1. Nothing like a lazy
Sunday morning, right?Copy !req
2. Is it Sunday?
I-I don't know what day it is.Copy !req
3. Oh, Robert Mitchum's balls
couldn't have been that big.Copy !req
4. I'm reading, too.Copy !req
5. Long drip, long drip, short drip?Copy !req
6. How do they come up with this stuff?Copy !req
7. You're breathing in mold, Judy.Copy !req
8. Whoa!Copy !req
9. An earthquake?Copy !req
10. But my pour-over hasn't fully bloomed yet.Copy !req
11. Is it too late to pack a go bag?Copy !req
12. Oh, no!Copy !req
13. Look alive, y'all. It's kitten season.Copy !req
14. Isn't it beautiful, Kev?Copy !req
15. All the feral cats in New York
raw-dogged each other,Copy !req
16. and these are the babies.Copy !req
17. Yeah, I know how sex works.Copy !req
18. Could've fooled me.Copy !req
19. - Shred! Shred! Shred!
- Hey, hey.Copy !req
20. Get off my book, you delinquents.Copy !req
21. Goddamn it.Copy !req
22. Now I'm never gonna find out what
Shirley MacLaine did with those big balls.Copy !req
23. - Tyler! Tyler! Tyler!
- No, no, no, Tyler.Copy !req
24. Listen up, team.Copy !req
25. Until these cutie patooties get adopted,Copy !req
26. it's our job to keep them away
from anything dangerous.Copy !req
27. No stairs, no basement,Copy !req
28. and especially no dryer.Copy !req
29. It's bad for business if Yelp saysCopy !req
30. a bunch of kittens
got Chernobyled in our Maytag.Copy !req
31. One went in the microwave last year,
and this kitchen still don't smell right.Copy !req
32. Oh, God.Copy !req
33. Cheat day.Copy !req
34. Oh, no, they shrunk everyone.Copy !req
35. Or maybe I got turned big?Copy !req
36. They're kittens, Judy. It's kitten season.Copy !req
37. A whole season just for me?Copy !req
38. Aw, honey, you're not
a new kitten anymore.Copy !req
39. You're part of last year's collection.Copy !req
40. - I am?
- Yep.Copy !req
41. One day you're a hot new item,Copy !req
42. and before you know it,
you're trash out on the curb.Copy !req
43. Like me and Kevin.Copy !req
44. Hey, I'm not trash.Copy !req
45. It's like Seth said.Copy !req
46. These guys need someone
to watch out for them.Copy !req
47. Like a cool older brother.Copy !req
48. Someone to teach them
about important bands like PavementCopy !req
49. and how to roll a doobie.Copy !req
50. And I can teach them
how to draw a hand turkey.Copy !req
51. The secret is tracing.Copy !req
52. Uh-oh! Tyler's back at it!Copy !req
53. I don't miss my mom!Copy !req
54. Nice move, Tyler.Copy !req
55. Critical rizz flaw, though.Copy !req
56. You didn't make sure
enough honeys were watching.Copy !req
57. Honeys are... honeys are girls.Copy !req
58. Shut the fuck up, virgin.Copy !req
59. I'm Kevin.Copy !req
60. Yum, yum. This doggy loves dog food.Copy !req
61. I am dog.Copy !req
62. You can drop the act with me.Copy !req
63. Is not act.Copy !req
64. Is... acting.Copy !req
65. Armando... I have huge news.Copy !req
66. Is Madonna doing stand-up again?Copy !req
67. No. Me and the Central Park Neigh-ers
want you to direct our next production.Copy !req
68. Pass. You know I'm retired.Copy !req
69. And I'm not returning
for your shitty all-horse theater troupe.Copy !req
70. Why you do that? Why you retire
from best business, business of show?Copy !req
71. I can tell you in one word:Copy !req
72. Patti.Copy !req
73. From the moment she turned up,
she was an undeniable talent.Copy !req
74. Oh, and together, we made Broadway magic.Copy !req
75. But then... things took a turn.Copy !req
76. Patti stopped taking direction, poisonedCopy !req
77. the crew against me,
and made my life a living hell.Copy !req
78. The theater just wasn't big enough
for the both of us, so I leftCopy !req
79. and never stepped foot on a stage again.Copy !req
80. But Patti?Copy !req
81. She became its biggest star.Copy !req
82. Okay, guess we'll haveCopy !req
83. to find someone else to direct...Copy !req
84. Mame? You got the rights to Mame?Copy !req
85. I've wanted to get my paws
on Mame for ages.Copy !req
86. What is this Mame?Copy !req
87. Mame is a beloved American musicalCopy !req
88. about a fun-loving, bohemian aunt who
teaches her orphaned nephew how to live.Copy !req
89. - Thank you.
