1. Oh, look at Hank Hill
concentrate.
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2. His mind
a total blank.
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3. He is in a state
of redneck transcendence.
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4. Such a shame someone
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5. with so much discipline
not have more ambition.
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6. Firm, but with a little give.
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7. Yup, these are medium-rare.
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8. What if somebody wants theirs
well-done?
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9. We ask them politely,
yet firmly to leave.
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10. With great meat, son,
comes great responsibility.
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11. Dig in, everybody!
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12. All right!
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13. Yum!
It's about time.
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14. This is gonna be
delicious.
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15. I only wish
I had as many stomachs
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16. as the animal
I'm about to consume.
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17. I can't tell if I'm starving
or not hungry at all.
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18. Guess we'll see.
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19. What the...?
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20. Peggy, how's your steak?
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21. It's... good.
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22. Not too tough?
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23. Uh-uh.
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24. Bill, your steak— how is it?
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25. Mm-hmm.
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26. Can I help you?
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27. Well, I hope so.
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28. I bought some steaks here
yesterday,
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29. and they weren't very good.
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30. Maybe you cooked
them wrong.
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31. Uh, you don't know me,
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32. so I'll pretend
I didn't hear that.
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33. I'm gonna have to ask
to talk to the head butcher.
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34. We don't actually have
a butcher anymore.
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35. Our meat comes
pre-wrapped.
Ugh!
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36. Dang it, I just want
a good steak.
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37. You could try our organic
line, Mega-Lorganic,
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38. but I think that's
just the same stuff
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39. with a different label.
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40. Psst!
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41. Dude, if you're looking for
good meat, I can hook you up.
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42. Appleseed?
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43. How do you know my name?
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44. It's me, Hank.
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45. Uh, we spent a week
together in the woods.
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46. You lived in my
neighbor's house.
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47. Woods? Neighbors?
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48. That does sound like me.
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49. You got to shop
at the co-op, Hank.
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50. All their meat is organic,
grass-fed and prime.
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51. It's on the corner
of Route 2 and Vista.
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52. Co-op, huh?
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53. All those VWs
in the parking lot,
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54. I just assumed
it was a Unitarian church.
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55. Uh, I'm looking
for your meat department.
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56. Make a left at
the goji berries.
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57. If you reach the spelt,
you've gone too far.
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58. Oh, this better be good steak.
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59. It's beautiful.
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60. When you see something
you like, let me know.
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61. I'll cut it as thick
as you want.
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62. Sir, if it wasn't covered
in blood, I'd shake your hand.
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63. I'll take four...
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64. I'm afraid we can't
sell you that.
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65. What?
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66. Steve Greene,
co-op founder.
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67. Hank Hill, paying customer.
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68. You have to be a member
to shop here, Hank.
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69. Really?
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70. I'm a member of Triple A.
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71. That doesn't help.
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72. Are you sure? It's opened up
a lot of doors in the past.
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73. You see, Hank,
we're a non-profit.
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74. All of our members
are co-owners,
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75. and are required
to pay a small fee.
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76. You also have to volunteer
here a few hours a month.
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77. You got me over a barrel, Steve.
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78. Okay, I'll join.
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79. Great! I'll get
an application.
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80. But it'll take a
few days to process.
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81. The guy who does that
is on a vision quest.
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82. Appleseed?
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83. Uh, I need your help.
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84. I want to get some meat,
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85. but I don't have
the, uh, proper ID.
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86. Hey, Hank, I
got the meat.
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87. Shh!
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88. I got some other
stuff, too.
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89. Heirloom tomatoes,
organic carrots
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90. and some hemp
toilet paper.
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91. Are you trying
to frame me?
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92. Well, it cuts good.
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93. Consistent grain pattern.
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94. Well, here it goes.
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95. So? Is it good?
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96. The suspense is killing me.
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97. It's the best steak
I have ever eaten.
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98. Peggy, I think
we need to say grace again.
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99. Mmm. These potatoes are great!
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100. The tot is no longer
my favorite kind of tater.
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101. And this tomato
is delicious, too!
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102. This is a tomato?
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103. I thought it was a heaven ball.
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104. You two aren't making any sense.
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105. Tomatoes don't have any flavor.
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106. Mmm.
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107. Hank, if this is food,
what have we been eating?
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108. Welcome back, Hank.
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109. Appleseed needs a hand in back.
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110. Our other stock person
didn't show up.
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111. He had a good excuse, though:
he flaked.
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112. Well, I usually reserve
this compliment for my wife,
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113. but this food is
downright handsome.
