1. Good morning, South
Philadelphia Animal Shelter.Copy !req
2. Yes, hello, I would like
to apply for an adoption, please.Copy !req
3. Hey, what are
you guys talking about?Copy !req
4. We're adopting a
dog-fighting pit bull.Copy !req
5. We're gonna keep it in
the bar, all right?Copy !req
6. Well, why wasn't I
consulted about this?Copy !req
7. Because last time we tried to
get a junkyard dog, we wound upCopy !req
8. getting a junkyard cat, and that's
exactly where you're gonna go with it.Copy !req
9. Yeah.Copy !req
10. Because I don't want some
goddamn snarling hellhoundCopy !req
11. running around inside of our bar!Copy !req
12. Are you crazy?Copy !req
13. Look, we're going to
rehabilitate the dog, okay?Copy !req
14. We don't want it to
attack other dogs.Copy !req
15. Now we would like for
it to attack people.Copy !req
16. If it attacks a person, great!Copy !req
17. Yeah. And, if the dog— or when
the dog— bites a customer,Copy !req
18. that person then can go home and have
a great story for their friends.Copy !req
19. It's a win-win for everybody.Copy !req
20. That's true!Copy !req
21. You can go, like, "Dude, I got
bit a pit bull in a bar."Copy !req
22. In Paddy's! It was awesome!Copy !req
23. Awesome! And if you're an intruder,
you should get bit by a pit bull.Copy !req
24. I don't understand.Copy !req
25. See, the biggest... Uh, how long do
you think this process usually takes?Copy !req
26. Just a dial tone now.Copy !req
27. She just hung up on
me, for some reason.Copy !req
28. Wait for me
in the back back.Copy !req
29. Okay, babe.Copy !req
30. Hey, who's that?Copy !req
31. It's my new girlfriend— Roxy.Copy !req
32. That woman seems
like a prostitute.Copy !req
33. That's because she is.Copy !req
34. You're dating a prostitute?Copy !req
35. Not for long.Copy !req
36. I'm gonna make that whore my wife.Copy !req
37. What the hell...?Copy !req
38. I don't know.Copy !req
39. Are they...?Copy !req
40. Oh, no!Copy !req
41. You did not just do that.Copy !req
42. Oh-ho-ho.Copy !req
43. That-that broad is a live wire.Copy !req
44. I'm goin' outside, 'cause
this place is shit hole!Copy !req
45. What are you cocks lookin' at?Copy !req
46. Frank...
that woman is unspeakably crass.Copy !req
47. You're gonna marry that, Frank?Copy !req
48. She's been my number-one
girl for a long while now.Copy !req
49. But she's still
plowing other dudes.Copy !req
50. In fact, Tiger Woods has
been calling her lately.Copy !req
51. No. No, no, no.Copy !req
52. That can't be the truth.Copy !req
53. That's bullshit.Copy !req
54. There is no way that Tiger Woods
is interested in that woman.Copy !req
55. Look, can't you find someone
who loves you for who you are?Copy !req
56. That woman's only in
it for the money!Copy !req
57. Mm-mm! Let me stop you real quick.Copy !req
58. Someone love Frank for who he is?Copy !req
59. Come on!Copy !req
60. No! He's got a ton
of good qualities.Copy !req
61. Yes, he does!Copy !req
62. I mean, like what?Copy !req
63. Like what?Copy !req
64. Dude, the other day, we were
hanging out under the bridge; weCopy !req
65. found box of denim, and I'm,
like, "You know, these look likeCopy !req
66. good jeans in here," and he's, like,
"You want to split it with me, 50-50?"Copy !req
67. I mean, that's a nice thing to do.Copy !req
68. I wanted you to have
half of that denim.Copy !req
69. He shared half the jeans.Copy !req
70. Charlie! Charlie!Copy !req
71. Stop wearing clothes you find
washing up under bridges.Copy !req
72. Oh, they're boiled, yeah.Copy !req
73. Yeah!Copy !req
74. Yeah, we boil all our denim.Copy !req
75. - Oh, good, well, they're boiled, so...
