1. Reunion! Reunion! Reunion!
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2. Smash 'em up!
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3. This is great.
This brings me back.
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4. I know.
I'm anxious.
I'm excited.
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5. It's Adriano Calvanese, Charlie.
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6. It's the guy who coined
the name Aluminum Monster.
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7. And I've got a plan
to get revenge.
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8. - Yo, Dennis!
- Shit!
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9. It's Tim Murphy,
the asshole that slept
with my prom date.
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10. This is my wife, Christie.
Dennis and I used to be
really good friends.
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11. Adriano made fake tickets!
Those tickets are fake!
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12. Ronnie the Rat
strikes again, huh?
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13. - Wait.
I'm a grown goddamn man!
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14. I don't have ringworm.
No, no, we're cool.
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15. Yeah, we're, like, the... Ohh!
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16. Oh, really?
Ohh!
Son of a bitch.
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17. Well, this is great, Dee.
This is just great.
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18. Used to be king
of the mountaintop.
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19. Now I'm sitting alone at a table
at my high school reunion...
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20. with my sister,
the Aluminum Monster.
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21. Yeah, I know. I was on the
mountaintop too, okay, Dennis?
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22. I got to find a way
back there.
Got to get a plan.
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23. Hold on.
Hold on a second.
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24. Ingrid!
Ingrid Nelson.
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25. Hey!
Hi,
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26. Dennis and Dee.
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27. Carrying around
a clipboard, huh?
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28. Dork.
Yeah.
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29. Well, I'm
on the alumni
association.
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30. So...
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31. Fatty Magoo!
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32. Right?
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33. Everybody!
Fatty Magoo!
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34. Honk!
What? Don't...
What are you doing?
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35. She's not fat anymore.
That doesn't really play.
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36. Oh, really?
'Cause I'll see it on the sides,
and I'll see it in the thighs.
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37. Still fat to me,
still fat to you.
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38. Fatty Magoo, Fatty Magoo,
Magoo, Magoo, Magoo, Magoo...
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39. Is this why
you called me
over here?
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40. Magoo, Magoo, Magoo, Magoo!
Fatty Magoo, Fatty Magoo!
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41. - Right. It was super fun
to see you guys.
- Right? Everybody! Magoo!
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42. Did anybody...
Did you guys...
Did you see her?
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43. Drop it.
What...
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44. Oh, God, she just wasn't
that fat anymore, was she?
No, she looks...
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45. That felt very forced.
Yeah, 'cause she's
so pretty these days.
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46. She looks fantastic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, she looked really good.
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47. Only kind of works when
you're sitting at a table
with the cool kids.
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48. That seemed pathetic
and mean. It did.
Yeah, it was.
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49. Wasn't it? Yeah.
I got to find a way
back into that group.
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50. Dee, I think you need to
stop focusing on how to
get back in with them...
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51. and start focusing on how
to get revenge on them.
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52. Yeah.
You're exactly right.
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53. I need revenge on them.
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54. And that's what I want too.
Okay, well, what's our plan?
What's our plan?
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55. Ooh, I want revenge.
All right, so here's
how we're gonna do it.
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56. I'm gonna bang
Tim Murphy's black wife.
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57. Oh, shit.
Yeah.
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58. Oh, shit!
That'll do it.
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59. That's gonna humiliate him.
That will humiliate him!
Yes! You know what I'll do?
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60. I will bang Tim Murphy,
get back at Adriano.
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61. That's a good plan. The problem
is, I don't think Tim Murphy
would ever sleep with you.
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62. Wait a sec. Hold up.
Wh-Wh-Wh-What are you do...
What's my part of the plan then?
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63. Mmm... Oh!
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64. Grab this.
We only get
two drink tickets.
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65. Whoa.
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66. What happened?
Why am I hanging here?
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67. The cool kids
got us.
It was a massacre.
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68. Ah, shit!
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69. All right, you guys.
I'm ready to be
your friend again.
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70. No, Dee, get out of here.
Get away from us.
Get away from us!
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71. What are you doing?
Look, you guys,
I'm on your team, okay?
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72. I always was on your team.
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73. I had a strike plan,
but then Cricket went
and blew up my spot.
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74. You goddamn bitch!
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75. Okay, look, that's not
the important thing, all right?
Bitch!
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76. The important part
is that I'm here now,
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77. and I'm on your team
and I want revenge,
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78. and I need you guys
to help me come up
with a plan.
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79. She's right.
We need revenge, and I know
how we're gonna get it.
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80. Yeah.
Charlie?
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81. We gotta
get the freight train
back together.
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82. Freight train?
That's a great idea.
That's a good plan!
