Joe Pera Talks With You 3x4

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Joe Pera and you stay up late on a weeknight to listen to his girlfriend, Sarah, share details from Wine Night.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. One of the more interesting chairs in history for me

2. is the dining couch.

3. The Romans called them lectus triclinaris

4. and used them for dinner parties.

5. I suppose 'cause if they drank too much, they could —

6. Stop! Don't eat that. It's an onion.

7. You're an onion.

8. Oh!

9. Oh. Why do you have an onion in the fruit bowl?

10. It's a long story. I was in —

11. Not tonight. I've heard enough tonight.

12. Why does everyone have to share so much?

13. As soon as this water boils,

14. I'm gonna share these pierogies with you.

15. Thank you, thank you.

16. That's not what I meant.

17. It was like everyone was, like —

18. it was like a tell all, you know, like,

19. too open, you know?

20. No. But I want to.

21. Just a sec.

22. Sarah just got back from Diane Ludden's house.

23. Sue Melsky saw her at the store

24. and invited her to Wine Wednesday.

25. Are they in the pot?

26. Yeah. Well, we got 10 minutes.

27. Will you tell me what happened tonight?

28. Yes.

29. Mm...

30. Yes.

31. Mm... yes.

32. Mm...

33. yes.

34. No rush.

35. Well, you know the beginning,

36. 'cause I called you, right?

37. Right.

38. Sounds like you're alone in your truck

39. as opposed to inside, surrounded by women.

40. It was nice to be asked, but I don't know them.

41. You should go in.

42. Remember when you had clarity in the woods

43. and determined to do you good?

44. Right.

45. Right, right, right.

46. Right, right, right.

47. Right, right, right.

48. Right, right, right.

49. Right, right, right.

50. Right, right, right.

51. Right, right, right.

52. Right, right, right.

53. You must be Sarah.

54. Come in!

55. Uh, ladies. this is Sarah Conner.

56. Sarah, these are my high school gals,

57. Diane Ludden, and Debin Jaconski-Hammershunk.

58. Hi. Well, don't get confused.

59. It's my house.

60. Sue just likes to invite people here.

61. Can I take your, uh, coat?

62. No, I'm good. Th— Thank you.

63. Oh, Debin Jaconski-Hammershunk.

64. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

65. She offered to take my jacket and I didn't let her.

66. Was that rude?

67. Hmm. I don't know.

68. Are the pierogies ready?

69. Not yet.

70. Oh.

71. Well, I went into the living room

72. and they had a huge spread — wine and stuff,

73. and it smelled like 100 vanilla candles.

74. Sue, this chicken is great.

75. How did you get it so thin?

76. I put the cutlets in plastic baggies

77. and backed over them with the car.

78. Shut the hell up, bitch.

79. So, Sarah, how do you know Sue?

80. Oh, I'm seeing Sue's neighbor, Joe.

81. Oh, we've seen him, too...

82. almost get hit by a car picking up a leaf.

83. Is it serious?

84. Yeah, sure, we like each other.

85. You go online much.

86. Uh -

87. - Mommy! - Landon Orlando!

88. You get your biscuits back in bed.

89. No, Diane, if he wants wine —

90. Sneaky little bad boy!

91. Yeah, life at the Melskys'.

92. - Yes, truly! - Honored.

93. That is — Thank you for noticing.

94. I don't think so.

95. You get back to bed.

96. Oh, thank you.

97. Oh! What is that?

98. This is — it's a Benchmade Mini Griptilian.

99. It's like the Griptilian, but mini.

100. It's like 2.9 ounces.

101. Just a solid everyday carrying knife.

102. What's it for, like self-defense?

103. Oh, no, no, no, it's not self-defense weapon.

104. That could get ugly really fast.

105. What is a good self-defense weapon?

106. Non-lethal?

107. Um, I don't know,

108. like a small tactical flashlight,

109. anything 300 lumens or more.

110. You're kidding. Whoa!

111. No, I'm serious. Here.

112. Here, you want to try — try it on the medium setting.

113. Medium setting, non-lethal, okay.

114. Debin. Hmm?

115. Come get my goods.

116. I don't think I-I would do that.

117. Be careful.

118. - You ready? - Okay.