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114. All these berries need to go out
to the produce section.
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115. Guess we should get to work.
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116. You're only taking
one pint at a time?
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117. Right.
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118. I've got two hands, don't I?
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119. We should stack the boxes
on that hand truck.
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120. That way, it'll only
take a couple trips,
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121. and one of us
could be doing that
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122. while the other one
can stack the display.
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123. Hank, I think
you might be... the one.
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124. Well, that's the
last of them.
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125. What on earth is
Sunshine doing?
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126. An interpretive dance
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127. to entertain people
waiting in line.
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128. Uh,
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129. you know, if you want
people to get through
the line faster,
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130. we could open up
a second register.
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131. Wow!
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132. Can anyone here operate
a hydraulic power loader?
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133. Uh, oh.
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134. Am I really the only one?
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135. We need to pick up
some produce from our farm.
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136. Don't take any steep hills.
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137. The truck runs on vegetable oil.
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138. Ah... manure.
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139. You're from
the co-op?
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140. Yes, sir. Hank Hill.
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141. So this is
where my dinner came from.
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142. These animals live better
than most people I know.
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143. Yep. See, the steaks you buy
at a grocery store
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144. come from penned-up steer.
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145. Th-They feed 'em antibiotics
and little bits of other cows
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146. and that makes them unhappy.
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147. Well, it'd make me
unhappy.
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148. And it makes them
taste terrible.
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149. Boy, it sure does.
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150. Our steer get to roam around
in the sunshine.
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151. They drink fresh water
from that stream over there.
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152. Trust me, the happier the steer,
the better they taste.
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153. They all look delicious.
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154. You sure have been
spending a lot of time
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155. with your new hippie
friends, Hank.
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156. Tell me, are you wearing
tie-dye underwear?
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157. Are you wearing
any underwear at all?
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158. Guys, I am not now,
nor will I ever be, a hippie.
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159. I don't trust
hippies.
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160. They talk about free love,
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161. but when it comes time
to get down to business,
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162. they've always got an excuse.
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163. Okay, that's enough.
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164. The people
at the co-op are okay.
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165. Sure, they dress
a little funny and...
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166. the puns about food
get a little tiring:
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167. peanut better,
fakin' bacon, turkey burger—
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168. but they sell good food.
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169. Leave 'em
alone.
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170. So... do they start every
day with a drum circle?
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171. I don't want to talk about it.
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172. And that's how
you rotate stock.
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173. Steve, something's wrong.
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174. What is it?
Are you having flashbacks?
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175. Because I am real.
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176. It's the register.
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177. I think it's broken.
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178. Seems fine to me.
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179. But, look,
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180. it's got all that
extra money in there.
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181. That doesn't make sense.
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182. We already paid
all the suppliers.
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183. Well, then, I guess
that "extra money" is profit.
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184. Pr-Profit?
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185. No.
I touched it.
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186. What?
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187. I don't understand
the problem here.
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188. Hank, we're a non-profit.
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189. We need to sort this out.
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190. Appleseed, lock the doors.
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191. We've never made
money before.
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192. What do we do?
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193. I got it. Let's break all
the windows in the store.
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194. We'll need to use the
profit to fix them.
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195. Problem solved, man.
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196. No, wait.
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197. What are you doing?
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198. Being part
of the solution.
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199. She's right.
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200. I've seen what money does
to people.
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201. Pretty soon we'll all be flying
around in helicopters
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202. and getting $30 haircuts.
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203. Guys, profit doesn't have
to be a bad thing.
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204. You don't have to use the
money to improve your lives.
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205. We can use it
to improve the store.
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206. How's that?
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207. Well, most of our carts
have broken wheels.
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208. We could fix them.
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209. And maybe we could
get a better sign—
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210. something people can
see from the road.
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211. Yeah, man,
random acts of kindness.
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212. No, not at all.
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213. And we could stop
charging a membership fee.
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214. That way, we'll be helping
more people get access
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215. to good food.
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216. How heavy is your head, Hank?
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217. You want a burrito
from the lunch truck, honey?
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218. No, thanks, I packed a sandwich.
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219. Looks fancy.
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220. You got to go to Hollywood
for that sandwich, Hank,
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221. or does Erik Estrada
deliver it for you?
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222. You've got
a phone call.
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223. Hello?
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224. Appleseed, I can't come
to the co-op right now. I...
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225. Oh, okay, I'm on my way.
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226. What's going on?
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227. I had to take a third
of a personal day.
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228. Check out the guy
by the wheat-free pastas.
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229. Is he shoplifting?
