1. Dee.
Dee. Dee. Dee.
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2. - Sweet Dee. Sweet Dee. Sweet Dee.
- Sweet Dee. Hey!
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3. Sweet Dee. Sweet Dee. Sweet Dee.
Sweet Dee. Sweet Dee.
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4. What?
Hey.
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5. Hey... Oh...
What the hell is this?
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6. Oh, yeah.
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7. - Uh... oh.
- And so it begins.
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8. - Mmm.
- What are you talking about? I got a cat. So what?
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9. Congratulations, Dee. You've begun your
transformation into crazy cat lady.
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10. I didn't begin a transformation.
I just... I just got a cat...
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11. 'cause I wanted
something to hang outwith.
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12. I don't have, you know,
a roommate or anything,
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13. and I don't really have
anyone to talk to, so I...
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14. If you listen to yourself, you would realize
you're only strengthening our argument.
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15. What do you want?
We need a big bowl for popcorn.
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16. - Yeah!
- Mac and Dennis movie night!
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17. Whoosh!
Tuesday night's movie night!
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18. We're doing Predator again.
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19. You guys don't have a bowl?
Um...
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20. We don't have a big one, no. Not a big
enough one for what we need, Dee.
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21. All right!
Be careful! Come on!
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22. These cups suck.
You serious?
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23. Yeah. Oh!
Bingo.
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24. Yeah, you found it.
Nice.
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25. Why did you guys have to both
come over here to get one bowl?
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26. It's more fun if we both come.
I was gonna hold the bowl.
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27. Dennis was gonna stand next to me and
make snide comments. Yeah. That's right.
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28. Oh, you look like a bird.
That's one. Uh... Old.
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29. Pick a new one. You got a new one?
It's an oldie but goodie.
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30. - He comes up with good ones.
- Yeah, no. That was a good one.
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31. I don't understand why you can't make snide
remarks and hold a bowl at the same time though.
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32. It doesn't make sense. You're fixating
too much on the bowl aspect of it.
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33. Put it this way. If the two
of us didn't come together,
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34. what if one of us were
to get into a jam? Mmm.
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35. Be silly not to have
the other one there.
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36. Silly? Dennis, that sounds
downright dangerous. Yeah.
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37. See, you'll never get out of a jam because
you got no friends. Well, you're a spinster.
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38. Mm... hmm.
A lonely spinster.
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39. With a cat.
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40. Those are all funny.
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41. It's funny 'cause I feel like you
guys are two codependent losers...
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42. who are so wrapped up
in each other...
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43. that it's hard for you to see
how pathetic your lives are.
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44. It's like you're
an old married couple.
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45. No, Dee.
We're more like a dynamic duo.
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46. So you don't think that
two 30-year-old men...
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47. who spend every waking moment
together is a little bit pathetic?
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48. Well, we don't spend every
waking moment together.
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49. - What are you, crazy?
- You're right. I'm sorry.
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50. When was the last time you went more
than an hour without seeing each other?
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51. All the time.
Every day.
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52. - Okay. Without checking in?
- Ch... Checking. That's...
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53. Uh... huh.
He always checks in with me.
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54. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He likes to have
me check in, but it's not like...
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55. Okay.
Enjoy that movie, boners.
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56. She doesn't know anything
about friendship, dude.
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57. No. How could she?
She doesn't have any friends.
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58. “Old married couple.”
That's what she called...
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59. - Hey... oh.
- Yo, where you been?
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60. What do you mean?
I was getting the movie.
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61. Yeah, but you weren't answering
any of my calls.
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62. I've been calling you...
sort of over and over again.
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63. I was having a conversation
with the video store clerk.
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64. Yeah, but I texted you 911, dude.
That means it's an emergency.
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65. Yeah, I saw that.
Yeah.
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66. Uh, what was the emergency, Mac? Well, I
couldn't get in touch with you, dude.
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67. I almost called the police.
The police?
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68. I mean, that's
a bit of an overreaction.
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69. I was gone for what, an hour? Yeah,
but I thought we had a deal.
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70. You know, you would check in
every once in a while,
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71. and then that way I would know
that you were okay.
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72. Okay. I... I'm okay.
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73. Uh, I'm sorry.
Can we watch the movie?
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74. Yeah. Great. Sure.
