1. OH, HERE IT GOES.Copy !req
2. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
NICKELODEON AND THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
3. OH, THANK YOU!
THANK YOU SO MUCH.Copy !req
4. WOW. OW. STOP.
OH, THANK YOU.Copy !req
5. WELCOME TO THE KENAN
AND KEL SHOW.Copy !req
6. FOR THOSE OF Y'ALL
THAT DON'T KNOW,Copy !req
7. MY NAME IS KENAN!Copy !req
8. YES! YES!Copy !req
9. YES!Copy !req
10. AND FOR Y'ALL
THAT DON'T KNOW—Copy !req
11. THE CAPITAL OF TURKEY
IS ISTANBUL!Copy !req
12. KEL, NOBODY CARES
ABOUT TURKEY, MAN.Copy !req
13. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
INTRODUCING YOURSELF
TO THE PEOPLE.Copy !req
14. OH. I'M KEL!Copy !req
15. OH, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.Copy !req
16. AND, HEY, KENAN, DID YOU
KNOW THAT THE LARGEST LEMON
IS 77 POUNDS?Copy !req
17. NO. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
THAT'S GREAT.Copy !req
18. ANYWAY, TONIGHT'S
EPISODE IS FANTASTIC.Copy !req
19. OH, AND DID YOU KNOW
THAT A CAMEL'S HUMP
HAS WATER IN IT?Copy !req
20. DID YOU KNOW
THAT I DON'T CARE?Copy !req
21. WE'RE TRYING TO DO
AN EPISODE HERE.Copy !req
22. WHAT'S WITH
ALL THE FACTS?Copy !req
23. WELL, I GOT IT
OUT OF THIS BOOK.Copy !req
24. IT'S CALLED THE BIG BOOK
OF EVERYTHING!Copy !req
25. THE BIG BOOK
OF EVERYTHING?Copy !req
26. MM-HMM.Copy !req
27. YEAH, IT HAS EVERYTHING
IN IT. MM-HMM.Copy !req
28. REALLY?Copy !req
29. YEAH.Copy !req
30. DOES IT HAVE
MY FAVORITE COLOR
IN THERE?Copy !req
31. WELL, LET'S JUST SEE.Copy !req
32. OH, THERE IT IS!
RIGHT THERE.Copy !req
33. "KENAN'S FAVORITE
PLAID."Copy !req
34. HUH? WHAT? HOW
DID THE BOOK KNOW
MY FAVORITE COLOR?Copy !req
35. I TOLD YOU, IT'S
THE BIG BOOK OF EVERYTHING!Copy !req
36. OH, REALLY?Copy !req
37. WELL, DOES IT KNOW
WHAT TONIGHT'S EPISODE
GONNA BE ABOUT?Copy !req
38. LET'S SEE. MM-HMM.Copy !req
39. "TROUBLE ABOUNDS
WHEN KENAN AND KEL—"Copy !req
40. OH! NO, NO. YOU
DON'T NEED TO READ.Copy !req
41. NO, NO. DON'T NEED
TO READ THAT.Copy !req
42. NOW, COME ON,
CRUNGIE. WE GOT
A SHOW TO DO.Copy !req
43. UH, KENAN!Copy !req
44. KENAN, W-W-WHY DOES IT ALWAYS
HAVE TO BE A SURPRISE?Copy !req
45. KENAN!Copy !req
46. AWWWWWWW! HERE IT GOES!Copy !req
47. DID YOUR DAD EVER
TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIMECopy !req
48. HE HID A LIVE PIG
IN THE PRINCIPAL'S CAR?Copy !req
49. I DON'T THINK WE NEED
TO HEAR THAT STORY.Copy !req
50. NO, NO.Copy !req
51. HE WAS CRAZY BACK
IN THOSE DAYS.Copy !req
52. IN FACT, YOU KNOW WHAT
WE USED TO CALL HIM?Copy !req
53. FREDDY, THE TALKING
CAMEL BOY?Copy !req
54. NO. WE USED
TO CALL HIM CRAZY ROGER!Copy !req
55. I GET IT!
'CAUSE HE CRAZY AND
HE'S NAMED ROGER.Copy !req
56. HA HA HA! THAT'S
PRETTY CLEVER.Copy !req
57. YEAH, YEAH,
YEAH, YEAH.Copy !req
58. OH, KENAN, I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THAT, HONEY.
WE COULD BE HERE ALL NIGHT.Copy !req
59. HEY NOW!Copy !req
60. UH, MR. ROCKMORE,Copy !req
61. I MEAN, YOU
AND MR. MALONE WENT
TO THE SAME SCHOOL.Copy !req
62. KEL!Copy !req
63. I MEAN,
COME ON, HE'S
A MULTI-MILLIONAIRECopy !req
64. WITH HIS OWN COMPANY
AND YOU'RE JUST...Copy !req
65. BALD.Copy !req
66. ALL RIGHT, SO SINCE
WE ON THE SUBJECT,Copy !req
67. HOW DID YOU
GET TO BE RICH?Copy !req
68. KENAN, DON'T BE SO RUDE.Copy !req
69. HOW DIDYOU GET
TO BE SO RICH?Copy !req
70. WELL, I STARTED
WORKING IN THE MAILROOM
OF A LARGE COMPANYCopy !req
71. WHEN I WAS JUST
ABOUT YOUR AGE, KENAN.Copy !req
72. 10 YEARS LATER,
I WAS RUNNING THE PLACE.Copy !req
73. AND DO YOU KNOW
HOW I DID IT?Copy !req
74. UH-UH.Copy !req
75. I KNOW!
YOU TRAINED A HYENA,Copy !req
76. THEN TO IMPRESS
YOUR BOSS,Copy !req
77. YOU TAUGHT HIM
HOW TO DO A LITTLE
HYENA DANCE.Copy !req
78. I BET IT
WENT LIKE THIS.Copy !req
79. ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
80. SO, UH, I BELIEVE
YOU WERE TELLING ME
HOW TO GET RICH.Copy !req
81. THAT'S RIGHT. 2 WORDS.Copy !req
82. HARD WORK.Copy !req
83. HEY.Copy !req
84. HARD WORK.
I LIKE THAT.Copy !req
85. YOU KNOW,
THAT'S WHY I GOT
AN AFTER-SCHOOL JOB.Copy !req
86. I LIKE WORKING HARD.
I AM NO STRANGER
TO HARD WORK.Copy !req
87. HA!Copy !req
88. WHEN WAS
THE LAST TIMECopy !req
89. YOUR BOSS
GAVE YOU A RAISE?Copy !req
90. WELL, UH...Copy !req
91. UH, NEVER.Copy !req
92. NEVER?Copy !req
93. WHY, THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS!Copy !req
94. YOU KNOW WHAT?Copy !req
95. YOU'RE RIGHT.Copy !req
96. WHY, FIRST THING
TOMORROW MORNING,Copy !req
97. I'M GOING TO MARCH MYSELF
RIGHT INTO CHRIS' OFFICECopy !req
98. AND I'M GOING TO SAY...Copy !req
99. CHRIS!Copy !req
100. I NEED A RAISE!Copy !req
101. ME, TOO.Copy !req
102. KEL, YOU CAN'T
GET A RAISE.Copy !req
103. OH—OH—OH, OK.
THAT'S HOW YOU'RE
GONNA TREAT ME, HUH?Copy !req
104. I GIVE THIS STORE
THE BEST YEARS
OF MY LIFE!Copy !req
105. AND THIS IS HOW
YOU REPAY ME!Copy !req
106. KEL, YOU DON'T
WORK HERE.Copy !req
107. OH, YEAH.Copy !req
108. SO, WHAT'S
YOUR ANSWER, CHRIS?Copy !req
109. BUT I THOUGHT—Copy !req
110. HEY, HEY, HEY, KENAN,
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH?Copy !req
111. HE SAID, "NO!"Copy !req
112. ALL RIGHT, FINE.Copy !req
113. BUT I GUESS
I JUST HAVE TO WORK
SOMEPLACE ELSE THEN.Copy !req
114. W-W-WHAT? WHAT?
WAIT A MINUTE.