- Hey!Copy !req
76. Hey, you know, there is some
dirty crack whore in the alley,Copy !req
77. blowing the busboy from the
restaurant down the street.Copy !req
78. This is exactly why
we need that dog.Copy !req
79. Let's get that dog!Copy !req
80. Mac, you look bad.Copy !req
81. Really, really bad.Copy !req
82. What?Copy !req
83. Yeah, is that your
shirt or my shirt?Copy !req
84. That's, like, way
too small for you.Copy !req
85. You look fat as shit!Copy !req
86. Okay, okay, I'm getting very
concerned with the integrity ofCopy !req
87. our organization here.Copy !req
88. Mac, you have gained, I
mean, 50 pounds of fat.Copy !req
89. Mass.Copy !req
90. Fat.Copy !req
91. Muscle.Copy !req
92. Let's be clear: fat.Copy !req
93. It's fat.Copy !req
94. Frank, you are talking about marrying
hookers— this is ridiculous!Copy !req
95. What's going on with our group?Copy !req
96. We're becoming the Gross Crew.Copy !req
97. The Gross Crew?Copy !req
98. The Gross Crew.Copy !req
99. And I don't like that.Copy !req
100. I don't want that, all right?Copy !req
101. I don't want that.Copy !req
102. So, if we're gonna have this
woman hanging around, then weCopy !req
103. gotta clean her up or something.Copy !req
104. I tell you what— what if we took a
Pretty Woman and threw itCopy !req
105. Roxy's way.Copy !req
106. Hey... Pretty Woman?Copy !req
107. That was a bullshit movie.Copy !req
108. People don't change like that.Copy !req
109. People change, Frank.Copy !req
110. Look at me.Copy !req
111. I went from a tiny twink to the
muscle-bound freak you see before you.Copy !req
112. You're not helping my argument.Copy !req
113. Okay, yeah, and if you're gonna
chime in, please don't doCopy !req
114. it with a mouthful of burrito.Copy !req
115. This is a chimichanga.Copy !req
116. You are becoming a chimichanga!Copy !req
117. All right, all of you— I'm
gonna give you all 24 hours toCopy !req
118. do whatever you have to do, but,Copy !req
119. tomorrow night, I am proposing
to that dirty whore.Copy !req
120. This is gonna be a little bit
harder than we thought.Copy !req
121. This woman is a real
piece of shit.Copy !req
122. Uh-huh.Copy !req
123. Where's Frank?Copy !req
124. Don't worry about Frank, Roxy.Copy !req
125. We're here to help you
turn your life around.Copy !req
126. See, a lot of times, the second
act of someone's life can beCopy !req
127. much better than the first.Copy !req
128. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
129. Well, yeah, we just want to makeCopy !req
130. some changes in your life, Roxy.Copy !req
131. Perhaps get you some new clothes.Copy !req
132. Uh-huh.Copy !req
133. Uh, hopefully, teach
you some manners.Copy !req
134. Shut up, baby dick.Copy !req
135. All right, well, I'm out of here.Copy !req
136. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
137. No, I... Don't go, don't go.Copy !req
138. We haven't even started yet.Copy !req
139. Come on... Frank was right.Copy !req
140. This woman cannot change.Copy !req
141. People don't just change.Copy !req
142. People change!Copy !req
143. She can change.Copy !req
144. I'm gonna change.Copy !req
145. What? You're gonna change?Copy !req
146. What the hell are
you talking about?Copy !req
147. Well, I'm gearing up to get
into my second act, you know?Copy !req
148. And that's very exciting for me.Copy !req
149. And I'd like to help Roxy do
the same thing, that's all.Copy !req
150. No... no, no, Dee.Copy !req
151. Aw, really?Copy !req
152. What?Copy !req
