1. Now keep in mind,Copy !req
2. we've been locked in
this parking garage stairwell
for, like, 20 minutes, dude.Copy !req
3. Okay, so then
we turn around,
and what do we see?Copy !req
4. A scary homeless dude.
And I'm, like, "Oh, shit!"
Yeah! And I'm like, uh...Copy !req
5. You know...
I'm like, "What do we...
What do we do?" You know?Copy !req
6. And then Mac, he's just like,
"Just chill." And I'm like,
"How do we chill, dude?"Copy !req
7. Yeah. And I'm all,
"Oh, shit!
He's gonna talk now!"Copy !req
8. Yeah. And I'm all like,
"How do you know
he's gonna talk, bro?"Copy !req
9. And I'm like, "Because
his mouth is opening."
And then he did talk.Copy !req
10. Yeah. And then he goes...
he goes, "I'll let you
out of the stairwell...Copy !req
11. 'cause I have the key, because
I'm the security guard instead."Copy !req
12. That's a cool story, huh?
Yeah, right?Copy !req
13. Okay, so, uh...Copy !req
14. Just so I'm clear on the story
that you just told.
Yeah.Copy !req
15. It was about you guys getting
locked in a garage stairwell
for 20 or so minutes.Copy !req
16. Yeah.
And then a security guard
came along...Copy !req
17. and the security guard
let you out.Copy !req
18. Well, yeah. But...Copy !req
19. I mean, it's how
you tell the story
that makes it good.Copy !req
20. How you told the story
was by far
the worst part of the story.Copy !req
21. You weren't even paying
attention to us, dude.Copy !req
22. All you were doing
was playing
on that stupid phone.Copy !req
23. Why are you
rubbing on the phone?
Let me rub on it.Copy !req
24. What are you doing?
No, no, no! Hey, hey, Frank!Copy !req
25. Get your greasy, fat,
sausage fingers
off my touch screen phone.Copy !req
26. This thing's new.
My fingers are not greasy.Copy !req
27. Uh, you have four sausage links
in your pocket right now.Copy !req
28. Yeah, but I don't touch
the sausage links.Copy !req
29. Why should I do that
when I can let my shirt
do the work? Watch.Copy !req
30. - Hmm. No touching, and warm.
- My God. You're an animal.Copy !req
31. Guess what, boners.
I just got a part in
an M. Night Shyamalan movie.Copy !req
32. - What?
- Yeah. I'm a featured actress,Copy !req
33. which means I'm gonna be
featured in a scene.Copy !req
34. What's an M. Night?
Wow. Gross.Copy !req
35. M. Night Shyamalan,
the Indian filmmaker
from Philly.Copy !req
36. Oh, my God.
This dude's a big deal, Frank.Copy !req
37. He's like a true-to-life
Slumdog Millionaire.
You know what I mean?Copy !req
38. He always puts some awesome
twists at the end of his movies
to trick the audience.Copy !req
39. Oh, yeah, yeah,
like in The Sixth Sense.Copy !req
40. You find out that the dude
in that hairpiece
the whole time...Copy !req
41. - That's Bruce Willis...
the whole movie.
- That's not the twist.Copy !req
42. That's not the twist
to that movie.
That wasn't?Copy !req
43. No.
I'll tell you
about it later.Copy !req
44. There were a lot
of twists in that movie.
Watch it again.Copy !req
45. You know what? You're gonna
need a very crafty agent...Copy !req
46. to squeeze everything
out of this slumdog.Copy !req
47. I volunteer.
And I decline.Copy !req
48. You are abusive
and you smell like warm meat...Copy !req
49. and I want you
to leave me alone 'cause
this is really important for me.Copy !req
50. This is important
for all of us, okay?Copy !req
51. This is an opportunity
for Charlie and I
to get M. Night our script.Copy !req
52. Right.
Since when do you and Charlie
have a script?Copy !req
53. Since you walked in here
and said you were in that movie.
We're great storytellers.Copy !req
54. No, goddamn it!
No, come on. Don't involve
yourselves in this.Copy !req
55. Dee, you involved us in this
the second you walked in
and told us about the movie.Copy !req
56. You really
shouldn't have done that.
