Jackass 2x8

Directed by

Manny Puig as Self • Knate Gwaltney as Self • Gary Leffew as Self • Dimitry Elyashkevich as Self • Sean Cliver as Self

1. Bike Dive - 2. The Matador - 3. Bam Sledding - 4. Human Handrail - 5. Party Boy Bull Riding - 6. Bobbing For Jellyfish - 7. Preston Knocked Out - 8. High Dive 2 - 9. Water Gun Alarm Clock - 10. Hand Off - 11. Extreme - 12. Wet Dream - 13. Raab Buffing The Ice - 14. Ice Blocking - 15. Shower With Granny

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!req Jackass 2x8 [02:32]
!req Jackass 2x8 [Jackass 2x8]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Jackass 2x8 [10-11]; !req Jackass 2x8 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, welcome to Jackass.

2. Come wash my back!

3. We're back in Nipomo, California

4. at the Gary Leffew Bull Riding School,

5. where today I'm— .

6. I feel pretty.

7. What do you think his chances are?

8. How many matadors do you train?

9. Aw, just a few.

10. - Yeah? - Yeah.

11. Ever been gored?

12. - Oh, they all get gored? - Yeah?

13. - Every one of 'em. - That's great.

14. Do it long enough, you're gonna get it.

15. - Don't stand like this, okay? - Yeah.

16. Because he's gonna see you and he's gonna miss the cape

17. and come right to you.

18. So you're gonna stand right behind the cape

19. till the last minute and then you'll just step to the side

20. and leave the— leave the cape...

21. - Right. - ... where you were, see?

22. Have you ever capped a bull before?

23. No, actually, I haven't—

24. Great.

25. So he's telling me how to cape a bull

26. and— and he's never done it before.

27. Hey!

28. Okay, and then another thing you—

29. don't always go the same way,

30. he's gonna figure it out.

31. Was I keep going to the— my left?

32. - Yup. - Okay.

33. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

34. He's good, huh?

35. If you take more than four steps and he's behind you,

36. cut one way and just pray.

37. What do you think his chances are?

38. Slim... slim to none.

39. - Slim to none. - Slim to none.

40. Better get a will.

41. I'm Johnny Knoxville

42. and today I'm going to be a matador.

43. Go ahead.

44. Move!

45. Come back to you!

46. Whoa... olé!

47. Here, here, here.

48. That's supposed to be the meanest bull here

49. but he's kind of the smallest too and he's very quick.

50. And they said the longer you fight him,

51. the more he'll figure you out,

52. and I guess he figured me out pretty quick.

53. And now I'm gonna try one of the biggest bulls here,

54. and he ain't too nice either.

55. Whoa, whoa!

56. Wha... whoa!

57. You all right?

58. Your vault over the fence was what went wrong.

59. But he nicked me, why did he nick me?

60. I don't think it was a mistake,

61. it's more you was working him close.

62. I got too close?

63. No, that was where you wanna be.

64. But I just forgot to move out of the way?

65. Well, you just got a nick.

66. He didn't hit you hard enough to hurt you.

67. That showed true sack.

68. Yeah.

69. Oh!

70. Party Boy's about to be calf-roped and branded

71. with finger paint.

72. All right, I'm Party Boy.

73. Getting ready to break out of my pen and party.

74. Let's party!

75. Yee-ha!

76. Gonna be performing an exotic dance

77. for this angry bull.

78. What's this bull's name?

79. Jeffrey Dahmer.

80. Party Boy is so up on the fence

81. as soon as that gate opens.

82. I'm Judd Leffew...

83. and I'm here to dance with the Party Boy.

84. Let's go, man!

85. Hey, Party Boy, quit being a little bitch about it

86. and get down there with him!

87. If I go down, what are the chances

88. of that bull trying to have his way with me?

89. 100%.

90. All right.

91. I'm Steve-O

92. and this is bobbing for jellyfish.

93. So, seriously, Manny, how bad of an idea is

94. bobbing for jellyfish?

95. It's a very bad idea.

96. The jellyfish are poisonous, they sting real hard,

97. and the poison is intended to do bodily harm.

98. That's how they kill things with it.

99. What's the— the treatment

100. for when you get stung by a jellyfish?

101. It is said that if you use ammonia it helps it.

102. So when you're offshore, the most readily available

103. ammonia is urine.

104. You know, you piss and pour it on

105. and that's supposed to— supposed to fix it.

106. Damn it, it's time to start peeing into a gallon jug.

107. I have the pee jug.

108. Yeah.

109. See how much I can load up in there.

110. All right, let's go get some jellyfish.

111. Get a good one?

112. That one's got it going on.

113. I'm Steve-O

114. and this is bobbing for jellyfish.

115. Oh, that's gotta hurt, that's gotta hurt.

116. Aye...

117. Ahh!

118. Okay, yeah, he got me!

119. Ahh!

120. Oh, don't spit on the camera!

121. Oh... yup, yup, yup.

122. And it looks like it doesn't feel good.

123. Yeah, it hurts, it sucks.

124. I didn't even know if he was getting me or not

125. and then I— I started to feel it

126. and now I'm starting to feel it more.

