King of the Hill 10x8

Directed by Matt Engstrom

Johnny Knoxville as Peter Sterling (voice) • Breckin Meyer as Joseph Gribble (voice) • David Herman as Jimmy Witchard (voice) • Dennis Burkley as Principal Moss (voice) • Randal Reeder as Frat Guy #2 (voice)

When Bobby attends the school's job shadow program, he winds up interning for Peter Sterling, a man who runs a pooper-scooper business. Bobby is so impressed by Peter that he decides to pursue the same career. Meanwhile, Hank is trying to train Joseph at Strickland Propane.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. I came up with the best episode of West Wing in my dream last night.

2. There was a new janitor, and he was dusting near the button.

3. Sounds exciting.

4. You know what else is exciting?

5. It's the Eighth Grade Job Shadow Week.

6. Ready to spend a week working in the real world, son?

7. Yep, I've even practiced my office small talk.

8. I know it's only Tuesday, but it feels like Friday.

9. Joe Jack'll love that one.

10. Now, remember, sign up is in the gymnasium at lunch,

11. so just come register at my booth,

12. and we'll head straight over to Strickland.

13. Uh, yeah, about that.

14. I was thinking,

15. I've heard you talk about propane for 13 years,

16. so maybe I should try something… fun.

17. Or new?

18. This isn't about doing something new, Bobby.

19. It's about taking advantage

20. of the great head start you've already got.

21. You do a good job at Strickland this week,

22. you'll have almost your whole life figured out by age 14.

23. Uh… okay.

24. Hank, Bobby is a young man.

25. Don't you think he should be learning to make his own decisions?

26. Hank, did you hear what I asked?

27. - I asked if you thought that Bobby… - Of course he should.

28. I'm not forcing the boy.

29. I know he'll find his own way.

30. Just remember, I'll be under the north end basketball net.

31. You know my cell number, right?

32. Uh-huh.

33. Anyway, about my dream.

34. Now, should I send it to them, or should I shoot it first?

35. This is so exciting.

36. I just hope there isn't a big rush for the medical textbook proofreader.

37. I got dibs on the insurance rep.

38. My future starts today.

39. You guys are so lucky.

40. My dad's leaning on me to spend the week at Strickland,

41. and the first day is just gonna be a safety lecture

42. about open flames and runaway trucks.

43. Huh?

44. Hey.

45. Ooh.

46. I like pecans.

47. Oh, that could be fun.

48. They've got everything.

49. Bobby.

50. Bobby.

51. O-Over here.

52. - Quickly, B-Bobby. Now. - Hey, Mr. Hill.

53. I want to do propane.

54. Uh-huh. Well, uh…

55. thanks for your interest, Joseph,

56. but there's really just one opening with us,

57. and I'm saving it for Bobby.

58. Oh, okay.

59. Hold on there, son.

60. Hank, you can't do that.

61. This program's on a first-come, first-serve basis.

62. But Principal Moss, I'm saving this spot for Bobby, and I…

63. I don't want him shadowing me.

64. I'm sorry, Hank.

65. I don't know exactly what ethnicity that boy is,

66. but he's something.

67. My hands are tied here.

68. Welcome to Strickland Propane.

69. Oh, sweet.

70. Okay, pick something, quick.

71. Well, Dad, let's make it legal.

72. You're a little late, son. Joseph's already taken your spot.

73. Sorry, dude.

74. What am I supposed to do?

75. Everything else is already taken.

76. It's all right, Bobby. You see that booth over there?

77. No one's signed up with him yet.

78. - Earth Cleaners. - Never heard of it.

79. Very successful local business.

80. Better hurry.

81. Do you think I could get a ninth grader, if she was ugly?

82. - Hi, I'm Bobby Hill. - Well, all right.

83. I'm Peter Sterling, founder and president of this little situation here.

84. So what do we got? Some sweet sign-up action?

85. Yep, I'm supposed to be your shadow this week.

86. Well, all right.

87. We're gonna have some delightful times, mi amigo.

88. - Really? - Oh, you better believe it.

89. We're gonna tear it up old school.

90. Earth Cleaners must be about the environment, right?

91. Do we wash monkeys?

92. Can I take one home?

93. Nothing like that, Bobby.

94. At Earth Cleaners, we only do one thing, but we do it so sweet.

95. We pick up poo.

96. We pick up poo?

97. Oh, we pick up mountains of it.

98. Whose poo are we picking up?

99. Ninety percent dogs, 10 percent other.

100. Mr. Sterling, I have to make a phone call.

101. Absolutely, mi amigo.

102. Just meet me around back in five and we'll rock and roll.

103. From the switchback ignition system

104. to the heavy-duty, welded, stainless steel,

105. the Char King Imperiale

106. is the Vogner Company's love letter to America.