Let's get to work!Copy !req
57. Oh, oh, hoo!Copy !req
58. Let's get some beer. Dude.
Yeah!Copy !req
59. Goddamn it.Copy !req
60. Whoa, whoa. Excuse me.
Can I help you?Copy !req
61. Oh, great. Nonfat, sugar free,
vanilla soy latte.
Three shots, no foam.Copy !req
62. Also, why don't you
let me in here so I can start
my vocal warm-ups?Copy !req
63. I'm sorry.
Who are you again?
Dee Reynolds, featured actress.Copy !req
64. Reynolds?
Yeah.Copy !req
65. And could you send
M. Night over also,Copy !req
66. because I have a couple
questions regarding
the detes of my character.Copy !req
67. Right. Says you're
a featured extra.Copy !req
68. Okay. Well, featured extra,
featured actress.
What's the difference?Copy !req
69. Well, the difference is...Copy !req
70. a featured actress usually
auditions for the role,
has lines, gets a trailer,Copy !req
71. whereas a featured extra
is a person whose head shot
we pull off a pile,Copy !req
72. has no lines and sits
in that tent over there
till we're ready for her.Copy !req
73. Okay?
Mmm. Okay.
Ah, ah, ah, ah...Copy !req
74. Where are we on
the coffee situation,Copy !req
75. because it's early
and I am hungover.Copy !req
76. Go sit in the tent. Now.
This tent?Copy !req
77. That one. Thank you.
Are you sure?Copy !req
78. This is hard.
Mmm.Copy !req
79. I mean, because I want the movie
to be big, you know,
and, like, a box office smash...Copy !req
80. and we want to put, like,
a lot of meat
in the seats, you know?Copy !req
81. Yeah. You know
what I'm thinking, dude?
You know what I'm thinking?Copy !req
82. Something that's happening
in Hollywood
that's, like, pretty cool.Copy !req
83. They take
an underrated actor, right,
whose career is in a slump,Copy !req
84. and then they make him
a star again.Copy !req
85. Oh, that is awesome, right?
Yeah, let's do that.
Yeah.Copy !req
86. Yeah. So, who is
the most underrated actor
of all time?Copy !req
87. - It's Dolph Lundgren.
- Correct. Why?Copy !req
88. Well, because of his spiky hair,
his ice-cold demeanor
and his big muscles.Copy !req
89. Absolutely. Okay. All right.
All right, so we have our actor.Copy !req
90. - Okay.
- That's great. Now we need
a really great role for him.Copy !req
91. Oh, you know
what I was thinking?
Scientists are cool.Copy !req
92. What if he's a scientist?Copy !req
93. Okay, okay. A muscular
scientist. I'm into that.
Right.Copy !req
94. As long as we don't cover up
that body with a lab coat, bro.
No, dude.Copy !req
95. He's wearing, like,
a hot mesh tank top.Copy !req
96. I like that. Now does he,
like, fight crime or something?Copy !req
97. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He fights crime, uh,
with his brain and his brawn.Copy !req
98. Should we be writing this down?
Let's get all this down.Copy !req
99. All right. This is good.
All right.Copy !req
100. Okay. Brains...
Brawn...Copy !req
101. Brawn... Muscles...Copy !req
102. Oh! Dude!
Yeah?Copy !req
103. I just got a Shyamalan twist
to put in this bad boy.Copy !req
104. Okay. Lay it on me.Copy !req
105. What if this scientist
runs around on all fours?Copy !req
106. Why would he run on all fours?Copy !req
107. It's a science experiment
with a dog
that goes absolutely haywire.Copy !req
108. Suddenly he wakes up
with the ability to run around
like a hound. You know?Copy !req
109. We're not making the lead
of our big-budget action movie
half dog!Copy !req
110. No, not half dog. He's all dog.Copy !req
111. Then why are we casting
Dolph Lundgren?Copy !req
112. That will be the twist.Copy !req
113. Dolph Lundgren will be
the voice of this dog.Copy !req
114. That's not a twist! That's
a completely different movie...Copy !req
115. about a talking-dog scientist
with the voice
of Dolph Lundgren!Copy !req
116. All right. You know what?
Check this out.Copy !req
117. What if it's a man with a few
dog-like qualities, like, uh,
heightened sense of smell...Copy !req
118. Jesus Christ, Charlie.
We're not... There's no...
or licking...Copy !req
119. Whoa, whoa. Wait a second.
A heightened sense of smell?Copy !req
120. What if he can smell crime?Copy !req
121. What if he smells crime?Copy !req
122. Dude, dude,
dude, dude, dude, dude!
