King of the Hill 13x4

Directed by Tony Kluck

Danny Trejo as Enrique (voice) • Marissa Jaret Winokur as Melinda / Woman (voice) • Phil LaMarr as Roger 'Booda' Sack / Waiter (voice) • Bertila Damas as Customer #2 (voice)

Hank has bad feelings when Mr. Strickland decides to create a MySpace page for Strickland Propane. Hank's fears come true when Donna posts personal videos and information to the web site.

Request examples:

!req King of the Hill 13x4 [02:32]
!req King of the Hill 13x4 [King of the Hill 13x4]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req King of the Hill 13x4 [10-11]; !req King of the Hill 13x4 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. This place is dead!

2. Not cold enough for propane, not hot enough for propane.

3. Goldilocks season, honey.

4. It'll pick up.

5. Propane may be a gas but it's like a rock.

6. Hey, Hank!

7. This fat guy was dancing!

8. Then he slipped!

9. If you think this is funny, you should see funny cats.

10. Donna, turn it off! This is work!

11. Sorry, Hank. But there's nothing to do here.

12. Have you done your expense reports?

13. Fine, I'll do the expense reports.

14. Hey, Hank.

15. Isn't that Pat Ritchie coming out of Thathertons?

16. It is.

17. - Pat? - Oh, Hank. Ha!

18. I'm just, you know, buying some propane.

19. From Thatherton.

20. Yeah, I'm sorry.

21. I met him on MySpace.

22. What? What are you talking about?

23. Your house?

24. No, no, no. MySpace is on the Internet.

25. We, we chatted online. And well, we became friends.

26. But we're friends.

27. We've been in business for a decade.

28. Yeah. But on MySpace, you get to know someone real fast.

29. And it turns out Thatherton's as obsessed with Weezer as I am.

30. What's Weezer?

31. Exactly. Bye, Hank.

32. Thatherton?

33. Goddang, I know Pat Ritchie cheats on his wife!

34. But I never thought he'd cheat on me!

35. Apparently, he communicated with Pat on something called MySpace.

36. MySpace? He used MySpace?

37. What is MySpace? What are we talking about here?

38. I don't know, sir.

39. I think it's a cult.

40. Mm-mm. It's a social networking site.

41. You know, on the Internet.

42. It makes socializing fun.

43. Well, we need to get Strickland on the Internet then.

44. ASAP!

45. But, sir, we already have a "sell sheet" to inform people.

46. Gotta keep up with the times, Old Top.

47. Donna, can you put us on MySpace?

48. Yeah, I'd love to.

49. It sure beats the rest of the crap I normally have to do around here.

50. Donna.

51. Pig?

52. Yeah! All right!

53. You got me a pig!

54. Bobby, get away from that thing. That is not our pig.

55. Bobby, stay back! You'll damage the nose!

56. Dale, why do you have a pig?

57. Nancy and I had dinner at That's Amore last night.

58. Nancy got some truffle shaved on her pasta,

59. and it cost 30 dollars!

60. It was a good thing we got separate checks.

61. Anyway, I decided to rent myself a truffle-hunting pig

62. so I could have as many truffles as I want.

63. Pigs can hunt?

64. Man, they keep getting cooler and cooler!

65. Count me in!

66. Please, Dale. Let me get truffles with you.

67. I love truffles.

68. Okay. You can come with.

69. But you do know these aren't chocolate truffles, right?

70. Of course I know that.

71. I want the kind of truffles that we're talking about.

72. Have you guys heard of this MySpace?

73. Of course. It's the best part of my life right now.

74. I don't understand it.

75. Why do you want to communicate with strangers?

76. Well, they may start out as strangers.

77. But then they become your friends.

78. Not the kind of friends that you hang out with.

79. But the kind that you talk to when you're drunk.

80. Tell you what, man, it's easy dating on that dang ol' MySpace, man.

81. Put my dang ol' college photo on there, man.

82. Yes, Boomhauer.

83. That's exactly why I like to deal with people in person.

84. That way you know what you're getting.

85. Face-to-face interfacing is obsolete.

86. There's over 400 expressions

87. that you can make with symbols online.

