1. A reading from the holy
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2. Bible.
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3. Genesis, chapter one.
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4. "god created the heaven and the
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5. Earth, and the earth was without
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6. Form and void, and darkness was
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7. Upon the face of the deep..."
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8. Hey, buddy, do we
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9. Have to be kneeling this entire
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10. Time?
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11. Yeah, this is not
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12. Comfortable.
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13. I mean, it's gonna get
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14. Uncomfortable.
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15. yes, you need to be kneeling.
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16. It's 11:58, and mac day's about
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17. To officially start.
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18. I want there to be ceremony.
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19. Are we gonna be in the
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20. Dark the whole time?
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21. my goodness, this is a lot of
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22. Complaining.
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23. Charlie, can you please remind
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24. Everyone of the rules?
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25. We are about to
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26. Officially begin mac day.
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27. For the entirety of this day, we
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28. Will forced to do everything mac
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29. Wants us to do.
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30. and if anyone is caught
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31. Complaining?
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32. an extra day is added to mac
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33. Day.
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34. If you cannot resist the urge to
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35. Complain, you are allowed one
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36. Scream a day to the ceremonial
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37. Screaming pillow.
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38. that's right.
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39. Charlie, when it was your day,
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40. Did I complain about searching
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41. For goblins for ten hours
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42. Straight?
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43. well, ghouls, and, no, they
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44. Didn't complain, 'cause we found
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45. Three. It was pretty sweet.
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46. we found none.
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47. yeah?
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48. we found no ghouls, we found
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49. No goblins, we found no
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50. Gremlins, because they don't
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51. Exist.
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52. well...
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53. guys, this whole thing was
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54. Meant to bring us closer
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55. Together, and by the end of it,
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56. You're gonna feel a little bit
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57. Closer to me, and if I've done
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58. My job right, a little bit
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59. Closer to god.
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60. yes.
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61. because I've modeled my day
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62. After the seven days of god's
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63. Creation, making my one day feel
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64. Like an entire week.
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65. oh!
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66. come on, man. Really?
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67. oh, come on, will you?
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68. For crying out loud, my knees
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69. Are...
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70. three, two, one, begin!
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71. On the first day, god said, "let
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72. There be...
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73. Mac."
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74. seven straight hours of
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75. Lecturing?
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76. yeah, and five hours alone
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77. Dedicated to the evils of
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78. Homosexuality... From him?
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79. did anyone else notice that
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80. He had an erection the entire
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81. Time?
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82. how could you miss it?
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83. I mean, it was, like,
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84. it was right there.
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85. Shh, shh, shh— here he comes.
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86. Introduce a new theme to the
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87. Day.
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88. So I'd like to infuse the
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89. Religious angle with the theme
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90. Of badass.
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91. And I quote once again from
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92. Genesis.
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93. "and god said, 'let there be a
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94. Firmament in the midst of the
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95. Waters, and let it divide the
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96. Waters from the waters.'
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97. And god made the firmament and
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98. Divided the waters which were
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99. Under the firmament from the
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100. Waters which were above the
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101. Firmament.
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102. And it was so."
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103. There you have it.
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104. there we have what?
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105. Uh, the what...?
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106. What are you saying?
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107. it's water.
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108. I'm saying "water," 'cause it
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109. Said water, like, eight times.
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110. So, it's water.
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111. That's what the whole thing is—
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112. Water.
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113. water what?
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114. water and badass, badass
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115. And water.
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116. ah.
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117. yes!
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118. we're doing a project badass
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119. Video over the schuylkill river.
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120. yes! Yes!
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121. ah!
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122. yes!
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123. ah.
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124. all right! Hey!
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125. do you guys hear the
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126. Motorcycle?
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127. I have another special surprise.
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128. We will be joined by my cousin
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129. All day!
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130. your cousin?
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131. yeah, my cousin from the
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132. Country.
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133. I haven't seen him in, like,
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134. Forever, but, guys, trust me.
