1. Uh-huh. That's it. Right there.
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2. No, it's not.
I think I would know.
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3. Really? When did
you ever tap into bank records?
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4. Do they even have banks
on Thanagar?
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5. Back off. I know what I'm doing.
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6. Don't...
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7. What is it with you? Every time
we're together, you're like this.
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8. I don't know
what you're talking about.
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9. Yes, you do.
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10. Batman, we've got the address.
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11. And our demographics
are growing every week.
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12. More 18-to-30s, more kids...
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13. even more old people
for what that's worth.
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14. So if you want to sell hamburgers
and tacos, we're the ones who can...
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15. You sold airtime to something
called Gwynplaine Entertainment.
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16. What is this?
You can't just sneak in here-
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17. You can't let them have it.
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18. I don't care who you are.
You're not gonna...
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19. Gwynplaine Entertainment
is The Joker.
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20. He goes on in 15 seconds.
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21. Cut the feed.
Just do it, I'll explain later!
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22. Oh, no.
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23. He must've bought time
on the other channels too.
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24. Ah, ah, ah. Don't touch that remote.
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25. I know it's heartbreaking
to have your favorite shows preempted.
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26. But look what you're getting instead:
Me.
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27. And a whole truckload
of mindless violence...
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28. and wanton property damage.
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29. Everything that makes TV great.
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30. So stay tuned,
you won't believe your eyes.
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31. Here's how we do this little tango.
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32. I've tucked away a great big time-bomb
somewhere on the Vegas strip.
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33. Only the Justice League can stop it.
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34. Because if anyone else tries,
I press this.
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35. And, kablooie, no waiting.
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36. Now, I know you want to see
the big bomb-hunt...
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37. from the best possible angle. So...
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38. I've set up hundreds of cameras
all over town.
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39. The League won't be able to burp
without us looking in on them.
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40. And since every good suspense show
has to have a ticking clock, here's mine.
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41. Oh, what were you expecting from me?
A round number?
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42. Oh, our very first remote's coming in.
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43. What's happening up there, cupcake?
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44. I'm over the south end
of the strip, Mr. J...
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45. and it looks like
word got out pretty quick.
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46. The people here are so scared, they're
even willing to go to Los Angeles.
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47. Harl, sorry to interrupt.
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48. But I see one of our stars
approaching the red carpet.
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49. And he's in black, always chic.
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50. But here come the fashion disasters.
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51. I'm surprised their mommies let them out
of the house looking like that.
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52. While they stumble around
trying to find my bomb...
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53. let's see
how the local economy's doing.
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54. Oh, it looks a little slow.
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55. - Ma'am? Ma'am, aren't you scared?
- Of what?
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56. This thing's gotta pay off
sooner or later.
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57. Man, I love this town!
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58. Now back to the boy in blue.
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59. Clueless, as usual.
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60. Wait a minute.
Harley, are you getting this?
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61. Sure am, Mr. J.
It's almost as if he can see it.
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62. See it?
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63. Oh, of course he can see it.
He's got x-ray vision.
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64. Silly me.
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65. - Big one.
- Expecting anything less from The Joker?
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66. Oh, woe is me.
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67. Or woe would be me
except this is Vegas.
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68. So I've got a card or two
up my sleeve. Watch.
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69. Looks like a binary setup.
But I can't tell what chemicals he... Aah!
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70. Ladies and gentlemen,
tonight's extra-special guest stars...
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71. making their world debut,
the Royal Flush Gang.
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72. Jack.
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73. Ten.
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74. King.
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75. And, oh, Queen.
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76. Oh, dear.
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77. It looks like they're not going
to stop the bomb after-
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78. Wait! Him again.
It's always him.
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79. Time for more of that mindless violence
I was talking about, kiddies.
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80. No fair! No fair!
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81. Oh, you're breaking
an old man's heart, kids.
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82. Stand up to them like I would.
If I were there.
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83. And if I had super powers and...
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84. Oh, for Pete's sake,
go back there and beat on them!
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85. That's more like it.
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86. But I'll bet you folks at home
are wondering who these wild cards are.
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87. Let's go up close and personal.
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88. The tale of the Royal Flush Gang
begins in the Arizona desert.
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89. At a secret facility where
five innocent children were taken...
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90. after being snatched
from their families by the government.
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91. They promised to educate the kids,
give them a home.
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92. But they wanted something in return.
Because, you see, each of these kids...
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93. was born with a mysterious power.
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94. Ten feels no pain.
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95. Literally.
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96. And he's every bit as strong
as Stupidman.
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97. King's a real ball of fire.
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98. Jack's just a flexible kind of guy.
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99. Very flexible.
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100. And Queen has
a magnetic personality.
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101. That just leaves Ace.
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102. Poor, lonely Ace.
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103. More on you later, my dear.
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104. The government said
it was protecting them.
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105. But what it really wanted
was to make them into human weapons.
