1. Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.Copy !req
2. It's been one week since
my last confession.Copy !req
3. Okay, my son.Copy !req
4. In the name of the Father, Son and
Holy Spirit, what is your confession?Copy !req
5. I'm fat.Copy !req
6. Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.comCopy !req
7. Oh, great and angry God, I
command thee to smite my friends!Copy !req
8. Now, calm down, son.Copy !req
9. Calm down.Copy !req
10. Let's try and remain composed.Copy !req
11. Okay, Father.Copy !req
12. I'll try, but I can't promise
anything 'cause I'm pretty excitable.Copy !req
13. Also, I'm super pissed because
my friends made me fat.Copy !req
14. How did your friends make you fat?Copy !req
15. Were they force-feeding you?Copy !req
16. Well, no, not exactly.Copy !req
17. This whole thing started because
we became incredibly successful,Copy !req
18. and then they became monsters, which
in turn made them make me fat.Copy !req
19. So, really, I'd like to confess on them,
because they're sinners and pricks.Copy !req
20. Son, I don't think you understand
the purpose of confession.Copy !req
21. Right.Copy !req
22. All right.Copy !req
23. Sorry, Father.Copy !req
24. You need the context.Copy !req
25. Let me start at the beginning.Copy !req
26. Now, my friends and I own and
operate a bar in South Philly.Copy !req
27. And a few weeks ago, we became more
successful than we ever have before.Copy !req
28. It was insane.Copy !req
29. Oh, oh, oh!Copy !req
30. Look who's back!Copy !req
31. I scored a shitload of fireworks.Copy !req
32. Out of my way, Frank.Copy !req
33. Oh.Copy !req
34. Hey.Copy !req
35. Whoa.Copy !req
36. North Carolina-- what
a hell of a state.Copy !req
37. Not now, Frank.Copy !req
38. We're packed.Copy !req
39. What the shit is
going on around here?Copy !req
40. I really don't get it.Copy !req
41. I don't see how we're so popular now.Copy !req
42. I just can't
wrap my head around this.Copy !req
43. Were we doing anything different?Copy !req
44. Guys, we may have tipped.Copy !req
45. Uh-oh.Copy !req
46. No, this is a good thing.Copy !req
47. This is what happens with
success in business.Copy !req
48. Hmm?Copy !req
49. Okay, if you keep making the
right decisions over time,Copy !req
50. eventually you will get to a point where
you tip, and you become successful.Copy !req
51. It's like that book The Tipping Point.Copy !req
52. I totally buy that.Copy !req
53. I totally-- like, check
out this decision.Copy !req
54. I keep a very clean bar
every day, very tidy.Copy !req
55. I think people respond to that.Copy !req
56. They say, "What was that clean
bar I was at the other week?"Copy !req
57. And then they show up again.Copy !req
58. And then someone says, "Hey,
did you see that clean bar?Copy !req
59. Let's go there."Copy !req
60. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
61. And my comedy, you know.Copy !req
62. Like, all my, all my funny jokes
and stuff that I throw out.Copy !req
63. You know, I'm like the cute, funny
waitress who has all theseCopy !req
64. one-liners and hilarious jabs I
throw at the customers, and ICopy !req
65. add all that charm to the place.Copy !req
66. That's-That's probably doing it.Copy !req
67. Yeah, good-looking guy like
myself, takes pride in hisCopy !req
68. personal appearance, takes pride
in his personal hygiene, hasCopy !req
69. great hair.Copy !req
70. You know, you put a guy like that
behind the bar, and peopleCopy !req
71. will eventually flock to this man.Copy !req
72. That-That's what you're saying, yeah.Copy !req
73. That's what you're saying.Copy !req
74. Sort of.Copy !req
75. I didn't think it was...
No, the point is that we gotCopy !req
76. to keep doing what it is that we do.Copy !req
77. Yes.Copy !req
78. No matter how psychotically vain...
Right.Copy !req
79. ...or needy and pathetic
or, I mean, just plain sad.Copy !req
80. Well, let's not put labels on
it, 'cause we don't know whichCopy !req
81. one is the one that is the most...Copy !req
82. If we keep doing all of it...
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
83. ...then we'll keep tipping up.Copy !req
84. Yes.Copy !req