88. You can only make two expressions with your face, Hank.

89. Are you agreeing with me?

90. Are you happy? Are you sad?

91. - I can't tell. - It's true.

92. Conversation is better on MySpace.

93. I reveal things about myself that I could just never tell you guys.

94. Don't go to MySpace, Hank.

95. Enrique!

96. I'm Alan-252 from MySpace.

97. Came to get that grill.

98. Hey! I saw that picture of you in Cancun, man!

99. Do you think I would like scuba diving?

100. Alan-252?

101. Man, get your butt over here!

102. Huh! I guess this MySpace thing is really working.

103. We already have over 40 friends.

104. And I know most of them. So they're all really cool.

105. What's Joe Jack doing there?

106. Check it out.

107. Joe Jack, huh? Who knew?

108. Watch this one.

109. Ooh! Dance with me!

110. Come on! I'm so drunk!

111. I was so drunk.

112. Donna, this is terrible. This is no way to represent Strickland!

113. You think I'm just a number cruncher,

114. and I can't do creative things?

115. Take this site down immediately before anyone else sees it!

116. Donna, I was just on the MySpace.

117. It was so much fun!

118. And nothing attracts customers more than fun!

119. Thank you, Mister Strickland.

120. But there's nothing on there about the propane

121. or the propane accessories.

122. Donna, I want you on MySpace duty full time!

123. I'm making you assistant manager of new media!

124. But, but I'm the assistant manager.

125. Well, now we got two!

126. Everyone, now that I'm an assistant manager,

127. we're gonna take this place to a new level.

128. First order of business,

129. we need to add some new video to the site.

130. So who wants to get kicked in the ding-dong?

131. I don't know why Strickland is on MySpace.

132. The whole thing is like a contest

133. to see who can make the biggest ass of themselves.

134. That's why it's so great!

135. I also love MySpace.

136. But I would never be on it as myself.

137. Online, I am Ted Danson.

138. People will tell Ted Danson anything.

139. Kahn is manic depressive.

140. Morning, Donna.

141. Hey, who should we assign to make more coffee for us?

142. I'm thinking Melinda.

143. Slow down, Donna.

144. You've only been assistant manager for a day.

145. - You'll find that leadership… - Hotdang, people!

146. We've got ourselves over 500 friends!

147. Welcome to Strickland. I'm Hank.

148. I'm actually here to buy propane from Joe Jack.

149. Right here.

150. Preferably one that you freaked.

151. I'm on it.

152. I'm pretty sure I gave this one the business, honey.

153. But just to be sure.

154. Yee-ha!

155. - Business is really picking up! - Yoo-hoo!

156. But at what cost?

157. There's no way that's your body.

158. You cut and pasted your face.

159. This woman has six-pack abs.

160. - Count these. - Wow!

161. Look at Melinda's stomach.

162. It's amazing!

163. Melinda, no.

164. Pull down your shirt!

165. This is a workplace! So get back to work.

166. Hank, I need a picture for your profile.

167. Am I handsome?

168. Do hunters ask each other that question?

169. Time to go a-trufflin'!

170. Dang. I didn't know pigs could run like that.

171. It's a rental! After her!

172. This grill offers more than enough heat to do the job.

173. Hank, we need you to set up your profile.

174. Donna, I'm with a customer.

175. There's a billion potential customers online.

176. I think you need to deal with them first.

177. Get blogging!

178. Okay, Donna will help you.

179. Okay, so you can help me?

180. Of course I can!

181. Log on to www-dot-myspace-dot-com forward slash-strickpro.

182. You can pose questions there. Thank you.

183. "The new reverse thread on the dual intake portable propane

184. containers allows for…"

