1. OH, HERE IT GOES.Copy !req
2. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
NICKELODEON AND THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
3. OH, THANK YOU!
THANK YOU SO MUCH.Copy !req
4. WOW. OW. STOP.
OH, THANK YOU.Copy !req
5. WELCOME TO THE KENAN
AND KEL SHOW.Copy !req
6. FOR THOSE OF Y'ALL
THAT DON'T KNOW,Copy !req
7. MY NAME IS KENAN!Copy !req
8. YES! YES!Copy !req
9. YES!Copy !req
10. AND FOR Y'ALL
THAT DON'T KNOW—Copy !req
11. THE CAPITAL OF TURKEY
IS ISTANBUL!Copy !req
12. KEL, NOBODY CARES
ABOUT TURKEY, MAN.Copy !req
13. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
INTRODUCING YOURSELF
TO THE PEOPLE.Copy !req
14. OH. I'M KEL!Copy !req
15. OH, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.Copy !req
16. AND, HEY, KENAN, DID YOU
KNOW THAT THE LARGEST LEMON
IS 77 POUNDS?Copy !req
17. NO. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
THAT'S GREAT.Copy !req
18. ANYWAY, TONIGHT'S
EPISODE IS FANTASTIC.Copy !req
19. OH, AND DID YOU KNOW
THAT A CAMEL'S HUMP
HAS WATER IN IT?Copy !req
20. DID YOU KNOW
THAT I DON'T CARE?Copy !req
21. WE'RE TRYING TO DO
AN EPISODE HERE.Copy !req
22. WHAT'S WITH
ALL THE FACTS?Copy !req
23. WELL, I GOT IT
OUT OF THIS BOOK.Copy !req
24. IT'S CALLED THE BIG BOOK
OF EVERYTHING!Copy !req
25. THE BIG BOOK
OF EVERYTHING?Copy !req
26. MM-HMM.Copy !req
27. YEAH, IT HAS EVERYTHING
IN IT. MM-HMM.Copy !req
28. REALLY?Copy !req
29. YEAH.Copy !req
30. DOES IT HAVE
MY FAVORITE COLOR
IN THERE?Copy !req
31. WELL, LET'S JUST SEE.Copy !req
32. OH, THERE IT IS!
RIGHT THERE.Copy !req
33. "KENAN'S FAVORITE
PLAID."Copy !req
34. HUH? WHAT? HOW
DID THE BOOK KNOW
MY FAVORITE COLOR?Copy !req
35. I TOLD YOU, IT'S
THE BIG BOOK OF EVERYTHING!Copy !req
36. OH, REALLY?Copy !req
37. WELL, DOES IT KNOW
WHAT TONIGHT'S EPISODE
GONNA BE ABOUT?Copy !req
38. LET'S SEE. MM-HMM.Copy !req
39. "TROUBLE ABOUNDS
WHEN KENAN AND KEL—"Copy !req
40. OH! NO, NO. YOU
DON'T NEED TO READ.Copy !req
41. NO, NO. DON'T NEED
TO READ THAT.Copy !req
42. YOU DON'T WANT TO
SPOIL THE SURPRISE
FOR THE AUDIENCE,
BROTHER.Copy !req
43. NOW, COME ON,
CRUNGIE. WE GOT
A SHOW TO DO.Copy !req
44. I DON'T KNOW WHY
I BE CALLING
YOU NAMES,
BUT YOU KNOW...Copy !req
45. UH, KENAN!Copy !req
46. KENAN, W-W-WHY DOES IT ALWAYS
HAVE TO BE A SURPRISE?Copy !req
47. KENAN!Copy !req
48. AWWWWWWW! HERE IT GOES!Copy !req
49. DID YOUR DAD EVER
TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIMECopy !req
50. HE HID A LIVE PIG
IN THE PRINCIPAL'S CAR?Copy !req
51. I DON'T THINK WE NEED
TO HEAR THAT STORY.Copy !req
52. NO, NO.Copy !req
53. HE WAS CRAZY BACK
IN THOSE DAYS.Copy !req
54. IN FACT, YOU KNOW WHAT
WE USED TO CALL HIM?Copy !req
55. FREDDY, THE TALKING
CAMEL BOY?Copy !req
56. NO. WE USED
TO CALL HIM CRAZY ROGER!Copy !req
57. I GET IT!
'CAUSE HE CRAZY AND
HE'S NAMED ROGER.Copy !req
58. HA HA HA! THAT'S
PRETTY CLEVER.Copy !req
59. YEAH, YEAH,
YEAH, YEAH.Copy !req
60. NOW, LET'S GET
BACK TO SOME MORE
EMBARRASSING STORIES
ABOUT MY DADDY.Copy !req
61. OH, KENAN, I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THAT, HONEY.
WE COULD BE HERE ALL NIGHT.Copy !req
62. HEY NOW!Copy !req
63. UH, MR. ROCKMORE,Copy !req
64. I MEAN, YOU
AND MR. MALONE WENT
TO THE SAME SCHOOL.Copy !req
65. I MEAN, WHY DID
HE BECOME MUCH
MORE SUCCESSFUL
THAN YOU DID?Copy !req
66. KEL!Copy !req
67. I MEAN,
COME ON, HE'S
A MULTI-MILLIONAIRECopy !req
68. WITH HIS OWN COMPANY
AND YOU'RE JUST...Copy !req
69. BALD.Copy !req
70. ALL RIGHT, SO SINCE
WE ON THE SUBJECT,Copy !req
71. HOW DID YOU
GET TO BE RICH?Copy !req
72. KENAN, DON'T BE SO RUDE.Copy !req
73. HOW DIDYOU GET
TO BE SO RICH?Copy !req
74. WELL, I STARTED
WORKING IN THE MAILROOM
OF A LARGE COMPANYCopy !req
75. WHEN I WAS JUST
ABOUT YOUR AGE, KENAN.Copy !req
76. 10 YEARS LATER,
I WAS RUNNING THE PLACE.Copy !req
77. AND DO YOU KNOW
HOW I DID IT?Copy !req
78. UH-UH.Copy !req
79. I KNOW!
YOU TRAINED A HYENA,Copy !req
80. THEN TO IMPRESS
YOUR BOSS,Copy !req
81. YOU TAUGHT HIM
HOW TO DO A LITTLE
HYENA DANCE.Copy !req
82. I BET IT
WENT LIKE THIS.Copy !req
83. ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
84. SO, UH, I BELIEVE
YOU WERE TELLING ME
HOW TO GET RICH.Copy !req
85. THAT'S RIGHT. 2 WORDS.Copy !req
86. HARD WORK.Copy !req
87. HEY.Copy !req
88. HARD WORK.
I LIKE THAT.Copy !req
89. YOU KNOW,
THAT'S WHY I GOT
AN AFTER-SCHOOL JOB.Copy !req
90. I LIKE WORKING HARD.
I AM NO STRANGER
TO HARD WORK.Copy !req
91. HA!Copy !req
92. WHEN WAS
THE LAST TIMECopy !req
93. YOUR BOSS
GAVE YOU A RAISE?Copy !req
94. WELL, UH...Copy !req
95. UH, NEVER.Copy !req
96. NEVER?Copy !req
97. WHY, THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS!Copy !req
98. YOU KNOW WHAT?Copy !req
99. YOU'RE RIGHT.Copy !req
100. WHY, FIRST THING
TOMORROW MORNING,Copy !req
101. I'M GOING TO MARCH MYSELF
RIGHT INTO CHRIS' OFFICECopy !req
102. AND I'M GOING TO SAY...Copy !req
103. CHRIS!Copy !req
104. I NEED A RAISE!Copy !req
105. ME, TOO.Copy !req
106. KEL, YOU CAN'T
GET A RAISE.Copy !req
107. OH—OH—OH, OK.
THAT'S HOW YOU'RE
GONNA TREAT ME, HUH?Copy !req
108. I GIVE THIS STORE
THE BEST YEARS
OF MY LIFE!Copy !req
109. AND THIS IS HOW
YOU REPAY ME!Copy !req
110. KEL, YOU DON'T
WORK HERE.Copy !req
111. OH, YEAH.Copy !req
112. SO, WHAT'S
YOUR ANSWER, CHRIS?Copy !req
113. I'M SORRY, KENAN.
I DON'T HAVE
THE MONEY TO GIVE
YOU A RAISE.Copy !req
114. BUT I THOUGHT—Copy !req
115. HEY, HEY, HEY, KENAN,
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH?Copy !req
116. HE SAID, "NO!"Copy !req
117. ALL RIGHT, FINE.Copy !req
118. BUT I GUESS
I JUST HAVE TO WORK
SOMEPLACE ELSE THEN.Copy !req
119. W-W-WHAT? WHAT?
WAIT A MINUTE.
