King of the Hill 2x7

Directed by Monte Young

David Herman as Buckley (voice) • Billie Joe Armstrong as Face (voice) • Mike Dirnt as Zeus (voice) • Tre Cool as Kane Skretteberg (voice) • Jim Cummings as Pops (voice)

Hank and the guys seek vengeance after a group of teenagers beat them at paint-ball.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Hey, wai…

2. Wait a minute.

3. There, one of the leaves just moved.

4. You're shoving it with the nozzle, Bill.

5. Well, that's what you get

6. for buying a Japanese leaf blower.

7. It's built for blowing

8. those little bonsai bushes

9. and cherry blossoms.

10. For crying out loud, it's 5:30!

11. Will you punks turn off that racket maker?

12. It's called a leaf blower, pops.

13. Runs on a newfangled device called the gasoline engine.

14. What the heck's wrong with using a rake?

15. You lazy punks.

16. A rake, you say?

17. I never heard of a rake, have you, Bill?

18. Uh… Nope.

19. Must've been before our time.

20. Yeah, man, I tell you what, man.

21. I seen dang old rake over that dang old Smithsonian, man.

22. Right next to Lincoln's hat and Archie's chair, man.

23. Dang old caveman section.

24. Don't you cuss at me, Jimmy Dean.

25. I'll sic my dog on you.

26. See ya, pops.

27. Keep watching Touched by an Angel.

28. Here comes a shut-in.

29. Lucky kid.

30. The doctor says getting chickenpox at the age of 12

31. could cause sterility in weaker children.

32. My Joseph better not be sterile.

33. I need my seed to live on.

34. Certain plans of mine require additional gribbles.

35. Bobby, I'm proud of you.

36. Getting over the chicken pox is a milestone

37. so to celebrate, you can do anything you want.

38. How about we go to the family fun center?

39. Yay. The family fun center.

40. They have go-carts and skeeball

41. and mini

42. golf.

43. I like their blood pressure machine.

44. Can we, dad?

45. Oh, boy, there goes that rock band again.

46. That's not rock.

47. It's okay if you only know three chords

48. but, god, put them in the right order.

49. That noise has been giving nancy headaches all week.

50. Then, yesterday, her back broke out in scratch marks.

51. Well, I'll go over and straighten 'em out.

52. Ugh. Yuck.

53. I wonder if that music is what killed this grass.

54. Uh, fellas, could I have your attention, please?

55. Wow! Cane Skretteburg!

56. You're that 12th-grader

57. who put don't on all the stop signs.

58. - Peace. - Wow.

59. Fellas, my name is Hank Hill

60. and I'm the block captain.

61. Now, it's not that I don't like music.

62. It's just that…

63. I don't like music.

64. I don't like music.

65. Hey, now cut that out.

66. This is serious.

67. Oh, my lord.

68. You've got five plugs in one outlet here.

69. Does your father know you're doing this?

70. My dad's dead.

71. Oh. I'm… sorry. I didn't know.

72. My, uh, condolences.

73. Does your mother know you're doing this?

74. My mom's in prison… for killing my dad.

75. Okay, I get it.

76. You're joking.

77. Well, I've got a sense of humor.

78. I laugh at Tony Danza.

79. Of course, if you aren't joking, I feel bad and I apologize.

80. I laugh at Tony Danza.

81. I laugh at Tony Danza.

82. I laugh at Tony Danza.

83. All right, that's it.

84. I'm going to count to three…

85. One, two, three!

86. I'm not horsing around here!

87. Lucky for you I don't have time for this right now!

88. Come on, Bobby, let's go to the fun center!

89. Please, dad,

90. can we please play paintball?

91. Now, hold on a minute.

92. Let's see, they give you kids guns

93. and let you shoot at each other?

94. Yeah, okay.

95. Kids'll be out there an hour or two.

96. We can get in some nice, relaxing…

97. Ball guy.

98. Ow.

99. Dad, these older guys cornered us

100. in a hole

101. and they kept firing and firing.

102. They made us eat leaves.

103. What? Who did this to you?

104. Cane Skretteburg.

105. Yeah, I'm a singer.

106. Got my own band.

107. Play next week at the park 'n' ride.

108. Wow.

109. This is a really good xerox of you.

110. Hey, you!

111. What is wrong with you

112. picking on little kids like that?

113. How would you like it if someone bigger and stronger

114. shot you up, you little freak?

115. Cane Skretteburg has never been shot.

116. - Yeah. Darn right. - Yeah. Cane.

117. And the first guy to do it's not going to be

118. some fat, old desk jockey.

119. Desk jockey?

120. Hey, I am a finely tuned ex-high school athlete.

121. I spent four years

122. holding guys like you upside down over toilets.