- Well, I can't pass this up.Copy !req
90. I'm in! But let's get one thing straight.Copy !req
91. It's my show, and I call the shots.Copy !req
92. Oh, my God, of course!Copy !req
93. Now I know I read
as more of an Agnes Gooch.Copy !req
94. But can I please play Auntie Mame?Copy !req
95. Please, please, please. Please!Copy !req
96. Would you be willing to drop 300 pounds?Copy !req
97. - I'm on Mounjaro.
- Double it.Copy !req
98. Aw, look at those little nerds.Copy !req
99. Everyone else is having a blast.Copy !req
100. We got to show them how
to have a good time.Copy !req
101. I'm gonna teach them
how to do a somersault.Copy !req
102. Aah!Copy !req
103. Oopsies.Copy !req
104. Hang tight, Judy.
I'll go get a bike pump or something.Copy !req
105. Hey, hey! What's good? I'm Kevin.Copy !req
106. Um, we doing shots?Copy !req
107. Jäger, Fireball, Friskies Sour?Copy !req
108. That's bourbon with kibble floating in it.Copy !req
109. Oh, no thank you.Copy !req
110. Alcohol is so bad for you.Copy !req
111. - Yeah, poison.
- So bad.Copy !req
112. - We just do coke and Molly.
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
113. Me, too.Copy !req
114. Let's sit by the pool. You dudes aren't
catching any rays over here in the shade.Copy !req
115. The sun is literally sky cancer.Copy !req
116. - So toxic.
- So hot.Copy !req
117. Hi! I'm Judy!Copy !req
118. I want to hug you all "hello,"
but my eczema is extra flaky today.Copy !req
119. I love this cat.Copy !req
120. - You do?
- That was so authentic and unfiltered.Copy !req
121. - Authentic.
- Unfiltered.Copy !req
122. You know, if you like gross stuff,
you should really check out my butthole.Copy !req
123. - It's misshapen because of my brother.
- Kevin!Copy !req
124. Wow. It's so good to see you make friends.Copy !req
125. He used to lick himself raw
if he even saw another cat.Copy !req
126. Dana. What are you doing here?Copy !req
127. Uh, the rescue posted a story
about needing volunteers, so, surprise!Copy !req
128. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
129. I told you I needed space.Copy !req
130. And you got some space.Copy !req
131. And I guess I just thought
this volunteering thing might be like a—Copy !req
132. I don't know—
a chill way for us to hang out?Copy !req
133. Well, you thought wrong!Copy !req
134. And showing up at my new home unannounced
is wildly inappropriate!Copy !req
135. Yeah, this seems kind of private.Copy !req
136. - Bye, Judy!
- Bye, Calvin.Copy !req
137. I'll-I'll catch up with you later!Copy !req
138. I might do a screening
of, uh, Reservoir Dogs.Copy !req
139. Goddamn it, Dana!
You're fucking up my shit!Copy !req
140. Hey, volunteer,
stop standing around and get to work!Copy !req
141. What's your problem, yappy little gremlin?Copy !req
142. You can't say "yappy"! That is our word!Copy !req
143. - Ow!
- Now, let's go! That was a warning bite.Copy !req
144. - Ow!
- Next time, I'm gonna break the skin.Copy !req
145. Ooh. A Popsicle with no stick!Copy !req
146. Yum! It tastes like nicotine!Copy !req
147. Okay, young lady,
I think that's all of it.Copy !req
148. Oh, wait. No, it's not.Copy !req
149. Aah. Aah!Copy !req
150. - And you need me...
