1. I'm starting to worry.
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2. Mr. Strickland's been in his office
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3. with the door shut for more than an hour.
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4. Maybe he's passed out drunk
on his mini-toilet.
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5. Maybe he's stone-cold dead.
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6. Dang it, I'm going in.
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7. Take the defibrillator, honey.
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8. People, I've been on the horn
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9. with the National Propane Gas Consortium.
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10. Y'all are looking at the newest inductee
into the Propane Hall of Flame.
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11. Oh, my Lord, sir.
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12. That's the highest achievement possible
in propane.
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13. I'm at the top of the mountain all right.
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14. And you're my…
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15. What do you call them goat men
that keep you from freezing to death?
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16. You're his Sherpa, honey.
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17. That's right, and to show my appreciation,
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18. I want you to introduce me
at the induction ceremony
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19. at the national convention
next week in Memphis.
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20. This is the greatest honor
I will ever know.
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21. Let's celebrate.
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22. Who wants breakfast whiskey?
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23. - Ra-ha!
- Woo!
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24. Tell me about the sport coat again, Dad.
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25. The Hall of Flame honoree
gets to wear a special blazer
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26. at the induction ceremony.
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27. It's graduated in color
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28. like a flame itself…
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29. Bright blue at the bottom,
then bright red,
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30. then bright orange, then bright yellow,
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31. and then bright white
at the shoulders and collar.
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32. Do you get to wear one, too?
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33. No, son.
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34. Standing next to Buck Strickland
in his moment of glory
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35. is probably as close as I'll ever get
to wearing the rainbow blazer.
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36. The rainbow blazer.
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37. I don't know, Peggy,
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38. this is the greatest moment
in Strickland Propane history,
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39. but what if Buck blows it?
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40. What if he gives in to his appetites?
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41. Do not worry, Hank.
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42. You have kept him out of trouble
for 23 years.
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43. If anyone can shield Buck Strickland
from booze
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44. and women at a convention
in a good-time town, it's you,
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45. but if you need me for backup,
I am an expert fun-blocker.
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46. Yeah, between the two of us,
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47. we can handle Buck.
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48. I can't believe I'm really here.
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49. This is my Super Bowl, Peggy.
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50. Mr. and Mrs. Hill?
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51. I'm Melanie Scovall.
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52. I'll be your convention liaison.
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53. Now where's the man of honor,
Mr. Strickland?
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54. Uh! I've lost visual contact.
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55. Red alert, Peggy.
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56. I'll check the bar.
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57. Oh, there he is.
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58. Stand at attention, men.
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59. Hall of Flamer coming through.
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60. The years have been good to you, John.
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61. You're a more distinguished kind of ugly.
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62. Peggy, I think I was worried
about Buck for nothing.
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63. It's past noon, he's not drunk,
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64. and he's got people
eating out of his hand.
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65. This right here
is Hall of Flame Buck Strickland.
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66. Honey, you are doing fine without me.
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67. I have a ladies' prayer breakfast
to attend.
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68. Please don't
forget to register
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69. for the grand prize in our raffle.
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70. Strickland Propane?
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71. Oh, shoot, I requested
a booth next to the men's room.
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72. This can't be right.
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73. Good Lord, sir,
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74. there are two Strickland Propanes.
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75. Strickland Propane, Arlen, Texas
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76. And Strickland Propane,
Gatlinburg, Tennessee.
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77. Thank y'all for visiting
Strickland Propane.
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78. Don't taste the heat, taste the meat.
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79. Dang it.
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80. What in the Sam Hill is going on here?
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81. You're using my name
and about 90 percent of my slogan.
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82. Are you the great Buck Strickland?
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83. None other. Who're you?
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84. Sir, I've waited all my life to meet you.
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85. I'm your bastard son.
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86. Well, I'll be dogged.
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87. Hank, this here's my son… Ray?
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88. Uh.
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89. Roy?
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90. Uh, Ray Roy?
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91. My name's Jody, but you can call me
whatever you want.
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92. The important part of my name
is Strickland.
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93. Well, Ray Roy, what do you say
to your old man buying you a drink?