119. - Aah! - Oh, crap!

120. Oh, damn it!

121. No big deal, okay? We're cleaning it up.

122. - I'm not worried. - I got to get one of those.

123. You stay right there. Alright, alright, alright.

124. I mean, on the highest setting, it can it can blind

125. a perp for up to 30 minutes.

126. Oh, I love that.

127. Ew. Nice rub.

128. Andrea Kubrick needs to get a life.

129. What'd she do now?

130. Ugh, she had a baby.

131. Oh, don't be jealous of that.

132. My box was a freakin' mess after I had a kid, okay?

133. Mommy! Pee-pee!

134. It's like I Fd a camel with this one.

135. Oh! I don't think so.

136. I'm telling you,

137. everything falls out and then you have to

138. push it back in and it's just not the same.

139. Okay, it doesn't happen like that for everyone.

140. - I couldn't believe it. - What is a box?

141. What?

142. Ah! Hot!

143. Sorry. Should've warned you.

144. They know everything about each other.

145. So open.

146. Does everything need to get shared?

147. There are benefits to being very open.

148. I don't know them, 'cause I'm not —

149. You make you so vulnerable, you make yourself weak.

150. Ah!

151. Hoo! How do you make 'em this hot?

152. Boiling water.

153. Well, what happened next?

154. It sounds like you and the gang were just getting going

155. and that more exciting things were about to happen.

156. They asked me about you.

157. Oh, boy.

158. So what's it like dating Joe the Plumber?

159. Girl, yes. Tell.

160. Well, we don't play chess every night,

161. if that's what you're thinking.

162. Okay!

163. Okay! Yes, yes, keep laughing.

164. I'm gonna go get more Chardonnay.

165. Oh, so you just moved to Marquette

166. and you already got a boyfriend?

167. - Debin. - Oh, boy.

168. Is she back to dragging the single life again?

169. You're all in relationships. You don't get it.

170. Yeah, well, when you meet someone,

171. you better take your time getting to know them.

172. My charming husband just got another DUI.

173. How long did you know each other before you got married?

174. Two months.

175. Wait, is DUI the one where you can't drive anymore

176. or the one where they let you drive, but —

177. Don't mind me, ladies. I'm not here.

178. Ooh, chips. - Like we didn't see him.

179. I'm not complaining.

180. - He's got them legs. - Ooh, la, la.

181. Ah, he's got a small but he's still

182. Diane!

183. Alright, rub it in, you're all having sex IRL.

184. You.

185. What's your secret?

186. I don't have a secret.

187. Okay. What were you like in high school?

188. I was a goth.

189. I love that for you.

190. Wait, are you on Facesite?

191. No, definitely not.

192. Can we sign you up? No.

193. Oh, but your boyfriend's on it.

194. Okay, fine, just don't use my last name.

195. I would never. What do you want

196. your last name to be?

197. I got to use your computer and delete it tonight.

198. Sure.

199. Oh, no.

200. What?

201. What happened?

202. Let's be real,

203. We are a freakin' powerhouse.

204. Debin, I do think you're gonna find somebody.

205. No, I won't.

206. Yes, you will.

207. Yes, I will.

208. Sarah, you have such good energy.

209. Like an ox.

210. Th— Thank you.

211. I feel — I feel good here.

212. I feel good right now.

213. I've been feeling so

214. like a scared heifer lately.

215. D-Do you feel this?

216. Like something's about to — about to happen?

217. How do you mean?

218. I got a fortified basement with supplies, right?

219. And you're all welcome.

220. But...

221. lately, I-I got this dread that it's...

222. it's not enough.

223. - Salud. - Salud.

224. Oh,

225. It's 11:30 p.m.

226. and want everybody to get the hell out of my house!

227. Thank you.

228. Thank you.

229. Sarah!

230. It's true.

231. I was still playing hockey

232. while 30 weeks pregnant with Nicole.

233. No. No, no. Yes!

234. Oh! Oh, oh!

235. Oh, oh, oh!

236. I betrayed myself.

237. So you mentioned the basement.

238. I don't think they'll remember.

239. And foot's asleep.

240. I think you had a good time.

241. Good time girl.

242. Let's start with measure 8.