King of the Hill 3x14

Directed by

Matthew McConaughey as Rad Thibodeaux (voice)

Angry that Luanne cost him his job house-sitting Boomhauer's house, Bobby replaces her birth control pills with candy.

Request examples:

!req King of the Hill 3x14 [02:32]
!req King of the Hill 3x14 [King of the Hill 3x14]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req King of the Hill 3x14 [10-11]; !req King of the Hill 3x14 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. SO, MEETING A WOMAN ON THE INTERNET.

2. HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?

3. NOW, I'LL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING

4. WHILE YOU'RE AWAY.

5. I EVEN MADE A TAPE

6. OF ALL OF YOUR PLANTS' FAVORITE SONGS.

7. OH, BILL, PEGGY AND I WERE THINKING

8. BOBBY COULD TAKE CARE OF BOOMHAUER'S HOUSE

9. WHILE HE'S GONE.

10. I SEE.

11. BOBBY'S A GOOD KID,

12. BUT, UH, YOU LOOKED AT HIS ROOM LATELY?

13. SO WHAT DO YOU SAY?

14. IT'LL BE GOOD FOR THE BOY,

15. TEACH HIM SOME RESPONSIBILITY.

16. MAN, WHATEVER. YOU KNOW,

17. THERE'S LOTS TO DO, MAN, WATER THEM BONSAI,

18. FEED THE KOI.

19. JUST THINK, BILL,

20. THIS'LL FREE YOU UP FOR NEW CHALLENGES.

21. LIKE WHAT?

22. SO IF WE COULD HAVE THE KEYS...

23. OOPS.

24. HERE.

25. YOU KNOW, I'M NOT REALLY HERE FOR A FREE HAIRCUT.

26. I'M HERE 'CAUSE I LIKE TO CHECK UP ON WHAT'S HAPPENIN',

27. WHAT'S GOIN' ON, WHAT'S NOW.

28. I GOTTA TELL YOU, BABY DOLL, YOU'RE VERY NOW.

29. THANK YOU.

30. YOU'RE WELCOME.

31. THE NAME IS RAD THIBODEAUX-S.

32. HERE'S MY CARD, YOU KNOW, SO YOU KNOW I'M FOR REAL.

33. "RADICAL CONCEPTS."

