1. I know,
but I can't believe I never even
noticed this place before.Copy !req
2. I walk by it all the time.
How could you notice it?
There's no sign outside.Copy !req
3. Yeah, what's up with that?
You think it like blew down
in a storm or something?Copy !req
4. No. No storm. I think the owners
did it on purpose 'cause
they think it's cool.Copy !req
5. - Yeah.
- They blew on their sign...Copy !req
6. until it came off
'cause they thought
it was cool?Copy !req
7. - I mean, who does that?
- No, no. Nobody blew anything.Copy !req
8. Hey, Dee, how did you
find out about this place?Copy !req
9. Somebody sent me a link
to their Facebook page.Copy !req
10. Facebook...
That's why everybody's here.Copy !req
11. What the hell is this?Copy !req
12. - What?
- Is this water?Copy !req
13. - No, it's gin.
- Oh!Copy !req
14. Gin? I hate gin!
Get me a beer!Copy !req
15. - Get me a beer!
- Get me a beer!
- Beer!Copy !req
16. It's a gin bar.
All they have is gin.Copy !req
17. Are you kidding me?
What?Copy !req
18. You mean to tell me there's
this many people in this joint,
all they serve is gin?Copy !req
19. The only reason that people
are here is because Facebook
tells them to come here.Copy !req
20. This is the kind of shit
we need at Paddy's.
Paddy's has no Web presence.Copy !req
21. - You are absolutely right.
— The whole world is connected now.Copy !req
22. It's all connected by Bill Gates
and that Rain Man, Zuckerberg.Copy !req
23. He and his Jews have connected
the whole world, and now
they're toppling regimes.Copy !req
24. And Egypt and Japan
and the Jews
are all peaceful together...Copy !req
25. - I understand the spirit of what you're saying.
- Yeah.Copy !req
26. Facebook is connecting
everyone these days... even
people in the Middle East.Copy !req
27. That's what I'm saying.
Hell, and look people are
showing up to a bar...Copy !req
28. that doesn't even have a sign,
and serves only one...Copy !req
29. old-timey disgusting drink
that nobody likes.Copy !req
30. Goddamn, I hate gin.
Dee, you bitch.Copy !req
31. That's the thing.
This place has got
a good business model.Copy !req
32. We have to emulate it.
That's absolutely right.Copy !req
33. We have to get rid
of all the beer in Paddy's.Copy !req
34. We have to blow the sign
off of the building.Copy !req
35. You know, maybe I'll do
the blowing. That's fine.Copy !req
36. Charlie, Charlie,
stop, stop, stop.Copy !req
37. Do you think a human being
can blow a sign
off of a building?Copy !req
38. - I didn't until Mac said it.
- I never said that.Copy !req
39. A grown man cannot blow
a sign off of a building.Copy !req
40. In Charlie's defense,
you could loosen the screws,
get up there and blow...Copy !req
41. We are talking
about the Internet.Copy !req
42. You cannot blow a sign...
You are derailing
the conversation.Copy !req
43. Shh!Copy !req
44. Ugh! Ew.Copy !req
45. What the hell was that?Copy !req
46. Okay, don't worry
about it, okay?
Guys, we gotta get on this.Copy !req
47. He's absolutely right.
No distractions.Copy !req
48. Paddy's needs to get connected.Copy !req
49. Look at the Gin Bar's
Facebook page. They have
like 50,000 friends.Copy !req
50. - Crazy.
- Links to Twitter viral videos.Copy !req
51. Their Web presence is amazing.Copy !req
52. - We could do
a viral video for Paddy's.
- Well, we can't afford not to.Copy !req
53. That's right.
We'll do a really cool video...Copy !req
54. of how we serve gin
in spaghetti cans
or something like that.Copy !req
55. - And we take the sign down.