127. It's all red.

128. It hurt— it hurts along here.

129. You're all red.

130. That'll start to welt up in about, like,

131. 20 minutes, half hour.

132. Oh...

133. For sure that it will.

134. Ahh...

135. Yeah it's only, like— yeah, my— actually,

136. my whole face is killing me.

137. They're really hard to bounce.

138. There he is.

139. Okay, you can see— let him spread out a little bit.

140. Oh, oh, oh!

141. That's— that's the inner part there, that's the part—

142. That's the part that's gonna kick my ass.

143. Yeah, that's the inside part there.

144. This is the jellyfish yarmulke.

145. Oh, don't fall over.

146. Uh, yup.

147. Oh...

148. Looks good.

149. Don't throw him over, throw him in the bucket!

150. I'm— I'm done, I'm done.

151. Guys, do not try this at home.

152. As you can see, Steve-O here is in very a great pain.

153. This can be extremely dangerous.

154. You definitely don't wanna do this.

155. Bad idea, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.

156. Let me pour some pee on myself.

157. Okay, close your mouth and your nose.

158. - Yeah, yeah. - Don't let it get in your nose.

159. Ahh...

160. Oh...

161. Manny, don't...

162. No, no, no, I...

163. Okay, we're done with the jellyfish,

164. so I'm gonna release these creatures back into the ocean.

165. You think— you don't think we harmed any of them, do you?

166. No.

167. - I think they harmed you.

168. I woke up and my face was flat on the ground

169. and I thought I fell.

170. Terrible, ugh...

171. Oh!

172. Yoo-hoo!

173. And these guys are lifeguards of the facility here...

174. but I am the personal lifeguard of these daredevils,

175. and if they step on my feet while I'm guarding,

176. they are the ones that are gonna need rescuing.

177. Yeah!

178. Your ass is hanging out.

179. I see a little Wee crack.

180. Whoa.

181. That's no Wee ass, I've gotta tell ya.

182. Yeah.

183. That was nice.

184. Too much information but quite funny.

185. Whoa, this is scary.

186. Oh,

187. This is scary

188. and there's no way down except just dropping.

189. Oh, my God.

190. On his back from the ten meter, dude.

191. It was a good day.

192. Luckily, these lifeguards stayed out of my way

193. while I was making my saves and nobody had to get hurt.

194. when I'm with my wife.

195. Now?

196. Man.

197. Oh,

198. Forward or back?

199. Back.

200. Okay.

201. I'd like to call this one hand off.

202. Can you guys come here?

203. I was just jacking up my car

204. and it fell on my hand.

205. It's not going anywhere.

206. Hey, hold on. I got my keys.

207. I locked them in the car right there.

208. No, ma'am, it's okay.

209. I think we're gonna get it here.

210. I think we'll get it.

211. - It's okay, it's okay.

212. It's okay. Ah. Ahh!

213. Oh,

214. - Pop the jack underneath.

215. I don't know what you're talking about.

216. Well, he's got the jack. He's found it, ahh!

217. Can you rub my back a little?

218. Call 911.

219. No, no, please, don't call 911.

220. - Go in peace, buddy.

221. Take it easy. Take it easy.

222. Ahh!

223. You want to come in and get in the shower then?

224. Extreme squared is this sport.

225. Combining rollerblading and skateboarding,

226. two of my all-time favorite extreme sports.

227. I'm gonna try surf BMXing after this.

228. jellyfish is going out.

229. A wet dream.

230. I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is ice block sledding.

231. - Raise you bat up? - Ahh!

232. - Guch... - Are there any big ones?

233. That one's good.

234. Yep.

235. The Guch is gonna enter the sledding for...

236. - Nice! Nice!

237. - Bumps on your ass. - Ohh!

238. Whoo!

239. Hold it.

240. Can I hose myself off or something?

241. - Yeah. - You guys got a hose?

242. You want to hose him off?

243. - Yeah, come on. - He's all yours.

244. Oh, Grandma!

245. Whoo!

246. Do the front.

247. Ahh!

248. You want to come in and get in the shower then?

249. Grandma's inviting you into the shower.

250. I would do that.

251. Are you gonna treat me to a bubble bath?

252. Yeah!

253. How did this all happen?

254. Ah, well, this is something you haven't done.

255. Oh, man.

256. Let him do that.

257. Oh, you kids are precious.

258. - Yeah, get in there. - Yeah, get there.

259. Well, this is...

260. this is worth a lot.

261. This is the Abe Lincoln beard of leeches.

262. Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth

263. on this continent a new nation...

264. Hi, I'm Party Boy.

265. I'm about to perform an exotic dance

266. with some wild bulls.

267. I sure am excited.

268. Yee-hoo!

269. - Uh-oh.

270. We ready?

271. Wait, let's get up on you.

272. Ooh, I feel your guch.

273. Oh,

274. Yeah.

275. What happened?

276. You got sack, man. You got sack.

277. Yeah, yeah.

278. - I should have brains, but...

279. - ... I got sack. - You got sack.