1. Oh, here it goes.Copy !req
2. Captioning made possible by
nickelodeon
and u.S. Department of educationCopy !req
3. Thank you.Copy !req
4. Thanks so much.Copy !req
5. Ow, wow.Copy !req
6. Thanks
for coming out.Copy !req
7. I go by the name
of kenan.Copy !req
8. And i'd like to be
referred to as kel.Copy !req
9. We'd like to welcome
you all to the show.Copy !req
10. Oh, you all look
so pretty.Copy !req
11. Yeah, yeah. And i'd like
to give a special shout-out
to my homeboy...Copy !req
12. Kenan!Copy !req
13. Kel, i'm standing
right here, man.Copy !req
14. There's no need
for any shouting out.Copy !req
15. Oh, my.Copy !req
16. Check it out.Copy !req
17. What's that, kel?Copy !req
18. A remote control.Copy !req
19. Don't play with it
out here.Copy !req
20. Wait. Don't push
the button!Copy !req
21. Change the channel.
Get us back.Copy !req
22. Oh, oh, o.K. Hold on.
I forgot the channel.Copy !req
23. No, that's not us.Copy !req
24. I don't know
what i'm doing.Copy !req
25. Wait a minute.
I'm gonna fix this thing.Copy !req
26. That's not it either.Copy !req
27. Oh, wait, wait.Copy !req
28. No, that's not—
give this, man.Copy !req
29. See if i can
handle this.Copy !req
30. Hey! There we are, man!
I love this show, man.Copy !req
31. Whoo! It's time
for kenan & kel.Copy !req
32. Oh, o.K. Can i have
my remote back?Copy !req
33. No. But since
you're interested
in electronics so much,Copy !req
34. I think you'll
find tonight's show
particularly dazzling.Copy !req
35. Come on, skippy. Oh!Copy !req
36. Kenan! I—i don't wanna
be dazzled.Copy !req
37. Kenan! C-can't we just watch
the baby elephants?Copy !req
38. Kenan! Kenan!Copy !req
39. Aw, here it goes!Copy !req
40. Kenan, what are
you doing?Copy !req
41. I'm pricing these grapes.Copy !req
42. You're not supposed
to put a price tag
on each grape!Copy !req
43. We sell them
by the bunch.Copy !req
44. Nobody buys
individual grapes.Copy !req
45. Excuse me.Copy !req
46. Do you sell
individual grapes?Copy !req
47. Why, yes, we do.Copy !req
48. Great! I'll take 3.Copy !req
49. Do you have change
for a nickel?Copy !req
50. Just keep it.Copy !req
51. Gee! Thanks!Copy !req
52. Hey, kenan!
Hey, chris!Copy !req
53. Hey, orange soda!Copy !req
54. Hey, kel, are you planning
to pay for that?Copy !req
55. Oh, i wasn't
planning on it,Copy !req
56. But let me see
what i can do.
Uh-huh. Naw.Copy !req
57. Uh-uh. No.Copy !req
58. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
How about next tuesday?Copy !req
59. O.K.?Copy !req
60. Hey, chris. What's with
that poster, man?Copy !req
61. Oh, hey, check this out!Copy !req
62. We are gonna have a raffle!Copy !req
63. Ooh! I love raffles,Copy !req
64. Especially with
a lot of maple syrup
and butter.Copy !req
65. Kel, that's a waffle.
Chris is talking
about a raffle.Copy !req
66. Oh, a raffle!Copy !req
67. Yes. A raffle's where
people buy ticketsCopy !req
68. For the chance
to win a prize.Copy !req
69. We are giving away
a brand-new television set!Copy !req
70. Chris, where are we gonna get
a brand-new television set?Copy !req
71. I've already ordered it...
On the telephone.Copy !req
72. It cost me $242.Copy !req
73. I see. So anything
that you make over $242
is cash in your pocket.Copy !req
74. Cha-ching!
Cha-ching!Copy !req
75. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!Copy !req
76. How about a raffle
to win a waffle?Copy !req
77. Cha-ching!Copy !req
78. And, kenan, i was thinking
that you could sell ticketsCopy !req
79. At school and around
the neighborhood.Copy !req
80. Wow, that's great!Copy !req
81. You know, i've been
trying to think of waysCopy !req
82. I could do some
extra work for free.Copy !req
83. I also thought that
i would pay you 10 centsCopy !req
84. For every raffle ticket
you sell.Copy !req
85. Oh, now you're talking.
Please?Copy !req
86. Wait! Kenan,
i meant after work!