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135. He's, like, the second biggest
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136. Badass I know, so, it's gonna
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137. Be awesome.
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138. Country mac coming to the big
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139. City.
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140. Country mac!
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141. country mac: Hey, city mac!
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142. holy shit, there's two of
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143. Them.
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144. okay, I think I like this
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145. Framing.
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146. I don't even know what it is
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147. You want us to do.
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148. well, I'm gonna jump from the
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149. Strawberry mansion bridge.
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150. what?
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151. yes!
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152. holy shit!
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153. what do you mean, from it?
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154. To the water?
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155. what?
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156. yeah, I'm gonna jump from the
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157. Top of the bridge to the water.
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158. Okay, I need you to act like
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159. Concerned citizens, but I need
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160. This to feel real, okay, guys?
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161. So, I need you to be neutral
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162. About the jumper prior to the
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163. Jump, 'cause you don't know me.
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164. You don't know this man.
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165. But I need you to react at the
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166. Same time because I need to draw
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167. The jump in later to match your
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168. Reaction.
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169. you lost me there.
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170. What do you mean, "draw the
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171. Jump?"
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172. You're not jumping?
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173. no, I'm not gonna jump.
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174. Of course I wouldn't jump.
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175. I draw it in later because it's
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176. Like a post effect.
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177. well, what's badass about
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178. That?
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179. your reaction is badass, you
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180. Know?
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181. I want you to scream, "badass!
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182. You know, that dude is badass!
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183. I've never seen anything as
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184. Badass as that." you know?
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185. oh...
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186. but don't say my name, 'cause
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187. You don't know this man.
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188. That's why it feels real, you
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189. Know?
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190. Now, later, if you want to do,
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191. Like, a rudy-type situation
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192. Where you carry me through the
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193. Streets of philadelphia, you
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194. Know, that's cool.
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195. we won't.
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196. I can put that in the
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197. Schedule.
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198. it's not a post effect?
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199. no, that's a practical
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200. Effect, that would happen real,
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201. But only if it's organic, you
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202. Know?
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203. this is a goddamn mess, this
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204. Whole thing's a goddamn mess.
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205. I'm lost, I'm lost.
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206. You guys lost?
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207. you're not gonna be badass,
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208. But you're gonna...
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209. and we're not gonna react?
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210. this is all sounding a little
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211. Bit like a complaint from you
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212. Guys.
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213. who's complaining?
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214. We don't know what's going on!
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215. we don't know you.
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216. Mac! Mac! Mac!
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217. Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac!
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218. badass! Badass! Badass!
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219. Badass! Badass!
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220. all right, country mac, let's
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221. Do...
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222. Keep it going. Keep it going.
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223. all right.
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224. let's do this! Let's do this!
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225. badass.
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226. badass.
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227. it's pretty high, it's good.
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228. It's excellent, it's gonna be
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229. Great.
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230. you better jump quick before
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231. Somebody tries to stop you.
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232. trust me, no one's gonna try
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233. And stop me.
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234. jump, asshole!
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235. yep. See, in the big city,
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236. Nobody cares whether you live or
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237. Die.
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238. jump, you pussy!
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239. all right, have a nice day.
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240. Okay, so, I'm gonna run to the
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241. End, book as fast as I can to
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242. The fence, climb up to the top,
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243. Stop, climb back down to safety.
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244. That's it.
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245. so, you're not gonna jump?
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246. I don't jump, okay?
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247. Why does everybody think I jump?
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248. Nobody jumps.
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249. Evel knievel didn't jump.
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250. Johnny knoxville doesn't jump.
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251. Okay, this is big hollywood
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252. Stuff, okay? Just stand back.
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253. I don't want you to get hurt.
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254. Let me handle it.
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255. oh, wow! Oh, there's a man
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256. Standing on the bridge.
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257. what?
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258. yes, he looks like...
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259. Look at that.
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260. his name is mac.
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261. no, we don't know his name.
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262. we don't know it.
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263. oh.
