King of the Hill 13x1

Directed by Ron Rubio

Breckin Meyer as Joseph Gribble (voice) • Jake Steinfeld as Thunder (voice) • David Herman as Army Doctor (voice) • Scott Klace as Dr. Weissman (voice) • Marissa Jaret Winokur as Nurse (voice)

Bill's love of sugary snacks causes diabetes. After a doctor tells Bill that he will lose his legs he decides to start using a wheelchair. Once he is wheelchair bound he finds camaraderie with Thunder, a wheelchair sports enthusiast. Things turn around for Bill until Thunder finds out that Bill does not really need the wheelchair.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. I'll have another giant lollipop,

2. my good man.

3. But this time put a wig on it.

4. I didn't know you could do that!

5. Yeah. I know all the secret menus, Bobby.

6. Like if you go just about anywhere and ask for a hugging cow,

7. you'll get a burger wrapped in pastrami.

8. Mister Dauterive, there is so much

9. I could learn from you.

10. - Dad? - No.

11. Go a little slower with the junk food, Bill.

12. Bill?

13. Bill?

14. Sergeant, you passed out from a blood-sugar spike.

15. Looks like you're in the early stages of adult-onset diabetes.

16. Diabetes?

17. That can't be right.

18. I've eaten lots of sugar my whole life, and nothing's ever happened to me.

19. Surely, you've noticed recent changes in your body.

20. Blurred vision, frequent urination, tingling in the hands and feet?

21. I just thought I was in love.

22. How did this happen?

23. Seriously?

24. Diabetes is very common among the obese.

25. For some people, there's even a genetic disposition.

26. Darn genes!

27. Diabetes is a very manageable disease.

28. If you do a better job with diet and exercise,

29. you'll stop it from progressing.

30. Yeah, genes!

31. Well, they say diabetes can happen to anyone.

32. And anyone usually means Bill.

33. My genes have been plotting to kill me since the day I was born.

34. Yeah. You keep talking about your genes. But what about your diet?

35. Hank, it's not my fault.

36. My pancreas went out on me.

37. Yes, it probably is.

38. You gotta start taking better care of yourself.

39. I just lose control when I'm around food!

40. I don't even know where this hot dog came from!

41. You gotta help me, Hank!

42. Okay, Bill.

43. I'll go with you to the grocery store.

44. But only if you're serious about changing your diet.

45. I know you only let me say it on Thanksgiving.

46. But I'm grateful for you, Hank.

47. But it's carrots!

48. We already went over this with the zucchini muffins.

49. Oh, I give up.

50. It's my mom's fault.

51. When I was sad, she'd give me cookies.

52. But when I was happy, she'd give me cookies!

53. All of my emotions demand cookies, Hank!

54. Let's see, for dinner,

55. I ate a lean chicken breast and broccoli.

56. One cookie.

57. You know, diabetics like him could really benefit

58. from some basic nutrition counseling.

59. Oh, that's an interesting theory.

60. But you know what I learned in med school?

61. Oh, that's right.

62. You weren't there.

63. You may see a diabetic.

64. But what I see is a diabetic

65. who will never get his act together.

66. Oh, I see that under "are you taking any medications," you wrote "Jell-O."

67. I wrote that so I wouldn't forget to ask.

68. Three, please.

69. You probably want me to say

70. that you can just diet and exercise your way out of this.

71. But two blood sugar spikes in a week, let's face it.

72. Sooner or later, this will kill you.

73. Probably sooner.

74. But what should I do?

75. Well, we have plenty of nice pamphlets that I'm sure you'll ignore.

76. But this is how I see your diabetes playing out.

77. First comes heart disease.

78. Then kidney failure.

79. Then blindness.

80. Oh, and you'll lose your legs to gangrene.

81. Wait.

82. Are you just giving me tough love?

83. Have you seen other doctors?

84. Yes.

85. Did they tell you to diet and exercise?

86. Yes.

87. Did you do it?

88. Here, take this.

89. You'll end up in a wheelchair anyway.

90. Might as well get one now while you still have good insurance.

91. You know, it's amazing

92. we never get sunburned.

93. Yup.

94. Mm-hm.

95. I can't believe Bill's

96. in the hospital again.

97. After all the time I spent with him grocery shopping.

98. What do you expect?

99. Bill can't keep his hands off the sweets.

100. He's just like "Winnie the Pooh", who also has diabetes.

101. Is that Bill?

102. Bill?

103. What the heck is going on?

104. Why are you in a wheelchair?

105. Oh, this? No, I'm okay.

106. I'm just gonna lose my legs and then die.

107. See you later.

108. Take with food.

109. Take without food.

110. It's all so confusing.

111. No one ever said the d-life was easy.

112. The d-life?

113. The diabetic life.

114. He probably has to use so many abbreviations

115. because there's so little time left.

