Kenan & Kel 1x10

Directed by Howard Storm

Al Arasim as Referee • Melissa Kolaks as Customer • Max Ortiz Jr. as Supermarket Patron • Dan Schneider as Angus

It's time for the grocery-packing contest between Rigby's and Angus's--and thanks to Kenan and Kel's plan, victory is in the bag. Or is it?

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - Aww, here it goes.

2. [cheering, applauding]

3. - Y'all. Y'all. What's up?

4. Right there, y'all havin' fun?

5. Yeah! Yeah!

6. - Thank you.

7. Oh, no, no, no.

8. No, you guys are the special ones, okay?

9. Thank you so much.

10. - Oh, yeah! - You know.

11. - Love it! - All right.

12. My name is Kenan and this is Kel.

13. Kel, why don't you introduce the show, bro?

14. - Okay, okay, but first I gotta tell 'em about

15. this movie I saw last night. - What?

16. - All right. Okay.

17. The movie was called "Fat Baby Jake."

18. - Uh-huh.

19. - What kinda movie is called "Fat Baby Jake"?

20. Bro, just introduce the show. - Hold on. All right.

21. Now the movie was about this big old baby named "Jake."

22. - Uh-Huh.

23. - Oh, please just start the show.

24. - In a minute.

25. So, this bad guy comes to town, right,

26. and he's sellin' illegal diapers,

27. so the police call in "Fat Baby Jake" to get him,

28. uh-huh, but see, Fat Baby Jake is so big,

29. he can't get out his crib, so the police have to

30. grease him down with blue cheese dressing,

31. and, you see, and that Fat Baby Jake's

32. tryin' to get out, he's tryin' to get down—

33. - Hold on.

34. Hello?

35. - Would you please just try to stay with the program!

36. - Sorry. All right, now,

37. tonight's show starts out like this...

38. see, what happens is—

39. - Excuse me. Hello?

40. Hey, what's up?

41. Really?

42. Oh, well, that's cool.

43. Yeah. Yeah. We'll be there.

44. All right. Later.

45. Come on, Kel.

46. You and I got some business to take care of.

47. - K-Kenan. C-Come back.

48. Kenan, let me tell you more about the fat baby,

49. the fat baby movie, the obese baby.

50. K-Kenan?

51. Aww, here it goes!

52. - Would you like the last piece of cake, Mrs. Dawson?

53. - Well...

54. - You'd better take it before I do.

55. - I'd feel guilty taking the last piece.

56. - Oh, please, go ahead. - You talked me into it.

57. - The funniest part was when you told the lady—

58. - Oh!

59. Ahem, boys, we have guests.

60. - The Dawsons took us to the opera tonight.

61. - Oooh!

62. - Mr. and Mrs. Dawson, this is Kenan's best friend Kel.

63. - What's up?

64. - Well, many airplanes are up.

65. - Huh? - What?

66. - You asked me what's up.

67. I said, "Many airplanes are up."

68. See, I work at the airport.

69. That's an airport joke.

70. - Uh, I... I don't get it. - Well, uh...

71. Kel and I are gonna head upstairs now.

72. We got some stuff to do. - Okay.

73. - Nice meetin' y'all.

74. - All right. - Bye-bye. That's all.

75. - Good to meet y'all. Later. All right.

76. - Oh, sweetie, did you find the restroom okay?

77. - Oh, yes, thank you.

78. - Hello. - Hi.

79. - Kenan, this is Amy,

80. Mr. and Mrs. Dawson's daughter.

81. - Oh, uh... nice... grip.

82. - Uh, you, too.

83. - Kenan. - Huh?

84. - Let go. - Oh. Oh. Oh.

85. - Well, seein' that you're outta cake,

86. I guess we'd better be goin'.

87. - Can't you stay a little longer?

88. - No.

89. - Well, we'll walk you to your car.

90. - Whatever.

91. - Uh, uh, Amy? - Uh-huh?

92. - So, y'all went to the opera tonight.

93. - Yeah. - Ew, that must've been awful.

94. - No, I love the opera. - Oh! Me, too.

95. You know, I love opera with...

96. with the people and the singing.

97. - Oh, really? So, what's your favorite opera?

98. - Oh, you know, the one where the man be singin' like...

99. - What's the hold-up? Why is he bellowing?

100. - Oh, Kenan was just singing a piece

101. from one of my favorite operas. - I don't care.