HEY, HEY, HEY, KENAN.Copy !req
115. WAIT, WAIT. HEY, MAN,
YOU CAN'T QUIT.Copy !req
116. IF YOU QUIT, THEN
I CAN'T GET ANY MORE
FREE ORANGE SODA.Copy !req
117. KEL, RELAX, MAN.
I'M NOT REALLY GONNA QUIT.Copy !req
118. I JUST WANT CHRIS
TO THINK I'M QUITTING,
SO HE'LL GIVE ME THE RAISE.Copy !req
119. AHH!Copy !req
120. SO, UH...Copy !req
121. WHAT DO YOU SAY, MAN?Copy !req
122. DO I GET THE RAISE,
YES OR NO?Copy !req
123. NO.Copy !req
124. UH... WELL, FINE.Copy !req
125. WELL, I GUESS I JUST
HAVE TO QUIT THEN.Copy !req
126. SO, HERE I GO...Copy !req
127. QUITTING...Copy !req
128. ON MY WAY OUT
THE QUITTER'S DOOR...Copy !req
129. TO QUITSTOWN.Copy !req
130. KENAN, WAIT!Copy !req
131. I'M GONNA MISS YOU!Copy !req
132. OH, MAN! WHAT YOU
TALKING ABOUT?Copy !req
133. DON'T SPEAK.Copy !req
134. I HATE
LONG GOODBYES.Copy !req
135. JUST GO BEFORE
I GET ALL WEEPY.Copy !req
136. WEEPY? GO!Copy !req
137. ALL RIGHT, FINE.Copy !req
138. COME ON, KEL.Copy !req
139. MAN...Copy !req
140. NOW, I DON'T HAVE A JOB!Copy !req
141. MAN, HOW AM I SUPPOSED
TO GET RICH NOW?Copy !req
142. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?Copy !req
143. BAKE ME SOME COOKIES?Copy !req
144. NO, MAN!Copy !req
145. YOU KNOW WHAT
I SHOULD DO?Copy !req
146. BAKE ME SOME COOKIES?Copy !req
147. NO! IT'S TO GET A JOBCopy !req
148. IN THE MAILROOM
OF A COMPANY, LIKE
MR. MALONE DID!Copy !req
149. YEAH! THEN IN 10 YEARS,Copy !req
150. I COULD BE
A MILLIONAIRE, TOO!Copy !req
151. SHOOT! WHO NEEDS
DUMB OLD RIGBY'S?Copy !req
152. THERE'S GOT
TO BE A MAILROOM JOB
SOMEWHERE IN HERE.Copy !req
153. HELP ME!Copy !req
154. AH! HERE IT IS, KEL!Copy !req
155. "MAILROOM JOB OPENING."Copy !req
156. I FOUND IT! KEL, KEL.Copy !req
157. KEL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?Copy !req
158. I'M TRYING TO OPEN
THIS ORANGE SODA.Copy !req
159. HERE, MAN.Copy !req
160. NOW, COME ALONG, SLURPIE.
WE GOT SOME WORK TO DO.Copy !req
161. MMM.Copy !req
162. OH! OH! OH!Copy !req
163. UH!Copy !req
164. OH!Copy !req
165. OH, MAN.Copy !req
166. OK.Copy !req
167. HEY, KENAN,
WHAT YOU READING?Copy !req
168. NOTHING.
IT'S MY RESUME.Copy !req
169. OH, LET ME SEE.
"KENAN ROCKMORE.Copy !req
170. RIGBY'S GROCERY."Copy !req
171. AAH! HEY, THIS
IS VERY IMPRESSIVE.Copy !req
172. MAN, YOU GOT THIS JOB.
COME ON, NOW!Copy !req
173. HA HA HA! YEAH!Copy !req
174. YOU'RE RIGHT, FREDDY.Copy !req
175. KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
WHAT'S UP, DOG?Copy !req
176. GRR! HEY THERE!
HOW YOU DOING?Copy !req
177. YOU GOING OUT FOR
THE MAILROOM JOB, TOO?Copy !req
178. I DON'T THINK SO.Copy !req
179. I'LL BE INTERVIEWING
FOR THE EXECUTIVE
VICE-PRESIDENT POSITION.Copy !req
180. NOW,
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME.Copy !req
181. I HAVE
A PHONE CALL...Copy !req
182. ON MY CELL PHONE.Copy !req
183. YES?Copy !req
184. I'LL BE INTERVIEWINGCopy !req
185. FOR THE EXECUTIVE
VICE-PRESIDENT POSITIONCopy !req
186. BECAUSE I HAVE
A NICE BRIEFCASE
AND MY CELL PHONE.Copy !req
187. "MY CELL PHONE."Copy !req
188. OH, MAN.Copy !req
189. I'LL BET THIS GUY'S RESUME
ISN'T BETTER THAN YOURS.Copy !req
190. YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M SAYING, MAN.Copy !req
191. LET ME SEE.Copy !req
192. OH, WAIT, KEL.
DON'T GO INTO HIS—Copy !req
193. LET ME SEE.
UH-HUH, YEAH. A-HA!Copy !req
194. OH, COME ON.Copy !req
195. OH, HERE WE GO,
HERE WE GO.Copy !req
196. "REGINALD VAN BUREN."Copy !req
197. HA HA!Copy !req
198. AH, WAIT A MINUTE.Copy !req
199. "HARVARD...
BUSINESS SCHOOL?"Copy !req
200. OH! WAIT,
I WAS WRONG, KENAN.
HE IS BETTER THAN YOU.Copy !req
201. OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL.
NOW, PUT THE MAN'S STUFFCopy !req
202. BACK IN HIS BRIEFCASE
BEFORE HE'S COMING—Copy !req
203. OH, MAN! I KNEW IT!
HE'S COMING!Copy !req
204. WHAT DID YOU SAY?Copy !req
205. THE MAN!
HE'S COMING!