116. I gotta tell you, Bill, I'm surprised your diabetes advanced so quickly.

117. As a diabetic American, you can never know what's coming your way.

118. Dr. Weissman said it's only a matter of time before I lose more than just legs.

119. Well, don't worry, buddy. We're here to take care of you.

120. Whatever you need.

121. And we're gonna start by retrofitting your house.

122. Thanks, guys.

123. I'm gonna go read my "Footprints in the Sand" poster now.

124. He's being so brave.

125. You should have seen him, Peggy.

126. You could never really describe Bill as able-bodied before.

127. But now it's not even an option.

128. Well, rest assured that diabetes is not happening to this family.

129. Which is why I've already made some changes at "La Cocina de Pe-hy."

130. Come on, Mom. I'm just a kid.

131. This carrot is just like that lollipop at the fair.

132. Only it has a wig of alfalfa sprouts instead of spun sugar.

133. And here's an onion.

134. This'd go a little easier if you'd give me a hand, buddy.

135. I don't want to go out!

136. Just drop me like God did.

137. Come on. We're gonna find you a nice wheelchair-friendly park.

138. Maybe just some really long pavement.

139. After I die, I want my ashes put in a snow globe, Hank.

140. Promise me that.

141. You're not gonna die, Bill.

142. We'll stop and get a new knob for your joystick.

143. I want an eight ball!

144. Push me!

145. I used to run and be free just like them.

146. Can you help me find a position of comfort, Hank?

147. Oh, we forgot your pillow in the truck. I'll be right back.

148. Hey, you want in?

149. Uh… No, thanks. I can't.

150. Not with that attitude, bro.

151. I'm Sam.

152. But I go by Rolling Thunder.

153. But I go by Thunder for short.

154. Wow.

155. I was gonna call you that before I even knew your name.

156. What's up with the electric wheelchair?

157. You should shake that Prius for something that runs on muscle.

158. Oh, no. My arms are all I've got left.

159. I want to use them as little as possible.

160. I'm not a fan of that kind of talk now.

161. Check out my ride.

162. Chrome, crushed velvet,

163. spinners, bumpers.

164. I'm in complete control, bro.

165. Check it out, huh?

166. I'm styling.

167. I'm profiling.

168. I'm styling and profiling.

169. Wow.

170. You just made walking seem lame.

171. Oh, yeah.

172. Come on. I got a spare one in the truck.

173. You can have it.

174. Wait! I, I can't!

175. Nice!

176. - Woo-hoo! - Ow!

177. Hey, ladies.

178. Come here and sit in my lap.

179. I'll pretend that I'm a massage chair.

180. He's cute.

181. You just talked to them.

182. Hey, hey, are you all right?

183. - Do you need help? - Did he ask you for help?

184. Oh, he's your attendant.

185. Yeah, I guess so.

186. I'm Hank.

187. Are you gonna propose to me or something?

188. You know, it's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.

189. What?

190. I have to go with him, Hank.

191. He called me bro.

192. Bill looks so happy.

193. Who would have guessed it was his legs that were holding him back?

194. Yup. Bill's been way more upbeat since he's been hanging out with Thunder.

195. He seems like a good guy.

196. I mean, he's pretty insulting to me personally but…

197. Hank, we're going out.

198. You want to come along?

199. Plenty of room in the back for an attendant.

200. Thunder, I'm gonna have to adjust this mirror

201. to get a better view of my amazing new pythons.

202. You know, I think I'll stay and attend to my beer.

203. That is if you don't need me.

204. Oh, yeah. We're okay.

205. We can take care of ourselves.

206. My life would be so different if my name was Thunder or Shawn.

207. Oh, hey!

208. Go talk to someone.

209. Women find guys in chairs non-threatening.

210. - Suckers. - I don't know.

211. My palms are sweaty.

212. I can hardly grip my wheels.

213. Woo-ee!

214. Hi.

215. Yeah, bring it around.

216. Whoo-hoo!

217. Oh, look at this delicious food my mom painstakingly Saran-wrapped for me.

218. My word!

219. It looks so tasty.

220. And yet, I am willing to trade.

221. Oh, I gotta have it!

222. Let's trade!

223. What is it?

224. It says it's seaweed.

225. No way, Jose.

226. But you generally like eating gross things!

227. I know.

228. It surprises me too.

229. Whoa!

230. Nice chair.

231. Question are those wheels angled for stability

232. or just to make you look cool?

233. Answer both.

234. Thanks, Dale.

235. Yeah. This chair is built for ramming into stuff.

236. Thunder gave me a spot on his rugby team.

237. Good for you, Bill.

238. Okay, we've lowered almost everything in your house by two feet.

239. And now we're gonna build you a ramp for the entryway.

240. Yeah, that's nice. But I decided I don't need a ramp anymore.

241. I was thinking maybe we'll build a basketball court instead.

242. Goddang, man, look at you.

243. Like a dang, like a dang old Lance Armstrong, man.

244. Getting on by on one, man.

245. Inspired, Bill.

246. Sometimes it's a man sitting down who stands the tallest.

247. It's deep.

248. Think about it.

249. Oh, maybe it's the other way around.

250. Yah!

251. Whoo-hoo.

252. All right, Bill!

253. Whoo!

254. Just because you've been cheated by life doesn't mean you can cheat on my court!

255. - All right… - Bill is really hustling out there.