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230. It's worse than that.
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231. Look at him
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232. with his fancy phone
and his pleats.
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233. People like him have
been coming in all day.
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234. So?
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235. They're ruining
the vibe, Hank.
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236. Yeah, Hank, the
vibe's shot to hell.
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237. Guys, I was at work.
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238. We opened the door
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239. and the establishment
marched right in.
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240. We need to get these
yuppies out of here.
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241. What? No.
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242. That's not how you run
a business.
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243. You can't just sell
to people you like.
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244. His shoes have tassels.
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245. I don't like them
any more than you do,
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246. but when I look at that guy,
I don't see tassels.
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247. I see someone
who's tired
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248. of eating industrialized,
tasteless meat and produce.
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249. That's what makes
this co-op special.
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250. How could I be
so intolerant?
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251. Don't look now, Hank,
but you just fixed our vibe.
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252. Ting!
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253. This is so cool.
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254. How do you know
when a cow is ripe?
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255. Do you squeeze it?
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256. Well, you don't want to do
anything to upset them, Bobby.
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257. Just talk to them.
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258. To them, our conversation
is like tenderizer.
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259. Oh, since
we're here,
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260. I'm gonna go pick
more of those peaches.
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261. That last batch was so juicy
I had to eat over a bucket.
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262. Then I drank from the bucket
and giggled like a schoolgirl.
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263. Morning, Hank.
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264. Say good-bye
to Victor over there.
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265. I'm taking him
to the slaughterhouse.
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266. Well, okay, but it's not
so much "good-bye"
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267. as it is
"see you later."
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268. Delicious!
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269. Hank, this
steak so tender
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270. it's like somebody
already chewed it for me.
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271. Here's
my indecent proposal.
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272. I spend one night
with wrinkly Robert Redford
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273. for one million ears of corn.
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274. I don't like eating corn
without corn-holders.
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275. Oh, wait,
these are corn-holders.
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276. I've got potato salad.
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277. And I've got
a mouth!
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278. Hank, Hank!
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279. Appleseed,
what are you doing here?
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280. There's trouble at the co-op.
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281. It's Mega-Lo Mart.
They're trying to buy us out.
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282. What? No!
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283. Wow, he's like a human
version of Lassie.
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284. They want to buy
the store, the farm,
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285. the trucks,
everything,
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286. and they want an
answer by tomorrow.
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287. Well, we don't want
to wait until then.
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288. Call them now
and say no.
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289. Yeah, uh...
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290. we're, we're thinking
we're going to sell, Hank.
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291. What?
It's a pretty
generous offer
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292. and as co-owners
we all get a cut.
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293. I'm going to give my money
to good causes—
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294. people who plant trees
and set fire to SUVs.
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295. But Mega-Lo Mart
will ruin this place.
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296. They're not going
to take the time
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297. to feed the cows alfalfa
if their tummies ache
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298. or sift through the cows'
scat for signs of trouble
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299. or massage the steer to
keep the flanks supple.
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300. Mega-Lo Mart's too big.
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301. Maybe their size will help.
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302. Like you said, Hank: "More
good food for more people."
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303. Well, I want no part of it,
and neither does Appleseed.
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304. Right, Appleseed?
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305. I need new
shoes, Hank.
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306. I thought we all cared
about this place.
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307. I guess I'm the only one.
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308. If I believed in karma,
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309. I'd be really worried
about you guys.
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310. I can't taste anything.
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311. I feel like I'm eating
with a mitten on my tongue.
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312. I guess there are some things
even Mrs. Dash can't fix.
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313. Let's just focus
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314. on the task at hand
and push through this.
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315. Your father is right.
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316. We will forget what food
tastes like soon enough.
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317. Maybe it would help
if we ate in front of the TV.
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318. Dad, that guy's back.
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319. Hank, Hank,
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320. you were right
about Mega-Lorganic,
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321. but it's worse than you thought.
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322. What are you talking about?
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323. It's just as industrialized
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324. as the rest of Mega-Lo Mart.
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325. I saw pictures on the Internet
of where they keep their cows.
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326. They're like prison cells.
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327. Being a cow isn't a crime.
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328. We've got to talk to Steve.
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329. Uh, Appleseed, I was
in the middle of eating my...
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330. Eh, I'll drive.
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331. What have they done
to this place?
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332. No, the meat, too?
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333. It doesn't look like
it was ever alive.
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334. Steve, we have to do something.
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335. Mega-Lo Mart
is ruining this place.
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336. And you should see
the conditions
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337. their cows are living in.