- Oh.Copy !req
151. to take a picture of this
and email it to your internist?Copy !req
152. You got to fax it!Copy !req
153. Hmm.Copy !req
154. "Gantron."Copy !req
155. Now, that's a good kitten name.Copy !req
156. I've earned myself another nap
on this shelf.Copy !req
157. Brandi? My sweet cream puff?Copy !req
158. I'm... I'm afraid I have some bad news.Copy !req
159. Do we already got too many Gantrons?Copy !req
160. No. It appears the vet we bookedCopy !req
161. for our kitten spay-and-neuter clinic
today canceled.Copy !req
162. - What?
- She had an emergency.Copy !req
163. She said she "had to go
to the Times Square Hershey's storeCopy !req
164. to try the new giant peanut butter cup."Copy !req
165. But we can't move no merchandise
if the merchandise still got gonads.Copy !req
166. We need to hack them sacks!Copy !req
167. I don't think
you're understanding the situation.Copy !req
168. - The peanut butter cup is really big.
- Ugh.Copy !req
169. You know, if you need...Copy !req
170. some snippin' and clippin',
I'm your cat.Copy !req
171. I spent 18 months as a vet tech in Brazil.Copy !req
172. It was 2016,Copy !req
173. and Olympic fever had descended upon Rio.Copy !req
174. I don't care
about any of that shit!Copy !req
175. This is America!
And these are American gonads!Copy !req
176. I see how it is.Copy !req
177. Your loss!Copy !req
178. I don't know, Brandi.Copy !req
179. I believe in Cupcake.Copy !req
180. Maybe we should give her a chance.Copy !req
181. It's only major surgery.Copy !req
182. Okay. Fine.Copy !req
183. - Huzzah!
- But if this thing goes tits up,Copy !req
184. it's your flat ass on the line!Copy !req
185. Uh, now, sweetie, Devorah says my flat ass
is off limits during arguments.Copy !req
186. Well, fuck Devorah!Copy !req
187. I don't trust no shrink
who don't go to church!Copy !req
188. Okay.Copy !req
189. Now that Dana's not here
to fuck things up,Copy !req
190. I can get back
to helping those poor little nerds.Copy !req
191. Oh, shit.Copy !req
192. - Is that Charles Melton?
- I saw himCopy !req
193. on The Drew Barrymore Show!Copy !req
194. Oh, no, they're probablyCopy !req
195. annoying the shit out of him,
asking him for selfies.Copy !req
196. The Drew Barrymore Show
is the only show I watch.Copy !req
197. It's on at the doctor.Copy !req
198. Charles! Melton.Copy !req
199. Sorry if the kiddos are
hounding ya here, Charles... Melton.Copy !req
200. Uh... yeah, no. Yeah, they're not.Copy !req
201. You can't blame 'em, right?Copy !req
202. They've never been around
an award-winning actor.Copy !req
203. Or an award-nominated.Copy !req
204. Well, you should have been nominated.
For an Oscar.Copy !req
205. Gosh, that must have been...Copy !req
206. - That must have been heartbreaking.
- Wait.Copy !req
207. - You're an actor?
- Yeah. But it's just my job.Copy !req
208. It's not who I am.Copy !req
209. We were talking about recycling.Copy !req
210. I mean, does it even make a difference,
or is it just theater?Copy !req
211. Yeah, my friend KJ told me
it all just goes to the dump.Copy !req
212. What are we supposed to even do?Copy !req
213. - Sad.
- Quandry.Copy !req
214. I think the question isn't,
"What do I do?"Copy !req
215. It's "Why has it been left to me,
the individual, to decide,Copy !req
216. - while corporations do nothing?"
- Wow.Copy !req
217. - Wow, wow, wow.
- Where the hell did that come from?Copy !req
218. That was... so insightful.
What's your name?Copy !req
219. I forgot.Copy !req
220. She's Mother!Copy !req
221. Yes. Judy is Mother!Copy !req
222. Mother is mothering.Copy !req
223. Okay, Judy is Mother,
but I'm Big Broseph, right?Copy !req
224. I can score you some nudie magazines,
get you some cigarettes.Copy !req
225. Hey, that's not cool.
My friend OD'd last month.Copy !req
226. - On cigarettes?
