1. God!
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2. Run!
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3. Where are you guys?
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4. What's happening?
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5. Over here!
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6. Over here!
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7. Where are you?
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8. Frank!
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9. Charlie!
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10. My God!
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11. Over here.
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12. We're all here?
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13. We're all here?
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14. Guys!
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15. Stop!
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16. Stop where you are!
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17. You four got some explaining to do.
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18. I got 15 different wedding
guests out there with various
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19. degrees of injury.
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20. I got a groom...
face is half gone!
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21. And I'm still missing a bride.
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22. I don't know what happened back
there, but we are innocent.
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23. We're completely innocent.
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24. Yeah, well, you four bozos are
the only people on the scene
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25. that weren't invited.
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26. So you can see how bad this looks.
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27. Now, who is
Mr. Dennis Reynolds?
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28. That's me.
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29. Hello, Dennis.
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30. Those are some interesting
marks on your neck.
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31. Let me guess.
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32. Ex-wife's getting remarried,
you get a little jealous.
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33. Get your buddies together, you
decide to break up that party.
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34. So you crash the wedding, get a little
tipsy, things take a violent turn.
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35. No, no, no, look.
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36. That is the exact opposite
of what I wanted to happen.
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37. I wanted to make sure that
that wedding happened!
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38. Why is Maureen getting married
in the middle of the woods?
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39. I don't know.
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40. Some people find the
woods romantic, I guess.
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41. And why get married on Friday the 13th?
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42. It's a monster day.
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43. I don't know and I don't care.
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44. I just want to make sure
the wedding happens.
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45. I'm tired of paying alimony.
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46. Well, we got your back, bro.
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47. Don't worry about that.
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48. I don't need you to have my back.
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49. Three people crashing a wedding...
it's gonna make a scene.
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50. Why couldn't you just
let me do this alone?
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51. Just don't like getting bussed up there.
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52. I feel like we're gonna be trapped.
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53. I don't, I don't like any of this.
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54. No.
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55. No, no.
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56. I don't like this place already.
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57. This is a strange place, right?
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58. I'm seeing a lot of bats.
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59. Yeah, there's bats everywhere.
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60. You know why?
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61. 'Cause it's Friday the 13th.
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62. No, no, no, stop.
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63. Will you stop with that?
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64. It's not because it's Friday the 13th.
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65. We're in the woods.
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66. Stop being paranoid.
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67. Still, this is creepy.
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68. I mean, who gets married
in a spot like this?
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69. Jesus Christ!
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70. You guys crashing my wedding?
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71. Wait.
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72. What?
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73. You?
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74. Wait, Liam, you're marrying Maureen?
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75. Big-time.
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76. Don't be jelly.
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77. What the hell is going on here?
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78. What's your angle?
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79. Oldest angle in the book, my friend.
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80. Love.
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81. I don't buy this, okay?
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82. I thought you were in love with Ryan.
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83. What's your brother think about all this?
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84. Ryan's dead to me.
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85. Do you hear me?
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86. He's dead!
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87. So, I take it he doesn't approve?
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88. That's a negative, Ronald McDonald.
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89. Now, I'd ask you guys to leave,
but I'm just too damn happy.
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90. See you bitches on the dance floor.
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91. I don't like this, okay?
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92. This is a McPoyle-Ponderosa
wedding.
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93. This is, this is bad.
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94. Look, look, if you're gonna
be here, I need your support.
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95. You need to help me make sure this
wedding goes off without a hitch.
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96. Hold on. What made you think
this wasn't gonna happen?
Copy !req
97. Mac had heard there were some people
there who wanted to ruin the wedding.
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98. Who?
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99. Him.
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100. That is bullshit!
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101. I was there to support my buddy.
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102. That was a swervy road.
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103. Yeah.
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104. What are you guys doing here?
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105. My God, I knew it.
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106. You're here to break up this wedding.
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107. What are you talking about?
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108. I'm here to support my
friend, Bill Ponderosa.
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109. I'm his AA sponsor!
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110. Bullshit!
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111. You two love the fact that I have
to pay alimony the rest of my life.
