Joe Pera Talks With You 3x1

Directed by

Joe goes to the furniture store to help his friend Gene pick out a retirement chair.

Request examples:

!req Joe Pera Talks With You 3x1 [02:32]
!req Joe Pera Talks With You 3x1 [Joe Pera Talks With You 3x1]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Joe Pera Talks With You 3x1 [10-11]; !req Joe Pera Talks With You 3x1 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. After 16 weeks, I'm finally ready to buy a chair.

2. There's no rush. I set aside my whole day for this.

3. I appreciate you being here. It's a tough decision.

4. Wait till you see inside.

5. You know I'm not great at decisions, Gene.

6. And in the past, they've even caused me to pass out.

7. How can I help make this easier for you?

8. You're a person of integrity, who likes describing things.

9. Just give me your honest opinion about the recliners.

10. Okay, I can do that.

11. Are you ready, America, to do some sitting?

12. Wow.

13. Hello. My name is Joe Pera.

14. And I'm here helping my friend Gene

15. decide on a retirement chair today

16. so that it can be delivered before the winter.

17. With 73 days at or below freezing in Marquette,

18. we do a lot of sitting here.

19. I suppose we all do.

20. I just looked it up, and the average United States person

21. sits 10 to 11 hours a day,

22. and that doesn't even include laying down.

23. Are you sitting right now?

24. Don't worry, I'm not going to give bad news.

25. Just wondering what you are sitting on.

26. If it's a chair, what kind is it?

27. How would you describe what it's like to sit on that chair?

28. I realized today that there are more types than I ever imagined,

29. like that chair over there, a landmark swivel.

30. Gene told me that earlier.

31. He's spent a lot of time here lately

32. and was showing me around.

33. Happy Thanksgiving.

34. The quality of the dining-room set is top-notch.

35. Yeah.

36. You think any of the employees ever sleep here?

37. I already asked them, and they said no.

38. Oh.

39. Joe, touch this.

40. Gene, you look like a lawyer.

41. I am a lawyer. I chase ambulances.

42. I can understand why your decision is so tough here.

43. Here, try this one.

44. Okay.

45. Wow.

46. Is this a contender?

47. Nope, just get your rear-end warmed up.

48. Hey, Gene. Hi, Rhoda.

49. I brought my friend Joe over to help me out.

50. Well, hello, Joe. Nice to meet you.

51. Today the day?

52. I hope so.

53. That's the plan. That's on the agenda.

54. But to be honest, Rhoda, I really hope so.

55. Here, I brought you and the gang some fresh rolls

56. to eat with your coffee. Thank you, Gene.

57. I know you know your way around,

58. but you let me know if you have any questions.

59. I actually have one.

60. At what point does it go from sitting to laying down?

61. Forty-five degrees?

62. That makes sense.

63. I always say, when you see more ceiling than wall.

64. You see, there's not much more I can tell you

65. that Gene can at this point.

66. I'm around if you need me.

67. Good luck.

68. Thanks.

69. Okay, let me show you the chairs I'm deciding between.

70. This one's a classic rocker recliner in black.

71. Do you like it? Sure.

72. Back and forth on the waves, like a docked boat.

73. Or a buoy.

74. Baba Booey.

75. And when you allow yourself into a state of drowsiness,

76. you can pull the lever and go into theater mode.

77. Wow.

78. This is an ultra-comfort, zero-gravity recliner

79. in whicker,

80. It's very comfortable,

81. and it offers a number of therapeutic positions.

82. You'll never want to get out of this one.

83. That's the problem.

84. This is an ergonomically- designed chaise relaxer

85. constructed with high-density polyurethane foam.

86. It's like it's from the future.

87. Yep.

88. These are all great options, Gene.

89. But it seems like there's more to it than that.

90. You feel like a different person in each chair.

91. Welcome to the universe of chairs.

92. It's not as big as the regular universe, but it's pretty big.

93. Recliners are just a tiny little iceberg.

94. Humans have been sitting for a while now,

95. and there are thousands of years worth of chairs.

96. It's hard to imagine previous generations of humans

97. sitting like this, though.

98. I got a question for you.

99. First, let's take a break and rest our asses.

100. The question I wanted to ask was,

101. which chair does Lulu think is best?

102. She said it's my keister and that she could support me

103. but she cannot help me.

104. I think she's lost patience coming with me to the store.

105. But we have a good arrangement. I come here on Saturdays.

106. She has the house to herself to watch European soccer

107. in peace.

108. Lulu's a huge ManU fan.

109. It is nice here. It's like a large communal living room.

110. Exactly. Everyone can sit and talk,

111. and they don't have to commit to one chair.

112. I can't think of a better place to hang out.

113. I agree.

114. However, if you're retired like me,

115. you have to pick a chair.

116. I need a place to sit and unpack the last 68 years

117. while watching daytime TV.

118. Mm-hmm.

119. And if we do it right, this is the last chair

120. I'll ever have to buy.

121. Oh.

122. Hey, excuse me,

123. you know how to get to the Mackinaw Bridge from here?

124. No, I'm not sure.

125. It's okay. Uh, what are you doing here?

126. How old are you? Can you tell me who I am?

127. Uh...

128. Don't have a cow, man.

129. Bart! Ding, ding, ding!

130. Hey, remember, there's no guarantee,

131. so live life to the fullest.

132. Can I borrow your cellphone for a minute?

133. Sure.

134. Positive vibes only.

135. It was just too strange.

136. That a friend of yours outside, Gene?

137. I don't know.

138. So, today's the day?

139. I was just about to take my final sits.

140. Good luck to you.

141. Thank you.

142. 100%, yes, mm-hmm.

143. And it comes in a variety of colors.

144. How does that chair feel?

145. Try the buttons. Try them.

146. This is Gene.

147. Do you think he could work here two to three days a week?

148. Well...

149. it's 2018 and the economy's booming,

150. and he'd be good with customers.

151. I agree.

152. How would you like to work a couple of days a week here?

153. Oh! Oh!

154. Yes, I would love that!

155. We succeeded today in a big way.

156. Gene got the part-time position, and in two weeks,

157. he is going to order the ergonomic chaise relaxer

158. once eligible for the employee discount.

159. And we celebrated with a drive-thru burger on the way home.

160. Hey, it is Saturday night.

161. Hey, Gus.

162. When I got home, I automatically went to sit

163. but realized I had been doing it all day

164. so, instead, just walked around

165. and looked at the chairs in my house.

166. I must have sat in each 5,000 times,

167. probably more for some, like the wingback in my living room.

168. There are 20 chairs in my house —

169. 6 dining-room chairs, 4 in my kitchen,

170. a bedroom chair that I use more for resting clothes on

171. than sitting,

172. Gus' chair,

173. in the garage, 4 folding chairs for guests.

174. My computer chair is uncomfortable,

175. but that is good so I won't play games for too long.

176. And the chair in my backyard I should put away

177. but the leave out during winter

178. 'cause I like to watch the snow pile on top of it.

179. This does not even include my front steps or toilet

180. or the chairs at my nana's house,

181. which I still have to sell.

182. Is 20 chairs a lot of chairs?

183. Seems like to me,

184. considering I have only one rear-end.

185. And though I like them, this is the house I grew up in,

186. and I chose none of them myself.

187. Hey. Hey.

188. Where do you think I should sit?

189. Okay.

190. I had a hot dog for lunch and a hamburger for dinner.