1. Oh, here it goes.Copy !req
2. Captioning made possible by
nickelodeon
and u.S. Department of educationCopy !req
3. Thank you.Copy !req
4. Thanks so much.Copy !req
5. Ow, wow.Copy !req
6. Thanks
for coming out.Copy !req
7. I go by the name
of kenan.Copy !req
8. And i'd like to be
referred to as kel.Copy !req
9. We'd like to welcome
you all to the show.Copy !req
10. Oh, you all look
so pretty.Copy !req
11. Yeah, yeah. And i'd like
to give a special shout-out
to my homeboy...Copy !req
12. Kenan!Copy !req
13. Kel, i'm standing
right here, man.Copy !req
14. There's no need
for any shouting out.Copy !req
15. Oh, my.Copy !req
16. Check it out.Copy !req
17. What's that, kel?Copy !req
18. A remote control.Copy !req
19. Don't play with it
out here.Copy !req
20. Wait. Don't push
the button!Copy !req
21. Change the channel.
Get us back.Copy !req
22. Oh, oh, o.K. Hold on.
I forgot the channel.Copy !req
23. No, that's not us.Copy !req
24. I don't know
what i'm doing.Copy !req
25. Wait a minute.
I'm gonna fix this thing.Copy !req
26. That's not it either.Copy !req
27. Oh, wait, wait.Copy !req
28. No, that's not—
give this, man.Copy !req
29. See if i can
handle this.Copy !req
30. Hey! There we are, man!
I love this show, man.Copy !req
31. Whoo! It's time
for kenan & kel.Copy !req
32. Oh, o.K. Can i have
my remote back?Copy !req
33. No. But since
you're interested
in electronics so much,Copy !req
34. I think you'll
find tonight's show
particularly dazzling.Copy !req
35. Come on, skippy. Oh!Copy !req
36. Kenan! I—i don't wanna
be dazzled.Copy !req
37. Kenan! C-can't we just watch
the baby elephants?Copy !req
38. Kenan! Kenan!Copy !req
39. Aw, here it goes!Copy !req
40. Kenan, what are
you doing?Copy !req
41. I'm pricing these grapes.Copy !req
42. You're not supposed
to put a price tag
on each grape!Copy !req
43. We sell them
by the bunch.Copy !req
44. Nobody buys
individual grapes.Copy !req
45. Excuse me.Copy !req
46. Do you sell
individual grapes?Copy !req
47. Why, yes, we do.Copy !req
48. Great! I'll take 3.Copy !req
49. Do you have change
for a nickel?Copy !req
50. Just keep it.Copy !req
51. Gee! Thanks!Copy !req
52. Hey, kenan!
Hey, chris!Copy !req
53. Hey, orange soda!Copy !req
54. Hey, kel, are you planning
to pay for that?Copy !req
55. Oh, i wasn't
planning on it,Copy !req
56. But let me see
what i can do.
Uh-huh. Naw.Copy !req
57. Uh-uh. No.Copy !req
58. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
How about next tuesday?Copy !req
59. O.K.?Copy !req
60. Hey, chris. What's with
that poster, man?Copy !req
61. Oh, hey, check this out!Copy !req
62. We are gonna have a raffle!Copy !req
63. Ooh! I love raffles,Copy !req
64. Especially with
a lot of maple syrup
and butter.Copy !req
65. Kel, that's a waffle.
Chris is talking
about a raffle.Copy !req
66. Oh, a raffle!Copy !req
67. Yes. A raffle's where
people buy ticketsCopy !req
68. For the chance
to win a prize.Copy !req
69. We are giving away
a brand-new television set!Copy !req
70. Chris, where are we gonna get
a brand-new television set?Copy !req
71. I've already ordered it...
On the telephone.Copy !req
72. It cost me $242.Copy !req
73. I see. So anything
that you make over $242
is cash in your pocket.Copy !req
74. Cha-ching!
Cha-ching!Copy !req
75. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!Copy !req
76. How about a raffle
to win a waffle?Copy !req
77. Cha-ching!Copy !req
78. And, kenan, i was thinking
that you could sell ticketsCopy !req
79. At school and around
the neighborhood.Copy !req
80. Wow, that's great!Copy !req
81. You know, i've been
trying to think of waysCopy !req
82. I could do some
extra work for free.Copy !req
83. I also thought that
i would pay you 10 centsCopy !req
84. For every raffle ticket
you sell.Copy !req
85. Oh, now you're talking.
Please?Copy !req
86. Wait! Kenan,
i meant after work!