34. THAT SOUNDS EXCITING.

35. WELL, ONLY IF YOU THINK THE FAST-PACED, CELEBRITY-FILLED LIFE

36. OF A CONCERT PROMOTER IS EXCITING.

37. OH.

38. AND YOUR NAME IS RAD?

39. HOW CLEVER!

40. YOU KNOW, I'VE NOTICED

41. THAT, UH, WE'VE BEEN TALKIN' A LOT ABOUT RAD

42. AND NOT TOO MUCH ABOUT MISS SWEET LUANNE.

43. OH, ME, TOO.

44. TELL ME SOMETHIN'.

45. YOU GOT A LOVER?

46. YEAH, I DON'T EVEN HAVE A BOYFRIEND.

47. MY LAST ONE, BUCKLEY,

48. BLEW UP IN A PROPANE EXPLOSION.

49. YOU KNOW, I CAN TELL YOU'RE A VERY SENSITIVE YOUNG WOMAN.

50. AND SENSITIVE PEOPLE, THEY DO HAVE A HARD TIME

51. IN OUR SOCIETY TODAY.

52. I MEAN, I SHOULD KNOW. AS A SELF-PROCLAIMED GENIUS,

53. I MYSELF, RAD THIBODEAUX-S, AM OFTEN MISUNDERSTOOD.

54. SELF-PROCLAIMED GENIUS?

55. YES.

56. YOU POOR THING!

57. OH, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

58. DAMN, THAT'S A FINE JOB, BABY!

59. THAT'S SUCH A FINE JOB, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO?

60. I'M GONNA ASK YOU OUT.

61. YOU DON'T KNOW IT YET, BUT YOU'RE GONNA SAY YES.

62. HE'S RIGHT!

63. I'M TRUSTING YOU WITH BOOMHAUER'S KEYS, BOBBY.

64. NOW REMEMBER, IT DOESN'T JUST UNLOCK THE FRONT DOOR.

65. IT UNLOCKS A NEW PHASE IN YOUR LIFE

66. AS A RESPONSIBLE ADULT.

67. WHY IS MR. DAUTERIVE LOOKING AT US LIKE THAT?

68. HE'S PROUD OF YOU, TOO, BOBBY.

69. HELLO, MAN, AND YOU DANG OLD LEAVE A MESSAGE, MAN.

70. I'M BUSY RIGHT NOW. JUST LEAVE A NAME, NUMBER, DATE,

71. AND NO DANG OLD NO LISTENIN' OR NOTHING LIKE THAT.

72. BOOMHAUER, PICK UP.

73. BOOMHAUER, PICK UP.

74. PICK UP, BOOMHAUER.

75. PICK... OH, RIGHT, YOU'RE AWAY.

76. HEY, GOOD LOOKIN'.

77. HEY.

78. BOBBY, THIS IS MY NEW FRIEND, RAD.

79. THAT'S WHAT HIS LICENSE PLATE SAYS.

80. YOU SEE, IN THE INDUSTRY,

81. A MAN IS ONLY AS GOOD AS HIS WORD. SO KEEP IT.

82. YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY'S GONNA KNOW THAT YOU ARE A MAN

83. WHO KEEPS HIS WORD.

84. YOU BREAK IT...

85. OH, GOD!

86. MAN, I'M TELLING YOU, THE FREEBIES,

87. THEY DRY UP LIKE A PUDDLE IN THE SUN.

88. WHOA!

89. RAD, WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY "THE INDUSTRY"?

90. THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY.

91. WHOA!

92. THERE YOU GO.

93. DAD, I WOULD LIKE YOU

94. TO MEET A NEW FRIEND OF MINE AND LUANNE'S.

95. HEY, THERE, PARTNER. THE NAME'S RAD THIBODEAUX-S.

96. PLEASED TO MEET YOU.

97. HERE YOU GO, BUSINESSMAN TO BUSINESSMAN.

98. ISN'T THAT PRONOUNCED THIBODEAUX?

99. WELL, YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES, BY MISTAKE.

100. BUT NO DAMAGE DONE.

101. LUANNE HAS TOLD ME ABOUT YOU.

102. SO I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THESE FREE C.D.s.

103. A.O.L.?

104. MMM-HMM, AND GUESS WHAT?

105. YOU SIGN UP RIGHT NOW, I GET 10 FREE HOURS.

106. ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS TELL THEM

107. THAT "SOOORAD@AOL.COM" SENT YOU.

108. HEY, MOM, DAD. GOT IT GOIN' ON?

109. I GOT WHAT? DOING WHAT?

110. BOBBY, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR SLEEVES?

111. WELL, THIS IS HOW RAD SLEEVES HIMSELF.

112. IT'S THE INDUSTRY.

113. YOU KNOW, I DON'T MUCH CARE FOR THAT RAD FELLOW.

114. RAD THIBODEAUX IS A SELF-PROCLAIMED GENIUS.

115. I'M GONNA MAKE YOU A SANDWICH, SWEET LUANNE.

116. WHAT KIND YOU WANT?

117. I'D LIKE A...

118. UM,

119. I DON'T KNOW.

120. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WHAT'S WRONG, BABY DOLL?