HEY, HEY, HEY, KENAN.Copy !req
120. WAIT, WAIT. HEY, MAN,
YOU CAN'T QUIT.Copy !req
121. IF YOU QUIT, THEN
I CAN'T GET ANY MORE
FREE ORANGE SODA.Copy !req
122. KEL, RELAX, MAN.
I'M NOT REALLY GONNA QUIT.Copy !req
123. I JUST WANT CHRIS
TO THINK I'M QUITTING,
SO HE'LL GIVE ME THE RAISE.Copy !req
124. AHH!Copy !req
125. SO, UH...Copy !req
126. WHAT DO YOU SAY, MAN?Copy !req
127. DO I GET THE RAISE,
YES OR NO?Copy !req
128. NO.Copy !req
129. UH... WELL, FINE.Copy !req
130. WELL, I GUESS I JUST
HAVE TO QUIT THEN.Copy !req
131. SO, HERE I GO...Copy !req
132. QUITTING...Copy !req
133. ON MY WAY OUT
THE QUITTER'S DOOR...Copy !req
134. TO QUITSTOWN.Copy !req
135. KENAN, WAIT!Copy !req
136. I'M GONNA MISS YOU!Copy !req
137. OH, MAN! WHAT YOU
TALKING ABOUT?Copy !req
138. DON'T SPEAK.Copy !req
139. I HATE
LONG GOODBYES.Copy !req
140. JUST GO BEFORE
I GET ALL WEEPY.Copy !req
141. WEEPY? GO!Copy !req
142. ALL RIGHT, FINE.Copy !req
143. COME ON, KEL.Copy !req
144. MAN...Copy !req
145. NOW, I DON'T HAVE A JOB!Copy !req
146. MAN, HOW AM I SUPPOSED
TO GET RICH NOW?Copy !req
147. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?Copy !req
148. BAKE ME SOME COOKIES?Copy !req
149. NO, MAN!Copy !req
150. YOU KNOW WHAT
I SHOULD DO?Copy !req
151. BAKE ME SOME COOKIES?Copy !req
152. NO! IT'S TO GET A JOBCopy !req
153. IN THE MAILROOM
OF A COMPANY, LIKE
MR. MALONE DID!Copy !req
154. YEAH! THEN IN 10 YEARS,Copy !req
155. I COULD BE
A MILLIONAIRE, TOO!Copy !req
156. SHOOT! WHO NEEDS
DUMB OLD RIGBY'S?Copy !req
157. THERE'S GOT
TO BE A MAILROOM JOB
SOMEWHERE IN HERE.Copy !req
158. HELP ME!Copy !req
159. AH! HERE IT IS, KEL!Copy !req
160. "MAILROOM JOB OPENING."Copy !req
161. I FOUND IT! KEL, KEL.Copy !req
162. KEL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?Copy !req
163. I'M TRYING TO OPEN
THIS ORANGE SODA.Copy !req
164. HERE, MAN.Copy !req
165. NOW, COME ALONG, SLURPIE.
WE GOT SOME WORK TO DO.Copy !req
166. MMM.Copy !req
167. OH! OH! OH!Copy !req
168. UH!Copy !req
169. OH!Copy !req
170. OH, MAN.Copy !req
171. OK.Copy !req
172. HEY, KENAN,
WHAT YOU READING?Copy !req
173. NOTHING.
IT'S MY RESUME.Copy !req
174. YOU KNOW, WHERE
I WRITE DOWN
MY NAME AND ALL
MY WORK EXPERIENCE,Copy !req
175. SO THAT THEY'LL
BE ABLE TO TELL
THAT I'LL BE A GOOD
MAILROOM WORKER.Copy !req
176. OH, LET ME SEE.
"KENAN ROCKMORE.Copy !req
177. RIGBY'S GROCERY."Copy !req
178. AAH! HEY, THIS
IS VERY IMPRESSIVE.Copy !req
179. MAN, YOU GOT THIS JOB.
COME ON, NOW!Copy !req
180. HA HA HA! YEAH!Copy !req
181. YOU'RE RIGHT, FREDDY.Copy !req
182. KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
WHAT'S UP, DOG?Copy !req
183. GRR! HEY THERE!
HOW YOU DOING?Copy !req
184. YOU GOING OUT FOR
THE MAILROOM JOB, TOO?Copy !req
185. I DON'T THINK SO.Copy !req
186. I'LL BE INTERVIEWING
FOR THE EXECUTIVE
VICE-PRESIDENT POSITION.Copy !req
187. NOW,
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME.Copy !req
188. I HAVE
A PHONE CALL...Copy !req
189. ON MY CELL PHONE.Copy !req
190. YES?Copy !req
191. I'LL BE INTERVIEWINGCopy !req
192. FOR THE EXECUTIVE
VICE-PRESIDENT POSITIONCopy !req
193. BECAUSE I HAVE
A NICE BRIEFCASE
AND MY CELL PHONE.Copy !req
194. "MY CELL PHONE."Copy !req
195. OH, MAN.Copy !req
196. I'LL BET THIS GUY'S RESUME
ISN'T BETTER THAN YOURS.Copy !req
197. YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M SAYING, MAN.Copy !req
198. LET ME SEE.Copy !req
199. OH, WAIT, KEL.
DON'T GO INTO HIS—Copy !req
200. LET ME SEE.
UH-HUH, YEAH. A-HA!Copy !req
201. OH, COME ON.Copy !req
202. OH, HERE WE GO,
HERE WE GO.Copy !req
203. "REGINALD VAN BUREN."Copy !req
204. HA HA!Copy !req
205. AH, WAIT A MINUTE.Copy !req
206. "HARVARD...
BUSINESS SCHOOL?"Copy !req
207. OH! WAIT,
I WAS WRONG, KENAN.
HE IS BETTER THAN YOU.Copy !req
208. OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL.
NOW, PUT THE MAN'S STUFFCopy !req
209. BACK IN HIS BRIEFCASE
BEFORE HE'S COMING—Copy !req
210. OH, MAN! I KNEW IT!
HE'S COMING!Copy !req
211. WHAT DID YOU SAY?Copy !req
212. THE MAN!
HE'S COMING!