- Aw. That's terrible.Copy !req
227. I give up.
I don't... I don't understand you guys.Copy !req
228. I'm sorry. Come on, Judy. Let's go.Copy !req
229. Wait! No! Don't go!Copy !req
230. You want me to stay?Copy !req
231. We meant Judy.Copy !req
232. You want to be my friend?Copy !req
233. Yeah, girl. You're Mother.Copy !req
234. I actually can't be a mother
because my uterus is in my foot.Copy !req
235. Major Mother vibes.Copy !req
236. Okay, I'm-I'm done. I'm out.Copy !req
237. Hmm. Let's see.Copy !req
238. Cute kitten names.Copy !req
239. Zezozose Zadfrack Glutz!Copy !req
240. I bet nobody's come up
with that one before.Copy !req
241. - Hey, Brandi.
- Oh, what now?Copy !req
242. Did one of those little idiot kittens
split his skull open in my dryer?Copy !req
243. I don't know.
I came here to reconnect with Kevin,Copy !req
244. but you've got me wrist-deep
in some old dog's watery shit.Copy !req
245. Let's get something straight, sister.Copy !req
246. You work for me now.Copy !req
247. And if you don't do what I say,
I'm calling the cops.Copy !req
248. And trust me, I love calling the cops.Copy !req
249. I bet you do, fascist.Copy !req
250. Fuck you, Gap Outlet!Copy !req
251. Fuck you, ratchet Snoopy!Copy !req
252. Oh! You're a feisty one.Copy !req
253. Maybe I like you.Copy !req
254. Somebody to match my freak.Copy !req
255. Sit down and help me do names.Copy !req
256. If I "do names," can I go talk to Kevin?Copy !req
257. Deal! Ha!Copy !req
258. I'm a good girl who's good at deals.Copy !req
259. Yeah, so...Copy !req
260. I'm pretty sure
that "Zezozose Zadfrack Glutz"Copy !req
261. is what the Manson Family
named one of their kids.Copy !req
262. Goddamn it! I am so sick of having
parallel thinking with Charles Manson!Copy !req
263. Ow. Ow. Ooh, ow. Ooh, ow.Copy !req
264. Dimitri, don't blow this for me.Copy !req
265. Peter, only foolish moron would believe
we are horse.Copy !req
266. Well, hello there.Copy !req
267. You must be new on the scene.Copy !req
268. I would have remembered
such a handsome stallion.Copy !req
269. I'm sorry, but... no showmance for Peter.Copy !req
270. He must focus
on what matters most: the work.Copy !req
271. Before we begin, a few rules.Copy !req
272. You're all on vocal rest,
you can only drink Brooklyn tap water,Copy !req
273. and times have changed
since my last production,Copy !req
274. so I can't fuck you.Copy !req
275. But you can fuck me.Copy !req
276. - Ah.
- Well, good to know.Copy !req
277. - Any questions?
- Um, yes.Copy !req
278. This nephew horse I play—
what make him tick?Copy !req
279. What his greatest trauma?Copy !req
280. He's a fucking orphan. What do you think?Copy !req
281. All right,
let's run through the opening number.Copy !req
282. A five, a six, a five, six, seven, eight.Copy !req
283. Aah! My leg! My fucking leg!Copy !req
284. Billy.Copy !req
285. It's just a sprain!
It's just a...Copy !req
286. No, no, no, no, no—Copy !req
287. Okay, everyone, from the top!Copy !req
288. Wow, Mando.Copy !req
289. Day one,
and you already killed your Gooch.Copy !req
290. Patti.Copy !req
291. Patti LuPony.Copy !req
292. Dr. Cupcake!Copy !req
293. We have one more patient
who's ready to get spayed—Copy !req
294. Oh, no!Copy !req
295. They're monsters! You made them monsters!Copy !req
296. Zip 'em up, move 'em out.Copy !req
297. Yes, chef.Copy !req
298. And you can go.
Remember, your back'll hurt at first,Copy !req
299. but you'll grow into 'em.Copy !req
300. And baby, they look bangin'.Copy !req
301. Cupcake, I trusted you!Copy !req
302. I backed you up in front of Brandi!Copy !req
303. Well, what's the problem?Copy !req
304. I did the snippin' and the clippin'.Copy !req
305. I also offered some "cosmetic upgrades."Copy !req
306. I mean, look how snatched these cats look.Copy !req
307. This is the best-looking pussy
you've ever seen.Copy !req
308. Huh. They do seem more confident.Copy !req
309. And you could be, too!Copy !req
310. Me? Oh, stop.Copy !req
311. Are you telling me
that there is nothing you want to changeCopy !req
312. about this whole dusty mess?Copy !req
313. It's your flat ass on the line!Copy !req
314. Flat... ass.Copy !req
315. I have always been insecure
about my... tuchus.Copy !req
316. Damn, Seth.Copy !req
317. You got no cake in that pan.Copy !req
318. I never should have shown you what I got.Copy !req
319. Oh, I've seen worse, a lot worse.Copy !req
320. - I worked at Patagonia.