256. This is amazing.

257. He never played rugby even when he had legs.

258. Huh! Gotcha!

259. Mm-mm.

260. Let's do that again.

261. I've never felt more alive than watching Bill feel more alive.

262. We fight to win!

263. Win, win, win!

264. We growl like bears!

265. We're Arlen Rugby!

266. So piss off and die!

267. Yeah! Whoo-hoo.

268. Yeah, baby!

269. Well, the old bladder's full.

270. I need to make room for more beer!

271. Bro?

272. No, wait! No!

273. I'm disabled like you!

274. I've got diabetes really bad!

275. I'll prove it!

276. "Normal." Very funny.

277. Very funny!

278. Are you pranking us?

279. Are you like that "Archton Karchner" or something?

280. What? That's strange.

281. I, I have diabetes.

282. I mean, I mean, not right now.

283. My, my sugar level's pretty good today.

284. What's going on?

285. I think that guy stole someone's wheelchair.

286. It's nice.

287. But I'm not sure if it says Bill yet.

288. Tsk. Let's give it a beer.

289. What is going on? You, you're walking?

290. Yeah, Hank. Just because he's a paraplegic doesn't mean his legs don't work.

291. - Wait a minute. - Yeah, I can walk.

292. And I lost my diabetes too.

293. - What? - I don't know what happened.

294. One minute I was all diabetic-y.

295. And now I'm fine.

296. I don't get it!

297. Dr. Weissman told me I was gonna lose my legs!

298. Hold on. I thought you already lost your legs.

299. I don't know!

300. My doctor told me to get a wheelchair!

301. When people yell at me, I do what they say!

302. So we did all this for nothing?

303. We've practically rebuilt your house, Bill.

304. And I literally dragged you all over town.

305. Oh, sure. Feel sorry for yourself.

306. You've never been handicapped.

307. Neither have you!

308. - d You can have me for your own again! d - Whee!

309. This is awkward and sad.

310. What is that?

311. Some plant called wheatgrass.

312. Wait. What is she doing?

313. Dude! She's gonna drink the ground!

314. Bobby!

315. Oh, there you are.

316. Snack time.

317. I can't watch you suffer anymore, dude.

318. Here. Have my candy bar.

319. Really?

320. Oh, thank God!

321. It's too sweet!

322. It's making my teeth itch!

323. Oh, my God!

324. You haven't had sugar all week!

325. And now you're not used to it anymore!

326. I, I can't eat it, Joseph.

327. Huh!

328. Not bad.

329. Man, dang ol' Bill, man. Pfft!

330. - You know… - I'm furious too, Boomhauer!

331. I can't drink in peace with Bill "standing" there like that.

332. Let's go.

333. I'm sorry, Hank.

334. I'd walk away. But that'd just remind me I can walk.

335. I don't know why you're so mopey, Bill.

336. You can walk again.

337. - You're cured. - No, you don't understand.

338. I had it all in that wheelchair.

339. Women paid attention to me.

340. Buses would lower themselves before me.

341. When I checked the mail, people would call it

342. "a triumph of the human spirit."

343. But now, nothing.

344. People only cared about me when I was disabled.

345. You know that's not true.

346. Then carry me, Hank.

347. - No. - Case closed.

348. Bill, people seemed to care about you more

349. because you were doing inspiring things in that wheelchair.

350. And how am I supposed to be "inspiring" with legs?

351. By running a marathon?

352. By climbing Mount Everest?

353. I can't climb Mount Everest.

354. It's already been done thousands of times.

355. What in the hell are you doing?

356. Why?

357. Why won't my sugar levels spike again, Hank?

358. I want things to be like before!

359. Cut it out! You'll end up in the hospital!

360. I know!

361. That's what I'm trying to do!

362. No! Not happening, bro.

363. All that exercise you got hanging out with me

364. got you in control of your diabetes.

365. - You're welcome. - Why'd you bring him here, Hank?

366. To rub it in?

367. I brought him here to talk some sense into you

368. because you're acting like a jackass.

369. I just wanted to be special and inspiring like you

370. and FDR and Larry Flynt!

371. Bro, you cured yourself!

372. That's pretty inspiring.

373. That's right.

374. Dr. Weissman said you'd never walk again.

375. He told you to give up.

376. And you didn't.

377. You beat diabetes, Bill.

378. Someone'll probably write a whole pamphlet about you.

379. You know, if I were you,

380. the first thing I'd do with my legs is stand up and kick your doctor's ass.

381. But for the record, I don't need legs to kick anyone's ass.

382. Dr. Weissman,

383. my friend Bill

384. would like to register a complaint.

385. Ooh.

386. Are you upset or something?

387. I said you had diabetes, not cry-abetes.

388. You told me I was gonna lose my legs!

389. No.

390. I said your legs could fail one day, possibly.

391. I never said anything that could constitute malpractice

392. under its current definition.

393. Mm-hm. My legs work just fine.

394. Isn't that inspiring?

395. Uh.

396. My friend is just, uh…

397. I don't hear a thing.