1. Roommate meeting.
Copy !req
2. Roommate meeting!
Copy !req
3. Gogo, what the hell?
I've got a hangover!
Copy !req
4. I don't give a
Copy !req
5. about your hangover,
okay, Brendan?
Copy !req
6. I want a roommate meeting,
and I want it now!
Copy !req
7. Okay.
Copy !req
8. Now, somebody's
been taking
Copy !req
9. out of the refrigerator
Copy !req
10. and throwing it
on the ground,
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11. and it's pissing me off.
Copy !req
12. Is this another one
of your stupid pranks, Jonald?
Copy !req
13. No.
And your pranks are stupid.
Copy !req
14. - Is it you, Monday?
- What?
Copy !req
15. I said,
Copy !req
16. somebody's been taking
out of the fridge
Copy !req
17. and throwing it
on the ground.
Copy !req
18. And I want to know
who it is,
Copy !req
19. because it's not funny!
Copy !req
20. Well, what I want to know is,
Copy !req
21. who keeps pulling the sheets
off my bed
Copy !req
22. and hanging them
from the ceiling fan at night?
Copy !req
23. - Was that you, Monday?
- What?
Copy !req
24. Have you been taking
everybody's sheets off them
Copy !req
25. in the night and hanging them
from the ceiling fans?
Copy !req
26. What? No.
Copy !req
27. Well, clearly,
someone's been doing that!
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28. Whoa!
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29. Who did that?
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30. Yeah! who the
just did that?
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31. Which one of you
just threw that bottle?
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32. What are we even talking
about right now?
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33. Did you ing throw
that bottle, Jonald?
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34. No, Gogo!
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35. you!
I didn't throw it!
Copy !req
36. Well, did you ing throw
that bottle, Brendon?
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37. Yeah!
You would do that, Brendon.
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38. Dude, no!
I didn't throw the bottle!
Copy !req
39. Well, somebody threw
that ing bottle,
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40. and you're the one who drew
dicks on everyone's forehead!
Copy !req
41. Yeah, you did do that!
Copy !req
42. But dicks are hilarious,
though!
Copy !req
43. This is just destructive!
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44. What about you, Monday?
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45. Did you throw that bottle?
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46. What bottle?
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47. The ing bottle, dude!
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48. It just smashed
against the wall,
Copy !req
49. and you even said
some about it!
Copy !req
50. Well, I didn't throw
a bottle.
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51. Well, obviously,
it wasn't Ping.
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52. He's got the best grades
in the house.
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53. Good point, Ping.
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54. Come on, guys, let's cool it
with the profanity.
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55. You know Ping's very religious.
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56. - Aw, Ping!
- Ugh!
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57. Come on!
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58. Hello!
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59. - Thank you.
- Thank you so much.
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60. Um, I am Keegan-Michael Key.
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61. Yes, I'm Jordan Peele.
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62. And we are Key and Peele.
Thanks for coming out.
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63. Yep.
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64. - Tomorrow is Halloween.
- Yes.
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65. Yes, tomorrow is Halloween.
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66. - It's a Halloween episode.
- Halloween episode.
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67. What I don't understand
is monsters
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68. in horror movies now.
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69. Like, who wants
to monsters?
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70. Apparently, everybody now.
Copy !req
71. - It happened on...
- Twilight.
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72. Everyone's having sex
with vampires
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73. and werewolves and everybody.
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74. I mean, you know,
remember in the '30s?
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75. Nobody wanted to have sex
with Frankenstein.
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76. No.
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77. Square-ass head.
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78. Bolts coming out of his neck,
you know.
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79. Frankenstein having sex,
Well, he'd just...
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80. he could just throw his dick
at a bitch, just...
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81. Arrgh.
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82. Brothers and sisters.
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83. Ah, tonight,
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84. the newest member
of our family
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85. will feast
for the first time.
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86. Ophelia...
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87. Bring the new blood.
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88. Ahh.
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89. Brother Tyrell.
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90. Welcome to the first night
of your new and...
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91. What are we wearing here?
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92. W...
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93. Uh, i-I'm just wearing
what I got bit in.
