Jackass 1x5

Tony Hawk as Self • Jess Margera as Self • David Decurtis as Self • Norman Gary as Self • Trip Taylor as Self

1. Bee-kini - 2. Naked Mowing - 3. Night Monkey 1 - 4. Slingshot Pond - 5. Taxidermist - 6. Balls of Steel - 7. Pogo - 8. Naked Dave 2 - 9. Butt Stapling - 10. Sling Shot Skateboarding - 11. Mianus - 12. Cell Phone - 13. Night Monkey 2 - 14. Poo Dive

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. HI. I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE.

2. WELCOME TO "JACKASS."

3. COME WASH MY BACK!

4. I'VE BEEN WORKING WITH BEES

5. FOR 51 YEARS.

6. I BECAME CURIOUS ABOUT BEES,

7. LEARNED HOW TO BE A BEEKEEPER,

8. GOT MY Ph.D. IN THE FIELD.

9. NOW I'M GOING TO CAREFULLY PLACE

10. A FEW LITTLE DOTS OF SOLUTION.

11. NOW, WHAT'S THAT GOING TO DO?

12. IT'S GONNA BE—IT'S FOOD.

13. I'M MIXING UP ARTIFICIAL NECTAR.

14. SO, HOW MANY TIMES WOULD YOU

15. SAY YOU'VE BEEN STUNG?

16. JUST AN ESTIMATE, OVER A

17. 50-YEAR PERIOD, MAYBE 75,000

18. TIMES.

19. WHAT DOES THE SMOKE DO?

20. WELL, THE SMOKE CONFUSES,

21. DISORGANIZES THE BEES.

22. IF WE WERE TO BLOW THE SMOKE

23. ON MR. KNOXVILLE, WOULD IT

24. CONFUSE HIM?

25. HI.

26. CALLING.

27. RESULTS BACK FOR IF I'M ALLERGIC

28. TO HONEYBEES OR NOT.

29. I HAVE 10,000 BEES BESIDE ME.

30. OH, MY GOD.

31. AND I'M HOPING I'M NOT

32. ALLERGIC.

33. JOHNNY.

34. YES, MA'AM.

35. TOXIC DANGER OF ABOUT A 1+

36. LEVEL.

37. OK, SO I CAN TAKE

38. A FEW STINGS.

39. DO NOT PULL OUT THE STINGER.

40. YES, MA'AM.

41. I HAVE NORM HERE, SO WE SHOULD

42. BE ALL RIGHT.

43. DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?

44. YES, MA'AM.

45. WHAT DID I SAY?

46. YOU SAID DON'T PULL THE

47. STINGER OUT.

48. FLICK THE STINGER OUT.

49. DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?

50. YES, THANK YOU.

51. DON'T GET STUNG.

52. NO, MA'AM.

53. HIVE?

54. IS THIS A DUMB IDEA, NORM?

55. HELLO.

56. I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE,

57. AND THIS IS A BEEKINI.

58. MAYBE THEY'RE HUNGRY AGAIN.

59. SHUT UP, RICK.

60. HOW MANY DO I HAVE ON ME?

61. LET'S SAY 15,000.

62. THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH.

63. CLOSE ENOUGH.

64. LET'S GET THEM OFF.

65. JUST GET THEM OFF.

66. YOU DIDN'T FORGET HOW TO GET

67. THEM OFF, DID YOU?

68. JUST LAY ON THE GROUND AND

69. ROLL.

70. SHUT UP, RICK.

71. COME ON.

72. OK.

73. WELL, THEY'RE NOT LEAVING.

74. YES, THEY ARE.

75. AAH!

76. AAH! HOLY.

77. GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.

78. WHAT'S GOING ON?

79. LIKE THIS FOR, MAN?

80. AIN'T NOTHING LIKE

81. A DRUNK MONKEY, MAN.

82. DAMN.

83. GET BACK HERE!

84. GET BACK HERE!

85. GET BACK HERE!

86. GET BACK HERE!

87. COME HERE, YOU LITTLE BASTARD!

88. COME HERE!

89. AW, YOU DON'T KNOW

90. WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

91. OH, REALLY?

92. LIFT UP THE THING

93. A LITTLE BIT.

94. IT'S GOING TO NEED TO BE A

95. LITTLE BIT OFF TO THIS SIDE.

96. THAT CHAIR LOOKS SO RAD, MAN.

97. ACTUALLY, YEAH, I THINK IT IS

98. GOING TO WORK.

99. BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, IT TOOK A

100. RUBBER IN THERE, SO IT LOOKS

101. LIKE IT'S DEFINITELY GOING TO

102. WORK.

103. 1, 2, 3.

104. HA HA HA!

105. HE'S GOING TO DIE.

106. WHAT'S UP?

107. I'M BAM.

108. I'M RYAN.

109. AND WE'RE AT ARASAPHA

110. FARM, AND WE'RE GOING TO DO THE

111. IDIOT LAUNCH.

112. 2, 3, GO.

113. OH,

114. 1, 2, 3.