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94. Just one? Shoot,
I'm ready to drink you broke.
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95. But sir, uh,
we've got to set up our booth.
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96. Cover for me.
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97. So what's the bastard like?
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98. Well, the apple didn't fall far
from Mr. Strickland's tree,
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99. I tell you what.
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100. They hadn't been together two minutes
when they went off drinking.
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101. I'm afraid I might have to keep 'em apart
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102. for the good of Buck
and Strickland Propane.
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103. Mm. You want to keep Buck Strickland
away from his own son.
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104. Admit it, Hank, you're jealous.
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105. You just want to be the bastard son
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106. Buck Strickland never had
but apparently did.
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107. Why would I want to be Buck's son
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108. when I'm his assistant manager?
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109. Mm. Translation, "Love me, Daddy."
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110. Please, don't forget to register…
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111. …for the grand prize in our raffle.
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112. Thank goodness you're back.
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113. I was getting worried.
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114. There's my body spray.
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115. Come on, Pop.
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116. Let's get back in the funk.
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117. You got it, turkey.
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118. Wait, wait, sir, where are you going?
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119. Oh, we going to…
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120. Son, what's the bad part
of Memphis called?
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121. - Memphis.
- Yeah, that's where we headed.
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122. But sir, people are coming here
to see you.
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123. Mr. Strickland,
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124. we've got a reception
in the Crystal Room at 3:00 p.m.
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125. where you'll be the guest of honor.
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126. You hear that, sir? 3:00.
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127. He'll be there.
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128. Well, lookie-lookie, there goes a tookie.
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129. Sorry, Papa got dibs on that one.
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130. Stand in line, squirt.
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131. Whatever you say, Pop.
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132. Let's smack this town's bottom.
Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
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133. Sir, we're in the middle of important…
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134. This your first ladies' prayer breakfast?
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135. Yes, it is.
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136. I'll let you in on a little secret.
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137. The object here
isn't to get close to the Lord.
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138. It's to get close to the Platinum Circle.
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139. Ah, yes, the first ladies of propane.
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140. Tru Wigant, Wendy Fortner,
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141. Jane Ann Kuykendall, and, wait.
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142. Where's Bebe Wren?
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143. Oh, she's not a wife now.
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144. She's an owner.
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145. Ever since her husband Buddy dropped dead
at the carving station at The Brown Cow.
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146. So the Platinum Circle has an opening?
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147. Mm-hm.
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148. Be sure to register
at the hospitality desk in the west…
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149. Buck Strickland a no-show?
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150. No problem.
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151. Meet friends of Buck Strickland.
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152. I'm sorry Buck's not here, Ms. Scovall.
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153. He was at a Q&A session,
and wouldn't you know
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154. he got more Qs than he bargained for.
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155. I'll see that he shows up from now on.
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156. Your boss should take conventions
more seriously.
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157. The United States Constitution
was written at a convention.
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158. Have a pleasant stay in Memphis.
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159. This is Mr. Strickland's
Hall of Flame jacket.
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160. I'm entrusting you with it
until the ceremony tomorrow night.
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161. Do not make me regret it.
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162. The rainbow blazer.
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163. I am Peggy Hill.
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164. My husband Hank is introducing
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165. the newest Hall of Flame inductee,
Buck Strickland.
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166. I'm supposed to be impressed?
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167. My husband Pollard is the president
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168. of the National Propane Gas Consortium.
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169. Okay.
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170. I am bested but not rattled.
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171. Peggy, you had the guts to sit there.
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172. You can stay till your luck runs out.
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173. Deal me in.
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174. Shirley Temple, meet Mr. Roy Rogers.
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175. Oh, yeah.
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176. Look at that fool,
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177. looking all around like,
like a stupid squirrel.
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178. That's my dad.
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179. Buck, Buck.
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180. You didn't show up
for your meet-and-greet.
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181. Yeah, I was meeting and greeting
a few cocktail waitresses.
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182. Look, I know you want to spend time
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183. with your son…
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184. The cat's in the cradle and whatnot…
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185. But the prestige
of the Hall of Flame comes
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186. with certain obligations.
