1. Are you drinking tea, Hank?
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2. No. And so what if I am?
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3. You don't look so good.
Maybe you got the flu bug, honey.
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4. I'm just tired. I'm not sick.
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5. Whatever you say, sicky.
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6. You gotta go there.
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7. The margaritas come in a glass
shaped like a gecko.
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8. That sounds muy caliente.
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9. Hey, you got the funny pages?
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10. That you, ol' top? Hey.
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11. How about tossing me another roll of TP?
I'm working on quite a… project in here.
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12. Told you so, honey.
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13. Peggy?
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14. Shut the door, Dad. It's freezing.
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15. Ugh. You guys are sick, too?
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16. Ugh. Clark Peters sneezed on me.
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17. Stupid kid.
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18. Can't even cover his mouth
when he sneezes.
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19. He should be expelled.
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20. Hank, our prescription should be ready.
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21. One of us needs to pick it up.
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22. Okay.
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23. I've got a fever.
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24. Plus, I cooked us dinner last night.
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25. You just dumped a bunch of crackers
on a plate.
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26. Besides, I've got a fever and the chills.
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27. Bobby, you always wanted
to drive to the store, right?
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28. All right, fine.
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29. I'll do it.
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30. You guys had crackers for dinner?
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31. Why didn't you wake me up?
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32. Ugh.
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33. Oh.
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34. Looks like the aliens finally got Hank.
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35. At least they had the decency
to put his pajamas back on.
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36. Not like with me.
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37. Whatcha guys lookin'… Oh, my God. Hank.
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38. You're burning up.
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39. He's lying here sick,
and you didn't help him?
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40. So insensitive.
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41. Actually, we thought he was dead.
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42. There you go, Hank.
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43. Now, don't you worry.
Bill is gonna take care of everything.
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44. Bill?
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45. Yes, Hank?
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46. I have to throw up.
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47. That's okay. I'll get a bucket.
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48. - But not my good bucket.
- Of course not.
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49. Everybody comfy?
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50. Now here's your remote and the TV Guide.
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51. You'll see I've highlighted a few things.
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52. There's a movie
with James Garner and a Doberman
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53. I think you'd both enjoy.
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54. Oh, you are so thoughtful, Bill.
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55. I'm gonna start dinner.
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56. You two holler if you need anything.
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57. If I make it through this,
I promise to be a better kid.
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58. I'll do my homework,
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59. take out the garbage, you name it.
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60. If I make it through this,
I promise to learn how to ride a bike.
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61. You don't know how to ride a bike?
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62. I grew up in Montana, Bobby,
we rode horses.
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63. Though a bike
probably would have been better
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64. because I wouldn't have had
to castrate it.
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65. Mm-hmm.
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66. Very nice.
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67. Congratulations.
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68. You're all a perfect 98.6.
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69. I noticed we're out of juice.
I'll pick some up in the morning.
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70. Well, thanks, Bill,
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71. but we're all feeling so good,
maybe we should just take it from here.
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72. Oh. We appreciate all you've done,
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73. but you do have your own life
to get back to.
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74. No, I don't. I can stay.
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75. Uh, really, it's no trouble.
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76. Well, thanks anyway, soldier,
but you are relieved of duty.
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77. I'll just dish up your lunch before I go.
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78. I made my Nana's chicken soup…
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79. …with the squiggly noodles.
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80. Bill?
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81. Uh, Bill, you were gonna poison us,
weren't you?
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82. Yes,
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83. but just a little bit.
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84. Don't be mad.
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85. I'm not mad, Bill.
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86. The truth is, until you tried to…
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87. "induce vomiting," you were
great at taking care of us.
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88. You got a real knack for this.
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89. Do you really think so?
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90. Sure. I bet there are other people
who could use a guy like you.
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91. Maybe you oughta think about volunteering.
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92. That's a great idea.
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93. The world's filled with sick people.
