1. Yup.
Copy !req
2. Yup.
Copy !req
3. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
4. Hey, hillbillies,
Copy !req
5. my delinquent nephew
coming to town.
Copy !req
6. Don't buy him beer!
Copy !req
7. I know rednecks like
to buy beer for kids.
Copy !req
8. He'll ask. He like to party.
Copy !req
9. Don't buy him beer!
Copy !req
10. Hey, you guys want
to come
Copy !req
11. to my vernal equinox party
tomorrow?
Copy !req
12. No.
Copy !req
13. Before you answer,
remember,
Copy !req
14. the vernal equinox is
when the stars align
Copy !req
15. in the configuration of an
arrow pointing to earth,
Copy !req
16. as if to say, "Come visit here."
Copy !req
17. I'll read a thoughtful essay.
Copy !req
18. We'll shriek ceremoniously
and eat tapas!
Copy !req
19. God, no.
Copy !req
20. Hey, guys!
Copy !req
21. Ow!
Copy !req
22. My knee!
Copy !req
23. Bill, you got
to promise me
Copy !req
24. you won't do that
in front of the aliens.
Copy !req
25. They hate
slapstick.
Copy !req
26. Nancy,
Copy !req
27. have you begun
making the tapas?
Copy !req
28. This will be the visitors'
first experience
Copy !req
29. with food
on this planet.
Copy !req
30. I want them
to have a little taste
Copy !req
31. of everything.
Copy !req
32. Is this going to shrink down?
Copy !req
33. This is huge!
Copy !req
34. What-What will I
tell the aliens?
Copy !req
35. "I hope you like this,
because if you don't,
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36. there's
nothing else?"
Copy !req
37. Dale, I'm doing
the best I can.
Copy !req
38. I'm sorry I don't know
alien protocol.
Copy !req
39. Come on, seven!
Copy !req
40. Seven!
Copy !req
41. That's the third seven in a row
you've blown out of your nose.
Copy !req
42. You're amazing!
Copy !req
43. It's either lucky dice
or a lucky nose.
Copy !req
44. There's only one way
to find out.
Copy !req
45. Boys, please
stop that!
Copy !req
46. I don't have time to take anyone
to the emergency room!
Copy !req
47. Oh, that must be, uh, Minh.
Copy !req
48. Now, be sure you've
got your phone off
Copy !req
49. when the aliens
get here.
Copy !req
50. It could startle
them, which could
result in our death.
Copy !req
51. Not to mention,
it's pretty rude.
Copy !req
52. Hey, Nancy,
did you know
Copy !req
53. that John Redcorn, the
children's musician,
Copy !req
54. has been trying
to reach you here
at the station?
Copy !req
55. Well, I-I have no idea why.
Copy !req
56. I barely know that guy.
Copy !req
57. Well, he seems
to know you.
Copy !req
58. I want you to do
a feature on him.
Copy !req
59. What? But I do news.
Copy !req
60. We're moving you off
the news desk to features.
Copy !req
61. It seems, people aren't
interested in hard news anymore.
Copy !req
62. They say it's boring
and makes them sad.
Copy !req
63. That is not my fault.
Copy !req
64. I always said
we shouldn't do the sad stuff.
Copy !req
65. No, people love you.
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66. Look at this mail.
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67. "We love the
blonde woman."
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68. And, "Nancy real good."
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69. And, "I want to
lay with blondie."
Copy !req
70. Really? Oh, that's
flattering!
Copy !req
71. But, um, shouldn't I start
Copy !req
72. with a better get
than John Redcorn?
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73. No, Redcorn's hot.
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74. He's burning up
the pre-tween market.
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75. And can you see if he'll
play my stepkid's birthday?
Copy !req
76. Of course, I get stuck
organizing the party
Copy !req
77. because my stepkid's
real dad's too busy.
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78. Too busy? Too drunk!
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79. And... it's equinox!
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80. Gih!
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81. Alien?
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82. Aa-len.
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83. Alien.
Copy !req
84. Oh, my God, it worked!
Copy !req
85. Your language— it's beautiful!
Copy !req
86. You want me to
get in there?
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87. Okay, okay, I'll get in.
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88. Good-bye, Earth!
Copy !req
89. 2048.
Copy !req
90. Hey, your clock's
on military time.
Copy !req
91. Why would you
have milita...?
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92. Oh, my God!
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93. That's not the time.
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94. That's the year!
Copy !req
95. You're not an alien.
You're a time traveler!