Yeah.
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75. The Transporter 2?
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76. Yeah, I...
Look, man. I... I... I...
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77. I know you wanted
to see Predator again,
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78. but I feel like we've seen that 30
times in the last two months...
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79. and thought maybe
we could mix things up.
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80. Video store clerk guy said
this movie's awesome, so...
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81. The video store... clerk guy.
I feel like you won't...
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82. stop talking about him.
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83. Huh. I asked him for a movie
recommendation, okay?
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84. Yeah. And you got one. It's
really not that big of a deal.
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85. Well, the big deal, Dennis, is that I wasn't
even consulted on the decision. Okay?
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86. And this is a big deal to me as well.
It's also my night.
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87. P I us, Transporter 2?
We haven't seen Transporter 7,
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88. which means
we'll be completely lost.
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89. I doubt it.
Plus Jason Statham's physique...
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90. is nothing like the lineup
in Predator.
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91. Okay, stop. I don't want
to have conversations anymore...
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92. about dudes' physiques,
and whether they can...
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93. Dennis, in body mass alone...
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94. That's what I was trying to avoid...
a conversation about body mass, okay?
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95. We've had that conversation
five times a day for the last month...
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96. because we keep watching Predator,
and all you talk about is Weathers...
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97. and... and... and Jesse “the Body” Ventura
and how many pounds they can pack on.
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98. It's important to pack on mass.
You're talking about carbo-loading.
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99. I don't want to have this
conversation with you anymore.
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100. No. You'd rather have conversations
with video store clerks.
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101. You know what, man? If you don't want to
watch the movie with me, that's fine.
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102. I will watch it by myself.
Goddamn it!
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103. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where is this coming from?
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104. I have been thinking a lot about
what Dee said, and I do think...
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105. maybe we are spending a
little bit too much time together.
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106. Wh... What are you saying?
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107. I'm saying that I feel like we're
in a little bit of a rut, and...
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108. I feel like I'm not...
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109. flourishing.
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110. Well,
far be it from me to, uh,
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111. keep the flower of you
from flourishing, but, uh,
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112. I guess I'll grab my shit and
stay at Charlie's. Wait.
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113. Don't do that.
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114. I... feel like I'm the
one that got us into this mess.
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115. Okay. So you'll stay
at Charlie's then. No.
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116. You should stay there...
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117. because you already said
that you would.
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118. Also, I have more stuff.
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119. It'll take me longer to
pack, and it'll be easier.
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120. Hi. I'm responding to a
missing persons report.
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121. I'll pack my things.
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122. Hey!
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123. Hey... oh!
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124. What's the matter with you?
What are you doing here?
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125. - I came to hang outwith you.
- I thought it was movie night.
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126. Yeah, it is movie night. But, uh, Mac and
I are taking a little bit of a break.
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127. I was thinking about
what you were saying.
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128. You were right. I wasn't
spending enough time by myself.
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129. I wasn't being an independent individual.
I wasn't flourishing.
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130. So let's watch the movie
together, you and me.
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131. I'm kind of in the middle
of something with my cat right now.
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132. Oh. Okay. Well, yeah. I like cats.
Let's bring him into the mix.
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133. Uh, can't do that.
He is... in the wall somewhere.
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134. - He's in the wall?
- Yeah. I think he got into the wall.
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135. Wow. Well, that's a bummer.
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136. But I'm sure he'll come out
at some point.
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137. Got himself in there.
I'm sure he'll get himself out.
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138. Or he won't, and he'll die in there, and
you'll have a dead cat smell for a while.
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139. But listen, I'm gonna help you
out of that jam.
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140. Open the windows and get some
scented candles going,
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141. maybe get a big fan in here...
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142. and then he'll decompose
and everything will be fine.
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143. Boom! That's what it's like to have a
sidekick. Helped you out of a jam.
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144. In the meantime, let's watch the movie.
I want to... I want to...
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145. Just want to
watch a movie... with you.
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146. Could we do that?
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147. Why don't you just put your
trash into a trash can?
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148. I put it in the trash can when I'm
ready to take it outside, dude.
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149. Yeah, but you could skip a step
by first putting it into the can.
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150. And you can
shut the hell up, man.
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151. Okay. And Jesus Christ, Frank. Are you
cutting your toenails with a steak knife?