- Frank, you're getting hung up
on the wrong things.Copy !req
56. The old booze and the no sign
have nothing to do with it.Copy !req
57. Yeah, what kind of a douche bag
walks into a bar...Copy !req
58. just 'cause it doesn't have
a sign outside of it? That's
stupid, Frank. Use your head.Copy !req
59. But that's the most
important thing... exclusivity.Copy !req
60. Weird drinks, no sign.
That's cool.Copy !req
61. Maybe so, but I like...Copy !req
62. Paddy's sign, so it stays up.
Yeah.Copy !req
63. I got the sign down.Copy !req
64. And there's no way a man could
have blown that off of our bar.
There's just no way.Copy !req
65. - You're totally wrong about that, Mac.
— Yeah.Copy !req
66. - I never once said that!
- Did you not?Copy !req
67. Okay, forget it. Forget it.
Charlie, we're doing a viral
video thing now, okay?Copy !req
68. All right. Listen.
Can I stop all this
for one second?Copy !req
69. I don't mean to derail us,
'cause this is very,
very important stuff,Copy !req
70. but, um, I'm getting
a little hung up on something.Copy !req
71. The guy that shushed us
last night...
Is that bugging anybody else?Copy !req
72. I've been thinking
about that too.Copy !req
73. Have you been
thinking about that?
I really have.Copy !req
74. What are you talking...
You were in the middle of
telling Charlie to keep quiet.Copy !req
75. I was telling him
to be quiet. I was
telling him to be quiet.Copy !req
76. I tell everybody to be quiet.
I don't shush them
like they're animals.Copy !req
77. I use my words.
Whatever. I'm gonna go get
the video camera.Copy !req
78. Yeah.
Yes. Guys,Copy !req
79. you're normally very excited
about making videos, all right?Copy !req
80. Guys, let's just focus.
We have bigger fish to fry.
Yeah, let it go.Copy !req
81. I can't let it go.
I can't let it go either.Copy !req
82. I won't let it go.
I'm irritated by it.Copy !req
83. I'm not gonna let it go.
Uh, yeah, but the viral video
thing is very important.Copy !req
84. We'll get to that.
We'll pop a shush on the guy,
and we'll be right back.Copy !req
85. - Let's... Yeah.
- You could just
find the guy on Facebook.Copy !req
86. That's where you find people
these days.Copy !req
87. You're not gonna find the guy
on Facebook. There's three
billion people on there.Copy !req
88. Are you crazy?
Yeah, you don't even
know the guy's name.Copy !req
89. - We don't know his name.
- Go on Facebook,
magically find a guy.Copy !req
90. Facebook.Copy !req
91. Found him.
Really?Copy !req
92. Yeah. He was friends
with the Gin Bar.
Holy shit.Copy !req
93. - Yeah, that's him.
- That's him.Copy !req
94. Facebook is amazing.
We are all connected.
Right? Okay.Copy !req
95. We're all connected.
Yeah, we're connected.
So let's get back to business.Copy !req
96. Uh, viral video.
Yeah, but now that
I'm seeing his face...Copy !req
97. Mm-hmm.
I gotta be honest.Copy !req
98. It was very annoying
last night when he did that.
It pissed me off. Right?Copy !req
99. Maybe we can just, you know,
send him a friend request
and then...Copy !req
100. Yeah, see if he responds...
Then we'll get back
to what we were doing.Copy !req
101. - Okay, yeah. Distracted.
- All right. Did he respond?Copy !req
102. Not yet.
How long does it
usually take?Copy !req
103. Oh, you know, it depends on
if he's online or not. Refresh.
