1. - Hey, buddy.
- Hey, my dude.
Copy !req
2. - What's going on, man?
- Okay, we got the...
Copy !req
3. It's good to see...
I'm sorry,
Copy !req
4. I'm talking
at the same time as you.
Copy !req
5. - Okay, go ahead.
- You go ahead and talk.
Copy !req
6. - I'm sorry, go ahead.
- No, it's all right, I...
Copy !req
7. - Go...
- Are you talking right now?
Copy !req
8. Yeah, I'm trying to...
Copy !req
9. - Go ahead.
- All right, this is...
Copy !req
10. - Go ahead.
- Okay, go ahead.
Copy !req
11. - Try to not... um...
- I'm just... I'm gonna talk
Copy !req
12. - And you just keep... okay.
- No, it's you.
Copy !req
13. - I'm sorry.
- No.
Copy !req
14. - All right, I'll go...
- It's just that my internet
Copy !req
15. - connection's a little weak... ugh.
- And then you just... gosh.
Copy !req
16. - Are you talking right now?
- I'm... no.
Copy !req
17. - Are you talking right now?
- I think... I can't tell
Copy !req
18. - If it's a delay...
- God damn it.
Copy !req
19. - Okay.
Copy !req
20. - You go first, and speak...
- I'll talk, and then
Copy !req
21. - You start... no.
- And then... no.
Copy !req
22. - W-what's that?
- What?
Copy !req
23. Wait. What?
Copy !req
24. - God damn it!
Copy !req
25. - I can't believe this.
- Not today!
Copy !req
26. - You got to be kidding me!
- Not today!
Copy !req
27. Ridiculous!
Copy !req
28. Gotta have
this conversation!
Copy !req
29. - Okay, okay.
Copy !req
30. Okay, did the delay come back,
Or are you... did you catch up?
Copy !req
31. You know what?
Let's just lay back, just calm.
Copy !req
32. You haven't caught up,
or we wouldn't be
Copy !req
33. - talking at the same time.
- Wow.
Copy !req
34. - God damn it!
- No.
Copy !req
35. - Okay, listen... okay, listen...
- Okay, here's the thing...
Copy !req
36. We gotta stop trying
to talk at the same time...
Copy !req
37. - Let me just get...
- and try to make...
Copy !req
38. - Okay.
- or this conversation...
Copy !req
39. - Okay... are... all right, fine.
- It's gonna just go on...
Copy !req
40. - forever.
- if... I can't get out of it.
Copy !req
41. - Okay, I can't... listen...
- then that's ridiculous, I'm...
Copy !req
42. I'm... that... no.
Copy !req
43. - What a bunch of...
- God, help me, please!
Copy !req
44. There's only one thing
We can do, okay?
Copy !req
45. - I can't!
- There's only one thing
Copy !req
46. - we can do.
- No, listen to me!
Copy !req
47. - Yeah, we... we got...
- I don't know how to get
Copy !req
48. - out of this!
- Well, then we got to end it.
Copy !req
49. - We... I got to end it.
- I got to end this!
Copy !req
50. - I can't...
- I got to end this!
Copy !req
51. - I can't do it anymore!
- I can't do it anymore.
Copy !req
52. - Okay, fine!
- I can't do it anymore!
Copy !req
53. Then we're gonna end it.
Copy !req
54. - Okay, we're gonna to end...
- I got to...
Copy !req
55. K... Keegan?
Copy !req
56. Keegan, I'm gonna end it.
You're frozen, I can't tell...
Copy !req
57. We're gonna end it,
Okay?
Copy !req
58. I just don't want you
to be offended.
Copy !req
59. Ending it, and... oh!
Copy !req
60. Oh, he really meant
"end it."
Copy !req
61. Whoo!
Copy !req
62. Hello! Mwah!
Copy !req
63. Hello. Hello.
Copy !req
64. - Thank you.
- Man, thank you.
Copy !req
65. - Okay, okay.
- Thank you so much.
Copy !req
66. Thank you so much.
Copy !req
67. - I am Keegan-Michael Key.
- I am Jordan Peele.
Copy !req
68. - And we are Key and Peele.
- we are Key and Peele.
Copy !req
69. Thank you.
Copy !req
70. You guys see that movie
Django Unchained?
Copy !req
71. - Did you see that movie?
- Yeah!
Copy !req
72. Did you see it?
Okay, mm-hmm.
Copy !req
73. That movie...
I didn't want to like that,
Copy !req
74. but that was good, though.
