1. Oh, here it goes.Copy !req
2. Captioning made possible
by nickelodeonCopy !req
3. And the u.S. Department
of educationCopy !req
4. Thank you so much.Copy !req
5. Wow. Hello, out there
in tv land.Copy !req
6. My name is kenan.Copy !req
7. Thank you, thank you.Copy !req
8. Yup, yup. And i'm kenan's
friend and costar, kel!Copy !req
9. All right.Copy !req
10. I'll be right back.Copy !req
11. Kel, where are
you going, kel?Copy !req
12. Oh, yes. Oh, oh,
yeah, oh, yeah.Copy !req
13. Whoa!Copy !req
14. Wow, that was pretty
impressive.Copy !req
15. Kel, would you...Copy !req
16. Hey, can i ask you
something?Copy !req
17. Will you stop
with the flipping,
bouncy?Copy !req
18. Ta-da!Copy !req
19. Yeah, thank you.Copy !req
20. What was pretty
impressive.Copy !req
21. Why, that's
quite a talent,
i'll tell you.Copy !req
22. Yeah, well, i can do a lot
of things, you know.
Wanna see some more?Copy !req
23. No, no, no.
Don't show us.Copy !req
24. Save your talent
for tonight's show.Copy !req
25. Heh heh heh. Hey!
Now, come on, flippy.Copy !req
26. You were flipping,
and you went back there,
and then you came...Copy !req
27. All right.Copy !req
28. Kenan? Kenan, w—why am i gonnaCopy !req
29. Need talent for tonight's show?Copy !req
30. Kenan, i—i think
i pulled a muscle doing
the twirly twirly things.Copy !req
31. Kenan?Copy !req
32. Kenan?Copy !req
33. Oh, here it goes!Copy !req
34. Oh, no thanks, kenan.Copy !req
35. Chris and i'll do
do all the work.Copy !req
36. You just go ahead and finish
listening to the bulls game.Copy !req
37. O.K. Cool.Copy !req
38. And it's
jordan up the middle.Copy !req
39. He goes for the dunk and slam.
2 points for the bulls!Copy !req
40. Yes. 2 points.
Boy, that's my man.Copy !req
41. That's my boy.Copy !req
42. Oh, thanks a lot, kenan.Copy !req
43. Stop, you're embarrassing me.Copy !req
44. I'm not applauding
for you.Copy !req
45. I'm applauding
for michael jordan.Copy !req
46. Michael jordan's here?
Michael jordan?Copy !req
47. Where is he? M.J.? M.J.!Copy !req
48. He's hiding right under
the counter next to
shaquille o'neal.Copy !req
49. Yeah, right.
Like shaquille o'neal
is really here.Copy !req
50. How gullible
do you think i am?Copy !req
51. Kel, i think kenan was
clapping at the radio.Copy !req
52. Oh, well, it is a nice radio,
but i'm a bigger fan
of the cash register.Copy !req
53. Kel! I was listening
to the bulls game
on the radio.Copy !req
54. Now, come on,
you're missing it.Copy !req
55. Had the ball,
and no, it's stolen by jordan!Copy !req
56. Passed to rodman,
and score!Copy !req
57. I can't believe rodman!
Boy, i'll tell you.
