1. Oh, here it goes.Copy !req
2. Captioning made possible
by nickelodeonCopy !req
3. And the u.S. Department
of educationCopy !req
4. Thank you so much.Copy !req
5. Wow. Hello, out there
in tv land.Copy !req
6. My name is kenan.Copy !req
7. Thank you, thank you.Copy !req
8. Yup, yup. And i'm kenan's
friend and costar, kel!Copy !req
9. All right.Copy !req
10. I'll be right back.Copy !req
11. Kel, where are
you going, kel?Copy !req
12. Oh, yes. Oh, oh,
yeah, oh, yeah.Copy !req
13. Whoa!Copy !req
14. Wow, that was pretty
impressive.Copy !req
15. Kel, would you...Copy !req
16. Hey, can i ask you
something?Copy !req
17. Will you stop
with the flipping,
bouncy?Copy !req
18. Ta-da!Copy !req
19. Yeah, thank you.Copy !req
20. What was pretty
impressive.Copy !req
21. Why, that's
quite a talent,
i'll tell you.Copy !req
22. Yeah, well, i can do a lot
of things, you know.
Wanna see some more?Copy !req
23. No, no, no.
Don't show us.Copy !req
24. Save your talent
for tonight's show.Copy !req
25. Heh heh heh. Hey!
Now, come on, flippy.Copy !req
26. You were flipping,
and you went back there,
and then you came...Copy !req
27. All right.Copy !req
28. Kenan? Kenan, w—why am i gonnaCopy !req
29. Need talent for tonight's show?Copy !req
30. Kenan, i—i think
i pulled a muscle doing
the twirly twirly things.Copy !req
31. Kenan?Copy !req
32. Kenan?Copy !req
33. Oh, here it goes!Copy !req
34. Oh, no thanks, kenan.Copy !req
35. Chris and i'll do
do all the work.Copy !req
36. You just go ahead and finish
listening to the bulls game.Copy !req
37. O.K. Cool.Copy !req
38. And it's
jordan up the middle.Copy !req
39. He goes for the dunk and slam.
2 points for the bulls!Copy !req
40. Yes. 2 points.
Boy, that's my man.Copy !req
41. That's my boy.Copy !req
42. Oh, thanks a lot, kenan.Copy !req
43. Stop, you're embarrassing me.Copy !req
44. I'm not applauding
for you.Copy !req
45. I'm applauding
for michael jordan.Copy !req
46. Michael jordan's here?
Michael jordan?Copy !req
47. Where is he? M.J.? M.J.!Copy !req
48. He's hiding right under
the counter next to
shaquille o'neal.Copy !req
49. Yeah, right.
Like shaquille o'neal
is really here.Copy !req
50. How gullible
do you think i am?Copy !req
51. Kel, i think kenan was
clapping at the radio.Copy !req
52. Oh, well, it is a nice radio,
but i'm a bigger fan
of the cash register.Copy !req
53. Kel! I was listening
to the bulls game
on the radio.Copy !req
54. Now, come on,
you're missing it.Copy !req
55. Had the ball,
and no, it's stolen by jordan!Copy !req
56. Passed to rodman,
and score!Copy !req
57. I can't believe rodman!
Boy, i'll tell you.