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338. Look, it's not the way
I'd run things,
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339. but it's still
technically organic.
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340. Well, it might be organic,
but it's awful.
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341. How does Sal feel about this?
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342. Uh, we don't have
a butcher anymore.
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343. Sal took his profits
and bought a condo
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344. on a cruise ship
you can live on.
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345. How cute, my new phone
reminded me
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346. I have a dentist
appointment.
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347. Thank you, phone.
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348. We can't stand for this.
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349. You're right.
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350. We should make
signs and protest
Copy !req
351. and ask people
to sign a petition.
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352. No, Appleseed.
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353. We're gonna do something
that makes a difference.
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354. I'll get the cattle
and put them in the trailer.
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355. Should I steal the plants?
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356. We're not stealing.
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357. We're co-owners of this farm
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358. and we're not taking
any profits from this sale.
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359. We're just taking what's ours,
our fair share.
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360. Then why are we
doing it at night?
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361. And why did you drive
with your headlights off?
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362. Just go grab a couple chickens.
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363. Right.
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364. It's okay.
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365. It's me, Hank.
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366. Aggh! Hank!
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367. Cows! Thank you, Dad!
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368. Can I draw the meat parts
on them with a Sharpie?
Copy !req
369. Hank, are you crazy?
Copy !req
370. We cannot have livestock
in our backyard.
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371. I'm not even sure
it's legal.
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372. We can't possibly
be zoned for this.
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373. I don't care, Peggy.
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374. I'll turn the shed
into a chicken coop
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375. and use the garage as a barn.
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376. If we give the cows
some private time,
Copy !req
377. soon we should
have a hundred head.
Copy !req
378. Hundred head?
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379. We barely have
enough room back here
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380. for a proper game
of badminton, Hank.
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381. Well, we'll have
to knock down the fence
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382. to Dale's yard
so they can graze.
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383. And we'll need to find
a butcher who can keep a secret.
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384. You've lost your mind.
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385. Maybe we can keep a chicken.
Maybe.
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386. Come on, Peggy, please?
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387. I'll let you name them.
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388. You've got all those great names
you've been waiting to use.
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389. Okay, let's give it a try.
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390. Guys, stop trying to tip my cow.
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391. Your mission is
futile, Hank Hill.
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392. Even if you block view,
I still have better house,
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393. a better car, better wife.
Copy !req
394. Oh, face it: I just better.
Copy !req
395. What the heck was that?
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396. You got a cow?
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397. Uh, a cow?
Copy !req
398. Why would I have a cow
in my backyard, Kahn?
Copy !req
399. I don't know.
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400. Why does Bill use T-shirt
as car seat cover?
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401. Why do rednecks do anything?
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402. Sure smell like cow.
Copy !req
403. Yes, well, you see,
that's, uh...
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404. Oh, that's me!
I smell like cow.
Copy !req
405. Okay, yeah, I guess you do.
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406. That's right, yeah,
200 pounds of cattle feed.
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407. Y-yes, that's
the correct address.
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408. It's a residence.
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409. Are you selling feed
or are you asking questions?
Copy !req
410. Tomorrow morning,
we find out
Copy !req
411. if a Martha tastes different
from a Mrs. Peckingham.
Copy !req
412. Cows! I knew it!
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413. Oh, Lord.
Copy !req
414. Look what these cows
did to my yard!
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415. I'll fix it, Kahn.
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416. I'll take care of everything.
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417. You got chickens too?
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418. I reporting you!
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419. No, wait!
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420. Do you like
good meat, Kahn?
Copy !req
421. You trying to buy
me off, Hank Hill?
Copy !req
422. No way. I'm calling cops.
Copy !req
423. Well, you go ahead.
Copy !req
424. I've got nothing to fear!
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425. I've done nothing wrong!
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426. Appleseed, get over here quick.
Copy !req
427. Kahn called the police.
Copy !req
428. They'll be here soon.
Copy !req
429. You've got to get
these cattle out of here.
Copy !req
430. But where should I go?
Copy !req
431. Someplace where no one
will find you.
Copy !req
432. Find a field
where they can graze.
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433. Find a stream
where they can drink.
Copy !req
434. It's the only way
to keep our dream alive.
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435. Go, and write me when
you think it's safe.
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436. I... I'm scared, Hank.
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437. There's no time to waste.
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438. Go on, now. Get!
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439. Run, Appleseed, run!
Copy !req
440. Well, at least our tomato crop
has started to come in.
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441. Yeah, that's something.
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442. Delicious.
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443. It's the best steak
I have ever eaten.
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