KAOS 1x3

1. Have you got a bathroom?

2. - I think you left your keys— - Where's your bathroom?

3. Oh, sure. Yeah. Right through there.

4. The Furies are as old as the gods.

5. Older, even.

6. They roam the Earth, delivering justice where they feel it has been denied.

7. Quite subjective.

8. Only those they pursue can see or hear them.

9. Remember... Remember what you did.

10. Remember...

11. Hey, Terry.

12. Please.

13. Please. Are you tired?

14. Well, you know how to get rid of us, don't you?

15. No, Terry.

16. Dude?

17. Dude?

18. Everything all right in there?

19. Dude?

20. Fuck! Dude!

21. - Help! Who's next?

22. Someone help!

23. - Her. - This will be fun.

24. Okay. So far, you've met two significant humans.

25. Now for the third.

26. Blessed Olympia.

27. I said we'd come back to her.

28. To understand Ari's significance,

29. we need to rewind to the beginning of that day.

30. Ari is a murderer. Well, by accident.

31. She had a twin brother, Glaucus.

32. She had rolled on top of him in her sleep when they were babies.

33. Happy birthday.

34. She suffocated him to death.

35. Ari's mother had never accepted her son was gone,

36. so, in many ways, he wasn't.

37. Happy birthday, ma'am.

38. What?

39. I said, "Happy birthday."

40. It's a busy one, isn't it?

41. Uh, yeah.

42. How's the monument?

43. Oh, I... I would go as so far as to say... majestic, ma'am.

44. Would you?

45. - Oh, yes. Yes— "Majestic"?

46. - A wonderful idea of yours. Wasn't it? You like it?

47. - Yes. Oh, yeah— Ari, be quiet!

48. Daedalus is trying to concentrate.

49. Aren't you?

50. Uh, ma'am, I'm okay.

51. Leave us.

52. His nose is too big.

53. I say this every year, Daedalus.

54. She's just the basis. They weren't identical.

55. I'll fetch a picture of my father.

56. Yeah.

57. - Sorry. - No, she's right.

58. Grandpa had a great nose.

59. Beautiful septum. It was really the highlight of his face.

60. Not like... mm.

61. You'd think by my 30s, she would have stopped this.

62. You don't have to do it.

63. Yes, I do.

64. How do you remember Icarus?

65. Oh...

66. Well, you know...

67. I pray.

68. Thank the gods for his Renewal.

69. Yeah. That sounds sane.

70. So, what are you two doing later? After the Olympia.

71. You gonna... tear Heraklion a new one?

72. You know me.

73. I think you should leave this place, Daedalus. You never do.

74. I like it here.

75. What about you, Theseus? What are you thinking?

76. - Take your blazer off? Let's get pissed.

77. Mr. President.

78. Mr. President.

79. Happy birthday, darlin'.

80. You know, every year...

81. I'm staggered you still do this for your mother.

82. Really, I am.

83. I want to.

84. No, you don't.

85. But thank you.

86. Come on, Dad.

87. You know what she refuses every year?

88. It's a birthday present.

89. Well, this year, let's get her to say yes. Come on. Anything you want, it's yours.

90. I promise.

91. Anything.

92. How do I persuade her, huh?

93. It's still a no, but thank you.

94. Come on, Daedalus.

95. Just make a better version of me.

96. Friends, citizens of Krete,

97. Blessed Olympia.

98. As is tradition on this day,

99. let us marvel at the gods' gift to all of us,

100. the miracle of Renewal.

101. We humans are born thanks to the grace of Zeus.

102. And the best of us live our lives in service to the gods.

103. For our obedience to Olympus,

104. our loyalty will beget new life, better life.

105. This is Glaucus's day.

106. And Ari's.

107. For a life well lived means there can be no fear of death.

108. I'm afraid we can't object to the gods or to their festival.

109. I don't object to the gods.

110. I object to their calendar.

111. Have you been drinking?

112. Behold, Agatha of Heraklion,

113. a consenting human sacrifice, willing to die in the name of Olympus,

114. safe in the knowledge that her piety assures her the most glorious Renewal.

