1. MART HAS PROPANE...
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2. PROPANE AT MEGA LO MART?
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3. I GOTTA LET YOU GO.
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4. YOU'RE FIRING ME?
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5. YOU DON'T HAVE TO
TAKE THE TEST NOW.
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6. I GAVE THE JOB TO SOMEBODY ELSE.
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7. HOW YOU DOING, ARLEN?
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8. YOU READY TO SOFT ROCK?
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9. I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU.
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10. HANK!
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11. CHUCK!
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12. BUCKLEY AND LUANNE ARE IN THERE!
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13. OY.
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14. WE MUST BE GETTING OLD, CONNIE.
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15. WE'RE 12, BOBBY. WE ARE OLD.
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16. WE'VE GOT TO FIGURE OUT WHAT
WE'RE GOING TO DO WITH OUR LIVES.
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17. I'M GONNA GO TO COLLEGE
AND STUDY PROP-COMICTRY.
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18. I CAN'T DECIDE BETWEEN BEING
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19. THE OVERUSE OF ANTIBIOTICS.
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20. BE A VIOLINIST.
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21. THAT WAY, I COULD
BE YOUR OPENING ACT,
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22. THE WORLD TOGETHER.
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23. YOUR DAD GOT BLOWN UP.
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24. LET'S BRING IT AROUND!
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25. HANK!
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26. PLEASE. SOMEONE HELP ME. HANK!
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27. MY HUSBAND IS IN THERE.
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28. NOBODY ELSE WOULD HIRE HIM.
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29. WE'RE DOING EVERYTHING
WE CAN, MRS. MANGIONE.
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30. I GOT TWO!
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31. OH, HANK!
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32. YOU'RE ALIVE!
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33. I'M ALL RIGHT, PEGGY.
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34. THERE'S TWO MORE INSIDE.
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35. OH, THANK GOD YOU'RE
OK. I WAS SO WORRIED.
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36. OH, AND LUANNE!
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37. OH, MY LORD.
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38. MY HAIR FEELS WEIRD.
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39. I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD.
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40. WHAT ABOUT BUCKLEY?
DID YOU FIND HIM?
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41. I'M SORRY, SIR.
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42. THERE WERE NO OTHER SURVIVORS.
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43. OH, MY GOD!
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44. I'M BALD!
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45. WHAT'S TAKING THEM SO LONG?
WHEN DO I GET TO SEE DAD?
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46. WILL BE OUT SOON, HONEY.
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47. OOPS, BOBBY! THAT IS NOT A MINT.
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48. OH, ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO HOME.
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49. DAD! YOU'RE ALL RIGHT!
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50. IS THERE ANY PERMANENT DAMAGE?
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51. NO DAMAGE, NO SCRATCHES,
NO DENTS, NO DINGS.
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52. BOBBY, WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE GO HIT THE BATTING CAGES?
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53. OK.
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54. OH, HANK, SLOW DOWN.
YOU ALMOST DIED TODAY.
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55. WELL, THAT'S THE GOOD
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56. YOU EITHER DIE OR YOU DON'T.
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57. I DIDN'T, SO LET'S
GO HIT SOME BALLS.
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58. HANK, ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OK?
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59. OH, CAREFUL, EVERYONE.
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60. LUANNE IS GONNA LOOK DIFFERENT.
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61. HYPNOTICALLY GROTESQUE.
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62. BUT DO NOT STARE.
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63. OH! I'M REAL SORRY
ABOUT BUCKLEY, LUANNE,
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64. AND YOUR HAIR.
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65. BOBBY! LUANNE,
HONEY, IT'LL BE FINE.
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66. WITH MAKEUP, AND IT'LL BE FINE.
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67. NO, AUNT PEGGY. I'M NOT GONNA
USE HAIR OR MAKEUPS ANYMORE.
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68. FROM THAT EXPLOSION.
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69. BEAUTY DOESN'T LAST FOREVER.
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70. IT CAN BE BLOWN OFF YOUR HEAD.
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71. OH, HANK, YOU POOR THING.
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72. YOU SHOULDN'T BE STANDING
AFTER YOUR ACCIDENT.