121. NOTHIN'.

122. UH, IT'S JUST...

123. WELL,

124. I DIDN'T EVER GET TO GO ANYWHERE THIS FANCY WITH BUCKLEY.

125. UM, EXCEPT HIS FUNERAL RECEPTION.

126. OH, THERE, THERE, SWEETNESS.

127. IT'S DIFFERENT NOW. RAD'S HERE, BABY.

128. RAD'S HERE.

129. SAY MY NAME.

130. RAD.

131. SAY, HEY, JAY! GOT IT GOIN' ON?

132. OOPS!

133. CAREFUL, BOBBY. YOU COULD HAVE WET RAD.

134. OH, RAD'S COOL WITH THAT. AREN'T YOU, RAD?

135. UM, RAD, I WAS SPEAKING TO YOU.

136. BOBBY, LISTEN, I KNOW YOU WANT MY ATTENTION,

137. AND THAT'S NOTHING I CAN'T HANDLE,

138. BUT AT THE MOMENT I AM BUSY WITH THE LADY.

139. YOU CAN SEE LUANNE ANYTIME.

140. BUT I HAVE SCHOOL AND STUFF TO DO.

141. I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF BOOMHAUER'S HOUSE WHILE HE'S AWAY.

142. MMM-HMM.

143. HOW LONG IS, UH, HE AWAY FOR?

144. PLEASED TO SEE YOU.

145. ENJOY THE MUSIC, GAL, AND THE FREE FOOD.

146. I'LL GO PUT THIS ON THE BED.

147. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, YOU BETTER NOT DO THAT NOW.

148. JEREMY'S IN THERE.

149. HE IS BUSY,

150. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

151. IN THE MEANTIME, YOU KNOW, I AM FEELING KIND OF THIRSTY.

152. MY BEVERAGE IS ON THE SOUTH END OF THE LEVEE.

153. DO YOU KNOW WHERE BOOMHAUER KEEPS HIS SPARE STASH?

154. I'LL GET HIS NUMBER FROM BOBBY.

155. WE CAN CALL HIM AND ASK HIM.

156. LISTEN TO YOU.

157. HEY, DOES BOOMHAUER KNOW ABOUT THIS PARTY?

158. UH, DOES HE NEED TO?

159. YES.

160. WHY?

161. THIS ISN'T FAIR. I AM NOT A SELF-PROCLAIMED GENIUS,

162. SO I DON'T ALWAYS HAVE AS GOOD AN ANSWER AS YOU DO.

163. WAIT. WAIT, I KNOW WHY.

164. BECAUSE YOU SHOULD TELL PEOPLE

165. IF YOU'RE GONNA THROW A PARTY IN THEIR HOUSE WITHOUT ASKIN' THEM.

166. AND THE RAD I FELL IN LOVE WITH OUGHT TO KNOW THAT.

167. COME ON, MAKE EVERYONE LEAVE.

168. COME ON, NOW, LUANNE.

169. YOU DON'T WANNA MAKE ME AND MR. BOOMHAUSER

170. LOOK LIKE BAD HOSTS, DO YOU?

171. THAT'S IT, RAD THIBODEAUX!

172. I AM NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND ANYMORE!

173. WAIT A MINUTE NOW. I NEVER PROCLAIMED YOU

174. TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND, BABY DOLL.

175. WELCOME, BUDDY.

176. ENJOY THE MUSIC AND THE FREE FOOD.

177. I WILL NOT!

178. HEY!

179. YOU GET OUT OF HERE. YOU, TOO.

180. AND YOU, TOO. THIS IS A SMOKE-FREE HOUSE!

181. THE ONLY THING HOTTER THAN THIS TUB

182. IS YOU TWO LADIES.

183. OH-OH.

184. DAD, I'M IN MY UNDERPANTS.

185. YEAH, THAT WAS YOUR DECISION.

186. YOU GOTTA LIVE WITH IT.

187. LOOK AT THIS PLACE.

188. 12 YEARS OLD, AND DRINKING A BEER!