Copy !req
96. Let me out of this thing! Eject!
Copy !req
97. Oh, I'm so glad
Copy !req
98. that your regular makeup
lady got meningitis
Copy !req
99. so I can do
your makeups.
Copy !req
100. That's great, sug.
Copy !req
101. Did you
get a cat?
Copy !req
102. A blonde cat?
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103. Um, no.
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104. I don't have a cat.
Copy !req
105. Nancy.
Copy !req
106. John Redcorn.
Copy !req
107. Go, Nancy.
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108. I'm Nancy Hicks-Gribble,
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109. reporting live from
Captain Bear's Pizza.
Copy !req
110. John Redcorn,
Copy !req
111. you enchant Arlen's children
and tweens.
Copy !req
112. Tell me
about your personal style.
Copy !req
113. I wore this vest
especially for you.
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114. This is the Native American
symbol for forbidden love.
Copy !req
115. Oh.
Copy !req
116. Well, that's a fun fact.
Copy !req
117. Um, speaking
of fun,
Copy !req
118. what's your favorite
local hot spot?
Copy !req
119. Remember when
we found your hot spot?
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120. Bobby, room.
Copy !req
121. But he's getting out his guitar.
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122. Now!
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123. You better call me
if he sings "The Oatmeal Blues."
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124. I hope for Dale's sake
this isn't what it looks like.
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125. The... rekindling and whatnot.
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126. Nancy swore to me
she would never whatnot
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127. with that man again.
Copy !req
128. Guitar playing is about
strumming the instrument
Copy !req
129. in many intimate ways.
Copy !req
130. I caress the strings
gently with a feather.
Copy !req
131. For Channel 84, I'm
Nancy Hicks-Gribble.
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132. Good night!
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133. And... clear.
Copy !req
134. Luanne, would
you help me
Copy !req
135. with this earpiece?
Here.
Copy !req
136. Let me help you.
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137. Is that my hair?
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138. You always did
make me feel strong.
Copy !req
139. I've done it!
Copy !req
140. I've traveled to 2048!
Copy !req
141. Al Gore was right.
Copy !req
142. I wonder what ocean
this used to be.
Copy !req
143. And man has devolved
back to crawling.
Copy !req
144. No, wait, that's just me.
Copy !req
145. It's times like this I wish
Copy !req
146. I had a friend
named The Professor.
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147. Note to self: don't make
too many notes to self.
Copy !req
148. Probably can't
get more cassettes.
Copy !req
149. So, they changed the name
of Arlen to Fartland.
Copy !req
150. Oh, cold, hilarious fate.
Copy !req
151. What happened here that would
make them do such a thing?
Copy !req
152. What can I do
for you today?
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153. Your lips are looking
a bit thin.
Copy !req
154. You want me to plump them up
with some more of your butt fat?
Copy !req
155. Well, sure, but first,
could you look at my hair?
Copy !req
156. I think it's been
falling out lately.
Copy !req
157. Hmm. Hair's tough.
Copy !req
158. Let me try something.
Copy !req
159. Well, that should have hurt.
Copy !req
160. What's happening to me?
Copy !req
161. Well, it's difficult
to determine the cause
Copy !req
162. of female hair loss, and
Copy !req
163. then it's hard to cure.
Copy !req
164. So, what should I do?
Copy !req
165. Well, there are some
shampoos on the market
Copy !req
166. with outrageous claims.
Copy !req
167. You could try those,
Copy !req
168. but if they don't
work, you should be
prepared for this.
Copy !req
169. See, right now, you're... here.
Copy !req
170. In six months, you'll be...
Copy !req
171. here.
Copy !req
172. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
173. Oh, I tried
it again.
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174. You're definitely
losing your hair.
Copy !req
175. What are you doing
here, John Redcorn?
Copy !req
176. I wrote a song for you.
Copy !req
177. It's about a beautiful tree
named Fancy.
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178. Ignore the end.
Copy !req
179. The tree becomes a home
for a squirrel
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180. with body image issues.
Copy !req
181. I'm sorry, John Redcorn,
but you've got to go.
Copy !req
182. We broke up already.
Copy !req
183. It was hard,
but it's done.
Copy !req
184. Please, Nancy.
Don't we owe it
Copy !req
185. to ourselves
to be happy?
Copy !req
186. What's John Redcorn
doing here?
Copy !req
187. Don't be obvious,
but look over
Copy !req
188. at my 1:00, your 6:30.
Copy !req
189. Dang it, Boomhauer.
I said don't be obvious!