153. No, you're already
in your second act.Copy !req
154. Me?Copy !req
155. Yeah. We're all in our second
acts— don't you see that?Copy !req
156. And I, for one, I don't
want things to change.Copy !req
157. I want them to stay the way they
were, because my first actCopy !req
158. was awesome.Copy !req
159. See, your first act was-was
shit, and that's why you're soCopy !req
160. desperate for things
to be different.Copy !req
161. But they rarely ever
do get different.Copy !req
162. If anything— God, they get worse.Copy !req
163. I mean, look at Mac.Copy !req
164. I got salsa on my shirt.Copy !req
165. He got salsa on his shirt.Copy !req
166. Okay... here's howhings need
to go from here on out.Copy !req
167. You gotta deal with this woman,
because I can't handle it...Copy !req
168. all right?Copy !req
169. She made things personal, and
I won't stand for that.Copy !req
170. Somebody needs to take care of
Mac, and that's gonna be me,Copy !req
171. because his fatness is starting
to affect our entire crew.Copy !req
172. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
173. So I'm gonna take him with me,
because the man is carryingCopy !req
174. around trash bags filled
with Mexican foods.Copy !req
175. What's that smell?Copy !req
176. Crack.Copy !req
177. That is crack rock.Copy !req
178. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
179. She's smoking crack!Copy !req
180. Oh, she's smoking crack.Copy !req
181. Okay, she's smoking crack.Copy !req
182. Uh, this is no longer a
safe environment for me.Copy !req
183. Mac, let's go.Copy !req
184. Come on, I gotta get out of here.Copy !req
185. Whew!Copy !req
186. I got a really good
thing going with Roxy.Copy !req
187. She's a sweet bitch.Copy !req
188. Yeah, but she's mean.Copy !req
189. She's definitely only
into you for the money.Copy !req
190. Well, so, Barbara was only
into me for the money.Copy !req
191. Yeah, but you deserve
better than that, man.Copy !req
192. Look, I'm already on it, okay?Copy !req
193. I signed you up on a
dating Web site.Copy !req
194. I got you a date, dude!Copy !req
195. Yeah?Copy !req
196. Check it out, though.Copy !req
197. I got a little twist on this date.Copy !req
198. This girl does think she's
meeting a millionaire.Copy !req
199. Why'd you say that, Charlie?Copy !req
200. That... defeats the purpose.Copy !req
201. Well, I'm gonna be
the millionaire.Copy !req
202. Oh. Explain.Copy !req
203. All right, check it out.Copy !req
204. You're gonna play my
limo driver, right?Copy !req
205. You're just like a regular
working stiff to this girl.Copy !req
206. She doesn't think you're
a millionaire, okay?Copy !req
207. Then we're out on the date and
I'm, like, "Oh, I don't feelCopy !req
208. very well.Copy !req
209. I gotta go home.Copy !req
210. But let's not waste this date.Copy !req
211. Why don't you finish the
date with my limo driver!"Copy !req
212. You know what I mean?Copy !req
213. Smart, Charlie.Copy !req
214. I mean, yeah, she's not gonnaCopy !req
215. be able to resist an
opportunity like that.Copy !req
216. A night with a limo driver?Copy !req
217. This is a good idea.Copy !req
218. - Right?
- I'm gonna give it a whirl.Copy !req
219. - All right, man!
- All right, Charlie!Copy !req
220. Oh, here, I think
these are are done.Copy !req
221. - That first one's done?
- Yeah, this batch is done.Copy !req
222. Just get 'em out.Copy !req
223. Get 'em out— whoo, baby!Copy !req
224. - Whoa! I burned myself on a rivet.