Refresh.Copy !req
104. No.
No. What if
you hit it faster?Copy !req
105. I mean, here's the problem
with, like,
Facebook and Twitter.Copy !req
106. You know, everyone says,
oh, it's changing the world,
but not in a good way, you know.Copy !req
107. We're not connected
with each other anymore.Copy !req
108. Tweeting... that's not having
a conversation. What is that?Copy !req
109. No, no.
And then these people
who do that shit...Copy !req
110. They hear you having
a real conversation with your
real buddies, your real pals,Copy !req
111. and they get all
jealous and pissed off,
and they want to shush you.Copy !req
112. Yeah, right.
And you know what else
is bugging me about this guy?Copy !req
113. I cannot get past the fact
that we're perfect strangers.Copy !req
114. He doesn't know me. I mean,
for all this guy knows,Copy !req
115. I'm a psychopath with a trunk
full of chain saws, right?Copy !req
116. He shushes me
'cause he doesn't like
the volume of my conversation,Copy !req
117. next thing he knows
he's chopped to bits in
a basement somewhere, you know.Copy !req
118. Was that worth it?
No. And I could be a man
with a fist full of hammers...Copy !req
119. Right.
and a trunk full
of duct tape and zip ties.Copy !req
120. This guy doesn't know me.
Is he crazy?Copy !req
121. It's very upsetting to me
that he didn't consider
any of that.Copy !req
122. Yeah, well, this is not
a considerate man, Charlie.
This is a rude man,Copy !req
123. and they are very seldom
the same people.
Yeah.Copy !req
124. Uh, sir.
Yeah.Copy !req
125. Can we get you
for a second? We've got a...Copy !req
126. - What can I get for you guys?
- Well, we're looking for a man.Copy !req
127. Um, yeah. This guy
was a real douche bag.Copy !req
128. He was in here
the other night. Uh...
Yeah, douchey looking.Copy !req
129. Kind of douchey.
Yeah. I wish I had a picture
of the guy, but we don't. Um...Copy !req
130. Oh, he's a shusher.
Oh, yes. Right.Copy !req
131. This is a douche bag
who goes around shushing people
that he doesn't even know.Copy !req
132. Yeah, people
who could have chain saws.
Or hammers.Copy !req
133. I mean, is any of this
ringing a bell to you?Copy !req
134. No. Sorry, but I don't really
see what the big deal is.Copy !req
135. The big deal.
You don't even see
what the big deal is?Copy !req
136. The big deal, sir,
is that a grown man shushed me
and my friend here.Copy !req
137. We demand satisfaction
from this person, okay?Copy !req
138. We gotta find this guy
because we have
important shit...Copy !req
139. that we're trying to do
on the Internet, or whatever.Copy !req
140. We have much bigger
things going on.
The sign is down, okay?Copy !req
141. The sign is down.
He took our sign down.Copy !req
142. It's never been down.
You see what I'm saying?Copy !req
143. - No.
- I'm getting frustrated.Copy !req
144. I'm also very frustrated.
Look. How would you
like to be shushed?Copy !req
145. I don't think I'd care.Copy !req
146. - Shh! How'd that feel?
- I mean,
I was finished speaking.Copy !req
147. Well, shh to you!Copy !req
148. - Again, I was done, so...
- Well, you're speaking
too fast.Copy !req
149. Stop speaking
in such short sentences.Copy !req
150. Then we can shush you
in the middle and you'll know
how it feels.Copy !req
151. Okay, do you guys
want a drink, or what?
Yeah.Copy !req
152. Yeah, we want drinks.
Absolutely.Copy !req
153. - Okay, so two house specials?
- Shh!Copy !req
154. - Specials. Yeah.
- Yeah, two house specials.Copy !req
155. Got interrupted.
How'd that feel?Copy !req
156. On your way.Copy !req
157. I think you got him
with that one though.Copy !req
158. I don't exactly
feel good about it.Copy !req
159. No.
But he had to know how it feels.Copy !req
160. Yeah, but you nailed him.
Thanks, man.Copy !req
161. Hey, you know,Copy !req
162. I think I know
how we can get a picture
of this shusher guy.Copy !req
163. What you thinking?Copy !req
164. Refresh.Copy !req
165. Goddamn it.
Why won't this guy
be our friend?Copy !req
166. It's like an online shush.
You know, I...Copy !req
167. Okay, Paddy's Pub has
over 30 friends at this point.Copy !req
168. Why will this guy
not accept our friend request?