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264. his name is rudy, I believe,
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265. You guys.
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266. that's what it was— rudy.
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267. we don't know what his
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268. Name is, and that's okay, but we
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269. Don't know each other. Hi.
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270. how are you?
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271. nice to meet you.
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272. oh, hi, hi, but it looks like
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273. He may commit suicide.
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274. ah!
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275. suicide is badass.
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276. no, no, no, no, rudy's not
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277. Trying to kill himself.
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278. we don't know his name.
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279. he just likes to jump,
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280. Mac is the one who's the
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281. Badass, remember that.
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282. no, we don't... Will you
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283. Everybody stop. Come on, guys.
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284. What are we doing?
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285. I don't know what we're
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286. we got to get on the same
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287. To get on the same page.
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288. Do it over and over and over...
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289. Did someone just go plop?
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290. looked like it.
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291. someone just jumped.
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292. Someone jumped.
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293. he jumped! That's it!
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294. He jumped, guys! He jumped!
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295. The day's over, the day's over.
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296. Country mac is gone, he's dead.
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297. Let's get out of here.
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298. look! Look, look, look!
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299. what? What? Oh.
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300. whoa!
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301. oh, holy shit! Oh, my god!
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302. oh, wow! Wow!
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303. whoa!
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304. well, how'd that look?
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305. oh, amazing! All right!
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306. how did it look?
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307. how'd it look? Badass!
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308. it looked badass, dude.
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309. I cannot believe you jumped.
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310. whoa!
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311. no, that's not really
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312. Badass, guys. That's dangerous.
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313. um, can we put him on our
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314. Shoulders and parade him around
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315. Like rudy?
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316. I'm feeling that now.
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317. I want to do that.
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318. I'm feeling that now.
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319. Yeah, yeah...
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320. no, no, no, no, no, I don't
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321. Think that's gonna work anymore.
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322. That's not gonna fit into our
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323. Schedule, you know? I mean...
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324. I mean, it was your idea...
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325. no, we're very full.
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326. We're very full now.
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327. This is not gonna play.
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328. We're gonna move on to day four
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329. Now.
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330. well, wait, wait, wait, wait.
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331. You skipped day three.
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332. uh, day three is when god
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333. Created trees and grass and
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334. Nature.
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335. You know, kind of a bullshit
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336. Day, so we're gonna move on to
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337. Day four where god created the
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338. Stars.
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339. if you look at the orion
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340. Constellation and then track
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341. Across to the big dipper, you'll
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342. See a gaseous, cloud-like area.
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343. Okay, I'm gonna
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344. Need you guys to go ahead and
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345. Ignore everything that this
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346. Clown is saying.
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347. God created the stars 5,000
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348. Years ago.
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349. uh, who has the pillow?
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350. I need a pillow.
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351. I think I thought of a way
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352. That we can work day three into
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353. This experience.
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354. no, we're on day four.
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355. And, besides, there's no trees
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356. Or herbs in the planetarium.
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357. but there's herb.
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358. hmm?
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359. who wants to smoke a "j"?
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360. oh, shit. You brought weed?
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361. no, no, no, we're not smoking
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362. Weed, okay?
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363. It's still illegal in the state
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364. Of pennsylvania.
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365. puff, puff, pass, bitches.
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366. yeah.
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367. yeah, come on, mac, shut up.
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368. I thought you were a badass.
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369. there's nothing
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370. Badass about breaking the law,
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371. Charlie.
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372. this is gonna make
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373. It way more fun, dude.
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374. this isn't about fun.
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375. It's about fearing god, okay?
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376. I'm trying to convert you guys.
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377. oh, my god, is that what this
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378. Is about?
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379. You're not gonna convert me in
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380. One day.
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381. I don't believe in god.
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382. well, you should.
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383. Because if you don't, god will
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384. Make a flood or a famine, okay?
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385. He will destroy you with
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386. Tornadoes and earthquakes and
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387. Aids.
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388. Where do you think aids came
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389. From?