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94. I'm gonna look into this
right after lunch.
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95. Uh, Bill, we're gonna throw away the soup.
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96. I understand.
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97. Oh, look at all
these great volunteer opportunities.
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98. They're letting men be candy stripers now.
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99. - Huh.
- At this place,
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100. you can teach hip-hop dance
to troubled teens.
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101. I'd be happy to show you
some of my sweet moves.
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102. Yeah, yeah, hee-yah.
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103. "Patient, caring people
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104. to assist in light chores and conversation
at sober living facility."
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105. Huh. A halfway house.
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106. That sounds perfect for you, Bill.
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107. I bet you could help
a lot of folks over there.
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108. Yeah, you're great at conversation.
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109. If Nancy didn't make me get off the phone,
I could talk to you all night.
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110. I'm going down first thing tomorrow.
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111. Can't wait.
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112. Well, Bill, that's what Opportunity House
is all about. Any questions?
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113. Can I start now, right now?
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114. I like your spirit.
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115. You remind me of myself
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116. during my first relief trip
to South America.
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117. Yup. I used this to serve beans
to the people of Belize.
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118. I keep it as a symbol of my promise
to serve my fellow man.
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119. Oh, that's a great spoon.
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120. I'm glad you stopped by, Bill.
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121. Opportunity House is always looking
for good people,
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122. especially now
that we're expanding the facility.
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123. So where do you need me?
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124. I'll do anything.
No job is too humiliating.
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125. Well, that depends.
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126. There are two kinds of volunteers.
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127. People who care,
and people who really, really care.
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128. Which one are you?
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129. I really, really care.
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130. You have a passion for helping people.
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131. That's very Bono. I like that.
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132. Well, I saw Bill leave
for the halfway house this morning.
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133. He was wearing his blue shirt.
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134. I love that shirt.
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135. You know, I think Bill's finally found
his thing.
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136. Hey, guys. Great news.
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137. I got my very own alcoholics.
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138. - What?
- Yeah.
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139. Opportunity House is too crowded,
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140. so I'm taking some of the guys
until they can expand.
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141. I even got a sign.
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142. So Bill's house is now "Bill's House"?
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143. All right. This way.
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144. A halfway house?
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145. This is all I need.
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146. A bunch of jittery drunks
breaking into my house
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147. and rummaging through my guns.
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148. Yeah, man. I don't want them takin'
no dang ol' 12 steps on my lawn, man.
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149. Now, hold on.
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150. We all thought it was great
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151. that Bill was working
at a halfway house before.
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152. So it has to move temporarily.
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153. It's gotta go somewhere, right?
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154. Hey, hillbillies.
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155. What's going on over there?
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156. Some alcoholics followed Bill home
from work.
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157. He's keeping 'em.
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158. Boozehounds in neighborhood? Bah.
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159. I'm going home and deadbolting doors,
so drunks don't steal my mouthwash.
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160. Kahn, these guys aren't criminals.
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161. They're good people
trying to get back on their feet.
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162. and they're not gonna be here long,
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163. so just cut them, and Bill, some slack.
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164. Yeah, that's not really my thing.
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165. I've never had so many people for dinner.
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166. I had to put the leaf in my table.
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167. Thanks for saying I should do this, Hank.
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168. Yeah, thanks, Hank.
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169. Heck, you're the one doing the good deeds.
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170. Here's to you, Bill.
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171. Oh, that's sweet,
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172. but I'm gonna have to ask you
not to drink in the alley.
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173. I'm sorry, my mouth was full of beer,
so I may not have heard you correctly.
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174. Mm-hmm. We at Bill's House are focused
on a temptation-free recovery.
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175. Well, if it's only for a couple of days.
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176. It's weird.
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177. I know it's not there,
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178. but I can feel the can in my hand.
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179. I tell you,
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180. I'd become an alcoholic
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181. if I could just eat Bill's lasagna
one more time.
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182. You're clearing the table?