You can't just lea...Copy !req
87. Oh, he's gone.Copy !req
88. Ooh whee! I can't
believe we gotCopy !req
89. This great
new television
for $800!Copy !req
90. 40-inch screen,
super-quadraphonic
speakers,Copy !req
91. Subtitles in spanish
and pig latin!Copy !req
92. This is the happiest day
of my life!Copy !req
93. What about
our wedding day?Copy !req
94. Well, that's up there.Copy !req
95. Man, i can't believe
you sold 40 tickets
in one day.Copy !req
96. I know. You all
wanna buy...Copy !req
97. Ooh, tv!Copy !req
98. A tv!Copy !req
99. Wait! Back away
from the set!Copy !req
100. Back... Away...
From the set!Copy !req
101. Sorry.Copy !req
102. Now, let's go
over a few rulesCopy !req
103. About the television.Copy !req
104. No touching,
sniffing, licking,Copy !req
105. Watching, or listening
to the set.Copy !req
106. Can we cover it
with paint?Copy !req
107. No.Copy !req
108. Just turn it on,
roger.Copy !req
109. O.K.Copy !req
110. Everyone,
prepare yourselfCopy !req
111. For the ultimate...Copy !req
112. In television
viewing experience.Copy !req
113. Drum roll,
please.Copy !req
114. Not on the set!
Not on the set!Copy !req
115. Not on the set.
No, no!Copy !req
116. Well, we don't have
a drum.Copy !req
117. Everyone... I give youCopy !req
118. The amani
double vision 2000.Copy !req
119. Dah!Copy !req
120. Oh!Copy !req
121. Ow!Copy !req
122. Aaaagggghhhhh!Copy !req
123. Yeah! Turn it up!Copy !req
124. Turn it up!Copy !req
125. Stop! Turn it off!Copy !req
126. I can't go on like this.Copy !req
127. Oh, why?Copy !req
128. Because we're from
2 different sides
of the garden.Copy !req
129. Hey, man, listen.
You're cabbage.
It'll never work.Copy !req
130. Well, if i can't
have you, then
no one will.Copy !req
131. Kenan, customer!Copy !req
132. Hey! Hey!Copy !req
133. So how'd it go, man?Copy !req
134. I sold one ticket.Copy !req
135. Wait. You mean you've
been gone for 2 hoursCopy !req
136. And you only made $1.00?Copy !req
137. Well, no, not exactly.Copy !req
138. Elaborate.Copy !req
139. Tell me what happened.Copy !req
140. Oh, oh! See, this clown wanted
to buy a raffle ticket,Copy !req
141. But, see, he didn't have
any money.Copy !req
142. So i traded him
the raffle ticket
for a balloon.Copy !req
143. It's an orange balloon.Copy !req
144. Isn't it handsome?Copy !req
145. Yeehaw!Copy !req
146. Can i have the rest
of my tickets back,
please?Copy !req
147. Oh, all right.
Let me see...Copy !req
148. Aaaagggghhhhhh! My balloon!Copy !req
149. My balloon!Copy !req
150. oh, my balloon!Copy !req
151. Oh, quick! Call
the fire department!Copy !req
152. Delivery for a chris potter?Copy !req
153. Right, the tv!
Just put it right
over there, man.