107. She's pretty hot. Did you guys ever do anything?

108. I've been looking all over for you, honey.

109. It's a message from your son.

110. "Dad, you've got to let me shadow you.

111. Do whatever it takes.

112. I want to be at Strickland Propane."

113. Dang it, I've got to get Buck to open another position here.

114. You know, if you twist that valve far enough,

115. you'll kill us all.

116. Why don't you just stand outside?

117. Whoa.

118. Hop on the sled, partner.

119. Thanks for letting my boy shadow you, Hank.

120. Sooner or later, Nancy's earning power is gonna crap out,

121. and he's gonna have to pick up the slack.

122. Uh-huh.

123. You know what's great is that Bobby's gonna be at Strickland, too.

124. I got a message from him saying how much he wants to be there.

125. That's beautiful, Hank.

126. Father and son working side by side.

127. Beautiful.

128. With the early start Bobby's getting, there's no telling where he'll end up.

129. Maybe Strickland North.

130. Wow.

131. I told you guys we didn't have to leave the alley

132. to see interesting things.

133. Hey, Dad.

134. Uh, Bobby, why don't you give this nice man his costume back,

135. and we'll hit the grill.

136. I'll show you what you missed.

137. No, Dad, I decided I'm sticking with Earth Cleaners.

138. It's the best job ever.

139. But the message…

140. I thought…

141. What does Earth Cleaners do, anyway?

142. Why don't we show him, partner?

143. Yeah.

144. You, uh…

145. …you pick up poop?

146. That's right.

147. "Earth Cleaners:

148. We pick up where your dog leaves off."

149. Whoa, Bobby.

150. Looks like you got triplets there.

151. My boy is gonna spend an entire week picking up dog poop for school credit.

152. I hate to say this, but it seems like the system's not working.

153. Education today is so complicated.

154. As a parent, I'd like to change things.

155. Though, as an educator,

156. I'd like people to mind their own damn business.

157. Well, I can't control education, but I can control my son.

158. I'm pulling Bobby out of this thing.

159. If you do that, he'll resist you all the way.

160. The only way for us to win here is to be supportive.

161. Well, it feels like this is one of those things

162. where if we support it now,

163. we'll just wind up having to accept it later.

164. Bobby has to learn to make choices now.

165. Do you want to spend the rest of your life making his choices for him?

166. Well, why not?

167. I do it for Bill.

168. I never thought working outdoors could be fun.

169. Now I don't know how I could do anything else.

170. Oh, it's sweet, Bobby.

171. But that's only one of the great things about this gig.

172. I don't have a boss,

173. I make my own hours, there's no stress, and the business is rock steady.

174. You know how they say that death and taxes

175. are the only things you can count on in life?

176. Well, look what they forgot.

177. Aww, yeah.

178. So if you provide excellent customer service,

179. you don't have to apologize for charging a little bit more

180. than the competition.

181. - So what do you think of that, Joseph? - Cool.

182. Uh,

183. well, it's a little bit more than just cool.

184. It's the guiding principle of our whole…

185. Uh, Joseph, I don't know if you realize it,

186. but you just drank from my soda can.

187. I only took a sip, dude.

188. Oh, God.

189. Yep.

190. Yep.

191. Mm-hmm.

192. Speaking of Joseph, how's he doing at Strickland, Hank?

193. Uh… he's doing fine, I guess.

194. Yes.

195. I knew he'd make it, if he'd just aimed low enough.

196. Be honest with me, fellas.

197. Would it bother you if your son was, you know, doing what mine's doing?

198. Uh…

199. I don't see any problem… problem there.

200. Hey, man, nothin' wrong with them, dang ol' honest work, man.

201. Probably wouldn't bother me.

202. Hey, guys,

203. I got a new one.

204. What has red neck but brown hands?

205. Bobby Hill.

206. Brown…

207. You know what the key to success in business is, Bobby?

208. Of course.

209. My dad's been saying it my whole life.

210. You find something that people want, and you give it to them.

211. Well, your dad's obviously a very smart dude,

212. very old school, very classy.

