Jackass 1x2

Pat Roach as Self • David Decurtis as Self • Ryan Gee as Self • Loomis Fall as Self • Nigel Hudson as Self

1. Johnny and the Alligator - 2. Doctor's Visit - 3. Roller Jump - 4. Pillow Fight - 5. Blind Driver - 6. Naked Dave - 7. Tree Jumper - 8. Human B-B-Q - 9. Pontius Skating - 10. Dave's Door Stopper - 11. Urban Kayaking - 12. Boxing - 13. Bran's Vase - 14. Jockstrap Rollerblading - 15. Goldfish Trick - 16. Zoo Monkey

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!req Jackass 1x2 [02:32]
!req Jackass 1x2 [Jackass 1x2]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Jackass 1x2 [10-11]; !req Jackass 1x2 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. COME.

2. COME, COME, COME, COME, COME.

3. COME, COME, COME, COME, COME. BOO.

4. BOO.

5. HI, I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE.

6. WELCOME TO "JACKASS".

7. THIS!

8. THIS!

9. COME WASH MY BACK!

10. RIGHT NOW, I'M GOING TO GO TALK

11. TO THE SKUNK LADY.

12. I PLAN ON GETTING SPRAYED HERE

13. IN A LITTLE WHILE, AND I HAVE

14. SOME QUESTIONS FOR HER.

15. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SPRAYED BY A

16. SKUNK?

17. NEVER.

18. A FULL-ON SPRAY IS VERY

19. NAUSEATING.

20. OF COURSE, IT GOES AWAY.

21. IT BURNS LIKE MACE.

22. IT SMELLS.

23. I MEAN, IT'S GOING TO BE

24. NAUSEATING FOR EVERYBODY.

25. AND IT'S ALL LOCATED AROUND

26. THEIR HINDQUARTERS?

27. IT'S IN THEIR ANUS.

28. THERE'S TWO, LIKE, MARBLES.

29. THEY CAN ACTUALLY GO...

30. I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE AND I'M

31. ABOUT TO GET SPRAYED BY A SKUNK.

32. HELLO.

33. HELLO, MR. SKUNK.

34. HI, MR. SKUNK.

35. HOW ARE YOU?

36. COME HERE, SKUNK—

37. AH!

38. WHOA-OW!

39. OH!

40. LET HIM OUT.

41. WELL, DAMN IT, I'M TRYING TO.

42. OK.

43. OW!

44. HE, DAMN IT!

45. AH,

46. DAMN IT!

47. AH,

48. DAMN IT!

49. OH,

50. OH, I CAN SMELL IT.

51. SO THAT'S 5 SQUIRTS.

52. HE'S GOT TO BE OUT AFTER THE

53. NEXT ONE, RIGHT?

54. YES.

55. RICK, KEEP FILMING.

56. RICK, KEEP FILMING.

57. ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE FREE.

