1. Ripped By mstoll
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2. I'm starting to worry.
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3. Mr. Strickland's
been in his office
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4. with the door shut
for more than an hour.
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5. Maybe he's passed out
drunk on his mini-toilet.
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6. Maybe he's stone-cold dead.
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7. Dang it, I'm going in.
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8. Take the defibrillator, honey.
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9. People, I've been on the horn
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10. with the National Propane Gas
Consortium.
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11. Y'all are looking
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12. at the newest inductee
into the Propane Hall of Flame.
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13. Oh, my Lord, sir.
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14. That's the highest achievement
possible in propane.
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15. I'm at the top of the mountain
all right.
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16. And you're my...
What do you call them goat men
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17. that keep you
from freezing to death?
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18. You're his Sherpa, honey.
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19. That's right,
and to show my appreciation,
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20. I want you to introduce me
at the induction ceremony
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21. at the national convention
next week in Memphis.
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22. This is the greatest honor
I will ever know.
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23. Let's celebrate.
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24. Who wants breakfast whiskey?
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25. Tell me about the sport coat
again, Dad.
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26. The Hall of Flame honoree gets
to wear a special blazer
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27. at the induction ceremony.
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28. It's graduated in color
like a flame itself...
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29. Bright blue at the bottom,
then bright red,
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30. then bright orange,
then bright yellow,
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31. and then bright white
at the shoulders and collar.
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32. Do you get to wear one, too?
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33. No, son.
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34. Standing next to Buck Strickland
in his moment of glory is
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35. probably as close
as I'll ever get
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36. to wearing the rainbow blazer.
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37. The rainbow blazer.
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38. I don't know, Peggy,
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39. this is the greatest moment
in Strickland Propane history,
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40. but what if Buck blows it?
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41. What if he gives in
to his appetites?
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42. Do not worry, Hank.
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43. You have kept him out of trouble
for 23 years.
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44. If anyone can shield
Buck Strickland from booze
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45. and women at a convention
in a good-time town, it's you,
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46. but if you need me for backup,
I am an expert fun-blocker.
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47. Yeah, between the two of us,
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48. we can handle Buck.
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49. I can't believe I'm really here.
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50. This is my Super Bowl, Peggy.
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51. Mr. and Mrs. Hill?
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52. I'm Melanie Scovall.
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53. I'll be your convention liaison.
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54. Now where's the man of honor,
Mr. Strickland?
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55. Ugh, I've lost visual contact.
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56. Red alert, Peggy.
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57. I'll check the bar.
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58. Oh, there he is.
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59. Stand at attention, men.
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60. Hall of Flamer coming through.
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61. The years have been good
to you, John.
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62. You're a more distinguished kind
of ugly.
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63. Peggy, I think I was worried
about Buck for nothing.
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64. It's past noon, he's not drunk,
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65. and he's got people
eating out of his hand.
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66. This right here is
Hall of Flame Buck Strickland.
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67. Honey, you are doing fine
without me.
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68. I have a ladies'
prayer breakfast to attend.
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69. Please don't forget to register
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70. for the grand prize
in our raffle.
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71. Strickland Propane?
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72. Aw, shoot, I requested a booth
next to the men's room.
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73. This can't be right.
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74. Good Lord, sir,
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75. there are
two Strickland Propanes.
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76. Strickland Propane...
Arlen, Texas...
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77. And Strickland Propane...
Gatlinburg, Tennessee.
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78. Thank y'all for visiting
Strickland Propane.
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79. Don't taste the heat;
taste the meat.
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80. Dang it.
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81. What in the Sam Hill
is going on here?
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82. You're using my name and
about 90% of my slogan.
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83. Are you
the great Buck Strickland?
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84. None other.
Who're you?
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85. Sir, I've waited
all my life to meet you.
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86. I'm your bastard son.
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87. Well, I'll be dogged.
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88. Hank, this here's
my son... er, uh, Ray?
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89. Uh, Roy?
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90. Uh, Ray Roy?
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91. My name's Jody, but you can
call me whatever you want.
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92. The important part of my name
is Strickland.
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93. Well, Ray Roy,
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94. what do you say to your
old man buying you a drink?
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95. Just one? Shoot,
I'm ready to drink you broke.