You can't just lea...Copy !req
87. Oh, he's gone.Copy !req
88. Ooh whee! I can't
believe we gotCopy !req
89. This great
new television
for $800!Copy !req
90. 40-inch screen,
super-quadraphonic
speakers,Copy !req
91. Subtitles in spanish
and pig latin!Copy !req
92. This is the happiest day
of my life!Copy !req
93. What about
our wedding day?Copy !req
94. Well, that's up there.Copy !req
95. Man, i can't believe
you sold 40 tickets
in one day.Copy !req
96. I know. You all
wanna buy...Copy !req
97. Ooh, tv!Copy !req
98. A tv!Copy !req
99. Wait! Back away
from the set!Copy !req
100. Back... Away...
From the set!Copy !req
101. Sorry.Copy !req
102. Now, let's go
over a few rulesCopy !req
103. About the television.Copy !req
104. No touching,
sniffing, licking,Copy !req
105. Watching, or listening
to the set.Copy !req
106. Can we cover it
with paint?Copy !req
107. No.Copy !req
108. Just turn it on,
roger.Copy !req
109. O.K.Copy !req
110. Everyone,
prepare yourselfCopy !req
111. For the ultimate...Copy !req
112. In television
viewing experience.Copy !req
113. Drum roll,
please.Copy !req
114. Not on the set!
Not on the set!Copy !req
115. Not on the set.
No, no!Copy !req
116. Well, we don't have
a drum.Copy !req
117. Everyone... I give youCopy !req
118. The amani
double vision 2000.Copy !req
119. Dah!Copy !req
120. Oh!Copy !req
121. Ow!Copy !req
122. Aaaagggghhhhh!Copy !req
123. Yeah! Turn it up!Copy !req
124. Turn it up!Copy !req
125. Stop! Turn it off!Copy !req
126. I can't go on like this.Copy !req
127. Oh, why?Copy !req
128. Because we're from
2 different sides
of the garden.Copy !req
129. Hey, man, listen.
You're cabbage.
