1. Back with the Preston and Steve Show. Listen up.
We've got to open up the phone lines.
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2. The first listener who can correctly answer
our stupid trivia question of the day...
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3. is gonna get to come down to the
Flyers game with us tomorrow night...
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4. and take a shot from center ice.
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5. [Man #2] If you make it,
you win two V. I. P. passes...
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6. to the 93. 3 WMMR Beach House
for our Start of Summer Blowout!
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7. Who would want to spend a weekend
at a beach house with these idiots?
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8. - Nothing but busy signals.
- I'm on hold on all of 'em. We're gonna get through.
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9. - You're on hold on those?
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10. - Hey, who's on the line?
- Uh, uh, Mac from South Philly!
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11. All right, Mac from South Philly,
you're on with Preston and Steve!
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12. - Holy shit! He got on!
- Holy shit! I got on!
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13. [Man #1] Please don't curse.
All right, here's the question.
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14. What Philadelphia Flyer holds the
franchise record for goals in a season?
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15. You have 30 seconds. Go!
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16. - It's a hockey question!
- Go, go! Hockey, hockey!
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17. Where's the "H" key?
There's no "H" key!
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18. - What are you talking about?
- Is there another way to spell "hockey"?
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19. - There's no "H" key!
- There's an "H'right there!
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20. Why did I put you in charge of this job?
Forget this. I got this.
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21. Think, Mac.
Think. Think. Think.
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22. - I gotta think like that guy that sits on the rock.
- This dude? The one like that?
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23. - Yeah, with the big muscles. He puts his hand on his...
- He's big, green and gets angry?
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24. - The Thinker?
- The Thinker.
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25. Oh, the Hulk!
The Incredible Hulk!
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26. Hulk doesn't think at all!
Shit, I know this.
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27. [Man #1]
Dude, you gotta stop cursing.
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28. You guys can't censor me.
I'm a bit of a badass.
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29. [Man #2] All right, let's go!
Answer the question! Come on!
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30. I don't know. I don't know it.
Damn it! Reggie Leach.
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31. [Man #1]
Reggie Leach is the...
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32. - correct answer!
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33. - Wow!
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34. Center ice shot, baby!
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35. This is a potentially
life-changing opportunity.
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36. Not potentially. It is
a life-changing opportunity. It is!
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37. Sorry. How is spending a weekend at a radio
show beach house a life-changing opportunity?
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38. Dude, there is gonna be so many athletes
and celebrities at that beach house.
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39. This is my chance to finally sow
myself into the inner circle.
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40. I'm gonna be like
a local sports legend.
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41. - Hey, can we have our phones back?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
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42. Why don't you get on 'em about using
the minutes on the cell phones?
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43. They used up
all your minutes. Right?
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44. Frank, nobody gives a shit
about minutes anymore.
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45. Actually, you know what?
I do give a shit about minutes.
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46. I know I shouldn't and I'm just probably
buying into the phone company's propaganda.
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47. - But there you go.
- Interesting.
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48. - What is happening here? Why are you taping them?
- Because they got great banter.
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49. They jib-jab.
Jib-jab, jib-jab, jib-jab.
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50. I use it for the car
because my stereo's busted.
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51. We have a lot of interesting
things to say, so...
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52. Oh, shit, I feel like the conversation
we've been having the last five minutes...
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53. is a lot more interesting than the shit
they're talking about on the radio.
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54. You kidding? Moronic commentary, stupid sound effects.
It's dumb. It doesn't make any sense.
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55. We have voices.
We talk about the issues.
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56. I feel like we could do a podcast
and it would be a million times better...
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57. - than whatever that drivel was we were listening to.
- Without a doubt.
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58. - You know what? This sounds like jealousy talk.
- Yeah.
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59. "Mac, Charlie, congratulations on your
slap shot and the beach house. Okay?
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60. Uh, we're happy for you."
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61. - You're sad sometimes. You're dark souls.
- Why aren't you happy for us?
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62. - You wanna just do our thing and let...
- Let's do our thing.
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63. Have fun with your important conversations
and your big issues...
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64. with your brains
and your smart stuff, okay?
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65. - We got hockey to learn!
- And we're gonna...
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66. - And it's gonna change our lives.
- Life-changing!
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67. - Okay. It was The Thinker. It's The Thinker.
- You couldn't spell hockey.
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68. Oh! Zing! Boom-boom!
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69. Hold on a second.
You guys are the best.
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70. Do not speak
until I turn my tape over.
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71. Okay.
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72. Oh, shit!
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73. I taped over
my Luther Vandross mix!