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112. You love the power you have over
me with this financial burden.
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113. You know what, Dennis, not
everything is about you, okay?
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114. I am here to support Frank.
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115. No, you two are here to make a scene.
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116. If anybody's making a scene, it's you!
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117. I just got tagged by a bat!
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118. He got you.
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119. I got tagged!
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120. Suck out the poison, Dee!
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121. I'm not sucking on your head.
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122. Suck it out!
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123. I'll give you $200, you suck it out.
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124. $200? I'll do it!
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125. I'll do it for $200.
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126. Suck it quick.
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127. What are you...?
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128. This is the kind of thing
that I was talking about!
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129. Suck it harder!
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130. Go home, please!
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131. Suck it harder!
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132. I got it.
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133. Did you swallow it?
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134. Of course I swallowed.
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135. Make yourself throw up!
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136. Yeah, you swallowed the poison!
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137. Get it out! Get it out!
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138. Vomit! Vomit!
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139. What are you doing?
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140. There is no poison from a bat!
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141. No! You are gonna ruin this!
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142. You're all gonna ruin this!
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143. You all right?
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144. It won't come, Frank.
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145. Deandra.
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146. Yeah?
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147. Let's go break up this wedding.
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148. Stop, stop!
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149. So you were there to break up the wedding.
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150. Shit.
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151. Did I just say that part?
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152. Yeah.
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153. Why did you want to break up the wedding?
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154. For all the things he just said.
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155. That was accurate.
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156. But it wasn't just our idea
to break up the wedding.
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157. Not at first.
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158. Last week, we had a visitor at the bar.
Copy !req
159. They have to be stopped.
Copy !req
160. The McPoyle bloodline's been pure
and clean for a thousand years.
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161. This marriage is an abomination.
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162. Now, when you say "pure and clean
," you mean what, exactly?
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163. Means we haven't bred
outside the bloodline.
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164. For a thousand years?
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165. Yeah.
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166. That makes a lot of sense.
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167. Dennis knows Maureen better than anyone.
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168. Only he can talk her out of this.
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169. The last thing Dennis wants to
do is break up this wedding.
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170. But we do.
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171. Okay, I brought a disguise.
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172. Meh!
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173. They're gonna know who you are.
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174. This will work.
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175. Now sneak me in so we can go kill Maureen.
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176. Kill?
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177. Who said anything about killing anybody?
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178. No one's killing anyone.
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179. We'll sneak you in to Liam so
you guys can talk or bang or
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180. whatever it is you want to do.
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181. Frank!
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182. Frank!
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183. Thank God you're here, man.
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184. I am not gonna make it.
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185. I am itching to get blitzed.
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186. Weddings are a big trigger for me, man.
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187. Why are you telling me this?
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188. You're my sponsor, Frank.
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189. Come on.
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190. My support system.
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191. Right, right, right.
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192. Of course.
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193. So, do whatever you feel is best.
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194. Well, I feel it would be
best if I pounded a beer.
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195. I'll support that decision.
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196. I wish I could.
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197. I mean, it's a dry wedding,
for God's sakes.
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198. They're serving milk.
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199. I feel like maybe I should do
some drugs then, you know?
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200. That bad?
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201. You earned it.
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202. Yeah.
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203. You do whatever you feel like.
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204. You're a good person.
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205. Frank.
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206. Cool, cool.
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207. Thank you.
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208. Thank you.
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209. Diddly Dee.
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210. Miss me?
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211. Don't answer that.
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212. All right.
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213. Catch you guys later.
Copy !req
214. You're a bad sponsor.
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215. Why?
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216. I supported every decision
he wanted to make.
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217. Stop wasting time!
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218. God!
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219. Let's go find Liam.
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220. Shit!
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221. Don't hit me.
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222. Things have already taken a bit
of a dark turn, it would seem.
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223. Yeah.
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224. Okay, I need to get to Maureen
before Frank and Dee.
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225. All right?
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226. We'll come with you.
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227. No, just hang back.
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228. I got this, okay?
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229. Dude, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
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230. Yeah.
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231. We could definitely get laid here.