He's too good for us?Copy !req
169. Don't complain.
Just hit refresh again.
You son of a bitch!Copy !req
170. Refresh.Copy !req
171. Ha! I got
the video camera!Copy !req
172. All right. Mac,
say "I got infected."Copy !req
173. - What?
- Say it!Copy !req
174. I got infected.
Get that away from me.Copy !req
175. Deandra, okay, now here you go.Copy !req
176. Say "I got the bug."
No, I'm busy, Frank.Copy !req
177. Say "Bug."
Bug!Copy !req
178. - What are you doing?
I'm shooting the virus thing.Copy !req
179. - What virus thing?
- The virus thing...Copy !req
180. that you guys said we were
gonna infect all our friends
on Facebook or whatever.Copy !req
181. Oh! We got him!
We got him?Copy !req
182. We got you, Dylan Toback!
You giant douche!Copy !req
183. Are you guys gonna help me
do the virus thing, or what?
We're busy right now, Frank.Copy !req
184. Yeah, we're doing the shushing
thing first, Frank.Copy !req
185. But you said the virus video
was the most important thing.Copy !req
186. No, no. No.
We said the viral video
is very important,Copy !req
187. and it is very important,
but we're on to this now.
You know, we'll do it later.Copy !req
188. Why don't you get it started
and then we'll come and fix
what you did, okay?Copy !req
189. All right, but hurry up.
Oh, check out these updates.Copy !req
190. "I am a man-whore.
I hate women.
I am a liar."Copy !req
191. He admits
that he is a liar.
Son of a bitch!Copy !req
192. Uh, looks like
he is shopping for a silk sash
at Tootie's, on South Street.Copy !req
193. A silk sash at Tootie's?Copy !req
194. What an asshole.
Hmm.Copy !req
195. Okay. Daddy got a new plan.
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
196. Daddy got a new plan.
Let's head down to Tootie's,Copy !req
197. and we'll fire a shush
right in his face.Copy !req
198. We'll shush him real quick.
But we won't tell Dennis and
Charlie, 'cause they mocked us.Copy !req
199. Eventually we'll
tell them though, right?Copy !req
200. We won't tell them
right now, but we'll come back,
and we'll jam it in their faces.Copy !req
201. Face!
Yeah, once we shush him.
Okay, let's go.Copy !req
202. Okay.
Great idea.
Great idea!Copy !req
203. I want to make sure
you got the nose right though.Copy !req
204. That's the most important
part to me, because
it was an annoying nose.Copy !req
205. It was a nose that
you wanted to smack.Copy !req
206. Then give him, like,
almond eyes if you...Copy !req
207. You've already said that.
And don't compliment
the man.Copy !req
208. It's not a compliment from me,
'cause I don't like people
with almond eyes.Copy !req
209. I find it creepy.
All right. Can we just
take a look at the drawing?Copy !req
210. Because we kinda
need to get out of here.Copy !req
211. You've done an excellent job.Copy !req
212. Really good. Wow!Copy !req
213. And what is your technique, sir?
Because I want to learn that.
That is...Copy !req
214. You know, the only thing
that would help this, is if
you had him do this gesture...Copy !req
215. Oh, my God.
Because when the man
assaulted us...Copy !req
216. Mr. Reynolds, Mr. Kelly,
I'm Detective Larson.Copy !req
217. I'm gonna need to
clear something up
on your report here.Copy !req
218. We're good, actually,
'cause we got...
Yeah, we're good.Copy !req
219. It says here this was
filed as an assault,Copy !req
220. but the only thing
that you're claiming was
that this man shushed you?Copy !req
221. Yeah.Copy !req
222. Yeah.
But it was an assault.Copy !req
223. Shushing somebody
is not an assault.Copy !req
224. There was more to it than...
He... Yeah... It wasn't
just shushing though.Copy !req
225. Yeah...
And the reason
it was an assault...Copy !req
226. was because he was shushing
our cries for help.Copy !req
227. Right.
This guy was raping us...Copy !req
228. - Well... Wha...