That was good.
Copy !req
75. 'cause I appreciate
Copy !req
76. some historical, you know,
relevance, and some accuracy,
Copy !req
77. and when he shot
that bitch and she flew
Copy !req
78. - across the room...
- And she flew off the thing...
Copy !req
79. - That's me. That's... that's...
- That was worth $12
Copy !req
80. Right there,
that one moment.
Copy !req
81. - But Spike Lee had a problem.
- Yes, he did.
Copy !req
82. - Before the movie came out...
- Before the movie came out,
Copy !req
83. before he had seen it,
he was like...
Copy !req
84. He was like,
"Yo, this is... absolutely"...
Copy !req
85. I'm like, "Get some coffee
in your system, Spike,
Copy !req
86. "'cause you've already
lost my attention."
Copy !req
87. - He didn't like the N-word.
- He didn't like
Copy !req
88. - the prolific use of the N-word.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
89. - Which I... I'm trying to think,
How do I describe it?
Copy !req
90. The N-word...
The use of the N-word in a movie
Copy !req
91. that's set in slave times,
in the South, in the 1850s.
Copy !req
92. - "Accurate," is how I would...
- Accurate.
Copy !req
93. Well,
all right, friends.
Copy !req
94. The first fight of the evening
will feature
Copy !req
95. one of my slaves
versus one of the slaves
Copy !req
96. of my distinguished guest,
Mr. Jacob Dixon.
Copy !req
97. You know, Robert,
Copy !req
98. I hope you're as gracious
a loser as you are a host.
Copy !req
99. All right, enough talk.
Copy !req
100. Now...
Copy !req
101. Fight, you devils!
Fight to the death!
Copy !req
102. - Hey.
- Hey.
Copy !req
103. - Um, question.
- Mm-hmm?
Copy !req
104. How do we get
out of this thing alive?
Copy !req
105. It's really simple.
Just let me pretend to kill you.
Copy !req
106. Hmm.
Copy !req
107. Maybe it just makes more sense
if I pretend to kill you.
Copy !req
108. - Yeah.
- Yeah, I just...
Copy !req
109. I want to make it
believable, so...
Copy !req
110. Well, that's what I was...
That's what I was going for too.
Copy !req
111. - Really?
- What the blazes
Copy !req
112. is going on over there
in that endless clinch?
Copy !req
113. Tear him apart!
Copy !req
114. - Okay, let's...
- Oh! you get... mm!
Copy !req
115. So just...
just die from this.
Copy !req
116. From this? Um, just...
Copy !req
117. You know what? Just...
Something doesn't feel right,
Copy !req
118. So if I could just...
If I just...
Copy !req
119. - Let me... Go with me here.
- Okay. Oh.
Copy !req
120. Oh.
Copy !req
121. Yup, that was it, that was it.
This feels much more real.
Copy !req
122. - So...
- Really? What? Why?
Copy !req
123. Um, sorry,
What do you mean "Why?"
Copy !req
124. Fight! My God!
Copy !req
125. Oh.
Copy !req
126. I-I'm getting
frustrated now.
Copy !req
127. Damn it, kill!
Copy !req
128. Nope, not a thing.
Not a thing.
Copy !req
129. Not a thing?
Okay, let me just get...
Copy !req
130. Mm, I'm gonna get him.
I got him.
Copy !req
131. - Let me get you, though.
- Just let me get you, though.
Copy !req
132. - No, let me get you.
- No, let me get you.
Copy !req
133. It was my idea,
so can I do it first?
Copy !req
134. - Let me get you.
- Let me get you, though.
Copy !req
135. - Let me get you.
- Just for, like, a second.
Copy !req
136. Will you just let me get you
for a second, please?
Copy !req
137. Let me get you.
Let me get you!
Copy !req
138. Stop fighting like sissies
and kill each other!
Copy !req
139. - Okay.
- All right.
Copy !req
140. - Okay, check this out.
- Yeah, mm-hmm.
Copy !req
141. All right,
we'll back up,
Copy !req
142. - Mm-hmm.
- and you run at me real fast,
Copy !req
143. just do a bunch of spins,
and kicks, and flourishes,
Copy !req
144. and I'll just knock you out,
one punch, and then you're dead.
Copy !req
145. Great, okay...
No, wait, wait, what?
Copy !req
146. I'm sorry, so you can look cool?
No, thank you.
Copy !req
147. If someone doesn't die soon,
I will kill you both.
Copy !req
148. Thank you.
Copy !req
149. - Ah!