- Oh.Copy !req
321. So tell me, what is your dream ass?Copy !req
322. I've actually made a few sketches.Copy !req
323. Ooh, Sethie,
I always knew you was a freak.Copy !req
324. - Oh, yes!
- Gross!Copy !req
325. I have COVID. Should I go home?Copy !req
326. - Hey.
- Oh.Copy !req
327. How's the volunteer work going?Copy !req
328. Good. Very fulfilling.Copy !req
329. Well, aren't you such a good person.Copy !req
330. Okay, are you just gonna
be mad at me forever?Copy !req
331. - Maybe.
- Ugh.Copy !req
332. I'm sorry I showed up like this.Copy !req
333. It's just been really weird without you.Copy !req
334. Can we just go somewhere and talk?Copy !req
335. Somewhere with, like,
less kittens with tits?Copy !req
336. Kevin! We need your help!Copy !req
337. Is that Charles Melton?Copy !req
338. Yeah, of course it is.Copy !req
339. Try and keep it in your pants, okay?Copy !req
340. Judy, Chuck, what are y'all up to?Copy !req
341. You need some tunes?Copy !req
342. I got a Pavement mix
that'll change your life.Copy !req
343. We're making hygiene kits
for the unhoused.Copy !req
344. That's what you're doing at a party?Copy !req
345. Uh-huh. And we wanted to pick your brainCopy !req
346. about what a senior cat
on the streets might need.Copy !req
347. Do you need a soft toothbrush
for your old teeth?Copy !req
348. - Diapers, right?
- Whoa, whoa. Senior cat?Copy !req
349. Wait.Copy !req
350. How old do you think I am?Copy !req
351. Hmm. Fourteen?Copy !req
352. You think I'm 14?Copy !req
353. Oh, sorry. Are you 15?Copy !req
354. - What the fuck!
- Hey!Copy !req
355. I want to get mad
and yell about stuff, too!Copy !req
356. Why'd they take Jack Paar off the air?
I miss Jack Paar.Copy !req
357. - I don't know who that is.
- Ah, your memory's going, too, David?Copy !req
358. No, it's not!
I'm young and cool and full of life! Ugh...Copy !req
359. And I'm full of scabs.Copy !req
360. I eat my scabs.Copy !req
361. - Mother!
- Yes, Mama!Copy !req
362. She birthed me.Copy !req
363. Patti.Copy !req
364. What a surprise.Copy !req
365. I heard
you were turned into Elmer's years ago.Copy !req
366. Huh. That's weird.Copy !req
367. I heard you choked to death on a hairballCopy !req
368. - while going down on a stray.