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96. But sir, uh, w-we've
got to set up our booth.
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97. Cover for me.
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98. So what's the bastard like?
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99. Well, the apple didn't fall far
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100. from Mr. Strickland's tree,
I tell you what.
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101. They hadn't been together
two minutes
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102. when they went off drinking.
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103. I'm afraid I might have
to keep 'em apart
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104. for the good of Buck
and Strickland Propane.
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105. Hmm, you want to keep
Buck Strickland
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106. away from his own son.
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107. Admit it, Hank, you're jealous.
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108. You just want to be
the bastard son
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109. Buck Strickland never had
but apparently did.
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110. Why would I want
to be Buck's son
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111. when I'm his assistant manager?
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112. Hmm, translation:
"Love me, Daddy."
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113. Don't forget to register
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114. for the grand prize
in our raffle.
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115. Thank goodness you're back.
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116. I was getting worried.
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117. There's my body spray.
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118. Come on, Pop.
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119. Let's get back in the funk.
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120. You got it, turkey.
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121. W-Wait, wait, sir,
where are you going?
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122. Oh, we going to, uh...
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123. Son, what's the bad part
of Memphis called?
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124. Memphis.
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125. Yeah, that's where we headed.
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126. But sir, people are
coming here to see you.
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127. Mr. Strickland,
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128. we've got a reception
in the Crystal Room at 3:00 p.m.
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129. where you'll be
the guest of honor.
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130. You hear that, sir?
3:00.
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131. He'll be there.
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132. Well, lookie-lookie,
there goes a tookie.
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133. Sorry, Papa got dibs
on that one.
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134. Stand in line, squirt.
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135. Whatever you say, Pop.
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136. Let's smack this town's bottom.
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137. Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
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138. Sir, we're in the middle
of important...
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139. This your first ladies'
prayer breakfast?
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140. Yes, it is.
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141. I'll let you in on
a little secret.
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142. The object here isn't to
get close to the Lord.
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143. It's to get close to
the Platinum Circle.
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144. Ah, yes,
the first ladies of propane.
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145. Tru Wigant, Wendy Fortner,
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146. Jane Ann Kuykendall,
and... wait.
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147. Where's Bebe Wren?
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148. Oh, she's not a wife now.
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149. She's an owner...
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150. ever since her husband
Buddy dropped dead
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151. at the carving station
at The Brown Cow.
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152. So the Platinum Circle
has an opening? Hmm...
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153. Be sure to register
at the hospitality desk in the west...
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154. Buck Strickland a no-show?
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155. No problem.
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156. Meet friends of Buck Strickland.
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157. I'm sorry Buck's not here,
Ms. Scovall.
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158. He was at a Q and
A session, and, uh,
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159. wouldn't you know he got more
"Q" s than he bargained for.
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160. I'll see that he shows up
from now on.
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161. Your boss should take
conventions more seriously.
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162. The United States Constitution
was written at a convention.
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163. This is Mr. Strickland's
Hall of Flame jacket.
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164. I'm entrusting you with it until
the ceremony tomorrow night.
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165. Do not make me regret it.
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166. The rainbow blazer.
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167. I am Peggy Hill.
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168. My husband Hank is introducing
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169. the newest Hall of Flame
inductee, Buck Strickland.
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170. I'm supposed to be impressed?
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171. My husband Pollard is
the president
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172. of the National Propane Gas
Consortium.
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173. Okay.
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174. I am bested but not rattled.
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175. Peggy, you had the guts
to sit there.
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176. You can stay
till your luck runs out.
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177. Deal me in.
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178. Shirley Temple,
meet Mr. Roy Rogers.
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179. Ah... yeah.
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180. Look at that fool,
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181. looking all around like,
like a stupid squirrel.
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182. That's my dad.
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183. Buck, Buck.
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184. You didn't show up
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185. for your meet-and-greet.
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186. Yeah, I was meeting and greeting
a few cocktail waitresses.
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187. Look, I know you want to
spend time with your son...
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188. The cat's in the
cradle and whatnot...
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189. But the prestige of
the Hall of Flame comes
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190. with certain obligations.
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191. Come on, Daddy,
we got us a lady sandwich.
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192. Well, Hank, got to skedaddle.