Whoo!Copy !req
58. And we'll be right back
with our complete coverage
of the bulls game right
after these messages.Copy !req
59. Oh, man, a commercial.Copy !req
60. Kenan, could you
help me in back?Copy !req
61. I need to move
some heavy boxes.Copy !req
62. Oh, sure. Crunch!Copy !req
63. Ooh! My back!Copy !req
64. Oh, pain!Copy !req
65. Shouldn't lift.Copy !req
66. Sharyla, can you give me a hand
in back, please?Copy !req
67. Sure. I wouldn't want kenan
to aggravate his fake injury.Copy !req
68. Excuse me, young man.Copy !req
69. Yes, ma'am?Copy !req
70. Do you sell groceries here?Copy !req
71. Yes, we do. This is
a grocery store.Copy !req
72. I see. Young man,
where do you keep
the groceries?Copy !req
73. Look around.
Everywhere you turn,Copy !req
74. You're bound
to see a grocery.Copy !req
75. I see.Copy !req
76. When did you guys start
carrying groceries?Copy !req
77. Youza! This is macho mike!Copy !req
78. How would you like
to see the bullsCopy !req
79. Played live
from courtside, hmm?Copy !req
80. Excuse me, young man.Copy !req
81. Will you help me reach that
grocery up there?Copy !req
82. Yeah, yeah,
in a second.Copy !req
83. Get ready to go bonkers
for the bulls!Copy !req
84. That's right.
Macho mike and funk 107 fmCopy !req
85. Are giving away
2 courtside seatsCopy !req
86. To whoever can perform
wackiest stunts of the day.Copy !req
87. So this saturday come on down
to the station,Copy !req
88. And go bonkers for the bulls!Copy !req
89. Oh!Copy !req
90. Kel, did you hear that?Copy !req
91. Yeah, it sounded
like a bunch of cans
falling on some old lady.Copy !req
92. No, not that, the radio.Copy !req
93. They say we can win tickets
to see the bulls play live!
Can you imagine that?Copy !req
94. What are you doing?Copy !req
95. Trying to imagine it.Copy !req
96. Oh, you ruined
my concentration!Copy !req
97. We gotta enter
that contest, kel.Copy !req
98. We can win,
i just know it!Copy !req
99. And then it'll be
me, you, and...Copy !req
100. Excuse me, young man.
How much for this grocery?Copy !req
101. Um... 59 cents?Copy !req
102. I see.Copy !req
103. Mm-hmm. Come on.Copy !req
104. Roger, what are you doing?Copy !req
105. I'm fixing the lamp, dear.Copy !req
106. Oh, did you try replacing
the light bulb?Copy !req
107. The light bulbs are
in the kitchen, dear.Copy !req
108. So all we gotta do
is come up with
a crazy stunt,Copy !req
109. And we win
those tickets.
It's easy.Copy !req
110. I don't know, kenan.Copy !req
111. I heard the guy
that won last yearCopy !req
112. Skateboarded butt-naked
into a pool of cockroaches.Copy !req
113. Oh, please,
that's nothing.Copy !req
114. What?Copy !req
115. Hello, funk 107?Copy !req
116. Yeah. I would like
to enter macho mike'sCopy !req
117. Bonkers
for the bulls contest.Copy !req
118. My name? Well, um...Copy !req
119. Is kel... Kel kimball.Copy !req
120. This saturday? Oh, yeah,
i'll be there.Copy !req
121. Yeah. Definitely
gonna be crazy.