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183. Okay, mister, what'd you do?
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184. Nothing. I'm just cleaning up
like a good kid would.
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185. Like I promised…
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186. and if I remember correctly…
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187. Wha… Oh, that.
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188. That was the fever talking.
We were out of our minds.
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189. You made a promise to Jesus.
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190. Damn it.
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191. Now. that's what I call
some refreshing iced tea.
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192. I like it.
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193. I really, really like it.
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194. Yes, I am one satisfied tea drinker.
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195. Beer?
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196. Dang it, Dale.
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197. Bill said no alcohol in the alley.
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198. Now, this means a lot to him.
We need to help him out.
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199. Come on.
Bill can't take care of those guys.
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200. How many times a week
does he have popcorn for dinner?
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201. He doesn't even pop it, Hank.
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202. Hey, brothers.
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203. He's coming right at us.
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204. Shut up, Dale.
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205. He's just being a good neighbor
and saying hello.
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206. - Hey, there.
- Hey, man.
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207. Name's Mikey. Got 48 days.
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208. Feeling good, gonna make it.
Happy as hell to meet you.
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209. Sun's shining, great day to be alive,
but for the grace of God, am I right?
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210. I'm optimistic, focused,
got my eye on the prize,
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211. know what I'm sayin'?
I'm tuned in, feeling good,
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212. happy as hell to meet you.
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213. Hey, brother.
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214. Well, he seems, uh… nice.
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215. Bill?
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216. Let it all out. Oh, hey there, Hank.
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217. Oh, sorry. I, uh, I heard male crying.
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218. Yeah. It's okay, we're just
in the middle of group.
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219. Randy here had a breakthrough.
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220. I see.
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221. Wait, you're in charge of therapy?
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222. Oh, sure. It's one of my many hats.
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223. I do the cooking, cleaning, rec time.
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224. Uh, that sounds like a lot.
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225. It is overwhelming sometimes.
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226. But in a fulfilling way.
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227. Oh, no, I forgot.
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228. Hank, I have to run to the pharmacy,
pick up their meds.
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229. Could you cover group?
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230. - Uh…
- I won't be long.
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231. We're working on taking emotional risks.
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232. Uh… hello.
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233. Hello, friend.
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234. I'm Stuart, and I'm an alcoholic.
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235. Okay.
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236. They called me Appleseed for 15 years,
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237. but that life of toad licking
and cherry wine is behind me.
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238. Now I've got a sober name
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239. for a sober future.
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240. I got something to say.
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241. Uh, are you sure?
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242. I feel nervous and excited and thirsty.
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243. I lost my favorite T-shirt,
and my big toe itches,
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244. and I hate my dad.
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245. All right then.
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246. Lesson one: Getting to know your bike.
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247. Let's start with handlebars.
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248. Oh, just give me the freakin' thing.
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249. But you haven't even heard
the part about balance.
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250. Bobby, I'm sure riding a bike
is just like swimming.
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251. You hold your breath and kick like crazy.
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252. Mom, are you okay?
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253. You don't know how to swim, do you?
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254. Not so much.
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255. We're out of milk?
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256. I just bought this milk.
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257. I'm done taking out the trash.
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258. Hank, they've eaten everything.
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259. Oh, there's more to do than I thought.
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260. Can you watch the guys
while I'm at the store?
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261. They're making clay ashtrays.
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262. Well, what happened to the ones
they made out of seashells?
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263. Mm-mm.
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264. All I'm saying, friend,
is that you're bogarting all the clay.
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265. Well, I smoke more,
and I got five days on you.
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266. Whoa, let's not start judging.
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267. You judged me first.
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268. Hey, nobody's judging anybody.
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269. Now it sounds like Stuart is feeling,
uh…
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270. Just give him some clay.
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271. Hank, look who I found in the driveway.
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272. It's my boss, Mr. Draper.
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273. You've got a heck
of a bighearted friend here, Hank.