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187. Come on, Daddy, we got us a lady sandwich.
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188. Well, Hank, got to skedaddle.
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189. Buck and Ray Roy
are getting out of control.
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190. Peggy, they mooned Elvis's grave
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191. and his poor little
dead twin brother Jesse.
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192. Well, you'd better figure out
a way to handle those two.
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193. While not impossible, you cannot count
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194. on one of them to choke on his own vomit.
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195. Mr. Strickland, we need to talk.
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196. Oh, for crying out loud,
it's, well, it's 2:00 in the afternoon.
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197. Yes, in six hours,
you're supposed to be inducted
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198. into the Propane Hall of Flame,
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199. and I'm not sure you're going to make it.
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200. I'm not sure you should.
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201. Dang it, I'm trying, Hank,
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202. but I've got to make it up to my boy
for neglecting him all these years.
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203. He got into propane because of me.
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204. So did I, sir.
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205. I am violating all kinds of protocol here,
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206. but I want you to try on this jacket.
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207. Well, that feels nice.
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208. If you want to wear the jacket,
you've got to live the jacket.
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209. All right, Ol' Top,
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210. I'll straighten up.
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211. Woo-hoo…!
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212. Gotdog! Ray Roy!
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213. Now, I hope you got two girls in there!
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214. What the…?
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215. I told you to stand in line!
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216. You didn't stand in line, boy!
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217. Heck, Daddy, that line
was moving too slow.
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218. I just had to do cut-sies!
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219. Cut… Why you son of a…
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220. Oh, no.
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221. Aah.
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222. Yeah! Yeah! Woo-hoo!
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223. Ow!
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224. I have had enough!
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225. Oh, Hank, we were just letting off
a little steam.
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226. I have tried with all my might to save you
from yourself, Mr. Strickland.
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227. Well, not anymore.
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228. You're on your own.
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229. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
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230. And that includes you, Ms. Scovall.
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231. You have not honored propane.
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232. He's right.
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233. I should be ashamed of myself.
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234. But I never am.
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235. Hey, Hank.
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236. Long Island iced tea?
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237. I can't believe those words came out
of your mouth.
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238. Or did you point to the menu?
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239. How did it go down?
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240. Keep an eye on your friend.
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241. He's tore up pretty bad.
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242. Usually, it's a woman involved,
but apparently,
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243. a couple of dudes
named Strickland did it to him.
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244. I don't ever want to hear
the name Strickland again.
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245. What are you talking about?
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246. This whole thing
is because your name isn't Strickland.
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247. You think I'm jealous of Buck and Ray Roy?
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248. Who cares? I sure don't.
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249. Now, Hank, that's just the rum and tequila
and vodka and gin talking.
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250. I'm gonna give that S.O.B. an introduction
he'll never forget.
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251. We're here to honor one of the giants
of Texas propane, Mr. Buck Strickland.
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252. To introduce Mr. Strickland,
his right-hand man, Hank Hill.
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253. I'm not gonna say…
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254. Heck, I am gonna say
what I have been wanting to say.
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255. Buck Strickland is a monster.
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256. A drunk monster.
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257. Buck Strickland is nothing
but a lecherous,
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258. disgusting, bastard-making bastard…
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259. And now I'm going to vomit.
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260. Gosh, I don't know what happened.
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261. I just snapped.
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262. Now the Board of Governors
is having a special session
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263. this afternoon to determine my punishment.
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264. It is just not right
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265. that Buck Strickland has been
a drunken boor his whole life,
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266. and you, his white knight,
are the one who's in trouble.
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267. I am so sorry, Peggy.
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268. I guess this has probably put you
in a tough spot with the Platinum Circle.
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269. Yeah, well, that dream died
when you threw up in Tru Wigant's hair.
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270. But I am not gonna let your career die.
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271. Daddy…
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272. I feel awful about trading paint
with what's-her-face.
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273. Oh, heck, son, if we can get past me
abandoning you
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274. and never supporting you,
we can get past this.
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275. What do you say we call it even?
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276. Fair enough.
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277. Oh, heck, this ain't gonna be good.