102. Amy, we're waiting for you. Come along.

103. - I'll be right there, Daddy.

104. Sorry about my dad. - Oh, no... he's delightful.

105. - MR. Amy!

106. - You'd better go before that man bursts into flames,

107. and he'll be sizzling and crackling.

108. - You're so funny. - Oh, well, you know...

109. I do enjoy the comedy. - Well, bye.

110. - All right, bye. Take care now.

111. Remember that... ♪ I love you

112. - Aw, son, we love you, too.

113. - That's sweet, boys.

114. Well, Roger, come on, let's get this room cleaned up.

115. - Yeah. - So, uh, Pop?

116. - Hm? - Hold old is Amy?

117. - About your age—15 or so. - Oh.

118. Now, uh, you wouldn't happen to know

119. if she has like a boyfriend

120. or a husband or something like that, right?

121. - Kenan, that girl is my boss' daughter.

122. You just stay away from her.

123. - But I'm a nice young man. - I know that, son.

124. It has nothing to do with you. It's her nasty father.

125. Kenan, Mr. Dawson's not a nice man,

126. he's mean to everyone,

127. and I don't want him being mean to you.

128. - Yeah, but, Pop—

129. - You just stay away from Amy.

130. - Yes, sir.

131. Kenan and Amy Rockmore. Oh...

132. - Amy. Amy. Amy. Amy. Amy. A—

133. Amy. Amy. Amy. Amy. Amy.

134. What is this?

135. - It's about Amy.

136. - Ya think?

137. You must have written "Amy" a thousand times.

138. Why?

139. - With who?

140. - Well, if you're in love with some girl named Amy,

141. why don't you just ask her out?

142. - Because I've been forbidden. - By who?

143. - His daddy!

144. Woo!

145. - Well, you should do what your father tells you.

146. - I agree with Chris.

147. - Oh, in that case, I must be wrong.

148. Oh, in that case,

149. I must be wrong.

150. - Look, I'm gonna ask Amy out.

151. That's all there is to it.

152. - But, Kenan, your dad said— - Oh, come on.

153. My dad is married.

154. He doesn't understand

155. what it feels like to love a woman.

156. Come along, Kel.

157. - Where are we going?

158. - To get me a woman.

159. - Mom? Dad? Kyra?

160. - I don't think anybody's home.

161. - Good. Now where is it?

162. - Hey, what are you lookin' for?

163. - My dad's telephone book.

164. I gotta look up the Dawsons' phone number

165. so I can call Amy.

166. - Hey, you got a message. - Just hit "play."

167. - Hello, it's Grandma!

168. Kenan, you left your teddy bear at my house Sunday.

169. Aw, your teddy bear misses you.

170. - You about to be missin' some teeth.

171. - Honey, this is Roger.

172. Mr. Dawson says I gotta work late again.

173. I'll tell you what—

174. that Dawson is a nasty, evil, bull-headed,

175. unreasonable jerk!

176. Oh, well, I'd better get back to work

177. before the idiot comes back!

178. Bye-bye, sweetheart.

179. - [answering machine beeps three times]

180. - Ooh, you'd better leave Mr. Dawson's daughter alone.

181. - Aha! Here's my dad's address book.

182. Let me see...

183. Daffle. Dagman. Dawson! That's it.

184. Amy Dawson.

185. - Kenan? Kenan? What are you doing?

186. - I'm not ready to call her yet.

187. I need to practice.

188. Here, you be Amy.

189. - Who are you gonna be?

190. - Me! I'll be me.

191. - Oh, okay, cool.

192. Ring!

193. Ring!

194. Ring!

195. Ring!

196. Man, pick up the shoe!

197. - Okay.

198. Hello-o-o-o!

199. - Uh, yes, yes, is this Amy?

200. - Yes, it is.

201. - Oh, hi, this is Kenan.

202. - Oh! Kenan! Wait, wait! Let me get off the other shoe.

203. Girl, guess who on the other line?

204. Oh, yeah! It's Kenan!

205. Woo! You know, the one with the little dreadlocks and stuff.

206. All right! Girl, get off! Get off!

207. Bye! Bye!

208. I'm back.

209. - Yeah, uh...

210. Amy, would you like to go out with me some time?

211. - Uh... no.

212. - Come on, man!

213. - Sorry. Sorry.

214. Oh, sure, Kenan. I'd love to go out with you.

215. - Great. So, I guess we'll like

216. go to the movies or something.