Whoo!Copy !req
58. Oh, man, a commercial.Copy !req
59. Kenan, could you
help me in back?Copy !req
60. I need to move
some heavy boxes.Copy !req
61. Oh, sure. Crunch!Copy !req
62. Ooh! My back!Copy !req
63. Oh, pain!Copy !req
64. Shouldn't lift.Copy !req
65. Sharyla, can you give me a hand
in back, please?Copy !req
66. Sure. I wouldn't want kenan
to aggravate his fake injury.Copy !req
67. Excuse me, young man.Copy !req
68. Yes, ma'am?Copy !req
69. Do you sell groceries here?Copy !req
70. Yes, we do. This is
a grocery store.Copy !req
71. I see. Young man,
where do you keep
the groceries?Copy !req
72. Look around.
Everywhere you turn,Copy !req
73. You're bound
to see a grocery.Copy !req
74. I see.Copy !req
75. When did you guys start
carrying groceries?Copy !req
76. Youza! This is macho mike!Copy !req
77. How would you like
to see the bullsCopy !req
78. Played live
from courtside, hmm?Copy !req
79. Excuse me, young man.Copy !req
80. Will you help me reach that
grocery up there?Copy !req
81. Yeah, yeah,
in a second.Copy !req
82. Get ready to go bonkers
for the bulls!Copy !req
83. That's right.
Macho mike and funk 107 fmCopy !req
84. Are giving away
2 courtside seatsCopy !req
85. To whoever can perform
wackiest stunts of the day.Copy !req
86. So this saturday come on down
to the station,Copy !req
87. And go bonkers for the bulls!Copy !req
88. Oh!Copy !req
89. Kel, did you hear that?Copy !req
90. Yeah, it sounded
like a bunch of cans
falling on some old lady.Copy !req
91. No, not that, the radio.Copy !req
92. They say we can win tickets
to see the bulls play live!
Can you imagine that?Copy !req
93. What are you doing?Copy !req
94. Trying to imagine it.Copy !req
95. Oh, you ruined
my concentration!Copy !req
96. We gotta enter
that contest, kel.Copy !req
97. We can win,
i just know it!Copy !req
98. And then it'll be
me, you, and...Copy !req
99. Excuse me, young man.
How much for this grocery?Copy !req
100. Um... 59 cents?Copy !req
101. I see.Copy !req
102. Mm-hmm. Come on.Copy !req
103. Roger, what are you doing?Copy !req
104. I'm fixing the lamp, dear.Copy !req
105. Oh, did you try replacing
the light bulb?Copy !req
106. The light bulbs are
in the kitchen, dear.Copy !req
107. So all we gotta do
is come up with
a crazy stunt,Copy !req
108. And we win
those tickets.
It's easy.Copy !req
109. I don't know, kenan.Copy !req
110. I heard the guy
that won last yearCopy !req
111. Skateboarded butt-naked
into a pool of cockroaches.Copy !req
112. Oh, please,
that's nothing.Copy !req
113. What?Copy !req
114. Hello, funk 107?Copy !req
115. Yeah. I would like
to enter macho mike'sCopy !req
116. Bonkers
for the bulls contest.Copy !req
117. My name? Well, um...Copy !req
118. Is kel... Kel kimball.Copy !req
119. This saturday? Oh, yeah,
i'll be there.Copy !req
120. Yeah. Definitely
gonna be crazy.