THROW THAT IN HERE.Copy !req
206. LET'S CLOSE IT,
LET'S CLOSE IT,Copy !req
207. LET'S CLOSE IT,
LET'S CLOSE IT.Copy !req
208. NEXT?Copy !req
209. OH. THAT—THAT'S ME.Copy !req
210. KEL, I NEED MY RESUME, MAN.Copy !req
211. OH, THERE YOU GO.Copy !req
212. HEY,
HOW'S IT GOING?Copy !req
213. HOO!Copy !req
214. "KENAN ROCKMORE?"Copy !req
215. THAT'S STRANGE.Copy !req
216. HUH!Copy !req
217. HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.Copy !req
218. I KNOW WHAT'S
GOING ON HERE.Copy !req
219. YOUR NAME'S
KENAN ROCKMORE, TOO, HUH?Copy !req
220. DEFINITELY NOT!Copy !req
221. HA! OH.Copy !req
222. UH-OH!Copy !req
223. THIS IS A VERY
IMPRESSIVE RESUME,Copy !req
224. AND—AND YOU SEEM
SO YOUNG TO HAVE
SO MUCH EXPERIENCE.Copy !req
225. WELL, MY BOYISH
GOOD LOOKS MAKE ME LOOKCopy !req
226. A LITTLE YOUNGER
THAN I AM.Copy !req
227. YOU KNOW, LIKE 161/2.Copy !req
228. AND—AND—AND
YOU HAVE EXPERIENCE
IN THE STOCK MARKET.Copy !req
229. WELL... WELL, YEAH.Copy !req
230. HA HA HA.Copy !req
231. HA HA HA.Copy !req
232. AND YOU HAVE
A SENSE OF HUMOR, TOO.Copy !req
233. WELL, YOU KNOW...Copy !req
234. YOU KNOW,
YOU ARE EXACTLYCopy !req
235. WHAT WE'RE LOOKING
FOR IN AN EXECUTIVE
VICE-PRESIDENT.Copy !req
236. EXECUTIVE VICE-PRESIDENT?Copy !req
237. YES.Copy !req
238. UH, WELL, UM...
CAN I SEE THAT RESUME
FOR A SECOND?Copy !req
239. YES, BY ALL MEANS. UH, THANKS.Copy !req
240. IS THERE SOME
PROBLEM, REGINALD?Copy !req
241. OH, NO, NO, NO.
WELL, ACTUALLY,Copy !req
242. I THINK THERE'S BEEN
A LITTLE MISTAKE.
