1. Now Peggy, this par three
isn't as easy as I made it seem.Copy !req
2. You have to take into account
different factors.Copy !req
3. Hm, wind's blowin'
about five miles an hourCopy !req
4. to the sou—Copy !req
5. Hot dang!
Peggy, that's a hole-in-one!Copy !req
6. Ho-yeah!
And to think I have not touched a clubCopy !req
7. in, what, six years,
while you are here every weekend.Copy !req
8. Well, a hole-in-one is great,
but the worst thing you can do nowCopy !req
9. is chase that high and forget your form.Copy !req
10. Interesting.Copy !req
11. When was the last time
you got a hole-in-one, Hank?Copy !req
12. Real golfers only focus
on their next shot.Copy !req
13. So, never.Copy !req
14. Now, this green has a severe slope.Copy !req
15. Focus... Focus...Copy !req
16. What the...?Copy !req
17. "Hole-in-one, number sign PeggyHill,Copy !req
18. number sign GolfPro,
number sign BetterThanHank"?Copy !req
19. Focus on this, Hank!Copy !req
20. Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!Copy !req
21. Couples' tournament is next weekend,Copy !req
22. so maybe we should save
the celebratingCopy !req
23. until we actually win that loving cup?Copy !req
24. - Shit on a shingle!
- Peggy! Language.Copy !req
25. Elbows.Copy !req
26. I hate this gameCopy !req
27. and everyone who plays it!Copy !req
28. Peggy, what are you doing?Copy !req
29. It's against golf etiquette
to put a divot in the green.Copy !req
30. What does golf etiquette say
about meCopy !req
31. jamming this clubCopy !req
32. into your mouth?Copy !req
33. It's frowned upon.Copy !req
34. Hank, I am terrible.Copy !req
35. I am a horrible partner!Copy !req
36. Hank, if we weren't married,
would you have picked meCopy !req
37. for the husband-and-wife golf tournament?Copy !req
38. Huh. Uh...
that's a weird question.Copy !req
39. No, I guess?Copy !req
40. Why would you not marry me, Hank?Copy !req
41. Uh, you might wanna play through.Copy !req
42. Mr. Gribble told me you guys entered
the husband-wife golf tournament.Copy !req
43. How's practice comin' along?Copy !req
44. Which one of you is Bagger Vance?Copy !req
45. I still don't understand golf.Copy !req
46. Uh, well, not as much luck today
as I had yesterday,Copy !req
47. but that is golf, right?Copy !req
48. Well, that's a good attitude, Peggy.Copy !req
49. Bring some of that positivity
to the tournament,Copy !req
50. and we just might win this thing.Copy !req
51. Number sign champions.Copy !req
52. Which one of you idiots
loaded the dishwasher like this?Copy !req
53. - What did you do, Dad?
- Literally nothing.Copy !req
54. I will just reload it myself,
like I do everything else around here!Copy !req
55. No, I don't have
anything to do. I'll do everything.Copy !req
56. - Okay—
- Hey, Mom, the food was great.Copy !req
57. I could serve this at Robata Chane.Copy !req
58. Oh, do not be a kiss-ass, Bobby.Copy !req
59. And I know when a couple
needs some alone time,Copy !req
60. so see you tomorrow, bye!Copy !req
61. - Yup.
- Yep.Copy !req
62. - Yup.
