Joe Pera Talks With You 2x4

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When the power goes out on a summer evening, Joe Pera wanders around the neighborhood to see what his neighbors are up to; some of Michigan's best lighthouses are featured.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. There's an Irish poem about lighthouses

2. from the mid-1800s that I think of now and then.

3. I can't remember the name of the poet or poem,

4. but it goes,

5. "Very bright, guiding light.

6. This is why I'm happy tonight."

7. Surrounded by four Great Lakes,

8. Michigan has more lighthouses than any other state,

9. and I am happy as the sailor in the poem about that.

10. Though the last U.S. lighthouse was automated in 1998,

11. I've always dreamt of being a keeper,

12. especially during

13. the Golden Age of American lighthouses

14. that lasted from 1853 to 1928.

15. What other profession comes with the tower and nearby water

16. to look at and daydream?

17. Sometimes I'll imagine that it's June or July of 1865

18. and I'm returning from the Civil War,

19. a bugle player in Michigan's 1st Regiment.

20. And on my way home to the family dairy farm,

21. I spot a beautiful red-brick structure along the lake.

22. Now that I've got a taste of the wider world —

23. at least through Northern Virginia and back —

24. I don't think I'll ever be quite content

25. on the dairy farm again.

26. Um, hello.

27. I was wondering

28. if I could talk to the lighthouse keeper.

29. What for?

30. To see if he might need an assistant.

31. I don't.

32. Hello.

33. My name is Joe Pera.

34. And I'm sorry to dwell on old times.

35. With the power out tonight,

36. it's tempting to romanticize them,

37. but I should know better,

38. especially 'cause I am always making fun

39. of British palace guards and their big bearskin hats.

40. It's ridiculous, unethical —

41. it makes everyone in their country seem like fools.

42. Anyhow, not only does Michigan have the most lighthouses,

43. our state had the most female keepers, as well.

44. It was one of the first federal jobs held by women.

45. I was reading the book

46. "Ladies of the Lights" by Patricia Majher

47. and actually realized

48. that my friend/co-worker/ romantic partner Sarah

49. has a lot in common

50. with some of those early keepers,

51. like her, uh, knack for anticipating

52. and dealing with risk,

53. resilience,

54. and the ability to stay up late.

55. Her own lights are on tonight

56. thanks to the generators she converted to biodiesel.

57. I asked her if she needed anything,

58. but she said she was alright.

59. I guess I shouldn't worry about my nana, either.

60. She's in bed with a fully charged iPad.

61. Hm.

62. Hm.

63. Should we see if my neighbors, the Melskys,

64. know anything about lighthouses?

65. Okay.

66. Perfect blows.

67. Watch the house, Gus.

68. Not realizing how much work was involved,

69. Einstein once suggested giving light house jobs

70. to young scientists

71. so they could use the time to mull over science problems.

72. In reality, though,

73. the abundance of time and space got to some keepers.

74. The Stannard Rock Light,

75. 47 miles off the coast of Marquette,

76. was even referred to

77. as the loneliest place in North America.

78. Some keepers even went mad from the iso— Whoa!

79. - It's Frankenstein! - Aaah!

80. It's Frankenstein!I'm not Frankenstein, guys, I swear.

81. What the hell's going on?

82. - Dad, isn't this Frankenstein? - Is this Frankenstein?

83. I'm not Frankenstein. it's Joe, Mike.

84. It's your neighbor.

85. It's Frankenstein! Kick his ass!

86. - Aah! - It's Frankenstein!

87. He's not Frankenstein. What are you doing?

88. We thought he was Frankenstein.

89. Not you — your father.

90. Oh, I'm sorry.

91. As their father, I will teach them how to protect themselves

92. because what's the law?

93. - Stand your ground! - Stand your ground! - Stand your ground!

94. Do I need to explain to you

95. why we shouldn't let our kids attack our neighbors?

96. Thought it was Frankenstein.

97. Why do you always have to make me the bad guy, Mike?

98. Sorry Joe. Here. You can have Mike's ice cream bar.

99. Kelsey, Josh... Here, Daddy.

100. go inside and get ready for bed.

101. Just — Just go inside.

102. It's okay.

103. Eat it.

104. Damn it!

105. Do you know that the lighthouse keeper on Poverty Island

106. used to lock his kid in a coal bin...

107. when he misbehaved?

108. Not appropriate.

109. Sorry.

110. Why aren't you with Sarah?

111. I'm still thinking.

112. About what?

113. Well, to me,

114. as long as there's no major structural damage,

115. a power outage or a big snowstorm

116. is an opportunity to pause, play euchre,

117. and see what your neighbors are up to after 9:00 p.m.

118. Mm.

119. But to Sarah, an event like this

120. is a reminder that our system has cracks

121. that could expand into a break

122. if this were, say, an attack on the power grid

123. or a Carrington Event.

124. What's that?

125. A solar storm

126. that could wipe out technology as we know it.

127. It's on Sarah's mind, and it seems irrational,

128. until I learned that, as a kid,

129. she witnessed her brother get trampled

130. in a Black Friday shopping rush.

131. I know.

132. And it's made me consider,

133. what do I have to offer Sarah in a critical moment?

134. I'm still not sure.

135. And if I show up tonight empty-handed,

136. I'm afraid it'll indicate not much.

137. Probably said too much,

138. but can I ask you,

139. what does Mike offer you in difficult times?

140. I don't know, Joe.

141. I better go see what's going on inside.

142. What — What are the odds of a Carrington event happening?

143. NASA says 12% in the next decade... Oh.

144. so likely within our lifetimes.

145. Shit.

146. Night, Sue.

147. Night.

148. What can you do?

149. I am proficient at milking cows, and at a colonel's order,

150. I can signal a cavalry charge with my horn.

151. There you are.

152. I was wondering when you'd come over.

153. I can help you reach things.

154. I can tend the garden.

155. The different hours we keep are a good thing.

156. And when they overlap, I can offer companionship.

157. and entertainment.

158. You know, you don't need an excuse to come over.

159. Oh.

160. If anything ever happens, I hope you will.

161. Being together — that — that's the point of a relationship.

162. Uh, right.

163. Whether it's a power outage or a family situation

164. or a nuclear attack or a biological weapon.

165. Mm-hmm.

166. Or an amphibious invasion from Ontario by the British

167. or a horde of French Catholics moving into town.

168. What's wrong with French Catholics?

169. They're not to be trusted.

170. They take their orders from the Pope.

171. Oh, I see.

172. You know, this is the safest place in the territory.

173. We have the higher ground.

174. If they gather around our door,

175. we can hurl diseased, dead animals down on them.

176. You're making me a little bit nervous,

177. but I suppose, if anything were to happen,

178. I have something to sustain me.

179. What's that?

180. Irish poetry.

181. Can I take them off now?

182. I think they're starting to get fat.

183. Mm. One more hour.

184. They will fall off on their own.