Yeah?Copy !req
123. What if he can smell a crime
before it even happens?Copy !req
124. Holy shit, dude.
That's amazing. Smells crime
before it even happens!Copy !req
125. Yes, dude!Copy !req
126. We're getting somewhere.
What if his entire head
is just one big nose?Copy !req
127. Write that down!
I like that!Copy !req
128. He's one big nose
on Dolph Lundgren's body.Copy !req
129. Oh, shit!Copy !req
130. Ho!
What?Copy !req
131. No. No, no, no, no, no.
What are you two doing here?Copy !req
132. Well, since you've declined
my offer to be your agent,Copy !req
133. I've since taken on Dennis
as a client.Copy !req
134. Dennis has that
"I don't give a shit" attitude,Copy !req
135. which is perfect
for Hollywood,
right, Dennis?Copy !req
136. I-I...
I really don't care.
See? See?Copy !req
137. Why do you want to be
everybody's agent?Copy !req
138. Because that's where
the money is.
What do you do?Copy !req
139. You just put things together.
You sit back, you collect 10%...Copy !req
140. and you let the client
do all the work.Copy !req
141. Dennis doesn't give a shit.
Right?Copy !req
142. Stop talking to me.
Perfect.Copy !req
143. Okay. Well, you can't
just walk in here
and get a part in the movie.Copy !req
144. It's not how it works.Copy !req
145. Excuse me, sir?
Yes?Copy !req
146. Uh, could my client
have a part in your movie?
Sure. Here.Copy !req
147. Fill out this form.
You do it.Copy !req
148. I'll do it.
Unbelievable!Copy !req
149. Hold on a second.
Hey, hey. Assistant, hey.Copy !req
150. Hi. When is somebody
gonna tell me what my part is?Copy !req
151. What is your name again?
Dee Reynolds.
I'm your featured... extra.Copy !req
152. Right. You're a corpse.Copy !req
153. A corpse?
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
154. Like a... zombie roaming
through the streets looking
for brains kind of corpse?Copy !req
155. No. Like a dead corpse.
Just a dead corpse?Copy !req
156. Lifeless body
lying in the street.
Okay. All right.Copy !req
157. We'll call you
when we're ready for makeup.
I know, but...Copy !req
158. Hold on a second.
I have one more... Don't be...
Don't walk away from me.Copy !req
159. He just...
He'll be back.
Dee.Copy !req
160. Jesus, you come off
so desperate.Copy !req
161. Oh! Hollywood!
Hollywood!
Hollywood!Copy !req
162. No, no, no, no,
no, no, no! No!
Hey, guys.Copy !req
163. Get out of here! What is that?
What are you guys doing here?Copy !req
164. We in a Hollywood
situation!
Yeah.Copy !req
165. - Dennis just got
a part in the movie.
- Sweet, dude. Bump it.Copy !req
166. - Uh...
- Not gonna? All right.Copy !req
167. So, uh...
So where's the slumdog?
We're ready for him.Copy !req
168. - You finished
the script already?
- No, not exactly.Copy !req
169. Yeah, we, uh...
We didn't want to get
locked into anything,Copy !req
170. so we came up
with a pitch instead.Copy !req
171. It's more like a series of ideas
in no particular order,
you know?Copy !req
172. Yeah. We'll work out
the kinks later.Copy !req
173. So you hit a brick wall,
huh? Yeah.
Uh...Copy !req
174. Mmm. Dennis can help you
with that.Copy !req
175. He is good at coming up
with awesome words.
I wouldn't rule it out.Copy !req
176. You have to sign him on
as a producer. That okay?Copy !req
177. Dennis?
You want to be a producer?
Yeah.Copy !req
178. - Sorry.
- All right. We'll work out
the detes later, man.Copy !req
179. But maybe we gotta find,
like, a cooler place?Copy !req
180. Could we get a place
with some A.C. going?Copy !req
181. Let's have
a meeting and some A.C., man.