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94. Mm-hmm.
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95. Okay.
Do you have anything black?
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96. Or, like, pants with laces
up the side of the leg...
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97. would be good,
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98. just so you can still see
the skin.
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99. Uh, no.
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100. That's not my style,
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101. so I ain't got none of that
in my closet
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102. or nothin' like that.
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103. Okay.
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104. Anyway, we will tonight
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105. all feast!
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106. Come on, man.
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107. Excuse me?
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108. I'm just saying,
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109. y'all over here licking
and...
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110. and hissing and whatnot.
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111. If we gonna eat,
then let's eat. Damn!
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112. Y-yes.
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113. Of course,
we will all feed.
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114. Okay, yeah, that's enough.
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115. Spread the meat.
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116. Crunch!
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117. Cool. Okay.
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118. Did any of that
actually get in your mouth?
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119. 'cause, I mean, now...
shoot.
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120. No wonder y'all's hungry
all the time.
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121. See... uh-uh, uh-uh.
No, no, no, no.
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122. See, look,
why y'all gotta hiss
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123. when you flashin' your fangs?
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124. You know you can make
your teeth come out
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125. without doing
all that nonsense.
Copy !req
126. See?
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127. And can you two get a room?
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128. Seriously, y'all live
in a damn mansion.
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129. There gotta be some other place
you could do that.
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130. I mean, are you two
even lesbians?
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131. Look, I just don't understand
why everything
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132. gotta be all sexual
and licky.
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133. Girl, seriously, man.
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134. You gotta get your hands
up off me
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135. 'fore I you up.
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136. is nasty.
Creepy as.
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137. Been touching my nipple
for 15 minutes.
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138. All this y'all
is doing up in here?
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139. This is just, like,
straight-up gratuitous.
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140. I got bit on purpose
so I could live forever
Copy !req
141. and see future cars.
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142. Yeah, cyrus,
these pants are uncomfortable.
Copy !req
143. And I actually
have a boyfriend.
Copy !req
144. And this song has been playing
for, like, two years,
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145. and it sucks.
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146. Wow.
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147. This just seems...
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148. desperate.
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149. Okay, "desperate"?
Really, Tristan?
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150. It's Christian.
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151. - Really?
- His name ain't even Tristan.
Copy !req
152. So do you all
feel this way?
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153. - Yeah.
- Yeah.
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154. - Kinda.
- Yeah.
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155. Yeah.
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156. Wow.
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157. It's like you can't even get
good friends...
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158. No, you're not even...
Copy !req
159. Okay, and you're leaving now.
That's...
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160. I mean, you know what,
dog, seriously,
Copy !req
161. like, you could fix
this place up.
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162. It'd be dope, though.
For real.
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163. Are cars gonna be able
to fly,
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164. or is everything going to be
on a magnetic track?
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165. I mean, that's what
I want to know.
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166. It's no big deal.
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167. This O-negative
tastes like pennies.
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168. Oh, I'm sorry about...
Hey, hey.
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169. No, no, no, nipple play
is for private time.
Copy !req
170. What if all of this life
we think we're living
Copy !req
171. is just a dream,
Copy !req
172. and when we wake up,
you remember all of it?
Copy !req
173. This is such bull,
you guys.
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174. You guys know
What extras are?
Copy !req
175. They are...
They are the unsung heroes
Copy !req
176. of the television
and the film industry.
Copy !req
177. No, it's true, it's true.
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178. Yes, because they're
the people that stand
Copy !req
179. in the background.
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180. They don't have lines,
but they make up the world.
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181. It's fun to us
when you see somebody
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182. maybe who's new
who doesn't get how to do it.
Copy !req
183. - Right.
- Which happens on our show.
Copy !req
184. Well, yes.
There was one, our first...
Copy !req
185. This is... this is
our favorite encounter...
Copy !req
186. Our favorite encounter
that we've ever had.
Copy !req
187. With a guy,
and we... to be fair,
Copy !req
188. we didn't give him
an exact line.
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189. We said, all right,
just say what you think
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190. would come out of your mouth.
Copy !req
191. - Jordan's playing Obama.