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83. - Nope. That's not a great idea.
That's a terrible idea.
- What's a freight train?
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84. It's a stupid group of imbeciles
who called themselves a gang.
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85. It was basically just
Charlie, Mac and Dooley.
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86. May he rest
in peace.
God rest his soul.
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87. And they were basically
just lackeys of this guy
named Psycho Pete,
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88. who genuinely was mentally ill.
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89. Our conductor's
insane.
Our cargo is pain.
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90. Freight train!
Freight train!
Freight train!
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91. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
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92. Let's get ahold
of this Psycho Pete
and kick some ass!
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93. Yeah!
Let's do it!
Freight train!
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94. No.
No?
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95. No, I don't like
that plan, so...
Come on!
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96. Get us down, Dee!
We're gonna kick some ass!
No?
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97. Deandra,
come back here!
Come here!
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98. Goddamn...
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99. All right, let's just see if
they have Psycho Pete's name tag
and if they were expecting him.
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100. If we get our psycho back,
we get the freight train back.
Yes.
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101. What's his last name?
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102. Uh, I don't know.
No, me neither.
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103. Guess we weren't that close.
It would have been cool
to be closer to him.
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104. He was such
a dark, mysterious guy.
You know?
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105. What about,
uh, Peter Schmidt?
Is that the guy?
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106. No.
Oh!
No, that's Schmitty.
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107. Ah, shit.
Is he coming?
No way.
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108. Schmitty would never come
to something like this.
Not his scene.
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109. If anything,
he'll swoop in
at the very end,
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110. grab the drunkest girl he can,
take her home, bang her.
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111. Ha! Schmitty's so cool.
Oh, yeah.
Not that cool though.
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112. Way cooler than you,
Dirtgrub.
Not as cool as Adriano!
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113. Stop defending Adriano, okay?
Will you stop
with the Schmitty stuff?
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114. We're snipping with
each other. It's like...
Oh! Magoo!
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115. - Hi.
- Hey, hey!
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116. - I saw you
trying to get by us.
- I know!
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117. - You can't get away from us.
Fatty Magoo, Fatty Magoo.
- No, I'm not fat anymore.
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118. That's not even accurate.
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119. That's true.
Yeah, well, you used to
be fat. I don't kn...
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120. Yeah, well, I'm not now.
I had a thyroid problem.
What's your excuse?
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121. I've tacked on mass. I've
tacked on lots of mass, yes.
Really?
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122. All right, all right.
Now, do you remember
Psycho Pete?
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123. Unfortunately, yes.
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124. Any word on if he's
coming tonight, or...
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125. Well, I hope not.
He's the reason
we have extra security.
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126. He threatened to
burn down the building.
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127. That's...
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128. He was probably
just joking.
That's his sense of humor.
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129. He has a very dark
sense of humor.
Gotta lighten up around Pete.
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130. Was he joking when he cut his
family into little pieces and
ate 'em for Christmas dinner?
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131. That doesn't sound
like a joke.
Did that really happen?
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132. Yeah, that sounds
much more serious.
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133. That's...
That's grisly.
Grisly.
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134. Psycho.
Psycho
is how it sounds.
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135. - That's how
he got out of prison.
- Oh, the insanity plea.
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136. Yes.
Okay.
Well, that makes sense.
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137. I would have gone with that
if I was his attorney.
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138. Although really
I specialize in bird law,
so I don't want to mess around...
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139. That's awesome.
So, it was really nice
to, uh... Okay.
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140. Yeah.
Yeah.
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141. So I guess
the freight train
is gone. Is that it?
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142. Yes. Let's get outta here.
It's over.
Yeah. I guess we're off to...
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143. Hey, you guys,
you guys, you guys.
Okay...
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144. Hi! Oh, good to see
you guys again.
Change of plans, okay?
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145. I can't think of my own thing
to do, so I want to join the
freight train or whatever it is.
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146. - Get lost, bitch.
- No, no, no, no!
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147. Hang on a second.
Hang on a second.
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148. Now, guys, the freight train
never let a loser down in need.
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149. If Dee wants in on the freight
train, we have to let her in
on the freight train.
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150. Dee just has to do one thing.
She's got to go through
the freight train initiation.
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151. We got to know
that Dee's one of us.
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152. - So, Dee.
- Yeah?
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153. Are you willing to go through
the freight train initiation?
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154. Yes, I am.
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155. Oh, no, no... Oh! Goddamn!
Oh, no! I am a grown woman!
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156. I am a grown woman!
Aah!
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157. I mean, cuff links? Tim!
At a high school reunion?
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158. It's not the Oscars.
I mean...
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159. Oh.
Geez!