115. OH, IT STINKS SO BAD.

116. GO!

117. HE HELD ON. LET GO!

118. I'M TELLING YOU, IT WOULDN'T

119. MATTER IF I HELD ON OR NOT.

120. I'LL DO IT AGAIN WITHOUT

121. HOLDING ON.

122. IF YOU WOULD HAVE JUST GONE.

123. HUH?

124. IF YOU WOULD HAVE JUST GONE.

125. GO.

126. UGH.

127. SICK.

128. YOU ALL RIGHT?

129. I MEAN, DID IT EVEN

130. LOOK ALL RIGHT?

131. WHAT DO YOU SAY WE JUST TRY

132. ONE MORE?

133. IT DOESN'T WORK.

134. LET'S JUST GO.

135. OK, HERE WE GO.

136. AH! HA HA HA HA!|||||||||||||

137. WE'RE GOING TO WALK INTO A

138. TAXIDERMY AND SEE IF THEY'LL

139. STUFF AND MOUNT MY GRANDMOTHER.

140. HI. MY NAME'S JOHNNY.

141. THIS IS MY GRANDMOTHER DOROTHY.

142. HOW YOU DOING?

143. HI, KITTY.

144. WOW.

145. OH, A LIVE ONE HERE.

146. YEAH.

147. MY GRANDMOTHER—

148. SHE'S GOING TO BE PASSING AWAY.

149. UH-HUH.

150. AND WE WANTED TO COME AND

151. WOULD STUFF AND MOUNT HER.

152. YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

153. IT'S ILLEGAL, FOR ONE THING.

154. WELL, WE HAVE CALLS IN TO

155. THE BOARD OF HEALTH, AND WE'RE

156. IT, BUT WE'RE JUST SEEING ON A

157. OR YOU'D BE WILLING TO DO THAT.

158. I WOULDN'T HAVE THE FIRST

159. I...

160. MOUNTING WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM.

161. IT WOULD BE CURING THE SKIN.

162. WE WANT HER IN A REALLY

163. GRANDCHILDREN.

164. OH, GOD, YOU KNOW.

165. I DON'T KNOW.

166. THAT WOULD BE REALLY SOMETHING.

167. THE FACE WOULD BE SO HARD TO DO.

168. RIGHT.

169. I CAN'T IMAGINE.

170. WELL, IF HER EYES LOOK FUNNY,

171. SUNGLASSES.

172. I'VE HAD A LOT OF WEIRD

173. THINGS IN 22 YEARS, BUT NEVER

174. HAD THAT YET.

175. HI. HOW ARE YOU?

176. FINE. HOW YOU DOING?

177. GOOD.

178. GOOD.

179. MY NAME'S JOHNNY.

180. THIS IS MY GRANDMOTHER DOTTIE.

181. HI.

182. MY BROTHER JEFF.

183. PLEASED TO MEET Y'ALL.

184. MY GRANDMOTHER—SHE DOESN'T

185. HAVE AN AWFUL LOT OF YEARS LEFT,

186. FAMILY'S WISH THAT WE'RE GOING

187. GRANDMOTHER HERE.

188. HI, DOTTIE.

189. OK, THERE IS A SENSITIVE MATTER

190. AND THE LEGALITIES—I'M NOT

191. PEOPLE.

192. HERE.

193. HE'S BEEN IN THE BUSINESS NOW

194. FOR A LONG TIME.

195. HE MIGHT HAVE HAD THAT REQUEST.

196. THIS MOOSE—HOW NATURAL IT

197. LOOKS.

198. I'D LIKE TO CAPTURE SOMETHING

199. LIKE THIS FOR GRANDMA.

200. I'D LIKE TO SEE WHAT PRICE