YOU SEE, MY NAME IS—Copy !req
243. UH, DID SOMEBODY ELSE
MAKE YOU ANOTHER OFFER?Copy !req
244. WE'LL TOP IT.Copy !req
245. HOW DOES $100,000
A YEAR SOUND?Copy !req
246. OH, NO.Copy !req
247. WHAT?Copy !req
248. UH, UH, I'M SORRY.
I USUALLY DON'T FAINT
IN MEETINGS.Copy !req
249. OH! LOOK WHAT I DID!
I'M SORRY.Copy !req
250. I DIDN'T MEAN
TO SPILL YOUR BEVERAGE.Copy !req
251. OH, UM... $100,000.Copy !req
252. YES.Copy !req
253. WELL, U.S. DOLLARS.Copy !req
254. YES.Copy !req
255. 100,000 OF THOSE AND,
UH, THAT'S FINE WITH ME,Copy !req
256. YOU KNOW,
'CAUSE I'M REGINALD...Copy !req
257. "VAN BUREN."Copy !req
258. YOU KNOW, THAT'S MY NAME.Copy !req
259. PSST!Copy !req
260. Kenan!Copy !req
261. Reginald.Copy !req
262. No, no, no, see.
It's me—Kel.Copy !req
263. I need to talk
to you, Kenan.Copy !req
264. HEH HEH HEH.Copy !req
265. Call me,
Reginald, man.Copy !req
266. UHH!Copy !req
267. IS THERE—IS THERE
SOME PROBLEM?Copy !req
268. OH, NO, NO.
NO PROBLEM.Copy !req
269. SEE, I'LL EXPLAIN
EVERYTHING.Copy !req
270. UH-HUH.Copy !req
271. SEE, WE WERE OUT THERE
AND WHAT HAPPENED WAS—Copy !req
272. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
SEE, THIS IS, UH,
MY PERSONAL ASSISTANT.Copy !req
273. UH-HUH.Copy !req
274. I AM?
YES.Copy !req
275. OK, REGINALD.
YOU DRIVE
A HARD BARGAIN.Copy !req
276. YOU'RE HIRED, TOO.Copy !req
277. HUH? WHAT?
I'M HIRED, TOO?Copy !req
278. I'M HIRED, TOO.
OH, MAN. AH, THIS IS GREAT.Copy !req
279. AH, YOU WON'T
REGRET THIS, BUDDY.Copy !req
280. UH, UH, KEL! KEL,
GET OFF THE NICE MAN.Copy !req
281. OH, I'M SORRY,
I'M SORRY.Copy !req
282. WELL, UH...Copy !req
283. WELCOME ABOARD,
GENTLEMEN.Copy !req
284. UH!Copy !req
285. All right.Copy !req
286. WOW!Copy !req
287. KEL, DID YOU HEAR THAT?I KNOW!Copy !req
288. WE GOT JOBS!Copy !req
289. YEAH!Copy !req
290. WHOO! I'M AN EXECUTIVE
VICE-PRESIDENT.Copy !req
291. AND I AM
YOUR ASSISTANT.Copy !req
292. WHOO-WEE!Copy !req
293. YEAH, UH-HUH.Copy !req
294. JUST ONE THING.Copy !req
295. WHAT DO WE DO HERE?Copy !req
296. I HAVE NO IDEA.Copy !req
297. HEY, KENAN,
SORRY I'M LATE.Copy !req
298. KEL! WHAT ARE
YOU WEARING?Copy !req
299. HEY, WELL, YOU TOLD ME
TO WEAR A SUIT.Copy !req
300. WELL... I WOULD...
TRY TO...Copy !req
301. AH, FAIR ENOUGH.Copy !req
302. HEY, CHECK THIS OUT.Copy !req
303. YES, MR. VAN BUREN?Copy !req
304. RIGHT AWAY, SIR.Copy !req
305. HA HA HA!Copy !req
306. HEE!Copy !req
307. AH HA HA HA!Copy !req
308. ORANGE SODA! OH, MAN!Copy !req
309. OH, MAN, YOU GET
FREE ORANGE SODA.