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73. I'M FINE. IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
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74. BUILDINGS EXPLODE.
THAT'S WHAT THEY DO.
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75. ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE?
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76. BILL, YOU'RE IN
FAVOR OF A FLAT TAX.
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77. YOU HAVEN'T SAID
A WORD ABOUT IT.
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78. DID YOU HAPPEN TO SEE BUCKLEY,
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79. OF, ATTEMPTING TO FLEE
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80. THE SCENE OF THE,
QUOTE, ACCIDENT?
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81. DALE, THE BOY IS NO MORE.
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82. OF HIM WAS HIS NAMETAG.
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83. WELL, THAT'S ALL HE
WANTED THEM TO FIND.
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84. CLASSIC COVER-UP.
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85. THAT BOY'S NO DEADER
THAN MOTHER TERESA.
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86. HANK, OLD GIRL, STRICKLAND'S
BACK IN BUSINESS.
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87. PROPANE TOMORROW.
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88. UH, RIGHT, SIR.
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89. I MIGHT BE A LITTLE LATE.
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90. I DON'T KNOW IF I GAVE
MEGA LO MART MY NOTICE.
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91. WHAT? I THINK YOU
GAVE YOUR NOTICE, NITRO.
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92. WITH THAT EXPLOSION,
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93. WHICH HASN'T
AFFECTED ME IN ANY WAY.
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94. HELLO, PEGGY HERE.
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95. HANK, IT'S MR. STRICKLAND.
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96. BUSY. TAKE A MESSAGE.
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97. UH, CAN HE CALL YOU BACK?
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98. WHAT? OH, I SEE.
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99. HANK, WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME
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100. MR. STRICKLAND OFFERED
YOU YOUR JOB BACK?
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101. WELL, IT JUST
HAPPENED YESTERDAY.
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102. HONEY, HE SAYS CUSTOMERS
ARE LINED UP OUT THE DOOR.
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103. PEGGY, I AM IN THE MIDDLE
OF DE-CRUMBING THE TOASTER.
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104. SAVE THE CRUMBS.
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105. LUANNE, HONEY, LOOK.
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106. IT'S 2 OF YOUR OLD
FRIENDS, THE MANGER BABIES.
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107. SOCK PUPPETS ARE FOR BABIES.
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108. IN THE REAL WORLD, BEAUTY FADES
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109. COLD, HORRIBLE DEATH.
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110. SO, YOU'RE NOT GOING BACK
TO BEAUTY SCHOOL THEN?
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111. I'M TIRED OF MAKING
THE WORLD LOOK PRETTY.
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112. WORLD FOR WHAT IT IS.
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113. WITH PHOTOJOURNALISM.
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114. PHOTOJOURNALISM?
WELL, THAT'S SOMETHING.
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115. OF HUNGRY CHILDREN.
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116. WHY IS THE C.N.N.
LOGO IN THE CORNER?
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117. OH!
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118. OF THE T.V., LUANNE.
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119. OH, IT'S NICE TO BE
SMART, AUNT PEGGY.
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120. SMART AND WELL-FED.
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121. FIND THE BODY YET, QUINCY?
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122. THAT WE'RE ANALYZING.
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123. YOU NEEDN'T CONCERN YOURSELF.
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124. OH, I NEEDN'T, SHOULDN'T I?
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125. HAVE A $5,000 INSURANCE POLICY?
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126. THAT'S NONSENSE.
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127. STRAIGHTFORWARD INVESTIGATION.
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128. THAT'S WHAT THEY
WANT YOU TO THINK.
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129. SIR, WE ARE THEY.
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130. HANK, FRIES ARE UP!
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131. HONEY, HOW ARE
THE STEAKS COMING?
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132. UH,
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133. STILL TENDERIZING.
DON'T WANNA RUSH 'EM.
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134. BEJESUS OUT OF THAT BEEF SINCE NOON.
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135. THROW IT ON THE GRILL. LET'S GO.
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136. OH, DANG!
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137. WHA-WHAT'S WRONG?
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138. I LOST THE STEAKS.
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139. HUH?
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140. HMM.
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141. GOBBETS OF MEAT FROM THE SKY.
