King of the Hill 1x9

Directed by Chuck Sheetz • Chuck Sheetz

Laurie Metcalf as Cissy Cobb (voice) • Chuck Mangione as Self (voice) • David Herman as Brent Cobb (voice) • Toby Huss as Alexi (voice) • Chuck Mangione as Chuck Mangione (voice)

Peggy and Hank head to Dallas so Peggy can compete in a boggle tournament, but Hank decides to forego the tournament in order to attend a lawnmower expo.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Now, Minh, the game of boggle.

2. Is really quite simple.

3. The goal Is to make words out of these 25 letter-cubes.

4. Hoo-yeah!

5. Ba... Mee... Tom... Yum.

6. It's got to be a real word, honey.

7. Yes. ba mee tom yum. Thai spicy noodle soup.

8. Tasty and delicious.

9. - I tell you, I hate to see Nancy...

10. cooped up all Sunday playing that boggle.

11. It's a beautiful day.

12. She ought to be outside hanging my laundry.

13. Sunday! Sunday! And Saturday.

14. It's the 9th annual Dallas Mower Expo!

15. Be there as the biggest names in mowers.

16. Unveil the latest grass-cutting technology!

17. Thrill to the awe-inspiring spectacle

18. of the snapper precision mowing team!

19. See king mulch take on a Texas-sized pile of twigs!

20. Over 10,000 oil paintings must be sold!

21. Don't miss the Dallas mower expo!

22. Be there!

23. "Pad thai" doesn't count, Minh.

24. Mm. I guess I win again.

25. Boy, Aunt Peg.

26. The words I don't know could fill a dictionary.

27. You know, the elks are having a boggle tournament

28. to raise bail money for their treasurer.

29. Maybe you should enter.

30. Me? Oh, fish.

31. I just play for fun.

32. Minh, you owe me $13.

33. Thank you for boggle lesson, Peggy Hill.

34. Maybe next week I teach you mah-jongg.

35. Bring your checkbook.

36. Hank, I'm thinking of entering

37. a boggle tournament over at the elks.

38. Boggle? Boy, the elks will do anything for a dollar.

39. Are they still playing that game

40. where the cows got to drop dung in a square?

41. Boggle is nothing like cow bingo, Hank.

42. Boggle is a game of wits.

43. Now, cow bingo is a game of strategy.

44. Hoo-yeah!

45. All right, Peggy. I replaced my watch battery

46. ate a cinnabon, and bought a p-trap.

47. I can't kill any more time.

48. Let's go.

49. Shh! Hank, it is only round five.

50. Hmm... "Impatient."

51. Okay, that's time.

52. Pencils down. Let's tote 'em up.

53. Oh, I hope you don't mind,

54. but I only used words that appear in Patsy Cline lyrics.

55. Oh, little sick boy,

56. would yo like for me

57. - to find your name in the next boggle? - Mm-hm.

58. - Okay.

59. - Hoo-yeah!

60. Boy, that wife of yours is pretty good.

61. I guess that's why they call her your "Better half."

62. Who calls her that?

63. "They."

64. And I hope that your leg gets better real soon,

65. Zachary Quinn, Junior.

66. Oh, my goodness!

67. Congratulations!

68. You won, Mom!

69. Looks like someone's going to have to clear room on his trophy shelf.

70. Easy, Peggy. That's my M.V.P. Trophy.

71. Mom's trophy is bigger than yours.

72. Oh, Pooh, I don't care about the trophy.

73. The real honor is representing Arlen

74. in the state Boggle championships.

75. You're going to state?

76. - Mm-hm. - Oh, that's so exciting!

77. Just like when uncle Hank went to state for high school football.

78. Oh, yeah, it's exactly like that, Luanne.

79. Oh, well, it might not be football,

80. but there are over 200 competitors,

81. and you're allowed to bring a coach.

82. Hey, you want to be my coach?

83. A boggle coach? What would I do?

84. Well, Hank, you don't have to do anything.

85. You just have to be there.

86. Unless you want me to go off to Dallas by myself.

87. Dallas?

88. I don't want you going to Dallas at all.

89. That place is crawling with crackheads and debutantes.

90. And half of 'em play for the cowboys.

91. Oh, come on, Hank.

92. It's just for the weekend.

93. We'll be back on Sunday.

94. Sunday!

95. Sunday!

96. - Sunday!