- Yeah, man.Copy !req
63. So... fellas, anybody got anything newCopy !req
64. they want to share with the group?Copy !req
65. Well, I guess I'll be the first to say it.Copy !req
66. I heard Peggy got a hole-in-one
on the golf course.Copy !req
67. She sure did.Copy !req
68. But it's the worst thing
that coulda happened.Copy !req
69. Ever since then,
she's been havin' some wild swings,Copy !req
70. on and off the course.Copy !req
71. Boy, Hank.Copy !req
72. That sure does sound
like a hairy situation.Copy !req
73. Well, maybe I'm just bein'
too hard on her.Copy !req
74. I know golf's a frustrating game,
but she can't sleep,Copy !req
75. and she's sweating more
than a you-know-what in church.Copy !req
76. Dang ol' end of her time, man.Copy !req
77. Talkin' 'bout them dang ol'
ch-ch-ch-changes, man, you know?Copy !req
78. Gotta turn and face some strange, man.Copy !req
79. You really think
it's menopause, Boomhauer?Copy !req
80. Yeah, man, I had the same dang ol' thing
with Luke Jr.'s mom, man.Copy !req
81. Hot and cold, wound up stabbin' me
with a dang ol' protractor, man.Copy !req
82. Well, I guess that would explain
all of Peggy's strange behaviorCopy !req
83. and emotional outbursts.Copy !req
84. I'll talk to her!Copy !req
85. She's not the only one
goin' through a big change.Copy !req
86. Hey, Bill, did anyone mentionCopy !req
87. the beautiful new hairpiece
we picked out for you?Copy !req
88. Look at you. So dignified.Copy !req
89. No, they did not, Kahn.Copy !req
90. I guess a fella
needs to get the menopauseCopy !req
91. to be noticed around here.Copy !req
92. Shut up, Bill.Copy !req
93. Peggy Hill has menopause?Copy !req
94. Ha-ha, Hank Hill!
Your life's about to get miserable now.Copy !req
95. I went through that with Minh.Copy !req
96. Thankfully, I got divorced, but not you.Copy !req
97. You have requited love.
Loser.Copy !req
98. Good one, Kahn.Copy !req
99. Anyway, I'm not worried about Peggy.Copy !req
100. She'll handle it.Copy !req
101. She probably just wants to be left alone
and not talk about it.Copy !req
102. Hank! Can you come in?Copy !req
103. Hank, your house is the other way.Copy !req
104. I know.
Just takin' the scenic route.Copy !req
105. Hi, Peggy.
I was talkin' to the guys in the alleyCopy !req
106. and it got me thinkin'.Copy !req
107. Maybe this is a bad time for us
to be in the golf tournament.Copy !req
108. Why?Copy !req
109. Well, it may be hard for you to playCopy !req
110. if you're dealing with,
oh, I don't know, uh,Copy !req
111. mood swings, irritability, brain fog,Copy !req
112. increased appetite,
decreased bone density.Copy !req
113. Uh, you know, golf stuff.Copy !req
114. So, you and the guys in the alleyCopy !req
115. were talking about me
going through menopause?Copy !req
116. What? Uh... why?Copy !req
117. Do you think you have menopause?Copy !req
118. Oh, I have been going
through it for a while,Copy !req
119. and it has been a battle.Copy !req
120. I dominated the first few rounds
and dodged the worst symptoms.Copy !req
121. Now, that's the Peggy I know.Copy !req
122. And everybody loves that Peggy.Copy !req
123. I really thought I had won.Copy !req
124. But the last few months
have been brutal, Hank.Copy !req
125. Like Muhammad Ali whaling away
on my uterus and my emotions.Copy !req
126. Well, Ali would never hit below the belt,Copy !req
127. but I'm very sorry about your...Copy !req
128. Um, uh...Copy !req
129. Do not worry, Hank.Copy !req
130. I know this is not your thing.Copy !req
131. Lord knows, my father was clueless.Copy !req
132. My mother powered through it alone,
and so will I.Copy !req
133. We are staying in the tournament.Copy !req
134. Peggy Hill is not a quitter.
I will beat this.Copy !req
135. - What happened there?