85. Nice.Copy !req
86. In order to maintain this
success, I do think though weCopy !req
87. need to get some rest.Copy !req
88. Let's do the right thing here for
once in our lives, and let'sCopy !req
89. go home and get a good night's sleep.Copy !req
90. But that sleep would never
come, Father, because successCopy !req
91. was about to change everything.Copy !req
92. Hey, Charlie, you asleep?Copy !req
93. Charlie, are you asleep?Copy !req
94. No. No.Copy !req
95. I had a great idea.Copy !req
96. I don't want to hear it.Copy !req
97. Frank, I'm a successful man now, okay?Copy !req
98. I need to maintain a certain level
of excellence, so I can'tCopy !req
99. have you, like, telling me
terrible ideas all night, 'causeCopy !req
100. that brings me off my excellence, okay?Copy !req
101. Okay, but this is a great idea.Copy !req
102. I don't want to...
We take, we take the M-80sCopy !req
103. that I have, and we stic'em in
some lamb and pa-cha, we blow it up!Copy !req
104. What are you looking to do?Copy !req
105. Like, flash-cook a-a gyro sandwich?Copy !req
106. Yeah.Copy !req
107. That's a good idea.Copy !req
108. Flash-cook a sandwich.Copy !req
109. Oh, my God...
Cook the meat immediately.Copy !req
110. I mean, what you're talking
about is just a meat bomb, andCopy !req
111. that's a waste of a good lamb.Copy !req
112. So if you're done with coming up
with terrible ideas, um, I'mCopy !req
113. going to go back to bed.Copy !req
114. A meat bomb!Copy !req
115. You-You blow it up.Copy !req
116. I mean, like, just take the
thing and stick it...Copy !req
117. I'm going to the crevice!Copy !req
118. No, no, no, no!Copy !req
119. Charlie, Charlie, Charlie,
don't go in the crevice.Copy !req
120. Charlie, don't go in the crevice.Copy !req
121. I'm going in the crevice.Copy !req
122. Come on, don't go in the crevice.Copy !req
123. Oh, come on, man.Copy !req
124. Oh, my God!Copy !req
125. Yello.Copy !req
126. Hey-o.Copy !req
127. It's Mac.Copy !req
128. What's up?Copy !req
129. Hey-o!Copy !req
130. 'Sup?!Copy !req
131. Yeah, I'm going to go out and rage.Copy !req
132. Is Charlie there?Copy !req
133. Hey, it's Mac.Copy !req
134. He wants to go rage.Copy !req
135. I don't care.Copy !req
136. I'm in the crevice.Copy !req
137. He's in the crevice.Copy !req
138. Shit, he's in the crevice?Copy !req
139. I'll come out with you.Copy !req
140. We'll go out.Copy !req
141. You and me, we'll go together.Copy !req
142. We'll have a ball.Copy !req
143. Hello?Copy !req
144. I-I'm not seeing how this
relates to your weight gain.Copy !req
145. Uh, I'm telling a story, Father.Copy !req
146. Frank's not a guy that usually
comes up with plans.Copy !req
147. I mean, you want to know all the
key players and how successCopy !req
148. affected them, right?Copy !req
149. Well, I think your time could
be better spent if you focusCopy !req
150. more on yourself.Copy !req
151. But I haven't done very much wrong.Copy !req
152. Okay, you know what, Father?Copy !req
153. I'm just going to plow ahead,
because I'm sensing someCopy !req
154. resistance.Copy !req
155. And Dennis always tells me, never
let someone's resistanceCopy !req
156. stop you from getting what you want.Copy !req
157. So, the bar's success continued.Copy !req
158. But Dee's inflated ego about her
comedy was keeping her fromCopy !req
159. doing her job.Copy !req
160. Kids these days, they have so
many more choices than we hadCopy !req
161. when we were little.Copy !req
162. Am I right?Copy !req
163. Excuse me? Excuse me?Copy !req
164. I mean, it's like, do youCopy !req
165. want to watch Kung Fu
Panda on Blu-ray... Excuse me?Copy !req
166. Oh, my God. Yeah?Copy !req
167. We are still waiting on those beers.Copy !req
168. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
169. Right in the middle of the joke.Copy !req
170. And now where was I with it?Copy !req
171. Can, um, we get those margaritas
that we ordered a while ago, as well?Copy !req
172. That'd be great.Copy !req
173. Yeah.Copy !req
174. Can I finish the joke?Copy !req
175. 'Cause the funny part comes at the
end, so you're going to missCopy !req
176. it if you don't... Right.