- Yeah...Copy !req
225. Mac, these blood tests are
going to show you the damageCopy !req
226. that you've been doing to your
body, and my hope is that itCopy !req
227. will incentivize you to finally
lose some of this disgustingCopy !req
228. weight you've put on.Copy !req
229. This is ridiculous, dude, okay?Copy !req
230. We're getting older.Copy !req
231. We're not going to
look 20 forever.Copy !req
232. No, I am going to look 20
forever, Mac, because theCopy !req
233. older I get, the more
vigilant I become.Copy !req
234. All right, I don't eat lunch
anymore, for instance.Copy !req
235. Yeah, and on odd days,
I don't eat breakfast.Copy !req
236. That sounds miserable.Copy !req
237. No, dude, it's not miserable.Copy !req
238. Well, yeah, it is a little bit
miserable, but it has to be, man.Copy !req
239. No pain, no gain.Copy !req
240. I am also constantly in motion.Copy !req
241. Like, right now, dude, I am
doing leg lifts that areCopy !req
242. imperceptible to the human eye.Copy !req
243. I call them hummingbirds.Copy !req
244. And although I seem relaxed, I'm
actually incredibly tense at all times.Copy !req
245. Dude, we've been
through this, okay?Copy !req
246. I'm cultivating mass.Copy !req
247. Stop staying that.Copy !req
248. You are not cultivating mass, and
if you are, stop cultivatingCopy !req
249. and start harvesting.Copy !req
250. Bro, check this out.Copy !req
251. Try to move me.Copy !req
252. Wow, I'm not going to try...
Try and move me, bro.Copy !req
253. Take a running start.Copy !req
254. Take a running start.Copy !req
255. Excuse me.Copy !req
256. Did you want me to read
these test results or not?Copy !req
257. Yeah, I was just trying to...
trying to move him.Copy !req
258. He's like a brick wall.Copy !req
259. Yeah.Copy !req
260. You try to move me, Doc.Copy !req
261. No, no, no, you're...
Read the results, Doc.Copy !req
262. Well, I see, uh, severe
dehydration here, multipleCopy !req
263. vitamin deficiencies,
anemia, low blood pressure.Copy !req
264. Ooh.Copy !req
265. Mac, look, I don't want
you to fret, okay?Copy !req
266. I'm going to get you on
my exercise program.Copy !req
267. I'm going to get you
fit as a fiddle.Copy !req
268. Uh, these are...
these are your results, Mr. Reynolds.Copy !req
269. What? No, those can't be my...
my results.Copy !req
270. I'm healthy as shit.Copy !req
271. Well, uh, not according
to your tests.Copy !req
272. I'm healthier
than you, bro.Copy !req
273. Well, I wouldn't exactly
say you're healthy.Copy !req
274. You have type 2
adult-onset diabetes.Copy !req
275. Type 2 adult-onset diabetes?Copy !req
276. What does that mean for me?Copy !req
277. Well, that means you're going
to have to inject yourselfCopy !req
278. several times a day with
insulin, or else you probablyCopy !req
279. need to think about
losing a little weight.Copy !req
280. Whoa.Copy !req
281. But I'm healthy
besides the diabetes?Copy !req
282. Um, no.Copy !req
283. But I'm more healthier than he
is, I think is the point thatCopy !req
284. you're trying to make.Copy !req
285. Even with the diabetes.Copy !req
286. Dude, stop saying "diabetes!"Copy !req
287. You sound like an ass...
You okay, dude?Copy !req
288. I'm fine.Copy !req
289. I just, uh...
been doing a lot of hummingbirds today.Copy !req
290. I'm good.Copy !req
291. Have you eaten anything today?Copy !req
292. No.Copy !req
293. All right, let's get
out of here, bro.Copy !req
294. I'm going to get you
something to eat.Copy !req
295. All right.Copy !req
296. I'm going to lift you up.Copy !req
297. What the hell?Copy !req
298. I'm not as strong as
I thought, Dennis.Copy !req
299. Okay, I've hurt my back.Copy !req
300. I'm shit-faced.Copy !req
301. Yeah, well, you downed that bottle
of schnapps like it was a soda pop.Copy !req
302. Look, Roxy, I'm trying to give
you a second chance here, butCopy !req
303. you're making it very difficult.Copy !req
304. Hey, this jacket is awesome.Copy !req
305. Ooh, and it's tighter
than dick skin, man.Copy !req
306. Can you watch your
language, please, Roxy?Copy !req
307. We're in a classy place with classy
clothes for classy people, okay?Copy !req
308. Don't talk about dick skin.Copy !req
309. Hi.Copy !req
310. Can I help you with something?Copy !req
311. No, thank you.Copy !req
312. We're just trying some stuff on.Copy !req
313. Um, okay.Copy !req
314. Well, you are aware
that jacket is $500.Copy !req
315. Are you implying we
can't afford that?Copy !req
316. Can you?Copy !req
317. That's none of your business.Copy !req
318. Um, it's exactly my business.Copy !req
319. Excuse me.Copy !req
320. Screw your dick skin jacket, man.Copy !req
321. Oh, no, no, no!Copy !req
322. No, no, no, no, Roxy, Roxy!Copy !req
323. Oh, God, no, don't do that.Copy !req
324. How do you like me now, gay boy?Copy !req
325. Well, now, okay, okay.Copy !req
326. Don't call him gay, 'cause it'd
be one thing if he wasn't, butCopy !req
327. he clearly is, so...