It'll never work.Copy !req
130. Well, if i can't
have you, then
no one will.Copy !req
131. Kenan, customer!Copy !req
132. Hey! Hey!Copy !req
133. So how'd it go, man?Copy !req
134. I sold one ticket.Copy !req
135. Wait. You mean you've
been gone for 2 hoursCopy !req
136. And you only made $1.00?Copy !req
137. Well, no, not exactly.Copy !req
138. Elaborate.Copy !req
139. Tell me what happened.Copy !req
140. Oh, oh! See, this clown wanted
to buy a raffle ticket,Copy !req
141. But, see, he didn't have
any money.Copy !req
142. So i traded him
the raffle ticket
for a balloon.Copy !req
143. It's an orange balloon.Copy !req
144. Isn't it handsome?Copy !req
145. Yeehaw!Copy !req
146. Can i have the rest
of my tickets back,
please?Copy !req
147. Oh, all right.
Let me see...Copy !req
148. Aaaagggghhhhhh! My balloon!Copy !req
149. My balloon!Copy !req
150. oh, my balloon!Copy !req
151. Oh, quick! Call
the fire department!Copy !req
152. Delivery for a chris potter?Copy !req
153. I'll sign for it
'cause chris
isn't here.Copy !req
154. Hey, you wanna buy
a raffle ticket?Copy !req
155. Oh, i—i'm not much
of a breakfast person.Copy !req
156. No, no.
A raffle, man,
not a waffle.Copy !req
157. Oh! How much are they?Copy !req
158. Well, they're
a buck apiece,
you know,Copy !req
159. And it's well
worth it.Copy !req
160. We're giving away
that nice tv
right there.Copy !req
161. It's worth more
than 242 bucks!Copy !req
162. Got it!Copy !req
163. I think i'll pass.Copy !req
164. Uh... Uh... Um...Copy !req
165. Look, kenan, i got
my balloon back.Copy !req
166. Well, if chris
was raffling offCopy !req
167. A trampoline
in the first place,Copy !req
168. We wouldn't be
in this mess!Copy !req
169. You're trying to blame
this on chris?Copy !req
170. I—i—i'm sorry, man.Copy !req
171. I'm just projecting
my guilt onto an
innocent party,Copy !req
172. You know,
in a futile attempt
to alleviateCopy !req
173. My own feelings
of responsibility.Copy !req
174. What?Copy !req
175. What part didn't you
understand?Copy !req
176. Forget it, man.
We gotta do something,
and fast.Copy !req
177. The raffle is tomorrow.Copy !req
178. O.K., look.
I got an idea.Copy !req
179. What you got,
what you got?Copy !req
180. We could fix it.
Let me see...
Let me see...Copy !req
181. Oh, look!
I got a stapler.
Here we go.Copy !req
182. O.K., i got
another idea.Copy !req
183. Let's run away.Copy !req
184. Yeah, let's run away
to a placeCopy !req
185. Where it's always
sunny all the time,Copy !req
186. And nothing for me
to break.Copy !req
187. Just you, me,
and my balloon.Copy !req
188. Wow. That might have been
a good ideaCopy !req
189. If it wasn't such
an awful idea, man!Copy !req
190. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.Copy !req
191. Never mind. What are we
gonna do?Copy !req
192. Whoo! Chris has never seen
this tv before, right?Copy !req
193. No.Copy !req
194. So can't we just replaceCopy !req
195. The broken tv with a new one?Copy !req
196. Where are you gonna
get a new tv?Copy !req
197. I don't know.Copy !req
198. We can use my parents' tv!Copy !req
199. No, no. No, no!
You can't use
your parents' tv.Copy !req
200. Sure we can, because
we're gonna fix
the raffleCopy !req
201. So that the person
that wins the tv is you!Copy !req
202. Aaaggghhhh! For real?
For real? Oh, man!Copy !req
203. I always wanted
a tv like that, man!Copy !req
204. I know exactly where
to put it!Copy !req
205. I'm so excited!
Kel!Copy !req
206. You don't get to keep
the tv, man.Copy !req
207. You gotta give it back
to my parents.Copy !req
208. But... That's not fair.Copy !req
209. I won.Copy !req
210. Aaaaagggggghhhhhh!Copy !req
211. What did my balloon
ever do to you?Copy !req
212. Careful, man.
You're touching
the tv too hard.Copy !req
213. Man, we're gonna
get into trouble.