- He was raping you?Copy !req
229. Yeah.
Well, yeah.Copy !req
230. - Yeah.
- The both of you?Copy !req
231. No. You can't rape
two guys.
No.Copy !req
232. No, no, no.
I wouldn't even
necessarily classify it...Copy !req
233. You know what happened
was that he only raped
my friend here.Copy !req
234. I actually
shook him off in time.Copy !req
235. The guy never quite
made it inside of me,
but my friend here... Yeah.Copy !req
236. So he was only raping you?Copy !req
237. Yeah.
Yep.Copy !req
238. Yeah.
He, like, really, kinda made
soup of your insides...Copy !req
239. No. No, no, no.
He barely made it in there,
so, trust me, I'm fine.Copy !req
240. - Yeah, but he bit his dick.
- Not... What?Copy !req
241. No, he did...Copy !req
242. He... He...Copy !req
243. The reason we were
gonna file it as a rape...Copy !req
244. was because he did make it
inside me, but,
like, just barely.Copy !req
245. And the guy was super-small,
so I'm fine.Copy !req
246. And then I did get away.Copy !req
247. Well, don't-don't write
any of this down.
Look. Can we just drop the case?Copy !req
248. Yeah!
Right?Copy !req
249. We don't need to...
We just need the drawing.Copy !req
250. I didn't even think about that,
because if we have the drawing,
we can find the guy.Copy !req
251. We can dole out the justice...
And then this never needs
to go in any files anywhere.Copy !req
252. If you and Mr. Reynolds
are filing a false
police report,Copy !req
253. there's no way in hell
you're getting out of here
with that drawing.Copy !req
254. All right, Charlie.Copy !req
255. I got another plan.Copy !req
256. - How's that?
- That's perfect.Copy !req
257. That looks exactly like him.
Yeah, I mean, he wasn't
in a dune buggy,Copy !req
258. and he didn't have...
No, he was not.Copy !req
259. A propeller on his head.
I like the shushing though.Copy !req
260. You nailed the shushing!Copy !req
261. Tootie's. Tootie's.
This is it.Copy !req
262. Ew!Copy !req
263. Is that him?
That's him.Copy !req
264. - That is him.
- Let's do this.Copy !req
265. Hey, Dylan Toback.Copy !req
266. Shh!
Shh!Copy !req
267. Oh. Hey.Copy !req
268. Sorry about that, ma'am.
Hi, ma'am.Copy !req
269. Uh, we thought you were
this guy, Dylan Toback.
He shushed us, and...Copy !req
270. We were gonna
shush him back. Yeah.
Yeah.Copy !req
271. We didn't think
you were a man, per se...
I did.Copy !req
272. Okay, I did too.
I did because of your hair.Copy !req
273. Here's why. It's the hair,
and it's the cardigan,
and it's the build...Copy !req
274. Yeah, and it's the way
you stand. Broad shoulders.
But that's okay. That's okay.Copy !req
275. There's nothing
you can do about that.Copy !req
276. Have a nice day.
I'm still confused.Copy !req
277. I'm very confused.
It's sort of
a transgender situation.Copy !req
278. Are you guys
looking for Dylan Toback?
Yes.Copy !req
279. Yeah. Do you know him?
He posted on Facebook
that he was here.Copy !req
280. Well, can you guys
keep a secret?Copy !req
281. No!
Ye... Yes.Copy !req
282. Yes, I can... Yes, yes.
Yes, yes.Copy !req
283. That wasn't him. It was me.
I started a Facebook page
to get back at him.Copy !req
284. I'm his ex-girlfriend,
and he was the worst.Copy !req
285. He was always like,
"Sally, send me money."Copy !req
286. "Sally, mail me hair."Copy !req
287. - Mail him hair?
- Weird, right?Copy !req
288. Yeah. And then he posted a bunch
of naked pics of me online,
and that was the last straw.Copy !req
289. Oh, my God!
That's disgusting.Copy !req
290. I know.
Naked pics online? Where?