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160. Yeah, and he can be
a little too nice
sometimes.
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161. Oh.
Can get
a bit boring.
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162. Oh, trust me, Christie,
he's boring as shit.
I know that. All right?
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163. I'd rather get
blasted in the balls
by a battering ram...
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164. than have to
have a conversation
with the guy.
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165. You're crazy!
Am I crazy? Am I?
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166. Yes!
He deceives people,
Christie.
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167. No.
That's what he d...
Oh, yeah.
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168. He steps on his friends
to climb to the top
of the mountaintop,
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169. where his good friend
used to reign supreme,
that's what he does.
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170. I mean, quite frankly,
Christie, I think you can do
a lot better than him.
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171. No, he's good to me.
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172. Mm-hmm.
Yeah, but does he
appreciate you?
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173. I mean, Christie,
does he appreciate...
all of that?
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174. Dennis!
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175. Baby's got back, Christie.
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176. Baby's got back.
You know what I'm saying?
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177. Am I right though?
Am I right?
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178. Listen, listen, listen.
I want to be inside you.
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179. I want to do shit to you...
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180. that is gonna
make you realize
what a worthless,
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181. boring piece of shit
your husband really is.
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182. Wait a second. I'm confused.
Why would you want to
have sex with me?
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183. Why the hell wouldn't I
want to have sex with you?
I mean, bam, boom, boom.
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184. Because you're gay.
What?
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185. I'm not gay.
Dude,
you're wearing makeup.
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186. Yeah, I'm wearing
a little bit of makeup.
Who-Who doesn't...
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187. And a girdle.
Yeah.
I wanted to seem thin for
the occasion. That's not weird.
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188. You've also been
gossiping with me
for the last 20 minutes.
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189. I was speeding
through the steps.
I have a system that...
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190. I was demonstrating value
on the dance floor,
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191. and then I engaged you
physically when I
put my hands on your hips.
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192. Now I'm nurturing
your dependence by
letting you talk shit...
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193. about your boring, worthless,
piece-of-shit husband.
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194. Then I was gonna take you to
an empty broom closet and I was
gonna bang the shit out of you.
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195. And then I was gonna
neglect you emotionally.
That's what I do, Christie.
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196. And it was working. I was
manipulating your feeble little
brain into doing what I want.
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197. What I want!
And now it's what you want.
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198. - Ew!
- Oh, "ew!" Oh, yeah, okay.
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199. Yeah, well,
your husband is a liar.
How about that, Christie?
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200. Yeah, stay with a liar!
And a deceiver.
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201. Tim does not deserve to be
the king of the mountaintop.
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202. I am the king
of the mountaintop!
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203. I reign supreme
over everyone
in this school!
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204. I am the golden god
of this place!
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205. I reign supreme!
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206. I!
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207. I!
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208. Dee, I'm sorry
we threw your back out,
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209. but you're lucky
that's the worst thing
that happened.
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210. And it's a lucky thing
I brought the back brace.
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211. Oh, yes, lucky!
So lucky!
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212. I'm feeling very, very lucky
to have my asshole ripped
in half like tissue paper...
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213. by my father
and his very good
friends.
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214. A-A-And also,
I'm feeling
incredibly lucky...
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215. to be making
another appearance
as the Aluminum Monster...
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216. after so many years.
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217. Thank you.
Thank you.
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218. And I don't think
you're gonna get to bang
Adriano now either.
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219. You don't think so?
You don't think so?
Guys, this whole thing...
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220. has been a wash, all right?
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221. Let's get out of here, because
there's no way we're gonna
get revenge on those guys...
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222. without Psycho Pete.
Yeah.
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223. - I've been humiliated enough.
- Son of a bitch!
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224. You bastard!
You bastard!
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225. Whoa!
Jesus Christ!
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226. Dennis, you're coming out hot.
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227. I am the king of the minions,
not Tim Murphy!
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228. - Not that jerk-off idiot!
- Jerk-off!
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229. What the hell
are you doing, man?
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230. She rejected me.
Me, Frank, me!
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231. The coolest guy
in the history
of this goddamn school!
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232. Oh, they're all gonna pay.
They're all gonna pay
the ultimate price!
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233. Whoa!
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234. Dude, what's
all that stuff
you're grabbing?
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235. Tools! Tools!
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236. Duct tape, zip ties and gloves!
I have to have my tools!
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237. Wh-Why do you have a bunch
of, like, weird tools...
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238. in a hidden compartment
in your car?
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239. It's fetish... It's fetish shit!
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240. I like to bind.
I like to be bound. I...
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241. Uh, that's not important!
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242. Don't ask me questions!