Is there a problem?Copy !req
328. Yeah, there's a problem, man.Copy !req
329. I'm trying to buy this coat, and
this asshole here is giving me shit.Copy !req
330. You are aware of the price.Copy !req
331. Well, here.Copy !req
332. 'Cause I have money.Copy !req
333. Oh, shit!Copy !req
334. Jerry, can I talk with you
in my office, please?Copy !req
335. You have got to be kidding me.Copy !req
336. Oh, oh, face, Jerry, face!Copy !req
337. Take a hike!Copy !req
338. Sorry about the gay stuff.Copy !req
339. That did cross the line.Copy !req
340. Jerry, please, my office.Copy !req
341. Roxy!Copy !req
342. Holy shit.Copy !req
343. That was amazing.Copy !req
344. You humiliated that salesman, and then
you had the capital to back it up.Copy !req
345. I love you, Roxy.Copy !req
346. Ooh, I got to meet a client.Copy !req
347. No, no, no, Roxy, you don't
have to do that anymore.Copy !req
348. You know what?Copy !req
349. We should go find Frank, 'cause
he's got a surprise for you.Copy !req
350. No, it's Tiger Woods.Copy !req
351. It's Tiger Woods?Copy !req
352. Yeah.Copy !req
353. Okay, th-this whole thing
is blowing my mind.Copy !req
354. Your life is way more glamorous
than what I was picturing.Copy !req
355. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
356. Now, help me dig these
crack rocks out of my ass.Copy !req
357. That's what I was picturing.Copy !req
358. Yeah.Copy !req
359. That's more like what
I was picturing.Copy !req
360. Charlie, I feel like a sack
of shit in this thing.Copy !req
361. You look good.Copy !req
362. I feel like I'm a... I'm a four year
old going to my sister's wedding.Copy !req
363. You're the limo driver.Copy !req
364. You got to look the part, bud.Copy !req
365. You don't look like
a millionaire.Copy !req
366. I am a casual
millionaire from Texas.Copy !req
367. You look like a farmer.Copy !req
368. Frank, I got the whole
thing worked out.Copy !req
369. Now, listen to me.Copy !req
370. We got out on the date.Copy !req
371. I come down with a slight cough.Copy !req
372. Okay?Copy !req
373. I ask to be taken home.Copy !req
374. You take over.Copy !req
375. You charm the hell out of her.Copy !req
376. I'm so nervous.Copy !req
377. You know how long it's been
since I've been with a non-pro?Copy !req
378. Will you relax?Copy !req
379. Oh, hello.Copy !req
380. Tarnation!Copy !req
381. You look as pretty as a peach.Copy !req
382. Yes, you do!Copy !req
383. Hoss Bonaventure, CEO.Copy !req
384. Uh, this here is my
limo driver, Frank.Copy !req
385. Hi.Copy !req
386. Now, he's the finest driver
in all the land, so you gonnaCopy !req
387. get on just fine with him.Copy !req
388. Hi.Copy !req
389. Uh, hand down.Copy !req
390. Only say hello once.Copy !req
391. He's nervous!Copy !req
392. All right, well, let's-let's...
let's do this thing.Copy !req
393. Get your stuff and giddy on up.Copy !req
394. Calm down.Copy !req
395. You'll be good.Copy !req
396. All right!Copy !req
397. So, uh, how did you
make your fortune?Copy !req
398. Hmm?Copy !req
399. Oh, uh, well, uh, uh, hustlin'Copy !req
400. and a-rasslin'.Copy !req
401. Uh, you know, this and that.Copy !req
402. Uh, made a decent penny in
boiled denims and, uh, theCopy !req
403. bridge business mostly.Copy !req
404. Uh, oh, Frank up there, though,
now, that man is rich in spirit.Copy !req
405. He's rich in caricature.Copy !req
406. Uh, and that's true fortune, if
you're asking me, to have that.Copy !req
407. So you build bridges.Copy !req
408. Um, uh...
I-I'm kind of into bridges myself.Copy !req
409. Yeah.Copy !req
410. I... I-I found a whole case
of eggs under a bridge lastCopy !req
411. week— perfect condition.Copy !req
412. None of them missing.Copy !req
413. None of them cra*** ced.Copy !req