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74. Ahh!
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75. Okay, dude,
now we're both in agreement.
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76. This is probably the biggest opportunity either
of us have ever had in our lives, right?
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77. We are not men who get
a lot of opportunities, Charlie.
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78. - The few we've had, we've squandered.
- We've squandered 'em all.
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79. That's why we gotta stay focused, Mac.
I mean, this is pro sports!
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80. - We gotta do this right. You gotta look good.
- Yeah.
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81. And you can't
miss that shot, right?
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82. - I really appreciate you helping me, dude.
- Absolutely.
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83. - A little pee-wee hockey experience never hurts.
- You're good.
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84. Okay, so first things first.
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85. - Hold the hockey stick.
- Hold the hockey stick.
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86. - Mm-hmm. - Okay, good. 'Cause I was thinking
I'd have a position sort of like this.
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87. - Why would you do that?
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88. All of my instincts and my training
tell me to use this as a weapon.
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89. All of your instincts
and your training are wrong.
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90. Hold it like a hockey stick
or people are going to boo you.
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91. - The Philly fans are brutal, dude.
- All right, fine!
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92. All right? Right. Then you just
sort of haunch down a little bit.
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93. - Okay? Can you...
- Done.
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94. You might wanna hau...
You look stiff like a...
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95. You look like a G.I. Joe action figure.
Loosen up. And haunch.
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96. - What if I do this?
- That's way stiffer!
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97. - That's pretty good right there, Charlie.
- You look so awkward.
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98. Bro, when you tack on mass you sacrifice flexibility.
That's just a straight-up fact!
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99. That's insane!
Touch your toes!
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100. - What am I, a gymnast?
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101. - Teach me how to shoot the shot!
- All right, fine, fine. Calm down. All right.
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102. What you're gonna want to do is just gently...
gently sort of guide the puck at the net...
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103. like, you know, like a tiny bowl of cream
you don't want to spill...
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104. and you're guiding it.
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105. I'm not gonna do that.
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106. I'm gonna go out there and take
a wicked slap shot. You know?
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107. Really make a name for myself. Otherwise
I go out there, I look like a jabroni.
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108. You know what? Yeah. We might wanna
work on some kind of routine, huh?
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109. Thank you. Exactly. So I'll go out there,
I showcase my weaponry...
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110. Uh-huh.
Pump the crowd up.
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111. - Really get the crowd up and raise the roof. Huh?
- Okay.
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112. But you can't take a slap shot before you
even know how to handle a stick and a puck.
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113. So will you just glide one?
Just to get the form.
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114. And then we'll get bigger and bigger
and eventually slap shots.
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115. But it starts with
gliding like cream. Go!
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116. - Gliding like a jabroni is what I'm gonna be doing.
- Jabroni. Okay, go.
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117. - Well, that didn't do anything.
- That was pretty pathetic. You're right.
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118. The problem is, I'm out in the elements, dude.
There's so much wind and sun.
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119. - And this asphalt... That's not regulation.
- No, it's not regulation...
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120. - So it's not gonna slide.
- All right, you know what? You wanna do this the right way?
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121. - Yeah.
- Let's go to the ice.
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122. Let's get some pucks.
All right?
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123. We'll slide, we'll take a few slap shots.
We'll do this the right way.
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124. - Let's go to the ice.
- Let's go to the ice.
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125. All right, very exciting stuff.
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126. We're pretty much
ready to go with this podcast.
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127. What the hell is a podcast? Why don't
you just tape it? What are you doing?
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128. You don't have to tape it these days, Frank.
You just record it right onto the computer.
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129. And once we start recording, Frank, I'm gonna
need you to stop eating those crackers.
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130. It's incredibly annoying, and it's
all anyone's gonna be able to hear.
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131. So, Dennis and Dee Reynolds here.
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132. Inaugural podcast.
We're talking technology today. The big "T."
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133. Absolutely. Everyone's talking about
technology these days because it's everywhere.
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134. - Oh, it is... You can't escape it.
- You absolutely can't.
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135. So, Dee, tell us what you feel about technology.
What's your opinion on it?
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136. - My opinion?
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137. Dead air!
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138. - Could you ease up on the crackers?
- I'm gettin' bored with this!
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139. - I'm gonna bring my guest in.
- Guest?
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140. - I asked Cricket to come. Cricket. He's outside.
- Cricket? No!
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141. You can't bring guests in here! This is our podcast!
I feel like you're trying to take over!
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142. No, you know what? Actually this
could bring up a pretty good issue.
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143. If you bring Cricket in here we could
rail on him about the homeless issue.