Copy !req
190. I thought that whole business
was over with.
Copy !req
191. Of course I still
have that arrowhead.
Copy !req
192. Huh.
Copy !req
193. I thought in the future,
there'd be more things hovering.
Copy !req
194. You must be
Hank's grandson.
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195. I knew your grandfather.
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196. He was, hmm... okay.
Copy !req
197. A little jowlier
than you.
Copy !req
198. Cut that out.
Copy !req
199. Hey, guys.
Copy !req
200. Ow!
Copy !req
201. My knee!
Copy !req
202. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
203. Bill's about to say, "I'm okay!"
Copy !req
204. I'm okay.
Copy !req
205. Wait.
Copy !req
206. I wasn't transported
to the future.
Copy !req
207. I've been transported
to the past.
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208. Yesterday!
Copy !req
209. Oh, God, that's
under the vest.
Copy !req
210. Oh, no!
Copy !req
211. We can't let
this happen.
Copy !req
212. If Nancy sees him
spouting all this nonsense,
Copy !req
213. it's just going
to drive her back
to John Redcorn.
Copy !req
214. Yeah, well, man, she
ain't got too got-dang
ol' far to go, man.
Copy !req
215. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
216. If this is yesterday,
then I could...
Copy !req
217. run into myself.
Copy !req
218. If that happens,
Copy !req
219. the space/time continuum
will be compromised,
Copy !req
220. and the world will explode!
Copy !req
221. You know, Dale,
we should probably keep this
time travel stuff between us,
Copy !req
222. because if the government
finds out, they'll, uh...
Copy !req
223. They'll do what, uh,
you know, the government does.
Copy !req
224. Those bastards!
You're right.
Copy !req
225. I think the other me
is close by.
Copy !req
226. I hear the sound of my voice.
Copy !req
227. If I ask, I was never here.
Copy !req
228. DR.
Nancy,
Copy !req
229. your test results show
there's no medical reason
Copy !req
230. for your hair loss.
Copy !req
231. Your iron level is normal;
Copy !req
232. your glands all secrete
perfectly;
Copy !req
233. and your heart is
in excellent condition.
Copy !req
234. I don't care about my heart.
Copy !req
235. My heart isn't admired
on television!
Copy !req
236. My heart wasn't voted "prettiest
heart" in high school!
Copy !req
237. My heart isn't so high and thick
Copy !req
238. it once had a low-flying bird
get stuck in it!
Copy !req
239. Nancy, female hair loss
is not uncommon.
Copy !req
240. It's usually caused
by stress or heredity.
Copy !req
241. Well, it must
be stress.
Copy !req
242. The hair in my family gets
bigger every generation.
Copy !req
243. Well, in that case,
Copy !req
244. I've got some great
anti-anxiety medications
Copy !req
245. I can prescribe.
Copy !req
246. Let's go
to Dr. Schiffie's cabinet,
Copy !req
247. see what we
can do.
Copy !req
248. Oh, you're really
going to like these.
Copy !req
249. Alakazam!
Copy !req
250. Alprazolam!
Copy !req
251. This scarf is so pretty.
Copy !req
252. Do you think
it thinks I'm pretty?
Copy !req
253. Man, these pills are great.
Copy !req
254. So doctor say hair loss caused
Copy !req
255. by something stressing you out?
Copy !req
256. I say it toss up
Copy !req
257. between idiot husband
and idiot son.
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258. Who you love and
don't want to hurt.
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259. I should wait in the car.
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260. I don't want my baby
to catch your stress
Copy !req
261. I am not giving birth
to a bald baby.
Copy !req
262. You think I'd be stressed out,
but I'm not.
Copy !req
263. I feel freaking fantastic.
Copy !req
264. You know, I'm addicted
to these pills.
Copy !req
265. Well, if it's not stress,
it must be heredity.
Copy !req
266. I know what I have to do.
Copy !req
267. What the heck are you wearing?
Copy !req
268. I'm going spelunking.
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269. I've got an extra headlamp
and backpack thingy
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270. with your name
on it...
Copy !req
271. in masking tape.
Copy !req
272. You interested?
Copy !req
273. No.
Copy !req
274. Neither am I.
Copy !req
275. That's why I know I won't
run into myself there.
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276. And after this...
Copy !req
277. ice dancing.
Copy !req
278. And then, flossing!
Copy !req
279. Sorry to just drop in
on you like this, Mom.
