1. I know you're all excited
about career day,
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2. but your parents
won't be arriving
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3. until last period.
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4. Hey, Jade,
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5. is your uncle Jackie
gonna wow the class
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6. about the "secret agent"
business?
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7. You bet, drew,
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8. and the truth
is gonna
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9. blow... Your... Mind.
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10. Oh, oh, you mean the "truth"
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11. about ninjas, magic talismans,
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12. that 400-pound giant
named tofu?
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13. His name is...
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14. Tohru.
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15. Jackie.
Uncle.
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16. Jade, hand over
the talismans...
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17. Or we chop down
your family tree.
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18. You guys are the ones
going down.
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19. Hyah!
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20. Hyah!
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21. I'm sorry
- I doubted you, Jade.
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22. No homework for
the rest of the year!
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23. Yes! Go, Jade.
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24. Yeah, no homework.
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25. Jade...
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26. Jade...
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27. Jade!
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28. If you're done daydreaming,
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29. can you tell us
the capital of Italy?
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30. Uh, pizza?
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31. Heh heh.
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32. So, with the kitten
under one arm,
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33. and the orphan
under the other,
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34. I leapt out of
the second-story window.
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35. Yeah, I saved
a few lives,
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36. but when you're
a firefighter,
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37. that's all in a day's work.
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38. Thanks for listening, kids.
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39. All right!
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40. All right, dad.
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41. Pretty cool, drew.
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42. But wait till you get
a load of Jackie.
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43. To uncover artifacts,
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44. the patient archeologist
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45. digs in the dirt
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46. with little, tiny brushes,
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47. bring very careful
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48. not to damage anything.
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49. Sometimes it can take
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50. hours or even days.
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51. So much for
secret agent man.
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52. Uh... Question?
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53. Jackie, tell us
about the time
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54. you whomped a bunch
of shadowkahn
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55. on the roller coaster
at melvinworld.
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56. Heh. That's a bit
off topic, Jade.
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57. Now, once an artifact
is unearthed—
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58. really! He tanned
their ninja hides.
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59. He's got amazing
reflexes. Watch.
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60. Ow! Jade...
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61. Jade has quite
an imagination,
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62. doesn't she,
Mr. chan?
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63. Heh. Yes, she does.
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64. And a good
throwing arm, too.
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65. Thanks, Jackie.
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66. You made me look like
a big, fat liar.
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67. Jade, my work
with section 13
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68. is a secret, remember?
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69. Besides, this is career day,
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70. and my career is archeology.
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71. Next time you go on a mission,
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72. I'm bringing back proof.
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73. What next time?
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74. You're not supposed
to go on assignment
with me, Jade.
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75. And don't forget,
children—
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76. next week, it's your turn
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77. to report on
your parents' job,
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78. after you
accompany them to work.
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79. Captain black
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80. has pinpointed the location
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81. of another talisman
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82. in Micronesia.
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83. Whoa.
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84. You think archeology
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85. is a snore?
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86. We'll start here.
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87. Remember, Jade—
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88. archeology requires Patience.
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89. Ooh...
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90. Oh, Jackie...
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91. You gotta be kidding me.
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92. It's the monkey talisman.
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93. Must be a sea monkey.
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94. The dark hand.
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95. Go, go, go!
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96. Get back up to the boat.
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97. Aaahhh!
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98. Unh. Unh. Aaahh!
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99. The talisman.
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100. Ah...
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101. Hand over the rock, flipper.
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102. Hey.
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103. Uh, you guys are going down.
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104. Stop.
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105. Why are we
listening to him?
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106. Yaaahhh!
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107. Whoa.
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108. Get off of me, ratso.
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109. Rrrrr...
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110. Jackie!
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111. Monkey magic better be good.
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112. Come on, activate already.
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113. Uhh... Before
this boat ride
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114. makes me yack.
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115. Whoa. Not what I meant.
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116. What just
happened here?
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117. Chan's a horse.
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118. No, chan's a yak.
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119. The talisman.
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120. Uh, yakkie, er, Jackie?
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121. Uh, change him back.
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122. This must be the "turn stuff
into other stuff" talisman.
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123. I noticed.
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124. So how about
I turn tohru into—
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125. Ohh...
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126. Ewww!
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127. Hello. Mouthwash?
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128. Who are you?
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129. Where am I?
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130. Ah... I'm shipwrecked.
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131. My report is gonna rock.
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132. Say "cheese."
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133. Hey, monkey boy,
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134. that's not for you,
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135. even if it does have
your picture on it.
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136. Oh, no. Jackie.
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137. Ahh...
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138. Tohru, hiya.
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139. Yeah, hiya.
Hiya.
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140. We must find
the talisman.
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141. How do we know chan and
the girl aren't still at sea?
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142. Jackie!
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143. Oh, Jackie!
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144. Jackie!
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145. There she is.
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146. Jackie.
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147. Jackie!
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148. Ohh...
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149. Jackie...
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150. Jackie...
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151. Jackie, you are shipwrecked.
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152. Yes, uncle, shipwrecked.
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153. One more thing—
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154. Jade has
the monkey talisman.
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155. Jade's a good girl.
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156. One more thing—
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157. bad men are chasing her.
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158. She needs your help.
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159. Now!
Ow.
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160. Jackie!
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161. Jade.
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162. Duh, the "turn things into
other things" talisman.
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163. Turn this log
into a death ray.
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164. Waah! That's a manta ray.
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165. Change it back!
Change it back!
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166. Guess it
only does animals.
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167. In that case,
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168. how about I get
these rats off my tail?
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169. Ratso?
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170. Whoa.
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171. The talisman.
Huh? Right?
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172. Aardvark.
Hippo. Giraffe.