189. I DIDN'T EVEN LIKE IT.

190. NOW YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO GET ME MAD.

191. YOUR FATHER AND I ARE REPLACING YOU AS BOOMHAUER'S HOUSE-SITTER.

192. AND WE'LL BE KEEPING THE $1 A DAY FOR OURSELVES.

193. THAT'S RIGHT. I'M TAKING AWAY YOUR SUITCASE OF PROPS.

194. FINE! I CAN DO MY COMEDY WITHOUT PROPS.

195. SO, YOU EVER NOTICE HOW...

196. HOW...

197. YOU CAN'T TAKE AWAY MY PROPS!

198. BECAUSE OF YOU, I'M PROPLESS.

199. HEY, YOU CAN'T THROW THOSE OUT.

200. THIS C.D. IS ALL I'VE GOT LEFT OF RAD.

201. HE DIDN'T GIVE IT TO YOU, BOBBY.

202. HE GAVE IT TO ME.

203. YOU WERE NEVER EVEN PART OF HIS INNER CIRCLE.

204. YOU WERE JUST A HANGER-ON.

205. TAKE THAT BACK!

206. LIKE A.J.

207. STATE YOUR PURPOSE.

208. MR. GRIBBLE, I'M HAVING A PROBLEM WITH LUANNE.

209. DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT GETTING EVEN WITH PEOPLE

210. WHO'VE DONE SOMETHING BAD TO YOU?

211. UH, NO, BOBBY, NOTHING AT ALL.

212. OH.

213. BOBBY!

214. JUST GARDENING.

215. CUT IT OUT, BOBBY. NO ONE'S LAUGHING.

216. I DIDN'T DO IT!

217. BOBBY, WE JUST SAW YOU SPIT DIRT ALL OVER...

218. WHY WOULD I PUT DIRT IN MY OWN FRUIT PIE?

219. MY OWN FRUIT PIE!

220. WHY YOU DO A LOT OF THINGS IS A MYSTERY TO ME.

221. SEE YOU LATER, AUNT PEGGY.

222. IF I FIND OUT THAT THIS WAS YOU

223. AND NOT A LAUNDRY ACCIDENT,

224. I'M GOING TO BE REALLY MAD.

225. HUH?

226. HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?

227. PEGGY, PEGGY, COME IN HERE.

228. OH!

229. WELL, THAT'S ME.

230. A CAMERA IN THE BEDROOM. THIS IS KIND OF FUN.

231. THIS IS HANK HILL WITH THE NEWS.

232. HANK, YOU ARE TERRIBLE.

233. YOU'RE GETTING TO BE A HANDFUL, BOBBY,

234. AND NOBODY LIKES A HANDFUL.

235. AHA.

236. MMM.

237. SWEET TARTS.

238. OH, IF THIS IS WRONG, I DON'T WANNA BE RIGHT.

239. COULDN'T HELP HEARING THE BUBBLES.

240. MIND IF I JOIN?

241. OH, DEAR LORD!

242. GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, DALE.

243. NO!

244. NO!

245. OH, NO!

246. IS ANYTHING THE MATTER, LUANNE?

247. MY BIRTH CONTROL PILLS HAVE STOPPED WORKING.

248. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN WHEN THEY STARTED TASTING SWEET.