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
136. Did not get today's Wordle.Copy !req
137. Oh, man, you talkin' 'bout
that ol' Mister Rogers, man.Copy !req
138. With ol' "choo-choo," yeah, man, it's—Copy !req
139. PBS finally did somethin' right, man.Copy !req
140. Boomhauer is right!Copy !req
141. You look like an idiot in that sweater.Copy !req
142. This was a gift from Kahn,
so I feel like I should wear it.Copy !req
143. Although it is pretty itchy.Copy !req
144. You seem to be listening
to Kahn an awful lot lately.Copy !req
145. Maybe a little too much.Copy !req
146. Can't a guy's male roommate suggest
he wear a hair unit, dress differently,Copy !req
147. and come up with a strict
thousand-calorie-a-day meal planCopy !req
148. without you makin' it sound weird?Copy !req
149. Bill, come on.
It's time to go to the park.Copy !req
150. I got a new Frisbee!Copy !req
151. Nuh-uh. Not in the front.Copy !req
152. Oh! Right.
My sweater sheds on the seat.Copy !req
153. It's hot back here.Copy !req
154. Hold on, pal.Copy !req
155. It all makes sense now.Copy !req
156. Post-divorce, Kahn has no control
over his own life,Copy !req
157. so he's controlling Bill,
turning him into his pet.Copy !req
158. Yeah, man, talkin' 'bout tell— tell him
like— like a dang ol' dog, man.Copy !req
159. - But— but to what end, man?
- Bingo!Copy !req
160. To know what that deranged, egotistical,Copy !req
161. depraved psychopath would be plotting,Copy !req
162. we need to ask ourselves one question.Copy !req
163. What would I do?Copy !req
164. Can I help you, Hank?Copy !req
165. No, Peggy, I'm here to help you.Copy !req
166. You don't have to power
through this alone like your mom.Copy !req
167. So, here.Copy !req
168. "How to Beat Menopause"?Copy !req
169. Gettin' that off Amazon
really did a numberCopy !req
170. on my "Recommended Books,"
I tell you what.Copy !req
171. I had to buy a case
of drill bits I already hadCopy !req
172. just to set the algorithm straight.Copy !req
173. So, it was a win-win.Copy !req
174. Hang on a second.Copy !req
175. "Fluctuating estrogen
can lead to weakened vision."Copy !req
176. Okay, I went ahead
and rerouted the air ductsCopy !req
177. so that more cool air will pump
towards your side of the bed.Copy !req
178. Should help with your hot flashes.Copy !req
179. This does feel better, Hank.Copy !req
180. Mm.Copy !req
181. I heard this is calming
and will help with your muscle soreness.Copy !req
182. Ah. This is so soothing, Hank.Copy !req
183. "3% of women's feet
get bigger during menopause"?Copy !req
184. No!Copy !req
185. Yeah! Come, come get it.
Come get it.Copy !req
186. Mm-mm.Copy !req
187. Just like a dang ol',
like a prisoner of war, man.Copy !req
188. But talkin' 'bout
like a Zero Dark Thirty,Copy !req
189. but a dang ol' opposite of that, man.Copy !req
190. Exactly what I was thinking, Boomhauer.Copy !req
191. I'll draw up plans
for "Operation Retrieve Dauterive."Copy !req
192. Good news, Peggy.
I talked to the tournament coordinator,Copy !req
193. and they've agreed to make
some accommodations.Copy !req
194. Here's your cart, Mrs. Hill.Copy !req
195. I've affixed a portable fan to the front,Copy !req
196. and I loaded some Ensure in the back
at your husband's request.Copy !req
197. - Why does she get a cart?
- Not sure why you need a cartCopy !req
198. if you could get a hole-in-one.Copy !req
199. - Ugh!
- Not fair.Copy !req
200. I can carry my own clubs
and I can walk just fine.Copy !req
201. Ah!Copy !req
202. Everyone, stand back!Copy !req
203. What's wrong, Peggy?Copy !req
204. Is it hot flashes?
Is it brittle nails?Copy !req
205. Is it...
bosom tenderness?Copy !req
206. My back feels like it is on fire, Hank!Copy !req
207. We have to drop out.Copy !req
208. It's still unfair she gets a cart.Copy !req
209. Oh, sing a new song, asshole!Copy !req
210. Don't throw into coverage, Tony Romo!Copy !req
211. After 80, every year
without a headstone is a milestone.Copy !req
212. Oh, yep.Copy !req
213. You preach, my golden girlfriend.Copy !req
214. - Uh... Peggy?