No, you-you keep trying to tell jokes and...Copy !req
177. Well, you keep interrupting
me, and that's why I'm not...Copy !req
178. Well, they're not really
landing is what I'm trying to...Copy !req
179. Oh, they're not landing
because I'm not getting to theCopy !req
180. punch line, so if you could just
be patient and let me get it out.Copy !req
181. Kids these days have so many more choices...
No, don't, don't try toCopy !req
182. finish the joke.Copy !req
183. Don't try to finish the joke.Copy !req
184. I'm not even going to listen.Copy !req
185. Oh, I just want my margarita, I
just want my margarita, I justCopy !req
186. want my margarita.Copy !req
187. You know what, you're not
getting your margarita.Copy !req
188. Thanks.Copy !req
189. Why do we have this?Copy !req
190. What is this?Copy !req
191. Dude, where the hell have you been?Copy !req
192. Uh, slept in.Copy !req
193. You slept in?Copy !req
194. It's, like, almost the
middle of the night, man.Copy !req
195. Why were you sleeping in?Copy !req
196. Oh, God.Copy !req
197. Well, because I drank three
bottles of champagne and hungCopy !req
198. out with a stray dog all
night under a bridge, okay?Copy !req
199. It was sweet.Copy !req
200. Can I please get, like, 20
margaritas so this bitch willCopy !req
201. listen to my kid joke?Copy !req
202. Okay, first of all, your
jokes never land, all right?Copy !req
203. So please don't concentrate on
your comedy anymore, 'cause it'sCopy !req
204. terrible, all right?Copy !req
205. I'm sorry, I said it.Copy !req
206. Look, can we just do
what we normally do?Copy !req
207. I shouldn't even be
bartending, all right?Copy !req
208. I'm in over my head, I'm yelling
at customers 'cause I'm gettingCopy !req
209. a little agitated here.Copy !req
210. Can Dennis please come
here and do this?Copy !req
211. Where is Dennis?Copy !req
212. Dennis is in the bathroom, and
he's been there for, like, an hour.Copy !req
213. Okay, company meeting in
the bathroom, okay, guys?Copy !req
214. Company meeting.Copy !req
215. Let's go.Copy !req
216. Dennis?Copy !req
217. Where are you, bud?Copy !req
218. Company meeting.Copy !req
219. Uh, I'm in here.Copy !req
220. All right, good, man.Copy !req
221. Hop on out. Company meeting.Copy !req
222. I don't want to.Copy !req
223. You have to.Copy !req
224. It's a company meeting.Copy !req
225. You have to... No.Copy !req
226. What's going on in there?Copy !req
227. I'm bashing it.Copy !req
228. Huh?Copy !req
229. I'm bashing it.Copy !req
230. Oh, no. Don't bash.Copy !req
231. Don't bash.Copy !req
232. I'll come out. I'll come out.Copy !req
233. Oh.Copy !req
234. Uh, I saw a couple gray
hairs, and I was, like, "I'llCopy !req
235. eradicate those," and then...