I just know it.Copy !req
214. So as long as we got
the tv back by then,Copy !req
215. They'll never even
know it was gone.Copy !req
216. Wow!Copy !req
217. Oh!Copy !req
218. What a great tv
for $242!Copy !req
219. That's because
it's a $800 tv...Copy !req
220. Just joking.
He don't know.Copy !req
221. Look at the expensive-looking
cheap tv.Copy !req
222. Well, 20 minutes
till raffle time!Copy !req
223. If you need me,
i'll be in the back
soaking my feet.Copy !req
224. O.K. Yeah. 20 minutes.
All right.Copy !req
225. O.K.Copy !req
226. This is the winning
raffle ticket, o.K.?Copy !req
227. Now, you hold this half.Copy !req
228. Instead of me putting
the other halfCopy !req
229. Into the drum
with the losing tickets,Copy !req
230. I'm gonna hold on to it.Copy !req
231. Then what?Copy !req
232. Then i'll pretend
to reach my handCopy !req
233. And pull the ticket out,
call out the winning number,Copy !req
234. And congratulations, kel!Copy !req
235. You win my parents' tv.Copy !req
236. That i don't get to keep.Copy !req
237. Enough!
Now, let's practice
you winning.Copy !req
238. All right.Copy !req
239. All right.Copy !req
240. I won! I won! I won!Copy !req
241. No, no, not yet, man.Copy !req
242. You gotta wait
for me to pull
the winning ticket.Copy !req
243. Oh.Copy !req
244. Now, here i go
spinning the drum.Copy !req
245. Oh, look at all
the ticketsCopy !req
246. Going around and around,Copy !req
247. Getting all mixed up.Copy !req
248. Is everyone excited?Copy !req
249. I won! I won!
I won! I won!Copy !req
250. No, man!Copy !req
251. Wait a minute.
Wait till i pull
this ticket—Copy !req
252. Reach in,
pull the ticket.Copy !req
253. Oh. Oh, o.K.Copy !req
254. Now here i go,
reaching my hand
inside,Copy !req
255. Already holding
your ticket.Copy !req
256. Oh, lookie here.Copy !req
257. And the winning
number is...Copy !req
258. 0-3-1-6-2-0.Copy !req
259. You see, kel, those
are also the numbers
on your ticket.Copy !req
260. You won! Celebrate!Copy !req
261. Oh, i won! I won!Copy !req
262. I won, i won, i won!Copy !req
263. Good.Copy !req
264. Kenan, could you give me
a hand back here?Copy !req
265. Uh... I'm coming.Copy !req
266. Now, i'm gonna
put the ticket
right here,Copy !req
267. And you just try not
to break the tv set,
all right?Copy !req
268. And the winner is...Copy !req
269. Kel kimball!Copy !req
270. Yeah! Oh, yeah!Copy !req
271. Whoo! Ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
272. Aaaagggghhh!Copy !req
273. Wow! People are already
lining up outside.Copy !req
274. Here, give me that.
Aaagggghhhh! No, no!Copy !req
275. From this point on
you gotta act like
you don't know me.Copy !req
276. But... But... But... Kenan...Copy !req
277. I'm sorry, sir.Copy !req
278. I have to help
other customersCopy !req
279. Who are also strangers
to me.Copy !req
280. Wait. Wait a minute.Copy !req
281. Ooh, i sure hope i win.Copy !req
282. I hope i win too.Copy !req
283. O.K. Who is going
to be the big winner?Copy !req
284. O.K.! Kenan is
about to announce
the big winner!Copy !req
285. Which lucky person
chosen completely
at randomCopy !req
286. Is gonna take home
the beautiful amani
double vision 2000?Copy !req
287. Let's get to spinning.Copy !req
288. All right, here we go.Copy !req
289. Spinning, spinning,
spinning!Copy !req
290. All right.
Now let's choose.Copy !req
291. Which ticket,
which ticket?Copy !req
292. This one.Copy !req
293. And the winning
number is 0...Copy !req
294. Aw, man!Copy !req
295. 0... 3... 1...Copy !req
296. 5... 0... 1.Copy !req
297. I won! I—i—i won!Copy !req
298. I won!Copy !req
299. Um... That's impossible!Copy !req
300. No. 0-3-1-5-0-1!Copy !req
301. I won!Copy !req
302. Ho ho ho!
Congratulations, lady.Copy !req
303. Thank you!Copy !req
304. Oh! Ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
305. Kel!Copy !req
306. Huh?Copy !req
307. Can i have a word
with you, please?Copy !req
308. Whyyyyyy?Copy !req
309. What happened?
Why didn't you win?Copy !req
310. Because i didn't have
the winning ticket?Copy !req
311. Yes. But why didn't you have
the winning ticket?Copy !req
312. Because... Because i
was practicing winningCopy !req
313. And both halves
of the ticket fell
in the ticket drum,Copy !req
314. And they got
all mixed up with
the other tickets.Copy !req
315. I tried to tell you,
but you told me not
to know you!Copy !req
316. If only i didn't know you.Copy !req
317. You're not gonna tell
your daddy... Are you?Copy !req
318. O.K., don't panic!
Don't panic. Think.Copy !req
319. The woman! We gotta
stop the woman!