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152. I suppose you have a problem
with that too?
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153. Ah! Oh! Oh! Botched toe!
I botched that one.
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154. Oh, that's a botch job.
That's bleeding.
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155. I need some trash
to plug up the cut.
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156. Do not plug an open wound
with trash.
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157. - Well, it's bleeding like a sieve.
- Then use your sock, bro.
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158. Don't waste a good sock on
a tiny little cut. Sock.
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159. I'll find you a candy wrapper
if you give me a second. Oh.
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160. Oh. Oh, wait a minute.
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161. That's... That's working. Oh,
it's acting like a cut glove.
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162. Ah! Unbelievable, dude.
Waste of a sock.
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163. There are so many things that are gonna
need to change now that I'm living here.
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164. Are you hearing this shit, bro?
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165. Well, you know, he's got
some good ideas. What?
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166. - Maybe it wouldn't be bad if he moved in.
- Are you serious, dude?
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167. I could use a little structure
in my life here. No, man.
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168. Look at all the trash all over the place.
Oh, I love the trash.
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169. He's cleaning up the trash.
Mmm...
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170. I don't want struc...
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171. Uh... Eh...
Is that Dennis?
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172. I don't know who it is.
I haven't answered the phone.
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173. Are you gonna answer it though,
because... Okay. Unbelievable, dude.
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174. - I'm just gonna get it. Hello?
- Hey, buddy. How you doing?
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175. Oh, Mac is being annoying as shit.
That him?
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176. Oh, Mac's being annoying?
That's a big surprise.
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177. He bossing you around a whole bunch?
Totally bossing me around.
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178. Yeah. Typical. It's what he does.
It's what he does.
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179. - Did he mention me?
- No.
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180. No? Really? He didn't say
anything at all about me or...
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181. What is this, dude? Did you
call me just to talk about Mac?
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182. Okay, 'cause I don't want to talk about
Mac with you. Is he talking about me?
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183. - No, no, no, no. Tell him I'm not talking about him at all.
- I'm not telling him shit, dude.
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184. I'm gonna hang up the phone on you.
No, no, Charlie.
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185. Don't hang up the phone. I didn't call
to talk about Mac. I swear to God, dude.
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186. Please. Come on. I could care less
about that guy. Are you kidding me?
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187. Called to talk to you. Wanted to see if you
wanted to come over to Dee's apartment.
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188. - We're doing a movie night.
- Charlie, hang up the phone.
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189. Oh, my God, dude. I'll be right over.
Hang up the phone.
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190. Yes! Yeah! Yes!
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191. Yes. Yeah.
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192. Hey, Dee.
Charlie's coming over.
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193. I don't care.
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194. Ah, shit.
I don't care either.
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195. I am so excited to watch
this movie without Mac.
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196. He is so annoying. He's always constantly
critiquing the fight scenes...
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197. and talking about how he could
choreograph the fight scenes...
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198. so much better than they could,
which is ridiculous.
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199. - He doesn't know shit.
- Ooh! Dennis, I pinpointed him.
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200. Dee, will you forget the
goddamn cat for a second...
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201. and listen to all the interesting
things I have to say?
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202. You're being the worst
sidekick right now.
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203. No, you're being the worst sidekick.
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204. I thought sidekicks were supposed
to help each other out of jams.
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205. What? I did
help you out of the jam.
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206. I told you what to do with
your dead, stinking cat.
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207. No, no, no, no, no.
Come on.
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208. Oh! I lost him. I lost him, Dennis.
Thanks a lot.
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209. Oh, do me a favor.
Peel this apple for me, please?
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210. No! No, I'm not
gonna peel an apple for you.
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211. But Mac always does it for me.
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212. Why does Mac
peel your apples for you?
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213. He doesn't like for me to eat
the apples with the skin on it.
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214. He says the skin's
loaded with toxins.
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215. Okay. Well, good news.
Mac's not here.
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216. I know he's not here, and that's
why I need you to do it for me.
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217. - Please? Please?
- Oh, Jesus. Just eat it with the skin on it.
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218. I do not like it with the skin, Dee! I'm
not allowed to eat it with the skin!
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219. - I'm not allowed!
- Oh, my God!
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220. All right.