- Ohh!
Copy !req
150. Ah, that's my boy!
Copy !req
151. Ohh!
Copy !req
152. Ah!
Copy !req
153. Oh... ahh!
Copy !req
154. You are not getting stronger
from my punches.
Copy !req
155. - Yes, I am, though!
- Listen, come here.
Copy !req
156. You've got to...
No, listen, listen.
Copy !req
157. Let's be fair, okay?
Copy !req
158. We both slam into each other,
and we both die.
Copy !req
159. Fair?
Copy !req
160. - That's fair.
- All right.
Copy !req
161. One!
Copy !req
162. - This will be good.
- Two!
Copy !req
163. Three!
Copy !req
164. - What?
- Oh, you son of a bitch!
Copy !req
165. You were never
gonna fall.
Copy !req
166. You didn't even try
to fall down.
Copy !req
167. - You were never...
- It's, like, the fakest thing...
Copy !req
168. The thing is, you're...
Copy !req
169. - How 'bout that?
- Don't... no.
Copy !req
170. Don't hit me.
Oh, what's that?
Copy !req
171. - Ow.
- What are you doing?
Copy !req
172. - Cut the...
- Come on.
Copy !req
173. Oh, you hit my balls.
Copy !req
174. Hey, everybody!
Copy !req
175. War's over!
Copy !req
176. Slavery is abolished.
Copy !req
177. Sorry.
Copy !req
178. - We'll call it a draw.
- Done.
Copy !req
179. Good for you, though, huh?
Copy !req
180. - Thank you?
- Let's go.
Copy !req
181. - Well, wait, before you...
- No, no, no, no, no, hold up.
Copy !req
182. Just... just... if... just if I may,
Who do you think
Copy !req
183. - would have won the fight?
- Yeah, between the two of us?
Copy !req
184. We've had,
on a couple of occasions,
Copy !req
185. like, I mean,
real super-tough,
Copy !req
186. like, tatted-up Mexican dudes
Walk up to us and go,
Copy !req
187. "Hey, homes.
Copy !req
188. "Like, you guys
Should make fun of us."
Copy !req
189. You know, the guy's, like...
Blink, he's got
Copy !req
190. a "K" and a "P"
Tattooed here.
Copy !req
191. - We're like, "No, it's okay."
- "It's all right."
Copy !req
192. "It's all right."
"No, you should do it.
Copy !req
193. - "Like, make fun of us more."
- "Nah."
Copy !req
194. "Because you guys... you guys
are leaving us out."
Copy !req
195. - You can't...
- "Like, don't leave us out.
Copy !req
196. "We're trying to have fun too,
okay?"
Copy !req
197. Yeah.
Copy !req
198. "We're trying
To have fun, ese."
Copy !req
199. That's some scary,
when their eyes get big.
Copy !req
200. - That's some scary.
- "Hey."
Copy !req
201. No.
Copy !req
202. I don't want none of that.
Copy !req
203. It's like, if you have
human sacrifice in your DNA,
Copy !req
204. I'm not gonna make fun of you.
Copy !req
205. Okay,
let's get this thing going.
Copy !req
206. Everybody take a seat.
Copy !req
207. We got to have
More meetings, homes,
Copy !req
208. 'cause I'm telling you, man,
we got to get organized.
Copy !req
209. Carlito ain't got a seat, man.
Someone get him a chair.
Copy !req
210. No, I'm cool.
Copy !req
211. No, dude, get him a chair,
homes.
Copy !req
212. I'm gonna sit gangster.
Copy !req
213. But, Carlito, it doesn't look
Like it's comfortable, man.
Copy !req
214. Why don't you
Just sit in the chair?
Copy !req
215. I never sit
in no chair, ese.
Copy !req
216. Mm-mmm.
Copy !req
217. You never, ever gon' catch me
sitting in no chairs.
Copy !req
218. Hey, ese, you know that
That's loco, right?
Copy !req
219. No, man.
Copy !req
220. It's cool, Carlito.
Copy !req
221. No one's gonna think
you're soft
Copy !req
222. - if you sit in a chair, homes.
- Yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
223. - We're all sitting in chairs.
- Right.
Copy !req
224. - Bunch of bitch-ass culeros.
Copy !req
225. - ÿQue?
- I don't have no time
Copy !req
226. to sit in no chair.
Copy !req
227. Okay.
Copy !req
228. Now that we're all here...
Copy !req
229. You know what?
But why, though?