With black paint?Copy !req
236. Well, just-just go
easy on me, all right?Copy !req
237. Don't make fun of me or anything.Copy !req
238. I feel very sensitive right now.Copy !req
239. It's hard to maintain all this.Copy !req
240. You look like Superman.Copy !req
241. Oh, cool. Yeah, right on.Copy !req
242. Well, he was the
original, right, so...?Copy !req
243. The original what?Copy !req
244. S-Superhero. He was, like... Ugh.Copy !req
245. Is that what you're going for?Copy !req
246. No.Copy !req
247. Dude, come on.Copy !req
248. It would be that obvious,
like, if you didn't know me.Copy !req
249. You'd be, like, "Oh, shit.
Maybe that's Superman."Copy !req
250. No, you wouldn't.Copy !req
251. Everyone knows who Superman is,
and they know it's not you.Copy !req
252. Shit. Right.Copy !req
253. Guys, come on.Copy !req
254. Clearly, success is starting
to get to all of us.Copy !req
255. We can't be Superman.Copy !req
256. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
257. Uh, yeah. No shit.Copy !req
258. I'm running around like
an animal out there.Copy !req
259. I mean, all I'm doing
is serving drinks.Copy !req
260. You're supposed to serve
drinks; You're a waitress.Copy !req
261. People need their drinks, and we need
a waitress to serve those drinks.Copy !req
262. Guys, don't change now.Copy !req
263. All right?Copy !req
264. We have a certain chemistry
that got us here to begin with.Copy !req
265. All right?Copy !req
266. We don't need to start...
Oh, that's terrible.Copy !req
267. Let's just get back out there and
step it up a little bit, please.Copy !req
268. Let's just get back to work,
man, and do what we do, okay?Copy !req
269. You're not good.Copy !req
270. "Back to work.Copy !req
271. Back to work, everybody.Copy !req
272. I'm Charlie, and I'm in
charge all of a sudden."Copy !req
273. Are you eating in there?Copy !req
274. Uh, yeah, I got some donuts and
some M&Ms and some, uh, chips.Copy !req
275. I could pass them through
if you want some.Copy !req
276. You aren't allowed to eat in here.Copy !req
277. I'm sorry, Father.Copy !req
278. I-I have enough.Copy !req
279. If you want a donut, I
could give you one.Copy !req
280. You better put that away and
come back when you're finished.Copy !req
281. Okay.Copy !req
282. I... I'm done... done.Copy !req
283. Uh, so Charlie was up all night
working, and Frank was stillCopy !req
284. coming up with plans,
and they were not good.Copy !req
285. Oh, shit.Copy !req
286. Oh, my God.Copy !req
287. It's morning already, huh?Copy !req
288. Ow!Copy !req
289. Hey, that's good.Copy !req
290. You want to do that to people?Copy !req
291. What is that?Copy !req
292. What are you doing?Copy !req
293. It's a plan.Copy !req
294. We'll do it to people.Copy !req
295. We'll go around... Look at that.Copy !req
296. Look at the look on your face.Copy !req
297. That's so good.Copy !req
298. Frank, I don't even think
you know what a plan is, dude.Copy !req
299. All right, I got something else
I've been working on all night.Copy !req
300. Come on, come with me.Copy !req
301. Lock up, let's go, come with me.Copy !req
302. Don't hit me with the stick again.
Oh, my God.Copy !req
303. Okay, Charlie?Copy !req
304. All right, look at this now.Copy !req
305. I put two extra stop signs.Copy !req
306. Yeah.Copy !req
307. Now there's four stop signs.Copy !req
308. All right So no cars can go.Copy !req
309. Frank, you've just created
a four-way intersection.Copy !req
310. If anything, you've made
this intersection safer.Copy !req
311. No shit. Oh.Copy !req
312. Look, dude, I don't have time
for these shenanigans, all right?Copy !req
313. I need sleep.Copy !req
314. I'm a success now.Copy !req
315. I'm trying so hard not to tip.Copy !req
316. Ow.Copy !req
317. You need sleep?Copy !req
318. Stop hitting me with the
stick, dude, I swear to God...Copy !req
319. This is the plan, this is