Thanks a lot.Copy !req
154. I'll sign for it
'cause chris
isn't here.Copy !req
155. Hey, you wanna buy
a raffle ticket?Copy !req
156. Oh, i—i'm not much
of a breakfast person.Copy !req
157. No, no.
A raffle, man,
not a waffle.Copy !req
158. Oh! How much are they?Copy !req
159. Well, they're
a buck apiece,
you know,Copy !req
160. And it's well
worth it.Copy !req
161. We're giving away
that nice tv
right there.Copy !req
162. It's worth more
than 242 bucks!Copy !req
163. Got it!Copy !req
164. I think i'll pass.Copy !req
165. Uh... Uh... Um...Copy !req
166. Look, kenan, i got
my balloon back.Copy !req
167. Why'd you have to
use chris's raffle
prize as some kind
of a trampoline?Copy !req
168. Well, if chris
was raffling offCopy !req
169. A trampoline
in the first place,Copy !req
170. We wouldn't be
in this mess!Copy !req
171. You're trying to blame
this on chris?Copy !req
172. I—i—i'm sorry, man.Copy !req
173. I'm just projecting
my guilt onto an
innocent party,Copy !req
174. You know,
in a futile attempt
to alleviateCopy !req
175. My own feelings
of responsibility.Copy !req
176. What?Copy !req
177. What part didn't you
understand?Copy !req
178. Forget it, man.
We gotta do something,
and fast.Copy !req
179. The raffle is tomorrow.Copy !req
180. O.K., look.
I got an idea.Copy !req
181. What you got,
what you got?Copy !req
182. We could fix it.
Let me see...
Let me see...Copy !req
183. Oh, look!
I got a stapler.
Here we go.Copy !req
184. O.K., i got
another idea.Copy !req
185. Let's run away.Copy !req
186. Yeah, let's run away
to a placeCopy !req
187. Where it's always
sunny all the time,Copy !req
188. And nothing for me
to break.Copy !req
189. Just you, me,
and my balloon.Copy !req
190. Wow. That might have been
a good ideaCopy !req
191. If it wasn't such
an awful idea, man!Copy !req
192. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.Copy !req
193. Never mind. What are we
gonna do?Copy !req
194. Whoo! Chris has never seen
this tv before, right?Copy !req
195. No.Copy !req
196. So can't we just replaceCopy !req
197. The broken tv with a new one?Copy !req
198. Where are you gonna
get a new tv?Copy !req
199. I don't know.Copy !req
200. We can use my parents' tv!Copy !req
201. No, no. No, no!
You can't use
your parents' tv.Copy !req
202. Sure we can, because
we're gonna fix
the raffleCopy !req
203. So that the person
that wins the tv is you!Copy !req
204. Aaaggghhhh! For real?
For real? Oh, man!Copy !req
205. I always wanted
a tv like that, man!Copy !req
206. I know exactly where
to put it!Copy !req
207. I'm so excited!
Kel!Copy !req
208. You don't get to keep
the tv, man.Copy !req
209. You gotta give it back
to my parents.Copy !req
210. But... That's not fair.Copy !req
211. I won.Copy !req
212. Aaaaagggggghhhhhh!Copy !req
213. What did my balloon
ever do to you?Copy !req
214. Careful, man.
You're touching
the tv too hard.Copy !req
215. Man, we're gonna
get into trouble.