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232. What?
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233. Maureen, I need to speak with you.
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234. Dennis!
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235. OMG, what are you doing here?
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236. Well, I have reason to
believe that someone is here to
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237. destroy this special day for
you, so I'm sure to make sure
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238. that doesn't happen.
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239. That is so sweet, Dennis.
Copy !req
240. I also brought along some legal
documents, so if we could
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241. just wrap this up lickety-split.
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242. Legal documents? What?
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243. Yeah, I realize my timing is a
little unorthodox, but, I
Copy !req
244. figure what better way to make
sure your union is totally
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245. complete than by having you sign these
documents that I need you to sign?
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246. So if I can just get your
signature right here, and I'll
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247. run up and get Liam's signature,
and this'll be on the books and
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248. your wedding... Muh!
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249. My Maureen, you've...
you've enhanced yourself.
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250. Yeah, I got my tooth fixed.
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251. I'm talking about your tits!
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252. You big, giant new titties, Maureen!
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253. Why would you do that now?
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254. Why not when we were
together when I could've...?
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255. I told you I was willing to change.
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256. Yeah, but I didn't know
you meant physically,
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257. that you would change physically.
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258. Why weren't you more
clear with me, Maureen?
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259. All right, you know what?
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260. I'm not gonna get distracted.
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261. Just, just sign right here... Wait!
What are you doing in here?
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262. You can't see the bride
before the ceremony!
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263. No, no!
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264. Get out!
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265. I just need her to sign this!
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266. No! Get out of here!
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267. Wait, wait, wait! Maureen!
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268. No matter what happens, you
got to go through with this!
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269. Out!
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270. Liam is your destiny, Maureen!
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271. Here he comes.
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272. I didn't get it.
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273. I mean, I'm so close, I'm so close.
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274. Do you know where Liam is?
Maybe I can get his signature first.
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275. I didn't see him anywhere.
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276. I'm sorry, but I got to bring this up.
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277. Things are getting really weird.
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278. I mean, check out Pappy McPoyle.
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279. What is that all about?
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280. I'll tell you what that's all about.
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281. Zombies.
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282. Zombies?
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283. I seen it once before in a rat,
and I seen it now in men.
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284. Once one gets a taste for its own
kind, it can spread through
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285. the pack like a wildfire.
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286. Mindlessly chomping and
biting at their own hinds.
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287. Nothing but the taste of
flesh on their minds.
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288. You know the thing about a rat?
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289. It's got life in its eyes.
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290. Black eyes like a doll's eye.
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291. Don't seem to be living at
all when it come at ya.
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292. Till it bites ya.
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293. And then the eyes roll over white.
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294. You don't hear nothing but the
screaming and the hollering.
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295. What are you doing?
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296. Are you doing the speech from Jaws?
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297. - Nah...
- Are you doing Jaws?
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298. We don't have time for this shit.
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299. This is serious.
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300. Look, it wasn't zombies, okay?
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301. Really?
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302. Yeah.
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303. Then you explain what happened next.
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304. Okay, it's time to get out of here.
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305. I mean, look at that guy.
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306. The McPoyles sprung from
my loins, fully formed!
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307. One of them babies tried to eat me!
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308. I ate him first!
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309. I ate him first!
Copy !req
310. Okay, I'm with Charlie.
I'm leaving.
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311. Wait.
You guys are just gonna leave?
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312. You're gonna, you're gonna go?
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313. Yeah, we're out.
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314. You know what?
I don't give a shit.
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315. Yeah, go, go, go.
Yeah, get the hell out of here!
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316. I didn't want you here in the first place!
Copy !req
317. Yeah, I understand the McPoyle
bloodline's very strong.
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318. Legions of us thousand sturdy
ones ruled this fine land.
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319. Our bloodline was as pure
as the driven snow.
Copy !req
320. And then what happened?
Copy !req
321. Syphilis killed about half of us.
Copy !req
322. Mongoloidism got most of the rest.
Copy !req
323. Right.
Copy !req
324. Yep.
Copy !req
325. Well, there's somebody inside who
wants to talk to you about this.