185. What is this?

186. Here, look at my page.

187. Maybe this will inspire you.

188. Good lord, Donna!

189. Deep breaths, Ladybird.

190. Deep breaths.

191. Sure Ladybird barks at me.

192. But she'll let any old riffraff in the backyard.

193. Peggy, I'm borrowing your dog to track down my pig.

194. If you'd like to borrow Joseph as collateral, I'm okay with that.

195. When you bring her back, just hose her down.

196. Hose Joseph too!

197. You told everyone, I'm a propane in the neck!

198. You're a propane in my neck!

199. You're one to talk, Enrique!

200. Your posts have offended everyone in this office!

201. Oh, please, Roger. You're just mad about those pictures.

202. No. My wife's mad about those pictures!

203. I was 30 days sober!

204. Everyone stop fighting!

205. Hank's right.

206. Save it for your blogs!

207. No! Our customers don't need to know about this.

208. This is exactly what the customers want to know about.

209. Hank, you don't understand how the "world" works anymore.

210. You don't get "my" generation.

211. We're the same age!

212. You just can't deal with the fact that I'm your equal now.

213. And as an assistant manager,

214. I'm gonna ask you for the last time to blog.

215. Fine, Donna.

216. You want me to blog what I'm thinking?

217. I'll blog what I'm thinking.

218. Good! Finally!

219. "Donna is an idiot." Post.

220. Thank you, Hank.

221. I'm sure my 4,000 friends will find that very interesting.

222. Oh, that's supposed to scare me, huh?

223. Are your 4,000 friends gonna come out of the computer and get me?

224. The people are not really in the computer, Hank.

225. That would be like "Poltergeist."

226. Ladybird'll find that pig.

227. She can find anything.

228. She has dug up every one of my goldfish we buried.

229. Ladybird is an amazing animal.

230. We probably don't even need that stupid pig.

231. I bet Ladybird could find the truffles.

232. Ladybird finds the truffles,

233. and we cut out the middleman!

234. Or in this case, the middle pig.

235. Bill, that's brilliant!

236. Thanks, Dale. That means a lot.

237. Now we just need to introduce Ladybird to the scent of truffles.

238. This food looks amazing.

239. You look amazing.

240. Would you like some truffles shaved on your pasta?

241. Of course. This night is about trying new things.

242. Sha!

243. Remember this smell.

244. And while you're at it, get a whiff of the wine.

245. There's money in that too.

246. Morning, Hank.

247. Donna.

248. We should probably talk about what happened yesterday.

249. Oh, Hank, what's done is done.

250. It's a new day.

251. Let's just move on.

252. Well, all right.

253. Well, look at that. It's almost 10 already.

254. What is going on out there?

255. It's called a "flash mob."

256. My 4,000 friends don't think I'm an idiot.

257. Hotdang! Look at all these people!

258. We got enough propane to supply all y'all!

259. That must be Hank! Get him!

260. Hey, wait! What…

261. No!

262. Good lord!

263. I can't believe this happened.

264. Donna, you're fired.

265. What? You can't fire me, Hank!

266. This is your fault!

267. I need supervision. It is in all of my reviews!

268. Shut up, Donna! You're fired!

269. Unbelievable!

270. You haven't seen the last of me!

271. You'll pay!

272. You'll all pay!

273. Well, the Strickland MySpace page is gone.

274. Now if you want to see Melinda drunk,

275. you got to go to The Chimneysweep after five.

276. Thank you, Roger.

277. Now we can finally get back to work.

278. What in the Sam Hill?

279. Uh-oh! It's back.

280. Roger, I thought you took this down?

281. I did, Hank! Someone must have put it back!

282. Strickland is no good!

283. Do not buy from Strickland!

284. Their propane is bad!

285. Turn it off!

286. Donna changed the password!

287. She controls the Strickland site now.

288. Unplug it!

289. That ain't gonna stop it!

290. Her powers are growing, honey!

291. We got to get ahold of Donna and talk some sense into her.

292. She's not in the company directory.

293. Donna was supposed to update it.

294. But I don't think she did.

295. What did Donna do around here?

296. Buck, where did you send her paychecks?

297. I paid her in cash.

298. It was simpler.

299. Well, someone's got to know where she lives.

300. I mean, she had that contest.

301. You know, the sleeping over.

302. - Oh, hell, I don't remember. - I was trashed.

303. Stoned, honey.

304. Death to Strickland!

305. Death to Strickland!

306. Death to Strickland!

307. Death to Strickland!

308. Sure Donna was a little lazy at work.

309. But she was never like this.

310. Maybe Ted Danson can talk some sense into her.

311. He has a way with the ladies.

312. And…

313. Ted's in!

314. I agree with you about Strickland, baby.

315. They are the worst, toots."

316. "Hello Hank. And Goodbye."