Copy !req
280. I lost my cell phone.
Copy !req
281. I've had the worst week.
Copy !req
282. You've had a hard week.
Copy !req
283. My foot bath died.
Copy !req
284. Then I had another one
of my recipes stolen.
Copy !req
285. Mother, please.
Just listen to me.
Copy !req
286. Oh, all right.
Copy !req
287. But Mommy needs her Xanax first.
Copy !req
288. You want one?
Copy !req
289. No. No.
Copy !req
290. Well...
Copy !req
291. no.
Copy !req
292. Look, I've lost...
some hair recently,
Copy !req
293. and I was wondering
Copy !req
294. if female hair loss runs
in our family at all.
Copy !req
295. Bless me for being so honest
and such a good mother.
Copy !req
296. Sugarbear, truth is:
my hair fell out long ago.
Copy !req
297. This is a wig.
Copy !req
298. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
299. Don't tell your father.
Copy !req
300. So, it is hereditary.
Copy !req
301. Not exactly.
Copy !req
302. We're not so dissimilar,
you and I.
Copy !req
303. Did I ever tell you
about Frank Torres?
Copy !req
304. Your life-drawing teacher?
Copy !req
305. I remember every day of the ten
years we shared our secret love.
Copy !req
306. Our affair was like floating
on a cloud made of a rainbow;
Copy !req
307. our lovemaking, exciting,
but virtually motionless.
Copy !req
308. I-I can't believe
what I'm hearing!
Copy !req
309. Frank. How he loved
to dance wildly
to no music at all,
Copy !req
310. just the sound
of the pounding
Copy !req
311. of his fist
on his leg.
Copy !req
312. All right,
Copy !req
313. you've made your dramatic speech
for the night.
Copy !req
314. Can we get back
to my problem now?
Copy !req
315. Sugarbear,
Copy !req
316. I mention all this
Copy !req
317. because the stress
of ending my affair with Frank
Copy !req
318. is what brought on my hair loss.
Copy !req
319. What?
Copy !req
320. By the time
my shrink discovered
Copy !req
321. my subconscious yearning
was to blame,
Copy !req
322. it was too late
to get him back:
Copy !req
323. he died.
Copy !req
324. Just like my old foot bath.
Copy !req
325. So, what you're
telling me is...
Copy !req
326. if I want my hair back,
Copy !req
327. I have to get back together
with John Redcorn?
Copy !req
328. Or you'll regret it
for the rest of your life.
Copy !req
329. Hey, Hank Hill,
Copy !req
330. my nephew missing.
Copy !req
331. If you see 17-year-old
Copy !req
332. in tricked-out hot rod,
call the police.
Copy !req
333. I always do.
Copy !req
334. Hey, Nancy!
Copy !req
335. I'm off
to lifeguard school
Copy !req
336. and I needed
my Speedos.
Copy !req
337. What?
No chance
Copy !req
338. of seeing
myself there.
Copy !req
339. What is going on
with you?
Copy !req
340. Hank! Dale!
Copy !req
341. Nancy,
Copy !req
342. there's something I
think you should know.
Copy !req
343. Okay,
it's a long story.
Copy !req
344. It begins
Copy !req
345. when I got
into a time machine.
Copy !req
346. Dale!
Copy !req
347. Oh, right, I've got to be quick.
Copy !req
348. Damn my love
of flowery storytelling.
Copy !req
349. Nancy...
Copy !req
350. tomorrow's not
guaranteed!
Copy !req
351. You should live for now!
Copy !req
352. Meaning, if you're thinking
about doing something,
Copy !req
353. but are hesitant
for some reason,
Copy !req
354. you should go
ahead and do it!
Copy !req
355. Like wearing
that crazy hat.
Copy !req
356. You, too, John Redcorn.
Copy !req
357. If there's something
you're thinking about doing,
Copy !req
358. you might as well do it!
Copy !req
359. Do it now!
Copy !req
360. You heard him, Nancy.
Copy !req
361. Now, let me get this straight.
Copy !req
362. John Redcorn have to...
Copy !req
363. love the hair
back onto you?
Copy !req
364. Uh-uh.
Copy !req
365. That story cannot
be true.
Copy !req
366. Oh, I bet Bunny's writing
a fake memoir.
Copy !req
367. I'll warn Oprah.
Copy !req
368. No, it's true.
Copy !req
369. And if I don't get
back together with him,
Copy !req
370. I'll go bald.
Copy !req
371. Just like his broad, smooth
Native American chest.