Copy !req
230. Like, it don't make no sense
for you to set yourself up
Copy !req
231. with a rule like that.
Copy !req
232. - No, it's, like, limiting.
- Yeah, limiting.
Copy !req
233. - Limiting.
- I mean, sometimes,
Copy !req
234. People sit in chairs.
Copy !req
235. Man, all of you guys
with your bitch-ass chairs.
Copy !req
236. There.
Copy !req
237. Okay, Carlito, quit playing
and sit in the chair, pendejo.
Copy !req
238. - No.
- Carlito,
Copy !req
239. we have to have this meeting
now, ese. Get up!
Copy !req
240. I'm good right here, man.
Copy !req
241. - You know...
- I'm chilling.
Copy !req
242. Go ahead with your meeting.
Copy !req
243. Okay, but you know
It's going to be weird.
Copy !req
244. You don't care
that it's going to be weird?
Copy !req
245. Weird for you, maybe.
Copy !req
246. He doesn't care.
Okay.
Copy !req
247. Okay, homies,
so this is what we have to do,
Copy !req
248. like, we got to sell
more drugs...
Copy !req
249. and we got to make
Copy !req
250. more crimes happen.
Copy !req
251. Roberto, where are we...
Copy !req
252. Carlito,
You're bleeding, ese!
Copy !req
253. Who cares, man?
Copy !req
254. Yo, whoa!
You just got shanked, man!
Copy !req
255. - We got to pull that out!
- Leave it!
Copy !req
256. I'm chilling, homes.
Copy !req
257. I don't care
about that stupid shank.
Copy !req
258. Carlito.
Copy !req
259. Carlito, wake up, man!
Copy !req
260. Hey,
don't even bother, ese.
Copy !req
261. What?
Copy !req
262. ¡Oh, dios mio!
Copy !req
263. I don't need
those defibrillators.
Copy !req
264. I don't even want to come back
to life, homes.
Copy !req
265. Carlito,
Go back into your body.
Copy !req
266. - My body's stupid, homes.
- What?
Copy !req
267. I'm fine right here
on the spirit plane.
Copy !req
268. Life is for pussies.
Copy !req
269. Carlito.
Carlito, go to the light.
Copy !req
270. Nah, I'm good, man.
Copy !req
271. Carlito,
that's Heaven, man.
Copy !req
272. I don't need to go
to Heaven, homes.
Copy !req
273. - Heaven is for pussies.
- Oh, boy.
Copy !req
274. Hello, and welcome
To the fifth annual meeting
Copy !req
275. of the Tallahassee
Black Republicans.
Copy !req
276. - Now, I'm pissed!
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
277. - Royally pissed!
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
278. Last november, Barack Obama
was re-elected President,
Copy !req
279. and the black vote
went almost entirely to him!
Copy !req
280. Dagnabbit.
Copy !req
281. We're not getting
our message out, obviously.
Copy !req
282. The Republican Party
is and should be
Copy !req
283. - the only home for black votes.
- Yes, sir.
Copy !req
284. Now, people think that
black voters are a monolith.
Copy !req
285. We're not a monolith.
Copy !req
286. - What? What?
- No, we're not.
Copy !req
287. - In fact,
Black Republicans alone
Copy !req
288. are an extremely diverse
group of people.
Copy !req
289. Now, to speak more
on diversity,
Copy !req
290. I present tonight's speaker,
Copy !req
291. Mr. Douglas Jackson.
Copy !req
292. Now, I'm not gonna
sugarcoat it, I'm pissed!
Copy !req
293. I'm royally pissed.
Copy !req
294. The liberal media
thinks that Republicanism
Copy !req
295. - is not for black people.
- Mm.
Copy !req
296. - Now, you tell me, what
about fiscal responsibility,
Copy !req
297. a strong national defense,
and a limited government
Copy !req
298. is unappealing
to black people?
Copy !req
299. - We're not a monolith!
- Mm-mmm.
Copy !req
300. We come in all different
shapes and sizes.
Copy !req
301. - We do.
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
302. Now, who here would like
to come up to this podium
Copy !req
303. and speak about the diversity
amongst Black Republicans?
Copy !req
304. Oh.
Copy !req
305. Gentlemen,
we have a real treat today,
Copy !req
306. a gentleman
who is a little bit eccentric,
Copy !req
307. a little bit outside of the box,
if you will,
Copy !req
308. but I can't think
of a better person to speak
Copy !req
309. on diversity
amongst Black Republicans
Copy !req
310. than this gentleman
right here.