115. The soul leaves the body with the blessing of all the gods

116. and returns as a gift to the world in a new and splendid form.

117. There is no death, only Renewal.

118. - Vero. Vero.

119. Today, it is my holy honor

120. to unveil a monument dedicated to our gods.

121. Of course, you know what happens next.

122. Someone was up early this morning.

123. Fuck Minos.

124. And fuck the gods.

125. In the name of Zeus, stand firm.

126. Let nothing distract you,

127. for you know that labor for them is never in vain.

128. Blessed Olympia.

129. Vero.

130. Vero.

131. What the...?

132. What the fuck is that?

133. Oh my god.

134. Is that shit?

135. Uh...

136. Who did this?

137. Who did this?

138. - Mom...

139. Who has desecrated the gods?

140. Who has defied my family?

141. You will be hunted down!

142. You will be punished.

143. Whoa. Okay, whoa.

144. Okay?

145. Let's get this off.

146. Ah...

147. You...

148. You came out screaming when you were born.

149. You know that?

150. Yeah, Ma. I know.

151. You've told me many times.

152. Glaucus was so quiet.

153. So still.

154. - He was actually blue.

155. I was afraid he wouldn't make it, but he was perfect.

156. You entered the world, and you filled it with rage.

157. Unhand me! Fuckin' Trojan scum!

158. Come on!

159. Anyone found harboring the Trojan 7 will be arrested!

160. Fuck the gods!

161. Stay down.

162. - I got him.

163. Hecuba had been the queen of Troy.

164. Andromache was her daughter-in-law.

165. Both their husbands had been butchered in front of them,

166. and Andromache's only child, Astyanax,

167. had been thrown from the city's walls when the Trojans surrendered.

168. They were both very tired.

169. Well?

170. Mr. President, we had no knowledge of this.

171. We're as horrified as you.

172. That monument was built in honor of our gods.

173. A symbol of obedience, of gratitude.

174. A symbol which your people have seen fit to literally shit on.

175. You have dishonored not only the gods,

176. but the country that adopted you and gave you refuge.

177. Excuse me?

178. Please! Tell me. Mother.

179. If you adopted a child,

180. wouldn't you want them to have equal rights?

181. Proper schools? Integration?

182. - Your segregation is for your safety. Oh, come on!

183. So you support this insult to our gods, do you?

184. Sir, of course we don't.

185. Would you like to go to the monument, hitch up your skirts,

186. and add to the mess? Hmm?

187. Perhaps you already did.

188. Excuse me?

189. They call themselves the Trojan 7, or so I'm told.

190. Is that right?

191. We've caught six of them. They're in the labyrinth.

192. We're just lookin' for the leader now.

193. Is that you, old lady?

194. Mr. President, ma'am, I'm utterly grateful

195. for the sanctuary you have given our people in Krete.

196. As I said, we had no knowledge of this prank.

197. Act of terror.

198. The Trojan 7 are young. They're stupid.

199. And I swear to you that I will make sure they are punished fulsomely.

200. But, please, no one was hurt.

201. Where is the seventh? The leader.

202. I assume they've left the city.

203. If the seventh presents himself to me, I will pardon the other six.

204. And if not?

205. Well, you know the punishment.

206. The Minotaur?

207. I press this button,

208. the light on its cage goes from green to red, and it's released.

209. We've yet to meet a survivor.

210. You have until midnight.

211. - But what if I can't— - Theseus!

212. Yes, sir.

213. Ma'am.

214. We're ready for temple.

215. Some of us respect the gods, Hecuba.

216. Good. Wait for it.

217. Now!

218. Mm!

219. So, how are you, really?

220. Hmm?

221. You look terrible.

222. Okay, I got it. Okay.

223. Blessed Olympia.

224. Uh...

225. Not in my... Not in my book, man.

226. - What? Um...

227. - Our monument in Heraklion.

228. Why in...? Why... Why would you think that that's funny?

229. You... That... You're a moron! Don't be a moron.

230. Well, yeah.

231. Why do you give a fuck?

232. I give a fuck because it's blasphemy.

233. They pooped on our... They put poop all over our statue.

234. - So? So?