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106. And they would've gotten away
with it too, if not for me...
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107. meddling with the kids.
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108. I made an arrangement
with their headmaster.
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109. He seemed happy enough with it.
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110. And so did the kids.
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111. They were so grateful
for their freedom...
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112. they've stuck to me
like flypaper ever since.
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113. The playing-card thing was something
I thought of off the top of my head.
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114. It made them
into one big, happy family.
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115. The food's a lot better
since we signed on with the J-man.
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116. I like his style.
Joker's a class act.
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117. Don't get me wrong.
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118. These guys give good backup,
but they don't call me King for nothing.
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119. A real genius, that one.
I am the most powerful, and...
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120. One of the most powerful.
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121. Why shouldn't I be in charge?
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122. Maybe I saw a bit of myself
in their psychopathic little faces.
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123. How could I resist?
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124. Now, let's see how Batman's doing.
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125. Will he defuse the bomb
or will he be bat soup?
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126. Gotcha!
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127. We've got trouble. The bomb's a fake.
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128. Ooh! Now it's getting good.
Wouldn't you agree?
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129. - So we just let them go?
For now.
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130. Our first priority
is finding the real bomb.
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131. Just give me a second.
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132. There we go. Found it.
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133. No, wait. There's another one.
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134. Two more. Three.
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135. Twenty-five.
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136. There are 25 bombs.
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137. Surprise! This is where
we change all the rules.
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138. There are 25 of my little party-favors
hidden all over the strip.
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139. And they're set to go off in...
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140. Oh, dear. That's not a lot of time.
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141. Last one's on the main floor
of the Sphinx Hotel.
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142. Split up and take them out.
Stay in communication.
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143. Let's move!
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144. Oh, thrilling, isn't it?
The suspense is killing me.
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145. Of course it's going to be the explosions
that kill them.
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146. The first one's a dummy.
I'm moving on.
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147. I was hoping someone would drown
trying to disarm it.
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148. C'est la vie.
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149. The good news is
it looks like the bat is getting warm.
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150. Getting warm, I said.
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151. He's next to a volcano!
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152. That's enough.
Nobody likes a brown-nose.
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153. While there's a break in the action,
let's see who the oddsmakers favor.
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154. Smart money's all
on your boy, Jack, Mr. J.
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155. Batman has the edge in experience
and weight, I can't help noticing.
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156. I suspect he's indulging
in too many bat doughnuts.
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157. But Jack is younger
and he definitely has the longer reach.
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158. Running out of time, Bats.
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159. I'll stop them.
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160. I wasn't talking about the bombs,
old man.
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161. Tired, grampa?
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162. Much as I hate to miss
any of Batman's whupping...
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163. Flash has found
one of my party favors.
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164. Let's see if he's as stupid as he looks.
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165. This bites.
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166. You'd think the off switch
would have a label on it.
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167. Aah!
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168. I wouldn't do that if I were you.
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169. The bomb's got a motion detector.
If you try to move it, it'll blow.
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170. You have to diffuse it
to take it out of play.
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171. No cheating.
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172. How do I know
you're telling the truth?
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173. Maybe I'm lying. Try me.
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174. Batman, I've got a problem.
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175. You don't say.
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176. I found a bomb.
You gotta talk me through disarming it.
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177. Okay. Remove the lid.
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178. - Already done.
- Don't jump ahead!
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179. - Do exactly as I say.
- I opened it before I called.
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180. Batman, you okay?
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181. Grasp the red metal collar
with both hands. Pull it straight up.
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182. It's magnetized. Don't touch the sides
or it'll blow up the whole block.
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183. - Done.
- Disconnect the following wires in... Aah!
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184. In precisely this order:
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185. Blue, yellow-and-black striped,
red, then black.
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186. Okay. What next?
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187. You're done. Find another one.
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188. I'm on it.
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189. Spoilsport.
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190. What do you say we catch up
to the big blue buffoon?
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191. Out of my way.
You don't know what you're doing.
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192. Yeah, I do.
I'm kicking Superman's butt.
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193. While they duke it out...
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194. let's go over
to Amos Fortune's Casino and Resort...
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195. where Green Lantern
has found another bomb.
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196. I can't believe
he didn't suspect a trap.
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197. See what happens when you
don't watch enough television?
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198. Done yet?
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199. I haven't even started.
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200. Hey, Joan of Arc!
Wanna take me on?
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201. Shouldn't have done that.
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202. Why not put a force field around it
and let it blow?
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203. I don't know if I can contain
an explosion that size.
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204. - Maybe you should let me defuse it.
- Maybe you should shut up!
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205. Phew! Is it just me or is there something
going on between those two?
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206. Will Green Lantern
ever admit to his feelings?
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207. Will Hawkgirl ever stop sublimating her
passions with that big honking mace?
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208. Will true love conquer all?
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209. Not on my show.
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210. John!
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