If you just shut up,
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221. I will peel the apple for you the
way that Mac likes you to eat it.
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222. Give it to me.
Give it to me!
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223. I'll do it the way
that Mac insists. Okay?
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224. Yeah.
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225. Hey... oh! Is that Charlie?
Charlie's in the house!
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226. Charlie's in the house!
Hey! Hey!
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227. Hey, you want a skinless
apple, bud? Yup.
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228. Two skinless apples, Dee. Let's fire
the movie up. it's movie night.
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229. - Here's your apple, dick.
- All right. Yeah.
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230. Where's mine?
Are you kidding me?
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231. Mmm. You can peel your
own apple, Charlie.
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232. Mmm. She's in a little bit of a mood
because her cat got stuck in the wall.
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233. Cat in the wall, eh? Okay.
Now you're talking my language.
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234. I know this game. All right.
Catch me up to speed here.
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235. What do we got? You're putting
Cheeto fingers all over the wall.
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236. All right. Let's focus, Dee.
What's the point of entry here?
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237. That's the thing, Charlie. I've been looking all
around this goddamn place. I can't find one.
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238. All right. I've seen this before.
You know what happened?
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239. I bet it flattened itself out, went
right through a seam in your wall.
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240. I don't think there's anything in the
laws of nature that would support that.
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241. Cats do not abide by the laws
of nature, all right? Hey.
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242. You don't know shit about ca...
We're still gonna watch the movie, right?
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243. Uh... Uh, yeah.
Yeah?
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244. I think it's stuck in there.
No! It is not stuck.
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245. All right. Let's focus on what's
happening with the cat, all right?
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246. It made a conscious decision
to go in your wall. Correct?
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247. Really?
Absolutely. Absolutely.
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248. It chose to be in there. It
wants to be in your wall, Dee.
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249. Thinking about getting some catnip, and
I was gonna put it... No, no, no, no.
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250. Don't do that. Don't do that. It's
gonna know that's a trap, Dee. Okay?
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251. That's gonna irritate the cat, then
it's gonna dig itself down further.
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252. We may never get to it.
Okay? You serious?
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253. Let's start thinking
like a cat here. All right?
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254. You know, we...
we need another cat.
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255. Yes? That's what we need.
Here's what we're gonna do.
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256. I'm gonna crack a little hole in
your wall... Tiny one. It'll be cool.
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257. And then I'm gonna slip a second cat
in with a string tied around it.
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258. Those two will become codependent,
then I'll rip the second cat out,
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259. and the first one hopefully... hopefully
will follow. Hey, hey. Hey, man.
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260. Hey. I'm sorry. I don't mean to keep bugging
you, but you didn't tell me what to do.
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261. I don't care. Do you want me to
start it now or wait? I'll wait.
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262. Yeah. Start it. But I want to
watch it with you. I will wait.
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263. Just start the movie, man, 'cause
I'm having a conversation here!
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264. All day.
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265. All right. Where are we gonna get this
other cat? I can get you another cat.
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266. I got followed here
by, like, 10 cats.
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267. Yeah, they're starting to
follow me these days. Uh... I...
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268. You know, I don't want you
to miss the setup.
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269. I got everything. All the groceries,
no cat food.
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270. And I bumped into
that guy at the video store.
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271. - Beefcake?
- Total jerk-off.
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272. Nice.
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273. - Hey! This place is tits!
- Yeah, right? Looks good.
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274. Huh? You did a great job.
Thank you.
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275. Whoa! Frank! No, no! Oh, God, dude!
What?
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276. The skin of those things
is riddled with toxins!
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277. Yeah, get it out though.
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278. Get it all out. Yuck!
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279. Whoo! That was a close call.
Good save.
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280. Hey, all right.
Well, don't touch me with it.
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281. Hey, also...
I cleaned out this closet.
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282. I'm telling you, bro, we could
fit a mattress in there.
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283. You and Charlie don't have to
sleep next to each other anymore.
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284. Well, I... I kind of liked the other
arrangement though. That was pretty good.
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285. Yeah. The other
arrangement was... was not' pretty good.
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286. It was, um...
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287. It was, uh... What... What's
the word I'm looking for?
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288. - Crazy.
- No, it's not... not crazy. It's like...
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289. - Wackadoo.
- No. Just... stop.