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144. - Cricket!
- Cricks.
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145. - Yo.
- Come on in, buddy. We're ready for ya.
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146. Hey, Frank, where's my chicken?
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147. This is taking forever.
Come on.
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148. - I promised him a rotisserie chicken.
- Let's go. Chop-chop.
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149. - I'm starving here.
- What's going on with your voice?
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150. It's from when Frank hit me
with the trash can.
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151. - Wound got infected. It was a whole ordeal.
- Ugh!
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152. Okay, all right, well, uh, listen,
let's get into the issues here.
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153. We're gonna start rolling
on this, Cricket.
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154. Oh, no, no, no, no. I am not saying
another word until I get the chicken.
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155. - I lied about the chicken, Crick.
- Are you kidding me?
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156. - It was bullshit.
- Oh, my God. Unbelievable. Why do I even trust you?
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157. All right, wait a minute.
Here. I do have something for you.
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158. - Lemons.
- Lemons?
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159. - Yeah. You suck on 'em.
- Oh, come on. At least give me the crackers.
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160. - No, suck on a lemon. Here. Go ahead.
- Well, they are good for scurvy.
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161. - I'll have a few lemons. But then I'm out of here.
- All right, here we go.
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162. So, uh, Dennis
and Dee Reynolds here.
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163. We are talking about
the homeless issue here in Philly.
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164. That's a big issue these days,
and we're here with our friend Cricket.
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165. He is a homeless man.
Cricket, walk us through a day in your life.
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166. Oh, a day in the life.
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167. Well, uh, the other morning...
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168. I wake up, I find a dog
sniffin' at my wound.
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169. - Mmm.
- He's fully aroused, mind you.
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170. So I'm thinking, "Oh, great.
What does this jerk want?"
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171. Course I know what he wants.
He's lookin' at me right in the eyes.
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172. He does not have to say it.
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173. Not that he could.
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174. Oh, that is... that is tart!
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175. That is really tart.
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176. I mean, does my scar...
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177. look like a dog's vagina?
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178. You know? Maybe. I don't know. I'm not gonna sit
here and try to get inside the mind of a dog.
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179. I mean, that's God's work.
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180. Well, not that I believe in God. I don't.
Not since that Chinaman stole my kidney.
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181. - Cricket, tell Dee how much you think she's ugly.
- That's not gonna make sense.
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182. He doesn't think I'm ugly.
He's madly in love with me.
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183. - Don't flatter yourself. I'm over you, sister.
- Since when?
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184. Since I found out
you are a whore.
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185. - Will you stop talking about this!
This has nothing to do... - Ohh!
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186. Well, maybe you're a whore,
you stupid, ugly, homeless bitch!
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187. - Zing!
- A dog banged your neck the other day!
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188. - You're both whores!
- This is great radio!
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189. - At least someone's banging my vagina!
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190. Get into it!
Get into it!
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191. This is not good radio!
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192. - All right.
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193. Okay, this is exciting, Mac!
This is exciting!
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194. - You know? You're... What are you doing?
- Huh?
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195. - Will you take this seriously?
- I am taking it seriously.
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196. This is your big moment, man.
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197. You gotta walk out to center ice and you
gotta be like, "Hey! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!"
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198. - U.S.A.!
- Not like that. Make it classy.
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199. Okay, but keep in mind
I am gonna be wearing the duster.
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200. Of course you're gonna wear the duster.
That's gonna look awesome.
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201. - Thanks.
- Yeah. You should probably also be wearing a wig.
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202. - A wig?
- Totally. Long, flowing hair.
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203. That's gonna look way more dramatic.
You know what I mean?
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204. Okay, I like the wig idea in spirit.
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205. The problem is, I'll have to wear the wig to
the beach house so people will recognize me.
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206. Next thing you know, I'm wearing a wig for the
rest of my life just to keep up appearances.
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207. Yeah, like Andre Agassi, huh?
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208. Yeah. Right.
I don't wanna do that.
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209. I don't know.
Let's not rule it out.
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210. A good hockey wig could
put this thing over the top, man.
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211. - Okay, fine. Let's do this! Come on, dude!
- Let's do this thing!
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212. - We'll take some shots.
- What else are we here for, dude? Let's do some shots!
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213. - All right, you ready?
- Let's see what you got.
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214. Haunch.
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215. - What was that?
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216. All right, well, that would have been cool
if I was standing backwards.
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217. You're not gonna stand backward.
You're gonna stand forward. You're gonna...
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218. What the hell are you two
doing out here?
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219. - Don't worry about it, bro.
- We're prac...