414. I mean, who in their right mind
throws away a perfectly goodCopy !req
415. case of eggs this day and age?Copy !req
416. I mean, it's a sick
world, don't you think?Copy !req
417. Ah, he's good with the conversation and...Copy !req
418. Excuse me.Copy !req
419. Excuse me.Copy !req
420. I believe I'm coming down
with a bit of something here.Copy !req
421. I got bit by a crab
under that same bridge.Copy !req
422. Oh, did you?Copy !req
423. Yeah. You ever been
bit by a crab, hon?Copy !req
424. Can we maybe put this divider up?Copy !req
425. Well, no, we don't want to
exclude a great man like FrankCopy !req
426. from the conver...Copy !req
427. Oh, my God!Copy !req
428. Call 911!Copy !req
429. No, it's okay.Copy !req
430. I have a touch of consumption.Copy !req
431. He's all right.Copy !req
432. Why don't we drop him off?Copy !req
433. You and I will go to dinner, OK?Copy !req
434. I think I've been poisoned
by my constituents!Copy !req
435. Oh, my God!Copy !req
436. Can I offer you a nice
egg in this trying time?Copy !req
437. Yeah, he's got an egg.Copy !req
438. You might...Copy !req
439. I better pull over, okay?Copy !req
440. You know, you two can
go to dinner together.Copy !req
441. Help me somebody!Copy !req
442. Please, help me!Copy !req
443. Aw, shit, Charlie, what the
hell went on back there?Copy !req
444. I swallowed, like, a million
blood caplets 'cause I was gonnaCopy !req
445. cough, like, you know, a handful
of blood to make it it real.Copy !req
446. And not I'm thinking, like,
you're not supposed to eat themCopy !req
447. or something 'cause they're
making me really sick.Copy !req
448. Aw, Charlie, you blew it.Copy !req
449. You're the one talking about
eggs and crabs and shit.Copy !req
450. I love eggs, Charlie.Copy !req
451. I like eggs.Copy !req
452. And I love crabs.Copy !req
453. I like crabs.Copy !req
454. And I love boiling denim
and banging whores!Copy !req
455. I love boiling... Well...
And I don't care if anybodyCopy !req
456. doesn't like that about me.Copy !req
457. They don't have to stick around!Copy !req
458. Screw 'em!Copy !req
459. You're right.Copy !req
460. What's wrong with that chick?Copy !req
461. I miss Roxy.Copy !req
462. Yeah.Copy !req
463. Roxy and and I are
made for each other.Copy !req
464. Yeah. Tell you what, if
it's Roxy you want...Copy !req
465. That's the last of it, I think.Copy !req
466. Tiger Woods?Copy !req
467. I cannot believe you invited
him over here, Roxy.Copy !req
468. My place is a mess.Copy !req
469. Oh, he's here. Are you ready?Copy !req
470. I'm ready. I'm very excited.Copy !req
471. Hello.Copy !req
472. Who are you?Copy !req
473. Tiger Woods.Copy !req
474. Hey, Tiger.Copy !req
475. Hey, girl.Copy !req
476. You brought a friend?Copy !req
477. Yeah.Copy !req
478. Good. I like that.Copy !req
479. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
480. So, you ready to do this?Copy !req
481. I know who you are.Copy !req
482. Of course you do, honey.Copy !req
483. I'm very famous.Copy !req
484. No, no, no, no, hold on a second.Copy !req
485. Roxy, this is not Tiger Woods.Copy !req
486. What are you talking about?Copy !req
487. This guy's an actor.Copy !req
488. He definitely pretended to be
Donovan McNabb one time when ICopy !req
489. tried out for the Eagles.Copy !req
490. Donovan McNabb? Eagles?Copy !req
491. I don't know what
she's talking about.Copy !req
492. I play golf.Copy !req
493. Okay, Roxy, see, this is exactly why
you gotta stop doing this shit.Copy !req
494. And, sir, seriously?Copy !req
495. Okay, all right, all
right, I'm sorry.Copy !req
496. You got me, all right?Copy !req
497. I'm busted. I am an actor.Copy !req
498. My name is Don Cheadle.Copy !req