THROW THAT IN HERE.Copy !req
213. LET'S CLOSE IT,
LET'S CLOSE IT,Copy !req
214. LET'S CLOSE IT,
LET'S CLOSE IT.Copy !req
215. NEXT?Copy !req
216. OH. THAT—THAT'S ME.Copy !req
217. KEL, I NEED MY RESUME, MAN.Copy !req
218. OH, THERE YOU GO.Copy !req
219. HEY,
HOW'S IT GOING?Copy !req
220. HOO!Copy !req
221. "KENAN ROCKMORE?"Copy !req
222. THAT'S STRANGE.Copy !req
223. HUH!Copy !req
224. HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.Copy !req
225. I KNOW WHAT'S
GOING ON HERE.Copy !req
226. YOUR NAME'S
KENAN ROCKMORE, TOO, HUH?Copy !req
227. DEFINITELY NOT!Copy !req
228. HA! OH.Copy !req
229. UH-OH!Copy !req
230. THIS IS A VERY
IMPRESSIVE RESUME,Copy !req
231. AND—AND YOU SEEM
SO YOUNG TO HAVE
SO MUCH EXPERIENCE.Copy !req
232. WELL, MY BOYISH
GOOD LOOKS MAKE ME LOOKCopy !req
233. A LITTLE YOUNGER
THAN I AM.Copy !req
234. YOU KNOW, LIKE 161/2.Copy !req
235. AND—AND—AND
YOU HAVE EXPERIENCE
IN THE STOCK MARKET.Copy !req
236. WELL... WELL, YEAH.Copy !req
237. YOU KNOW,
AT THE MARKET
I WORKED AT,
I DID STOCK STUFF.Copy !req
238. HA HA HA.Copy !req
239. HA HA HA.Copy !req
240. AND YOU HAVE
A SENSE OF HUMOR, TOO.Copy !req
241. WELL, YOU KNOW...Copy !req
242. YOU KNOW,
YOU ARE EXACTLYCopy !req
243. WHAT WE'RE LOOKING
FOR IN AN EXECUTIVE
VICE-PRESIDENT.Copy !req
244. EXECUTIVE VICE-PRESIDENT?Copy !req
245. YES.Copy !req
246. UH, WELL, UM...
CAN I SEE THAT RESUME
FOR A SECOND?Copy !req
247. YES, BY ALL MEANS. UH, THANKS.Copy !req
248. IS THERE SOME
PROBLEM, REGINALD?Copy !req
249. OH, NO, NO, NO.
WELL, ACTUALLY,Copy !req
250. I THINK THERE'S BEEN
A LITTLE MISTAKE.