Copy !req
372. I know that giving yourself
to Redcorn
Copy !req
373. would be both exhilarating
and wonderful,
Copy !req
374. but you are a married woman!
Copy !req
375. But my hair is my job, and my
job is my family's livelihood.
Copy !req
376. So I'd be sleeping
with John Redcorn
Copy !req
377. as if our lives depended on it.
Copy !req
378. I know what Jesus would do:
Copy !req
379. he would resist the temptation,
even if he had to go bald.
Copy !req
380. And he had great hair.
Copy !req
381. Oh, what am I gonna do?
Copy !req
382. I'm just a swirling tempest
of emotions, sugs.
Copy !req
383. Frustration.
Copy !req
384. Humiliation.
Copy !req
385. Fear.
Copy !req
386. Desire.
Copy !req
387. Guilt.
Copy !req
388. Oh, just do it,
Copy !req
389. but don't do it too much
or you end up with moustache.
Copy !req
390. Wow.
Copy !req
391. This is gonna be
a great party!
Copy !req
392. So, I'll meet you there?
Copy !req
393. Did he tell you
where the party is?
Copy !req
394. Excuse me, ma'am.
Copy !req
395. Oh, I'm a friend
of John Redcorn.
Copy !req
396. Lady, all these women are
"friends of John Redcorn."
Copy !req
397. Nancy!
Copy !req
398. Hey!
Copy !req
399. I assume you didn't
come here
Copy !req
400. to get your caricature done
with a monkey.
Copy !req
401. But, if you want one,
I can get it at half price.
Copy !req
402. I changed my mind, sug.
Copy !req
403. Let's start
what we finished.
Copy !req
404. Fatal flaw!
Copy !req
405. The end is approaching
quicker than anticipated.
Copy !req
406. Okay, I don't know
if you knew this,
Copy !req
407. but I can't use any
toilet but my own,
Copy !req
408. I can only hold
my bodily fluids
Copy !req
409. for six days
and 52 minutes.
Copy !req
410. Yes, Dale, I'm well aware.
Copy !req
411. So I have to go potty!
Copy !req
412. I'm destined to
run into myself
Copy !req
413. in my bathroom.
Copy !req
414. Listen to me.
Copy !req
415. You have to stop talking
about this.
Copy !req
416. But I feel bad
about not warning Nancy.
Copy !req
417. You haven't told Peggy?
Copy !req
418. No, because I don't want
to scare her.
Copy !req
419. And you shouldn't want
to scare Nancy.
Copy !req
420. I don't!
Copy !req
421. Then just be cool.
Copy !req
422. Everything is okay.
Copy !req
423. Now, I'd like to get back
to my family
Copy !req
424. and my chili taco.
Copy !req
425. So you're telling me
the end of the world is near,
Copy !req
426. and you're
just gonna...
Copy !req
427. hang out with
your loved ones?
Copy !req
428. And eat tacos?
Copy !req
429. Yep.
Copy !req
430. Huh.
Copy !req
431. This train stops
at the hotel.
Copy !req
432. We can go back
and order room service,
Copy !req
433. watch a movie.
Copy !req
434. Or we could just get
right to the sex,
Copy !req
435. whichever.
Copy !req
436. Nancy!
Copy !req
437. Dale?
Copy !req
438. What are you doing here?
Copy !req
439. Hello,
John Redcorn.
Copy !req
440. Dale.
Copy !req
441. Nancy, I don't want us
Copy !req
442. to spend one more
minute apart.
Copy !req
443. I want to be with
you for the rest
of my life.
Copy !req
444. So what if that's only...
Copy !req
445. 35 minutes away.
Copy !req
446. Now, I'm not saying the world
is going to end in 35 minutes,
Copy !req
447. but if it did,
Copy !req
448. I know exactly
where I want to be:
Copy !req
449. in the arms of my trusty wife.
Copy !req
450. You are as beautiful
as you are trusty.
Copy !req
451. Now, let's go home.
Copy !req
452. I want you in the bathroom
with me when it happens.
Copy !req
453. What?
Copy !req
454. Nancy...
Copy !req
455. my lover, my teacher,
my friend—
Copy !req
456. I don't want to see me
without you.
Copy !req
457. Come on.
Let's go!
Copy !req
458. Hold that
train, sir.
Copy !req
459. I hope I made the right choice.
Copy !req
460. Well, this is the only
wig shop in Arlen,
Copy !req
461. so, you don't really
have much choice.
Copy !req
462. You're right, sug.
Copy !req
463. Oh, cold, hilarious fate.
Copy !req