THIS IS GREAT.Copy !req
310. MMM!Copy !req
311. MMM!Copy !req
312. MMM!Copy !req
313. KENAN, I CAN'T
BELIEVE YOU GET
FREE ORANGE SODA, MAN!Copy !req
314. COME ON, YOU GOT
TO DO IT AGAIN.Copy !req
315. DO IT AGAIN, KENAN.
DO IT AGAIN.Copy !req
316. LISTEN, LISTEN.
YOU GOT TO STOP
CALLING ME KENAN.Copy !req
317. AROUND HERE YOU GOT
TO CALL ME REGINALD.Copy !req
318. OH, OK. I'LL CALL
YOU REGINALD.Copy !req
319. HEY, KENAN,
DID YOU EVER FIND OUTCopy !req
320. WHAT THE EXECUTIVE
VICE-PRESIDENT DOES?Copy !req
321. NO.
AND MATTER OF FACT,Copy !req
322. I DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHAT THIS
COMPANY DOES, MAN.Copy !req
323. I MEAN, THEY GOT TO MAKE
OR SELL SOMETHING.Copy !req
324. YEAH.Copy !req
325. I GOT IT.Copy !req
326. MAYBE THEY SELL...Copy !req
327. DIRT.Copy !req
328. YEAH!Copy !req
329. 'CAUSE EVERYBODY
LIKES TO BUY DIRT.Copy !req
330. YEAH.
YEAH.Copy !req
331. YEAH, THAT—
LOOK...Copy !req
332. MAN,
JUST FIND OUT WHAT
THE COMPANY DOES.Copy !req
333. I MEAN, ASK AROUND,
BUT DON'T LET NOBODY KNOW
THAT WE DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
334. ALL RIGHT.
I GOT YOU, KENAN.Copy !req
335. REGINALD.Copy !req
336. OH, I'M SORRY.
BIG REGGIE.Copy !req
337. OH, HEY, HEY.
I'M AN ASSISTANT. HA HA HA!Copy !req
338. REGINALD, HOW'S
THE FIRST DAY GOING?Copy !req
339. HEY. OH, GREAT.Copy !req
340. YOU KNOW,
I'M JUST EAGERCopy !req
341. TO JUMP RIGHT IN AND
START WORKING HARD.Copy !req
342. AND I WANT YOU
TO GIVE A SPEECH.Copy !req
343. YOU KNOW,
OUTLINING YOUR PLANS,
GOALS FOR THE COMPANY.Copy !req
344. TODAY? TODAY?Copy !req
345. UM... NO.Copy !req
346. UH, I—TODAY'S
NOT NO GOOD.Copy !req
347. NOT NO GOOD BECAUSE,
UH, I GOT A BAD CASE
OF THE ...Copy !req
348. UH... TERMITES
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.Copy !req
349. HA HA HA!Copy !req
350. TERMITES.Copy !req
351. WHAT A KIDDER.Copy !req
352. YEAH, RIGHT.Copy !req
353. HERE. HAVE YOUR
ASSISTANT COPY
THESE FIGURES,Copy !req
354. AND I'LL SEE YOU
AT 4:00, REGINALD.Copy !req
355. OH. ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
356. 4:00 IT IS THEN.Copy !req
357. HA!Copy !req
358. YES, MR. VAN BUREN.Copy !req
359. UH, YEAH, COULD YOU
PLEASE COME IN HERE,
WAKE ME UP?Copy !req
360. I'LL BE PASSED OUT
ON THE FLOOR.Copy !req
361. CERTAINLY, SIR.Copy !req
362. THANK YOU.Copy !req
363. OH, HEY,
MY FELLOW EMPLOYEE.Copy !req
364. HEY!
HOW YOU DOING?Copy !req
365. I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY.
CAN I FIX IT UP FOR YOU?