- Right.
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192. And this guy
was meeting Obama.
Copy !req
193. It was like, "Action!"
and Jordan goes,
Copy !req
194. "How you doing?
Nice to meet you, everybody.
Copy !req
195. 'How you doing?
Nice to meet you."
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196. He just got his...
Copy !req
197. huge, masculine black dude,
by the way.
Copy !req
198. - Big, big dude.
- It's actually...
Copy !req
199. You can actually
look this up.
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200. It's the Obama ATM sketch.
Copy !req
201. We actually slowed it down.
We're like, what is he saying?
Copy !req
202. He's saying, "hey, what's up,
Obama, baby?"
Copy !req
203. Hey, man,
this your first time?
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204. Oh, man.
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205. I been doing zombie extra work
on this show since...
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206. day one, first season, man.
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207. My first time.
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208. Oh, it's your first time
on this show?
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209. My first time
being extra at all.
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210. - Ever?
- I'm kind of nervous.
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211. Oh, wow. Okay, man.
Hey, man, it's...
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212. That's all right.
But you'll be all right, man.
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213. It's okay, man.
It's not that hard, man.
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214. You'll be all right.
I'm...
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215. Me personally, dude,
I'm looking
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216. for that lunge bump, though.
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217. What's...
What's a lunge bump?
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218. Oh, that's, uh,
like if you, um,
Copy !req
219. you get featured
if you lunge at somebody,
Copy !req
220. and then you get
a bump in your pay.
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221. And if you really lucky, man,
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222. they blow your head off.
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223. That's straight bank
right there.
Copy !req
224. All right, extras.
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225. I'm the assistant director.
Gather round.
Copy !req
226. Jerry, hey, Jerry,
I had a thought, man,
Copy !req
227. about the first scene
that y'all's doing...
Copy !req
228. - Not now, Stan.
- Steve, it's Steve.
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229. - Okay.
- Okay.
Copy !req
230. I need somebody to lunge
at the fence.
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231. You think you can handle it?
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232. - Him?
- Uh, yeah.
Copy !req
233. It's his first day, though.
He kinda nervous, man.
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234. He kinda nervous.
It's his first day.
Copy !req
235. Okay, so the director's
gonna yell "Action,"
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236. Mack's gonna come by,
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237. and then you're just gonna lunge
into the fence, like,
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238. Graaah!
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239. Y-You want me to say
"Graaah"?
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240. - Oh, this is...
- Say whatever.
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241. This is crazy.
Okay, all right.
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242. Cool, man...
Hey, you know... hey.
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243. That's cool.
Hey.
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244. Hey, you know I got
a lot more experience, man.
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245. You can just use me.
I been here... day one.
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246. First season,
so it... okay.
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247. Cool, all right, that's fine.
You gonna go with him.
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248. All right, good for you, man.
Good for you.
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249. - Graaah? Graaah?
- Nah, dude, do...
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250. you don't have
to say "graaah".
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251. Do whatever the hell
you want to do, man.
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252. That's the lunge bump?
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253. That is the lunge bump, man.
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254. You got it.
You got it.
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255. On your first day.
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256. Ever being a extra.
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257. Ever.
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258. You got it, man.
Good for you.
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259. And action.
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260. Aah!
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261. What's up, Obama, my baby?
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262. What the hell was that?
Cut.
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263. Oh, man, I would be
more than happy
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264. to fill in, man.
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265. I'd be more than happy
to step in.
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266. Mack, just remember
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267. when you're coming
through the factory that,
Copy !req
268. like, your mind is still
on the car outside, all right?
Copy !req
269. Hey, I mean,
y'all gotta pick people
Copy !req
270. based on qualifications, man.
Copy !req
271. - Okay.
- He don't have any experience.
Copy !req
272. It was a good note,
good note.
Copy !req
273. But maybe what I was doing
sort of superseded that.
Copy !req
274. Agreed.
Yeah, we were just...
Copy !req
275. - Yep.
- discussing that.
Copy !req
276. Absolutely, it supersedes it,
yeah.
Copy !req
277. But let's do one
that just cedes it, okay?