235. Uh, an example needs to be set.

236. You get it?

237. What, the Trojans? Don't we screw them hard enough already?

238. It's too easy now. Like fucking a corpse.

239. Humans need to be kept on their toes.

240. Because if they're relaxed,

241. and if they enjoy peace for too long,

242. then they're less constructively scared.

243. And if they're less scared, they have less desire to honor us.

244. If they start to feel that blasphemy is without consequence?

245. Man, I think that's real, real dangerous.

246. - Don't you? - True, true, true, but they're humans.

247. Zeus, how are they ever gonna be fucking dangerous to us?

248. Minos is pissed. Leave it to him.

249. Stop embarrassing yourself, man.

250. You need to relax. Huh?

251. Are you... wearing makeup?

252. On your forehead.

253. That's sunscreen. That's sunblock. Do you enjoy your position here?

254. Uh, don't be a dick.

255. Because Dionysus wants a promotion.

256. To what, Captain Chlamydia?

257. He's ambitious.

258. - He could... He could do more.

259. Don't insult me.

260. Believe me, I'd rather not.

261. Oh, this is about your prophecy, isn't it? For fuck sakes.

262. You're paranoid. There is no prophecy.

263. You're king of the gods, man.

264. Go big. Make 'em suffer. Make a statement.

265. Get your city in order.

266. That's a command, not a request.

267. Hello? - He's lost his fucking mind.

268. Look, he thinks he found a wrinkle this morning.

269. He's scared. It'll pass.

270. If he's asked for something, just do it.

271. You know it's easier.

272. Hmm.

273. You.

274. You like to swim, don't you?

275. Huh? No—

276. May speech to the wordless give you comfort.

277. - May Hera cradle you in your mortal pain. - Vero.

278. I really want to fuck Theseus, my bodyguard.

279. And I don't know what to do about the Trojans.

280. May speech to the wordless give you comfort.

281. May the goddess Hera cradle you in your mortal pain.

282. Vero.

283. Well? Spit it out.

284. What have you got?

285. I, uh... I, uh...

286. I, uh... I...

287. I have nothing.

288. Your secret's safe with me, Minos.

289. Why are you here, sir?

290. Well, apart from a turn in this natty little headdress,

291. I wanted to ask what you're planning to do with the Trojans.

292. Well, we have six of them, and a search is out for the seventh. Uh...

293. But I suspect they won't find him.

294. So, at midnight, justice will be served.

295. - With the Minotaur? Yes.

296. Good.

297. Good.

298. Of course.

299. They defiled your monument.

300. Oh, please don't associate me with that piece of crap.

301. It's dreadful. Looks better with the shit.

302. Still, kill them all.

303. I will.

304. Good.

305. Blessed Olympia.

306. Don't be a kiss-ass.

307. We should show them mercy, the Trojans.

308. - Absolutely not. But no one would expect it.

309. You'd have a much more compliant Trojan population.

310. As things are, it can only get worse.

311. People need incentives to behave. They need skin in the game.

312. What about getting to keep their skin? Is that an incentive?

313. You know what I mean, Dad.

314. If the gods choose to punish a people,

315. it does well not to question that choice.

316. Troy was destroyed for a reason.

317. - What reason? They got complacent.

318. They overreached.

319. Why don't we just let the people vote? The Athenians do it.

320. It works.

321. And the people would vote for you. You know that. 'Cause they love you.

322. People can't be trusted to vote for what they need, Ari. Ever.

323. Now, you'll be a great ruler when your time comes,

324. but you have a lot to learn.

325. The gods choose who rules.

326. Do you wish I was Glaucus?

327. What?

328. Do you?

329. No!

330. No.

331. You didn't take your brother's place. He gave it to you.

332. Now, you will be great. I know it.

333. But the Trojans must be punished.

334. Oh god, we've got that fucking concert with Orpheus tonight.

335. Does it never end?

336. What's wrong?

337. Nothing.

338. Nothing.

339. Oh, good luck. Huge fan.

340. - Thank you. Mm.

341. Are you? - No. Couldn't name a song.

342. Then don't go to the concert. - I have to.

343. - No, you don't. - It's the Olympia, Theseus.