O.K. Bye bye.Copy !req
122. It's all set.Copy !req
123. Now all we gotta
do is come up withCopy !req
124. Some kind of a crazy,
dangerous stunt
for you to do.Copy !req
125. Don't you mean a crazy,
dangerous stunt for us to to?Copy !req
126. Kel, we're in
this 50/50, man.Copy !req
127. I made the phone call,Copy !req
128. So you get
to do the crazy,
dangerous stunt.Copy !req
129. Oh, 50/50.Copy !req
130. Yeah. Now, let's think.
What can we have you do?Copy !req
131. I got an idea!Copy !req
132. I fixed the lamp.Copy !req
133. Now, here's what
i want you to do.Copy !req
134. I want you to stand
upside downCopy !req
135. With your head
in this bucket full
of flavored gelatin.Copy !req
136. Then i'm gonna time you
and see how long you
can hold your breath.Copy !req
137. Well, you could have got
orange-flavored gelatin.Copy !req
138. I didn't have
orange-flavored
gelatin,Copy !req
139. So you get frutti tutti.Copy !req
140. What if i can't hold
my breath that long?Copy !req
141. Well, the minute
you feel you can't
do it anymore,Copy !req
142. Just click
your heels together,
and i'll help you out.Copy !req
143. Well, it sounds like nothing
could possibly go wrong.Copy !req
144. Let's do it!
All right.Copy !req
145. Here we go.Copy !req
146. Ahhhhh! There you go.Copy !req
147. That's 5 seconds.
All right, keep going.Copy !req
148. Hello?Copy !req
149. Man, i don't feel
like buying no...Copy !req
150. O.K. Oh.Copy !req
151. Yeah.Copy !req
152. Why, yes, 19.95
does sound like
a pretty good deal.Copy !req
153. Oh. O.K.Copy !req
154. And you're gonna
throw in the magic
dicing wand at no
extra cost?Copy !req
155. Oh, now, that's special.Copy !req
156. Yeah, o.K.
And it slices
through a boneCopy !req
157. As easily
as slicing bread.Copy !req
158. Hold on.Copy !req
159. Oh, that's...
Wow. Man, that's
something special.Copy !req
160. Hey, hey, kel,Copy !req
161. You ought
to see what's...Copy !req
162. Hold on a second.Copy !req
163. Kel? Come on, buddy.Copy !req
164. Air, air, air!Copy !req
165. Who loves air?Copy !req
166. Kel loves air.Copy !req
167. Is it true?Copy !req
168. Oh, yes, i do, i do.Copy !req
169. Oooohhhhh!Copy !req
170. Oh, this is awful.Copy !req
171. Oh, no, it's o.K.
I'm all right.Copy !req
172. No, not that.Copy !req
173. I gotta think
of something else
for you to do.Copy !req
174. Ready?Copy !req
175. I think so.Copy !req
176. Go.Copy !req
177. Oh! Oh! Oh!Copy !req
178. Ow!Copy !req
179. hey?Copy !req
180. How're you feeling?Copy !req
181. Oh!Copy !req
182. Now, kel, if you can lift
that 100-pound block
with just your tongue,Copy !req
183. We're sure to win.Copy !req
184. Are you ready?Copy !req
185. Well, then,
lift, kel, lift!Copy !req
186. Uh... K—k—kel?Copy !req
187. Maybe you should stop.Copy !req
188. Kenan, i don't know
about this.Copy !req
189. I mean,
it looks painful.Copy !req
190. Kel, it's just a little
cantaloupe that i'm gonna
slingshot at very high speed
at your gut.Copy !req
191. Stop being such a wimp.Copy !req
192. But...
Ready?Copy !req
193. Go!Copy !req
194. Whoo!Copy !req
195. Missed me!Copy !req
196. Kenan?Copy !req
197. Hey, chris. Did you know
this milk was past
its expiration date?Copy !req
198. Oh, well, maybe
it's still o.K.Copy !req
199. Let me see.Copy !req
200. Ohhhh!Copy !req
201. Well, maybe it still
tastes o.K.Copy !req
202. Sharyla, can you
take all the milk off
the shelves, please?Copy !req
203. I'm gonna go to the back room
for a while.Copy !req
204. Hi, kenan. Hi, kel.Copy !req
205. Ooh.Copy !req
206. What are you doing?Copy !req
207. What does it look like?
Kel is sitting half-nakedCopy !req
208. On a big block of ice,
and i'm timing him.Copy !req
209. Kenan, i can't feel my butt.Copy !req
210. Why would you wanna
feel your butt?Copy !req
211. Kel, this may seem
like an odd question,Copy !req
212. But why are you sitting
on a big block of ice?Copy !req
213. S—so we can win tickets
to go see the bulls.Copy !req
214. That's right.Copy !req
215. Macho mike and funk 107Copy !req
216. Are having a big contest
this saturday,Copy !req
217. And whoever shows up
and does the craziest,
wackiest stuntCopy !req
218. Gets courtside seats
to the bulls.Copy !req
219. Courtside seats!
I gotta get me some
of this action.Copy !req
220. How're you doing, kel?Copy !req
221. Good. Keep going.
Just another half hour.Copy !req
222. Ah, good, kenan. I was just
coming back here to tell youCopy !req
223. That someone needed to sit
on the giant block of ice,Copy !req
224. But i see, as usual,
you've already got it covered.Copy !req
225. Oh, my name is sharyla,
and all i'm clever and witty,Copy !req
226. And i make fun of people.Copy !req
227. Oh, kenan, i can't
do it anymore!Copy !req
228. Let's just—let's just
forget about it,
all right?Copy !req
229. We're never
gonna win that
bulls contest.Copy !req
230. You guys aren't really
in that stupid contest, are you?Copy !req
231. Cold! You've got
as much a chanceCopy !req
232. Of winning those ticketsCopy !req
233. As you do at teaching
kel here to fly.Copy !req
234. That's it! That's exactly
what we're gonna do.Copy !req
235. Kel's gonna fly!Copy !req
236. Thank you so much, sharyla.Copy !req
237. Oh, leaving so soon?Copy !req
238. I'm sorry.Copy !req
239. Kenan, but...
What are you
talking about, man?