I'm not taking questions!
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243. The golden god
is not taking questions!
I am the golden god!
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244. I-I'm taking action!
I got to go.
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245. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
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246. Wait a second, Dennis.
Wait a second.
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247. I think we can
help you, dude.
Yeah?
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248. Yeah, we can help each other.
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249. We both want the same thing.
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250. Revenge.
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251. You're gonna be
our new Psycho Pete, pal.
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252. And guess what.
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253. The freight train's
back in service!
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254. Let's get nuts in that school.
Let's get crazy, all right?
All right.
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255. Come on, let's get
some revenge here.
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256. Train's coming.
Watch out for the train.
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257. The train's coming!
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258. Make way!
Freight train
coming through!
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259. All aboard!
Toot-toot!
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260. We don't do the toot-toots.
We're a train.
Why wouldn't we toot-toot?
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261. It's just not what we do, okay?
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262. Okay, bitches!
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263. Get ready
for the steam engine!
And get it!
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264. I'm gonna destroy you all.
But I want Murphy first.
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265. So let's go, Murphy,
you and me, once and for all.
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266. Come on!
What you gonna do now,
pussies?
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267. We got
our psycho back.
Yeah!
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268. - What the hell are you guys
talking about?
- The freight train, cowboy!
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269. Look, everybody.
The Aluminum Monster's
back.
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270. - It's a good look.
- Ha-ha, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's really good. Really...
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271. Just send Murphy out
so our psycho can bash him.
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272. - Okay, you guys, let's get
out of here. This is weird.
- Yeah. See ya.
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273. Where you going?
You afraid?
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274. No. We're not afraid.
We're in our 30s.
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275. We don't fight
people anymore.
It's kind of pathetic.
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276. Yeah? Well, too bad,
'cause the fury's
already coming, bitch.
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277. So too late.
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278. You just couldn't stand it,
could you?
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279. You couldn't stand
Dennis Reynolds...
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280. reigning on high!
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281. King of all the school!
Master of everybody!
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282. You couldn't stand it,
so you had to turn
everybody against me.
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283. Dude, listen to yourself.
Nobody turned anybody
against you.
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284. You were never that cool
to begin with.
Seriously, man.
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285. You would just come around
saying weird shit...
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286. about being a golden god
or some other insane crap.
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287. And referring
to all of us
as your minions.
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288. You always acted
like you were better
than everybody else,
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289. but then you'd just go
and you'd hang out with
Ronnie the Rat or Dirtgrub...
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290. under the bleachers
or behind a Dumpster
or something.
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291. It was...
It was really weird.
Weird.
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292. Yeah, sure, okay.
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293. Yeah, well, if I wasn't
the coolest guy in school,
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294. then why did you have to
try and tear me down by
sleeping with my prom date?
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295. No, I... I didn't sleep
with your prom date.
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296. Yes, you did!
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297. No, I didn't.
Ronnie the Rat did.
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298. Wait... What?
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299. Ronald McDonald
slept with your prom date.
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300. Did he tell you that I slept
with her? I never would have
slept with that chick.
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301. She was gross.
She was gross.
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302. She was gross.
She was gross.
I remember that. Yeah.
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303. She was really gross.
You slept with my prom date?
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304. No.
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305. Yes.
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306. - How could you
do that to me?
- It was very easy.
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307. Uh, she was a whore.
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308. - I'm gonna kill you.
I'll gonna kill you!
- No, don't. Wait!
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309. I'm gonna kill you,
you fat piece of shit!
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310. This is mass! This is mass!
Don't make it about my weight!
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311. You guys are good, so...
Take care!
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312. - I know she was a whore,
but she was my whore!
- Break it up! Calm down!
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313. This is pathetic.
This is awful.
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314. We've all been humiliated.
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315. Our asses are destroyed.
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316. Y-Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
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317. And Dennis turned out
to be a loser.
You know what?
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318. Let's just go back
to the bar, right?
The bar is where we belong.
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319. The bar is where we fit in.
We can hide from the world
at the bar.
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320. Yes, yes.
I agree with Charlie.
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321. I never want to set foot
in this high school
ever again.
Right?
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322. No!
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323. We can't go out like that.
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324. Look,
if life pushes you down,
you got to push back.
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325. If you're dealt
a bunch of lemons,
you got to take those lemons...
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326. and stuff them
down somebody's throat
until they see yellow.
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327. And if some punk-ass kid
humiliates you,
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328. you gotta do the only thing
that's left to do.
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329. - Yeah!
- Whoa! Whoa!
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330. Yes, Frank.
Oh, wow, that was
a great speech, man.
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331. That's the most coherent
thing that's ever
come out of your mouth.
