Joe Pera Talks With You 3x2

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You and Joe ponder fire, creator and destroyer of civilization.

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1. Perfect.

2. Hello, my name is Joe Pera.

3. - We got to go. - What?

4. We got to get out of town.

5. Grab your bug-out bag and be in my truck in 90 seconds.

6. What's going on?

7. I'm not sure. We just need to leave.

8. Okay.

9. You want me to bring those leftovers?

10. No!

11. Let's go visit the Melskys.

12. I don't know the answer, but that's not it.

13. Yeah.

14. I couldn't believe it yesterday when they brought up

15. arming us teachers at the faculty meeting.

16. Just a conversation, I guess.

17. There have been a lot of school shootings this year.

18. You teaching choir with a gun?

19. Society's sick.

20. Then I got home and saw how far down the market was.

21. People are losing faith.

22. Chinese manufacturing's slowing, sure,

23. but that big a dip in a week?

24. I couldn't sleep at all last night.

25. Sorry. If you had called,

26. I could have told you some quiet facts

27. about how the first known chairs date back

28. to ancient Egypt, 5,000 years ago.

29. What did people sit on before then?

30. Stools, floors, the ground.

31. Well, lucky for you, I got some folding chairs in the back.

32. I just feel like something's going to happen soon,

33. and I just want to be as far away as possible from people.

34. Okay. Camping sounds fun.

35. Maybe we'll see that three-antler deer

36. there's been rumors about.

37. Sarah's fears, although abstract, aren't unwarranted.

38. This area has known its share of tragedies,

39. many of them fire related.

40. Our St. Peter's Cathedral burnt down in 1879,

41. and then again in 1935.

42. The Presbyterian church on Front Street

43. burned in 1931.

44. And in the Great Fire of Marquette,

45. more than 100 buildings went up in flames.

46. So I suppose I understand her impulse

47. to want to get away.

48. Every now and then, the town goes up in flames.

49. Besides, it's really nice out here.

50. Bummer.

51. Didn't spot the three-antler deer.

52. Joe, what is this?

53. Aren't you?

54. You definitely took something important out of the bug-out bag

55. so this could fit.

56. I'm sorry.

57. It's Okay.

58. I'm gonna see if I can catch us something for dinner.

59. When you get back, there'll be a great fire to cook it on.

60. All right.

61. I'd love to make this thing freaking huge.

62. You'd probably like to see that to.

63. Where does that urge come from?

64. If I had to say one sentence that most people in the world

65. would probably agree with, it'd be, "Fire is cool."

66. When the First Baptist Church burned down in 1965,

67. many people in Marquette brought sandwiches and coffee

68. and made a day out of watching the church burn down.

69. Why? They were probably just trying to figure out

70. why so many of our town's churches burn down.

71. In this case, it was an overheated pipe.

72. But folks can get imaginative connecting dots,

73. like Gene's friend, Timeric,

74. who thinks the three-antler deer is an Old Testament demon.

75. I got a rainbow trout and brown trout.

76. Amazing. It's like the lake knew our fish order.

77. Can I give you a hand?

78. It's dinnertime.

79. Any news?

80. Nothing on the radio.

81. You still feel like something's going to happen?

82. I don't know.

83. Well, how many yams do you want?

84. You think I'm going to eat more than one of those?

85. Did you know that the discovery of cooking food

86. made our brains bigger?

87. I did.

88. That was, what, 400,000 years ago?

89. Yeah.

90. So imagine how much smarter you'd get if you ate two yams.

91. I'm not gonna eat two yams.

92. Lucky me.

93. Fish fry two nights in a row.

94. Did you go by yourself again last night?

95. It's tradition.

96. I know I'm not your grandmother,

97. but I'll go with you next Friday

98. if I can get out of detention duty.

99. Only if you promise to call me next time

100. you get uneasy feelings like you had last night.

101. Sorry if you don't want to,

102. but is there someone else you could talk to?

103. Yeah.

104. Talking with Gene helps me when I'm wound up.

105. One time, I almost didn't chaperone

106. a field trip downstate

107. because I accidentally watched "Final Destination 5."

108. I was horrified the Mackinac Bridge

109. would collapse when the bus went over.

110. But Gene said, "Don't worry, the bridge will collapse."

111. Well, how did he know?

112. I don't know.

113. Why did you trust him?

114. Don't you trust people?

115. No, not in a general sense.

116. I mean, you know why.

117. After my brother was trampled, I just wanted to be alone,

118. I didn't walk over a kid.

119. My parents got distant and I just...

120. learned to do things myself.

121. Was that when you started hoarding soap under your bed?

122. Yeah.

123. You know, I liked to do other stuff, too.

124. I read a lot of books and played a lot of video games.

125. Very cool.

126. You know I played my French horn.

127. What about your stand partners?

128. You get along with them?

129. Mm. French horn players are weirdos.

130. Then I joined ROTC

131. to toughen up and learn some survival skills,

132. but I didn't buy in.

133. It's so funny to think of you as a goth in ROTC.

134. Yeah, we're actually pretty all right with it,

135. but I didn't make any real connections.

136. There was this guy in the unit.

137. You remember that song "Last Resort" by Papa Roach?

138. - Yes. - So, when it would come on,

139. he'd make everyone laugh by putting a gun in his mouth

140. and thrashing his head to the beat.

141. What?

142. Oh, my gosh.

143. I hope he's doing all right.

144. I don't think people are bad, just —

145. Hi, Gene.

146. Oh, crap.

147. Apple turnovers are two for one at Econofoods.

148. I can't right now.

149. How is everything else?

150. Great. I sold two chairs this week.

151. Congrats.

152. I'll call you soon, but thanks for having my back.

153. Well...

154. All's well.

155. And we got apple turnovers waiting for us.

156. I appreciate you going with me on this.

157. Yeah.

158. You're a person of action. I appreciate that.

159. And also how you know how to do stuff.

160. Except for season food.

161. We're cooking with butter.

162. Not enough.

163. Here.

164. I got some salt and pepper in my pocket.

165. I could probably stand to make some friends.

166. During Marquette's Great Fire of 1868,

167. Peter White, the prominent local businessman

168. after whom our library is named,

169. took all the town's banking records and cash

170. and sent them out on a boat onto the lake

171. with several employees,

172. telling them not to come back until the disaster had passed.

173. Marquette's business records survived

174. and made it possible to begin rebuilding

175. the downtown almost immediately.

176. This is the only good thing a banker has done.

177. Just a few days later, photographer

178. and former state representative Steve Lindberg

179. got the photo of the three-antler deer.