Come on!Copy !req
320. Enjoy your
television.Copy !req
321. Oh, i will.Copy !req
322. Hey! Chillin'.
How're you doing?Copy !req
323. You might remember me.
I'm the man that called out
your winning ticket number.Copy !req
324. My name is kenan.Copy !req
325. Thank you, kenan.Copy !req
326. Hey, i could
use a hand getting
this out to my car.Copy !req
327. Oh, i'll give you a hand.Copy !req
328. No! Actually, i was just
about to talk to you
about the tv.Copy !req
329. Yeah?Copy !req
330. How would you like
to give me the tv back?Copy !req
331. No.Copy !req
332. No, wait now!
Just hear me out.Copy !req
333. Just hear me out!Copy !req
334. Now, you paid $1.00
for this tv, correct?Copy !req
335. Yeah.Copy !req
336. Well, i'm willing
to give you $2.00Copy !req
337. For the tv
you paid $1.00 for.Copy !req
338. You'll be doubling
your money.Copy !req
339. I know what you're thinking.Copy !req
340. You're thinking
that deals like this
don't come along every day.Copy !req
341. Actually i was
thinking aboutCopy !req
342. How much i want
you to get out
of my way.Copy !req
343. Really... Ow! Ow!Copy !req
344. O.K., o.K., o.K. $100!Copy !req
345. Do you even have $100?Copy !req
346. No.Copy !req
347. Look, kenan,
i'll handle this!Copy !req
348. Come here, woman!Copy !req
349. Give him his tv back.Copy !req
350. Well, this raffle
was a great idea.Copy !req
351. Thanks to you,
we sold 516 tickets.Copy !req
352. That means
you get $51.60!Copy !req
353. Thanks a lot.Copy !req
354. Wait a minute!Copy !req
355. Man, gotta go!Copy !req
356. Boy, she was fast,
but i got her shoe.Copy !req
357. Come on, man. Let's go buy
my parents another tv.Copy !req
358. I'll pay you back, chris.
I promise. Come on!Copy !req
359. I'll lend you the money.
You still have to
pay me...Copy !req
360. Aw! He's gone again.Copy !req
361. Ha ha ha.Copy !req
362. Hey, and welcome
to crazy betty's.Copy !req
363. I'm betty, and i'm crazy!Copy !req
364. You know who
that is, kenan?Copy !req
365. That's crazy betty—Copy !req
366. Crazy betty
from the commercials.Copy !req
367. Whoo hoo!Copy !req
368. Yeah, yeah, i know.Copy !req
369. I've seen
the commercials.Copy !req
370. Excuse me,
mr. Crazy... Betty...Copy !req
371. I need an amani
double vision 2000Copy !req
372. Delivered to my house
by 7:00 tonight.Copy !req
373. That's crazy talk.Copy !req
374. But lucky for you,
i'm crazy!Copy !req
375. Yeah. Do the noise,
do the noise!Copy !req
376. Yeah.Copy !req
377. Hey, hey, hey, now!Copy !req
378. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa!Copy !req
379. Now, how much is the tv?Copy !req
380. Well... Ha ha ha ha.Copy !req
381. Hey, juan.Copy !req
382. Now, if i was sane,
i'd have to charge you $800.Copy !req
383. $800?Copy !req
384. But lucky for you, i'm crazy!Copy !req
385. I can believe
you're crazy.Copy !req
386. Now, how much
is it gonna be?Copy !req
387. $500.Copy !req
388. Oh, great. I'll take it.Copy !req
389. All right.
Let me just go get youCopy !req
390. A crazy delivery form.Copy !req
391. Hey, i wonder why they
call him crazy betty.Copy !req
392. Because!Copy !req
393. Kel, will you stop it?Copy !req
394. Aaaagggggghhhhhh!Copy !req
395. I'm on tv!Copy !req
396. Oh, gee, that's great.Copy !req
397. Where did that betty go?Copy !req
398. Hey, kenan, come on!
Be on tv!Copy !req
399. I don't wanna be
on tv, kel.Copy !req
400. Yes, you do.Copy !req
401. Stop.Copy !req
402. Do something funny.Copy !req
403. Get the camera
outta my face.Copy !req
404. You look nice, kenan!Copy !req