the one we should have done.Copy !req
320. Don't hit me with that anymore. Oh!Copy !req
321. That was the one.Copy !req
322. You little bitch.Copy !req
323. And Charlie was, like, "I'm
gonna jam that stick up your ass."Copy !req
324. And then Frank was, like, "Come here,
you little bitch, uh, God damn it."Copy !req
325. Don't need to repeat all
of the obscene language.Copy !req
326. Oh, I'm sorry, Father.Copy !req
327. I... I got lost in the moment
because I'm a natural storyteller.Copy !req
328. Oh... Anyway, I was being super
prudent, and I was mapping outCopy !req
329. my successful lifestyle-- you
know, champagne, sailing.Copy !req
330. I've always wanted to sail.Copy !req
331. I was really the only one who
was handling the success withCopy !req
332. class, to be honest with you.Copy !req
333. When Dee interrupted me with some
lazy plan to get out of working.Copy !req
334. Lazy's a sin, right?Copy !req
335. Uh, you mean sloth?Copy !req
336. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
337. Dee is guilty of sloth,
and she's pro-abortion.Copy !req
338. Hey.Copy !req
339. Okay, listen to this.Copy !req
340. One sec.Copy !req
341. Just picking out the places I want to
avoid when I sail across the world.Copy !req
342. No Africa for you, huh?Copy !req
343. No.Copy !req
344. I don't want to go to any
poor places, you know.Copy !req
345. Successful guy like myself,
I'll have a target on my back.Copy !req
346. Right.Copy !req
347. So, I guess... Okay. Well...
That's, uh... And, uh, too cold.Copy !req
348. Yeah.Copy !req
349. Ugh. Too violent.Copy !req
350. Yeah, it's hot down there.Copy !req
351. Too angry.Copy !req
352. Oh, the whole thing?Copy !req
353. You're just going to sail around the
United States is what it looks like.Copy !req
354. That's all you're... Uh, well, I
probably want to avoid, like, this.Copy !req
355. Yeah.Copy !req
356. Don't blame you for that.Copy !req
357. And I don't know
what happens out here.Copy !req
358. Okay, I tell you what.Copy !req
359. Uh, while you were planning all
of this, I came up with anCopy !req
360. amazing idea that's going
to save everything for us.Copy !req
361. You ready for this?Copy !req
362. We get ourselves replacements.Copy !req
363. That's not a very good idea.Copy !req
364. Well, stay with me.Copy !req
365. They're not just any replacements.Copy !req
366. They'll be the total embodiment
of us in looks and personalityCopy !req
367. so that we maintain the same group
chemistry and avoid tipping.Copy !req
368. So they'll be like our avatars?Copy !req
369. Sure, if that helps you.Copy !req
370. Let's tell Dennis.Copy !req
371. Okay, yeah.Copy !req
372. Hey, hey, hey, Dennis, wake up.Copy !req
373. I'm not sleeping.Copy !req
374. What are you doing?Copy !req
375. Why are you hiding under the covers?Copy !req
376. Mm.Copy !req
377. My God.Copy !req
378. Do I look foolish?Copy !req
379. Well, what in God's name
have you done to your face?Copy !req
380. I got a chemical peel.Copy !req
381. You look like a monster, dude.Copy !req
382. I was just trying to live up to
all of your expectations of me.Copy !req
383. What expectations?Copy !req
384. Physical perfection.Copy !req
385. What?Copy !req
386. Clearly, the success of the
bar has proved that I haveCopy !req
387. achieved physical perfection.Copy !req
388. And now there's nowhere else for
me to go but down from here.Copy !req
389. So now I'm hanging on by a thread.Copy !req
390. Why don't you lay off the
skin treatments for a while?Copy !req
391. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
392. Oh, you don't think I should
mess with my face anymore?Copy !req
393. Well, right now it looks
like you're wearing a mask ofCopy !req
394. yourself over your face.Copy !req
395. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
396. Not a good one, not
a nice mask of myself?Copy !req
397. Not a good one.Copy !req