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173. Gotta hide. Gotta hide.
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174. Double duh.
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175. Make a monkey out of me.
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176. Where'd she go?
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177. This way, I think.
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178. Whew, close call.
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179. Ok, change me back.
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180. Not good.
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181. Way not good.
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182. Aaaaaahhhhhh!
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183. Hello, Jade.
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184. You're a monkey.
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185. Nyah-nyah.
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186. Aah!
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187. Hey, I don't get it.
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188. She just disappeared.
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189. Yo, talisman
at 9:00.
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190. A monkey's got it.
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191. Grab the chimp.
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192. Hey, Mr. muggs.
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193. I've gotta get
that talisman back,
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194. wherever it is.
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195. Jade!
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196. Jackie.
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197. Jade.
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198. Jade!
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199. Jade!
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200. A giraffe?
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201. We drifted
all the way to Africa?
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202. Jade.
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203. Tohru.
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204. Aah! Aah!
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205. Jackie, those dark hand
guys were after me,
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206. so I turned myself
into a monkey,
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207. and then this other monkey
took the talisman.
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208. Shoo. Go away.
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209. Duh. Monkeys
don't speak English.
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210. Ok, first word—
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211. sounds like...
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212. Maid.
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213. Uh, you seem like
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214. a very nice monkey,
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215. but I have to find my niece.
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216. Wait. Don't go.
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217. I'm not going to take
your picture.
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218. Yes.
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219. Me!
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220. Jade? You...
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221. You know where Jade is?
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222. Oh, an arrow.
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223. Oh, thank you,
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224. little monkey.
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225. No.
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226. Hey! Put me down.
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227. Jackie!
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228. Jackie!
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229. Let me go. Let me go.
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230. Hey, whoa. What are
you doing? Eww!
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231. Eww! Check, please.
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232. Guess that means
"bye-bye" in monkey.
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233. Heh. Guess not.
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234. Oh... This is the last time
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235. I follow directions
from a monkey.
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236. Don't move.
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237. Stay right there.
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238. That's it, bonzo.
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239. Nobody's gonna hurt you.
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240. Hyah! Stop.
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241. The monkey.
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242. Gaah.
Where is Jade?
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243. Ratso.
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244. That's ratso?
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245. Tell me what you've
done with Jade,
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246. or ratso gets it.
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247. Ohh, calm down, dude.
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248. We were chasing her,
that's all.
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249. The kid zapped ratso,
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250. and the next thing we know,
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251. that monkey
had the talisman.
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252. Jade turned ratso into a rat
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253. and herself into a monkey?
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254. I'm a monkey's uncle.
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255. Jade!
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256. The girl's the monkey
with the talisman? Whoa.
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257. Aah! Gaah! Unh.
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258. Hmm.
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259. Jade!
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260. Oh, Jade.
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261. Here, Jade.
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262. It's me. Jackie.
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263. Ach, Jade.
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264. Yo, Tarzan.
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265. Unh. J—
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266. Jade, quit
fooling around.
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267. Stop it.
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268. I don't need a bath.
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269. Later, mom.
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270. Jade.
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271. Sorry, Jade.
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272. This is for your own good.
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273. Change her back.
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274. Jade, did you break
the talisman?
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275. Hand over the rock.
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276. Here goes nothing.
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277. Ooh.
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278. Hey there.
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279. Talisman works just fine.
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280. I say we turn him
into a dog. I like dogs.
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281. Why would you wanna turn him
into something you like?
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282. A cat, then.
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283. Ah, cats are too snooty.
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284. How about a cockroach?
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285. We can stomp him.
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286. An emu.
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287. Yeah. What's an emu?
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288. Don't know.
Sounds good.
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289. Perhaps an animal
we can eat.
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290. Hmm... Chicken
a la chan.
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291. No! That would make you
cannibals.
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292. Change me back.
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293. Hi, Jackie.
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294. Jade. Then who are you?
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295. The talisman.
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296. Elephant.
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297. Aah, Jade! Bad move,
bad move, bad move.
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298. Uh, got it covered.
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299. Once a rat...
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300. Jackie.
Change him back.
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301. Hey, gimme, gimme, gimme.
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302. Gaah!
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303. You're a flamingo.
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304. Kangaroo.
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305. Huh?
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306. Good choice.
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307. Change me back.
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308. Jack—
rabbit.
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309. Unh.
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310. Change me back.
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311. Hope this means
what I think it means.
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312. Aaaahhhh!
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313. Aaaahhhh!
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314. Hey, cut that out.
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315. Ooh-ooh.
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316. Hi, mom.
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317. Mom?
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318. Welcome to the family.
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319. Ms.
Now it's Jade's turn
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320. to give her report.
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321. Ahem. On my day at work,
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322. uncle Jackie and I went
scuba diving for artifacts,
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323. but a big storm kicked up,
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324. and we wound up
shipwrecked.
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325. Yeah, right.
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326. And there were
these monkeys and...
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327. Ahem.
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328. To uncover artifacts,
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329. the archeologist
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330. digs in the dirt
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331. with little, tiny brushes,
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332. being very careful
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333. not to damage anything.
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334. Hey, Jackie,
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335. do you have any pets?
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336. I love pets.
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337. Very, very good
for the human.
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338. If your partner
is your friends—
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339. if you have a pet, you have
him with you every day.
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340. I remember long time ago,
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341. I have 3 Saint bernards.
Big dog.
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342. I love big one.
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343. The problem is,
all those years,
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344. I been traveling around
making movies.
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345. 6 months later,
when I coming back,
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346. I said, "nuh nuh nuh,"
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347. he bite me. He don't
listen me anymore.
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348. So it's no good.
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349. But later on,
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350. when I retire,
settle down, yes.
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