123. I don't care how many guys you held in the men's room.

124. You still can't beat us.

125. What do you say?

126. You want to teach some punks a little respect?

127. Oh, yeah.

128. Very little.

129. Okay, your goal

130. is to capture the blue flag from over there

131. and bring it back here.

132. When you get hit, you're dead.

133. All right, men.

134. Let's paint some ass.

135. I think we're closing in on them.

136. Only talk if you have something important to say.

137. Okay.

138. Hey. Oh, I got some important news in the mail this morning.

139. Did you know that thanks to colonial valley?

140. I can purchase term life insurance

141. for only pennies a month?

142. Boy, I'm glad I opened that immediately.

143. You going to do it, Bill?

144. I can't afford not to.

145. This is it, guys.

146. Everybody hunker down.

147. Okay, men, this is no time

148. to go easy on these punks.

149. That's the mistake their parents made.

150. Hey, they're over here! I heard the bald guy,

151. split his pants.

152. Drop your weapons

153. or suffer the consequences.

154. What? We lost the game already?

155. March, prisoners.

156. Now, wait a minute.

157. No one told us anything about prisoners.

158. Where's that darn ref?

159. Halt. Attention, golfers!

160. We have captured your comrades.

161. Hey, Hank.

162. Hey, keep your eyes on the ball.

163. Nothing going on here.

164. Just teaching some punks a lesson.

165. That's my dad.

166. On your knees, prisoners.

167. It's the rules.

168. You're not cheaters, are you?

169. These kinds of games go back and forth like basketball.

170. They're in the lead now, but we're coming back.

171. - Ow! - Ow!

172. Hey, man! Dang old ow!

173. Wait a minute.

174. You can't just execute my men.

175. Later, pops.

176. Pops?

177. Gosh, how humiliating.

178. Later, pops.

179. Ohh!

180. Uh, afternoon, everybody.

181. Uh, who wants a cold one?

182. You want a cold one?

183. Got some cold ones here.

184. They're cold.

185. That sure is cold, all right.

186. Maybe I should have brought mittens.

187. Yeah.

188. Yeah. My dang ol' mittens, man.

189. How long are we going to keep up this false cha-rad?

190. Cha-rad? Man!

191. I'll tell you what, man.

192. That word's pronounced charade.

193. I need a cold one.

194. You want a cold one?

195. Here's a cold one for you.

196. Here's a cold one for you. Here's a cold one for you.

197. I hope you're all happy.

198. There's no cold ones left for me.

199. Open up your eyes, man.

200. You're holding a beer.

201. Oh, you call this beer?

202. Guatemalica?

203. Who bought this stuff?

204. Not me.

205. 'Course not. Bill buy beer?

206. No need to do that

207. when you got friends to mooch off of.

208. Hey, hey, some friends you are.

209. When my wife left me 'cause I was lazy and dependent

210. did even one of you find me a new one? No.

211. Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

212. I can't stand fighting.

213. Yeah, we know that. You showed that on the paintball field.

214. I am not a coward!

215. Lenore!

216. Dang ol' bully, man, y'all!

217. What are you doing?

218. I'm helping Bobby look like Cane.

219. He's so cool.

220. He said I could be the stubborn stains' groupie.

221. The word is roadie, Bobby.

222. He meant roadie.

223. At least, I hope to god.

224. Oh, Hank, for goodness sake

225. just put on your glasses.

226. Only old people need glasses to read.

227. I use mine to drive and run and jump.

228. Hank, I am giving you a look.

229. Uh…

230. Okay.

231. No!

232. What? Hank!

233. Well, what is it?

234. Those kids.

235. I can't take it anymore.

236. So tell them to knock it off.

237. Who, me?

238. I… I've already got my slippers off.

239. Maybe you should tell them.

240. Hank, have you forgotten who you are?

241. You are Hank freaking Hill

242. the man who won the Texas propane association

243. blue flame of valor award…

244. The man who drove raccoon after raccoon

245. out of our attic

246. armed only with a broom handle and a pillowcase…

247. And the man whose sperm struggled through

248. that tiny urethra god cursed you with

249. to create our wonderful son.

250. Now, you go back out there

251. and get yourself a rematch.

252. You really think we could beat them this time?

253. Well, I know a few raccoons

254. who'd say Hank Hill can do anything he puts his mind to.

255. Uh… Anything?

256. Dad, the raccoons are back!

257. Rematch?

258. I thought we agreed never to discuss the horrors

259. that we saw on the killing fields of the fun center.

260. This is not over.

261. We're not losers and we're not quitters.

262. Those paintballs really hurt.

263. Don't they?

264. I mean, I'm just saying what everybody thinks, right?

265. The way I see it, we're at a critical moment here.

266. Is this when we start turning

267. into the weird old guys of the block

268. who can't open up their doors

269. without finding a flaming fudge bag on the mat?