I'M SORRY.Copy !req
366. HEY, WHAT DO WE DO HERE?Copy !req
367. HEY, WOULD YOU
GET OFF OF ME?Copy !req
368. I'M—I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY. OH!Copy !req
369. HEY, MAN. DID YOU
FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS
THAT WE DO HERE?Copy !req
370. NO! THE PEOPLE HERE
ARE JUST—JUST RUDE!Copy !req
371. LOOK, I GOT TO GIVE
A SPEECH IN 2 HOURS,Copy !req
372. AND I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT WE DO.Copy !req
373. MAYBE WE'RE SHEPHERDS.Copy !req
374. YEAH. MM-HMM, MAYBE,
BUT PROBABLY NOT!Copy !req
375. LOOK, RUN THESE COPIES OFF.Copy !req
376. I GOT TO FIND SOMEBODY
TO TELL ME WHAT WE DO HERE.Copy !req
377. HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?Copy !req
378. REGINALD VAN BUREN,
NEW EXECUTIVE
VICE-PRESIDENT.Copy !req
379. HI.Copy !req
380. WAYNE CONNALLY,
SUPERVISING VICE-PRESIDENT.Copy !req
381. OH! WELL,
ISN'T THIS NICE?Copy !req
382. JUST 2 VICE-PRESIDENTS
KICKING BACKCopy !req
383. AND CHATTING ABOUT
WHAT IT IS THAT
THEY DO HERE.Copy !req
384. WHY DON'T
YOU GO FIRST?Copy !req
385. UH...Copy !req
386. I'M KIND OF BUSY.Copy !req
387. WH-WHOA! HEY!Copy !req
388. YOU KNOW WHAT
I LOVE TO DO?Copy !req
389. I LOVE TO TELL PEOPLE
WHAT OUR COMPANY DOESCopy !req
390. AND THEN GIVE THEM
A DETAILED DESCRIPTION
OF WHAT MY JOB IS.Copy !req
391. THAT'S NICE.Copy !req
392. NO, NO, NO, LOOK.Copy !req
393. UH, JUST FOR FUN,Copy !req
394. WHY DON'T YOU PRETEND
THAT YOU'RE ME,Copy !req
395. AND THEN TELL ME
WHAT THE COMPANY DOES,Copy !req
396. THEN GIVE ME
A DETAILED DESCRIPTION
OF WHAT YOUR JOB IS?Copy !req
397. LOOK, I'VE GOT WORK TO DO.Copy !req
398. B-B-BUT WHAT
KIND OF WORK?Copy !req
399. OH, MAN!Copy !req
400. KENAN, MAKE
THE COPY MACHINE
STOP!Copy !req
401. OH, NO! OH, NO!Copy !req
402. OH, NO! OH! OH!Copy !req
403. OH, MAN!
THIS IS HOPELESS!Copy !req
404. I MEAN, IF I KNEW WHAT
WE DID AT THE COMPANYCopy !req
405. AT LEAST I COULD
TRY TO FAKE MY WAY
THROUGH THE SPEECH.Copy !req
406. Kel, on intercom: KENAN!Copy !req
407. COME IN, KENAN!Copy !req
408. DO YOU COPY? KENAN!Copy !req
409. KEL, WOULD YOU
PLEASE STOP PLAYING
ON THE INTERCOM, MAN?Copy !req
410. WE'RE IN THE SAME ROOM!Copy !req
411. I'M SORRY, KENAN.Copy !req
412. HEY, KENAN, CAN I HAVE
NEXT WEDNESDAY OFF?Copy !req
413. HUH! LOOK, BOY...Copy !req
414. HEY! I'M TRYING
TO GET OUT OF GIVINGCopy !req
415. THAT SPEECH
IN 2 HOURS, MAN.Copy !req
416. WOULD YOU STOP
INTERRUPTING ME?Copy !req
417. OH! THAT'S IT!Copy !req
418. INTERRUPTING ME!Copy !req
419. KEL, ALL YOU GOT
TO DO IS WAIT OUTSIDE
THAT MEETINGCopy !req
420. UNTIL I GET UP
TO GIVE MY SPEECH,Copy !req
421. AND THEN YOU RUSH IN
TO INTERRUPT ME.Copy !req
422. THEN CAN I HAVE
NEXT WEDNESDAY OFF?Copy !req
423. WILL YOU FORGET
ABOUT THAT, MAN?Copy !req
424. YOU JUST GET IN THERE
BEFORE I GIVE MY SPEECHCopy !req
425. WELL, WHAT IF NOTHING