Leave it to me.Copy !req
182. All right.
You guys got 30 seconds.
Blow my mind.Copy !req
183. Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Oh, oh, oh.Copy !req
184. Guys, guys.
It's the prequel
to The Sixth Sense.Copy !req
185. The Fifth Sense.
The sense of smell.Copy !req
186. super smart scientist
in a mesh tank top...Copy !req
187. named Dr. Dolph Lundgren.Copy !req
188. No. That's...
That's not his name.Copy !req
189. He's played by Dolph Lundgren,
but that's not
the character's name.Copy !req
190. It could be
the character's name.
No, that's...Copy !req
191. A doctor
played by Dolph Lundgren
named Dolph Lundgren?Copy !req
192. Yeah!
That's confusing, dude.Copy !req
193. More confusing
than making up an entirely
new name for a person?Copy !req
194. That's gonna confuse people.
I'm taking over.
I'm taking over.Copy !req
195. - You are losing me.
- Okay. Okay. All right,
all right, all right.Copy !req
196. Imagine
a super smart, ripped scientist
played by Dolph Lundgren,Copy !req
197. who, after a terrible accident
in his lab, blows off his nose!Copy !req
198. After reconstructive surgery,
he soon realizes that he
smells something that stinks...Copy !req
199. Crime.Copy !req
200. This doctor smells crime?Copy !req
201. Possibly also
runs around like a hound.
No! He doesn't run...Copy !req
202. I'm just saying, don't
rule it out. It's possible...
I didn't agree to that.Copy !req
203. It's not in any of our notes.
He might run around like
a hound. What do you think?Copy !req
204. Okay, uh... All right.
First things first.Copy !req
205. You guys gotta type
some of this shit out and get
organized, for Christ's sakes.Copy !req
206. Get your shit together.
Come on. I mean,
that's ridiculous.Copy !req
207. Now in terms of the story,
uh, clearly it's brilliant.
It's amazing.Copy !req
208. Great idea.
Brilliant idea.
Thank you.Copy !req
209. But there is
one critical element
that's missing.Copy !req
210. It needs a sexual punch-up.Copy !req
211. We need to get a female
lead character in there...Copy !req
212. that Dolph can bang
throughout the whole movie.Copy !req
213. Yeah. I kind of
hate women though.
Oh.Copy !req
214. I feel like they just
slow action movies down too.
Right, dude.Copy !req
215. No, Mac.
See, you're dead wrong on that.
You're dead wrong.Copy !req
216. See, one of the problems
with Shyamalan's movies is that
they lack a certain eroticism.Copy !req
217. What if we were to bring, uh,Copy !req
218. an incredibly hot
but skeptical female
lab partner into the mix?Copy !req
219. And then that way, whenever
Dolph's not out busting heads
because he's smelled crime,Copy !req
220. he's back at the lab performing
outrageous sexual experiments...Copy !req
221. on her supple, young body.Copy !req
222. Now here's the twist.
And there is a twist.Copy !req
223. We show it.Copy !req
224. We show all of it.Copy !req
225. Because what's the one
major thing missing from all
action movies these days, guys?Copy !req
226. Full penetration.Copy !req
227. Guys, we're gonna show
full penetration,Copy !req
228. and we're gonna show
a lot of it.Copy !req
229. I mean, we're talking,
you know, graphic scenes
of Dolph Lundgren...Copy !req
230. really going to town on
this hot, young lab tech...Copy !req
231. From behind, 69, anal, vaginal,
cowgirl, reverse cowgirl...Copy !req
232. All the hits. All the big ones.
All the good ones.Copy !req
233. And then he smells crime again.
He's out busting heads.Copy !req
234. Then he's back to the lab
for some more full penetration.Copy !req
235. He smells crime.
Back to the lab,
full penetration.Copy !req
236. Crime, penetration, crime,
full penetration,
crime, penetration.Copy !req
237. And this goes on and on
and back and forth
for 90 or so minutes...Copy !req
238. until the movie
just sort of ends.Copy !req
239. That is brilliant!Copy !req
240. That is the most
brilliant movie
I've ever heard in my life.Copy !req
241. I think audiences are gonna be
very uncomfortable seeing
Dolph Lundgren's naked penis...Copy !req
242. going into this young girl
that you're talking about.Copy !req
243. Yeah. Just to be clear, though,
I don't care either way.Copy !req
244. Well, it was worth it,
you know...