499. No, you're not Don...
What are you doing?Copy !req
500. What's going on?Copy !req
501. I don't care who he is if he pays
me 500 bucks to rub my feet.Copy !req
502. Did you say 500 bucks?Copy !req
503. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
504. To rub your feet?Copy !req
505. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
506. You don't have sex with him?Copy !req
507. Mm-mm-mmm.Copy !req
508. I'm into foot shit.Copy !req
509. Interesting...
What shoe size are you, by the way?Copy !req
510. Hey, your feet are bizarrely huge.Copy !req
511. Man will go crazy for that.Copy !req
512. I don't care for how you describe
them, but what are we talking here?Copy !req
513. What kind of money are we talking?Copy !req
514. I don't know maybe we could pop those
boots off and kick it around a bit.Copy !req
515. Well, it never hurts
to talk, does it?Copy !req
516. Just do it.Copy !req
517. He's cute.Copy !req
518. Oh, God.Copy !req
519. Chimichanga, chimichanga, chimichanga,
chimichanga, chimichanga.Copy !req
520. Mac, chimichangas are delicious.Copy !req
521. I told you, dude.Copy !req
522. So good, oh!Copy !req
523. I told you.Copy !req
524. Why would you not want to eat one of
these every single day of your life?Copy !req
525. Oh, my God!Copy !req
526. I mean, they're delicious,
they're full of carbs, which isCopy !req
527. great for a pump.Copy !req
528. And they're cheap as shit.Copy !req
529. Hence the garbage bags
filled with them.Copy !req
530. Exactly. No restrictions.Copy !req
531. No restrictions.Copy !req
532. Oh, I love this no
restrictions thing, man.Copy !req
533. Now in that vein, I want you to
take a look at that chimichanga.Copy !req
534. I want you to say to yourself,
"Chimichanga, you areCopy !req
535. delicious, but what
do I really want?"Copy !req
536. What I really want?Copy !req
537. What do you want more than
anything else in the entire world?Copy !req
538. What do I want more than anything
else in this entire world?Copy !req
539. Yes.Copy !req
540. Crack.Copy !req
541. Oh. I thought you were gonna say
pizza or buffalo wings or something.Copy !req
542. Yeah, no, no, no.Copy !req
543. You want crack?Copy !req
544. Yeah, crack cocaine.Copy !req
545. Now, I've never had crack.Copy !req
546. Dude, you are going to love it.Copy !req
547. I am?Copy !req
548. It's so good.Copy !req
549. Let's do it!Copy !req
550. No restrictions, baby,
no restrictions.Copy !req
551. No restrictions.Copy !req
552. Aw, man, this is gonna
be awesome, dude.Copy !req
553. Do you want some insulin?Copy !req
554. Oh, shit.Copy !req
555. Yo.Copy !req
556. Uh-huh.Copy !req
557. You did what now?Copy !req
558. Oh, she is?Copy !req
559. I don't get it, but
I don't need to.Copy !req
560. Okay, we'll see you there.Copy !req
561. Okay, bye.Copy !req
562. Um, dude, so, apparently,
Charlie just puked blood allCopy !req
563. over some lady in a limousine and Dee is
sucking off Don Cheadle or something?Copy !req
564. And Frank wants to go ahead and get
married to Roxy as soon as possible.Copy !req
565. So we got to fire down there.Copy !req
566. Dude, we can get crack from Roxy.Copy !req
567. Let's get crack from
Roxy, Okay, perfect.Copy !req
568. Now do you want some
of this insulin?Copy !req
569. No, I just want crack.Copy !req
570. Okay, we'll get down there.Copy !req
571. And on the way, let's fire down
to John Wanamaker's and getCopy !req
572. ourselves a couple of
Tommy Bahama shirts.Copy !req
573. Are you familiar?Copy !req
574. Yeah, see what you mean
about these shirts, bro.Copy !req
575. Yeah.
You'll grow into yours, buddy.Copy !req
576. Yeah, comfy as shit.Copy !req
577. They hide your fatness.Copy !req
578. You know, they're ugly as all