IMPORTANT COMES UP?Copy !req
426. WELL, MAKE IT UP.Copy !req
427. HA HA! NOBODY'D
EVER BELIEVE THAT!Copy !req
428. SEE, WHAT I DO IS,
I'LL COME IN AND I'LL SAY,Copy !req
429. "YOUR GRANDMOTHER
GOT EATEN BY LIONS!"Copy !req
430. KEEP WORKING ON IT,
ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
431. REGGIE, HOW ARE YOU?Copy !req
432. ARE YOU READY
FOR YOUR SPEECH?Copy !req
433. OH, YEAH!
I'M READY! YOU KNOW
WHAT I'M SAYING?Copy !req
434. I AM SO READY, BOY.
YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW I'M READY.Copy !req
435. BY THE WAY, I TOLD
THE PRESIDENT ABOUT YOU,Copy !req
436. AND HE'S GOING
TO STOP BY THE MEETING
JUST TO SAY HI.Copy !req
437. GREAT!Copy !req
438. OK, EVERYBODY.
I WANT YOU TO MEET
THE NEWEST TEAM MEMBER—Copy !req
439. REGINALD VAN BUREN.Copy !req
440. NOW, REGINALD IS GOING
TO SHARE WITH USCopy !req
441. SOME OF HIS IDEAS
THAT I AM CERTAINCopy !req
442. ARE GOING TO TAKE
THIS COMPANY RIGHT
STRAIGHT TO THE TOP.Copy !req
443. HA HA HA!Copy !req
444. REGINALD.Copy !req
445. AH.Copy !req
446. REGGIE, YOUR DADDY'S BEEN
ATTACKED BY CIRCUS CLOWNS!Copy !req
447. YEAH, THAT SOUNDS
PRETTY GOOD.Copy !req
448. OH.Copy !req
449. WELL,I GOT A COUPLE
OF SECONDS.Copy !req
450. HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!Copy !req
451. HA HA HA HA HA!Copy !req
452. KEL, MAN,
WHERE ARE YOU?Copy !req
453. REGINALD,
IS EVERYTHING OK?Copy !req
454. MATTER OF FACT,
I'LL JUST START
MY SPEECH NOW.Copy !req
455. OK? AHEM.Copy !req
456. AHEM.Copy !req
457. AHEM.Copy !req
458. AHH.Copy !req
459. OK.Copy !req
460. WHEW.Copy !req
461. PROFITS...Copy !req
462. REGINALD!Copy !req
463. I'M SORRY.Copy !req
464. I'M JUST
A LITTLE THIRSTY,
THAT'S ALL. AHEM!Copy !req
465. AHEM. MY NAME
IS REGINALD.Copy !req
466. UH... YEAH,
THAT'S WHAT IT IS.Copy !req
467. REGINALD IS MY NAME.Copy !req
468. IT STARTS WITH
AN "R" AND IT RHYMES
WITH FLEGINALD.Copy !req
469. YOU KNOW,
AND "RHYME" STARTS
WITH AN "R", TOO.Copy !req
470. HOW ABOUT THAT?
YOU—YOU CAN CALL ME
REGGIE,Copy !req
471. OR, UH... REG,
OR, UH... HANK.Copy !req
472. HA HA HA!Copy !req
473. WHOO!Copy !req
474. AH!Copy !req
475. OH, MY FOOT GOT CAUGHT
IN THE TRASH!Copy !req
476. GET OFF! GET OFF! GET OFF!Copy !req
477. OR YOU CAN CALL ME
M-M-MR. VAN BUREN,Copy !req
478. OR MY MOM USED
TO CALL ME BUBU,Copy !req
479. BUT THAT'S
NOT APPROPRIATE
FOR THE WORKPLACE.Copy !req
480. HA HA. OK, SO,
IF THERE ARE
NO MORE QUESTIONS,Copy !req
481. I'LL SEE YOU
GUYS TOMORROW.Copy !req
482. UH, BUBU...Copy !req
483. HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT CORPORATE
DOWNSIZING?Copy !req
484. UH, WELL, LET ME
GO TO MY NOTES.Copy !req
485. THAT YOU JUST
ASKED ABOUT WHATEVER
IT WAS YOU SAID,Copy !req
486. AND, UM, MY—
MY POSITION IS
THAT I'M...Copy !req
487. FOR IT?Copy !req
488. FOR IT?Copy !req
489. HOW CAN YOU SUPPORT
SOMETHING THAT INVOLVES