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326. Who's this guy?
Copy !req
327. Ryan!
Copy !req
328. We need to talk!
Copy !req
329. We'll leave you guys alone.
Copy !req
330. Let them hash it out themselves.
Copy !req
331. It'll bust up.
Copy !req
332. What the hell is that?
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333. Holy shit.
Copy !req
334. I'm gonna go.
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335. No, no, no, Deandra!
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336. What?
Copy !req
337. - No, you gotta stay!
- I don't have to stay.
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338. You gotta finish this.
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339. I'm not going to.
Copy !req
340. But we're not done!
Copy !req
341. Don't, don't go out there!
Copy !req
342. Deandra!
Copy !req
343. And we never saw Dee again.
Copy !req
344. No.
Copy !req
345. No.
Copy !req
346. We saw Dee.
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347. Yeah.
Copy !req
348. Yeah, that's when the shit
started hitting the fan.
Copy !req
349. Look, there's Dee! Dee!
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350. Dee! Don't go down there!
Copy !req
351. Do not go down there!
Copy !req
352. We just got attacked by
a bunch of zombies!
Copy !req
353. Yeah, and the shuttle bus is gone!
Copy !req
354. A zombie must have stolen your car!
Copy !req
355. Your car is gone!
Copy !req
356. There's no way out of here!
Copy !req
357. There's no way out!
Copy !req
358. What are you doing?
Copy !req
359. She's infected! She's infected!
Copy !req
360. Liam? Liam?
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361. Liam! Hello, Liam?
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362. Frank?
Copy !req
363. Hi, Dennis.
Copy !req
364. What did you do with Liam?
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365. You're too late.
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366. He's getting talked out of it!
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367. Ha-ha-ha!
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368. Get out of my way.
Copy !req
369. No!
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370. Get out of my way, Frank!
Copy !req
371. Hey, man.
Copy !req
372. What are you guys doing?
Copy !req
373. I'm begging Liam for forgiveness!
Copy !req
374. It's time we move on.
Copy !req
375. Liam convinced me it's not
Copy !req
376. our blood that's being tainted.
Copy !req
377. It's us tainting the blood of others.
Copy !req
378. McPoyles will take over the world!
Copy !req
379. Goddamn it! It backfired!
Copy !req
380. Wonderful.
Copy !req
381. And first step towards
that is signing this.
Copy !req
382. So Liam, if you'd just
sign right there, please.
Copy !req
383. Just sign right there.
Copy !req
384. Go ahead.
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385. You got it.
Copy !req
386. Stupid asses.
Copy !req
387. One down, one to go.
Copy !req
388. Nice try, Frank.
Copy !req
389. What the hell is going on?
Copy !req
390. Get the hell out of the way.
Copy !req
391. Get out of the way!
Copy !req
392. Jesus Christ!
Copy !req
393. We gotta get out of here.
Copy !req
394. I'm not going anywhere, Frank.
Copy !req
395. I'm not going anywhere till
I get that signature.
Copy !req
396. Go, go, go!
Copy !req
397. Hey, dude, check it out.
Copy !req
398. Remember when Dee, you know,
Copy !req
399. she sucked that bat poison
Copy !req
400. or whatever out of Frank's
head from the vampire bat?
Copy !req
401. Yeah.
Copy !req
402. That must be what turned
her into a zombie.
Copy !req
403. Why would a vampire bat
turn you into a zombie?
Copy !req
404. You're mixing up your horror genres.
Copy !req
405. If anything, it would
turn you into a vampire.
Copy !req
406. Right or a bat, or a bat.
Copy !req
407. Or Batman.
Copy !req
408. No, a vampire turns you into a vampire.
Copy !req
409. A zombie turns you into a zombie
Copy !req
410. and Batman didn't get
turned into anything.
Copy !req
411. He just likes bats.
Copy !req
412. That can't possibly be
what Batman's about.
Copy !req
413. It's about a grown man who
dresses up like a bat?
Copy !req
414. And goes around solving
crimes and mysteries, yes.
Copy !req
415. These are Academy Award winning movies.
Copy !req
416. This is serious stuff.
Copy !req
417. Well, you know the Academy,
Charlie, I mean...