97. Guess who's going to the mower show?

98. And if you guess right, you can come with me.

99. It's, it's you.

100. Right?

101. Did I win... it?

102. Am I going?

103. Boy, how'd you manage to swing that with Peggy?

104. She don't like mowers like we like mowers.

105. Simple, I found a boggle tournament in Dallas to keep her busy

106. while we have some real fun.

107. Check it out, man. Talk about road trip.

108. The Big D Motel, man. You're talking about

109. the biggest names in mowers, edgers, and clippers! Be there!

110. Man, it's gonna be fun.

111. Let's go, Peggy.

112. We got to get to Dallas before the gangs wake up.

113. Hank, shh!

114. It's 4:00 a.m.

115. Can I go back to bed, Aunt Peggy?

116. I need to get eight hours of beauty sleep

117. and then write a paper on it.

118. In a minute, honey.

119. Now, it is very important that we know we can trust you two.

120. Now, no parties while we're gone.

121. - Okay.

122. Bye-bye.

123. On behalf of...

124. The Arlen Boggle Boosters.

125. I'd like to present you with this jacket.

126. Good luck, Peggy. W-I-N!

127. Oh. I promise to make Dairy king, Mr. Lube

128. and Rivera's sump pumps proud.

129. This weekend, Peggy Hill is gonna put Arlen, Texas, on the map.

130. Okay, Peggy Hill.

131. Good luck and maybe good-bye.

132. Maybe?

133. Where I come from

134. either you come home a winner or you not come home at all.

135. Good luck, Peggy Hill. Good-bye.

136. What are you watching?

137. Risky Business.

138. Luanne.

139. That movie's got bad words and adult situations.

140. Not anymore.

141. I rented it at blockbuster.

142. Ooh, I also got a fire safety video starring Chuck Mangione.

143. Want to watch?

144. No, thanks.

145. I'm kinda in the middle of doing laundry.

146. Okay.

147. But remember,

148. Chuck says always unplug your iron after use.

149. Thanks for the tip.

150. It's okay, honey.

151. Valet parking is included in the price of the room.

152. I don't like the looks of this one, Peggy.

153. He's just itching to take my truck for a joy ride.

154. Oh, Hank.

155. It's lovely. Look at that.

156. Oh, look, everyone. It's Peggy Hill.

157. Boggle champ of Arlen, Texas.

158. I'm Joan, Boggle Hospitality Coordinator.

159. Here's your tournament tote bag,

160. a schedule of events, and a boggle lei.

161. Oh, Joan, this is my husband Hank.

162. Wonderful. We have tons of activities to occupy your time

163. while Peggy plays boggle.

164. You look like you could use a wallet.

165. Would you like to make a wallet?

166. Uh, I don't think so.

167. - Harley Davidson already made one for me.

168. Hank is not just my husband.

169. He is also my coach.

170. Oh, well, then you'll be needing one of these.

171. Come on, Peggy.

172. There's a Parker Brother I want you to meet.

173. So, take it from me, Chuck Mangione,

174. unplugging the iron "Feels so good."

175. Can you dig it?

176. Bobby, wait.

177. Use the coaster.

178. Uh-oh.

179. What have you done?

180. That coffee table is trashed.

181. Your parents trusted us, Bobby,

182. and we let them down.

183. They won't be home for 48 hours.

184. I'll think of something.

185. Hey, I got it.

186. You think of something.

187. - Checking in.

188. The name's Hank Hill.

189. - Mmm... Nope.

190. I have a Peggy Hill.

191. Yeah, that's it. Hank and Peggy Hill.

192. I have a Peggy Hill.

193. She's my wife.

194. Oh. Okay, um, Mr. And Mrs. Peggy Hill.

195. - Now, you listen to me.

196. - The name is Hank Hill.

197. Mr. Hank Hill.

198. Peggy married me.

199. I didn't marry her.

200. What are you looking at?

201. Oh, look, Peggy.

202. It's Cissy Cobb.

203. Boggle Champion of Dallas for seven non-consecutive years.

204. Oh, uh, excuse me.

205. Cissy, I am fellow Boggle champ Peggy Hill.

206. My, my, what an interesting jacket.

207. Did you patch that together yourself?

208. Well, actually, it was given to me by the Arlen Boggle Boosters.

209. They got local businesses to sponsor my trip.

210. Oh, how exciting.

211. Why, you're at the very beginning of a rags to riches story.

212. Okay, the guy at Home Depot said

213. all we got to do is strip, sand, varnish, buff,

214. varnish, buff, varnish, wax, buff...

215. Oh, god, your parents are gonna be home...

216. in 47 hours!

217. - Hurry!