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390. Uh, hello, god's gift to the
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391. Gays.
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392. oh...
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393. oh, my god.
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394. you're gonna ruin this high,
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395. Dude.
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396. mac, I think you're a little
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397. Confused there.
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398. I mean, yeah, sure, bad things
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399. Do happen.
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400. But what about sunsets?
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401. oh...
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402. french kisses.
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403. oh...
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404. the smell of rain.
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405. yeah.
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406. that's why I believe in god.
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407. yeah.
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408. not because of the things
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409. That he takes away from us but
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410. Because of the things that he
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411. Gives to us.
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412. oh... Dude.
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413. shit, dude.
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414. you just ripped a hole in my
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415. Mind.
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416. see, that's the god I l...
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417. I like that.
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418. I'm choosing that one.
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419. excuse me, who's talking back
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420. There?
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421. shut up, science bitch.
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422. yeah. Yeah, shut up, science
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423. Bitch!
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424. aw, dude, dude, dude.
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425. come on, man.
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426. he just said it.
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427. He just said it.
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428. he just did it.
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429. oh. What the hell?
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430. carbs-wise, this is gonna set
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431. Me back, but I don't even give a
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432. Shit.
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433. yes.
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434. country mac's awesome.
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435. yes.
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436. yeah.
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437. this weed that he gave us is
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438. Awesome.
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439. it's...
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440. yes.
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441. yeah.
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442. all these years I've been
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443. Feeling like I hate karate.
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444. And, like, I hate project
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445. Badass and, like... I hate god.
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446. yes.
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447. but, like... I realize...
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448. You know what I really hate...
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449. Is mac.
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450. yes.
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451. like, he's made all those
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452. Cool things suck.
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453. Not only is he, like,
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454. Rui... Ning my life...
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455. But with all this god shit that
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456. He's into...
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457. He could be ruining my
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458. Afterlife.
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459. yes.
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460. I thought that one was
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461. Gonna...
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462. let me try.
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463. So...
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464. yeah, I get that.
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465. okay, I feel like we got a
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466. Little bit off the rails back
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467. There, but I'm ready to get back
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468. On.
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469. dude, did you guys see the
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470. Way country mac was riding his
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471. Motorcycle?
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472. Badass, dude!
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473. no, it was reckless once
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474. Again.
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475. I thought it was awesome!
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476. he was like batman, just
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477. Zipping through the cars.
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478. he beat us here by, like, an
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479. Hour.
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480. oh, I want to get a
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481. Motorcycle, man.
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482. dude, we should all get
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483. Motorcycles!
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484. okay, that's enough! Okay?
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485. Enough about country mac.
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486. It's still my day.
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487. yeah.
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488. thank you.
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489. On the fifth day, god made fish,
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490. So we'll just skip right past
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491. That.
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492. yeah, we'll skip that.
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493. You're skipping a lot of days,
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494. Dude.
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495. well, you can't fit it all
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496. Into one day.
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497. That's preposterous.
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498. you're the one who came up
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499. With the structure, so... That's
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500. Preposterous.
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501. all right, on the sixth day,
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502. God created the beasts of the
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503. Earth and he made man in his own
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504. Image.
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505. And beholdeth... The image of
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506. God.
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507. oh, shit.
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508. okay, everybody grab some
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509. Grease.
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510. why?
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511. because we're gonna grease up
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512. These beefcakes.
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513. no! No! Come on! No!
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514. easy, frank.
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515. Frank, you better take it easy!
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516. Listen! These guys work off
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517. Their beautiful glutes for our
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518. Enjoyment, okay?
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519. The least we can do is pay them
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520. Back in tan and grease.
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521. greasing dudes.
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522. yep.
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523. that's why we're here today.
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524. I ain't doing this!
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525. about time you guys got here.
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526. hey, there you are.
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527. country mac, man. Hey, bro.
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528. Listen, dude, can you get us out
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529. Of here?
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530. yeah, you got to get us out
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531. Of here, man.