YOU SEE, MY NAME IS—Copy !req
251. UH, DID SOMEBODY ELSE
MAKE YOU ANOTHER OFFER?Copy !req
252. WE'LL TOP IT.Copy !req
253. HOW DOES $100,000
A YEAR SOUND?Copy !req
254. OH, NO.Copy !req
255. WHAT?Copy !req
256. UH, UH, I'M SORRY.
I USUALLY DON'T FAINT
IN MEETINGS.Copy !req
257. OH! LOOK WHAT I DID!
I'M SORRY.Copy !req
258. I DIDN'T MEAN
TO SPILL YOUR BEVERAGE.Copy !req
259. OH, UM... $100,000.Copy !req
260. YES.Copy !req
261. WELL, U.S. DOLLARS.Copy !req
262. YES.Copy !req
263. 100,000 OF THOSE AND,
UH, THAT'S FINE WITH ME,Copy !req
264. YOU KNOW,
'CAUSE I'M REGINALD...Copy !req
265. "VAN BUREN."Copy !req
266. YOU KNOW, THAT'S MY NAME.Copy !req
267. PSST!Copy !req
268. Kenan!Copy !req
269. Reginald.Copy !req
270. No, no, no, see.
It's me—Kel.Copy !req
271. I need to talk
to you, Kenan.Copy !req
272. HEH HEH HEH.Copy !req
273. Call me,
Reginald, man.Copy !req
274. UHH!Copy !req
275. IS THERE—IS THERE
SOME PROBLEM?Copy !req
276. OH, NO, NO.
NO PROBLEM.Copy !req
277. SEE, I'LL EXPLAIN
EVERYTHING.Copy !req
278. UH-HUH.Copy !req
279. SEE, WE WERE OUT THERE
AND WHAT HAPPENED WAS—Copy !req
280. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
SEE, THIS IS, UH,
MY PERSONAL ASSISTANT.Copy !req
281. UH-HUH.Copy !req
282. I AM?
YES.Copy !req
283. YOU KNOW,
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I WOULD
DO WITHOUT HIM.Copy !req
284. OK, REGINALD.
YOU DRIVE
A HARD BARGAIN.Copy !req
285. YOU'RE HIRED, TOO.Copy !req
286. HUH? WHAT?
I'M HIRED, TOO?Copy !req
287. I'M HIRED, TOO.
OH, MAN. AH, THIS IS GREAT.Copy !req
288. AH, YOU WON'T
REGRET THIS, BUDDY.Copy !req
289. UH, UH, KEL! KEL,
GET OFF THE NICE MAN.Copy !req
290. OH, I'M SORRY,
I'M SORRY.Copy !req
291. WELL, UH...Copy !req
292. WELCOME ABOARD,
GENTLEMEN.Copy !req
293. UH!Copy !req
294. All right.Copy !req
295. WOW!Copy !req
296. KEL, DID YOU HEAR THAT?I KNOW!Copy !req
297. WE GOT JOBS!Copy !req
298. YEAH!Copy !req
299. WHOO! I'M AN EXECUTIVE
VICE-PRESIDENT.Copy !req
300. AND I AM
YOUR ASSISTANT.Copy !req
301. WHOO-WEE!Copy !req
302. YEAH, UH-HUH.Copy !req
303. JUST ONE THING.Copy !req
304. WHAT DO WE DO HERE?Copy !req
305. I HAVE NO IDEA.Copy !req
306. HEY, KENAN,
SORRY I'M LATE.Copy !req
307. KEL! WHAT ARE
YOU WEARING?Copy !req
308. HEY, WELL, YOU TOLD ME
TO WEAR A SUIT.Copy !req
309. WELL... I WOULD...
TRY TO...Copy !req
310. AH, FAIR ENOUGH.Copy !req
311. HEY, CHECK THIS OUT.Copy !req
312. YES, MR. VAN BUREN?Copy !req
313. UH, YES, COULD YOU
BRING ME A BOTTLE
OF ORANGE SODA,
PLEASE?Copy !req
314. RIGHT AWAY, SIR.Copy !req
315. HA HA HA!Copy !req
316. HEE!Copy !req
317. AH HA HA HA!Copy !req
318. ORANGE SODA! OH, MAN!Copy !req
319. OH, MAN, YOU GET
FREE ORANGE SODA.