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220. You can't be out here
swinging hockey sticks.
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221. You're not even supposed to
be out here without skates. Now get out!
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222. - All right...
- Out!
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223. Okay! We're leavin'.
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224. You know what, Charlie?
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225. I think he's right, dude.
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226. Only a couple of jabronis
come out here without skates on.
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227. I gotta do this thing in skates. You know,
work up a routine, really jazz the crowd.
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228. - Can I stop you though?
- Yeah.
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229. You keep using this word "jabroni."
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230. - And... it's awesome!
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231. - It's like the coolest word I... Is that a hockey thing?
- Yeah... N... I don't know.
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232. - I think it's some dago word, but it
sounds like a hockey word. - It does...
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233. You're gonna want to brush up
on your hockey words.
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234. At the beach house you're gonna be
hanging out with the Flyers.
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235. Okay, we are back.
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236. Dennis and Dee Reynolds here.
We're back to the podcast.
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237. - We got a little derailed earlier.
- We did.
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238. We did. But that's okay.
We're gonna get back on track here.
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239. - I got a hot topic that I wanna talk about, Dee.
- Tell me what it is.
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240. This is something I'm pretty charged up
about. It's stem cell research.
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241. - Good one. Excellent one.
- It's a very divisive issue these days.
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242. - People are really going to town, one side against the other.
- Oh, absolutely.
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243. - Some people are for it, some people are
against it... -
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244. - What is that? What are you doing?
- That was a duck.
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245. - Why would you make a duck noise right in
the middle of my thing? - It was funny.
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246. - Yeah, but you derailed us.
- I thought I'd up the production value, add some sound effects.
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247. - Well, don't.
- Okay, well...
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248. - So, stem cell research... Stop.
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249. - Stem cell research is a very... Why are you still pu...
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250. - Stop pushing sound effects. I want to talk about ser...
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251. - Which one is that one?
- This one.
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252. - That's a laser beam.
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253. Yeah.
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254. - I like that one. I wanna pepper that one in.
- Okay.
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255. - Don't do it while I'm talking.
- All right, well, we'll see.
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256. - Hello.
- Hey! Frank!
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257. - That's Frank Reynolds, everybody!
- I have a great topic for you.
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258. - War.
- War!
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259. - War? Good one!
- Yeah.
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260. Yeah! Everyone's
talking about the war.
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261. And I have the perfect guest.
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262. - Huh.
- Okay. All right.
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263. - Ben the soldier.
- Hey, Dee. Good to see you.
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264. What are you doing? No. No, no, no.
I'm not comfortable with this.
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265. Okay, Ben is a soldier.
He's in the war... probably.
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266. Not now, obviously, unless the war is
happening here. Is the war happening here?
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267. I don't know!
Let's get into all this stuff.
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268. Ben the soldier is here with us, folks,
and I want to talk to him...
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269. because, Ben, it's my understanding...
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270. that there is a war
going on right now.
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271. Am I...
Am I right in this?
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272. Well, actually
there are two wars right now.
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273. - Two war...
- You don't say.
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274. - We're in the midst of two wars?
- Huh!
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275. Now, the United States of America
is engaged in both of these wars?
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276. Yes.
Yes, they are.
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277. And, uh, are either of these wars
happening on U.S., uh, soil?
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278. Excuse me.
Let me... Let me...
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279. - What is your job in the war?
- Let me just...
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280. - Are you a carrier of... of, uh, large weaponry?
- Let me just interr...
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281. How 'bout if we talk about
how you used to bang each other?
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282. - Yeah...
- No...
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283. What kind of technique did you use?
Tie-ups and stuff like that.
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284. - Frank, it's not good radio.
- 'Cause people like sex.
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285. Okay, well, I just want to clarify.
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286. What my producer, Frank, is referring to
is the fact that Ben, our soldier here...
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287. - and Dee used to be lovers.
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288. - Hey! That's a good one!
- Don't do that to me.
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289. - That's not funny.
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290. - You're in the hot seat, girl.
- I'm not in the hot seat! Ben's in the hot seat!
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291. All right, Mac, so you're gonna come
on the ice and fire out to center. Right?
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292. Do, like, a cool turn,
get the crowd going!
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293. - Okay. So, fire out...
- C... Come on!
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294. - Huh?
- What are you d...
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295. - Huh?
- That's not cool! Wait.
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296. Do you not know
how to ice skate?
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297. No, not at all. But I figured you would
teach me, 'cause we got plenty of time.
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298. We don't have time!
It's tomorrow night, man!
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299. Charlie, you gotta help me, dude.