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142. DOESN'T TASTE LIKE BUCKLEY.
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143. OH, HANK,
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144. BUCKLEY'S WAKE, MANNING THE GRILL.
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145. WHAT? GRILL?
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146. UH, IS IT PROPANE?
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147. OF COURSE IT'S PROPANE,
HANK. THEY'RE NOT UNITARIANS.
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148. WELL, I WOULDN'T FEEL
RIGHT. I BARELY KNEW BUCKLEY.
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149. OR A CLOSE FRIEND.
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150. NOW, WHEN BILL DIES, MAYBE.
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151. OH, HONEY, WHAT A PRETTY
PRETTY OUTFIT FOR A FUNERAL.
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152. NOW, BEFORE WE GO, YOU
MIGHT WANNA OPEN THIS.
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153. BEAUTY ACADEMY DROPPED IT OFF.
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154. "SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS.
YOU HAD BEAUTIFUL HAIR."
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155. THEY'VE MADE ME A WIG.
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156. "WE MADE YOU A WIG."
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157. THEY MADE ME A WIG.
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158. THROW IT OUT.
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159. OK, WELL, YOU JUST GO AHEAD
AND GRIEVE ANY WAY THAT YOU WANT.
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160. REDBOOK SAYS, LOSING A BOYFRIEND
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161. IS THE 4TH MOST PAINFUL LOSS.
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162. GRANDMOTHER AND PENIS.
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163. OH, I'M NOT GRIEVING.
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164. AND I NEVER LOOKED BACK.
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165. THAT'S WHY I STILL
HAVE MY EYEBROWS.
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166. SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT.
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167. A WEEK'S SALARY SAYS
THAT BOX IS EMPTY.
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168. I'M GOING IN.
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169. AH! DIDN'T THINK
I'D SEE YOU HERE.
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170. GUILTY CONSCIENCE, HUH?
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171. GUILTY CONSCIENCE?
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172. THE MEGA LO MART.
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173. OH, GOOD. I'M GLAD
YOU SAID THAT.
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174. HANK, I'M WEARING A WIRE
FOR AN UNRELATED MATTER.
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175. SO, WHEN CAN I EXPECT YOU BACK?
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176. UH,
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177. PERIOD OF GRIEVING, SIR.
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178. PRACTICALLY A SON TO ME.
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179. THIS IS DEPRESSING. YOU
WANNA GO PLAY IN THE CEMETERY?
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180. OK.
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181. GREAT LOSS AND A SAD OCCASION.
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182. AND SAY A FEW WORDS ABOUT BUCKLEY?
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183. I GUESS Y'ALL EXPECT
ME TO CRY FOR BUCKLEY.
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184. BUT I AM NOT,
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185. IMPORTANT THINGS TO CRY ABOUT.
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186. HUNGRY IRISH CHILD LOOKS LIKE!
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187. FIGHT THE OCCUPATION!
FIGHT THE OCCUPATION!
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188. UH, UH,
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189. ABOUT BUCKLEY?
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190. ANYBODY AT ALL?
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191. THE NAME OF THE BOY WAS BUCKLEY.
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192. AT FIRST, I DIDN'T MUCH
LIKE BUCKLEY, I ADMIT.
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193. PISS OFF MY NEIGHBOR, MR. HANK HILL,
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194. OUT THIS BUCKLEY FELLOW,
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195. GET TO KNOW HIM.
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196. I GREW TO LOVE THAT BOY.
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197. NOW THAT HE'S GONE, I
FEEL A BIG HOLE IN MY LIFE.
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198. I THINK WE ALL DO.
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199. A WORLD WE WANT TO LIVE IN?
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200. AS A BUDDHIST, OF COURSE, I
GET COMFORT FROM A STORY.
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201. I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU HOW
MUCH BUDDHISTS LIKE A STORY.
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202. ANYWAY,
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203. CHASED BY FEROCIOUS TIGER.
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204. TO EDGE OF CLIFF.
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205. MAN FALLS OFF.
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206. HALFWAY DOWN, HE
GRAB ONTO A BRANCH.
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207. ONE HUNGRY TIGER.
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208. NOW HE LOOK DOWN.