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532. get out of here?
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533. I'm lovin' it.
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534. I've been gettin' phone numbers
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535. Left and right.
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536. oh, sweet, there's chicks
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537. Here?
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538. chicks? No.
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539. Dudes.
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540. I'm into dudes.
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541. oh... You're gay.
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542. loud and proud, brother.
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543. Loud and proud.
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544. Yeah, ain't nothing wrong with
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545. That.
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546. there's nothing wrong with
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547. That.
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548. Honestly, it's, like, refreshing
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549. To hear.
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550. You know what, happy hunting,
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551. Bro, get after it.
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552. cool, cool, cool.
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553. I'll see you all in a little
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554. Bit.
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555. cool, yeah, yeah.
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556. See, he doesn't want us to
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557. Grease them, you know?
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558. god, that's awesome.
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559. because he wants them.
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560. it doe... Right.
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561. He wants them for himself.
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562. it's so much more comfortable
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563. When someone's gay and open
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564. About it.
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565. And, like, I know we've never
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566. Said this as a group, but...
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567. mac's gay.
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568. yeah, mac's gay.
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569. he's gay.
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570. he's gay.
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571. I mean... Okay... Smiles.
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572. hey! Hey!
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573. What's with all the chitchat?
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574. Legs and hammies are drying up
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575. By the second.
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576. we got stoned and we're
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577. Uncomfortable.
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578. we're trying to deal with the
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579. Whole thing.
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580. you guys need to start
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581. Greasing some dudes or I'm gonna
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582. Freak out, all right?
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583. I'm gonna freak out, and I'm
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584. Gonna add another day!
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585. no, no, no. We'll grease,
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586. We'll grease, we'll grease.
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587. We're ready to grease.
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588. Give me the grease.
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589. we'll grease the dudes and...
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590. okay, that's what I like to
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591. Hear.
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592. But don't blow your wads on
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593. These guys, okay?
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594. I mean...
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595. we still have the karate
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596. Tournament.
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597. we're gonna watch you fight?
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598. No, day seven is god's day of
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599. Rest and judgment.
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600. So I'm gonna sit back and watch
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601. And judge everybody else in the
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602. Tournament.
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603. hey, mac.
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604. I'm drying up over here.
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605. sorry, big moe.
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606. Sorry about that.
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607. I'll be right there.
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608. Get to work. Get to work.
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609. Come on.
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610. yeah, okay.
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611. all right.
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612. yeah.
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613. all right, bud.
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614. he's got the boner again.
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615. yeah. Yeah.
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616. well, at least this time it
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617. Makes sense, huh?
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618. hmm.
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619. all right, listen.
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620. I got an idea.
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621. ooh, I don't know about this.
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622. this doesn't feel right.
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623. no, this is good.
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624. This is gonna be good for him.
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625. I promise. This is the only way.
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626. Oh! Hey.
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627. I got you guys all notebooks
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628. And pens.
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629. We're gonna start with the
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630. Yellow belts 'cause it's an
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631. Inferior class.
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632. actually, we've got a
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633. Surprise for you, mac.
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634. yeah. We signed you up.
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635. You're competing.
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636. huh?
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637. you're gonna go fight a guy.
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638. A black belt actually.
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639. you're in the tournament.
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640. no, no, I-I don't think
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641. That's a good idea.
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642. Mostly because I don't have the
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643. Right gear, and I'm not...
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644. you're wearing a gi.
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645. you are wearing a gi.
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646. yeah, that is the gear.
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647. that's the only gear.
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648. I notice you're also wearing
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649. A black belt.
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650. Now, you are a black belt,
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651. Correct?
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652. um, not technically.
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653. Um, only because I haven't
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654. Subscribed to one... Discipline.
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655. but you are good enough to
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656. Fight in a black belt
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657. Tournament.
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658. 'cause you're wearing a black
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659. Belt.
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660. of course.
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661. shit, mac, you can do it.
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662. Just go right for the guy's
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663. Throat.