THIS IS GREAT.Copy !req
320. MMM!Copy !req
321. MMM!Copy !req
322. MMM!Copy !req
323. KENAN, I CAN'T
BELIEVE YOU GET
FREE ORANGE SODA, MAN!Copy !req
324. COME ON, YOU GOT
TO DO IT AGAIN.Copy !req
325. DO IT AGAIN, KENAN.
DO IT AGAIN.Copy !req
326. LISTEN, LISTEN.
YOU GOT TO STOP
CALLING ME KENAN.Copy !req
327. AROUND HERE YOU GOT
TO CALL ME REGINALD.Copy !req
328. OH, OK. I'LL CALL
YOU REGINALD.Copy !req
329. HEY, KENAN,
DID YOU EVER FIND OUTCopy !req
330. WHAT THE EXECUTIVE
VICE-PRESIDENT DOES?Copy !req
331. NO.
AND MATTER OF FACT,Copy !req
332. I DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHAT THIS
COMPANY DOES, MAN.Copy !req
333. I MEAN, THEY GOT TO MAKE
OR SELL SOMETHING.Copy !req
334. YEAH.Copy !req
335. I GOT IT.Copy !req
336. MAYBE THEY SELL...Copy !req
337. DIRT.Copy !req
338. YEAH!Copy !req
339. 'CAUSE EVERYBODY
LIKES TO BUY DIRT.Copy !req
340. YEAH.
YEAH.Copy !req
341. YEAH, THAT—
LOOK...Copy !req
342. MAN,
JUST FIND OUT WHAT
THE COMPANY DOES.Copy !req
343. I MEAN, ASK AROUND,
BUT DON'T LET NOBODY KNOW
THAT WE DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
344. ALL RIGHT.
I GOT YOU, KENAN.Copy !req
345. REGINALD.Copy !req
346. OH, I'M SORRY.
BIG REGGIE.Copy !req
347. OH, HEY, HEY.
I'M AN ASSISTANT. HA HA HA!Copy !req
348. REGINALD, HOW'S
THE FIRST DAY GOING?Copy !req
349. HEY. OH, GREAT.Copy !req
350. YOU KNOW,
I'M JUST EAGERCopy !req
351. TO JUMP RIGHT IN AND
START WORKING HARD.Copy !req
352. WELL, I'M GLAD
TO HEAR IT, BECAUSE
LATER TODAY WE'RE HAVING
A LITTLE MEETING,Copy !req
353. AND I WANT YOU
TO GIVE A SPEECH.Copy !req
354. YOU KNOW,
OUTLINING YOUR PLANS,
GOALS FOR THE COMPANY.Copy !req
355. TODAY? TODAY?Copy !req
356. UM... NO.Copy !req
357. UH, I—TODAY'S
NOT NO GOOD.Copy !req
358. NOT NO GOOD BECAUSE,
UH, I GOT A BAD CASE
OF THE ...Copy !req
359. UH... TERMITES
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.Copy !req
360. HA HA HA!Copy !req
361. TERMITES.Copy !req
362. WHAT A KIDDER.Copy !req
363. YEAH, RIGHT.Copy !req
364. HERE. HAVE YOUR
ASSISTANT COPY
THESE FIGURES,Copy !req
365. AND I'LL SEE YOU
AT 4:00, REGINALD.Copy !req
366. OH. ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
367. 4:00 IT IS THEN.Copy !req
368. HA!Copy !req
369. YES, MR. VAN BUREN.Copy !req
370. UH, YEAH, COULD YOU
PLEASE COME IN HERE,
WAKE ME UP?Copy !req
371. I'LL BE PASSED OUT
ON THE FLOOR.Copy !req
372. CERTAINLY, SIR.Copy !req
373. THANK YOU.Copy !req
374. OH, HEY,
MY FELLOW EMPLOYEE.Copy !req
375. HEY!
HOW YOU DOING?Copy !req
376. I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY.
CAN I FIX IT UP FOR YOU?