201. YOU GUYS WOULD CHARGE.

202. YOU'RE PROBABLY LOOKING

203. AROUND 20,000 OR SOMETHING.

204. AND 20 GRAND IS, LIKE, A

205. ROUGH ESTIMATE FOR RIGHT NOW?

206. VERY ROUGH.

207. VERY ROUGH.

208. NOW, IS THERE A SMELL GOING

209. TO BE INVOLVED WITH... I MEAN,

210. DOWN THE LINE?

211. YOU'D KEEP HER DUSTED AND

212. STUFF.

213. OH, OF COURSE.

214. SORRY, MOM.

215. I'M SORRY.

216. THANK YOU.

217. WHAT HAPPENS TO HER ENTRAILS

218. ONCE THAT YOU...

219. WE DON'T EVEN DEAL WITH THAT.

220. I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO

221. HEAR THE DETAILS.

222. YEAH, I'M SORRY.

223. LET'S JUST GET THE CARD AND GO.

224. WE GAVE HIM 3.

225. OK, GOOD.

226. DOTTIE, IT WAS A PLEASURE

227. MEETING YOU.

228. NICE MEETING YOU.

229. NICE MEETING YOU.

230. YOU'VE GOT BALLS OF BIG

231. STEEL, AND YOU AIN'T TAKING

232. FROM NOBODY.

233. NO.

234. NO, YOU AIN'T TAKING.

235. THE HAS HIT THE FAN.

236. WHAT, HELL.

237. OH!

238. OH!

239. YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP IT HERE

240. BIG TIME, BIG TIME

241. WELL, THE KID WON'T STOP, BUT

242. IT'S REALLY HOPPING

243. OH!

244. OH!

245. OH!

246. WHO YOU GONNA HURT SOME MORE?

247. 4, 5, 6, 7

248. THERE'S NO STOPPING THINGS FROM

249. YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP IT HERE

250. COME BACK HERE!

251. GET BACK HERE!

252. GET BACK HERE!

253. COME BACK HERE!

254. I'M GOING TO NEED YOU TO, UH,

255. THIS WAY.

256. WHAT DOES YOUR ASS SAY?

257. YOUR NAME.

258. I GOT "YOUR NAME" TATTOOED

259. ON MY ASS.

260. YEAH.

261. OK.

262. HERE WE GO.

263. THIS IS SO GAY, A GAY JOKE.

264. THAT DOES IT.

265. I FOUND MY WAY.

266. YOU'RE NOT CIRCUMCISED?

267. NO, DUDE.

268. I THINK I'M JUST CURVED AROUND.

269. OH, OK.

270. THIS ONE'S REALLY GOING TO

271. HURT.

272. IT'S RIGHT ON THE CRACK.

273. OH, DUDE, BE CAREFUL, DUDE.

274. BE CAREFUL.

275. I'M TALKING TO IT.

276. THE FIRST ONES ARE GETTING

277. SORE.

278. AAH! HA HA HA!

279. THEY'RE NOT FEELING SO BAD

280. GOING IN.

281. AHHH, YEAH.

282. OK, NOW TURN AROUND.

283. LET'S SEE WHAT WE GOT.

284. OH, GOD.

285. NO, WAIT, WAIT.

286. WE GOT TO TAPE THE WARNING ON.

287. YOU CAN STICK IT IN HERE,

288. DUDE.

289. YOU CAN STICK IT RIGHT THERE.

290. OH!

291. WELL, I MEAN, THIS HURTS, YOU

292. KNOW?

293. COME ON. DON'T DO THAT.