I just know it.Copy !req
216. Would you relax?
I told you my parents
aren't gonna be home
until 7:00 tonight.Copy !req
217. So as long as we got
the tv back by then,Copy !req
218. They'll never even
know it was gone.Copy !req
219. Wow!Copy !req
220. Oh!Copy !req
221. What a great tv
for $242!Copy !req
222. That's because
it's a $800 tv...Copy !req
223. Just joking.
He don't know.Copy !req
224. Look at the expensive-looking
cheap tv.Copy !req
225. Well, 20 minutes
till raffle time!Copy !req
226. If you need me,
i'll be in the back
soaking my feet.Copy !req
227. O.K. Yeah. 20 minutes.
All right.Copy !req
228. So tell me again.
How am i winning
this tv that i
don't get to keep?Copy !req
229. O.K.Copy !req
230. This is the winning
raffle ticket, o.K.?Copy !req
231. Now, you hold this half.Copy !req
232. Instead of me putting
the other halfCopy !req
233. Into the drum
with the losing tickets,Copy !req
234. I'm gonna hold on to it.Copy !req
235. Then what?Copy !req
236. Then i'll pretend
to reach my handCopy !req
237. And pull the ticket out,
call out the winning number,Copy !req
238. And congratulations, kel!Copy !req
239. You win my parents' tv.Copy !req
240. That i don't get to keep.Copy !req
241. Enough!
Now, let's practice
you winning.Copy !req
242. All right.Copy !req
243. All right.Copy !req
244. I won! I won! I won!Copy !req
245. No, no, not yet, man.Copy !req
246. You gotta wait
for me to pull
the winning ticket.Copy !req
247. Oh.Copy !req
248. Now, here i go
spinning the drum.Copy !req
249. Oh, look at all
the ticketsCopy !req
250. Going around and around,Copy !req
251. Getting all mixed up.Copy !req
252. Is everyone excited?Copy !req
253. I won! I won!
I won! I won!Copy !req
254. No, man!Copy !req
255. Wait a minute.
Wait till i pull
this ticket—Copy !req
256. Reach in,
pull the ticket.Copy !req
257. Oh. Oh, o.K.Copy !req
258. Now here i go,
reaching my hand
inside,Copy !req
259. Already holding
your ticket.Copy !req
260. Oh, lookie here.Copy !req
261. And the winning
number is...Copy !req
262. 0-3-1-6-2-0.Copy !req
263. You see, kel, those
are also the numbers
on your ticket.Copy !req
264. You won! Celebrate!Copy !req
265. Oh, i won! I won!Copy !req
266. I won, i won, i won!Copy !req
267. Good.Copy !req
268. Kenan, could you give me
a hand back here?Copy !req
269. Uh... I'm coming.Copy !req
270. Now, i'm gonna
put the ticket
right here,Copy !req
271. And you just try not
to break the tv set,
all right?Copy !req
272. And the winner is...Copy !req
273. Kel kimball!Copy !req
274. Yeah! Oh, yeah!Copy !req
275. Whoo! Ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
276. Aaaagggghhh!Copy !req
277. Wow! People are already
lining up outside.Copy !req
278. Here, give me that.
Aaagggghhhh! No, no!Copy !req
279. From this point on
you gotta act like
you don't know me.Copy !req
280. But... But... But... Kenan...Copy !req
281. I'm sorry, sir.Copy !req
282. I have to help
other customersCopy !req
283. Who are also strangers
to me.Copy !req
284. Wait. Wait a minute.Copy !req
285. Ooh, i sure hope i win.Copy !req
286. I hope i win too.Copy !req
287. O.K. Who is going
to be the big winner?Copy !req
288. O.K.! Kenan is
about to announce
the big winner!Copy !req
289. Which lucky person
chosen completely
at randomCopy !req
290. Is gonna take home
the beautiful amani
double vision 2000?Copy !req
291. Let's get to spinning.Copy !req
292. All right, here we go.Copy !req
293. Spinning, spinning,
spinning!Copy !req
294. All right.
Now let's choose.Copy !req
295. Which ticket,
which ticket?Copy !req
296. This one.Copy !req
297. And the winning
number is 0...Copy !req
298. Aw, man!Copy !req
299. 0... 3... 1...Copy !req
300. 5... 0... 1.Copy !req
301. I won! I—i—i won!Copy !req
302. I won!Copy !req
303. Um... That's impossible!Copy !req
304. No. 0-3-1-5-0-1!Copy !req
305. I won!Copy !req
306. Ho ho ho!
Congratulations, lady.Copy !req
307. Thank you!Copy !req
308. Oh! Ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
309. Kel!Copy !req
310. Huh?Copy !req
311. Can i have a word
with you, please?Copy !req
312. Whyyyyyy?Copy !req
313. What happened?
Why didn't you win?Copy !req
314. Because i didn't have
the winning ticket?Copy !req
315. Yes. But why didn't you have
the winning ticket?Copy !req
316. Because... Because i
was practicing winningCopy !req
317. And both halves
of the ticket fell
in the ticket drum,Copy !req
318. And they got
all mixed up with
the other tickets.Copy !req
319. I tried to tell you,
but you told me not
to know you!Copy !req
320. If only i didn't know you.Copy !req
321. You're not gonna tell
your daddy... Are you?Copy !req
322. O.K., don't panic!
Don't panic. Think.Copy !req
323. The woman! We gotta
stop the woman!