I'M SORRY.Copy !req
377. HEY, WHAT DO WE DO HERE?Copy !req
378. HEY, WOULD YOU
GET OFF OF ME?Copy !req
379. I'M—I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY. OH!Copy !req
380. HEY, MAN. DID YOU
FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS
THAT WE DO HERE?Copy !req
381. NO! THE PEOPLE HERE
ARE JUST—JUST RUDE!Copy !req
382. LOOK, I GOT TO GIVE
A SPEECH IN 2 HOURS,Copy !req
383. AND I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT WE DO.Copy !req
384. MAYBE WE'RE SHEPHERDS.Copy !req
385. YEAH. MM-HMM, MAYBE,
BUT PROBABLY NOT!Copy !req
386. LOOK, RUN THESE COPIES OFF.Copy !req
387. I GOT TO FIND SOMEBODY
TO TELL ME WHAT WE DO HERE.Copy !req
388. HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?Copy !req
389. REGINALD VAN BUREN,
NEW EXECUTIVE
VICE-PRESIDENT.Copy !req
390. HI.Copy !req
391. WAYNE CONNALLY,
SUPERVISING VICE-PRESIDENT.Copy !req
392. OH! WELL,
ISN'T THIS NICE?Copy !req
393. JUST 2 VICE-PRESIDENTS
KICKING BACKCopy !req
394. AND CHATTING ABOUT
WHAT IT IS THAT
THEY DO HERE.Copy !req
395. WHY DON'T
YOU GO FIRST?Copy !req
396. UH...Copy !req
397. I'M KIND OF BUSY.Copy !req
398. WH-WHOA! HEY!Copy !req
399. YOU KNOW WHAT
I LOVE TO DO?Copy !req
400. I LOVE TO TELL PEOPLE
WHAT OUR COMPANY DOESCopy !req
401. AND THEN GIVE THEM
A DETAILED DESCRIPTION
OF WHAT MY JOB IS.Copy !req
402. THAT'S NICE.Copy !req
403. NO, NO, NO, LOOK.Copy !req
404. UH, JUST FOR FUN,Copy !req
405. WHY DON'T YOU PRETEND
THAT YOU'RE ME,Copy !req
406. AND THEN TELL ME
WHAT THE COMPANY DOES,Copy !req
407. THEN GIVE ME
A DETAILED DESCRIPTION
OF WHAT YOUR JOB IS?Copy !req
408. LOOK, I'VE GOT WORK TO DO.Copy !req
409. B-B-BUT WHAT
KIND OF WORK?Copy !req
410. OH, MAN!Copy !req
411. KENAN, MAKE
THE COPY MACHINE
STOP!Copy !req
412. OH, NO! OH, NO!Copy !req
413. OH, NO! OH! OH!Copy !req
414. OH, MAN!
THIS IS HOPELESS!Copy !req
415. I MEAN, IF I KNEW WHAT
WE DID AT THE COMPANYCopy !req
416. AT LEAST I COULD
TRY TO FAKE MY WAY
THROUGH THE SPEECH.Copy !req
417. Kel, on intercom: KENAN!Copy !req
418. COME IN, KENAN!Copy !req
419. DO YOU COPY? KENAN!Copy !req
420. KEL, WOULD YOU
PLEASE STOP PLAYING
ON THE INTERCOM, MAN?Copy !req
421. WE'RE IN THE SAME ROOM!Copy !req
422. I'M SORRY, KENAN.Copy !req
423. HEY, KENAN, CAN I HAVE
NEXT WEDNESDAY OFF?Copy !req
424. HUH! LOOK, BOY...Copy !req
425. HEY! I'M TRYING
TO GET OUT OF GIVINGCopy !req
426. THAT SPEECH
IN 2 HOURS, MAN.Copy !req
427. WOULD YOU STOP
INTERRUPTING ME?Copy !req
428. OH! THAT'S IT!Copy !req
429. INTERRUPTING ME!Copy !req
430. KEL, ALL YOU GOT
TO DO IS WAIT OUTSIDE
THAT MEETINGCopy !req
431. UNTIL I GET UP
TO GIVE MY SPEECH,Copy !req
432. AND THEN YOU RUSH IN
TO INTERRUPT ME.Copy !req
433. THEN CAN I HAVE
NEXT WEDNESDAY OFF?Copy !req
434. WILL YOU FORGET
ABOUT THAT, MAN?Copy !req
435. YOU JUST GET IN THERE
BEFORE I GIVE MY SPEECHCopy !req
436. AND SAY THAT
SOMETHING IMPORTANT
HAS COME UP AND WE GOT