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290. Whoa! Wh... What...
What are you doing now, dude?
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291. What? I'm taking
the toxic skin off.
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292. Yeah, but you're cutting it
with your toe knife.
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293. - Who gives a shit?
- Frank, that is disgusting.
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294. What... What are you talking about?
I'm throwing it out.
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295. - Wait. You're throwing my toe knife out?
- The toe knife is gone.
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296. - Why would you do that?
- Because you were cutting your fruit with it!
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297. What the hell's going on here?
Look, Mac. I mean, look. I...
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298. I think the cleaning up and the throwing
the trash away is good, but the...
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299. you know, the sleeping
arrangements and the plastic...
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300. and throwing the toe knife
out the window, that's...
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301. I'm not gonna put on airs
just because I got company.
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302. - So you think not eating cat food is putting on airs?
- You betcha!
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303. Look, I gotta fake a walk.
My head is swimming.
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304. That's fine. Just make sure you,
you know, check in. Oh, my.
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305. 'Cause I haven't heard from
Charlie, and it is getting late.
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306. - Yeah, right.
- Okay. Be safe.
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307. Okay, Dee! This little lady
is a calico cat.
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308. All calico cats are female.
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309. I'm gonna pop this little girl in
your wall here.
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310. She's gonna meet your little
fella, they're gonna bond...
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311. and then I'm gonna rip her out and
he's gonna come right afterwards.
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312. Are you sure?
Mm... hmm.
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313. You hear that'?
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314. Uh, I hear a squabble.
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315. Mm... hmm. It's all part of the dance, okay?
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316. They do a little sq-Come on. Wait.
Hold on. They do a little...
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317. Uh... oh. Crap.
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318. Thanks a lot, Charlie.
Mmm.
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319. Goddamn it. I knew
I should've gotten a bird.
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320. A bird? What are you gonna
do with a bird? Yeah!
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321. Hey, guys!
I swallowed apple seeds!
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322. So what?
Are they poisonous?
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323. Are you kidding me, dude?
They're extremely poisonous!
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324. They're absolutely not poisonous!
Should I make myself throw up?
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325. I would throw up now!
Oh, goddamn it!
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326. Apple seeds, man? That's no good.
Are you kidding me?
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327. Apple seeds... Yo! Hey.
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328. Oh, hi. Come on in.
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329. So, uh, how's life with Mac?
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330. I'm off him.
He's too pushy.
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331. Yeah, no shit.
You back on my team?
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332. If there's room for me.
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333. There is always room
for you, bud. Give it to me.
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334. Hey, guys!
I can't throw up.
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335. Should I stick a finger down my throat?
Yes! Oh, my God.
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336. You guys, we gotta...
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337. Oh, man. We gotta get Mac and
Dennis back together, okay?
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338. Because they are ruining
all of our lives.
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339. What's the situation?
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340. I got two cats stuck inside this wall.
Can't get 'em out.
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341. You want to bring in a third?
I'm thinking maybe four.
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342. - What? No! No! No! No more cats!
- A deep hole...
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343. Frank, get out of here! You're making
it worse! Whoa. Back off Frank.
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344. We work very well together, okay?
We're the gruesome twosome!
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345. Gruesome twosome!
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346. All right! Okay! I am gonna go and
get Mac and Dennis back together.
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347. I'm gonna get a bird, I'm gonna
get two cats out of my wall...
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348. and then I'm gonna
go back to being alone.
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349. Excuse me.
Can you part for one second?
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350. Sure.
Thank you. Thank you.
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351. What?
He swallowed some apple seeds.
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352. Sit down.
What...
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353. - What...
- Sit!
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354. What is he doing here?
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355. I was told I would be meeting
a woman with giant breasts.
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356. I was also told that I was to
meet a woman with giant breasts.
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357. Yes, geniuses. I set you up.
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358. Now, can you please make up, because
you're driving everyone crazy.
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359. Look, I'm sorry that
I called you codependent, okay?
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360. I think you have
a great friendship,
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361. and it's perfectly natural for two grown
men to need each other this badly.
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362. So make up, please.
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363. I guess I should...
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364. You son of a bitch!
Okay. All right. Okay.
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365. Oh, my God.
You know what? Fine.
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366. I don't care anymore.
Guess what?