294. COME ON. COME ON. STOP.

295. WILL YOU STOP?||||||||||||||||||

296. EVERYBODY READY.

297. GOING.

298. SO, WE'VE DRIVEN 5 HOURS FROM

299. PHILADELPHIA.

300. IT SHOULD HAVE TAKEN US 3,

301. JAIME, AND WE'RE IN

302. CONNECTICUT, AND WE'RE LOOKING

303. FOR MIANUS.

304. MIANUS?

305. YEAH.

306. RIGHT TURN.

307. THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO DO.

308. IS MIANUS A BIG PLACE?

309. WELL, I'VE NEVER BEEN THERE.

310. IT IS DOWN THERE, BUT I'VE NEVER

311. BEEN THERE.

312. DAMN, MAN.

313. LOOK, THERE'S A TEPEE IN

314. MIANUS.

315. THERE'S A BIG RED TRUCK IN

316. MIANUS.

317. AND WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT?

318. THERE'S A GENERAL STORE IN

319. MIANUS.

320. MILK IN MIANUS?

321. MM-HMM.

322. WHAT'S THE BEST MEAT IN

323. MIANUS?

324. WELL, THERE'S BANGERS,

325. THERE'S STEAK AND KIDNEY PIES,

326. STEAK AND BANGER PIES.

327. THERE'S A LITTLE JACK RUSSELL

328. TERRIER IN MIANUS.

329. LOOK, RICK'S PUMPING IN MIANUS.

330. THERE'S A SEWAGE PLANT IN

331. MIANUS, AND IT STINKS.

332. WHAT'S THE ODDEST THING YOU'VE

333. FOUND IN THE SEWAGE IN MIANUS?

334. LEAVES AND THINGS, AND

335. WILL POP UP IN THE SCREEN.

336. DO YOU EVER CATCH ANY BROWN

337. TROUT IN MIANUS?

338. I HAVEN'T SEEN ANY.

339. WHAT'S THERE TO DO FOR FUN IN

340. MIANUS?

341. IT'S A PRETTY SMALL TOWN.

342. FENCES.

343. THERE'S A LOT OF FAMOUS

344. PEOPLE THAT LIVE IN MIANUS?

345. MEL GIBSON HAS A HOUSE UP

346. HERE.

347. MEL GIBSON HAS A HOUSE IN

348. MIANUS?

349. WHOOPI GOLDBERG, I BELIEVE,

350. HAS A HOUSE UP HERE.

351. OH, I JUST LOVE WHOOPI

352. GOLDBERG.

353. THAT'S COOL.

354. MIANUS.

355. YEAH.

356. I WISH I COULD LIVE HERE.

357. YOU DON'T LIVE IN MIANUS?

358. I LIVE JUST OUTSIDE OF—

359. YOU COMMUTE TO MIANUS?

360. YEAH, I COMMUTE IN.

361. WOW. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

362. I THINK WE GOT EVERYTHING.

363. THAT WAS GREAT.

364. GET BACK HERE!

365. COME HERE!

366. YOU LITTLE BASTARD, COME HERE!

367. GET BACK HERE!

368. YOU'RE JUST FILLED WITH

369. EXCUSES.

370. IT'S LIKE A JOKE.

371. LAUGH AT.

372. IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO STOP ME

373. FROM GETTING MAD, AND THAT'S

374. WHAT I'M GETTING.

375. I'M GETTING VERY, VERY ANGRY.

376. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD GET?