344. - Yeah, it's your birthday. - Don't be so stupid.

345. - Okay, well, fuck you. What did you just say?

346. Look, I have two tickets to the Munis.

347. You want to come?

348. - The Munis? - Yeah.

349. You know, we could slip out right now.

350. I could help you blend in so no one would recognize you.

351. You want to take me to the Munis?

352. Yeah.

353. Why? - Because you always do what you're told.

354. You're right.

355. Come on, then.

356. - Do you have a dog? - I had a dog.

357. Did it die in this T-shirt?

358. Shut up. Sorry.

359. No, I like it. I don't like the Satyrs.

360. Yeah, well, you do today.

361. Okay!

362. - God.

363. - Are you ready? - I think so.

364. Don't worry.

365. You're safe.

366. Welcome to the Munis!

367. Fighting today, Carl Crixus of Sparta!

368. And the Amazon, Hippolyta the Second!

369. - Happy birthday.

370. One of them will not see tomorrow!

371. Is she a real Amazon?

372. I think she heard you.

373. In a fair fight, a noble fight, a fight to the death!

374. - Why did you think this would cheer me up? I never said "cheer you up."

375. Do you know what this is for? This is a place for pain.

376. Rage.

377. A place where people can let it go. Thought it'd be good for you.

378. You will be buried with honor and renewed with splendor.

379. In your corners!

380. Remember Glaucus. Remember Glaucus, Ari.

381. - Are you okay?

382. I'm fine. Fine.

383. Let's hear it for Hippolyta the Amazon!

384. I hope you got two coins.

385. Fuck.

386. How about that?

387. You okay?

388. Yeah. I find the Olympia sacrifice hard enough.

389. I don't know why I thought a Munis would be a good idea.

390. Fucking hell.

391. I can't even remember him.

392. Who?

393. - Glaucus. You were a baby.

394. Yeah. But you're meant to be able to feel your twin, right?

395. Even when they've died, and I can't.

396. I fulfilled my prophecy before the age of two.

397. I can't remember a fucking thing about it.

398. Well, what was it?

399. "A line appears, the order wanes, the family falls, and kaos reigns."

400. Take me home, Theseus.

401. Look, I'm sorry. All right?

402. That was a stupid idea.

403. - But I have to ask you something— - I'm gonna be punished.

404. - What? - By the Furies.

405. - Sorry. What are you talking about? - They were at the Munis.

406. But you didn't see them because you can't.

407. - Why would they be coming for you? - I killed my brother, Theseus. My twin.

408. That was not your fault. And, come on, the Furies?

409. They come for murderers, for rapists, for people who fuck their kids.

410. And, crucially, for people who go unpunished.

411. You've punished yourself your entire life.

412. They're not coming for you.

413. They are.

414. And I don't think there's anything I can do about it.

415. What if you saved a life?

416. What?

417. If you could save a life, would you?

418. Of course I would.

419. What are we doing here?

420. I need to show you something.

421. Come on.

422. Come on.

423. Theseus...

424. This is what you can do.

425. Finally.

426. - I hope you brought tobacco.

427. Nax.

428. You know, this is the most undignified I've felt

429. in my entire life.

430. I include in that being hurled off the walls of fucking Troy.

431. That bucket needs emptying.

432. Oh shit.

433. You here to take me to your father?

434. No.

435. - What? - Feed me to the Minotaur?

436. She's here to save you. All of you.

437. Aren't you?

438. You're the seventh Trojan.

439. Nice shirt, by the way.

440. Just so you know, I'm not a coward.

441. I want to turn myself in. It was my stupid idea, the shit.

442. My fault.

443. But the other six refused, and some people,

444. admittedly, for nice reasons, like... love...

445. decided to lock me up to save me from myself.

446. Fuck you.

447. I was referring to my mother as well, baby.

448. Okay.

449. I'll go with you.

450. No...

451. Uh...

452. - No, Ari.

453. Please, listen. Listen, all right?

454. This morning, your Dad, he said that he would give you anything.

455. Ask for him.

456. Come here.

457. I'm sorry I lied to you, Ari.

458. Why did you do it? Hmm?

459. - It's a monument to the gods. - Why have the gods abandoned us?