58. AH, HE DID IT AGAIN!

59. OH, MY GOD.

60. HOW DO YOU SMELL?

61. WELL, LIKE A DAMN SKUNK.

62. WELL, LIKE A DAMN SKUNK. HOW DO YOU THINK I SMELL?

63. HOW DO YOU THINK I SMELL?

64. I DON'T WANT TO GO ANYWHERE

65. NEAR HIM.

66. IT SMELLS TOO—WAY TOO BAD.

67. CAN WJUST, LIKE, KEEP ONE

68. OF THESE DOORS OPEN?

69. OF THESE DOORS OPEN?

70. I JUST HAD A TOUGH DAY

71. TODAY.

72. LOOK, MAN...

73. I GOT ELECTROCUTED, AND THEN I

74. GOT SKUNK ALL OVER ME.

75. LEAVE ME ALONE, ALL RIGHT?

76. NOW YOU NEED TO TAKE A BATH

77. IN TOMATO JUICE TO GET THAT

78. IN TOMATO JUICE TO GET THAT SMELL OFF.

79. SMELL OFF.

80. SMELL OFF. OH, OOW!

81. OH, OOW!

82. ALL RIGHT, TRIP, YOU FOLLOW

83. BLIND GUY.

84. YOU STAY ON THE CAR BANGING.

85. YEP.

86. AND YOU JUST STAY WITH BLIND

87. GUY.

88. YOU STAY WITH HIM ALL THE WAY

89. OUT OF FRAME.

90. BIKES UP HERE.

91. WRITE "BIKE".

92. CAN YOU DO THE CAR?

93. OH, HERE'S THE CARS.

94. HERE'S BLIND MAN'S CAR.

95. HERE'S THE EXPEDITION.

96. RIGHT MY NAME DOWN ON THERE.

97. GETS IN HERE.

98. BOM-BOM, BOM-BOM, BOM-BOM.

99. OUT—

100. CRASH.

101. CRASH.

102. I'M OVER HERE JUST GETTING THE

103. CRASH AGAIN.

104. THE BIKES COMING FROM...

105. WHAT DO YOU WANT?

106. JUST—YOU WANT ME TO GET

107. REACTIONS, THAT'S IT?

108. I THINK WE SHOULD ALL FILM

109. THE CRASH, THEN REACTIONS.

110. RICK, YOU ARE...

111. I DON'T KNOW.

112. I DON'T KNOW. YOU REMEMBER WHERE HE WAS?

113. YOU REMEMBER WHERE HE WAS?

114. YOU REMEMBER WHERE HE WAS? EXCUSE ME.

115. EXCUSE ME.

116. IS THAT YOUR CAR OVER THERE?

117. IS THAT YOUR CAR OVER THERE?

118. WHOA, WHOA!

119. OW—GOD!

120. OUCH!

121. OH, GOD!

122. HE JUST HIT HIM!

123. V-C-C-6-7-8.

124. THAT GUY'S LIKE...

125. I'M CALLING 911.

126. HE WAS STOPPED...

127. THERE'S A BLIND GUY IN THE

128. THERE'S A BLIND GUY IN THE CAR.

129. CAR.

130. CAR.

131. I'M BAM MARGERA, AND I FEEL

132. LIKE KICKING MY DAD'S ASS ALL

133. LIKE KICKING MY DAD'S ASS ALL DAY TODAY.

134. DAY TODAY.

135. HUH?

136. WHAT'S HAPPENING?

137. WHAT HAPPENED?

138. COME ON, BAM.

139. I HAVE TO GO TO WORK, JERK OFF!

140. STOP IT!

141. COME ON, I GOTTA DO A LOT OF

142. WORK ONE TIME.

143. WILL YOU STOP?

144. STOP IT!

145. STOP IT! HEY, YOU HIT ME IN THE NUTS!

146. HEY, YOU HIT ME IN THE NUTS!

147. THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

148. COME ON, BAM.

149. YOU KNOW MY SHOULDER'S SORE.

150. JUST STOP.

151. IT'S ENOUGH.

152. BO, DID YOU JUST CALL ME?

153. HOW COME YOU HUNG UP?

154. STOP, BAM!

155. I'M ON THE PHONE.

156. STOP IT!

157. I'M ABOUT TO KICK THE CAMERA OUT

158. OF HIS HAND.

159. HOW DOES HE LIKE THAT?

160. BYE-BYE, CAMERA!

161. WOO-HOO!

162. WOO-HOO!

163. DOOMPADAH DEE

164. IF YOU ARE WISE

165. IF YOU ARE WISE

166. I'M RYAN DUNN.

167. I'M ABOUT TO HIT SOME HAGGARD

168. I'M ABOUT TO HIT SOME HAGGARD BACKWOODS CRAP.

169. BACKWOODS CRAP.

170. BACKWOODS CRAP.

171. I HIT MY NUTS!

172. I HIT MY NUTS!

173. DOOMPADEE DOO

174. I'VE GOT A PERFECT

175. PUZZLE FOR YOU

176. OOMPA LOOMPA

177. DOOMPADAH DEE

178. IF YOU ARE WISE

179. YOU'LL LISTEN TO ME

180. OOMPA LOOMPA

181. DOOMPADEE DOO

182. I'VE GOT A PERFECT

183. PUZZLE FOR YOU

184. OOMPA LOOMPA

185. DOOMPADAH DEE

186. IF YOU ARE WISE

187. COME

188. OF

189. DOOMPADEE DOO

190. I'VE GOT A PERFECT

191. PUZZLE FOR YOU

192. OOMPA LOOMPA

193. DOOMPADAH DEE

194. IF YOU ARE WISE