- Oh, it is okay, Hank.Copy !req
215. Insomnia is yet another symptom
of menopause.Copy !req
216. So, my life is just getting worse
and I get to be awake for more of it.Copy !req
217. Ah, yes.Copy !req
218. Well, uh, I noticed
you're still in that Rascal scooter.Copy !req
219. It's been a week, and the doctor
said you'd only need it for a few days.Copy !req
220. What is your point, Hank?Copy !req
221. Well, I was thinkin' maybe in the morning
we could go for a nice walk.Copy !req
222. You know, get some steps in
instead of RPMs.Copy !req
223. I did not know I was married to a Fitbit.Copy !req
224. Do you think maybe
we could turn that down?Copy !req
225. I'm havin' trouble hearing you
over those bawdy one-liners.Copy !req
226. Excuse me.Copy !req
227. It must be so nice to have earsCopy !req
228. that are not affected by menopause.Copy !req
229. I don't remember reading that
as one of the symptoms.Copy !req
230. Since you wanna help,
why don't you put a dent in this?Copy !req
231. "To-do list: install walk-in tub,Copy !req
232. install Life Alert buttons,
install stair-lift chair"?Copy !req
233. We live in a one-story house.Copy !req
234. Hank, I cannot do this with you right now.Copy !req
235. Peggy, I just— I've never seen you
throw in the towel like this.Copy !req
236. If I have to get old,
I might as well be comfortable.Copy !req
237. What happened to the Peggy
who sent the AARPCopy !req
238. a cease-and-desist letter?Copy !req
239. Well, that was last year
when I was young and dumb.Copy !req
240. Oh, and one more thing for the list.
Depends, size medium.Copy !req
241. Bwah!
Are you havin' trouble with, uh—Copy !req
242. Leakage, Hank? No.Copy !req
243. But there is a Golden Girls
marathon tomorrowCopy !req
244. of Blanche's best episodes,
and I am not gonna wanna get up.Copy !req
245. She is one funny tramp.Copy !req
246. Mornin', Sug.Copy !req
247. Uh... hi, ladies.Copy !req
248. Is Peggy home?
We came by for our morning walk.Copy !req
249. She's missed the last few.Copy !req
250. She's just, uh... recuperating
from her, uh... golfing injury.Copy !req
251. Oh, cut the crap, Hank.Copy !req
252. Everybody knows
Peggy Hill has menopause.Copy !req
253. I'll let you in on a little secret, Sug.
We have it, too.Copy !req
254. Well, it certainly hasn't
changed you ladies much.Copy !req
255. I discovered orgasms help me.
As many as possible.Copy !req
256. - Bwah!
- Oh, leave Hank alone, Minh.Copy !req
257. Sug, women adjust to menopause
in different ways.Copy !req
258. - They do?
- Yeah.Copy !req
259. Nancy dyes her hair!Copy !req
260. Yes, and some women get hasty divorcesCopy !req
261. and start lying about their age
on dating apps.Copy !req
262. That's also why I get some herbal remediesCopy !req
263. to help with the symptoms,
if you know what I mean.Copy !req
264. I do not.Copy !req
265. She's talking about marijuana, Opie!Copy !req
266. That's a federal offense!
Last I checked,Copy !req
267. the Constitution
hadn't gone through a change.Copy !req
268. It's only illegal
depending on where you get it.Copy !req
269. Orgasms.Copy !req
270. Sit, Bill.
But like a human,Copy !req
271. not the obedient dog
Kahn has turned you into.Copy !req
272. I don't know
what you're talking about, Dale.Copy !req
273. Oh, Bill, you're too far gone to see.Copy !req
274. You're being controlled
and manipulated by Kahn,Copy !req
275. and you need to stand up for yourself.Copy !req
276. Stop, Dale.
Kahn just cares about meCopy !req
277. and he wants to help me
realize my potential.Copy !req
278. It's like livin'
with a Laotian Tony Robbins.Copy !req
279. At first, I suspectedCopy !req
280. he was trying to turn you
into his personal pet,Copy !req
281. which I understood,
and was even impressed by.Copy !req
282. But upon further investigation,
I've learned Khan's planCopy !req
283. is even more diabolical.Copy !req
284. - What is this?