Copy !req
311. All the way from Orlando,
my good friend,
Copy !req
312. Arthur Washington!
Copy !req
313. It's good to see you.
It's good to see you.
Copy !req
314. Good to see you, man.
Copy !req
315. Thank you
for the introduction,
Copy !req
316. Brother Douglas.
Copy !req
317. Thank you for being here,
Brother Arthur.
Copy !req
318. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
319. However, I am...
pissed.
Copy !req
320. Royally pissed.
Copy !req
321. - Indeed, indeed!
- All right.
Copy !req
322. - Democrats think
they have the right
Copy !req
323. to all the black people.
Copy !req
324. But that is not the case.
Copy !req
325. We are not a monolith.
Copy !req
326. Democrats may be cool,
but they ain't practical.
Copy !req
327. There you go.
Copy !req
328. Republicans
are practical.
Copy !req
329. Black people
are practical!
Copy !req
330. - Come to think of it...
- Get those pants.
Copy !req
331. I think Black Republicans
are pretty cool.
Copy !req
332. Hear, hear, hear, hear.
Copy !req
333. Not to mention
very diverse.
Copy !req
334. There we go. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
335. Excuse me, gentlemen.
Sorry to interrupt.
Copy !req
336. Someone's white wife
is here to pick them up.
Copy !req
337. Was her name Emily?
Copy !req
338. - Uh, she was white.
- Oh, great, that's...
Copy !req
339. Anybody here enjoy
athletics and sports?
Copy !req
340. Something that
we find very interesting
Copy !req
341. is that sometimes,
the celebrations
Copy !req
342. after somebody
has done something positive
Copy !req
343. in a sporting event
are more violent
Copy !req
344. - than the sport itself.
- They're just...
Copy !req
345. - They're so jacked up.
- Why is that?
Copy !req
346. Yeah!
They're so amped up!
Copy !req
347. They're crazy.
They're just...
Copy !req
348. - Dudes get amped up!
- We did that, man.
Copy !req
349. - We won that!
- We done... yeah.
Copy !req
350. - We won that!
- Yeah, we did.
Copy !req
351. - We won that, son!
- You did that stuff, boy.
Copy !req
352. - What? What?
- You did it, son.
Copy !req
353. - We won that, son!
- We won that!
Copy !req
354. They thought we couldn't do it,
but we could do it!
Copy !req
355. - We did it, son!
- We did it... yeah!
Copy !req
356. We did it, man!
Copy !req
357. Come on, man!
We did it!
Copy !req
358. - We did it!
- We did it.
Copy !req
359. Silence it.
We did it.
Copy !req
360. We did it.
Copy !req
361. We did it... oh.
Copy !req
362. We did it.
Copy !req
363. Oh, yeah!
Copy !req
364. Good victory, guys!
Good victory!
Copy !req
365. Hey, hey, come on, good game!
Slap-ass, man!
Copy !req
366. Hey, good game!
Copy !req
367. Get some slap-ass!
Copy !req
368. Yeah, dog!
Yes, man!
Copy !req
369. Good game!
Slap-ass!
Copy !req
370. Hey, who's next? Who...
Copy !req
371. Hey, Garcia!
Come on, man, get you some.
Copy !req
372. Come on, let's get
some slap-ass over here.
Copy !req
373. No!
Copy !req
374. What? Why... why not?
Copy !req
375. I said no, Rafi.
Copy !req
376. He's had enough, Rafi.
Copy !req
377. We've all had enough.
Copy !req
378. Enough of what?
Copy !req
379. Enough of the damn
ass-slapping, Rafi.
Copy !req
380. Gracias.
Copy !req
381. The slap-ass?
Copy !req
382. - Si, yes. Si.
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
383. Guys, who cares
how much I slap ass?
Copy !req
384. So what?
I slap ass!
Copy !req
385. No big deal, man.
I'm a baseball player.
Copy !req
386. That's what we do.
We hit home runs,
Copy !req
387. and slap ass.
Come on, huh?
Copy !req
388. Rafi, that's not
how we all see baseball.
Copy !req
389. Everybody does it.
All the teams slap ass, man.
Copy !req
390. You...
You slap ass, Garcia!
Copy !req
391. Like, a couple of times
a game.
Copy !req
392. What?
So what, man?
Copy !req
393. Why the
you counting, man?
Copy !req
394. Who knows how many times
I slap ass, or how many...
Copy !req
395. 427 times.