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193. Buck and Ray Roy
are getting out of control.
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194. Peggy, they mooned Elvis's grave
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195. and his poor little
dead twin brother Jesse.
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196. Well, you'd better figure out
a way to handle those two.
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197. While not impossible,
you cannot count
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198. on one of them to
choke on his own vomit.
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199. Mr. Strickland,
we need to talk.
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200. Oh, for crying out loud,
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201. it's, it's, well,
it's 2:00 in the afternoon.
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202. Yes, in six hours, you're
supposed to be inducted
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203. into the Propane Hall of Flame,
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204. and I'm not sure
you're going to make it.
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205. I'm not sure you should.
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206. Dang it, I'm trying, Hank,
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207. but I've got
to make it up to my boy
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208. for neglecting him
all these years.
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209. He got into propane
'cause of me.
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210. So did I, sir.
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211. I am violating all
kinds of protocol here,
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212. but I want you to
try on this jacket.
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213. Well, that feels nice.
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214. If you want to wear the jacket,
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215. you've got to live the jacket.
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216. All right, Ol' Top,
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217. I'll straighten up.
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218. Gotdog! Ray Roy!
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219. Now, I hope
you got two girls in there!
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220. What the...?
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221. I told you to stand in line!
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222. You didn't stand in line, boy!
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223. Hell, Daddy,
that line was moving too slow.
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224. I just had to do cut-sies!
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225. Cut... Why you son of a...
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226. Oh, no.
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227. Yeah!
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228. Yeah! Ow!
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229. Ow!
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230. I have had enough!
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231. Oh, Hank, we were just
letting off a little steam.
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232. I have tried with all my might
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233. to save you from yourself,
Mr. Strickland.
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234. Well, not anymore.
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235. You're on your own.
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236. You should be ashamed
of yourselves.
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237. And that includes you,
Ms. Scovall.
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238. You have not honored propane.
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239. He's right.
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240. I should be ashamed of myself.
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241. But I never am.
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242. Hey, Hank.
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243. Long Island iced tea?
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244. I can't believe those words
came out of your mouth.
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245. Or did you point to the menu?
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246. How did it go down?
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247. Keep an eye on your friend.
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248. He's tore up pretty bad.
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249. Usually, it's a woman involved,
but apparently,
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250. a couple of dudes named
Strickland did it to him.
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251. I don't ever want to hear
the name Strickland again.
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252. What are you talking about?
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253. This whole thing is because
your name isn't Strickland.
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254. You think I'm jealous
of Buck and Ray Roy?
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255. Who cares?
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256. I sure don't.
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257. Now, Hank, that's just
the rum and tequila
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258. and vodka and gin talking.
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259. I'm gonna give that S.O.B.
an introduction
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260. he'll never forget.
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261. We're here to honor one
of the giants of Texas propane,
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262. Mr. Buck Strickland.
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263. To introduce Mr. Strickland,
his right-hand man, Hank Hill.
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264. I'm not gonna say...
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265. Hell, I am gonna say
what I have been wanting to say.
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266. Buck Strickland is a monster.
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267. A drunk monster.
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268. Buck Strickland is nothing
but a lecherous,
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269. disgusting,
bastard-making bastard...
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270. And now I'm going to vomit.
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271. God, I don't know what happened.
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272. I just snapped.
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273. Now the Board of Governors
is having a special session
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274. this afternoon
to determine my punishment.
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275. It is just not right
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276. that Buck Strickland has been a
drunken boor his whole life,
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277. and you, his white knight, are
the one who's in trouble.
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278. I am so sorry, Peggy.
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279. I guess this has probably
put you in a tough spot
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280. with the Platinum Circle.
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281. Yeah, well, that dream died
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282. when you threw up
in Tru Wigant's hair.
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283. But I am not gonna
let your career die.
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284. Daddy...
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285. I-I feel awful
about trading paint
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286. with what's-her-face.
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287. Oh, hell, son, if we can
get past me abandoning you
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288. and never supporting you,
we can get past this.
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289. What do you say we call it even?
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290. Fair enough.
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291. Oh, hell,
this ain't gonna be good.
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292. Because of your
shameful behavior,
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293. my husband is in danger
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294. of losing all
he has ever worked for.