218. No!

219. That was close.

220. Why, hello there...

221. Peggy Hill.

222. Name's Burnett.

223. Cissy Cobb's husband slash coach.

224. Uh, actually, my name...

225. You don't have to explain.

226. I got an uncle named Leslie

227. And the Duke himself, John Wayne,

228. was really named Marion.

229. You take that back.

230. The stain's not coming out.

231. I'm going to put it on "High."

232. Oh, Hank.

233. I have dreamt of this moment

234. ever since I reached ages eight and up.

235. Yeah. So I'll see you at dinner.

236. I got to get to the mower show.

237. You can't leave now.

238. - You are my coach.

239. I need you.

240. You of all people should understand, I am at state.

241. This is my moment.

242. You know, when I close my eyes,

243. I see myself in the winner's circle.

244. And you are right there next to me.

245. My coach, my man.

246. And we drive back to Arlen

247. with that big-ass Boggle trophy

248. mounted on the hood of your old truck

249. like some beautiful

250. gold-plated, bare-breasted Rolls Royce Angel.

251. Well, when I close my eyes,

252. I see myself at the mower show,

253. and you're there, too.

254. Like some beauty queen of yore

255. wearing a fur coat and a gold, uh, hat.

256. Oh, all right, I'll stay.

257. Coaches, please clear the gaming floor!

258. Oh, I forgot.

259. Coaches have to watch from a closed-circuit TV room.

260. Hold my purse?

261. Well, hello, patches.

262. You must be here for your boggle lesson.

263. Bogglers, take your marks!

264. Hoo-yeah.

265. Um.

266. Hmm.

267. The vowel cubes are running cold.

268. Coach's note. It's a good day for "Sometimes y."

269. Hey, Cobb,

270. For 7.50, I can ride the mower that cut the grassy knoll.

271. Shh!

272. "Patina,"Pendant," "Panoply," and "Lobster."

273. Cissy Cobb, 73 points.

274. Peggy Hill, your words, please.

275. Um...

276. Dang?

277. "Dang" is not a word.

278. That's just some backwoods patois.

279. Winner, Cissy Cobb.

280. 73 to zero.

281. Dang.

282. I am so stupid.

283. Ah, you're not stupid.

284. Heck. You're smarter than me.

285. Oh, big deal.

286. Well, you're smarter than anyone else in Arlen.

287. Well, whoop de doo.

288. I am the smartest Hillbilly in Hillbilly town.

289. I... I'm trying, Peggy.

290. I just... Hey, you know, coach used to say something

291. that would fire us up when we were behind.

292. Yeah, what?

293. Loser! You're a loser!

294. Are you feeling sorry for yourself?

295. Well, you should be, 'cause you are dirt!

296. You make me sick, you big baby!

297. - Baby want a bottle?

298. A big dirt bottle?

299. Why are you yelling at me?

300. Uh, well, I'm trying to be your coach.

301. I... It's...

302. - It's inspiring. - Well, thank you

303. 'cause I feel worse than ever.

304. Well, it worked for the team.

305. No, it didn't.

306. You went to State and lost.

307. - Aw, geez.

308. I think I need one of those eight dollar beers.

309. You were right, Hank.

310. I am a loser.

311. I am 255 out of 256.

312. Oh, come on now. You're still doing better than...

313. Uh, boggle playing chicken.

314. Coaches, please clear the gaming floor.

315. Well, I guess that's my cue.

316. You want me to hold your purse?

317. Fine. This shouldn't take very long anyway.

318. Wow. Would you look at this place.

319. I feel like... the pretty woman.

320. Mm-hmm.

321. Uh, Hank...

322. Oh, hi guys.

323. Uh...

324. What are you doing with that purse?

325. I'm holding it for Peggy.

326. - Uh-huh.

327. Come on, man, we're missing the mower show.

328. Let's go.

329. Well, maybe tomorrow.

330. What's going on here, Hank?

331. I've got a pretty good dang ol' idea what's going on.

332. I'll tell you what, man...

333. Two days ago, you were like a little boy.

334. All excited about the mower show.

335. Now, you're this strange man holding a purse.

336. Which is it, Hank?

337. Are you some kind of man

338. or are you a little boy?

339. I am still a little boy, dammit!

340. And I'm still excited about going to the mower show.

341. Come on, let's go.

342. Hmm. Mm-mmm.

343. Winner, Peggy Hill.

344. Oh, I don't believe it.

345. You played a great game.

346. And on display in booth 5, the blade from sling blade!

347. "Liberace's Mower, no flash photography"

348. Are you sure you can get that ring out?

349. Look, I can't afford any more screw-ups.

350. I just spent my last dollar on deodorizing carpet sealant.

351. What color is that?

352. Is that eggshell-white?

353. It's got to be Swiss-coffee!

354. Oh, baby.

355. - Oh, man.