317. Mm. She's good.

318. Well, if we can't reach her through a new friend,

319. maybe we can use an old one.

320. Let's try…

321. Pete E Pete. He looks normal.

322. - Oh, God. - Okay.

323. How about this?

324. No!

325. Can this stuff hurt our computer?

326. All that's left are her blogs.

327. Maybe if you read them,

328. you can find something that will help locate her.

329. Dear God! She's written every day for the last four years.

330. No wonder she never got any work done at Strickland.

331. I'll make some coffee.

332. And he was a jerk

333. for not letting me use the full-service pump for self-service.

334. So I said, "If you want to play that game,

335. your eggs count as 12 items."

336. So you're in the wrong line too, wench!

337. A grande is only a little bigger than a tall.

338. Dogs are cool.

339. But cats are the coolest.

340. Anything?

341. No.

342. There's absolutely no information here.

343. Why don't you come to bed, Hank?

344. I'm gonna try to get through

345. another month.

346. This year,

347. I'll probably start wearing tons of purple.

348. Wingo! She's found something!

349. Back! Ladybird, back!

350. I can't let the dog eat it.

351. Bill, you finish the dig.

352. But don't eat it.

353. All right.

354. - Is it? - A truffle!

355. Hold on. Let me verify.

356. Wait a minute.

357. It's got blue and purple splotches.

358. And it smells iffy.

359. I think it's a magic mushroom.

360. No!

361. What's happening to it?

362. I think this pig is tripping!

363. Hang in there, rental pig.

364. Stay focused on me.

365. You're with friends.

366. This is a safe place.

367. Anything?

368. No. And I'm up to her last week.

369. And it's so weird that what I want changes every day.

370. Like today I think I want a baby.

371. But I'm not gonna tell David that at our date on Friday.

372. He's taking me to Goobersmooches.

373. OMG, fancy.

374. Maybe I'll forget to take the pill, winky smiley face, JK.

375. - I'm gonna wear… - Wait a minute.

376. I've got something.

377. She's got a date at Goobersmooches on Friday!

378. - That's today! - I know where it is!

379. Follow me!

380. We all know where it is, Enrique.

381. The date's tonight. We'll go after work.

382. I, I wanted to go now.

383. There she is, at the burger bar.

384. I'm heading to the fruit salad to make this burger Hawaiian style.

385. David, you're so funny!

386. Donna?

387. What the heck? What is this, Hank?

388. Your pathetic flash mob?

389. No, Donna.

390. We're your co-workers. And we want to talk to you.

391. So blog me.

392. No. We're real people.

393. And we're here to do this face to face.

394. Oh, well… Um.

395. Okay.

396. Now then, would you like to tell me why you're so angry?

397. I, uh, just felt like I wasn't taken seriously at work.

398. You never gave me anything to do.

399. You had plenty to do and you never did it.

400. Because you only gave me the boring stuff.

401. But you're an accountant! What the hell do you think you're gonna do?

402. I don't know.

403. Design stuff.

404. I'm creative.

405. Well, maybe you could have figured out some way to use that.

406. Like I know where you could get oven mitts that look like puppets.

407. And I have lots of other ideas too.

408. Donna, we could have worked everything out if we just talked about things,

409. instead of attacking each other behind a computer.

410. Strickland Propane is a family.

411. And like a family, we shouldn't know each other's inner thoughts.

412. That's what's so creepy about MySpace.

413. Donna, just come back to work, huh?

414. And take down that mean old site.

415. I'll see y'all Monday morning.

416. Aloha.

417. What's going on here?

418. David, listen.

419. I was only dating you because I thought I needed money.

420. But I just got my job back.

421. So… Mm…

422. I'm an alligator.

423. I heat hot things to protect hands.

424. Hank, I'm just about done reconfiguring the Strickland page.

425. Hey, that's my sell sheet.

426. But I don't know if that needs to be flashing.

427. Sure thing, boss.

428. Who wants to get kicked in the ding-dong?