405. Hey, look, kenan.
It's like we have
our own show.Copy !req
406. The kel and kenan show!Copy !req
407. Hey, put that
camera down, kel!Copy !req
408. Betty!Copy !req
409. Betty!Copy !req
410. Here we go.Copy !req
411. Here you go.Copy !req
412. All right.Copy !req
413. Oops!Copy !req
414. The tv's gonna be
delivered to my house
by 7:00, right?Copy !req
415. What's wrong with you?Copy !req
416. That was
a $450 video camera
you all just broke.Copy !req
417. But... Yeah... But...Copy !req
418. You're not gonna charge usCopy !req
419. For that $450 video camera,
are you?Copy !req
420. Are you kidding?
That's crazy talk.Copy !req
421. Lucky for me,
you're crazy.Copy !req
422. My name might be
crazy betty,Copy !req
423. But i ain't that crazy.Copy !req
424. W-wait a minute.Copy !req
425. Now, i got... $47.Copy !req
426. What can i get for $47?Copy !req
427. $47? Ha! Well,
why didn't you say so?Copy !req
428. I'll take good care
of you.Copy !req
429. Come on. Hop
to the back with me.Copy !req
430. Boy, $47 doesn't get
you much of a tv,
does it?Copy !req
431. It sure don't.Copy !req
432. Aaaaagggghhhhhhh!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
433. Man! Why'd you
have to break
the video camera?Copy !req
434. No, no! Better yet,Copy !req
435. Why'd you lose
the winning
raffle ticket?Copy !req
436. No, no! Why'd you have
to break chris's tv?Copy !req
437. It was an accident.Copy !req
438. It was an accident.Copy !req
439. I had to get
my balloon back.Copy !req
440. Oh, man!Copy !req
441. I—i'm dead.Copy !req
442. I'm dead.
I'm dead. Dead.Copy !req
443. Stop it!Copy !req
444. I'm sorry. I can't get
that tune out of my head.Copy !req
445. Yes! I can't wait to watch
the bulls game on my new tv!Copy !req
446. Oh, no, no. Our new tv.Copy !req
447. Our new one.
O.K., move boys.Copy !req
448. Here we go. Bulls!Copy !req
449. Wow. I guess i'm polished, huh?Copy !req
450. I can assume i'll be grounded
for about 2 weeks.Copy !req
451. O.K., o.K., o.K.!
A month!Copy !req
452. At which point i'll receive
no allowance,Copy !req
453. And i can't watch no tv.Copy !req
454. Ow!Copy !req
455. Oh, yeah. I guess i'm never
too old for a spanking, huh?Copy !req
456. Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh! Oh! Oh!Copy !req
457. Whoo! Thank you
very much.Copy !req
458. All right.
Did you all
enjoy the show?Copy !req
459. Yeah!Copy !req
460. Thank you.
That's good.Copy !req
461. That's good.Copy !req
462. So, are your parents
still upset about the tv?Copy !req
463. I don't know. Let's see.Copy !req
464. Does that answer
your question?Copy !req
465. I kind of like your parents
that way.Copy !req
466. Man, we can't just
leave them like that.Copy !req
467. Sure we can.Copy !req
468. No. Actually, i think
i found an idea.Copy !req
469. I know what can
snap them out of it.Copy !req
470. Oh, no!Copy !req
471. Oh, yeah, kel.Copy !req
472. Go grab a seal,
some aveel,Copy !req
473. And shaquille
o'neal,Copy !req
474. And meet me down
at the ferris wheel.Copy !req
475. Kenan!Copy !req
476. Why are you rhyming
and singing?Copy !req
477. Kenan, i don't like
ferris wheels.Copy !req
478. Ferris wheels make me throw up.Copy !req
479. See, ferris wheels...
Ferris wheels...Copy !req
480. Kenan!Copy !req
481. Oh!Copy !req
482. Oh, here it goes!Copy !req
483. Captioning made possible by
nickelodeon
and u.S. Department of educationCopy !req
484. Captioning performed by
the national captioning
institute, inc.Copy !req
485. Why?Copy !req