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209. HE SEE ANOTHER HUNGRY TIGER,
WAITING FOR HIM ON THE GROUND BELOW.
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210. THAT NOT A GOOD PLACE TO BE.
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211. HE KNOW FOR SURE HE GONNA DIE.
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212. THEN, OUT OF CORNER OF HIS EYE,
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213. GROWING FROM SAME BRANCH.
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214. HE PLUCK IT AND EAT IT.
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215. AND
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216. STRAWBERRY HE EVER HAD.
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217. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY?
HE TELLS A JOKE AT A FUNERAL.
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218. HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE.
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219. YEAH, BUT IT WAS FUNNY.
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220. I JUST DON'T KNOW
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221. CAN GET SO DIRTY IN A CEMETERY.
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222. BOBBY, ARE YOU IN THE BATH YET?
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223. THERE'S NO HOT WATER.
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224. OH, THE HEATER MUST
HAVE GONE OUT AGAIN.
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225. WILL YOU CHECK ON IT, HANK?
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226. SO, IS IT LIT?
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227. UH, WELL, IT'S GETTING THERE.
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228. OH, FOR HEAVEN SAKES,
HANK, I WILL DO IT MYSELF.
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229. HANK, WHAT IS WRONG WITH
YOU? YOU WON'T GO TO WORK.
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230. OPPORTUNITY TO GRILL.
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231. AND NOW THIS?
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232. YOU'RE AFRAID OF PROPANE.
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233. OH, MY GOD.
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234. WELCOME TO THE "SURVIVORS
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235. OF PROPANE EXPLOSIONS"
SUPPORT GROUP.
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236. LET'S START WITH CHUCK.
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237. EVER SINCE THE EXPLOSION, EVERY
SONG I PLAY SOUNDS LIKE FEELS SO GOOD.
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238. MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE
IT DOES "FEEL SO GOOD"
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239. TO BE ALIVE.
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240. NO, THAT'S NOT IT.
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241. MR. HILL, TELL US HOW YOU'RE
DEALING WITH YOUR GRIEF.
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242. NOTHING MUCH TO TALK ABOUT.
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243. I WAS IN A PROPANE EXPLOSION,
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244. AND NOW I'M AFRAID OF
PROPANE. NEXT PERSON?
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245. SHOCK TREATMENT?
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246. PERHAPS. SOUNDS TO ME
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247. THAT WHAT YOU'RE REALLY
AFRAID OF IS YOUR OWN DEATH.
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248. WHAT? NOBODY'S AFRAID OF DEATH.
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249. THAT'S CRAZY. I'M
AFRAID OF PROPANE.
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250. YOU'RE TRANSFERRING,
MR. HILL. DOESN'T IT SCARE YOU?
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251. YOUR FAMILY'S SPECIAL MOMENTS.
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252. NO!
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253. WINE WITH YOUR FRIENDS.
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254. SCRATCHING YOUR CAT OR CATS.
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255. NO!
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256. MAKING LOVE TO YOUR PARTNER.
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257. NO! NO! NO!
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258. MR. HILL, ONLY WHEN YOU
DEAL WITH YOUR FEAR OF DEATH,
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259. YOUR FEAR OF PROPANE.
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260. STOP IT. CAN'T YOU HEAR
THE HISSING? IT'S PROPANE.
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261. THIS ROOM'S GONNA BLOW!
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262. AAH!
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263. HERE.
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264. WHAT'S THIS?
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265. IT'S MY SCRAPBOOK.
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266. PEOPLE DEAL WITH DEATH, HANK.
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267. FROM THE LOCAL NEWSPAPERS.
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268. IT IS ALSO MY HOBBY.
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269. GOOD LORD!
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270. WH... PEGGY...
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271. UGH.
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272. WOW.
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273. THEY COULD NOT BEAT THAT TRAIN.
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274. Y'ALL EVER THINK ABOUT DEATH?
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275. WELL, YEAH, I THINK ABOUT
IT, HANK. I'M AN ARMY BARBER.
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276. DEATH IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD.
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277. I AM NOT GOING TO DIE.
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278. CHROMIUM PICOLINATE.