This is my big break. Come on!
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300. Oh, my God!
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301. All right, we got
a lot of work to do.
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302. All right, here.
Grab the stick.
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303. - Ready?
- Uh-huh.
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304. And we'll start slow.
Oh, my...
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305. - This is gonna take forever, man.
- That's good.
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306. That's good. That's good.
I'm skating.
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307. - ♪ Push it to the limit♪
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308. Send it on in!
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309. - Whoo-hoo!
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310. Okay, next guest!
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311. All right, Dennis,
let's get this over with.
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312. Don't bring her in here
stinkin' up the joint. Come on.
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313. - Frank said you were gonna apologize to me.
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314. Oh!
Who's in the hot seat now?
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315. - Let's not push too many of those.
You're abusing it. -
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316. - It's gonna get not funny after a little while.
- No, no, that's good.
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317. - So let me understand this, waitress.
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318. Uh, Frank promised you an apology from me.
You didn't believe him, did you?
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319. - Come on.
- Yeah.
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320. Really? Well, that makes you
incredibly gullible and stupid.
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321. Oh! Oh, oh!
Don't take that from him.
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322. - Are you gonna take that from him?
Stand up for yourself! -
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323. I'm not leaving here
until you apologize to me.
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324. - Yeah? Well, you're gonna be here for a while.
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325. She's boring me.
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326. I'll give you 50 bucks
if you take off your top...
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327. and you drink soup
out of my shoe.
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328. - What?
- Okay, now that I'd like to see.
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329. Yeah, yeah, me too. What do you say,
sister? You need some extra cash?
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330. - No.
- 500 bucks.
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331. Cricket, bring her some soup.
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332. You're gonna pay me $500
to drink soup out of a shoe.
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333. And take your top off.
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334. - Fine.
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335. - Oh!
- I'll do it.
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336. - Nice!
- But I am not taking my top off.
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337. - Well, that's a relief to all of us.
- Ooh!
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338. - Zing!
- Zinged her!
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339. - Gotcha!
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340. Couldn't find soup,
but I found some dirty dishwater.
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341. - Boom! Even better!
- I am not drinking dishwater.
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342. - Oh, come on.
- Dump it on her head.
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343. - What?
- Yes!
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344. - Whoa!
- Oh, my God!
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345. - Hold it... Ugh!
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346. Oh, now this is good radio!
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347. Holy shit, dude. There's a lot of people here.
I'm getting nervous, Charlie.
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348. Yeah, you might throw up when you get
out there, you know, from the nerves.
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349. You're supposed to be my coach, dude.
Don't tell me I'm gonna throw up!
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350. - I know, but people do that, so try not to throw up.
- Oh, come on, dude.
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351. - Mac! Charlie! What's up, man?
- You guys came to support me!
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352. - Uh, yeah! Yeah!
- Oh... Yeah, that was...
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353. - Yeah, yeah, that's why we're here.
- Primarily, yeah.
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354. But also, since we're here...
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355. we wanted to give you this tape
so you could give it to those radio guys.
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356. That's our demo tape. We were recording
the whole thing on a computer.
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357. But then the computer got water
dumped all over it. It was a whole thing.
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358. - "Luther Vandross"?
- Is that still on there?
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359. - Oh, that's very off-putting, Dennis.
- We should have relabeled it.
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360. - It's not Luther Vandross.
- Make sure you tell 'em it's not Luther Vandross.
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361. Let's get going!
Mac from South Philly, get out here!
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362. - This is you!
- Oh! Here we go. Here we go.
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363. Everybody say a prayer.
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364. Let's do this.
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365. Give 'em the tape.
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366. - What is that?
- The future of radio, you jabronis.
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367. "Jabronis."
Cool word.
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368. Score!
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369. [Man #2]
He did it!
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370. [Man #1] Mac from South Philly
has cemented himself...
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371. as a Philly sports legend!
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372. [Man #2]
Let's hear it for Mac!
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373. Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac!
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374. Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac!
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375. Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac!
Mac! Mac! Mac!
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376. Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac!
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377. - Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac!
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378. Wake up! Mac!
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379. Mac! Mac! Wake up!
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380. - Mac, wake up!
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381. What happened?
Did I do good, Charlie?
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382. No. You fell on your face
almost immediately, man.
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383. - Who took the shot?
- I took the shot.
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384. Yeah, I missed wide right by, like, a mile.
It was terrible.
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385. - Look on the bright side, dude.
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386. I think you're gonna be
a sports celebrity after all...
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387. 'cause they're definitely
gonna play that shit on ESPN.
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388. English - US - SDH
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