Joe Pera Talks With You 3x9

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Joe Pera tries his hand at woodworking.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. We never had a choice.

2. We never even realized we had a choice

3. about sitting in chairs until it was too late.

4. If you are a Western person like me,

5. our tendons and muscles have shortened from disuse

6. and our natural resting position,

7. the squat, is gone forever.

8. I guess instead of feeling bad about what I've lost,

9. I should be grateful for what I was given —

10. a big, juicy butt.

11. And consider the choice I do have —

12. What kind of chair I should sit on.

13. In the past year, I've found I could no longer sit still,

14. not in any of the chairs I own or any others I've tried,

15. so I figured I'd try to build my own.

16. This is my first attempt at making a chair

17. so please don't watch as guidance.

18. More like a live-TV motorcycle jump,

19. you can watch to see what goes wrong.

20. Here's my design for the chair I'm making.

21. Just kidding.

22. A joke for the woodworkers watching.

23. They're going to tear me apart in the comments section anyhow,

24. so I figured I'd josh them by suggesting I could make

25. a Sam Maloof rocker.

26. I should really be starting

27. with a cupholder or cutting board.

28. Making a chair on my first go is shooting for the sun.

29. But lately I have been trying a lot more new things,

30. like putting together a party for my girlfriend, Sarah,

31. which went pretty well.

32. For the most part.

33. That's maple.

34. God damn it!

35. Yes! Did you see?

36. I got a strike!

37. ♪ I got a strike

38. That's right! I got it! Go, cowgirl!

39. Oh! Thank you.

40. It fits you. Don't take it off.

41. Okay. Okay. Okay?

42. Wssh, right down. Okay?

43. 'Cause then you get some force on it.

44. Hey! Guys, guys.

45. Ahem! Okay.

46. Sarah, we just wanted to say

47. that we didn't even realize we were looking for another friend,

48. but you opened up our minds to it.

49. And a lot of other weird stuff,

50. like camping gear.

51. Happy birthday, sweetie! Happy birthday!

52. Salut! Salut! Salut!

53. Salut. God damn it!

54. Aagh!

55. Ohh!

56. Ohh!

57. Ohh! Chill out!

58. That way, Country Girl. That way.♪ All night

59. Aah!

60. Sarah! Ugh! Ow!

61. We ended up spending most the night at the E.R.

62. till they could put a cast on her wrist.

63. I told her she is becoming like the Mummy

64. but she absolutely hated that and told me to shut up.

65. Anyhow, she is having a tough go at it right now

66. and wanted to be alone today.

67. Ready for next steps, but that's enough for now.

68. New materials have always led to new types of chairs.

69. The possibilities are endless.

70. But you probably know by now that a wood chair suits me.

71. So I went back to my friend John's property

72. where Sarah and I camped last fall

73. and saw that the deceased ash was still there

74. and asked if I could have it.

75. I'm not quite sure how I'll get it out of the woods, but...

76. I guess I don't know how I would, either.

77. Y-You go ahead.

78. Really? Yeah.

79. In the moments when I haven't been helping

80. or worrying about Sarah,

81. I've been thinking about Gene's campaign video.

82. He and Gabriel put together the world they'd like to see

83. and I admit, it sucked me in a little bit.

84. Clearly a vision by a retired freighter captain

85. and a 12-year-old boy raised among scientists

86. on a research base in Antarctica,

87. but also a compelling one.

88. I mean, it's very hard to argue with some of their ideas.

89. advances, the machines can produce

90. adequate life support in half the present time.

91. But in the end, what it all boils down to is

92. public transportation.

93. Wow.

94. What did you think?

95. It's great, Gene.

96. I didn't want to get into politics.

97. We just thought it was ridiculous

98. that no other politicians were offering a 100-year plan.

99. I guess one concern is that president of the world

100. sounds like a, uh, dictatorship.

101. No, Joe, no.

102. I'll only stay in office

103. until we can set up a supercomputer

104. to distribute resources without bias.

105. But doesn't all tech—

106. Technology have biases?

107. It's...

108. We're working on it.

109. Okay. Those are my questions.

110. Oh, yeah. How'd you guys meet?

111. Oh, uh, my parents and me

112. went to a furniture store to buy a sofa.

113. A low-profile sectional.

114. Nice.

115. They said the next step

116. is putting together some concrete data

117. to show people that the ideas are feasible.