Copy !req
278. Just same level.
Copy !req
279. We're going again
straight away, okay?
Copy !req
280. - Wow, okay.
- Right away, reset.
Copy !req
281. He's not doing
a good job at it.
Copy !req
282. You're doing great,
though, man.
Copy !req
283. Opportunity knocks, you gotta
answer the door, man.
Copy !req
284. - And action.
- Wait till I tell you.
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285. Me-me-me-me, me-me,
Copy !req
286. Me-me-me-me-me-me-me!
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287. Cut.
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288. I'd be more than happy
to step in
Copy !req
289. at any time
you want me to.
Copy !req
290. I'd be more than happy
to do it.
Copy !req
291. Just a certain sense
of urgency
Copy !req
292. is all we're looking for.
Copy !req
293. Clock's ticking, you got
survivors to find, right?
Copy !req
294. Can I tell y'all something
for a second?
Copy !req
295. This dude right here is not
doing what a zombie does.
Copy !req
296. This dude was literally
on our last take
Copy !req
297. waving his hand up in the air
like this, Jerry,
Copy !req
298. making Beeker sounds.
Copy !req
299. He sounded like Beeker
From The Muppets, y'all.
Copy !req
300. Thank you, that's great.
Copy !req
301. Just a ticking clock on this
is all we're looking for,
Copy !req
302. Because there are survivors,
is what we're after.
Copy !req
303. - Okay.
- Oh, Jeez.
Copy !req
304. But I felt ambivalence
in there.
Copy !req
305. The ambivalence is art.
It's gorgeous, and we love it.
Copy !req
306. But there are zombies, so if we
could just pick up the pace,
Copy !req
307. just a hair, that'd be great.
Straight away, please.
Copy !req
308. - Right away.
- All right, going again.
Copy !req
309. - Jerry, but Jerry,
we're not doing
Copy !req
310. Night of the Living Muppets,
are we?
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311. - We are not.
- 'cause the Beeker
Copy !req
312. - is not a zombie.
- Do you have any notes?
Copy !req
313. Yeah, don't be
a ing Beeker.
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314. - Quiet, please.
- Action.
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315. I'm gonna eat your brain!
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316. Zombie.
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317. Cut.
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318. No!
Copy !req
319. He actually just said
the word "zombie"!
Copy !req
320. Come on, man!
Copy !req
321. Y'all ever hear of a zombie
saying the word "zombie" before?
Copy !req
322. No, you haven't.
I don't think so.
Copy !req
323. You know what?
Get rid of this guy.
Copy !req
324. Thank you!
That's what I'm talking about.
Copy !req
325. Dude, I'm sorry, dog,
But you terrible at this, man.
Copy !req
326. - Him.
- Hey, man, no.
Copy !req
327. He talking about him.
He's talking about him,
Copy !req
328. 'cause he said "zombie".
Copy !req
329. - Thank you, Steve.
- Because... no.
Copy !req
330. No, you want me to leave?
Copy !req
331. Hey, man, I been up here
staggering around here
Copy !req
332. for 31/2 years,
Copy !req
333. And I been startling extras
left and right.
Copy !req
334. When do I get
to startle the lead, huh?
Copy !req
335. One more for safety.
Straight away, here we go.
Copy !req
336. - Still rolling.
- Action.
Copy !req
337. Hey, what do we do
Copy !req
338. if we have to go
to the bathroom?
Copy !req
339. We like it?
Copy !req
340. - I love it. Genius. Moving on.
- I got it.
Copy !req
341. I was in... I've been...
I was in First Class once.
Copy !req
342. You ever fly First Class?
Copy !req
343. They give you that hot towel.
Copy !req
344. when you're sitting
next to a person
Copy !req
345. who, like, your first...
It's your first time
Copy !req
346. in First Class, and you're
sitting next to a person
Copy !req
347. who knows
how to use the towel.
Copy !req
348. I mean, the person that,
you know...
Copy !req
349. He's using his towel.
Copy !req
350. You're just out there
talking about...
Copy !req
351. I wouldn't...
I wouldn't...
Copy !req
352. No, don't, don't,
Don't, don't, don't.