Copy !req
396. Okay, time flies when
you're having fun, man. What...
Copy !req
397. My families come
to these games, Rafi.
Copy !req
398. My son is always asking me
Copy !req
399. why I'm letting this man
touch my butt so many times.
Copy !req
400. And you say "slap-ass"
every time.
Copy !req
401. Every time!
Copy !req
402. Okay, hold on one second.
Let's go to the time-out.
Copy !req
403. I'm from
the Dominican Republic, okay?
Copy !req
404. All I know,
since I was a little kid,
Copy !req
405. is to catch fly balls
and to say "Slap-ass"
Copy !req
406. every single time
I slap ass!
Copy !req
407. This is the Major Leagues,
Rafi.
Copy !req
408. We are all from
the Dominican Republic.
Copy !req
409. Nobody here has ever heard
anyone say "Slap-ass"
Copy !req
410. before you.
Copy !req
411. Quit playing, man.
Come on, get your slap-ass.
Copy !req
412. - Rafi!
- Rafi, enough! Okay?
Copy !req
413. I'm...
Copy !req
414. Okay.
You're right.
Copy !req
415. I know you're right about it.
Copy !req
416. I have a problem, okay?
Copy !req
417. I know that.
Copy !req
418. And I decide to stop
right now.
Copy !req
419. Bueno.
Copy !req
420. Right after I get
that Garcia slap-ass.
Copy !req
421. - Come on.
- Hey, hey, hey!
Copy !req
422. - What?
- No, Rafi!
Copy !req
423. Hey, come on, eh?
Copy !req
424. I'm fine, all right?
Fine, I get it!
Copy !req
425. Get up out of here!
Copy !req
426. - Come on!
- Get out of the locker room!
Copy !req
427. You get out
of the locker room!
Copy !req
428. You're the only slap-ass
that matters, Garcia!
Copy !req
429. You are not
getting a slap-ass!
Copy !req
430. Hey, Garcia, man,
can I talk to you for a second?
Copy !req
431. - Oh.
- Hold up.
Copy !req
432. Hey, Rafi, what's up?
Copy !req
433. Oh, man, I just talked
To the manager, man.
Copy !req
434. He says he's going
to trade me, man.
Copy !req
435. I mean, what the hell, you know?
I got kids, too, right?
Copy !req
436. Yeah, well, we all told you
what was going to happen
Copy !req
437. - If you...
- Hey...
Copy !req
438. I really could use
that one slap-ass, man.
Copy !req
439. - Rafi.
- Come on, man.
Copy !req
440. Just one slap-ass, you know?
Just one...
Copy !req
441. Just for old times' sake,
you know?
Copy !req
442. Get me back on my feet.
I really...
Copy !req
443. Just one for the road, man.
I could really use it.
Copy !req
444. Okay, okay.
Copy !req
445. Good game! Slap-ass!
Copy !req
446. I got to get home
to my kids.
Copy !req
447. Okay.
Copy !req
448. Oh.
Garcia, man.
Copy !req
449. I'll suck your if you
let me slap your ass again.
Copy !req
450. No!
Copy !req
451. Garcia,
I'll suck your.
Copy !req
452. Ohh, slap-ass, slap-ass,
slap-ass, slap-ass, slap-ass,
Copy !req
453. slap-ass, slap-ass.
Copy !req
454. Welcome
to Metta World News.
Copy !req
455. In fashion,
if you woke up, and there
Copy !req
456. was a 4-inch miniature human
standing on your chest,
Copy !req
457. would you swat them off?
Copy !req
458. I was really challenged
by this question.
Copy !req
459. I would hope that I would
engage them in conversation.
Copy !req
460. But in reality,
I think I'd be scared of them
Copy !req
461. and swat them away,
which would probably kill them.
Copy !req
462. Well, that wraps up
Metta World News
Copy !req
463. for this Wednesday, October
Noise-canceling Octagon Tire.
Copy !req
464. I'm Metta World Peace.
Good night.
Copy !req
465. Did I fulfill my contract,
Satan?
Copy !req
466. We love you.
Thank you.
Copy !req
467. - Hey, it was a good show, man.
- It was a good show!
Copy !req
468. - We won that show, dog!
- Yeah, we did!
Copy !req
469. - We won that show, baby!
- Yeah, we did!
Copy !req
470. - We won that show!
- What?
Copy !req
471. - We won that show!
- We did!
Copy !req
472. - We won that show.
- Come on...
Copy !req
473. Oh yeah!
Copy !req