I can't fly.Copy !req
240. But you will.Copy !req
241. With this stunt,
there's no way
we can lose.Copy !req
242. Oh, but it sounds
crazy and dangerous.Copy !req
243. Exactly.Copy !req
244. Oh!Copy !req
245. Damn.Copy !req
246. Whoo!Copy !req
247. Ah! Perfect day to fly.Copy !req
248. Come on, kel.Copy !req
249. Kenan, why do i have
to be shot out
of a cannon?Copy !req
250. Well, how else
do you expect
to fly?Copy !req
251. I don't know. Um...Copy !req
252. Squawk!Copy !req
253. Now, relax, kel.Copy !req
254. It's real simple.Copy !req
255. All we're gonna do
is shove you down
into the cannon hole.Copy !req
256. I'm gonna light the fuse,
the cannon's gonna explode,Copy !req
257. You go flying,
then we're off to
see the chicago bulls!Copy !req
258. Wait a minute, kenan.
That sounds dangerous.Copy !req
259. You could burn your hair
lighting that fuse.Copy !req
260. That's a risk
i'm willing to take.Copy !req
261. Let's do it!
All right, buddy.Copy !req
262. Hello, pittsburgh!Copy !req
263. Ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
264. Hello, chicago!Copy !req
265. I'm macho mike.Copy !req
266. Are you ready to go bonkers
for the bulls?Copy !req
267. Yeah!Copy !req
268. I kind of pictured macho mike
looking a little different.Copy !req
269. You mean like... Macho?Copy !req
270. No, i just thought
he'd have darker hair.Copy !req
271. All right. Let's get this party
started correctly.Copy !req
272. Our first contestant
is gretchen shaftner.Copy !req
273. Gretchen
is gonna twist herselfCopy !req
274. Into the shape of a pretzel!Copy !req
275. Oh, my. Oh, my.Copy !req
276. I wonder if she can twist
herself into the shape
of an ice cream sundae?Copy !req
277. Maybe she can
twist herself into
the shape of a brain,Copy !req
278. And we can put it
in your head.Copy !req
279. She can't fit in my head.Copy !req
280. Hey, guys. Look who went
bonkers for the bulls.Copy !req
281. Chris?Copy !req
282. What you done
to yourself?Copy !req
283. Well, i thought i'd do
something really crazy
to get those tickets,Copy !req
284. So i died my hair pink
and had my eyelid pierced.Copy !req
285. And what's your name
and talent?Copy !req
286. I'm chris potter,
and I...Copy !req
287. I had my hair died pink
and my eyebrow pierced.Copy !req
288. Uh, yeah.
So what's your talent?Copy !req
289. I'm just here to watch.Copy !req
290. Have you signed up?Copy !req
291. Yup. Kel here's gonna be
shot out of a cannon,Copy !req
292. And then we're gonna
win those tickets.Copy !req
293. Kenan, you realize, of course,
that only the personCopy !req
294. Who performs the stunt
wins the ticket.Copy !req
295. What?Copy !req
296. Yeah. They're giving away
2 separate ticketsCopy !req
297. To the 2 people who perform
the 2 wackiest stunts.Copy !req
298. Is he telling the truth?Copy !req
299. That's right.Copy !req
300. Aaggghhh! Oh,
what if i performCopy !req
301. A stunt with kel.Copy !req
302. Then can we win
the tickets?Copy !req
303. Yes.Copy !req
304. Aw, man!Copy !req
305. Now i gotta do
the stunt with you!Copy !req
306. Yay!Copy !req
307. No, not yay.Copy !req
308. I don't wanna be shotCopy !req
309. Out of a cannon.
It's dangerous.Copy !req
310. You weren't worried
about it being
dangerous before.Copy !req
311. That's when only
