Joe Pera Talks With You 2x3

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Joe sits and waits for his Nana to finish her appointment at the hair salon before they both go out to eat fried fish.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Hello. My name is Joe Pera.

2. And right now, I'm exactly where I want to be,

3. the beauty parlor.

4. Every Friday afternoon since I was 5 years old,

5. I've waited for my nana to get her hair done.

6. And as soon as she's finished, we go for a fish fry.

7. I suppose I could run errands or go home and play computer,

8. but I think that she likes that I'm here.

9. I do, too.

10. Also, the price of gasoline.

11. Can I ask you a question?

12. What kind of fish do you think I'm going to get

13. at tonight's fish fry —

14. perch or whitefish?

15. Yep, you got it.

16. What's my second choice?

17. Yep. You got it.

18. Man, I can't wait to eat that fish meal.

19. For those of you in Southern California,

20. a typical fish fry is a paper-napkin meal

21. consisting of fried fish...

22. French fries...

23. coleslaw...

24. rye bread and butter...

25. and a beer or pop —

26. an almost entirely brown meal.

27. And just thinking about it's making me hungry.

28. You're not bored, are you, Joey?

29. Y-You know I've never been bored,

30. not once in my life.

31. It was a fabulous...

32. She asked me that every week.

33. Nothing around here changes much,

34. kind of like a hyperbolic time chamber and Dragon Ball,

35. where Gohan, Goku, Vegeta, Trunks,

36. and other characters go to train

37. because, inside of it,

38. one day equals one year of regular time.

39. Unlike the Saiyan Souls, the clients here

40. haven't changed their hairstyles much in the past few decades.

41. Right...?

42. What's he talking about now?

43. Oh, yeah. And Piccolo, too.

44. But he doesn't have any hair.

45. I think The closest you can come

46. to knowing what it's like to be another person

47. is by getting a different hairstyle.

48. For example, here I am with Mr. Slick...

49. Flattop...

50. the co-worker who is thinking

51. of deep-frying a turkey this Thanksgiving...

52. the MRI technician...

53. the mayor's wife...

54. Rich South African Guy...

55. Hockey Guy...

56. Hockey Guy II.

57. Aaaaaah!

58. Super Saiyan II.

59. Unfortunately,

60. I lack the coarse hair and bravery it takes

61. for a haircut.

62. But I think it's at least important to imagine,

63. for empathy's sake.

64. When it comes down to it,

65. waiting for someone is just a nice thing to do.

66. Think of a hospital waiting room

67. or someone who waits for a loved one

68. to serve a prison sentence.

69. What's more romantic than that?

70. If my wife goes to jail,

71. I will wait for her, as long as it's not murder.

72. Joe! Get over here

73. before you start talking to the plants!

74. Yes, Carol.

75. So, it's true what say — it really is a beauty parlor.

76. Joe, when are you gonna ask me out?

77. I think I'm pretty —

78. Honey, I'm just teasing you.

79. Your nana told us all about your new girlfriend.

80. That's Carol, Nana's best friend.

81. That girl is too nice. He needs to be yelled at a bit.

82. Lulu, my best friend Gene's best friend.

83. I like her. She's grounded.

84. Nana, my best friend.

85. She sounds unattractive.

86. Roe, she's critical.

87. And Louise — her best friend is wine.

88. Oh, Roe, I think she's very handsome.

89. Don't you, Joe?

90. Yeah, of course. She's my girlfriend.

91. If you catch my drift.

92. Oh, whoa!

93. - It's true. - That's perfect.

94. Nana, would you say that waiting

95. gets easier or harder as you get older?

96. It has to do with patience.

97. And you learn it as you go on, or you just —

98. Yeah. I think — I think

99. I am much more patient now than I used to be.

100. The things that you thought were so important

101. just really aren't.

102. Yeah, but aren't there days

103. when you want to run the person right off the road

104. - 'cause they're in your way? - Yeah.