270. Or do we fight back?

271. - Well, I think we should fight. - Yeah.

272. We fight back a lot hard, too.

273. Yeah, fight, man.

274. Rematch.

275. Tomorrow, noon.

276. If you've got any guts, you'll be there.

277. Sorry, pops.

278. My car broke down.

279. Rematch. Tomorrow, noon.

280. If you've got any guts, you'll be there.

281. Yeah, man!

282. - All right, men! - Let's go!

283. I'm going to get those guys!

284. Well, at least this time, one of us got a shot off.

285. Sorry, Bill.

286. Mm-hmm.

287. Yepper.

288. Yup.

289. Yep.

290. Yessiree.

291. Then, it's agreed, we're old.

292. Aw, get used to it.

293. You're in for the downhill ride of your life.

294. Hey, you know, with colonial valley

295. you can get $40,000 of stroke coverage

296. just for signing up.

297. That's not chump change.

298. Yeah, and you can never be denied coverage

299. based on what you eat.

300. Well, I guess I better check this out.

301. It's never too early to think about dying.

302. Somebody needs a touch-up.

303. Ow!

304. Yee-ha!

305. Those darn kids.

306. We said we were old.

307. What do they want from us?

308. Oh, it's just kids having their fun, Hank.

309. Don't try to figure them out.

310. They can't be figured.

311. Just shake your fist at them like this.

312. They won't come back.

313. Whoo! Hey, looks like they want a second coat!

314. Ugh!

315. Alright, ladies.

316. I thought you said they wouldn't come back.

317. Hey, if I could understand teenagers

318. I wouldn't get my mailbox knocked over every week.

319. Hey, maybe that's it.

320. Wh-what's it?

321. If we don't want to end up feeble and helpless like pops

322. we've got to do what he never did,

323. understand the mind of a teenager

324. observe its habits, learn its ways.

325. That's how we beat those punks.

326. Yeah.

327. - Yeah, man. - Yeah.

328. Who's pops?

329. Teenagers can be so cruel.

330. Okay, pimples, hop on up.

331. Buckley, I'm going to Cane's concert

332. as his special guest, not his girlfriend.

333. Uh, I don't know.

334. I don't trust this guy.

335. Well, if you're so worried, come with me.

336. Cane told me to bring a friend for the drummer.

337. Oh, you mean it?

338. Oh, stock boy, we need some sugar in aisle three.

339. Oh, snap.

340. Oh.

341. Teenagers are clumsy around girls.

342. Hey, jerkwad,

343. you sprayed poison on my veggie wrap.

344. Teenagers show no respect for a man in uniform.

345. Hey, pops

346. how did you know to find us here?

347. Well, it's a school day, isn't it?

348. So, you ready for a fresh coat?

349. You boys seem pretty sure of yourselves.

350. Maybe you'd like to put a little wager on today's match.

351. Well, what do you have in mind?

352. Let's make the stakes high for both of us.

353. You put up your amplifier

354. and I'll put up Bill's leaf blower.

355. All right, you got a deal.

356. Guys? Guys, where are you?

357. Ow!

358. I twisted my ankle.

359. Time out.

360. Time out, everyone!

361. Guys…

362. Oh, seriously, I-I-I give up.

363. Don't shoot.

364. Uncle…

365. Ow!

366. You were right, Bill, teenagers are cruel.

367. They'll pick on the slowest, heaviest,

368. well, the important thing is you were right, Bill.

369. I still don't see why I had to be the decoy.

370. Aw, you were going to get shot anyway.

371. Still.

372. Hey, it's Luanne. How you doing?

373. What, me?

374. Leave a message after the beep.

375. Beep.

376. Ow!

377. Beep.

378. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

379. Dang, man, Ya gotta watch that friendly fire, man.

380. You don't need to doggone frag me like I'm a dang ol'.

381. Ah… I can't help it.

382. They trained me too well.

383. I am the most efficient killing machine

384. the world has ever…

385. Ow.

386. Three down and

387. one to go.

388. Hey, did you see some pot-bellied old guy

389. with loser glasses come huffing past here?

390. Uh, sure.

391. He's traveling up the creek bed

392. to cover his tracks.

393. Oh, and, uh, young fellow?

394. You lose.

395. Hey, his scoop's bigger.

396. I think you're going to enjoy

397. the world of acoustics.

398. This sucks!

399. Who could that be?

400. Good lord!

401. That could start a fire!

402. Now what's happening?

403. He's stomping it good.

404. And there's doodies in there, right?

405. There sure is, pops.

406. There sure is.

407. Dad, the raccoons are back!