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274. - Thanks.
- What a guy.
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275. I wish I had a hundred Bill Dauterives.
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276. Yeah, the thing is, you only have one.
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277. And he's working himself like crazy.
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278. Both of us are, actually.
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279. We've even had to dip
into our vacation days.
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280. Addictions don't take a vacation, Hank.
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281. Good thing there are people like us
who really, really care.
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282. Yeah, we're still pretty tired.
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283. Anyway, how's that addition
to Opportunity House coming along?
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284. Spectacular. We open in a couple of weeks.
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285. Hey, maybe you can cut the ribbon.
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286. It's… No, really, I'm gonna cut it.
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287. So I see your new best friends
the alcoholics
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288. got a basketball hoop.
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289. Give it a rest, Dale.
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290. I don't have the energy right now.
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291. Hey, brother, toss me the ball.
Man, I love hoops.
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292. Went to a Spurs game
before I got with the program,
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293. long story short, lost my job.
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294. I do so have H-O-R.
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295. Gary, we agreed
the court is a no-conflict zone.
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296. Okay, Mom, now, let's discuss potholes.
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297. Bobby, I can do this on my own.
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298. That being said,
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299. if you let go of this bike,
you will never see TV again.
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300. You're doing great, Mom.
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301. Hey, don't let go, don't let go,
don't let go.
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302. He let go!
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303. What? You did.
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304. Boy, just think.
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305. In a couple days, these guys will be gone,
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306. and neither of us will ever have
to sit in a circle again.
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307. I've kind of grown attached
to them, though.
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308. This doesn't mean
you have to stop volunteering.
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309. I'm sure they're gonna need you
at Opportunity House
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310. after the big expansion.
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311. You're probably right.
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312. Oh. His first night here,
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313. Randy thought this sock
was trying to kill him.
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314. What in the…
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315. What's going on here?
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316. Just dropping off some people
at Bill's House.
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317. - Dropping off?
- Hank!
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318. There's so many of them.
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319. There's already a line for the bathroom.
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320. Wait, no. No, no, no.
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321. You're supposed to be taking people away.
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322. No place to take 'em.
Opportunity House is closed.
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323. - What?
- It'll be fun, right, Hank?
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324. Yeah, just like a giant sleepover.
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325. Only we'll never get to sleep.
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326. - That's stinkin' thinkin', Elroy.
- Anyone here counting days?
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327. Well, they took my car and my crossbow.
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328. This is crazy.
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329. You can't have this many people
living in your house.
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330. And I can't keep taking time off work.
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331. I said I'd help them, Hank.
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332. It may kill me, but I'm gonna do it.
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333. I just have to really, really,
really, really care.
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334. Oh, God.
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335. Look, we need to talk to Draper
and tell him you can't do this.
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336. - Excuse me, where should I sleep?
- When's dinner?
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337. I need a meeting.
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338. We're losing them!
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339. Call Pizza Joe's and tell them
Bill needs eight of his usuals.
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340. God grant me the serenity…
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341. To accept the things I cannot change,
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342. courage to the change the things I can…
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343. Hey, Mr. Draper.
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344. Nice place you got here.
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345. I didn't know
they had gated communities in Arlen.
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346. As you can imagine,
I was worried about diversity,
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347. but Dr. Rawalapindi is from Bangladesh,
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348. and the Kims are from Korea via London.
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349. It's a regular U.N. in here.
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350. So anyway, uh, we need to talk
about Opportunity House.
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351. Sure, Hank. Come on in.
Just brewed some coffee.
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352. Mr. Phillip,
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353. they got the hummus stain
out of your tuxedo.
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354. Wonderful, Dominga.
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355. Mm, this coffee is Fair Trade.
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356. With every sip, you can practically taste
the Guatemalan family being uplifted.
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357. Dominga's face lights up
every time I ask for a cup.
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358. And I am almost done reading
Fast Food Nation.