249. LIKE CANDY?

250. THIS ISN'T FUNNY, BOBBY.

251. OH, I DISAGREE.

252. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

253. EVERY WOMAN HAS TO TAKE A BIRTH CONTROL PILL EVERY DAY

254. OR ELSE THEY GET PREGNANT.

255. JUST TAKE 2 NOW. HURRY!

256. THAT WOULD DESTROY MY INSIDES.

257. THAT'S HOW IT WORKS.

258. TAKE 'EM!

259. THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO TEACH DALE THE MEANING OF NO.

260. MOM, DAD, I'VE GOTTEN LUANNE PREGNANT!

261. LUANNE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE SMARTER THAN THIS.

262. I DID.

263. CAN YOU IMAGINE THE CONSEQUENCES

264. IF YOU HAD TAKEN ONE OF THOSE FAKE PILLS

265. AND GONE OUT AND HAD UNPROTECTED...

266. NO!

267. I ONLY GOT THE PILL TO CLEAR UP MY COMPLEXION AND REGULATE MY...

268. NO!

269. BOBBY'S THE ONE WHO MESSED WITH MY MEDICINE.

270. YOU MESSED WITH HIS FRUIT PIES.

271. AFTER THAT, HE HAD NOTHING TO LOSE.

272. I'LL GO TELL HIM THE TRUTH RIGHT AWAY.

273. NO, NOT SO FAST.

274. BOBBY HAS TO LEARN

275. THAT WHAT HE DID WAS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE.

276. NOW, AS FAR AS HE KNOWS, YOU ARE STILL EXPECTING.

277. YOU WANT ME TO LIE?

278. WELL, DECEIVING SOMEBODY IS NEVER GOOD,

279. BUT IN ORDER TO TEACH BOBBY

280. THE MEANING OF RESPONSIBILITY...

281. I'LL DO IT!

282. SO, HOW'S IT GOING THERE, SPORT?

283. NOT SO GOOD.

284. PRETTY BIG SCREW-UP, HUH?

285. I FEEL BAD ABOUT IT, DAD.

286. WELL, HECK, WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES.

287. THE POINT IS YOU CAN MAKE UP FOR 'EM.

288. REALLY? HOW?

289. BY DOING THE RIGHT THING, OF COURSE.

290. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO MARRY LUANNE.