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664. I know I can do it.
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665. That's not the... I feel like
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666. You're talking a lot throughout
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667. The day.
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668. I know I can do it.
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669. so if you can do it, then do
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670. It.
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671. I'll sign up if mac doesn't
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672. Want to.
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673. I'm gonna do it.
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674. I said I was... I was never not
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675. Gonna do it.
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676. I'm excited.
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677. yeah.
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678. I-I'm really excited to see
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679. This, man.
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680. You are gonna kick that guy's
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681. Ass, whoever he is.
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682. this is cruel.
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683. oof.
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684. I can't watch it, you know?
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685. trust me, this is for his own
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686. Good.
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687. If he doesn't face this now, he
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688. Never will.
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689. yeah, it's too bad, but he's
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690. Got to get his ass kicked.
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691. yep. It's time for this to
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692. End.
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693. hi.
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694. okay, now bow.
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695. Not to me, karate kid, to him.
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696. oh.
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697. bow.
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698. bow.
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699. ready. Fight!
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700. Block, point, mac!
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701. shit.
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702. guys, did you see that?
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703. I got a point! I got a point!
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704. oh!
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705. hell, no.
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706. oh!
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707. that was badass!
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708. he kicked the shit out of
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709. That guy!
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710. well, I got the actual point.
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711. who cares? You lost.
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712. Country mac won.
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713. yeah, but it's about the art,
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714. Okay?
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715. oh, the art.
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716. you got your ass kicked—
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717. That's what happened.
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718. I scored an actual point in
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719. An actual karate tournament and
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720. Against an actual black belt.
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721. country mac beat the shit out
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722. Of that guy with a beer and his
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723. T-shirt.
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724. yeah, and where is he always
Copy !req
725. Getting those beers, man?
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726. That's the most badass thing
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727. About...
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728. out of the blue, he gets a
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729. Beer.
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730. no, it's years of training
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731. Finally paying off, and an
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732. Uncontested black belt point is
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733. The most badass...
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734. oh, my god, we're never gonna
Copy !req
735. Hear the end of this.
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736. Stop, stop!
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737. Hold on a second, mac.
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738. No, no. Listen, you got your ass
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739. Kicked today— that's what
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740. Happened, plain and simple.
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741. So I want you to admit it.
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742. dennis, don't.
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743. The day's almost over.
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744. We only have a couple of hours.
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745. no, n-n-n-no, dee, we have a
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746. Lifetime of this to look forward
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747. To, and I for one can't stand
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748. It.
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749. You are not a badass, pal.
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750. Admit it to us right now.
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751. get on your knees!
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752. you are not a badass!
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753. oh, my god!
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754. hey, what's wrong with you,
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755. Guy?
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756. you got a problem?
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757. you got the problem, asshole.
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758. look out!
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759. shit.
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760. you bring a knife to a fight,
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761. You better be ready to use it,
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762. You jabroni.
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763. just... Don't come back here,
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764. You punks.
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765. aw, you made him look like a
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766. Bitch!
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767. holy shit.
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768. nice... Very nice.
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769. oh, you are badass, dude.
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770. how'd you know he had a knife
Copy !req
771. On him?
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772. I gave him an ocular patdown.
Copy !req
773. Assessed the threat level.
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774. Clocked a knife in his boot.
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775. huh! Holy shit.
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776. guys, I may have had a little
Copy !req
777. Bit of an accident in my pants,
Copy !req
778. So I think I got to change out
Copy !req
779. Of this gi.
Copy !req
780. he just gave that guy an
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781. Ocular patdown, and it actually
Copy !req
782. Worked.
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783. it worked.
Copy !req
784. he made a lucky guess, and he
Copy !req
785. Put us all in danger.
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786. you made a poopy in your
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787. Did anybody else do a poopoo in
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788. Their pants?
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789. this is our head of security!
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790. I don't need to listen to
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791. This, okay?
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792. I'm gonna change out of this gi
Copy !req
793. And then we're gonna keep going
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794. With the day, okay?