FIRING HUNDREDS OF WORKERS?Copy !req
490. WELL, I...
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?Copy !req
491. JOHNSON.Copy !req
492. JO-JOHNSON.
UM, YOU...Copy !req
493. YOU'RE FIRED.Copy !req
494. WHAT?Copy !req
495. YOU HEARD ME.
I SAID YOU'RE FIRED!Copy !req
496. YOU CAN'T FIRE HIM.Copy !req
497. OH, YEAH?Copy !req
498. WELL, MISTER...Copy !req
499. Y-YOU'RE FIRED, TOO.Copy !req
500. YEAH! HUH!
ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?Copy !req
501. OH, MAN. COME ON!Copy !req
502. OH! OH! OH! OH!Copy !req
503. WAIT A MINUTE,
WAIT A MINUTE.Copy !req
504. OH! OH!Copy !req
505. OHH! I-I'M SORRY!Copy !req
506. HA HA HA!Copy !req
507. OH, MY HAT! MY HAT!
OH, MY HAT!Copy !req
508. UH! UH! WHOO! OOH!Copy !req
509. HEY, AAH!Copy !req
510. OOH!Copy !req
511. OOH. UP!Copy !req
512. WHAT? DID SOMEBODY JUST—Copy !req
513. AAH!Copy !req
514. EXCUSE ME,
MR. VAN BUREN—Copy !req
515. NOW YOU'RE FIRED!Copy !req
516. THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!Copy !req
517. ME! THAT WHO!Copy !req
518. THAT MEANS I MAKE
THE DECISIONS 'CAUSE
I'M THE E.V.P.Copy !req
519. THAT'S RIGHT, E.V.P.Copy !req
520. THAT'S EVP.Copy !req
521. WHERE WAS I?Copy !req
522. YOU JUST FIRED BOB.Copy !req
523. YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU WERE PAYING
ATTENTION.Copy !req
524. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
YOU GOT THE JOB BACK.Copy !req
525. CONGRATULATIONS. THANKS.Copy !req
526. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!Copy !req
527. AH!Copy !req
528. OH! HELLO, EVERYBODY.Copy !req
529. I WOULD HAVE
BEEN HERE SOONER,Copy !req
530. BUT SOME IDIOT
DROPPED A WATER JUG
OFF THE BUILDING!Copy !req
531. SO, SWAIN, WHERE'S
THIS BRIGHT YOUNG MAN
YOU WERE TELLING ME ABOUT?Copy !req
532. UH... UH, THIS IS
THE PRESIDENT OF
DIM SUM ENTERPRISES—Copy !req
533. MR. MALONE.Copy !req
534. HEY, W-WHAT'S
HAPPENING THERE,
MR. MALONE?Copy !req
535. THANKS
FOR COMING BY.Copy !req
536. GO HOME NOW.
GET OUT OF HERE.Copy !req
537. WHAT ARE YOU
DOING OVER THERE?Copy !req
538. OH, NOTHING, MAN.
YOU KNOW,
I'M JUST TRYINGCopy !req
539. TO ADJUST
THE BLINDS HERE.
SEE WHAT'S GOING ON.Copy !req
540. WAS THERE SOMEONE
STANDING OUT ON THAT LEDGE?Copy !req
541. NO, MAN. I DIDN'T
SEE NOBODY, MAN.
YOU'RE TRIPPING.Copy !req
542. YOU'RE RIGHT,
MR. MALONE.
I SAW SOMEONE, TOO.Copy !req
543. HEY! WHERE DO
I RECOGNIZE
THAT GUY FROM?Copy !req
544. KENAN!Copy !req
545. HEY, WHAT'S UP,
MR. MALONE?
HOW'S IT GOING?Copy !req
546. UH, THIS IS
THE COMPANY
YOU OWN, HUH?Copy !req
547. WELL, THIS IS
VERY, VERY NICE.
VERY NICE!Copy !req
548. YOU SHOULD
BE VERY PROUD
OF YOURSELF!Copy !req
549. YOU REMEMBER
MY FRIEND KEL,
DON'T YOU?Copy !req
550. AAH-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H!Copy !req
551. UH, WELL, UH...Copy !req
552. AHEM.Copy !req
553. MEETING ADJOURNED!Copy !req