Copy !req
353. You don't want to do that.
Copy !req
354. You will be
in room 237.
Copy !req
355. And you have
free Wi-Fi there.
Copy !req
356. Also, from 6:00 a.m.
to 10:00 a.m. every morning,
Copy !req
357. there's a free
continental breakfast.
Copy !req
358. Hmm.
Copy !req
359. Continental breakfast.
Copy !req
360. Yes, from 6:00 a.m.
To 10:00 a.m.
Copy !req
361. So it's continental, then.
Copy !req
362. Mm-hmm, yep.
Copy !req
363. Very good.
Copy !req
364. Eh, garçon.
Copy !req
365. One admission
for the continental breakfast.
Copy !req
366. You can just
help yourself, sir.
Copy !req
367. Hmm, interesting.
Copy !req
368. European style.
Copy !req
369. Mm.
Copy !req
370. Ahh.
Copy !req
371. When in Rome...
Copy !req
372. Hmm, the forbidden fruit.
Copy !req
373. Well, aren't you
a tiny plum.
Copy !req
374. Well, la... dee...
Copy !req
375. da.
Copy !req
376. Paper and everything.
Copy !req
377. And who are you,
Copy !req
378. my little friend?
Copy !req
379. Not a spoon...
Copy !req
380. Not a fork...
Copy !req
381. But something in between.
Copy !req
382. A "fopoon".
Copy !req
383. What will you think of next,
Germany?
Copy !req
384. Ahh.
Copy !req
385. All the "Euro-pine" countries
lay before me.
Copy !req
386. Where should I fly to first?
Copy !req
387. Ahh.
Copy !req
388. The pit of the doughnut.
Copy !req
389. Mm, thank you, Turkey.
Copy !req
390. Mm, buckle up.
Copy !req
391. Let's see
where we shall go next.
Copy !req
392. Ah, the Danish!
Copy !req
393. Clearly from Brussels.
Copy !req
394. Mm.
Copy !req
395. Mm, mm!
Copy !req
396. Mm!
Copy !req
397. Hello, Greece,
Copy !req
398. where the yogurt flows
like water.
Copy !req
399. Mm, yes,
Copy !req
400. Like go-gurt,
but to stay.
Copy !req
401. Mm.
Copy !req
402. Mm, so good!
Copy !req
403. Mm, pulling into Spain.
Copy !req
404. Mm!
Copy !req
405. Baked to perfection.
Copy !req
406. Can you believe it?
Copy !req
407. It all comes
with the room!
Copy !req
408. Mm!
Copy !req
409. Mm, mm!
Copy !req
410. Yes!
Copy !req
411. Mm!
Copy !req
412. I love being in-continent!
Copy !req
413. I love being in-continent!
Copy !req
414. A delight to the senses,
Copy !req
415. isn't it, my friend?
Copy !req
416. Isn't it? yes!
Copy !req
417. I'll have
what I'm having!
Copy !req
418. I'll have...
Copy !req
419. what I'm having!
Copy !req
420. So good.
Copy !req
421. It's so good.
Copy !req
422. Thanks.
Copy !req
423. Oh, good afternoon, sir.
Copy !req
424. How can I help you?
Copy !req
425. Well, Davis,
Copy !req
426. I will be staying
indefinitely.
Copy !req
427. But, sir, don't you know
that you've always been here?
Copy !req
428. - Really?
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
429. Continental breakfast?
Copy !req
430. Right around the corner.
Copy !req
431. You guys know that guy
that always says,
Copy !req
432. "Hey, man, everything happen
for a reason"?
Copy !req
433. Ever... You know,
the guy who says,
Copy !req
434. "Everything happen
for a reason,"
Copy !req
435. doesn't have
a ing job.
Copy !req
436. You ever notice that?
Copy !req
437. - I think I know the reason...
- Yeah.
Copy !req
438. for that.
Copy !req
439. 'cause your ass...
Copy !req
440. you showed up late,
talking about,
Copy !req
441. "Everything happen
for a reason."
Copy !req
442. Could be worse.
Copy !req
443. Not that bad.
Copy !req
444. For me,
it's all about perspective.