398. Do you guys think that a normal
mask of me might look good?Copy !req
399. Oh, my God.Copy !req
400. And if there was,
would you guys wear it?Copy !req
401. What is happening?Copy !req
402. I'm very confused.Copy !req
403. I'm going to be alone.Copy !req
404. Okay.Copy !req
405. And without Dennis to shit all
over Dee's ideas with me, I wasCopy !req
406. lured into her very lazy,
slothy, sinful avatar plan.Copy !req
407. Mm, I got to say, I like
what I'm seeing here.Copy !req
408. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
409. Yeah, let me, uh... let me just
fill you in on what we're doing here.Copy !req
410. See, Mac and I run the hottest
bar in Philadelphia, and we areCopy !req
411. looking for a couple of employees
to fill our shoes, literally.Copy !req
412. Mm. That said, there's a set
of dumbbells to your feet there.Copy !req
413. I'd like you to lift those and curl
them, but don't do it in a normal way.Copy !req
414. Now, this is for a
bartending job, right?Copy !req
415. Yeah.Copy !req
416. Yeah, this is all part of it.Copy !req
417. Now, get to work beefcake.Copy !req
418. Okay. Guess I can fire
off a couple reverse curls.Copy !req
419. He said fire off.Copy !req
420. I like that.Copy !req
421. Yeah, I heard him.Copy !req
422. I like that.Copy !req
423. Look... look at that.Copy !req
424. Excellent.Copy !req
425. Oh, man.Copy !req
426. He executed those perfectly.Copy !req
427. Uh.Copy !req
428. That was exactly
what I'm talking about.Copy !req
429. I'd like to fast-track him, Dee.Copy !req
430. He's perfect.Copy !req
431. What? For you?Copy !req
432. Yeah, of course.Copy !req
433. What do...?Copy !req
434. He looks nothing like you.Copy !req
435. Well, no.Copy !req
436. I mean, since we've been working, I've
been neglecting my fitness regimen.Copy !req
437. He understands... No, no, no, no.Copy !req
438. You never, ever once in your
life have looked like that.Copy !req
439. When I leave the gym, and I
have a full pump... Yeah?Copy !req
440. Dee was right though.Copy !req
441. For me to use that gorgeous
muscle monster as my avatar, ICopy !req
442. had to put on some serious bulk.Copy !req
443. So did you go to the gym?Copy !req
444. The gym?Copy !req
445. Father, when Peter did the
statue of David, he wasn't justCopy !req
446. hammering at pebbles.Copy !req
447. First, he ordered the Jews to bring
him a massive slab of marble.Copy !req
448. Okay.Copy !req
449. Let's wrap this up.Copy !req
450. Right.Copy !req
451. Okay, so Charlie was
working his ass off.Copy !req
452. Uh, but the customers were getting
just as frustrated as he was.Copy !req
453. Clearly, the pressures of success
were cracking both he and Dennis.Copy !req
454. Hang on a second.Copy !req
455. Hang on a second.Copy !req
456. I got this guy.Copy !req
457. I got my man right here.Copy !req
458. You're the one who wanted the, uh, two
Coors Lights and the gin and tonic.Copy !req
459. Is that right?Copy !req
460. No.Copy !req
461. I've been waiting half an
hour for a Jack and Coke.Copy !req
462. You've been waiting half an hour?Copy !req
463. You've been waiting half an hour?Copy !req
464. Well, with an attitude like that, you
can wait another half an hour, buddy.Copy !req
465. Hey, this drink tastes like bleach.Copy !req
466. Because I'm dipping them in bleach
so that I can clean them faster.Copy !req
467. I don't have time to
wash every single glass.Copy !req
468. I dip it in bleach, then it's clean!Copy !req
469. I'm not drinking bleach.Copy !req
470. Then get out of my bar!Copy !req
471. Get out of my bar!Copy !req
472. I don't want to see you.Copy !req
473. Is that your buddy?Copy !req
474. You go with him.Copy !req
475. No, I don't even know him.Copy !req
476. You don't even know him.Copy !req
477. Okay, well, become friends,
and you walk home!Copy !req
478. Get out!Copy !req
479. Unbelievable.Copy !req
480. What's going on, man?Copy !req