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795. I have a series of lectures that
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796. We're gonna get to.
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797. go get the poop out of your
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798. Pants.
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799. I can't wait for the
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800. Lectures.
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801. Goddamn, man.
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802. the guy is in complete denial
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803. About absolutely every aspect of
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804. His life.
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805. And there is nothing we can do
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806. About it.
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807. I say we switch him out.
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808. huh?
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809. country mac for paddy's mac.
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810. we send mac to the country,
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811. Bring country mac here.
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812. yeah, to the bar.
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813. that's not a bad idea.
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814. I mean, look, we'd be safer with
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815. An actual badass in the bar.
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816. we might actually become a
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817. Little bit more badass
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818. Ourselves.
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819. we would become more like
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820. Country mac, which'd be great.
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821. we have a lot to learn from
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822. Him.
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823. We should all get motorcycles.
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824. and drink much more beer.
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825. and smoke more weed, you
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826. and get in fights and do all
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827. can we make this happen
Copy !req
828. let's talk to him, let's talk
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829. To him.
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830. Hey, um... Hey, country mac, can
Copy !req
831. We just talk to you for one
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832. Quick second, buddy?
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833. Um, listen, we were just talking
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834. And, man, we sure would like for
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835. You to stay with us.
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836. I mean, like-like, stay with us
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837. Forever.
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838. Will you be part of our gang?
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839. yep.
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840. uh... Just "yep"?
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841. Just, like... That's it?
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842. You're not gonna give a speech
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843. Or lecture us or anything like
Copy !req
844. That?
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845. no bossiness?
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846. no pontificating?
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847. it's not my style.
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848. I just go with the flow.
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849. Let the wind blow through my
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850. Hair.
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851. yeah.
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852. oh.
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853. oh, wow.
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854. I love that guy.
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855. aw, look at him go.
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856. where's he even going?
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857. I mean, the fact that we
Copy !req
858. Don't know where he's going
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859. Makes him all the more badass.
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860. uh-oh. Whoops.
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861. whoopsie.
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862. he fell, huh?
Copy !req
863. tipped over a little bit.
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864. ooh.
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865. he's probably okay, though,
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866. Right?
Copy !req
867. well, yeah, he just... Popped
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868. Over.
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869. a little-little bump.
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870. He's fine. He's good, he's good,
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871. He's good, he's good.
Copy !req
872. country mac lived a reckless
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873. Life.
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874. He wasn't the kind of guy that
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875. Could score a point in a black
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876. Belt karate contest.
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877. And it turns out, he was totally
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878. Queer.
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879. Which, as we all know, is a sin.
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880. And that, coupled with his
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881. Radical religious beliefs, has
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882. Most likely landed him in hell,
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883. Where he will burn for all
Copy !req
884. Eternity.
Copy !req
885. So I will ask for a moment of
Copy !req
886. Silence, in which I will beg
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887. God's forgiveness for country
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888. Mac's evil, homo ways, while
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889. Simultaneously doing a series of
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890. Karate moves that I know country
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891. Mac would've enjoyed so much.
Copy !req
892. well, guys, I think the real
Copy !req
893. Lesson here is that there's
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894. Nothing badass about riding a
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895. Motorcycle without a helmet.
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896. right.
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897. plus, he was drunk all the
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898. Time.
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899. yeah.
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900. you know what's badass?
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901. Being alive.
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902. yeah.
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903. So, uh, what do we do about this
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904. Guy?
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905. namaste. Namaste.
Copy !req
906. Okay, we will now pile into the
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907. Car, where we will go to the
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908. Countryside to leave country
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909. Mac's ashes in a place that he
Copy !req
910. Loved so well.
Copy !req
911. actually, we won't.
Copy !req
912. Because it's officially frank
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913. Day, so...
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914. All right, pee country mac.
Copy !req
915. Captioned by
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916. Media access group at wgbh
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917. Access.Wgbh.Org
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