- Oh!Copy !req
369. Who is this saucy horse with Bob?Copy !req
370. Is this intimacy coordinator?Copy !req
371. This, ladies and gentlemen,
is Patti LuPony,Copy !req
372. the toast of Broadway
and the bane of my existence.Copy !req
373. Ha! You call this an existence?Copy !req
374. You might as well be doing
the Summer Spectacular at SeaWorld.Copy !req
375. Haven't lost your touch, I see.Copy !req
376. Blowing up our rehearsal
just like you did your fifth marriage.Copy !req
377. That one wasn't my fault.Copy !req
378. Butterscotch was gay.Copy !req
379. What the fuck are you doing here?Copy !req
380. Mame brought me here.Copy !req
381. I've been waiting my whole life
to play this role.Copy !req
382. I'm sorry,
but we already have our Auntie Mame,Copy !req
383. and Faye has a very unique take
on the character.Copy !req
384. In this version, I'm Cajun!Copy !req
385. Jambalaya. Zatarain's.
True Detective, Season One.Copy !req
386. Oh, please.
This is amateur hour, and you know it.Copy !req
387. Billy, let's do it in B flat!Copy !req
388. God almighty, she's a star.Copy !req
389. She is very good for intimacy coordinator.Copy !req
390. Peter, I am taking smoke break.Copy !req
391. Patti, that performance
sent chills down my spine.Copy !req
392. I'd love to give you the part, but...
I fucking hate you.Copy !req
393. Bye-bye now.Copy !req
394. Ha! Your loss, doll.Copy !req
395. Oh, you got to watch out
for dem gators, y'all.Copy !req
396. They crawl over dem banks
and bite your head off.Copy !req
397. Faye, it's getting offensive.Copy !req
398. - Big bro!
- Yeah!Copy !req
399. - Big bro! Big bro!
- This cat is bussin'!Copy !req
400. Let him cook!Copy !req
401. I am bussin'!Copy !req
402. - Bro, you are wild!
- You— Whoa.Copy !req
403. You want to see something wild?Copy !req
404. I'll show you something really wild.Copy !req
405. I'm gonna go inside the dryer!Copy !req
406. Let's fucking go... to the basement!Copy !req
407. Big bro Kevin gonna show you
how to do it... dryer style!Copy !req
408. I'm a normal guy.Copy !req
409. I buy my own groceries at Erewhon.Copy !req
410. I'm-I'm sorry. I-I feel like
you're not listening to my story.Copy !req
411. I don't know. Tayvin?Copy !req
412. How you spelling that?Copy !req
413. T-A-Y-V-I... N?Copy !req
414. Hot damn! You're killing it!Copy !req
415. Yeah?Copy !req
416. Hi! We had a little question
about this kitten.Copy !req
417. Whoa.Copy !req
418. We were just wondering
if you had an extra bra on hand.Copy !req
419. Her back's a little sore, you know.Copy !req
420. Yeah. Let me see. Well, here you go.Copy !req
421. - Underwire, on the house.
- Thanks.Copy !req
422. Oh, no, thank you.Copy !req
423. Now you have fun
with that precious little bikini babe.Copy !req
424. Sethica Michael Hirsch!Copy !req
425. Uh-oh. I'm in trouble.Copy !req
426. You incompetent, low-T dickstain!Copy !req
427. I knew Cupcake was up to something!Copy !req
428. And I told you if she fucked things up,
it was your flat ass I was tearing apart!Copy !req
429. Speaking of my flat ass...Copy !req
430. I have something to show you.Copy !req
431. I got a B.S.B.Copy !req
432. - What?
- A Big Shelf Butt.Copy !req
433. Because you love to lay on shelves.Copy !req
434. And now my tuchus is shaped like one.Copy !req
435. You idiot!Copy !req
436. Put me up on that Big Shelf Butt!Copy !req
437. To keep screaming at me? You got it.Copy !req
438. Ugh. This is reminding me
too much of my parents.Copy !req
439. Now look what you done!Copy !req
440. I'm curling up!Copy !req
441. And... falling asleep.Copy !req
442. And I'm dreaming about killing you.Copy !req
443. Every night, I dream about killing you.Copy !req
444. Oh. I have to use the washroom very badly,
but I'll hold it.Copy !req
445. Heads up. I had to move the hole.Copy !req
446. Oh, okay, one more time, Faye.Copy !req
447. And remember,
Billy still has one bullet left.Copy !req
448. Yes, mon ami.Copy !req
449. No, no, no. Like this.Copy !req
450. - Oh!
- I'm tryin' my level best, cher,Copy !req
451. but we been at it so long,
my bouche done turnt to gumbo.Copy !req
452. Can I be Faye for a minute?Copy !req
453. Please.Copy !req
454. I'm so bad, right? Like, I'm really bad?Copy !req
455. And I can't carry this show?Copy !req
456. - Yes.
- You know who we need.Copy !req
457. Oh. You're right.Copy !req
458. Is director gone?Copy !req
459. He is.Copy !req
460. Oh, yeah, show me what dat thing do.Copy !req
461. I mean your horse penis.Copy !req
462. Peter, I have to go.
I have coding class.Copy !req
463. Dry-er! Dry-er! Dry-er!Copy !req
464. All right, raise your hand
if you want me to do it delicate cycle?Copy !req
465. Oh, shit.Copy !req
466. - So you want permanent press?