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295. Hank has devoted
his entire adult life
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296. to you and your company.
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297. He is your company.
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298. Without him, there is
no Strickland Propane.
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299. Well, there is the one
in Tennessee.
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300. Save it, Junior.
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301. You're punching the heavy bag.
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302. You two put Hank
in this position.
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303. You're gonna fix it.
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304. All right, boy,
we got to fix it.
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305. Yeah. We need some schnapps
to help us think!
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306. Let's get the hell
out of here, boy!
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307. Damn! My breath stinks
like blood and peppermint.
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308. Maybe this is why Mama never
wanted us to get together.
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309. Yeah, and why Hank was
trying to keep us apart.
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310. Oh, hell.
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311. We forgot all about
saving Hank's bacon.
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312. All right, here's
what we gonna do.
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313. We gonna take us a hot
shower and a little nap.
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314. Then we're gonna fix things the
way fellas like us fix things.
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315. And then we ain't ever
gonna see each other again.
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316. Okay, Dad.
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317. You know how to do a first-class
hospitality suite, don't you?
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318. I am your son, ain't I?
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319. Mr. Hill,
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320. your guilt hardly
seems to be at issue.
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321. So we can skip right on
to the punishment phase, which...
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322. I'll give you a preview...
Will be severe.
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323. Yes, sir.
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324. I-I can't tell you
how sorry I am.
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325. Hello?
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326. Buck.
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327. Well, we're kind
of in the middle
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328. of our disciplinary hearing...
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329. Like the one in '84?
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330. Oh, very well, then.
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331. We'll see you shortly.
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332. That was Buck Strickland.
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333. His hospitality suite is open.
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334. Like the one in '84?
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335. Mr. Hill, the Board of Governors
needs to adjourn
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336. to caucus about your case.
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337. You stay put.
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338. I won't move a muscle.
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339. I will await your just decision.
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340. Your husband is a disgrace.
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341. I'm being frozen out.
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342. I get it.
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343. Look, as my way of saying
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344. "I'm sorry for being married
to such a horrible man,"
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345. I would like to treat each
and every one of you
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346. to a spa afternoon.
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347. Manis, pedis, facials.
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348. Hair?
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349. The works.
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350. Done!
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351. We sat in every chair
in the hotel, dude!
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352. Yup.
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353. Pollard, gentlemen,
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354. welcome to the Strickland
Hospitality Suite.
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355. We got us a
scrumptious selection
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356. of desserts in the back room.
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357. Oh, hi!
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358. Yes, my husband made a mistake.
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359. All propane men make
mistakes sometimes.
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360. Including some of your husbands.
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361. I'm in my third term
as president
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362. of the Propane Gas Consortium.
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363. Oh.
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364. Well...
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365. now that everybody's got
a pretty girl in his lap,
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366. I'd like to talk about leniency
for my employee, Hank Hill.
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367. Set up!
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368. Everybody run!
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369. Ray Roy, lock the door.
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370. Now, you're all reasonable men.
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371. Surely you can find forgiveness
in your hearts for old Hank
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372. before your wives get here.
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373. Uh-oh, lost
my bikini top!
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374. Ooh, gotcha!
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375. Ow!
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376. Ooh!
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377. Come down here.
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378. Let me tickle you.
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379. You win, Buck.
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380. Y'ello.
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381. Get their hair done.
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382. Mr. Hill,
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383. we had an opportunity
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384. to talk with your employer,
Buck Strickland.
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385. He convinced us that not only
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386. should your actions
last night be forgiven,
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387. your actions over your
20 years of service
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388. are deserving
of the highest honor.
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389. He was very persuasive.
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390. Accordingly,
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391. the Board of Governors has voted
unanimously to award you
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392. this Hall of Flame jacket.
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393. Does this mean?
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394. I... Wait.
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395. I'm in the Hall of Flame?
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396. All of propane owes you a debt.
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397. Most importantly,
I owe you a debt.
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398. Thanks, OI' Top.
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399. Congratulations, Hank.
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400. Here, let me help
you with your jacket.
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401. Well, Buck, I'll let you say
good-bye to your son.
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402. Well, this is good-bye
forever, right?
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403. Forever, Dad.
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404. My breath stinks like
blood and peppermint.
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405. Ripped By mstoll
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