213. But here's the problem.

214. The whole stuff people want market, well, it's, uh, all pretty much locked up.

215. There's nothing new to give people.

216. So my key to business success is this.

217. You find the thing that no one else wants to do, and you do it.

218. That's brilliant.

219. It's working pretty sweet for me.

220. Think about it. Any idiot can pick up a piece of poo.

221. But, nine times out of ten, he doesn't.

222. Well, I'm no idiot.

223. Well, all right.

224. I just wish my dad understood the business more.

225. I don't think he gets why it's so great.

226. Oh, we can fix that, mi amigo.

227. He just needs his own little taste of the Peter Sterling lifestyle.

228. Do we really have to do this?

229. Yes.

230. - Well, this is his street. - Number 237.

231. Peter Sterling lives here?

232. Well, all right.

233. Welcome, Hills.

234. Oh, my God.

235. Look at this place.

236. Good Lord.

237. Liking the casa, eh?

238. Hi.

239. That's my lovely lady, Sarah.

240. Uh, Peter, do you have another business or something?

241. I, I hate to pry,

242. but you couldn't have paid for all this by just, uh, you know.

243. - Oh, but I did. - But I don't…

244. I mean, how?

245. Hank, my clientele is made up

246. of practically every rich person in the Heimlich County area.

247. I've got almost no overhead expenses and no competition.

248. Dude, life is so sweet.

249. Come on, folks. Let's grab some grub.

250. Hank, Peggy,

251. I just want to thank you both for lending me Bobby for the week.

252. Whatever he ends up doing, Bobby's gonna be one successful dude.

253. Hey.

254. Did Bobby tell you about our wild afternoon?

255. No, but we support Bobby, so we'd love to hear.

256. Oh, it was crazy.

257. We're scooping over at the Strawbridge Estate,

258. but we're coming across some pretty weird-looking stuff.

259. It was like nothing I'd ever seen.

260. It was gigantic. Too big even for the scoop.

261. And it was really leafy.

262. - Peter tried picking it up… - But it just crumbled in my hands.

263. So we're thinking, what the heck's going on?

264. - They only have one Irish Setter. - You want to tell them what happened?

265. Well, it turned out the neighbor's fence is broken,

266. and their farm of 28 alpacas had gotten loose.

267. They dropped product on every inch of the Strawbridges' property.

268. Yep, it was rough,

269. but we made a mint on it,

270. 'cause we just started charging them by the pound.

271. Yeah, dawg.

272. I've never really been a dinner person.

273. I'm just gonna go sit in the car for a few hours.

274. - Well, did the third shower help? - No, it did not.

275. I can wash, but I cannot wash away the memories.

276. Well, thank God the week's over tomorrow,

277. and everything will be back to normal.

278. Product used to be one of my favorite words.

279. And if you shut the lid,

280. you can get the indirect heat up to 550 degrees in three minutes.

281. Uh, yeah, yeah,

282. and if you're cooking burgers or stuff,

283. don't drop your cat in there, 'cause it could, like, explode.

284. - Oh. - Joseph, don't talk like that.

285. Oh, sorry, dude.

286. Look,

287. this is your last day, so why don't you just relax.

288. Just stand over there while Mrs. Ellis and I finish up.

289. Joseph, you've got to be more careful.

290. - There's a lot at stake here. - Dad?

291. Yes, it is I, Dale, your father.

292. What are you doing?

293. I'm shadowing you to make sure that you're properly shadowing Hank,

294. which you are not. Now, pay attention to him.

295. Our financial future is at stake.

296. Notice the way he gestures gracefully with his hands.

297. Look at his firm handshake and direct eye contact.

298. He appears confident,

299. but not at all like he wants to have sex with her.

300. I'm trying, Dad.

301. I don't want to put any pressure on you, Joseph,

302. but your parents' marriage depends on this.

303. Well, I'm just glad this job shadow thing is over.

304. It's high time everyone's kids went back

305. to where they belong.

306. Hey, Dad.

307. Welcome home, son. Did you enjoy your last day at work?

308. Dad, it's not my last day.

309. I'm taking Peter's business model, and I'm starting my own company.

310. What are you talking about?

311. Hello?

312. What?

313. What do you mean "a vomit situation"? Who is this?

314. Oh, that's for me.

315. Bobby Hill speaking.

316. Yep, we do that.

317. Please cordon off the area and don't panic.

318. I'll be right there.

319. Got to run.

320. It's like Peter always says, customer service starts on time.

321. - No, Bobby, you can't make a living… - Sure I can.