- Surveillance footage.Copy !req
285. This happened when you
were playing in the backyard.Copy !req
286. I looked up
who this suspicious man wasCopy !req
287. and found out he's a lawyerCopy !req
288. who handles real estate transactions.Copy !req
289. Mm.
Kahn has been hintingCopy !req
290. about getting us a summer cottage
in Kirbyville.Copy !req
291. You're delusional, Bill.Copy !req
292. Kahn has been making you
act like a dogCopy !req
293. so he could prove you
mentally incompetent,Copy !req
294. and then take your house.Copy !req
295. No, no. I don't wanna believe it.Copy !req
296. Come on, Bill.
You have to confront him.Copy !req
297. - What's wrong?
- Sorry.Copy !req
298. I kinda got used to gettin' a treat
before goin' on walks.Copy !req
299. I already feel dirty.Copy !req
300. Smells like... Austin.Copy !req
301. Welcome to Crunky Town.Copy !req
302. My— my name's Frank!
Frank... uh, Fill.Copy !req
303. It's okay, Frank.
Just tell me what you're looking forCopy !req
304. and I'll help you find the right product.Copy !req
305. Well, I have done some research—Copy !req
306. in the library,
not on my personal computer.Copy !req
307. That would be nuts.
And I understandCopy !req
308. that some of your
cannabis-related productsCopy !req
309. regulate the prefrontal cortex
and also the hypothalamus,Copy !req
310. which is called "the body's thermostat,"Copy !req
311. safely helping them
alleviate a variety of symptoms.Copy !req
312. Deep breaths, friend.Copy !req
313. A lot of our customers are on the spectrum
like you, including me.Copy !req
314. Do not get me startedCopy !req
315. talking about abandoned
railway lines in North America.Copy !req
316. What?
No, I'm not here for me.Copy !req
317. I'm here for my wife.
I don't have to give you her name, do I?Copy !req
318. No, sir, you do not.
What is she dealing with?Copy !req
319. Well, she's goin' through...Copy !req
320. "the change."Copy !req
321. Menopause.Copy !req
322. We have several different
strains for that.Copy !req
323. Are you looking for something
for hot flashes,Copy !req
324. night sweats, insomnia?Copy !req
325. All of the above.Copy !req
326. And below.Copy !req
327. This strain right here,
great for sleeping trouble.Copy !req
328. Hm. You're the expert.Copy !req
329. - Will that be cash or credit?
- Cash!Copy !req
330. - Kahn, we need to talk.
- You're tracking mud in the house.Copy !req
331. - Bad Bill!
- Uh-uh! Not anymore.Copy !req
332. Dale just showed me footage
of you meetin' with a lawyer.Copy !req
333. Is it true, Kahn?
Are you trying to steal my house?Copy !req
334. What? No!Copy !req
335. That was a lawyer,
but he wasn't meeting with meCopy !req
336. to steal your house.Copy !req
337. I'm finally signing my house
over to Minh.Copy !req
338. - Why?