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332. - That was awesome, dude.
- You usually just ramble
on and on and on.
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333. That was like
a basketball coach.
All right, so what is it?
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334. Huh?
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335. What's the one thing left to do?
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336. What is it?
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337. Well, the thing of it is,
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338. is that, uh, there's
the lemon stuff.
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339. Right.
And then
you got Mac,
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340. who's a rat.
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341. And Dee's body brace.
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342. And, uh...
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343. And that's
the thing of it, and...
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344. It's good.
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345. What are you saying?
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346. No, w-we... You were
gonna tell us what to do.
That doesn't...
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347. We didn't
ask if something was good
or if it wasn't good.
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348. I lost my train of thought.
Let's go back to the bar.
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349. Yep.
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.
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350. Were you gonna suggest that
we should... do Plan "B"?
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351. - No.
- Plan "B"!
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352. That's what I was gonna say!
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353. That's...
We're not doing Plan "B."
Come on.
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354. Hey, listen.
We worked so hard on it.
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355. Come on.
We're not doing Plan "B."
It's ridiculous.
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356. Dennis, Plan "B"
might be the only option
we have left.
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357. Ah, come on. Come on.
Come on, Dennis.
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358. Jesus, come on.
Plan "B" is...
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359. Plan "B." Plan "B."
Shh, not too loud.
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360. Stop whispering "Plan 'B'"
like it's some super-covert
C.I.A. operation!
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361. Plan "B" is a dance routine.
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362. It's a goddamn dance routine.
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363. And it's gonna rock.
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364. Beep-beep.
Get out of there.
Beep-beep-bop.
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365. We're gonna need
this dance floor!
Clear the dance floor!
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366. Let's go!
Let's go!
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367. Go on!
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368. All right, listen up, jerks!
Listen to us!
Listen to us!
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369. There's been a lot
of negative energy going on
at this school, okay?
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370. So I want to talk to you guys
a little bit about dancing.
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371. Now, back in the '50s
and the '60s and the '70s,
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372. people used to dance
all the time.
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373. That's the way
we solved our problems.
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374. That's how
they solved their problems...
through dance.
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375. Then all of a sudden,
we stopped dancing.
You know?
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376. Grunge came in.
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377. We dressed in... in plaid
and oversized jeans.
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378. Then later on, kids wore
trench coats and shot each other
in school, and that's not cool.
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379. But guess what.
Guess what's going on
in the high school now.
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380. Kids are dancing again.
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381. Organized choreographed dance!
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382. They're doing organized
choreographed dances
to solve their problems.
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383. They also give each other
blow jobs.
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384. They got these things
called rainbow parties.
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385. All right, wrap it up.
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386. They have these rain...
Yeah, but that's not
the point of the...
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387. The point is,
we're gonna show you
a dance!
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388. Let's get started.
Let's go!
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389. Lights.
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390. Whoo!
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391. Five, six, seven, eight!
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392. Well, that was weird.
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393. Hey, everyone!
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394. After-party
back at my house,
all right?
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395. Everyone's invited...
except them.
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396. Let's go!
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397. Wh...
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398. That sucked!
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399. Yeah, man.
It was a perfect dance.
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400. They just didn't respond to it.
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401. I don't understand
how that didn't blow
people's minds though.
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402. Guys, guys.
We did a great job, okay?
Don't get down on yourselves.
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403. Those people are stupid.
They're idiots. They're savages.
They just didn't get it.
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404. Oh, come on.
Hey!
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405. Hey, hey, hey!
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406. Wow.
Great dance, assholes.
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407. You know what?
Just like you
low-life shits,
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408. I didn't get invited
to the after-party either.
But whatever.
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409. I'm just gonna have sex
with somebody
to feel better about myself.
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410. I'm gonna bang
the next person
who talks to me.
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411. So who's it gonna be?
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412. Hi-yah!
How you doing, fellas?
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413. Hey, Schmitty. Excuse me.
How you doing, everybody?
Did I miss the festivities?
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414. - Huh? What are we doing here?
What's going on?
- Schmidt! No, no!
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415. Hey, how are you?
Do you wanna
have sex with me?
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416. Yes, I do.
Well, there you go.
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417. See you, guys. Monster.
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418. - You all right? Where you
wanna go? You got a car?
- I don't know.
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419. - We'll use mine. Come on.
- Schmitty.
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420. Let's go back
to the bar, huh?
Yeah.
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421. Let's go, Charlie.
Back to the bar.
Yeah.
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422. Schmitty just...
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423. Swooped in
and grabbed the...
Schmitty.
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424. The most disgusting girl here.
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425. English - US - Line 21
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