you were doing it.Copy !req
312. Ouch! Help, i'm stuck.Copy !req
313. Wow! Somebody put some mustard
on that gal.Copy !req
314. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
315. O.K. Our next contestant
is burton nepshure.Copy !req
316. Burton is gonna dive
from this 30-foot platformCopy !req
317. Into a pool filled
with pudding.Copy !req
318. Youza!Copy !req
319. You know, maybe we
should just quit.Copy !req
320. No, never, man.Copy !req
321. We just gotta figure out
a way that we can both
do this stunt.Copy !req
322. I got it.Copy !req
323. See, you just stand
in front of the cannon,Copy !req
324. And when it shoots me out,
i grab you real quick
and take you with me.Copy !req
325. I was trying to think
of a plan that might
actually work.Copy !req
326. Man, we gotta think
of something.Copy !req
327. Man, we're both
just gonna have to
get in that cannon.Copy !req
328. We both can't fit
in that cannon!Copy !req
329. We have to try!Copy !req
330. Kenan, no, i don't
think it's a good...
Oh! Ow!Copy !req
331. I'm sorry.Copy !req
332. Well, maybe if
i can shove you
down far enough,Copy !req
333. I can fit on top.Copy !req
334. Kenan, it's not working!Copy !req
335. Oh, man! Well,
come on out.
Come on.Copy !req
336. Man, we gotta think
of something.Copy !req
337. O.K., burton.
Are you ready?Copy !req
338. Yes.Copy !req
339. O.K. 10... 9... 8...Copy !req
340. 7... 6...Copy !req
341. Ooh!Copy !req
342. Did you see that guy
almost hit the pudding?Copy !req
343. Kel, if he wins a ticket,
then that means we don't
win a ticket.Copy !req
344. Oh.Copy !req
345. Boo! I hope you lose.
Look at you! Boo!Copy !req
346. Oh, i fell in the pudding
and hurt myself.Copy !req
347. Kel, stop playing, man.
We gotta think of something.Copy !req
348. I can't think
of anything.Copy !req
349. You don't say.Copy !req
350. I do say.Copy !req
351. Stop it.Copy !req
352. I got it!Copy !req
353. We'll both stick one
leg apiece inside
the cannon,Copy !req
354. Then it'll shoot us off.Copy !req
355. We're gonna fly right
into our courtside seats.Copy !req
356. Real genius!Copy !req
357. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
358. Our next wacky stunster
is yudell gibbs.Copy !req
359. This is gonna be great!Copy !req
360. Yudell is gonna shoot himself
out of a cannon!Copy !req
361. Yeah, man, now, that's cool.
Boy, i can't wait to see that.Copy !req
362. He's gonna shoot himself
out of a cannon.Copy !req
363. Kel! That's not cool, man.
He's gonna be shot out
of a cannon.Copy !req
364. That's our stunt.Copy !req
365. So, like,
if he wins,
we get to go
to the bulls game?Copy !req
366. No, huckleberry!Copy !req
367. Huckleberry.Copy !req
368. O.K., there's no time
to panic. No time to panic.Copy !req
369. You guys are up next.Copy !req
370. Aaaaggghhhh! Time to panic.
Time to panic!Copy !req
371. Aaaaagggggghhhhhhhh!Copy !req
372. Aw, man! That could
have been us.Copy !req
373. Oh, we gotta think
of something.Copy !req
374. All right. Our next contestant
is kel kimball!Copy !req
375. And kenan rockmore.
I'm doing the stunt
with him.Copy !req
376. All right. So, you 2 areCopy !req
377. To be shot out of a cannon.
Gee, that's original.Copy !req
378. No, no, no. We're not gonna
shoot out of the cannon.