Where did he post those?Copy !req
291. I don't know.
One of those disgusting
ex-girlfriend porno sites.Copy !req
292. Oh, those disgusting
ex-girlfriend porno sites.Copy !req
293. I mean, there's so many
of them though. Which one?
Which one did he post it on?Copy !req
294. - Do you know
where we can find him?
- Oh, I can give you his address.Copy !req
295. - I don't give a shit.
- Really?
- Great! Great!Copy !req
296. Also, put down one of
the sites that was...Copy !req
297. Listen. Do you want to
come with us and maybe
get some payback?Copy !req
298. That's... Well...Copy !req
299. Here's the thing.
He's never actually met me.Copy !req
300. Well, the pics I sent
were a little more...Copy !req
301. flattering than I actually am,
and so we just sort of
had this online relationship.Copy !req
302. - Mmm. Mm-hmm.
- But the hair I mailed
was mine.Copy !req
303. - That was real.
- Okay, you know what? This
chick is douchier than Dylan.Copy !req
304. Let's get out of here.
Yeah.Copy !req
305. No, I'm not even gonna look
for those nude photos.Copy !req
306. I might.
I might though. I might.Copy !req
307. Come on, man.
This guy's been in here.Copy !req
308. He's got the annoying nose
that you wanted to smack.Copy !req
309. Evil almond eyes.Copy !req
310. I'm sorry, guys. I've never
seen a cartoon character in here
shushing people before.Copy !req
311. Well, he wasn't
in a dune buggy.
Yeah.Copy !req
312. Look. Use your imagination.
Yeah, he's not
a cartoon character, okay?Copy !req
313. Would you just
take this seriously?Copy !req
314. I don't see how I could
take this seriously.Copy !req
315. He's not helping.Copy !req
316. No.
He's not gonna be a help to us.Copy !req
317. You're just gonna be
difficult, so go get us
more gin drinks.Copy !req
318. That's-That's all
you're good for.
More of the gin.Copy !req
319. God. All right.
Here's what I'm gonna do,
Charlie.Copy !req
320. I'm gonna write
"Rude man who shushes...
please call" at the top,Copy !req
321. and then, at the bottom,
I'll put my phone number.
Right.Copy !req
322. Right? Then we'll make
a shitload of copies,Copy !req
323. we'll put them up all over
town, and it'll act like
a wanted poster.Copy !req
324. Okay, wait. So you want
the rude man to call you?Copy !req
325. No, I want people
to call me
about the rude man.Copy !req
326. - But if the rude man calls me...
- that works too.Copy !req
327. That works too!
All right.
That's gonna work.Copy !req
328. Hold on a second. You're cool
just putting your personal
information out there?Copy !req
329. Yeah! I'm absolutely cool
with that, man, because
I'm saying "Connect with me."Copy !req
330. That's what we're talking
about. People just don't
connect these days.Copy !req
331. I'm saying,
"Call me. Let's have
a phone conversation."Copy !req
332. Yeah, don't tweet.
Don't just tweet me.
Don't shush me.Copy !req
333. You know, let's connect.
Let's have a connection,
you know.Copy !req
334. Don't be rude.
Let's talk about rude people.Copy !req
335. Let's talk about people
who do rude things,
you know.Copy !req
336. Mm-hmm.
I guarantee you,
people will respect this.Copy !req
337. Okay, one little roadblock.
No big deal.Copy !req
338. But let's shush this guy and
get out of here, because it's
starting to get complicated.Copy !req
339. Yeah. And what was happening
back there? Sending
nude pictures of yourself?Copy !req
340. That's just stupid,
and that's desperate.
Yeah, and hair?Copy !req
341. I mean, sending hair...
That's just demented.Copy !req
342. Well, the hair I don't
really have a problem with.