195. THANKS, BUDDY.

196. MY NAME IS RICHARD.

197. RICHARD?

198. YOU WILL GO FAR

199. YOU WILL LIVE IN

200. HAPPINESS, TOO

201. LIKE THE OOMPA LOOMPA

202. LIKE THE OOMPA LOOMPA

203. DOOMPADEE DO DOOMPADEE DO

204. WE GOING?

205. WE GOING?

206. CAN I JUMP IN WITH YOU GUYS?

207. COME ON, BITCH.

208. LOOK, HE JUST TOUCHED IT.

209. AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT

210. AND I KNOW

211. I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW

212. YEAH, I'M A REAL BONEHEAD

213. YEAH, I'M A REAL BONEHEAD WHEN IT COMES TO THESE THINGS.

214. WHEN IT COMES TO THESE THINGS.

215. WHAT'S HAPPENING?

216. TAKE IT EASY, MY FRIEND.

217. NO, I'M JUST LOOKING—

218. NO, NO, LISTEN, LISTEN, TAKE

219. IT EASY.

220. WHAT?

221. YEAH, I'M TRYING TO FIND A

222. YEAH, I'M TRYING TO FIND A GUITAR THAT STEVE VAI PLAYED.

223. GUITAR THAT STEVE VAI PLAYED.

224. YEAH, I CAN'T HAVE IT THAT

225. LOUD AGAIN.

226. LOUD AGAIN. OH, I'M SORRY, MAN.

227. OH, I'M SORRY, MAN.

228. NICE GYM TO GET A PUMP IN.

229. YEAH, EXACTLY.

230. ALL RIGHT, I'LL BUST THIS

231. OUT.

232. OH, THIS IS HARD.

233. BOW THAT BACK.

234. GET IT UP.

235. WHERE DO YOU GET SODAS

236. AROUND—OH, SHOOT!

237. NO PROBLEM.

238. SODAS?

239. DO YOU HAVE THIS SHOE IN 11?

240. YEAH.

241. I CAN ALMOST PULL THESE OFF

242. WITH SHORTS, HUH?

243. YOU CAN DO IT.

244. HEY, HEY

245. I THINK I LIKE IT

246. KEYAH!

247. YAH-HA!

248. YAH!

249. WHOO!

250. YAH!

251. DO YOU ALWAYS WALK AROUND

252. WITH YOUR STANDING UP?

253. OH, DUDE, I'M SORRY.

254. URBAN KAYAKING—IT'S A NEW

255. SPORT.

256. IT'S TAKING OVER.

257. IT'S PRETTY GOOD.

258. IT'S LIKE, YOU KNOW LIKE,

259. ROLLERBLADING FIRST HIT THE

260. SCENE WITH LIKE THE HOCKEY AT

261. FIRST?

262. THIS IS LIKE, YOU KNOW, KAYAKING

263. HIT THE SCENE ON THE WATER, AND

264. IN THE, LIKE, RIVERS, NATURE,

265. AND ALL THAT.

266. BUT WE'RE TAKING IT OUT OF

267. NATURE AND BRINGING IT TO THE

268. NATURE AND BRINGING IT TO THE CITY.

269. CITY.

270. ONE DAY IT HIT ME, AND I WAS

271. LIKE!

272. OOW, CRAP!

273. SO I KNOW THAT THERE'S A SUPER

274. SICK FOUNTAIN AROUND HERE

275. SOMEWHERE, MAN.

276. WE'RE GOING TO FIND IT AND WE'RE

277. WE'RE GOING TO FIND IT AND WE'RE GOING TO KILL IT.

278. GOING TO KILL IT.

279. URBAN KAYAKING!

280. WOO!

281. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF URBAN

282. KAYAKING?

283. OH, GREAT.

284. NATURE SUCKS ANYWAYS.

285. IT'S SO NICE TO GET OUT IN THE

286. CITY AND TAKE CARE OF SOME

287. SERIOUS BUSINESS.

288. I DON'T MEAN TO TOOT MY OWN

289. I DON'T MEAN TO TOOT MY OWN HORN, BUT BEEP-BEEP.

290. HORN, BUT BEEP-BEEP.

291. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF URBAN

292. KAYAKING?

293. OH, WE'RE GOING TO CREATE OUR

294. OWN BRAND OF URBAN KAYAK THAT'S

295. JUST GOING TO BE REALLY

296. CONDUCIVE TO THE SURROUNDING

297. URBAN NATURE OF THE—OUR SPORT.

298. THE GREAT PART IS YOU DON'T NEED

299. WATER.

300. IT'S NICE, BUT YOU DON'T NEED

301. IT.

302. IT. UK!

303. UK!

304. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF URBAN

305. KAYAKING?

306. THAT'S GREAT.

307. THAT'S GREAT. THAT LOOKS LIKE A RUSH.

308. THAT LOOKS LIKE A RUSH.

309. MAN, I'M BEAT.

310. LONG DAY OF URBAN KAYAKING IN

311. THE HOT SUN.

312. IT DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN

313. IT DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT.