105. Especially in construction situations.

106. You are the one who has the choice

107. whether you will take it hard or you will take it easy,

108. and it's much better for you to just take it easy.

109. Oh. Waiting seems a little bit easier

110. when you've had a glass of wine.

111. Now you know how it feels.

112. I was just wondering, do you have any special techniques

113. that you use to help pass the time?

114. I try to think about what my next adventure would be.

115. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

116. What are you thinking about now?

117. I don't think there's enough time left in my life

118. to travel to all the places I want to get to.

119. Well, where is the next place you want to go?

120. The next one is going to be South Dakota...

121. so going to do that.

122. Get in the car and just go.

123. Do you have any techniques to help pass the time, Carol?

124. I do visit the casinos. My life is not boring.

125. Time seems to go by fast at the casino.

126. Yeah, unfortunately.

127. Other things go fast at a casino, too.

128. Oh!

129. If it wasn't for TV, I don't think I would do anything.

130. I watch "Blue Bloods."

131. - Oh. - Yes.

132. - I don't quite get that. - How about Tom Selleck?

133. Yes. Oh, I — That's right.

134. - Young, old, in-between? - Mm-hmm.

135. My Nana and I are similar

136. in that we both prefer to listen in social situations.

137. Oh, yeah.

138. When you're with the right people

139. it's not important to say much.

140. Popped it out.

141. I mean, they killed her off to get rid of her.

142. Then again, someone's got to fill the air.

143. I don't think they ever found the girl's body,

144. but they're pretty sure she's dead.

145. When she wants,

146. Nana knows how to pick her spots, too.

147. And the squirrel puts one hand out, second paw.

148. - And looked just like that? - Yeah.

149. Joe, come over here. I have something for you.

150. - Oh. - Leave my grandson alone.

151. No, I-I can't.

152. Oh, come on. You always used to do it.

153. I know, when I was 5, but not today.

154. - Ohh. - Ohh.

155. I'm gonna go back and get an M&M,

156. but enjoy your hair appointment.

157. See you later.

158. Nana's friends used to give me a quarter.

159. if I'd sing them a song.

160. Now... I don't need their quarters.

161. I got quarters of my own.

162. Joey, come on. Let's go next door.

163. - Ohh! - Great. Joey, great!

164. - Let's go next door. - Great!

165. Hey, Papa, can I have a quarter?

166. I'll give you a quarter if you say "God damn it."

167. Yeah, me too.

168. Drop the "God" stuff.

169. Damn it.

170. Alright.

171. One quarter per song... Here you go.

172. four to five quarters per swear.

173. That was a bad lesson

174. that got me into a lot of trouble later on.

175. But that's a story for another time.

176. Joey, honey, I'm ready.

177. Alright. Here we go.

178. See you next week, everybody.

179. We're getting fish fry.

180. - Bye! - Bye!

181. Your hair looks nice.

182. Ah, thank you. Ah...

183. - Here you go. - Oh, thank you.

184. You're welcome.

185. Thanks, Kathleen.

186. You're welcome. Enjoy.

187. Oh, boy. Yeah.

188. That looks great.

189. Oh, it's kind of juicy today.

190. Mmm.

191. This is so good.

192. It's fried fish. Mmm.

193. Of course it tastes good.

194. But the wait in the company make it taste,

195. uh, really good.

196. No, absolutely not. I called my brother.

197. I took a picture of these Nike shoes.Mm-hmm.

198. And I called up Steve and I said,

199. "Hey, Steve, just look at your phone."

200. I got — You know. Mm-hmm.

201. And he said, "Yeah, I could use a new pair of shoes."

202. You know what you do when you go to a garage sale —

203. you buy everything.No I don't.

204. Yes, you do. I don't. Stop it.

205. Why do you say that?

206. Why do you say that? It's my money, anyway, so...

207. It's — It's not yours.

208. How's your fish?My fish is good.

209. Yeah. I really love it.

210. I love garage sales.