I don't care what hank says, sug'

220. I think your scrip t is just wonderful

221. well, thank you, nancy

222. I got that rhyming idea from charles kuralt

223. or was it charles osgood?

224. Wait which one was the one

225. with the mistress and the winnebago?

226. Oh, they all fool around, sug'

227. anyway, your script is brilliant

228. I wouldn't change a word

229. well, now that you mention it,

230. you did change one teeny little word

231. really? Did I?

232. Yes you said "arlenites" instead of "arlenians"

233. oh, that's the channel 84 preferred term

234. for residents of arlen

235. well, technically, residents of arlen are called arlenians

236. as a substitute educator, I would know that

237. well, you're the writer, sug'

238. I'm just the professional television personality

239. like you cowboys, arlenites

240. I'm duct-tapin g your zoom

241. oh!

242. hey, man, old heat rash, man

243. uh, dang old hot

244. not happy, you know what I mean?

245. Boomhauer, we'll get to you tomorrow, I promise

246. yeah, man, talk about your dang old hurry up and wait, man

247. thanks, man

248. gosh! I don't know who's sweating more,

249. me or the cheese

250. you look tired, dad

251. I guess it's hard to get enough rest

252. when you're presidenting a film

253. yup

254. see, I'm gonna do a big shot from up here

255. do you really think the cowboys would move to arlen?

256. I sure do, son imagine what it'll be like

257. we'll go to ge t autographs

258. and troy aikman will toss the ball around with you

259. I wish I could have ha d "dandy" don meredith

260. or roger staubach throwing me passes when I was your age

261. even craig morton would have been all right

262. I love you, bobby

263. what?

264. Ah, nothing hey, look at that bird

265. dale, stop putting your bug truck

266. in the background of all the shots

267. what kind of message are we sending?

268. Arlen is full of bugs?

269. You think that's all I do?

270. I killed 8 gophers last year

271. and a purebred tennessee walking horse

272. that was looking at me funny

273. did you know that that prima donna

274. had the gall to sugges t changing my slogan

275. from "arlen is darlin'

276. to "where super bowls are born"

277. where super bowls are born

278. huh where is nancy, anyway?

279. Well, Miss priss is poutin g in her trailer

280. she won't do my snake scene

281. ? [music playing on car stereo]

282. thank god you're here, john redcorn!

283. Nancy won't come out of the bug-abago

284. nancy has a headache and requires treatment

285. I will need about an hour

286. and a bottle of asti spumante

287. I'll get it

288. that's it

289. you have pampered that woman long enough

290. put me on camera right this second

291. come on, come on the snakes and I are ready to go

292. uh, maybe we should give john redcorn

293. a few more minutes

294. do you know what that is?

295. no

296. Let me tell you

297. that is the sound of arlen's future

298. going right down the toilet

299. ? and do you know whose butt is on that seat

300. well, it's yours, hank it's your butt

301. dale, get the camera

302. ok, we're rolling now, just try to relax

303. and remember, all the cowboys will be watching you

304. it's feeding time here

305. at the world-famous arlen snake farm

306. you cowboys have a lot in common

307. with these hungry vipers

308. r they devour rodents just the way you devou

309. opponents

310. time out

311. uh, that was, uh

312. uh, oh!

313. Look, here's nancy now

314. uh, nancy, peggy was just, uh, standing in for you

315. now, honey, if you'll just, uh , step aside

316. nancy, why don't we do this one

317. with your new slogan,

318. "where super bowls are born"

319. oh, I'll say my slogan, sug',

320. but I'm not touching that little mouse

321. oh, ho, ho, ho ! Yes, you are

322. hey, hey, hey, man! Get him off! Get him off—

323. get off my cheese!

324. cut!

325. Bobby, help me save the cheese!

326. cut!

327. cut it out!

328. ] [screaming

329. I quit!

330. Peggy, if you've ever loved the cowboys,

331. apologize to her

332. she said "arlenite" it's "arlenian"

333. arlenian arlenian

334. either I get an apolog y or guess what?

335. I quit

336. well, you just quit, sug'

337. then I quit!

338. If peggy quits , I quit

339. oh, man! Dang old, man! I quit

340. hank, you have bullyragged this production

341. and stifled my creativity from day one

342. it is now day 2 I quit!

343. what about the cowboys?

344. The cowboys!

345. It's ok, dad

346. we were crazy to try and compete with wichita falls

347. I'll do this on my own

348. hello, jerry jones I'm hank hill

349. I'll be your quarterback

350. on a game-winning drive through arlen, texas,

351. the next training camp site of the dallas cowboys

352. I'm standing here

353. at the 50-yard line of tut rampy field,

354. the future site of the dallas cowboys training camp

355. you see? You're just a dot at this distance

356. yeah, so edit it bigger

357. that's why I'm here

358. hank, I'm the best uhf editor in texas

359. but I can't work miracles

360. you've got no master shot,

361. you've crossed the action axis,

362. the sound's horrible

363. I guess that was all my responsibility as president

364. all I wanted to do was get my son

365. to love this town as much as I do

366. where did I go wrong, tom? Where?

367. Dad's talking to the tom landry plate again

368. hello, nancy? It's peggy

369. I would like to apologize to you,

370. one arlenite to another

371. no, I was the one who said "arlenian"

372. that's why this is an apology

373. all right let- let's just agree to disagree

374. now, I'm gonna need to borrow your home movies

375. dave, I hear you're the best television editor in all of texas

376. uhf

377. the reason I've called you all here

378. is to show you a video which we will be sending

379. to the dallas cowboys tomorrow morning

380. it was made over the years by each and every one of us

381. ?

382. and that's after havin g 2 chickens!

383. Boy, was I drunk!

384. look how smooth my bottom was!

385. bobby!

386. aw!

387. you know, I made that barbecue out of 2 old barbecues

388. ? We're gonna get the cowboys?

389. ? We're gonna get the cowboys?

390. Hey, dad

391. hello, bobby

392. well, the cowboys thanked us for the video,

393. but they have no plans to move to arlen

394. in the near future

395. and they've sent us a little rubber football

396. so, uh, I guess this means you're gonna leave us

397. when you grow up, huh?

398. Yeah, I'll probably leave, but it's not for a while, dad

399. I'm only 12

400. we've still got plenty of time together

401. yeah and even after you move,

402. wichita falls is only a 6-hour drive

403. but I can't be a prop comi c in wichita falls

404. I'm moving to new york city or hollywood

405. maybe vegas

406. well, at least it's not wichita falls

407. well, I may keep a place there for tax purposes

408. hey, you wanna try the little football?

409. All right

410. hike it to me and go out for a pass

411. how about you hike the ball

412. and go out for the pass?

413. The crowd is going wild

414. roger staubach goes back to pass

415. roger's in trouble he scrambles

416. roger the dodger gets away

417. he throws into the end zone

418. it's complete to my dad, hank hill!

419. Touchdown!

420. ! The cowboys wi n the super bowl

421. ! the cowboys wi n the super bowl

422. ! the cowboys wi n the super bowl

423. ? Go!

424. ? Go! Dallas! Cowboys!

425. ? It's the gold team of the senior pros?

426. ? Let the whole world hear our bugles blow?

427. ? Stand up!

428. ? Stampede?

429. ? Go you dallas cowboys?

430. ? Go!

431. sweet jethro pugh!