314. THAT.

315. HI, I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE AND

316. THIS IS STEVE-O.

317. HE'S GETTING READY TO DO THE

318. HE'S GETTING READY TO DO THE GOLDFISH TRICK.

319. GOLDFISH TRICK.

320. WHAT DO YOU SAY WE TRY A

321. LITTLE BOXING?

322. I'M NIGEL "THE UK HAMMER"

323. HUDSON.

324. JOHNNY KNOXVILLE CHALLENGED ME

325. TO A FIGHT IN THE RING.

326. CRIPPLE OR NO CRIPPLE, HE'S

327. GOING DOWN.

328. THIS ONE'S FOR THE STARS AND

329. THIS ONE'S FOR THE STARS AND BARS.

330. BARS.

331. BARS. OH!

332. OH!

333. YOU EVER KILLED A GUY IN THE

334. RING?

335. AW—THAT'S GOOD.

336. YOU GOT ANY ADVICE FOR ME?

337. YOU GOT ANY ADVICE FOR ME? KEEP YOUR HANDS UP, BABY.

338. KEEP YOUR HANDS UP, BABY.

339. IN THE RED CORNER, WITH A

340. RECORD OF 80 FIGHTS, KNOCKED OUT

341. 65 TIMES, JOHNNY KNOXVILLE.

342. HIS OPPONENT, "THE UK HAMMER",

343. WITH A RECORD OF 2-0, NIGEL

344. HUDSON.

345. HI, I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE, AND

346. I'M ABOUT TO GET KNOCKED OUT.

347. I'M ABOUT TO GET KNOCKED OUT.

348. OW!

349. OW!

350. ALL RIGHT.

351. GO TO THE NEUTRAL CORNER.

352. ONE...

353. ONE... TWO...

354. TWO...

355. UGH!

356. OW!

357. THAT'S IT.

358. OH!

359. OH!

360. HOW'D I DO?

361. WINNER BY KNOCKOUT, IN 3

362. SECONDS OF THE FIRST ROUND,

363. NIGEL "THE HAMMER" HUDSON.

364. WOO!

365. THAT RAN MY RECORD TO 0-81

366. LIFETIME, WITH 66 KNOCKOUTS.

367. ALL IN ALL, I THINK IT WAS A

368. ALL IN ALL, I THINK IT WAS A SUCCESS.

369. SUCCESS.

370. OW!

371. OW!

372. YOW!

373. YOW!

374. GO HOME!

375. GO HOME!

376. WHAT'S UP, CHICKS?

377. HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?

378. YEAH!

379. YEAH! YEAH—HEH!

380. YEAH—HEH!

381. YEAH—HEH! OH, NO.

382. OH, NO.

383. OH, NO.

384. IS THAT ENOUGH?

385. IS THAT ENOUGH? THAT'S TOO MUCH.

386. THAT'S TOO MUCH.

387. HI, I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE AND

388. THIS IS STEVE-O.

389. HE'S GETTING READY TO DO THE

390. GOLDFISH TRICK.

391. NOW, NONE OF THESE FISH ARE

392. GOING TO BE HURT, ARE THEY?

393. NO.

394. I WANT TO SWALLOW THIS GOLDFISH

395. AND PUKE HIM INTO THE BOWL.

396. AND PUKE HIM INTO THE BOWL. OK, ARE WE READY?

397. OK, ARE WE READY?

398. OK, ARE WE READY?

399. OH, GOD.

400. COME ON, BABY, YOU CAN MAKE IT.

401. HE AIN'T COMING BACK...

402. HE AIN'T COMING BACK...

403. COME ON, DUDE.

404. COME ON, DUDE.

405. YEAH!

406. THAT IS MY BUDDY!

407. HEY, BUDDY.

408. HEY, BUDDY.

409. HEY, MY MAN.

410. NO WAY.

411. HE LIVED, DUDE.

412. HOLD ON, PUT HIM IN THE

413. FRESH WATER.

414. THAT'S MY BRO.

415. THAT FISH IS BAD.

416. I THOUGHT WE HAD KILLED THE

417. GOLDFISH.

418. I'VE NEVER DONE IT BEFORE.

419. OH, YEAH?

420. THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME I'VE

421. EVER EVEN TRIED IT, YEAH.

422. HEH HEH, I GOT ME A GOLDFISH.

423. ALL RIGHT, TAKE CARE, SLEEPY.

424. ALL RIGHT, TAKE CARE, SLEEPY. HEY, BE COOL, MAN.

425. HEY, BE COOL, MAN.

426. URBAN KAYAK, COMING THROUGH.

427. URBAN KAYAK.

428. URBAN KAYAK. WHOO!

429. WHOO!

430. HE'S STILL GOING, TOO.

431. YEAH!

432. WHOO-HOO-HOO!

433. WHOO-HOO-HOO! WHOO!

434. WHOO!

435. DO YOU ALWAYS WALK AROUND WITH

436. YOUR STANDING UP?

437. OH, DUDE, I'M SORRY.

438. THAT GUY RIGHT THERE IS THE

439. BEST DAMN ROLLER SKATER THERE

440. EVER WAS, MAYBE IN THE WHOLE

441. TOWN.