Copy !req
445. It's what you make
of it.
Copy !req
446. Look, can I tell you
something?
Copy !req
447. All things considered,
Copy !req
448. I'm actually kind of comfortable
right now.
Copy !req
449. Thank God for shock.
Copy !req
450. I can be the kind of prisoner
I want to be.
Copy !req
451. We're still alive.
Copy !req
452. Thank you. Right?
Copy !req
453. - Mm-hmm.
- Just two...
Copy !req
454. injured buddies.
Copy !req
455. - Yes, yeah, mm-hmm.
Copy !req
456. having a friendly convo
while we're waiting
Copy !req
457. to get tortured again.
Copy !req
458. And, you know,
there's a kind of a positive
Copy !req
459. in having no options.
Copy !req
460. - Yes.
- Because, you know,
Copy !req
461. we're not even gonna try
to escape
Copy !req
462. - 'cause we know we'd fail.
- Yes.
Copy !req
463. Tell you another thing.
Don't miss the arm.
Copy !req
464. - Really?
- First of all, lefty.
Copy !req
465. Okay? So this thing
pretty much got in the way.
Copy !req
466. - Ha.
- Keep it, buddy!
Copy !req
467. You fools,
blathering away!
Copy !req
468. Your suffering
has only just begun.
Copy !req
469. Wow.
Copy !req
470. That is
a perfect summation
Copy !req
471. of the human condition.
Copy !req
472. And once
you've embraced that,
Copy !req
473. you can do anything.
Copy !req
474. Bingo.
Copy !req
475. No one has ever suffered
Copy !req
476. as you will!
Copy !req
477. Hah hah hah hah hah hah!
Copy !req
478. You love your work,
Copy !req
479. and that kind
of a positive attitude,
Copy !req
480. quite frankly,
it's contagious.
Copy !req
481. It is.
Copy !req
482. Well, we'll see
how positive you're feeling
Copy !req
483. after I cover your body
in gasoline
Copy !req
484. and set you on fire!
Copy !req
485. You know what, it's amazing
that you would say that,
Copy !req
486. 'cause I was just thinking
Copy !req
487. it's getting a little chilly
in here.
Copy !req
488. - Mm-hmm.
- Thanks so much, man.
Copy !req
489. Damn it!
Copy !req
490. What a dramatic
and fascinating man.
Copy !req
491. I think we owe him
big time.
Copy !req
492. - As do I.
- Really.
Copy !req
493. I mean, all this time
away from my computer,
Copy !req
494. my phone, my work,
it's just...
Copy !req
495. I feel unplugged.
Copy !req
496. Yes, yes. Oh.
Copy !req
497. Oh.
Copy !req
498. Aww.
Copy !req
499. Circle of life.
Copy !req
500. Nants Ingonyama.
Copy !req
501. And I can't really feel
anything anyway,
Copy !req
502. so you help yourself, buddy.
Copy !req
503. Oh, what do you got there?
Copy !req
504. Do you see this?
Copy !req
505. This is what I'm going to use
to cut off your legs!
Copy !req
506. Finally!
Copy !req
507. That's a great saw.
Copy !req
508. I'm a home improvement guy,
and I know my saws,
Copy !req
509. and I gotta tell you,
if you're cutting off legs,
Copy !req
510. that is the way to go.
Copy !req
511. - That's the one?
- That is definitely the one.
Copy !req
512. - Good on ya.
- Why are you doing this to me?
Copy !req
513. You're making me crazy!
Copy !req
514. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Copy !req
515. Somebody needs a day off.
Copy !req
516. We, of all people,
should know how hard he works.
Copy !req
517. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Copy !req
518. Make them stop!
Copy !req
519. This is torture!
Copy !req
520. Noooo!
Copy !req
521. Jordan, say good-bye
to the people.
Copy !req
522. Mm...
Copy !req
523. Bye-bye, Obama, baby.
Copy !req
524. Good night, everybody.
Copy !req
525. Happy Halloween!
Copy !req
526. Happy Halloween!
Copy !req
527. Oh, yeah.
Copy !req