O.K. Bye bye.Copy !req
121. It's all set.Copy !req
122. Now all we gotta
do is come up withCopy !req
123. Some kind of a crazy,
dangerous stunt
for you to do.Copy !req
124. Don't you mean a crazy,
dangerous stunt for us to to?Copy !req
125. Kel, we're in
this 50/50, man.Copy !req
126. I made the phone call,Copy !req
127. So you get
to do the crazy,
dangerous stunt.Copy !req
128. Oh, 50/50.Copy !req
129. Yeah. Now, let's think.
What can we have you do?Copy !req
130. I got an idea!Copy !req
131. I fixed the lamp.Copy !req
132. Now, here's what
i want you to do.Copy !req
133. I want you to stand
upside downCopy !req
134. With your head
in this bucket full
of flavored gelatin.Copy !req
135. Then i'm gonna time you
and see how long you
can hold your breath.Copy !req
136. Well, you could have got
orange-flavored gelatin.Copy !req
137. I didn't have
orange-flavored
gelatin,Copy !req
138. So you get frutti tutti.Copy !req
139. What if i can't hold
my breath that long?Copy !req
140. Well, the minute
you feel you can't
do it anymore,Copy !req
141. Just click
your heels together,
and i'll help you out.Copy !req
142. Well, it sounds like nothing
could possibly go wrong.Copy !req
143. Let's do it!
All right.Copy !req
144. Here we go.Copy !req
145. Ahhhhh! There you go.Copy !req
146. That's 5 seconds.
All right, keep going.Copy !req
147. Hello?Copy !req
148. Man, i don't feel
like buying no...Copy !req
149. O.K. Oh.Copy !req
150. Yeah.Copy !req
151. Why, yes, 19.95
does sound like
a pretty good deal.Copy !req
152. Oh. O.K.Copy !req
153. Oh, now, that's special.Copy !req
154. Yeah, o.K.
And it slices
through a boneCopy !req
155. As easily
as slicing bread.Copy !req
156. Hold on.Copy !req
157. Oh, that's...
Wow. Man, that's
something special.Copy !req
158. Hey, hey, kel,Copy !req
159. You ought
to see what's...Copy !req
160. Hold on a second.Copy !req
161. Kel? Come on, buddy.Copy !req
162. Air, air, air!Copy !req
163. Who loves air?Copy !req
164. Kel loves air.Copy !req
165. Is it true?Copy !req
166. Oh, yes, i do, i do.Copy !req
167. Oooohhhhh!Copy !req
168. Oh, this is awful.Copy !req
169. Oh, no, it's o.K.
I'm all right.Copy !req
170. No, not that.Copy !req
171. I gotta think
of something else
for you to do.Copy !req
172. Ready?Copy !req
173. I think so.Copy !req
174. Go.Copy !req
175. Oh! Oh! Oh!Copy !req
176. Ow!Copy !req
177. hey?Copy !req
178. How're you feeling?Copy !req
179. Oh!Copy !req
180. Now, kel, if you can lift
that 100-pound block
with just your tongue,Copy !req
181. We're sure to win.Copy !req
182. Are you ready?Copy !req
183. Well, then,
lift, kel, lift!Copy !req
184. Uh... K—k—kel?Copy !req
185. Maybe you should stop.Copy !req
186. Kenan, i don't know
about this.Copy !req
187. I mean,
it looks painful.Copy !req
188. Stop being such a wimp.Copy !req
189. But...
Ready?Copy !req
190. Go!Copy !req
191. Whoo!Copy !req
192. Missed me!Copy !req
193. Kenan?Copy !req
194. Hey, chris. Did you know
this milk was past
its expiration date?Copy !req
195. Oh, well, maybe
it's still o.K.Copy !req
196. Let me see.Copy !req
197. Ohhhh!Copy !req
198. Well, maybe it still
tastes o.K.Copy !req
199. Sharyla, can you