Come on!Copy !req
324. Enjoy your
television.Copy !req
325. Oh, i will.Copy !req
326. Hey! Chillin'.
How're you doing?Copy !req
327. You might remember me.
I'm the man that called out
your winning ticket number.Copy !req
328. My name is kenan.Copy !req
329. Thank you, kenan.Copy !req
330. Hey, i could
use a hand getting
this out to my car.Copy !req
331. Oh, i'll give you a hand.Copy !req
332. No! Actually, i was just
about to talk to you
about the tv.Copy !req
333. Yeah?Copy !req
334. How would you like
to give me the tv back?Copy !req
335. No.Copy !req
336. No, wait now!
Just hear me out.Copy !req
337. Just hear me out!Copy !req
338. Now, you paid $1.00
for this tv, correct?Copy !req
339. Yeah.Copy !req
340. Well, i'm willing
to give you $2.00Copy !req
341. For the tv
you paid $1.00 for.Copy !req
342. You'll be doubling
your money.Copy !req
343. I know what you're thinking.Copy !req
344. You're thinking
that deals like this
don't come along every day.Copy !req
345. Actually i was
thinking aboutCopy !req
346. How much i want
you to get out
of my way.Copy !req
347. Really... Ow! Ow!Copy !req
348. O.K., o.K., o.K. $100!Copy !req
349. Do you even have $100?Copy !req
350. No.Copy !req
351. Look, kenan,
i'll handle this!Copy !req
352. Come here, woman!Copy !req
353. Give him his tv back.Copy !req
354. Well, this raffle
was a great idea.Copy !req
355. Thanks to you,
we sold 516 tickets.Copy !req
356. That means
you get $51.60!Copy !req
357. Thanks a lot.Copy !req
358. Thank you, chris,
but i'm afraid
i'm gonna need
all the money.Copy !req
359. Wait a minute!Copy !req
360. Man, gotta go!Copy !req
361. Boy, she was fast,
but i got her shoe.Copy !req
362. Come on, man. Let's go buy
my parents another tv.Copy !req
363. I'll pay you back, chris.
I promise. Come on!Copy !req
364. I'll lend you the money.
You still have to
pay me...Copy !req
365. Aw! He's gone again.Copy !req
366. Ha ha ha.Copy !req
367. Hey, and welcome
to crazy betty's.Copy !req
368. I'm betty, and i'm crazy!Copy !req
369. You know who
that is, kenan?Copy !req
370. That's crazy betty—Copy !req
371. Crazy betty
from the commercials.Copy !req
372. Whoo hoo!Copy !req
373. Yeah, yeah, i know.Copy !req
374. I've seen
the commercials.Copy !req
375. Excuse me,
mr. Crazy... Betty...Copy !req
376. I need an amani
double vision 2000Copy !req
377. Delivered to my house
by 7:00 tonight.Copy !req
378. That's crazy talk.Copy !req
379. But lucky for you,
i'm crazy!Copy !req
380. Yeah. Do the noise,
do the noise!Copy !req
381. Yeah.Copy !req
382. Hey, hey, hey, now!Copy !req
383. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa!Copy !req
384. Now, how much is the tv?Copy !req
385. Well... Ha ha ha ha.Copy !req
386. Hey, juan.Copy !req
387. Now, if i was sane,
i'd have to charge you $800.Copy !req
388. $800?Copy !req
389. But lucky for you, i'm crazy!Copy !req
390. I can believe
you're crazy.Copy !req
391. Now, how much
is it gonna be?Copy !req
392. $500.Copy !req
393. Oh, great. I'll take it.Copy !req
394. All right.
Let me just go get youCopy !req
395. A crazy delivery form.Copy !req
396. Hey, i wonder why they
call him crazy betty.Copy !req
397. Because!Copy !req
398. Kel, will you stop it?Copy !req
399. Aaaagggggghhhhhh!Copy !req
400. I'm on tv!Copy !req
401. Oh, gee, that's great.Copy !req
402. Where did that betty go?Copy !req
403. Hey, kenan, come on!
Be on tv!Copy !req
404. I don't wanna be
on tv, kel.Copy !req
405. Yes, you do.Copy !req
406. Stop.Copy !req
407. Do something funny.Copy !req
408. Get the camera
outta my face.Copy !req
409. You look nice, kenan!Copy !req