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279. EVERY ORIFICE, EVERY DAY.
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280. HANK, LET ME GIVE
YOU A PIECE OF ADVICE.
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281. AND ENJOY LIFE.
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282. I GOT THIS STORY ABOUT A TIGER.
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283. KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF.
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284. ALREADY HEARD THAT JOKE, KAHN.
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285. "STRAWBERRY."
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286. HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT WHO'LL
TAKE CARE OF BOBBY WHEN YOU'RE GONE,
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287. 'CAUSE I'D LIKE TO
THROW MY HAT IN THE RING.
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288. I'D... I'D TAKE HIM
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289. PICKING OUT COLLEGES.
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290. IN ANY GUARDIANSHIP SITUATION.
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291. I'LL TAKE THE BOY.
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292. THE WIDOW HILL IS ON HER OWN.
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293. YOU GOT A DEAL.
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294. ALL RIGHT.
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295. DON'T SHAKE HIS
HAND. LET GO OF THAT.
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296. I'M NOT SAYING BOBBY
GOES TO EITHER OF YOU.
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297. WHAT'S GOING ON?
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298. I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA BE OK.
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299. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, HANK, ABOUT
THAT DANG OLD MEANING OF LIFE, MAN.
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300. IT'S LIKE THIS, MAN:
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301. WINGS DEEP DOWN IN A FOREST, MAN.
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302. FALL OVER 5,000 MILES AWAY, MAN.
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303. THERE AIN'T NOBODY SEE IT,
NOBODY DON'T KNOW IT HAPPEN.
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304. YOU KNOW,
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305. DON'T GOT NO DANG FRIENDS.
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306. DON'T GOT NO
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307. THE OLD EVIL, MAN.
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308. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT YOU GOING...
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309. IT'S LIKE YOU'RE BORN INTO THIS
WORLD, MAN AND YOU GOT LIKE THIS, MAN.
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310. DUST IN THE WIND, MAN, OR LIKE A
DANG OLD CANDLE IN THE WIND, MAN.
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311. IT DON'T MATTER, MAN.
ALL OLDIES ALL THE TIME.
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312. YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK, MAN?
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313. LIKE THE DANG OLD, "I
THINK, THEREFORE YOU ARE."
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314. WELL, THAT'S WHAT WE TELL
OURSELVES, ISN'T IT, BOOMHAUER?
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315. ALL RIGHT. I CAN DO THIS.
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316. NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF.
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317. HANK! HANK! I CAN'T FIND BOBBY!
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318. CONNIE SAYS HE RAN AWAY AND HE'S
ALREADY BEYOND THE TRI-YARD AREA.
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319. BOBBY!
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320. HERE'S A FRUIT PIE.
YOU GET LADYBIRD.
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321. COME ON, SMELL THE
PIE, GIRL. COME ON.
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322. ALL RIGHT. SHE'S LOCKED
ON BOBBY'S SCENT.
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323. COME ON, GIRL, LET'S GO.
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324. HURRY, HANK!
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325. OH, I HOPE HE FINDS
BOBBY BEFORE DARK.
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326. FOR THAT LITTLE BOY.
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327. TO RUN AWAY!
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328. I HEARD ENOUGH FROM YOU.
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329. THE MORE YOU HOLD IN, THE MORE YOU
PUT ON STRANGE SINEAD O'CONNOR ACT.
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330. I CRY RIVER OF TEAR FOR BUCKLEY.
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331. WHY NOT YOU?
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332. SO I'M NOT CRYING FOR BUCKLEY.
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333. BIG DEAL. HE DOESN'T DESERVE IT.
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334. HEY, SO, FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY I WANTED
TO GET YOU THOSE EARRINGS YOU LIKE.
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335. BUT I'M KIND OF TAPPED OUT,
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336. SO HERE'S SOME CD'S I DON'T
LISTEN TO ANYMORE. LATER, BUCKLEY.
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337. BUCKLEY.
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338. AAH! MY HAIR!
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339. I'M SO ALONE!
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340. EE-AW. NO, YOU'RE NOT.
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341. YOU'RE RIGHT AS RAIN, WHAT WHAT?
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342. YOUNG THING AS WELL.