Copy !req
418. I know the Academy as well as anybody.
Copy !req
419. Sometimes, it's atrocious.
Copy !req
420. Well, to bring it all back
Copy !req
421. around, I think when Dee drank
Copy !req
422. the bat blood, that's how she got sick.
Copy !req
423. Frank's blood.
Copy !req
424. Yes, but the bat juices.
Copy !req
425. You know, the bat saliva, bat rabies.
Copy !req
426. No, no, it's not...
Bat rabies, I buy.
Copy !req
427. Bat rabies.
Copy !req
428. Yeah.
Copy !req
429. Like the...
Dude, we got to get out of here.
Copy !req
430. Yeah, go.
Copy !req
431. Things had gotten completely insane.
Copy !req
432. Dennis was trying to get the
signature from Maureen, but we
Copy !req
433. were just trying to get
the hell out of there.
Copy !req
434. My God.
Copy !req
435. What the hell?
Copy !req
436. Frank, what the hell's going on?
Copy !req
437. Dude, we got to get out of here.
Copy !req
438. Where's Dennis?
Copy !req
439. I lost him.
Copy !req
440. You guys, I couldn't get it.
Copy !req
441. I couldn't get it.
Copy !req
442. She wouldn't sign it.
Copy !req
443. I couldn't get the stupid bitch to sign.
Copy !req
444. She didn't sign?
Copy !req
445. This has all gone bad.
Copy !req
446. It's gone terribly, terribly bad.
Copy !req
447. What did you do?
Copy !req
448. I did something bad.
Copy !req
449. I did something really, really
bad; guys, we got to get out of
Copy !req
450. here before everybody
finds out what happened.
Copy !req
451. Guys, I messed up.
Copy !req
452. I messed up bad.
Copy !req
453. All right, guys, let's
just make a break for it.
Copy !req
454. Which way?
Copy !req
455. One, two, three, go.
Copy !req
456. Come on, come on, this
way, this way, this way.
Copy !req
457. My face! My face!
Copy !req
458. My face!
Copy !req
459. One, two, three.
Copy !req
460. God!
Copy !req
461. Frank!
Copy !req
462. Over here, over here.
Copy !req
463. And then that's where you
picked us up, and honestly,
Copy !req
464. that's all that we know.
Copy !req
465. Yes.
Copy !req
466. So you're telling me that this
was a wedding full of zombies?
Copy !req
467. Yeah.
Copy !req
468. Well, bat rabies zombies.
Copy !req
469. Whatever.
Copy !req
470. There was weird incestuous
jealousies, we don't know what
Copy !req
471. was going on.
Copy !req
472. Bottom line, you got the wrong guys.
We're innocent.
Copy !req
473. Yes, we're totally innocent.
Copy !req
474. Marconi, we just picked somebody
up from the site who's
Copy !req
475. claiming to know what happened.
Copy !req
476. She was locked in a freezer.
Copy !req
477. Don't let her in here.
Copy !req
478. No, she's been infected.
Copy !req
479. I'm not infected, you stupid idiots.
Copy !req
480. No one was infected.
Copy !req
481. Here's what happened.
Copy !req
482. Let them hash it out themselves.
Copy !req
483. It'll bust up.
Copy !req
484. Yeah.
Copy !req
485. I'm gonna go.
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486. Deandra.
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487. Dee's nuts.
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488. What's the haps?
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489. Here, have a sip, right
from the cow's titty.
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490. You'll love it.
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491. No, Bill, no.
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492. I got to get out of here, okay?
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493. Shit is going crazy.
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494. No, don't go.
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495. Party's just starting.
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496. You got to have some.
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497. Come on, try it.
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498. Come on, it'll loosen you up a
bit, make your butthole hot.
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499. How is drinking a glass of milk
going to loosen me up, Bill?
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500. Well, I spiked the milk with
methylenedioxypyrovalerone.
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501. What?
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502. It's bath salts.
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503. Yeah, yeah, it's like coke and
acid and meth all combined.
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504. It's awesome.