377. YOU SHOULD GET A GLASS STOMACH.

378. THAT WAY YOU WON'T HAVE TO WORRY

379. YOUR ASS.

380. YOU CAN SEE WHERE YOU'RE GOING

381. THEN.

382. MAYBE YOU'LL GET SOMETHING DONE.

383. THERE'S NOT EVEN ANY TONER IN

384. THE COPYING MACHINE.

385. THERE'S NO COFFEE, NOTHING.

386. NO!

387. I'M SERIOUS!

388. UGGGGHHH!

389. AAHHHHH!

390. AAH!

391. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE NOW?

392. I'M BLEEDING OUT MY EAR,

393. SO ANGRY YOU'VE MADE ME!

394. AAH!

395. OFFICE!

396. AHHH! YOU'RE FIRED!

397. JUST PACK UP YOUR STUFF AND GO!

398. AAH!

399. ARE YOU NEWS OR WHAT?

400. WHAT HAP—WHAT DID YOU SEE?

401. WELL, HE THREW HIS COCKEYED

402. CELL PHONE DOWN.

403. THE FIRST THING I KNOW, HE JUST

404. WENT CRAZY.

405. IT LOOKED LIKE THERE

406. WAS BLOOD.

407. IT LOOKS LIKE IT TO ME.

408. YOU THINK HE'S ALL RIGHT?

409. I DON'T KNOW.

410. GOOD GRIEF.

411. MAKING A NUISANCE OF HISSELF.

412. DO YOU THINK HE'S HURT?

413. IN THE HEAD HE IS—

414. NOT OUTSIDE BUT IN.

415. I'M BAM MARGERA, AND I FEEL

416. LIKE KICKING MY DAD'S ASS

417. ALL DAY TODAY.

418. HUH?

419. SON?

420. SON.

421. COME ON, BAM.

422. YOU LITTLE WUSS.

423. JERK. STOP IT!

424. COME ON. DON'T DO THAT.

425. WOULD YOU STOP?

426. HEY, STOP IT.

427. I AIN'T HITTING YOU.

428. THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

429. COME ON, BAM.

430. YOU KNOW MY STOMACH'S SORE.

431. JUST STOP.

432. IT'S ENOUGH.

433. BOO, DID YOU JUST CALL ME?

434. HOW COME YOU HUNG UP?

435. STOP, BAM. I'M ON THE PHONE.

436. STOP IT!

437. I'M GOING TO HAVE TO KICK THE

438. CAMERA OUT OF HIS HAND.

439. HOW'S HE LIKE THAT?

440. BYE-BYE, CAMERA.

441. WHOO-HOO! HA HA!

442. WHAT ARE MY CHANCES TODAY IN

443. RIDING MR. MEAN?

444. SLIM AND NONE.

445. SLIM AND NONE.

446. SLIM AND NONE.

447. OH, GO. GO. GO OUTSIDE!

448. GO OUTSIDE! GO OUTSIDE!

449. GO OUTSIDE! GO OUTSIDE!

450. WHY? WHAT'S THE MATTER?

451. GO OUTSIDE! GO OUTSIDE!

452. I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO LIVE

453. IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD AFTER THIS.

454. HEY, MONEY, YOU GOT AN EXTRA

455. BANANA ON YOU?

456. THANKS, BUDDY.

457. HEY, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME

458. YOU HAD A TETANUS SHOT?

459. ONE OF THE LAST DOZEN TIMES

460. I'VE BEEN IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM.

461. OW! THAT'S SERIOUSLY KILLING!

462. UHH!

463. OW! MY HEAD!

464. I HATE CELL PHONES!

465. WHAT DO PEOPLE EAT

466. THE MOST OF OUT OF MIANUS? 3 F1