hell, but I have a feelingCopy !req
579. I'm gonna like 'em a lot more
when I'm high as shit on crack.Copy !req
580. What's up, basticks?Copy !req
581. Basticks? Is that how you're
gonna talk from now on?Copy !req
582. Look, I'm not taking no shit
no more, so get used to it.Copy !req
583. Also, I'm gonna
become a foot girl.Copy !req
584. All right, gross. Whatever.Copy !req
585. Frank, you ready?Copy !req
586. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
587. I'm ready.Copy !req
588. Okay, Roxy, Frank would
like to say a few words.Copy !req
589. Everybody.Copy !req
590. Gather round.Copy !req
591. Roxy... Frank.Copy !req
592. You are good shit, and I
want to make this legit.Copy !req
593. I'm still gonna pay you, but I want
you to stop banging other guys.Copy !req
594. What do you say?Copy !req
595. Want to be my wife or what?Copy !req
596. Holy shit.Copy !req
597. Oh-oh, my God.Copy !req
598. Oh, my... Uh... ooh... Whoops.Copy !req
599. Christ!Copy !req
600. No, it's okay.Copy !req
601. She does this from time to time.Copy !req
602. She's had an excessive
amount to drink, so yeah.Copy !req
603. Okay. Well, Roxy, get up.Copy !req
604. Roxy... Come on, Roxy.Copy !req
605. Roxy?Copy !req
606. Big day for Frank here.Copy !req
607. Roxy, we don't have
a ton of time, Rox.Copy !req
608. Get up!Copy !req
609. The bitch is dead!Copy !req
610. How could she be dead?Copy !req
611. I'm telling you her heart popped.Copy !req
612. She was smoking crack in the
car the whole way here and alsoCopy !req
613. all day long.Copy !req
614. She got no pulse.Copy !req
615. Oh, my God!Copy !req
616. Holy shit!Copy !req
617. Call 911!Copy !req
618. Call an ambulance.Copy !req
619. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
620. No, no, no. No, no, no!Copy !req
621. No, no, no, I'm sorry.Copy !req
622. Whoa, whoa, what?Copy !req
623. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.Copy !req
624. Uh, we gotta think
this through, okay?Copy !req
625. Dead hooker in my apartment?Copy !req
626. That doesn't look good for me.Copy !req
627. I'm covered in blood.Copy !req
628. I mean, not good to have
a dead hooker, right?Copy !req
629. It would kind of mess up our
second acts a little bit.Copy !req
630. And I'll tell you guys something.Copy !req
631. I smoked a little crack in
the car on the way over.Copy !req
632. Oh, you bitch!Copy !req
633. Oh, does she still have any?Copy !req
634. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
635. > We can't leave her here.Copy !req
636. No, no, we can't leave her here.Copy !req
637. Um, let's, uh... Oh, God.Copy !req
638. Okay, well, I mean... I don't want to
sound insensitive, but we could justCopy !req
639. put her out in the hall.Copy !req
640. We call in an anonymous tip.Copy !req
641. So we're still calling 911...
Someone finds her.Copy !req
642. just from a pay phone.Copy !req
643. This seems like the best thing to
do considering the circumstances.Copy !req
644. Frank, what do you think?Copy !req
645. I think Roxy would have
wanted it that way.Copy !req
646. Well, there you go.Copy !req
647. Frank would know.Copy !req
648. I mean, that's it!Copy !req
649. You would know, Frank.Copy !req
650. Can I say a few words?Copy !req
651. Make it nice.Copy !req
652. Let's make the whole thing nice.Copy !req
653. Really? I just want to
get her out of here.Copy !req
654. Oh, nice.Copy !req
655. Roxy, God bless you.Copy !req
656. You were a good whore.Copy !req
657. You serviced me like no
other whore ever did.Copy !req
658. Not only my crank, but my heart.Copy !req
659. And I'm gonna miss ya.Copy !req
660. Amen.Copy !req
661. So should we get the dead
whore out of the apartment?Copy !req
662. Yeah, yeah, yeah,Copy !req