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359. Okay.
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360. So what happened over
at Opportunity House?
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361. Funding fell through. Damn bean counters.
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362. I wish they could look in the eyes
of the people they're hurting.
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363. Listen, this is too much
for Bill and me to handle.
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364. These people can't stay
at his house anymore.
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365. Okay. No problem.
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366. Why don't you tell me
who to throw out on the street.
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367. - What?
- Or maybe we should just tell people
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368. to stop being alcoholics.
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369. Not so simple, is it?
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370. Listen, these guys are much
better off sharing bedrooms
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371. in Bill's house
than sleeping in some alley.
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372. You're telling me
those are the only two choices?
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373. Crammed in Bill's house or homeless?
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374. I'm afraid so.
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375. Listen, Mr. Draper…
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376. Sorry, Hank, my ride is here.
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377. Uh, Dominga,
what's the Spanish word for "empathy"?
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378. Empatía.
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379. There you go.
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380. That's my little girl over there.
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381. That's mine over there.
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382. Oh. Aww.
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383. You gotta work the eighth step, man.
That's the key to success.
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384. She won't let me back in the house.
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385. Hank, tell me Draper had good news.
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386. - I'm an alcoholic.
- I know! I know!
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387. I'm just so tired, Hank.
And I'm so far behind.
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388. I haven't even had time
to collect the checks yet.
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389. What checks?
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390. The ones the guys get from the government.
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391. We have to get them signed
and sent over to Draper.
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392. Oh, and some of their hands
shake a little.
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393. Could you help 'em out?
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394. Draper gets 600 bucks a month
from each guy?
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395. And that's not enough
to keep Opportunity House open?
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396. I guess not. Damn bean counters.
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397. Bobby, I think today is the day.
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398. Sit down, Mom. We need to talk.
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399. I think we have to be honest
with ourselves.
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400. You're never gonna learn
how to ride a bike.
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401. - But I…
- It's over, Mom.
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402. Jesus knows you tried.
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403. Hey, it's me.
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404. Listen, I think we need
more big-ticket items
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405. for the silent auction.
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406. Remember, we're buying cows
for Haitians, here.
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407. Well, yeah, after we recoup our costs
for the goodie bags.
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408. I'm gonna have to call you back.
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409. Hey, Mr. Draper.
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410. Good of you to come over
and say hi to your new neighbors.
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411. Neighbors? What, what do you mean?
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412. This is the new-and-improved Bill's House.
We just rented it.
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413. Yeah, we figured this place
was a much better use of their money.
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414. So I had the guys sign their checks
over to Bill instead of you.
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415. What? You can't do that.
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416. Well, I already did.
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417. Now, they have plenty of bedrooms,
a rec area, a nice pool.
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418. Maybe some swim therapy, huh, Bill?
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419. They would really enjoy that.
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420. Oh, and, uh, you'll probably have
to check in on them every now and again.
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421. But you don't mind, right?
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422. People like us really, really care.
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423. Well, hey, I don't have time.
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424. I'm gonna be Rocking the Vote
for the next two months.
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425. Uh, you'll figure something out.
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426. Oh, you might want to warn your neighbors
about the smoke.
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427. And their basketball games
get kind of heated.
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428. Hey, brother, name's Mikey, feeling good.
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429. Happy as hell to meet you.
Got to fake it till you make it.
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430. - Boy, it sure is quiet.
- Yeah.
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431. I found a cigarette butt
in one of my planters
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432. and almost cried.
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433. - So how are the guys doing?
- Oh, they're great.
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434. I was over there today giving haircuts.
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435. I heard Mr. Draper
is starting construction
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436. on Opportunity House again.
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437. Yeah, I thought that might happen.
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438. Yo, man.
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439. Yep.
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440. Mm… Yup.
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441. Mmm-hmm.
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442. Man, my tolerance is way down.
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443. Went to a Spurs game,
long story short, lost my job.
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