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367. Neither one of you are ever going
into my apartment ever again, okay?
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368. So make up, don't make up,
kill each other... I don't care.
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369. I need to go get a bird.
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370. She looks like a bird.
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371. I swallowed
some apple seeds today.
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372. Did you make yourself throw up?
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373. I tried, but I couldn't.
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374. Smoke some cigarettes. The smoke will
suffocate the bacteria in your stomach.
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375. Okay. Thanks.
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376. How was Charlie's?
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377. The way they live,
bro, it's...
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378. it's like, um... it's
like... Preposterous.
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379. Yeah, dude! Preposterous! Yeah.
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380. I've been trying to come up
with that all day! Yeah.
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381. God, dude! This is why you and I
are such a good team. You know?
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382. Like, I'm a man of action, and you're
a man that comes up with good...
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383. Words?
Words, dude!
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384. Okay. Yeah.
Great.
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385. You really gotta work
on your vocabulary though, man.
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386. Well, you could help me. You
couldn't think of the word “words.”
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387. Is everything okay
here, gentlemen?
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388. Uh, yeah. Everything's fine.
Uh, not that it concerns you.
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389. Now might be a good time for you
to pay your bill and leave.
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390. Well, you're not making sense
'cause we didn't buy anything.
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391. Actually, I...
Oh.
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392. - I had a couple of rum and Cokes.
- You had six, actually.
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393. Six?
I had six of 'em.
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394. Did you? Yeah. I was nervous
about the big-breasted lady.
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395. I... I was nervous about her too.
You got nervous too?
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396. A beautiful woman. Dee said she
had giant boobs, you know?
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397. I'm really excited
about it.
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398. Will that be cash or charge?
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399. I also was assuming that the big-breasted
lady was gonna pay for the drinks,
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400. so I don't have any money.
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401. I've got some cash. I can... I
can get you out of this jam.
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402. Watch your eyes.
What?
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403. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
What the hell is going on?
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404. The gruesome twosome
in effect!
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405. Yeah. We're bashing
a bigger hole in your wall.
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406. - We're gonna stuff all the cats in at one time.
- Yeah, I see that.
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407. No more big holes in my wall, no more cats.
We're doing the bird thing.
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408. I got one. I tied a string around his
teeny, tiny little legs. I'm sending it in.
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409. You're gonna toss a bird in? I'm
gonna toss the bird in, Charlie.
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410. - Go ahead, Dee. Toss the bird in.
- Check this out. Watch this.
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411. Dinner time.
Go on, guy.
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412. Do your thing. All right.
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413. Go on. You got it.
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414. Whoa! Hold on.
Hold on. Hold on, guy.
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415. I got you. Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait!
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416. Come on.
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417. Well, congratulations, Dee.
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418. You have some very satisfied
cats in there, okay?
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419. Now will you step aside
and let the men do the work?
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420. Shut up! Shut up, okay? I got it from here,
all right? I'm bashing a hole in my wall.
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421. I'm going in myself. Give me this.
Get out of the way.
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422. All right. I'm not kidding.
Get the hell out of the way.
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423. Oh. I'm dead serious. I'm going in.
I've had enough.
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424. Go for it.
Bash away. Bash away.
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425. Whoa! Oh!
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426. - I'm gonna get you, you jerk!
- Yeah! Yeah, Deandra!
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427. Come on, kitty.
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428. Oh. Come on.
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429. Okay. I'll get you.
I'll get you.
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430. Wait... Oh.
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431. Wow! There are
a lot of cats back here!
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432. Yeah. We put a lot of cats in there.
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433. Oh, I'm getting a text.
Ooh. Who is it?
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434. Ah, the dynamic duo in effect.
Oh, they're back together!
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435. Yeah. All right.
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436. They're watching Predator.
You want to join?
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437. Absolutely, dude.
Great.
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438. Deandra, we're out of here.
Yeah.
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439. Hey, you guys?
We're going.
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440. Yeah'? You guys, I think
I'm stuck in the wall.
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441. That's why she needs a friend.
You gotta have a sidekick.
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442. That's all I'm saying.
That's all I'm saying.
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443. All right... Oops. Okay, I'm trying to back
out, but my shirt's caught on something.
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444. Guys?
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445. Guys?
Guys, come on!
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