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278. Because of your shameful behavior,
my husband is in danger
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279. of losing all he has ever worked for.
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280. Hank has devoted his entire adult life
to you and your company.
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281. He is your company.
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282. Without him,
there is no Strickland Propane.
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283. Well, there is the one in Tennessee.
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284. Save it, Junior.
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285. You're punching the heavy bag.
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286. You two put Hank in this position.
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287. You're gonna fix it.
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288. All right, boy, we got to fix it.
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289. Yeah. We need some schnapps
to help us think!
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290. Let's get the heck out of here, boy!
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291. Darn! My breath stinks
like blood and peppermint.
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292. Maybe this is why Mama
never wanted us to get together.
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293. Yeah, and why Hank
was trying to keep us apart.
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294. Oh, heck.
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295. We forgot all about saving Hank's bacon.
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296. All right, here's what we gonna do.
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297. We gonna take us a hot shower
and a little nap.
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298. Then we're gonna fix things
the way fellas like us fix things.
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299. And then we ain't ever gonna see
each other again.
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300. Okay, Dad.
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301. You know how to do a first-class
hospitality suite, don't you?
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302. I am your son, ain't I?
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303. Mr. Hill, your guilt
hardly seems to be at issue.
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304. So we can skip right on
to the punishment phase,
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305. which, I'll give you a preview,
will be severe.
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306. Yes, sir.
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307. I can't tell you how sorry I am.
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308. Hello?
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309. Buck.
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310. Well, we're kind of in the middle
of our disciplinary hearing…
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311. Like the one in '84?
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312. Oh, very well, then.
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313. We'll see you shortly.
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314. That was Buck Strickland.
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315. His hospitality suite is open.
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316. Like the one in '84?
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317. Mr. Hill, the Board of Governors
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318. needs to adjourn
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319. to caucus about your case.
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320. You stay put.
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321. I won't move a muscle.
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322. I will await your just decision.
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323. Your husband is a disgrace.
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324. I'm being frozen out.
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325. I get it.
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326. Look, as my way of saying
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327. "I'm sorry for being married
to such a horrible man,"
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328. I would like to treat each
and every one of you
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329. to a spa afternoon.
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330. Manis, pedis, facials.
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331. - Hair?
- The works.
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332. Done!
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333. We sat in every chair in the hotel, dude!
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334. - Yup.
- Ha-ha.
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335. Pollard, gentlemen,
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336. welcome to the Strickland
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337. Hospitality Suite.
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338. We got us a scrumptious selection
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339. of desserts in the back room.
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340. Yes, my husband made a mistake.
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341. All propane men make mistakes sometimes.
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342. Including some of your husbands.
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343. I'm in my third term as president
of the Propane Gas Consortium.
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344. Oh.
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345. Well…
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346. now that everybody's
got a pretty girl in his lap,
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347. I'd like to talk about leniency
for my employee, Hank Hill.
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348. Set up! Everybody run!
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349. Ray Roy, lock the door.
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350. Now, you're all reasonable men.
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351. Surely you can find forgiveness
in your hearts for old Hank
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352. before your wives get here.
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353. Uh-oh, lost my bikini top!
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354. You win, Buck.
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355. Y'ello.
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356. Get their hair done.
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357. Mr. Hill, we had an opportunity
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358. to talk with your employer,
Buck Strickland.
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359. He convinced us that not only
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360. should your actions last night
be forgiven,
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361. your actions over your 20 years of service
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362. are deserving of the highest honor.
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363. He was very persuasive.
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364. Accordingly, the Board of Governors
has voted unanimously to award you
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365. this Hall of Flame jacket.
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366. Does this mean…?
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367. I… Wait.
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368. I'm in the Hall of Flame?
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369. All of propane owes you a debt.
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370. Most importantly, I owe you a debt.
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371. Thanks, OI' Top.
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372. Congratulations, Hank.
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373. Here, let me help you with your jacket.
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374. Well, Buck,
I'll let you say goodbye to your son.
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375. Well, this is goodbye forever, right?
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376. Forever, Dad.
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377. My breath stinks like blood
and peppermint.
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