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505. Yeah, I get it.
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506. So everyone here is on bath salts?
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507. Yeah, pretty much.
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508. My God, just move.
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509. Bath salts?
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510. The drug that makes people
eat each other's faces?
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511. Wait, that would explain
the zombie behavior.
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512. Right, okay, Dee, so you were on
bath salts and that's why you
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513. went all nuts on us.
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514. Now it makes sense.
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515. That is not why I went nuts on you guys.
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516. I went nuts on you because of
what you assholes did to my
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517. goddamn car!
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518. Dude, when was the last
time you drove a car?
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519. Don't worry about it, man.
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520. I can drive; I remember how.
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521. What?
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522. No, no, no, no, no.
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523. No, no, no, no, wait.
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524. No!
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525. What happened, dude?
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526. What happened?
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527. I forgot how to drive.
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528. I forgot how to drive.
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529. God.
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530. Look, Charlie, there's Dee.
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531. Dee, don't go down that way.
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532. We just got attacked by a
bunch of zombie people.
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533. The shuttle's gone.
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534. Zombies must have stolen your car.
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535. There's no way out of here.
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536. Dude...
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537. You sons of bitches!
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538. You're gonna pay!
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539. You're all gonna pay!
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540. I'll kill you!
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541. You assholes, you'll pay!
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542. No, we won't pay.
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543. We never do.
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544. Okay, well, there it is.
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545. You know, there's the whole story.
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546. Ponderosa spiked the punch.
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547. Somebody hopped up on bath
salts but Liam's face,
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548. and, case closed, you know?
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549. Hey, good for you.
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550. Good for us.
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551. Bye.
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552. Ba-da-bing.
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553. Hey, whoa.
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554. Sit down, slick.
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555. Now that may explain some of the
shit that went on here, but it
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556. doesn't answer the question
of the missing bride.
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557. Since you're the one with
motive and the last one to be
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558. seen with her, you're my new #1 suspect.
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559. No, no.
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560. That's... I didn't murder her.
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561. Then tell me what happened to her!
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562. I-I don't know.
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563. I don't know.
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564. Listen, if you confess, I
can help you, but you got
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565. to tell me what happened.
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566. Okay, all right, all
right, all right. Okay.
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567. Look, if I tell you what I did,
will you just help me, please?
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568. Because I need help.
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569. I'll see what I can do with the
DA, but I need you to confess.
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570. Okay, fine.
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571. Fine.
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572. I-I was just going to see her to
get the final signature so I
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573. could put this whole thing behind me.
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574. When I saw her...
Something bad happened.
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575. Something very bad.
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576. Shit.
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577. God, Maureen.
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578. That was terrible.
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579. Who did those tits?
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580. The nipple placement is crazy.
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581. - I love you, Dennis Reynolds.
- No, you don't.
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582. I love you.
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583. No, look, you're just gonna
sign these papers and we're
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584. gonna be done with this, okay?
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585. Never.
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586. Let's run away together.
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587. I'm gonna run away, but not with you.
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588. I'm gonna find you.
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589. No, no, you're not gonna find me, no, no.
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590. We can't do this, Maureen.
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591. No, please.
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592. What have I done?
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593. God, what have I done?
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594. God.
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595. God!
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596. So all that shit about us
ruining the wedding...
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597. And the zombies and the bath
salts and the blood...
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598. It turns out you blew it yourself.
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599. Yeah, congratulations, Frank.
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600. You win.
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601. I'm gonna be paying alimony to that
crazy bitch for the rest of my life.
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602. You expect me to believe this
woman's gonna throw her entire
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603. life away just to sleep with her
ex-husband on her wedding night?
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604. Really?
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605. Mr. Reynolds,
you're free to go.
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606. What?
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607. Why am I free...?
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608. No.
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609. Yes.
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610. No.
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611. Someone posted your bail.
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612. Come on, silly head.
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613. Let's go home and put this
whole adventure behind us.
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614. No.
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615. No!
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616. No!
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617. No, you got to help me.
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618. What have I done?
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619. You got to help me!
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620. What have I done?
No! No! No!
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