What are you talking about?Copy !req
343. What is the point of that?
You send your hair to a guy,Copy !req
344. and, you know, you just
give that guy a sense of you
and your smells and...Copy !req
345. Oh, oh! Shh!
Shh!Copy !req
346. Okay. Come on.
Goddamn it!Copy !req
347. We're looking for
Dylan Toback.
Is he around?Copy !req
348. Oh, Lord.Copy !req
349. I knew this day
would come.
Um, come in.Copy !req
350. Okay, but listen. We don't
have a lot of time, okay?Copy !req
351. Um, a few months ago,
my daughter Jamela bought me...Copy !req
352. this brand-new computer,
and she put it right here.Copy !req
353. - Speed up, speed up, speed up!
- Okay. So, ever since Jerry
got put on life support...Copy !req
354. - I have nothing but time...
- Whoa! Slow down,
slow down, slow down!Copy !req
355. - Ew. I didn't see him there.
- I've had nothing but time
on my hands.Copy !req
356. And I've been so lonely,
you know.Copy !req
357. Okay, well, does any of this
have anything to do
with Dylan Toback?Copy !req
358. - Oh, why is she doing that?
- Um,Copy !req
359. I am Dylan Toback.Copy !req
360. No. No. No.
Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm.
No, you're not.Copy !req
361. Don't say that.
We don't have time
for that, okay?Copy !req
362. Is anybody online the person
who they say that they are?Copy !req
363. Okay, do you know how to find
the real Dylan Toback?Copy !req
364. Well, what I'm saying
is he doesn't exist.Copy !req
365. I made up the name Dylan Toback.Copy !req
366. I've made up dozens of names.
I'm really good at it.Copy !req
367. My real name is Catfish!Copy !req
368. What the hell
is happening here?
Here's what I gather.Copy !req
369. I think she went on
the Gin Bar's Web site,Copy !req
370. found a picture of that guy
and then made up a whole name
and personality for him.Copy !req
371. So we don't know
the guy's name.
No.Copy !req
372. We don't even know
if he's on Facebook.
Nope.Copy !req
373. How the hell are
we gonna find him?
I don't know.Copy !req
374. Well, how did you find me?Copy !req
375. Was it that Sally?
Because that bitch
been getting on my nerves.Copy !req
376. - So you know Sally?
- Oh, well, Dylan knows Sally.Copy !req
377. No, he doesn't,
'cause Dylan isn't real!
And you know what?Copy !req
378. Sally isn't Sally anymore.
Sally is now Dylan.Copy !req
379. Yeah! And what about
the nude photos?Copy !req
380. - This is not about
the nude photos, Mac.
- Shh! Shh!Copy !req
381. Don't you shush me!
Don't you shush us,
goddamn it!Copy !req
382. - Don't disturb Jerry!
- Disturb Jerry? I'm disturbed!
He should be disturbed!Copy !req
383. This whole thing is disturbing.
If you shush me one more time,
I will put you in the ground.Copy !req
384. Do you hear me?
You know what? Dee!
We're losing focus.Copy !req
385. Let's just get back
to the bar. We'll find
the nude photos there.Copy !req
386. - Oh, yeah, yeah.
Let's focus on the...
- Well, hold on.Copy !req
387. Don't you want your hair back?Copy !req
388. - Is that your hair, Dee?
- Oh, come on.Copy !req
389. - You're Carl Lundegard?
- Yeah.Copy !req
390. What is the problem?
Are we not putting these
in the right part of town?Copy !req
391. We put them
in every part of town.Copy !req
392. I know.
Ooh, ooh. Here we go.Copy !req
393. Here we go. Okay.
Come on.Copy !req
394. - Hello?
— I saw that guy you were looking for.Copy !req
395. You did? Oh, that's great.
Okay, can you tell us
where exactly the...Copy !req
396. Shh!
Uh, no. Oh, you do not!Copy !req
397. Oh! You...
He shushed me.Copy !req
398. Another one?
Yes, another shusher
shushing me on the phone.Copy !req
399. All right.
Maybe the poster is
the problem because it says...Copy !req
400. "Rude man who shushes...
please call"...