356. Whew!

357. Winner, Peggy Hill.

358. - Winner, Peggy Hill.

359. Winner, Peggy Hill.

360. I did it.

361. Guess what, Hank.

362. We are going to the finals.

363. Whew. Look at ol' Boomhauer.

364. Rollin' and dodgin' and such.

365. Dang! Some... Pick up that dang ol' rock!

366. I'll tell you, I haven't had this much fun

367. since our last football road trip.

368. Remember?

369. When we went to State?

370. You know, Peg was there. Remember?

371. Yeah, I remember.

372. Cheering her heart out when we were down 28 to nothing.

373. Man, this dang ol' piece of crap.

374. Dang ol' locked up get that grass out of there, that...

375. I ain't got no fingers!

376. I'm sorry, Peggy.

377. We have to start the finals.

378. Okay, as soon as I find my husband.

379. I mean, coach.

380. He's probably just refilling my rosin bag.

381. Oh, don't kid yourself.

382. He's probably just too embarrassed to watch me beat you again.

383. Cissy cobb?

384. That's right, patches.

385. Looks like it's you and me in the finals.

386. Uh, Hank.

387. Hello and welcome to the Texas State Boggle Championships.

388. We're coming to you live

389. on the Dallas Grand Plaza Hospitality channel.

390. I'm Brent Steele and with me

391. is Boggle Grandmaster Alexi Gulgarin.

392. Thanks, Brent.

393. This should be a great final match.

394. Two great bogglers, only one will be winner.

395. All right, it's going to be best of three.

396. I want a clean game.

397. No foreign words.

398. No foreign objects. Shake.

399. Oh, Hank.

400. Cissy Cobb is off to an excellent start. In round one.

401. Peggy Hill hesitated.

402. That's going to cost her

403. At least a four letter word.

404. Ooh, there goes Peggy Hill's pencil.

405. Oh.

406. With no coach

407. She's really at a disadvantage.

408. Incredible!

409. What a scrapper. What a save!

410. The players will now read their word lists

411. starting with Peggy Hill.

412. Sad, abandon, abandons, bad, man...

413. We're in the final round

414. of this championship match And Peggy Hill is far behind.

415. Peggy.

416. Peggy Hill is down to her last pencil.

417. She has no more pencils in reserve.

418. Everything rides on this pencil.

419. Ah. This is awful.

420. I think it's all over for Peggy Hill.

421. Hank, where the hell have you been?

422. It doesn't matter where I've been.

423. I figured out where I should be.

424. Now, let's show 'em how we play boggle in Arlen.

425. Whatever you say, coach.

426. Hoo-yeah!

427. Peggy Hill was writing up a storm

428. But will it be enough?

429. Caviar, chincHilla, harpsichord.

430. Ooh.

431. What confidence.

432. She wrote "Harpsichord," but not "Harp" and not "Chord."

433. Oh, a very bold gambit.

434. Fish, fishes, slaw...

435. Peggy Hill is using

436. the opposite strategy.

437. A long list of short words to narrow the gap.

438. Churn, churns, apron, aprons...

439. She needs ten more points.

440. And she only has one word remaining.

441. Ain't?

442. Ain't is not a word.

443. I win!

444. It ain't "Ain't," Cissy Cobb.

445. The word is "Acquaintanceship."

446. As in "It was not my pleasure

447. to make your acquaintanceship."

448. I win.

449. What an incredible upset!

450. Peggy Hill is the new Texas State Boggle champion!

451. Now, back to a description of hotel fire safety procedures

452. with Chuck Mangione.

453. You did it, Peggy. You did it.

454. Just like you said.

455. You're in the winner's circle.

456. And you are right beside me, Hank.

457. Loser! You're a loser!

458. Are you feeling sorry for yourself?

459. Well, you should be!

460. You know, there's something coach said he would do

461. if we ever won the big game.

462. Oh, yeah? What's that?

463. Mmm.

464. - Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!

465. My parents are going to be home any minute!

466. What the hell is going on here?

467. Huh?

468. This party is officially over!

469. You kids get out of here before I call your parents.

470. I don't know how you two could be so irresponsible.

471. You are both grounded.

472. What were you thinking?

473. You've got school tomorrow.