take all the milk off
the shelves, please?Copy !req
200. I'm gonna go to the back room
for a while.Copy !req
201. Hi, kenan. Hi, kel.Copy !req
202. Ooh.Copy !req
203. What are you doing?Copy !req
204. What does it look like?
Kel is sitting half-nakedCopy !req
205. On a big block of ice,
and i'm timing him.Copy !req
206. Kenan, i can't feel my butt.Copy !req
207. Why would you wanna
feel your butt?Copy !req
208. Kel, this may seem
like an odd question,Copy !req
209. But why are you sitting
on a big block of ice?Copy !req
210. S—so we can win tickets
to go see the bulls.Copy !req
211. That's right.Copy !req
212. Macho mike and funk 107Copy !req
213. Are having a big contest
this saturday,Copy !req
214. And whoever shows up
and does the craziest,
wackiest stuntCopy !req
215. Gets courtside seats
to the bulls.Copy !req
216. Courtside seats!
I gotta get me some
of this action.Copy !req
217. How're you doing, kel?Copy !req
218. Good. Keep going.
Just another half hour.Copy !req
219. Ah, good, kenan. I was just
coming back here to tell youCopy !req
220. That someone needed to sit
on the giant block of ice,Copy !req
221. But i see, as usual,
you've already got it covered.Copy !req
222. Oh, my name is sharyla,
and all i'm clever and witty,Copy !req
223. And i make fun of people.Copy !req
224. Oh, kenan, i can't
do it anymore!Copy !req
225. Let's just—let's just
forget about it,
all right?Copy !req
226. We're never
gonna win that
bulls contest.Copy !req
227. You guys aren't really
in that stupid contest, are you?Copy !req
228. Cold! You've got
as much a chanceCopy !req
229. Of winning those ticketsCopy !req
230. As you do at teaching
kel here to fly.Copy !req
231. That's it! That's exactly
what we're gonna do.Copy !req
232. Kel's gonna fly!Copy !req
233. Thank you so much, sharyla.Copy !req
234. Oh, leaving so soon?Copy !req
235. I'm sorry.Copy !req
236. But you will.Copy !req
237. With this stunt,
there's no way
we can lose.Copy !req
238. Oh, but it sounds
crazy and dangerous.Copy !req
239. Exactly.Copy !req
240. Oh!Copy !req
241. Damn.Copy !req
242. Whoo!Copy !req
243. Ah! Perfect day to fly.Copy !req
244. Come on, kel.Copy !req
245. Kenan, why do i have
to be shot out
of a cannon?Copy !req
246. Well, how else
do you expect
to fly?Copy !req
247. I don't know. Um...Copy !req
248. Squawk!Copy !req
249. Now, relax, kel.Copy !req
250. It's real simple.Copy !req
251. All we're gonna do
is shove you down
into the cannon hole.Copy !req
252. I'm gonna light the fuse,
the cannon's gonna explode,Copy !req
253. You go flying,
then we're off to
see the chicago bulls!Copy !req
254. Wait a minute, kenan.
That sounds dangerous.Copy !req
255. You could burn your hair
lighting that fuse.Copy !req
256. That's a risk
i'm willing to take.Copy !req
257. Let's do it!
All right, buddy.Copy !req
258. Hello, pittsburgh!Copy !req
259. Ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
260. Hello, chicago!Copy !req
261. I'm macho mike.Copy !req
262. Are you ready to go bonkers
for the bulls?Copy !req
263. Yeah!Copy !req
264. I kind of pictured macho mike
looking a little different.Copy !req
265. You mean like... Macho?Copy !req