118. Who knows how they'll do that,

119. but either way, I'm just glad Gene's keeping busy.

120. Then he just steps across...

121. on his hands,

122. but he's not quite close enough.

123. Brought you some gifts.

124. Perfect. All we need is the hard drives.

125. Got it.

126. We could use that.

127. I can't believe I didn't think of that.

128. Zero, one, one,

129. one, zero, zero,

130. one, zero, one, one...

131. Uh, Gene.

132. Oh, my gosh!

133. We figured out how to predict the stock market!

134. It tracks perfect a full month out.

135. Not what we set out to do... but campaign funding, check!

136. Joe...

137. Do you think the stock market could be used for good?

138. No.

139. How come?

140. Nothing.

141. I've been thinking a lot about your campaign lately.

142. It'll be beautiful if you can pull it off.

143. Your ideas for public transportation alone...

144. We've cracked a big obstacle that could give us some footing.

145. But I've got some real considering to do.

146. I wish I could help you more,

147. but I kind of got my hands full with my chair.

148. It's good.

149. We were a little lost before.

150. But now we've both got our things.

151. Well, what's next?

152. I got a trial subscription from IMDb Pro,

153. and I got the address

154. for Andre Benjamin's manager's assistant from it.

155. I'm going to write a letter to him

156. and see if he'd like to be my vice president.

157. Keep me updated.

158. You too.

159. Hey. How's it going, guys?

160. Hey. Hey.

161. What are you up to?

162. Researching electricity.

163. Nice.

164. Gene's actually got a plan to connect

165. all the power grids into one global supergrid.

166. That would cost $50 trillion.

167. That's a lot.

168. You want a drink?

169. Mm, painkillers. Oh.

170. Well, okay.

171. I'll make it a small one.

172. What are you trying to do?

173. I never spent that much time down here before,

174. and, uh...

175. I don't think it's a long-term solution if something happens.

176. People weren't made to live underground.

177. Kind of like that book you got me.

178. You want to move upstairs?

179. Maybe further away.

180. Did you drive by your grandmother's house this week?

181. Yeah.

182. I thought you were gonna stay away from that block.

183. I know. But they put a barn star on it.

184. Sorry.

185. How's the chair coming?

186. Still got 10.

187. I'm hoping it will come together.

188. It will.

189. We'll see.

190. There's a lot of pressure.

191. It feels like, as a guy who's lost a certain amount of hair,

192. I was expected to get into woodworking.

193. And that's not what you did.

194. No.

195. Well, better that than being expected to have a baby.

196. Well...

197. Look at us. No kid deserves this.

198. Sarah... I didn't...

199. Let's not go there now.

200. All right.

201. By the way, you have at least a thousand yellow hairs left.

202. Thanks.

203. Uh, cheers.

204. Cheers.

205. Cheers. Uh, cheers again.

206. Hi, John.

207. I was thinking about our conversation,

208. and, uh, let's do it.

209. Well, if it helps you out, Joe, it's a done deal.

210. Sure.

211. Hey.

212. Wanted to give you this. I know you like books, so...

213. Wow. Thanks, Mike.

214. Yeah, I just told the guy at the bookstore

215. what I think you're like,

216. and he said that you'd be into this, so...

217. I've never heard of it, but I'm excited to read.

218. Yeah.

219. Um, you know, I just wanted to thank you

220. for helping me get that crow for Kelsey.

221. She really loves it.

222. Of course.

223. Well, I got my license back,

224. so I'm gonna go take the family for a drive.

225. Nice. Yeah.

226. Good time of year for that.

227. Yeah. It isnice.

228. It's my favorite activity,

229. I'm never gonna drink and drive ever again.

230. Okay.

231. Okay.

232. So, what are we doing here? We're going for a drive?

233. Yeah. Is that okay?

234. Sure.

235. Thank you.

236. Where are we going?

237. Just driving.

238. What are we doing?

239. Hold on. I'll come get you.

240. We're getting out of the car. Yeah.

241. Watch your step.

242. What are we doing here?Come look.

243. I bought this from John with the money from Nana's house.

244. Let's build a cabin or something.

245. I thought you brought me here to kill me.

246. No. Not yet.

247. Wow.

248. What — What are the boundaries?

249. You can see the markings on the tree over there.

250. I'm gonna walk the perimeter.

251. Come with?

252. Go ahead. I'll catch up in a moment.

253. All right.