TO LEAVE RIGHT AWAY.Copy !req
437. WELL, WHAT IF NOTHING
IMPORTANT COMES UP?Copy !req
438. WELL, MAKE IT UP.Copy !req
439. YOU KNOW,
LIKE I GOT AN
EMERGENCY PHONE CALL
OR SOMETHING.Copy !req
440. HA HA! NOBODY'D
EVER BELIEVE THAT!Copy !req
441. SEE, WHAT I DO IS,
I'LL COME IN AND I'LL SAY,Copy !req
442. "YOUR GRANDMOTHER
GOT EATEN BY LIONS!"Copy !req
443. KEEP WORKING ON IT,
ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
444. REGGIE, HOW ARE YOU?Copy !req
445. ARE YOU READY
FOR YOUR SPEECH?Copy !req
446. OH, YEAH!
I'M READY! YOU KNOW
WHAT I'M SAYING?Copy !req
447. I AM SO READY, BOY.
YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW I'M READY.Copy !req
448. BY THE WAY, I TOLD
THE PRESIDENT ABOUT YOU,Copy !req
449. AND HE'S GOING
TO STOP BY THE MEETING
JUST TO SAY HI.Copy !req
450. GREAT!Copy !req
451. OK, EVERYBODY.
I WANT YOU TO MEET
THE NEWEST TEAM MEMBER—Copy !req
452. REGINALD VAN BUREN.Copy !req
453. NOW, REGINALD IS GOING
TO SHARE WITH USCopy !req
454. SOME OF HIS IDEAS
THAT I AM CERTAINCopy !req
455. ARE GOING TO TAKE
THIS COMPANY RIGHT
STRAIGHT TO THE TOP.Copy !req
456. HA HA HA!Copy !req
457. REGINALD.Copy !req
458. AH.Copy !req
459. REGGIE, YOUR DADDY'S BEEN
ATTACKED BY CIRCUS CLOWNS!Copy !req
460. YEAH, THAT SOUNDS
PRETTY GOOD.Copy !req
461. OH.Copy !req
462. WELL,I GOT A COUPLE
OF SECONDS.Copy !req
463. HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!Copy !req
464. HA HA HA HA HA!Copy !req
465. KEL, MAN,
WHERE ARE YOU?Copy !req
466. REGINALD,
IS EVERYTHING OK?Copy !req
467. OH. OH, YEAH.
EVERYTHING'S FINE.
EVERYTHING IS JUST
WONDERFUL.Copy !req
468. MATTER OF FACT,
I'LL JUST START
MY SPEECH NOW.Copy !req
469. OK? AHEM.Copy !req
470. AHEM.Copy !req
471. AHEM.Copy !req
472. AHH.Copy !req
473. OK.Copy !req
474. WHEW.Copy !req
475. PROFITS...Copy !req
476. REGINALD!Copy !req
477. I'M SORRY.Copy !req
478. I'M JUST
A LITTLE THIRSTY,
THAT'S ALL. AHEM!Copy !req
479. AHEM. MY NAME
IS REGINALD.Copy !req
480. UH... YEAH,
THAT'S WHAT IT IS.Copy !req
481. REGINALD IS MY NAME.Copy !req
482. IT STARTS WITH
AN "R" AND IT RHYMES
WITH FLEGINALD.Copy !req
483. YOU KNOW,
AND "RHYME" STARTS
WITH AN "R", TOO.Copy !req
484. HOW ABOUT THAT?
YOU—YOU CAN CALL ME
REGGIE,Copy !req
485. OR, UH... REG,
OR, UH... HANK.Copy !req
486. HA HA HA!Copy !req
487. WHOO!Copy !req
488. AH!Copy !req
489. OH, MY FOOT GOT CAUGHT
IN THE TRASH!Copy !req
490. GET OFF! GET OFF! GET OFF!Copy !req
491. OR YOU CAN CALL ME
M-M-MR. VAN BUREN,Copy !req
492. OR MY MOM USED
TO CALL ME BUBU,Copy !req
493. BUT THAT'S
NOT APPROPRIATE
FOR THE WORKPLACE.Copy !req
494. HA HA. OK, SO,
IF THERE ARE
NO MORE QUESTIONS,Copy !req
495. I'LL SEE YOU
GUYS TOMORROW.Copy !req
496. UH, BUBU...Copy !req
497. HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT CORPORATE
DOWNSIZING?Copy !req
498. UH, WELL, LET ME
GO TO MY NOTES.Copy !req
499. ALL RIGHT.
LET ME SEE NOW.