217. - Oh, Kenan, you animal!

218. - Yeah, so I guess it's a date.

219. - Woo! I can't wait!

220. I'm gonna dress all pretty and I'm gonna wear

221. daisies, too, and you're gonna be lookin' at me and—

222. - All right, man! All right!

223. Hang up! - Oh.

224. Hey, I think you're ready.

225. - I think you're ready for the psychiatrist, too.

226. - The psychiatrist? What you talkin' about?

227. - Shhh, it's ringing.

228. - MR. This is the Dawson residence.

229. No one is here to take your call.

230. Leave your name and number at the beep tone.

231. We'll call you back when we have time.

232. - It's an answering machine.

233. What should I do?

234. - I don't want it. No, no, take—

235. Why don't you just leave a message?

236. - I didn't practice leaving a message.

237. - Well, I think you're better off.

238. Why you wanna date that girl?

239. Her dad's a mean, horrible jerk.

240. - My father's the one that thinks

241. he's a mean, horrible jerk.

242. You know, I mean, one time my dad said

243. that Mr. Dawson was so dumb,

244. he couldn't find his face—with both hands.

245. - How can your dad work for someone who's so mean and dumb?

246. - Oh, man, Pop said he's gonna have

247. Mr. Dawson's job before too long.

248. He's just waitin' till he— - Got his job. Right, Kenan?

249. What's wrong, Kenan? Kenan?

250. Kenan? What's wrong, Kenan?

251. Kenan? Kenan? - Stop sayin' my name.

252. - Why, Kenan? - The phone.

253. You didn't hang up the phone.

254. - So? - So?

255. Everything we just said was recorded

256. on the Dawsons' answering machine.

257. - I'm sorry!

258. Um, I didn't... Oh, forgive me!

259. Please don't fire my daddy. I'm so sorry.

260. Look, this isn't even Kenan.

261. You know, my name is, uh...

262. um...

263. Fernando.

264. Fernando Montalban.

265. I don't even know nobody named Kenan.

266. I just... oh...

267. - Smooth.

268. - Kenan, wait! What are you doing? Kenan?

269. - We've gotta stop the Dawsons from hearing that message.

270. - How are you gonna do that? - I don't know.

271. Wait.

272. I got an idea.

273. Look, all we got to do is go over to their house,

274. and replace their answering machine tape with a new one.

275. - Well, good luck. Let me know how it turns out.

276. - Oh, no, you're gonna know how it turns out,

277. 'cause you're gonna help me.

278. - Aw, I knew I'd end up in a predicament.

279. - Look, man, I promise. Nothing bad's gonna happen.

280. - Nahhh!

281. - Kel, come on, we don't have time for you to say... nahhh!

282. Right? Now, listen.

283. You get a fresh answering machine tape

284. and meet me at Amy's house.

285. Here's the address.

286. I've gotta get over there before they get home.

287. Hurry up! - But... but, Kenan...

288. where am I gonna find a fresh answering...

289. Kenan? Where am I gonna find a fresh answering machine tape?

290. Aw, I'm talkin' to myself.

291. - They're not home.

292. - It's just me! - It's just me!

293. - Shhh! Did you bring the tape?

294. - Yes. - Good.

295. Nobody's home. - You sure?

296. - Yeah. Look through that window up there.

297. Do you see anything yet? - I can't reach. Oh!

298. - Get off of me! Get off!

299. Oh, no.

300. - Don't worry. I can fix that.

301. - I can't fix that.

302. - Did you have to rip the light off the wall?

303. - Sorry.

304. - Mail slot.

305. I can see their answering machine.

306. Oh, the light's still blinking.

307. That means they haven't listened to the message yet.

308. - Quick, let me see. - What was that?

309. - My watch fell off. Oh!

310. - We can't let the Dawsons find your watch.

311. - Okay. - What?

312. - I can get it.

313. I can stick my gum on a stick or something and fish it out.

314. - Okay, this better work, man.

315. I can put it on this nozzle right here.

316. - Just hurry up.

317. Hurry up!

318. ♪ Da da da da da da

319. - Oh! - What?

320. - The gum fell off. - Get me another.

321. Hey, the hose is stuck. Help me yank the hose.

322. - There we are.

323. - What's that noise? - I don't know.

324. - Something's goin' on in there.

325. - What? - The hose is on!