481. What's going on, dude, is
that I'm completely overwhelmed.Copy !req
482. I suck at bartending.Copy !req
483. I'm going crazy.Copy !req
484. Everyone's yelling at me.Copy !req
485. They're getting all pissed off.Copy !req
486. Why is your face shiny?Copy !req
487. I had my skin
peeled off wh chemicals.Copy !req
488. Yeah?Copy !req
489. Want to know why?Copy !req
490. Not really.Copy !req
491. Well, it's just, uh, you
know, I've created a level ofCopy !req
492. success for myself that, uh, I
just don't know if I can live upCopy !req
493. to it anymore, man.Copy !req
494. My level of excellence is so high
that I'm feeling the pressures, man.Copy !req
495. Dude, I'm operating at
such an excellent level.Copy !req
496. It's insane.Copy !req
497. You know, I'm running at of ten
of excellence, and I'm used toCopy !req
498. being at whatever number.Copy !req
499. I-I don't even want to be at a--
like, somewhere lower, but whatever.Copy !req
500. The point is that I'm not
going to let the bar down.Copy !req
501. You know what I mean?Copy !req
502. He being on the tipping point is
about working hard and caringCopy !req
503. about that work and really
giving it your all.Copy !req
504. Let's get high in the back office.Copy !req
505. Let's get high and
drop all this, right?Copy !req
506. - Yeah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
507. Deandra, you got to-- all you
have to do is hold the pigeon,Copy !req
508. and I stick the M80 under
its wing, I blow it up.Copy !req
509. No, Frank.Copy !req
510. I'm not going to help
you detonate a pigeon.Copy !req
511. That would be terrible publicity
for a young comedienne.Copy !req
512. Well, you-you don't
have to do anything.Copy !req
513. I just-- we stick the pigeon
in there, we run, the flockCopy !req
514. blows up, we got a lot of tasty meat.Copy !req
515. Hold on, hold on.Copy !req
516. Shut up.Copy !req
517. We have a pigeon feast.Copy !req
518. Shut up. What's going on?Copy !req
519. Where is everyone?Copy !req
520. I have all kinds of new
bits and no audience.Copy !req
521. Oh, shit.Copy !req
522. Maybe we tipped too soon.Copy !req
523. No. No.Copy !req
524. I was just starting to
get a taste of success.Copy !req
525. I need more.Copy !req
526. What's that?Copy !req
527. Music.Copy !req
528. Coming from in the back.Copy !req
529. Back here?Copy !req
530. What?Copy !req
531. Hey! What the hell are you
ck bags doing back here?Copy !req
532. The bar is completely empty.Copy !req
533. I'm watching Charlie do his
thing, and it's good, man.Copy !req
534. It's, like, good.Copy !req
535. It looks like we did tip, Deandra.Copy !req
536. We might as well sin and get high.Copy !req
537. I mean, I'm a sinner, too, right?Copy !req
538. Oh, ho, ho.Copy !req
539. Oh, Mac's the best.Copy !req
540. Oh, I love him.Copy !req
541. Isn't he?Copy !req
542. Also, I'm pro-abortion, so I'm
probably going straight to hell.Copy !req
543. Oh, oh, and I got fat.Copy !req
544. I'm much fatter than Mac.Copy !req
545. You're so fat, and, uh...
♪ Oh, big, fat, big, fat Big, fat tittiesCopy !req
546. Big, fat ass. ♪Copy !req
547. You got big, fat titties.Copy !req
548. ♪ Mm-hmm, over here... ♪Copy !req
549. And I like to kill
babies, unborn babies.Copy !req
550. I'm not exactly sure how that
conversation went, but I imagineCopy !req
551. it was along those lines.Copy !req
552. The point is, six weeks later,
they dropped a bomb on me.Copy !req
553. We're not idiots.Copy !req
554. Of course, I'm going to take the
precaution of boiling the bloodCopy !req
555. before I use it.Copy !req
556. Yeah, now, that goes without saying.Copy !req
557. No, no, no.Copy !req
558. It does not matter if
you boil it, Charlie.Copy !req
559. You can't... you can't replace
Frank's blood with bags of bloodCopy !req
560. that you found behind a hospital.Copy !req
561. But... wait, wait.Copy !req