460. They hate us. I refuse to worship them.

461. My people are fucked.

462. They have nothing. No rights here, no life.

463. We're just surviving. Barely.

464. There are 15,000 of us left, tops. There used to be more than five million.

465. We were the most powerful people in the world,

466. which is probably why everyone takes such delight in our fall.

467. "Hurled off the walls of Troy..."

468. You're Andromache's son, Astyanax.

469. Nax.

470. - I thought you'd died. Everyone did.

471. Fuck. You really set me up.

472. He's the hope, the hope for our people.

473. Yeah. The secret prince.

474. In another world, you and I would make friends at some fucking banquet—

475. Okay, enough.

476. I'm not expecting you to help me. I'm happy to die.

477. - Nax. I am, Mom.

478. My life isn't worth six others.

479. I'll take you to my father, and he'll pardon you.

480. - He won't do that. He will.

481. You're my birthday present.

482. Astyanax? What?

483. Is this some kind of a joke?

484. - Where is he? - In the labyrinth cells, sir.

485. Leave us.

486. I said leave us!

487. You promised me.

488. This morning. You said, "Anything you want."

489. Well, this is what I want.

490. You let them go, all of them.

491. Please.

492. You promised me.

493. - Why? Why this? - I killed Glaucus!

494. Let me save them.

495. Okay.

496. Really?

497. Really.

498. Happy birthday.

499. Love can overpower all reason sometimes.

500. Ari.

501. Ari. Ari, please.

502. Ari, can you stop?

503. - You could have just asked me. - No, I couldn't.

504. - Look, Ari— - It's "ma'am."

505. Ma'am, please.

506. Ari, look. Listen.

507. Ari!

508. What?

509. Thank you.

510. Come on! Get out! Get the fuck out! Come on! Move it!

511. Yeah! Move it!

512. Keep going, man!

513. That's it!

514. Get out! - It's all good.

515. - All good, man. I'm leaving. - It's not, though!

516. - You stupid boy! You stupid boy! - It's okay.

517. - It's okay. Stupid boy!

518. Run!

519. My baby.

520. Run!

521. It's okay, guys.

522. Chill out.

523. It's okay.

524. Well, in a surprise show of mercy, President Minos has released the Trojan 7.

525. Andromache and Astyanax were reunited once more.

526. Astyanax was thought to be dead, and yet he's very much alive.

527. It's a happy day for this beleaguered people.

528. - Poseidon, you little punk.

529. You... palooka prick.

530. Pissant.

531. Hey! Hey.

532. Holy fuck!

533. You like it warm, huh?

534. It's intense.

535. Is that... argan oil?

536. In the shampoo?

537. Uh, yeah.

538. Ooh, goody.

539. Yes, please.

540. Mm.

541. Oh, hurry up, man.

542. Uh...

543. I can explain about the Trojans.

544. My decision.

545. I know. It wasn't what we discussed.

546. There were no—

547. There is no decision, Minos.

548. Not if I tell you to do something.

549. I don't care how much you love your daughter.

550. Remember, you don't bend to love.

551. You do as you're told.

552. Is that clear?

553. It's clear. It's clear.

554. Mm.

555. Good.

556. Conditioner, please.

557. Your hair smells nice. Mm.

558. I try. Mm.

559. This prophecy...

560. - "The family falls." - Oh, please.

561. Don't you start.

562. No, I'm simply sad it includes all of us.

563. 'Cause I'd be quite keen on a prophecy that got rid of just Zeus.

564. I'm sure you would.

565. Mm.

566. Go, go, go, go!

567. Don't move! Police! Stay the fuck down!

568. This is what happens, over and over again,

569. for as long as the gods have ruled.

570. - Get off me! Shut up!

571. Please, no! No!

572. Where there is connection, they divide.

573. Where there is love, they destroy it.

574. - Miss, please. No.

575. You!

576. You did this! You!

577. Your family did this!

578. My son!

579. He's dead!

580. You promised me.

581. It's the will of the gods, Ari.

582. Or would you have me defy them?

583. Hey, Ari.

584. We're here about your brother.