We're not going out
of the cannon.Copy !req
379. What are you gonna do?Copy !req
380. What are we gonna do?Copy !req
381. I'm thinking, i'm thinking.
Mr. Macho, mike...Copy !req
382. Yes, yes.Copy !req
383. Would it be possible for us
to come up a little later?Copy !req
384. No, sorry. You either go now,Copy !req
385. Or you can forget about winning
those bulls tickets!Copy !req
386. So what stunt are
you guys gonna do?Copy !req
387. Um... Um...Copy !req
388. We're gonna eat a bike.Copy !req
389. Yeah, that's right,
tell 'em. Eat a bike.Copy !req
390. Hey, hey!Copy !req
391. Excuse me. Did macho mikeCopy !req
392. Hear you correctly?Copy !req
393. You 2 are gonna eat a bicycle?Copy !req
394. That's right.Copy !req
395. I don't wanna eat
a bicycle.Copy !req
396. Kel, start eating.Copy !req
397. My stomach hurts.Copy !req
398. Me too.Copy !req
399. Maybe it was all that
cotton candy we ate.Copy !req
400. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
401. Or maybe our stomachs hurt
because we ate a whole bicycle!Copy !req
402. At least you didn't
eat the bell.Copy !req
403. Oh, how do you boys feel?Copy !req
404. Like we ate
a whole bicycle!Copy !req
405. Well, at least you won!Copy !req
406. Yeah, but we're too sick
to go to the game.Copy !req
407. Oh, kenan, and your father
and i, we just feel awful
about having to take
your tickets.Copy !req
408. Ooh, we're going
to the bulls game!Copy !req
409. Rockmore and jordan
slam dunk!Copy !req
410. Roger!Copy !req
411. What?Copy !req
412. Oh. Sorry.Copy !req
413. Well, come on.
We don't wanna be late.Copy !req
414. Come on. Let's go.Copy !req
415. Aaaaaggggghhhhhh!Copy !req
416. Courtside seats.Copy !req
417. Bye!Copy !req
418. And remind me to never
eat a bike again.Copy !req
419. Ugh! Kenan, you got
something in your teeth.Copy !req
420. Ooooohhhhhhh!Copy !req
421. Man!Copy !req
422. Thank you.Copy !req
423. Wow. Thank you all
for checking out
the show.Copy !req
424. Now, kel, now, kel.Copy !req
425. Besides us getting sick
and me owing chris
a new bike,Copy !req
426. This episode didn't
turn out so bad
after all.Copy !req
427. I was thinking.
How about next episodeCopy !req
428. We just stay home
and watch television?Copy !req
429. But that's too safe.Copy !req
430. What kind
of mischief
can we get intoCopy !req
431. If we just sit
around watching tv?Copy !req
432. Exactly.Copy !req
433. Kel, we have
a responsibility
to our audienceCopy !req
434. To get into as much
trouble and mischief
as possible, right?Copy !req
435. That's not necessarily so.Copy !req
436. I mean, c—c—come on.Copy !req
437. Do you guys really wanna
see me and kenan get in
so much trouble? Come on.Copy !req
438. How do you guys know what
the audience wants to see?Copy !req
439. Kel, that is
the audience, man.Copy !req
440. And you know what?Copy !req
441. I think that i know
a way that we can
provide mischief
and troubleCopy !req
442. And satisfy
the audienceCopy !req
443. And get chris a new bike
all at the same time!Copy !req
444. No!Copy !req
445. Yeah!Copy !req
446. Kel, go grab
something...Copy !req
447. Something else,
and a third thing,Copy !req
448. And meet me there.
Come on, nickname.Copy !req
449. Kenan, where am i gonna find
a third thing?Copy !req
450. Kenan, why are you so vague?Copy !req
451. Kenan!Copy !req
452. Aaaaaaaaawwwwwwww!Copy !req
453. Here it goes!Copy !req
454. Captioning made possible
by nickelodeonCopy !req
455. And the u.S. Department
of educationCopy !req
456. Captioning performed by
the national captioning
institute, inc.Copy !req