562. It just won't work.Copy !req
563. Dennis, he's not going
to replace my blood.Copy !req
564. He's going to add to it
to make me more virile.Copy !req
565. I'm just pumping more in.Copy !req
566. Yeah.Copy !req
567. So you're just going to be
bursting at the seams with blood?Copy !req
568. Yeah.Copy !req
569. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
570. Hey-o. What's up, bitches?Copy !req
571. I did it.Copy !req
572. I'm 200 pounds.Copy !req
573. I'm as big as my avatar.Copy !req
574. What's an avatar?Copy !req
575. You know the avatar that we're
going to get to do all ofCopy !req
576. our work for us, so I can go
sailing, and-and Dee can tellCopy !req
577. her stupid jokes, and Dennis can
pour more acid on his face.Copy !req
578. Are we still doing that?Copy !req
579. No. We-We gave that plan
up a really long time ago.Copy !req
580. Is that why you've been stuffing
your face for six weeks?Copy !req
581. Yeah. I've been trying to get as
big as my avatar, so we don't tip.Copy !req
582. Dude, that was, like,
a million plans ago.Copy !req
583. All of us, including you-- we've
been engaged in many other plansCopy !req
584. and schemes since then.Copy !req
585. Wh-Where have you been?Copy !req
586. You guys dropped the tipping plan?Copy !req
587. Yeah.Copy !req
588. I thought we were just putting it on
the back burner until I hit two hundo.Copy !req
589. Why do you think we've been
calling you fat this entire time?Copy !req
590. Wh... Why wouldn't somebody
tell me that we dropped the plan?Copy !req
591. Stop chewing on food and
start thinking about what'sCopy !req
592. going on in the bar, and then you...Copy !req
593. Don't-Don't make fun of me, okay?Copy !req
594. I'm-I'm busting my ass out
there trying to do the avatarCopy !req
595. plan, and-and now you
guys are laughing at me.Copy !req
596. But you have candy
coming out of your pocket.Copy !req
597. I was hungry.Copy !req
598. I was hungry.Copy !req
599. Don't laugh at me.Copy !req
600. Don't laugh at me!Copy !req
601. Don't laugh at me.Copy !req
602. Is he trying to rip his shirt off?Copy !req
603. What are you doing?Copy !req
604. You guys are going to hell, okay?Copy !req
605. You guys are going to hell.Copy !req
606. Don't laugh at me.Copy !req
607. What are you doing?Copy !req
608. "Don't laugh at me."Copy !req
609. And that's it.Copy !req
610. So, now you understand.Copy !req
611. I understand none of it.Copy !req
612. Father, my friends totally boned me.Copy !req
613. They became successful,
egotistical monsters.Copy !req
614. They forced me into this avatar
thing, and now they're totallyCopy !req
615. ditching the plan.Copy !req
616. But it's all about the avatar.Copy !req
617. The beefcake avatar.Copy !req
618. But you weren't going to understand
that unless I told you the whole story.Copy !req
619. I'm going to be perfectly honest.Copy !req
620. I still don't know what
you want me to do.Copy !req
621. Okay, um, let me start at the
beginning, because clearly,Copy !req
622. you didn't understand it.Copy !req
623. No, no, no, no, no, no
,hat won't be necessary.Copy !req
624. Uh, if, uh... if I smite your friends
and absolve you, will you leave?Copy !req
625. Yeah.Copy !req
626. You're absolved, and
your friends are smited.Copy !req
627. In the name of the Father, Son
and Holy Spirit, please leave.Copy !req
628. Okay, great.Copy !req
629. Oh, um, when should I see the results?Copy !req
630. What are you talking about?Copy !req
631. Well, when does the spell kick in?Copy !req
632. Wh-When is God going to shed
some of this weight for me?Copy !req
633. Six weeks.Copy !req
634. Great.Copy !req
635. Not hard. Perfect.Copy !req
636. Uh, glory unto you, ghost man in
the sky, that created us all andCopy !req
637. pre-determines everything.Copy !req
638. I'll see you in six weeks.Copy !req
639. Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.comCopy !req