266. No, i just thought
he'd have darker hair.Copy !req
267. All right. Let's get this party
started correctly.Copy !req
268. Our first contestant
is gretchen shaftner.Copy !req
269. Gretchen
is gonna twist herselfCopy !req
270. Into the shape of a pretzel!Copy !req
271. Oh, my. Oh, my.Copy !req
272. I wonder if she can twist
herself into the shape
of an ice cream sundae?Copy !req
273. Maybe she can
twist herself into
the shape of a brain,Copy !req
274. And we can put it
in your head.Copy !req
275. She can't fit in my head.Copy !req
276. Hey, guys. Look who went
bonkers for the bulls.Copy !req
277. Chris?Copy !req
278. What you done
to yourself?Copy !req
279. Well, i thought i'd do
something really crazy
to get those tickets,Copy !req
280. So i died my hair pink
and had my eyelid pierced.Copy !req
281. And what's your name
and talent?Copy !req
282. I'm chris potter,
and I...Copy !req
283. I had my hair died pink
and my eyebrow pierced.Copy !req
284. Uh, yeah.
So what's your talent?Copy !req
285. I'm just here to watch.Copy !req
286. Have you signed up?Copy !req
287. Yup. Kel here's gonna be
shot out of a cannon,Copy !req
288. And then we're gonna
win those tickets.Copy !req
289. Kenan, you realize, of course,
that only the personCopy !req
290. Who performs the stunt
wins the ticket.Copy !req
291. What?Copy !req
292. Yeah. They're giving away
2 separate ticketsCopy !req
293. To the 2 people who perform
the 2 wackiest stunts.Copy !req
294. Is he telling the truth?Copy !req
295. That's right.Copy !req
296. Aaggghhh! Oh,
what if i performCopy !req
297. A stunt with kel.Copy !req
298. Then can we win
the tickets?Copy !req
299. Yes.Copy !req
300. Aw, man!Copy !req
301. Now i gotta do
the stunt with you!Copy !req
302. Yay!Copy !req
303. No, not yay.Copy !req
304. I don't wanna be shotCopy !req
305. Out of a cannon.
It's dangerous.Copy !req
306. You weren't worried
about it being
dangerous before.Copy !req
307. That's when only
you were doing it.Copy !req
308. Ouch! Help, i'm stuck.Copy !req
309. Wow! Somebody put some mustard
on that gal.Copy !req
310. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
311. O.K. Our next contestant
is burton nepshure.Copy !req
312. Burton is gonna dive
from this 30-foot platformCopy !req
313. Into a pool filled
with pudding.Copy !req
314. Youza!Copy !req
315. You know, maybe we
should just quit.Copy !req
316. No, never, man.Copy !req
317. We just gotta figure out
a way that we can both
do this stunt.Copy !req
318. I got it.Copy !req
319. See, you just stand
in front of the cannon,Copy !req
320. And when it shoots me out,
i grab you real quick
and take you with me.Copy !req
321. I was trying to think
of a plan that might
actually work.Copy !req
322. Man, we gotta think
of something.Copy !req
323. Man, we're both
just gonna have to
get in that cannon.Copy !req
324. We both can't fit
in that cannon!Copy !req
325. We have to try!Copy !req
326. Kenan, no, i don't
think it's a good...
Oh! Ow!Copy !req
327. I'm sorry.Copy !req
328. Well, maybe if
i can shove you
down far enough,Copy !req
329. I can fit on top.Copy !req
330. Kenan, it's not working!Copy !req
331. Oh, man! Well,
come on out.