- Yeah!Copy !req
467. How about... heavy duty?Copy !req
468. Ow!Copy !req
469. Fuck!Copy !req
470. My sleep app says if I don't
go to bed right now, it'll shoot my dad.Copy !req
471. Wait! We need to help Kevin!Copy !req
472. Why? He's so problematic.Copy !req
473. - And ugly.
- And 15.Copy !req
474. But he's my friend, and I'm gonna
help him, because I'm Mother.Copy !req
475. Okay, we really got to go.Copy !req
476. The app just sent me a gun emoji.Copy !req
477. My sleep app kidnapped
my little sister,Copy !req
478. so now I've got a flip phone.Copy !req
479. Aw, I miss Natalie.Copy !req
480. Wait! Kevin, you don't have to do this!Copy !req
481. You don't get it, Judy.Copy !req
482. My bussy's out, and this shit slaps.Copy !req
483. Let... me... cook.Copy !req
484. Whoa. Ow! Ooh!Copy !req
485. Seth, turn your shelf ass around so
I can yell at these little abominations!Copy !req
486. Wait. Is that a kitten in that dryer?Copy !req
487. No! It's Kevin!Copy !req
488. - Oh. Let it run, then.
- Kevin?Copy !req
489. Whoa. Ah.Copy !req
490. Goddamn it, Dana!Copy !req
491. I can't believe
you keep doing all this to me!Copy !req
492. Oh, my God, are you drunk?
You could have died in there!Copy !req
493. - Ow. Ow.
- Hey. Hey.Copy !req
494. - Ow! Get— Uh, ow.
- Don't fucking pick me up! Aah!Copy !req
495. Aah! Goddamn it! You scratched me!Copy !req
496. Well, I don't like being picked up,
and I've told you that a million times,Copy !req
497. but you never listen to me!Copy !req
498. Stop being a fucking baby.
I just wanted to talk to you.Copy !req
499. I don't care what you want.
I'm done with you.Copy !req
500. In fact... I never want to see you again.Copy !req
501. Kevin.Copy !req
502. All right, party's over!Copy !req
503. Go, go, go! Move, move, move!Copy !req
504. What in the—? Is that a meatball?Copy !req
505. And are those carrots, escarole and orzo?Copy !req
506. She filled your ass
with Italian wedding soup!Copy !req
507. Oh, my. I can feel none of this.Copy !req
508. Well, well, well.Copy !req
509. If I wanted to see old pussy,Copy !req
510. I would have gone down
to the set of And Just Like That...Copy !req
511. Patti, I'm here because
the show needs you. I need you.Copy !req
512. Armando, you're the most frustrating,Copy !req
513. bullheaded, bitchiest director
I've ever worked with.Copy !req
514. I see.Copy !req
515. But you're also the best director
I've ever worked with.Copy !req
516. - Count me in.
- Oh, thank God.Copy !req
517. Faye was about
to start learning voodoo.Copy !req
518. And if I'm being honest,
I need this show, too.Copy !req
519. My career really took a hit
after Equus Live on NBC.Copy !req
520. You just kept stomping that boy!Copy !req
521. He was on my mark!Copy !req
522. Well, I've got to translate this script
out of Fay-jun.Copy !req
523. By the way,
I want the biggest dressing room.Copy !req
524. And not the one
Beanie Feldstein cried all over.Copy !req
525. "Mame talks like a normal human woman."Copy !req
526. Armando, you got any Advil?Copy !req
527. Ow!Copy !req
528. Mother is serving... you some soup.Copy !req
529. Oh, God. Pills and soup.
I'm getting so old.Copy !req
530. At least you and your friend Dana made up.Copy !req
531. No, we didn't.
I told her I never want to see her again.Copy !req
532. If she pulls that shit again,
you get a restraining order.Copy !req
533. Yeah, litigation.
That would be "mother" of me.Copy !req
534. Am I using "mother" correctly?
I really don't understand it.Copy !req
535. Guys, is it cool if me and my girlfriend
go to third base in here?Copy !req
536. - No!
- Did you say girlfriend?Copy !req
537. Wait till the horses in my mom's
retirement home hear about this.Copy !req
538. Okay.Copy !req
539. Chirp.Copy !req