- I officially accepted the divorce.Copy !req
339. It's time to move on.Copy !req
340. Which is why
I've been trying to change Bill.Copy !req
341. Then you admit it!Copy !req
342. I just wanted to prop you up a little,Copy !req
343. give your ego a boost.Copy !req
344. I appreciate you being there for me
when I hit rock bottom,Copy !req
345. and I wanted to make sure
you will be okay on your own.Copy !req
346. On my own?
What are you saying, Kahn?Copy !req
347. I'm moving out, Bill.Copy !req
348. I found a nice studio apartment
with on-site laundry.Copy !req
349. Well, if that's true,Copy !req
350. how do you explain
all the things we've seen?Copy !req
351. The toupee and the sweaterCopy !req
352. were to help Bill have more confidenceCopy !req
353. and hopefully meet a lady after I leave.Copy !req
354. Okay...Copy !req
355. But what about the park?Copy !req
356. That was me tricking him
to go to the doctorCopy !req
357. because he's put off a checkup
for too long.Copy !req
358. The doctor said Bill
needed to cut back on beer,Copy !req
359. hence the pennies in the can.Copy !req
360. And fetching the newspaper?Copy !req
361. Okay, that one was because
I was too lazy to do it myself.Copy !req
362. But the treat I gave him
had cholesterol medicine in itCopy !req
363. that he wouldn't take otherwise.Copy !req
364. It's true.
I do gag on pills.Copy !req
365. I think you're finally ready, Bill.Copy !req
366. He wasn't treating you like a rescue,Copy !req
367. because in reality, you rescued him.Copy !req
368. I'm gonna miss you so much.Copy !req
369. Taking me on a real date tonight.Copy !req
370. What do you mean?Copy !req
371. or a cardiologist.Copy !req
372. Just say it, you're old.Copy !req
373. I went to New MexicoCopy !req
374. and I got you some things
I think will help.Copy !req
375. Hank, is that what I think?Copy !req
376. Yes, it is.Copy !req
377. Now, this one's called
"Ganja Said Knock You Out,"Copy !req
378. and it's good for insomnia.Copy !req
379. And this one helps with hot flashes,
it's called "Elmer Budd."Copy !req
380. And these gummies are supposed
to help with joint pain.Copy !req
381. Oh, my goodness!Copy !req
382. I know what you're thinkin'.
How would Warner BrothersCopy !req
383. let 'em use the name Elmer Budd?Copy !req
384. Oh, sweetie.Copy !req
385. I know I'm rambling, it's just,Copy !req
386. this is just so gosh-darn weird.Copy !req
387. Hank Hill, you bought drugs for me?Copy !req
388. And transported 'em across state lines.
Like some kind of... mule.Copy !req
389. All to help with my menopause?Copy !req
390. Yes. I didn't know what else to do.Copy !req
391. Doing this must have been
very hard for you.Copy !req
392. Harder than when I had to check Bobby
for pinworms with the flashlight.Copy !req
393. I guess if you can do
something this hard for me,Copy !req
394. then I can do this.Copy !req
395. You are right.
I had given up, Hank.Copy !req
396. But maybe there is some fight
left in this old girl.Copy !req
397. Oh, you look so, uh...Copy !req
398. Wow, Peggy.Copy !req
399. I was afraid I would never see
that look in your eyes again.Copy !req
400. I was afraid I'd never see you
out of a muumuu again.Copy !req
401. I do not need you to fix anything, Hank.Copy !req
402. Just please be the one thing
that does not change.Copy !req
403. I thought I paused this.Copy !req
404. So, Dale thought Khan
was tryin' to turn you into a dogCopy !req
405. using mind control?Copy !req
406. - That sounds about right.
- Yeah, except he wasn't!Copy !req
407. It was all because he loved me.Copy !req
408. I'm just glad you're not wearin'
that toupee anymore.Copy !req
409. You looked like a Chia Pet.Copy !req
410. Aw, thanks, Hank.Copy !req
411. But I don't need it anymore.Copy !req
412. I got my own confidence now,
so I threw it away.Copy !req
413. - House is real lonely, though.
- Gentlemen.Copy !req
414. I'm back.
Stupid apartmentCopy !req
415. had creaky floors and, uh...Copy !req
416. a... a ghost.Copy !req
417. Sounded just like Minh, but less shrill.Copy !req
418. Anyway, I can't live there anymore.Copy !req
419. - What time is dinner, Bill?
- I'll have it ready in 20 minutes.Copy !req
420. - Yep.
- Yup.Copy !req
421. Yep.Copy !req
422. Hank Hill got some good shit!Copy !req
423. Oh, sing a new song, asshole!Copy !req