326. It's stuck!

327. Oh, now I'm stuck! Turn off the water.

328. Turn off the water!

329. - Kenan? - Turn off the water!

330. - Kenan? - Turn off—

331. - What are we gonna do?

332. - Um, grab those hedge clippers.

333. Now get it outta here.

334. - Punk! Ow!

335. Why'd you fling that hose at me?

336. - I'm sorry. You okay? All right.

337. Soaking. Soaking wet, Kel.

338. The chairs, the draperies, all the moisture.

339. Oh, it's wrong. It's just wrong.

340. Everything is just wrong.

341. - I've got an idea. - What?

342. - Let's run away! - No, we can't run away.

343. - But, Kenan— - No, we're not leaving.

344. We're gonna stay here till the Dawsons get home

345. so we can switch the tape.

346. - I liked seeing Grandma.

347. - I wish we could have stayed a little longer.

348. - One night at your mother's house is enough.

349. What in the world?

350. Newspaper!

351. - Ya punk.

352. Wake up, Kel. - Huh?

353. - Wake up!

354. We've... we've been out here all night.

355. - Where did all of this water come from?

356. - A pipe must have burst.

357. Oh, no, the mail's all wet.

358. - Well, what about my watch?

359. - Your watch is the last thing I'm worried about.

360. - But I want my watch.

361. - And whose watch is this?

362. - Maybe I can reach it with my arm.

363. - Okay. Come on.

364. - Hey, do you believe the Dawsons haven't come home yet?

365. What the...?

366. - Kenan? - Hm?

367. - Was that car here in the driveway last night?

368. - No.

369. Oh! Oh! Oh!

370. Hey. Hey.

371. What's going on, y'all? Y'all remember me?

372. - Kenan? - Hey, Amy.

373. - What are you doing here?

374. - Mind if I come in? - You are in!

375. - Oh, well, uh...

376. Y'all remember Kel. - I got your paper.

377. Ew, y'all couch is all wet.

378. - Young man? Hm?

379. - What is the meaning of this?

380. - The meaning of what, sir?

381. - The meaning of you putting your arm through our door—

382. and feelin' me.

383. - It's funny, really.

384. - Well, go ahead— make me laugh!

385. - You know, we all wanna laugh.

386. Why don't you come on... come on in and have a seat?

387. Have a sit down.

388. - Kenan, what's going on?

389. - Well, I'll get to that part, you know?

390. You'll have to sit on the table,

391. 'cause everything is wet.

392. Everything is wet. Oh, that's wet, too.

393. I'm sorry.

394. Well, uh, it all started a long time ago,

395. when I was just a little thing.

396. "Little Kenan" is what they called me.

397. See? 'Cause I was smaller then than I am now.

398. So, anyway, my daddy loves you.

399. Anyway, like I was saying, there was this one day,

400. I will never forget this day.

401. This is the funny part right here.

402. - Oh, yeah?

403. I was wondering when when I was gonna go—Ha. Ha.

404. - Soon, oh, soon. Real soon.

405. See, it was a dark and stormy night,

406. or day, whichever one y'all prefer.

407. - But, uh, see...

408. it was a stormy evening when I came to be on this—

409. Done! - And that's it!

410. - Well, we heard no story.

411. You know, you're right.

412. I gotta work on that— comin' up with a better story.

413. Come along, Kel.

414. - Nice meetin' ya.

415. All righty, then, if we could just

416. forget this whole thing ever happened.

417. Bye-bye, now. - Hold it!

418. I don't know what's going on here,

419. but I'm gonna get your father on the telephone.

420. - You really don't wanna do that, sir.

421. Y'all take care now. All right?

422. - Stay where you are!

423. - Hey, you can check your messages, if you want.

424. - Thank you very much.

425. - Hello, It's Grandma! - That's not Grandma.

426. - Kenan, you left your teddy bear at my house Sunday.

427. - What is your grandmother doing calling our machine?

428. - What tape did you put in that answering machine?

429. - I used the tape that was in your answering machine at home.

430. - Why?

431. - Honey, this is Roger. - That's your father.

432. - Mr. Dawson says I've gotta work late again.

433. I'll tell you what—

434. that Dawson is a nasty, evil, bull-headed,

435. unreasonable jerk!

436. Oh, well, I'd better get back to work

437. before the idiot comes back!

438. Bye-bye, sweetheart.

439. Kenan...

440. - Uh, Amy, maybe I could call you again later,

441. you know, after your house dries up?