Come on.Copy !req
332. Man, we gotta think
of something.Copy !req
333. O.K., burton.
Are you ready?Copy !req
334. Yes.Copy !req
335. O.K. 10... 9... 8...Copy !req
336. 7... 6...Copy !req
337. Ooh!Copy !req
338. Did you see that guy
almost hit the pudding?Copy !req
339. Kel, if he wins a ticket,
then that means we don't
win a ticket.Copy !req
340. Oh.Copy !req
341. Boo! I hope you lose.
Look at you! Boo!Copy !req
342. Oh, i fell in the pudding
and hurt myself.Copy !req
343. Kel, stop playing, man.
We gotta think of something.Copy !req
344. I can't think
of anything.Copy !req
345. You don't say.Copy !req
346. I do say.Copy !req
347. Stop it.Copy !req
348. I got it!Copy !req
349. We'll both stick one
leg apiece inside
the cannon,Copy !req
350. Then it'll shoot us off.Copy !req
351. We're gonna fly right
into our courtside seats.Copy !req
352. Real genius!Copy !req
353. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
354. Our next wacky stunster
is yudell gibbs.Copy !req
355. This is gonna be great!Copy !req
356. Yudell is gonna shoot himself
out of a cannon!Copy !req
357. Yeah, man, now, that's cool.
Boy, i can't wait to see that.Copy !req
358. He's gonna shoot himself
out of a cannon.Copy !req
359. Kel! That's not cool, man.
He's gonna be shot out
of a cannon.Copy !req
360. That's our stunt.Copy !req
361. No, huckleberry!Copy !req
362. Huckleberry.Copy !req
363. O.K., there's no time
to panic. No time to panic.Copy !req
364. You guys are up next.Copy !req
365. Aaaaggghhhh! Time to panic.
Time to panic!Copy !req
366. Aaaaagggggghhhhhhhh!Copy !req
367. Aw, man! That could
have been us.Copy !req
368. Oh, we gotta think
of something.Copy !req
369. All right. Our next contestant
is kel kimball!Copy !req
370. And kenan rockmore.
I'm doing the stunt
with him.Copy !req
371. All right. So, you 2 areCopy !req
372. To be shot out of a cannon.
Gee, that's original.Copy !req
373. What are you gonna do?Copy !req
374. What are we gonna do?Copy !req
375. I'm thinking, i'm thinking.
Mr. Macho, mike...Copy !req
376. Yes, yes.Copy !req
377. Would it be possible for us
to come up a little later?Copy !req
378. No, sorry. You either go now,Copy !req
379. Or you can forget about winning
those bulls tickets!Copy !req
380. So what stunt are
you guys gonna do?Copy !req
381. Um... Um...Copy !req
382. We're gonna eat a bike.Copy !req
383. Yeah, that's right,
tell 'em. Eat a bike.Copy !req
384. Hey, hey!Copy !req
385. Excuse me. Did macho mikeCopy !req
386. Hear you correctly?Copy !req
387. You 2 are gonna eat a bicycle?Copy !req
388. That's right.Copy !req
389. I don't wanna eat
a bicycle.Copy !req
390. Kel, start eating.Copy !req
391. My stomach hurts.Copy !req
392. Me too.Copy !req
393. Maybe it was all that
cotton candy we ate.Copy !req
394. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
395. Or maybe our stomachs hurt
because we ate a whole bicycle!Copy !req
396. At least you didn't
eat the bell.Copy !req
397. Oh, how do you boys feel?Copy !req
398. Like we ate
a whole bicycle!Copy !req
399. Well, at least you won!Copy !req
400. Yeah, but we're too sick
to go to the game.Copy !req
401. Ooh, we're going
to the bulls game!Copy !req
402. Rockmore and jordan
slam dunk!Copy !req
403. Roger!Copy !req
404. What?Copy !req
405. Oh. Sorry.Copy !req
406. Well, come on.
We don't wanna be late.Copy !req
407. Come on. Let's go.Copy !req
408. Aaaaaggggghhhhhh!Copy !req
409. Courtside seats.Copy !req
410. Bye!Copy !req
411. And remind me to never
eat a bike again.Copy !req
412. Ugh! Kenan, you got
something in your teeth.Copy !req
413. Ooooohhhhhhh!Copy !req
414. Man!Copy !req
415. Thank you.Copy !req
416. Wow. Thank you all
for checking out
the show.Copy !req
417. Now, kel, now, kel.Copy !req
418. Besides us getting sick
and me owing chris
a new bike,Copy !req
419. This episode didn't
turn out so bad
after all.Copy !req
420. I was thinking.
How about next episodeCopy !req
421. We just stay home
and watch television?Copy !req
422. But that's too safe.Copy !req
423. What kind
of mischief
can we get intoCopy !req
424. If we just sit
around watching tv?Copy !req
425. Exactly.Copy !req
426. Kel, we have
a responsibility
to our audienceCopy !req
427. To get into as much
trouble and mischief
as possible, right?Copy !req
428. That's not necessarily so.Copy !req
429. I mean, c—c—come on.Copy !req
430. Do you guys really wanna
see me and kenan get in
so much trouble? Come on.Copy !req
431. How do you guys know what
the audience wants to see?Copy !req
432. Kel, that is
the audience, man.Copy !req
433. And you know what?Copy !req
434. And satisfy
the audienceCopy !req
435. And get chris a new bike
all at the same time!Copy !req
436. No!Copy !req
437. Yeah!Copy !req
438. Kel, go grab
something...Copy !req
439. Something else,
and a third thing,Copy !req
440. And meet me there.
Come on, nickname.Copy !req
441. Kenan, where am i gonna find
a third thing?Copy !req
442. Kenan, why are you so vague?Copy !req
443. Kenan!Copy !req
444. Aaaaaaaaawwwwwwww!Copy !req
445. Here it goes!Copy !req
446. Captioning made possible
by nickelodeonCopy !req
447. And the u.S. Department
of educationCopy !req
448. Captioning performed by
the national captioning
institute, inc.Copy !req