322. There's bounce houses, daycare centers, and let's not forget bars.

323. Dad, you were right.

324. I've got almost my whole life figured out before I'm 14.

325. Now, hold on a minute, Bobby…

326. Hill here.

327. You bet I know where that is.

328. The Delta Sigma Tau house.

329. I've got it made.

330. Dad, do you think this jumpsuit is splatter-proof?

331. I don't get it.

332. You said you wanted me to get an early start on my future.

333. This job has a future.

334. Bobby, did you wash your hands before dinner?

335. Well, there's more to a career than money, son.

336. There's the matter of respect.

337. Bobby, did you wear that jumpsuit to work today?

338. First, you want me to have a future, now, it's respect.

339. I can't hit a moving target, Dad.

340. My God, Bobby, your shoes. Did you take your work shoes off?

341. Other than the fact that it's not the great almighty propane,

342. show me just one downside to my career.

343. So, I just don't want my son going any further in this, uh, line of work.

344. Do you have a problem with what I do, Hank?

345. Not at all.

346. You provide a useful service, and you do a quality job.

347. Well, then, amigo, I guess I'm a little confused.

348. Look, Peter, you're a tall, handsome, well-put together guy.

349. And forgive me for saying this,

350. but you're very… enchanting.

351. I'm guessing you never had trouble getting dates,

352. and you probably never had a cruel nickname stick to you.

353. Everyone likes you.

354. My son likes you.

355. So, a guy like you can pull off a career like this.

356. Now, Bobby, well, he's a great kid, but he's different than you.

357. Well, maybe you got a point, but Bobby's on his own now.

358. What can I do for the little dude?

359. Well, you could tell him that the job isn't really so great.

360. I can't lie to the little guy.

361. Well, I'll just have to force him to quit then,

362. and deal with my own son hating me, probably for quite a while.

363. Well, all right.

364. Well… all right.

365. Let me get this straight.

366. If I hurl, I just call you, and you'll come get rid of it?

367. Dude,

368. that's the best thing I ever heard of.

369. Now I can party and, like, not hold back at all.

370. Gentlemen,

371. that's what I'm selling, freedom.

372. I don't want to touch something you touched.

373. Could you put the card in my pocket for me?

374. Make the pledge do it.

375. No way, man. I don't know what he's touched.

376. Okay, then eat my deodorant.

377. Bobby,

378. I'm sorry, but this ends right now.

379. Hey, Bobby.

380. Just came by to wish you much luck with your new gig.

381. Thanks, Peter.

382. Got dang it, Peter,

383. - I thought I made it… - Hey.

384. It's the poo man.

385. And he's picking poo.

386. Oh, no.

387. Jimmy Wichard? What's going on?

388. He's one of the Mashers.

389. The Mashers?

390. Oh, I'm afraid so.

391. They're just one group of many

392. who take pleasure in hurting guys who do what I do.

393. But I thought you were the only one who does this.

394. I am, which is why I get the crap beaten out of me

395. on a fairly regular basis.

396. - You do? - It goes with the territory.

397. You should know, Bobby, it's not an easy life.

398. Do I do it now?

399. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

400. Mm-hmm. Okay, we got to do it now.

401. Let's get the poo man.

402. Bobby.

403. Call Sarah and tell her it's happened again.

404. Have mercy.

405. - Oh, my God. Dad. - Well, I'll be got danged.

406. Get back in, you.

407. Stop.

408. Oh, dear God.

409. Aah. Ooh.

410. So, how was your visit with Peter?

411. He's okay.

412. Just a couple of broken bones and some scrapes.

413. He'll be out in a few days.

414. Well, I'll say this about Peter Sterling.

415. He's a pretty darn decent man.

416. I can't believe people treat him that way just because of what he does.

417. Yep, it's kind of unfair,

418. but that's how it is with most ways of making big, easy money.

419. It either gets you jail time or your ass kicked.

420. I'm, uh, sorry you had to shut down your business.

421. It's all right.

422. My week with Peter gave me an even better business idea.

423. It did?

424. Yep. Custom-fitted, monogrammed jumpsuits.

425. You can wear them for almost anything,

426. and they look really cool.

427. Wouldn't you want one?

428. Huh.

429. I actually kind of would.

430. So, uh, you still want to get that?

431. Nah, not interested.

432. It's all yours.