Right.Copy !req
401. So rude men are calling
just to shush you.Copy !req
402. To shush me.
This is prank calls.Copy !req
403. Am I gonna have to change
my phone number? That's
a pain in the ass.Copy !req
404. You never want to put
your personal information
out there in the world.Copy !req
405. Yo!
People abuse it.Copy !req
406. - You find the guy?
- No!Copy !req
407. He's unfindable.
We just hit a bunch
of dead ends.Copy !req
408. - The guy is a ghost.
- I know! We tried to
track him down on Facebook,Copy !req
409. but it got very strange.Copy !req
410. Like, it was just a bunch
of girls pretending to be boys,Copy !req
411. and Dee banged
a fat old black lady,Copy !req
412. and then sent her hair.
That's not...
All right.Copy !req
413. Hey! I did the video,
and I sent it to all of
Paddy's Facebook friends.Copy !req
414. You did?
Yep.Copy !req
415. Frank to the rescue.
Oh, ho!
Frank saves the day.Copy !req
416. All right.
Good work, Frank.Copy !req
417. Nice.
Let's check out
what you got here.Copy !req
418. the oldest pub in America.Copy !req
419. Well, that's not true.
Right.Copy !req
420. - No, I lied. Everybody lies
on the Internet.
- He's right.Copy !req
421. Everybody out there is lying
to get what they want.
Why can't we?Copy !req
422. Totally.Copy !req
423. We have a variety of old liquors
served in strange containers.Copy !req
424. We are packed with
celebrities... the fun ones.Copy !req
425. We also have cockfights
and strippers.Copy !req
426. And guess what.Copy !req
427. We don't have a sign,
so good luck finding the place.Copy !req
428. But if you do, you'll be lucky,Copy !req
429. 'cause we also got donkey shows,Copy !req
430. Mötley Crüe and cake.Copy !req
431. Awesome. Awesome.
Okay, okay.Copy !req
432. Okay.
That's awesome.Copy !req
433. That is awesome.
Frank!
I gotta hand it to you.Copy !req
434. I think I would go to this bar.
I would definitely
go to that bar.Copy !req
435. This is the best part,
coming up.Copy !req
436. So spread the word
to all of your friends.Copy !req
437. At Paddy's Pub,
you're guaranteed to catch a...Copy !req
438. Virus!Copy !req
439. Just ask this guy.Copy !req
440. I got infected.
Get it away from me.Copy !req
441. - Or her.
- No, I'm busy.Copy !req
442. She looks like she caught the...Copy !req
443. Bug!Copy !req
444. So spread this video
to all of your friends,Copy !req
445. because it's a computer virus.Copy !req
446. Virus!Copy !req
447. Take it from me.Copy !req
448. I am a doctor.Copy !req
449. Dr. Toboggan.Copy !req
450. Mantis Toboggan.Copy !req
451. What?
You sent that to all of
our Facebook friends?Copy !req
452. Yeah!Copy !req
453. They're gonna think they have
a computer virus, Frank.Copy !req
454. Wait.
You're the ones who said
we needed the virus video.Copy !req
455. I said a viral video,
Frank. Goddamn it.Copy !req
456. Goddamn it!
Oh, my God. We never should've
left him in charge.Copy !req
457. The problem is we got
focused on the guy.Copy !req
458. We didn't help him with his...
This whole thing
is a total mess.Copy !req
459. I mean, absolutely nothing good
has come of today.Copy !req
460. - No, we wasted all of our time.
- Excuse me.Copy !req
461. This is a bar, right?Copy !req
462. We noticed you guys
didn't have a sign
out front.Copy !req
463. Thought that was pretty cool.Copy !req
464. You guys open?Copy !req
465. Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
466. Yes. We are.Copy !req
467. Charlie, lock the door.Copy !req
468. Come on in.
Oh!Copy !req
469. English - US - Line 21Copy !req