291. BUT I'M ONLY 12 YEARS OLD.

292. WELL, JUST THINK,

293. YOU COULD BE MARRIED FOR 80 YEARS.

294. DAD, YOU CAN'T MAKE ME MARRY LUANNE!

295. YES, I CAN, BOBBY. YOU'RE ONLY 12 YEARS OLD.

296. PLEASE, DAD,

297. I DON'T WANT TO MARRY LUANNE.

298. WELL, IT'S A LITTLE LATE FOR THAT.

299. YOU DIDN'T TAKE CARE OF BOOMHAUER'S,

300. YOU DRANK BEER, YOU MESSED WITH LUANNE'S LADY PILLS.

301. I ASK YOU, IS THAT RESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR?

302. NO.

303. WELL, THEN HAVING TO MARRY LUANNE

304. WILL BE A GOOD LESSON FOR YOU.

305. LUANNE, I KNOW WE'VE HAD OUR DIFFERENCES,

306. BUT I WAS KIND OF HOPING

307. WE COULD MAKE UP AND NOT GET MARRIED.

308. UNCLE HANK, BOBBY'S TRYING TO GET OUT OF MARRYING ME!

309. BOBBY, YOU CUT THAT OUT.

310. YOU BARELY TOUCHED THAT SUNDAE, BOBBY.

311. I'M NOT REALLY HUNGRY.

312. COME ON. WHAT KIND OF BACHELOR PARTY IS THIS?

313. BETTER LIVE IT UP ALL YOU CAN

314. BEFORE THE WIFE IS AFTER YOU

315. TO WATCH THE WAISTLINE.

316. YEAH.

317. YUP, THIS IS THE LAST FREE NIGHT OF YOUR LIFE.

318. TO MR. AND MRS. BOBBY HILL.

319. MAY THEIR MARRIAGE BE EVERY BIT AS WONDERFUL AS MINE IS.

320. AND AS MINE WAS.

321. BOBBY, I'VE GOTTA DO MY HOMEWORK.

322. HOMEWORK. HUH.

323. YOU GO ON AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK.

324. JUST LET ME WATCH YOU FOR A LITTLE WHILE.

325. OH, MY LITTLE MAN, I BROUGHT THIS FOR YOU.

326. MOM, MOM, I DON'T WANNA DO THIS.

327. WELL, OF COURSE YOU DON'T.

328. COME, MY CHILD.

329. MINH, MINH, IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING.

330. BOBBY HILL-BILLY IS MARRYING HILLBILLY COUSIN.

331. YOU OWE ME $5. IN YOUR FACE!

332. BOBBY, DO YOU TAKE LUANNE TO BE YOUR LAWFUL WEDDED WIFE,

333. TO HAVE AND TO HOLD,

334. TO LOVE AND TO CHERISH, TILL DEATH DO YOU PART?

335. THAT SOUNDS LIKE A YES TO ME.

336. ALL RIGHT. LUANNE, DO YOU TAKE BOBBY

337. TO BE YOUR LAWFUL WEDDED HUSBAND?

338. I DO.

339. I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU MAN AND WIFE.

340. OOH, BOBBY!

341. OH, NO.

342. I... I THINK I NEED TO LIE DOWN.

343. OOH, CAN I TELL HIM NOW?

344. CAN I TELL HIM HOW WE FOOLED HIM?

345. OH, LUANNE, I AM REALLY, REALLY, SORRY ABOUT THIS, HONEY,

346. BUT I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS.

347. IT TURNS OUT THAT BILL IS ACTUALLY A LICENSED MINISTER.

348. YOU MEAN I'M REALLY MARRIED TO BOBBY?

349. LEGALLY, YES.

350. THEN I'LL GET A DIVORCE, THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO.

351. I'LL SAY HE HIT ME.

352. I GUESS YOU COULD DO THAT.

353. BUT THE LAW IS YOU HAVE TO WAIT A YEAR.

354. THAT'S TO GIVE YOU TIME TO PATCH THINGS UP.

355. NO!

356. PLEASE, LUANNE,

357. I... I DON'T THINK I'M READY FOR THIS YET.

358. LOOK, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DEAL

359. WITH THIS BEING MARRIED THING.

360. SO THE SOONER WE MAKE THE RULES, THE BETTER.

361. I GET TO DATE AS MUCH AS I WANT WITH WHOEVER I WANT.

362. YOU CAN SEE CONNIE IF YOU WANT TO, BUT JUST NOT IN PUBLIC.

363. MMM, NO, I CHANGED MY MIND.

364. YOU CAN'T SEE CONNIE EVER.

365. LOOK AT THE HAPPY NEWLYWEDS!

366. HOW COME THEY GET TO BE MARRIED WHEN I NEVER DO?

367. WHY DO THEY GET TO BE SO HAPPY?

368. IT'S NOT FAIR. IT'S NOT FAIR.

369. IT'S A FAKE!

370. IT'S... IT'S ALL A FAKE! I'M NOT A MINISTER!

371. DALE USED A SELF-PLAYING PIANO!

372. IT'S ALL A GREAT...

373. IT'S A GREAT BIG FAKE, IS WHAT IT IS!

374. THAT SURE WAS SOME GOOD PARENTING.

375. I DON'T THINK THE EXPERTS WOULD DISAGREE.

376. MR. DAUTERIVE SAYS BOBBY AND I AREN'T REALLY MARRIED!

377. I'M STILL KEEPING THOSE PLACE MATS HE GAVE US.

378. PLACE MATS? THAT'S IT?

379. WHY, HE'S ONE OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS!

380. YOU WANT SOME MILK WITH THAT?

381. I DO.

382. I'M GLAD WE'RE NOT MARRIED ANYMORE.

383. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

384. I COULD DO A WHOLE LOT WORSE.

385. I'M SORRY FOR THE PRANKS, LUANNE.

386. AND YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T OPEN

387. YOUR LAUNDRY HAMPER VERY QUICKLY

388. UNLESS YOU LIKE SNAKES.

389. THANK YOU.

390. OH, YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO RIDE DOWNHILL ON YOUR BIKE.

391. SOMETHING MIGHT BE WRONG WITH THE BRAKE CABLE.

392. OH, DON'T USE YOUR MOUTHWASH

393. AROUND AN OPEN FLAME, ALL RIGHT?

394. I'LL TRY NOT TO.

395. OH, UM,

396. YOU MIGHT WANT TO STOP DRINKING THAT MILK.

397. I DON'T THINK I'M READY FOR THIS YET!