410. Hey, look, kenan.
It's like we have
our own show.Copy !req
411. The kel and kenan show!Copy !req
412. Hey, put that
camera down, kel!Copy !req
413. Betty!Copy !req
414. Betty!Copy !req
415. Here we go.Copy !req
416. Give me that $500,
and i'll get the tv
to your house
tonight.Copy !req
417. Here you go.Copy !req
418. All right.Copy !req
419. Oops!Copy !req
420. The tv's gonna be
delivered to my house
by 7:00, right?Copy !req
421. What's wrong with you?Copy !req
422. That was
a $450 video camera
you all just broke.Copy !req
423. But... Yeah... But...Copy !req
424. You're not gonna charge usCopy !req
425. For that $450 video camera,
are you?Copy !req
426. Are you kidding?
That's crazy talk.Copy !req
427. Lucky for me,
you're crazy.Copy !req
428. My name might be
crazy betty,Copy !req
429. But i ain't that crazy.Copy !req
430. W-wait a minute.Copy !req
431. Now, i got... $47.Copy !req
432. What can i get for $47?Copy !req
433. $47? Ha! Well,
why didn't you say so?Copy !req
434. I'll take good care
of you.Copy !req
435. Come on. Hop
to the back with me.Copy !req
436. Boy, $47 doesn't get
you much of a tv,
does it?Copy !req
437. It sure don't.Copy !req
438. Aaaaagggghhhhhhh!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
439. Man! Why'd you
have to break
the video camera?Copy !req
440. No, no! Better yet,Copy !req
441. Why'd you lose
the winning
raffle ticket?Copy !req
442. No, no! Why'd you have
to break chris's tv?Copy !req
443. It was an accident.Copy !req
444. It was an accident.Copy !req
445. I had to get
my balloon back.Copy !req
446. Oh, man!Copy !req
447. I—i'm dead.Copy !req
448. I'm dead.
I'm dead. Dead.Copy !req
449. Stop it!Copy !req
450. I'm sorry. I can't get
that tune out of my head.Copy !req
451. Yes! I can't wait to watch
the bulls game on my new tv!Copy !req
452. Oh, no, no. Our new tv.Copy !req
453. Our new one.
O.K., move boys.Copy !req
454. Here we go. Bulls!Copy !req
455. Wow. I guess i'm polished, huh?Copy !req
456. I can assume i'll be grounded
for about 2 weeks.Copy !req
457. O.K., o.K., o.K.!
A month!Copy !req
458. At which point i'll receive
no allowance,Copy !req
459. And i can't watch no tv.Copy !req
460. Ow!Copy !req
461. Oh, yeah. I guess i'm never
too old for a spanking, huh?Copy !req
462. Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh! Oh! Oh!Copy !req
463. Whoo! Thank you
very much.Copy !req
464. All right.
Did you all
enjoy the show?Copy !req
465. Yeah!Copy !req
466. Thank you.
That's good.Copy !req
467. That's good.Copy !req
468. So, are your parents
still upset about the tv?Copy !req
469. I don't know. Let's see.Copy !req
470. Does that answer
your question?Copy !req
471. I kind of like your parents
that way.Copy !req
472. Man, we can't just
leave them like that.Copy !req
473. Sure we can.Copy !req
474. No. Actually, i think
i found an idea.Copy !req
475. I know what can
snap them out of it.Copy !req
476. Oh, no!Copy !req
477. Oh, yeah, kel.Copy !req
478. Go grab a seal,
some aveel,Copy !req
479. And shaquille
o'neal,Copy !req
480. And meet me down
at the ferris wheel.Copy !req
481. Kenan!Copy !req
482. Why are you rhyming
and singing?Copy !req
483. Kenan, i don't like
ferris wheels.Copy !req
484. Ferris wheels make me throw up.Copy !req
485. See, ferris wheels...
Ferris wheels...Copy !req
486. Kenan!Copy !req
487. Oh!Copy !req
488. Oh, here it goes!Copy !req
489. Captioning made possible by
nickelodeon
and u.S. Department of educationCopy !req
490. Captioning performed by
the national captioning
institute, inc.Copy !req
491. Why?Copy !req