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343. BUT I DON'T WANNA
LOOK PRETTY ANYMORE.
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344. THAT'S JUST RUBBISH.
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345. LOOK PRETTY. RIGHTO?
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346. WHY DON'T YOU TRY
ON THAT LOVELY WIG?
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347. OH!
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348. HOW DO I LOOK?
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349. OH, HMM!
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350. LET'S SEE IT OFF AGAIN.
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351. DAD, HOW'D YOU FIND ME?
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352. WELL, I LET LADYBIRD SNIFF
ONE OF YOUR FRUIT PIES.
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353. THE BLOCK A FEW TIMES.
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354. WELL, AND THEN
MR. KRINSKI CALLED
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355. AND SAID HE SAW YOU OVER HERE.
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356. OH, HE WAS PROBABLY
JUST LOOKING FOR HIS MOM.
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357. YEAH. SO, UH,
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358. SO, I GUESS YOU'RE UP
HERE 'CAUSE OF THE WAY
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359. I'VE BEEN ACTING
SINCE THE EXPLOSION.
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360. WELL, WHEN THAT HAPPENED
I WAS AFRAID YOU WERE DEAD.
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361. TO YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT DYING.
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362. AND I GUESS I FREAKED OUT.
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363. OH, SON, YOU SHOULDN'T BE
WORRYING ABOUT THAT STUFF.
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364. HOPEFULLY, IT'S A LONG WAY OFF.
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365. AND MAKING A TEAM...
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366. AND, YOU KNOW, GETTING DATES.
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367. THE BOTTOM OF THE LIST.
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368. AND ENJOY LIFE.
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369. HUH.
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370. HEY, DID I EVER TELL
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371. THE MAN AND THE TIGER?
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372. UH-UH.
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373. WELL, UH, THERE WAS THIS MAN
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374. BY A FEROCIOUS TIGER.
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375. UH, MAKE THAT A
LION, A DETROIT LION.
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376. TWO OF 'EM.
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377. HALL-OF-FAMER ROGER STAUBACH.
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378. I KNOW HIM. HE SELLS
LIFE INSURANCE ON T.V.
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379. YEAH. WELL, ANYWAY,
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380. POCKET, RUNNING FOR HIS LIFE.
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381. HE HEADED FOR THE SIDELINES, BUT
THESE TWO LIONS WERE CLOSING IN ON HIM.
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382. CORNER OF HIS EYE,
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383. HE SAW A STRAWBERRY.
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384. CUP OF GATORADE.
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385. WELL, ROGER TOOK A
DRINK OF THAT GATORADE.
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386. BUT I'LL TELL YOU
SOMETHING, SON.
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387. GATORADE ROGER EVER TASTED.
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388. OHH!
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389. I GET IT.
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390. IT'S FUNNY, DAD.
YOU TOLD IT GREAT.
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391. BETTER JOKE FOR YOU.
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392. UH, OK.
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393. BUY A CAR TOGETHER.
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394. KNOWS HOW TO DRIVE.
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395. MONEY WITH THEM.
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396. OH, DID I SAY THEY WERE
TRADING IN THEIR DOGSLED?
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397. NO.
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398. GOOD, 'CAUSE THAT'S
THE PUNCH LINE.
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399. SO, THE MONEY MELTS,
'CAUSE IT'S A SNOWBALL.
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400. THEY HAVE TO STAY IN A HOTEL.
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401. I'M GONNA LEAVE OUT
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402. 'CAUSE IT DOESN'T
REALLY GO ANYWHERE.
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403. GOD, THIS IS A GOOD JOKE!
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404. HANK, LOOK OUT, IT'S GONNA BLOW.
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405. VERY FUNNY.
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406. HEY, HANK, YOU GOT A LIGHT?
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407. THAT'S A REAL GOOD
ONE FOR THE 15TH TIME.
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408. HELP, HONEY.
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409. MY ARM'S BEEN BLOWN
OFF BY PROPANE.
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410. HA-HA, JOE JACK.
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411. SERIOUSLY, BABY,
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412. UP THE MEGA LO MART.
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413. I DIDN'T BLOW IT UP!
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