YOU KNOW, THAT'S
A VERY GOOD QUESTIONCopy !req
500. THAT YOU JUST
ASKED ABOUT WHATEVER
IT WAS YOU SAID,Copy !req
501. AND, UM, MY—
MY POSITION IS
THAT I'M...Copy !req
502. FOR IT?Copy !req
503. FOR IT?Copy !req
504. HOW CAN YOU SUPPORT
SOMETHING THAT INVOLVES
FIRING HUNDREDS OF WORKERS?Copy !req
505. WELL, I...
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?Copy !req
506. JOHNSON.Copy !req
507. JO-JOHNSON.
UM, YOU...Copy !req
508. YOU'RE FIRED.Copy !req
509. WHAT?Copy !req
510. YOU HEARD ME.
I SAID YOU'RE FIRED!Copy !req
511. YOU CAN'T FIRE HIM.Copy !req
512. OH, YEAH?Copy !req
513. WELL, MISTER...Copy !req
514. Y-YOU'RE FIRED, TOO.Copy !req
515. YEAH! HUH!
ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?Copy !req
516. OH, MAN. COME ON!Copy !req
517. OH! OH! OH! OH!Copy !req
518. WAIT A MINUTE,
WAIT A MINUTE.Copy !req
519. OH! OH!Copy !req
520. OHH! I-I'M SORRY!Copy !req
521. HA HA HA!Copy !req
522. OH, MY HAT! MY HAT!
OH, MY HAT!Copy !req
523. UH! UH! WHOO! OOH!Copy !req
524. HEY, AAH!Copy !req
525. OOH!Copy !req
526. OOH. UP!Copy !req
527. WHAT? DID SOMEBODY JUST—Copy !req
528. AAH!Copy !req
529. EXCUSE ME,
MR. VAN BUREN—Copy !req
530. NOW YOU'RE FIRED!Copy !req
531. THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!Copy !req
532. W-WELL, WHO'S
THE EXECUTIVE
VICE-PRESIDENT
AROUND HERE, HUH?Copy !req
533. ME! THAT WHO!Copy !req
534. THAT MEANS I MAKE
THE DECISIONS 'CAUSE
I'M THE E.V.P.Copy !req
535. THAT'S RIGHT, E.V.P.Copy !req
536. THAT'S EVP.Copy !req
537. WHERE WAS I?Copy !req
538. YOU JUST FIRED BOB.Copy !req
539. YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU WERE PAYING
ATTENTION.Copy !req
540. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
YOU GOT THE JOB BACK.Copy !req
541. CONGRATULATIONS. THANKS.Copy !req
542. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!Copy !req
543. AH!Copy !req
544. OH! HELLO, EVERYBODY.Copy !req
545. I WOULD HAVE
BEEN HERE SOONER,Copy !req
546. BUT SOME IDIOT
DROPPED A WATER JUG
OFF THE BUILDING!Copy !req
547. SO, SWAIN, WHERE'S
THIS BRIGHT YOUNG MAN
YOU WERE TELLING ME ABOUT?Copy !req
548. UH... UH, THIS IS
THE PRESIDENT OF
DIM SUM ENTERPRISES—Copy !req
549. MR. MALONE.Copy !req
550. HEY, W-WHAT'S
HAPPENING THERE,
MR. MALONE?Copy !req
551. THANKS
FOR COMING BY.Copy !req
552. GO HOME NOW.
GET OUT OF HERE.Copy !req
553. WHAT ARE YOU
DOING OVER THERE?Copy !req
554. OH, NOTHING, MAN.
YOU KNOW,
I'M JUST TRYINGCopy !req
555. TO ADJUST
THE BLINDS HERE.
SEE WHAT'S GOING ON.Copy !req
556. WAS THERE SOMEONE
STANDING OUT ON THAT LEDGE?Copy !req
557. NO, MAN. I DIDN'T
SEE NOBODY, MAN.
YOU'RE TRIPPING.Copy !req
558. YOU'RE RIGHT,
MR. MALONE.
I SAW SOMEONE, TOO.Copy !req
559. HEY! WHERE DO
I RECOGNIZE
THAT GUY FROM?Copy !req
560. KENAN!Copy !req
561. HEY, WHAT'S UP,
MR. MALONE?
HOW'S IT GOING?Copy !req
562. UH, THIS IS
THE COMPANY
YOU OWN, HUH?Copy !req
563. WELL, THIS IS
VERY, VERY NICE.
VERY NICE!Copy !req
564. YOU SHOULD
BE VERY PROUD
OF YOURSELF!Copy !req
565. YOU REMEMBER
MY FRIEND KEL,
DON'T YOU?Copy !req
566. AAH-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H!Copy !req
567. UH, WELL, UH...Copy !req
568. AHEM.Copy !req
569. MEETING ADJOURNED!Copy !req