30 seconds.Copy !req
245. Because we got the chick thing
out of it, so this is good.
Yeah, 30 seconds.Copy !req
246. Okay. All right. Well, maybe
we should type this stuff up,Copy !req
247. and then, Frank,
we'll be in touch.
Get it all together.Copy !req
248. We'll type it up.
We'll get
another thing going.Copy !req
249. And think about the
representation thing.
Definitely, dude. Definitely.Copy !req
250. Okay.
You don't have to rep him.
You could just rep me.Copy !req
251. All right.
Let me just get
all this stuff.Copy !req
252. We're not a writing team.
Okay. Are we good?Copy !req
253. Yeah. We're good.
Okay.Copy !req
254. Okay, we good?
Go ahead, Charlie.Copy !req
255. Okay. And we'll get...
We'll get the...Copy !req
256. Frank, I write better
without him. Seriously.
We'll talk about it.Copy !req
257. You know? Okay.Copy !req
258. Okay, cool.Copy !req
259. The Fifth Sense.
Here we go. Here we go.Copy !req
260. Write-Write...
Write a couple words.
The...Copy !req
261. Fifth... Dude, go faster.Copy !req
262. Hold on. Hold on.
I can't...
Go faster.Copy !req
263. Ah! I got it in my head.Copy !req
264. I just... I can't
type it fast enough.
You can't type it at all.Copy !req
265. If I could type more better,
then I think it would
come out faster.Copy !req
266. Maybe we should get
somebody else who can type.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
267. Look at her, dude.Copy !req
268. Might be good to have
an older lady in the mix, right,
sort of a workhorse secretary?Copy !req
269. Yeah... I don't care
for her demographic.
I find them judgmental.Copy !req
270. Mmm.
You know what I mean?Copy !req
271. Mm-hmm.
We need someone more our...Copy !req
272. Hello.Copy !req
273. Check out this one over here.
Does he look Indian to you?Copy !req
274. Oh, yes, dude.Copy !req
275. It would be great to have
an Indian in our corner, right?Copy !req
276. Oh, my God.
They're natural storytellers.
They're great with twists.Copy !req
277. - Uh... Psst! Psst!
- Dude!Copy !req
278. - Uh, where are you from?
- Baltimore.Copy !req
279. Right, right.
Baltimore, sure.Copy !req
280. - Where are your parents from?
- Jersey.Copy !req
281. Oh.
All right.
Getting nowhere here.Copy !req
282. Uh, you're so... Yeah, well, uh...Copy !req
283. Is anyone in your family
from India?
Mmm.Copy !req
284. - Pakistan.
- Pakistan. Now that's...Copy !req
285. Well, isn't...
A country somewhere, so...Copy !req
286. What's the difference
between that and...
Yeah, what is...Copy !req
287. Well, they're
right next to each other,
both countries.Copy !req
288. That's perfect.
Perfect.Copy !req
289. That's close enough, dude.
There's probably a lot of
going back and forth.Copy !req
290. Yeah, Pakistanis are probably
great with twists too, in their
own kind of way, you know?Copy !req
291. Great. How'd you like to be
in the movie business?Copy !req
292. Ma'am, how you doing
on makeup in there?
We're ready.Copy !req
293. Well, I'm okay,
but I feel like maybe they used
a little too much blood.Copy !req
294. Ma'am, we need to move here.
Let's go. Let's go.Copy !req
295. My gut feeling is
they went a little overboard.Copy !req
296. I mean, can you even tell
that it's me?
Yeah. It's perfect.Copy !req
297. - We just need to pair you up
with a husband for the shot.
- Husband?Copy !req
298. Yeah.
How about this guy
right here?Copy !req
299. That'll work.
That'll work.Copy !req
300. Whoa!
Great.Copy !req
301. Holy shit, Dee.
This is like...Copy !req
302. Wow. I could barely tell
that was you.Copy !req
303. - I mean, did they dip you
by your heels into the blood?
- That's ridiculous.Copy !req
304. That looks so stupid.
Uh...Copy !req
305. Frank had 'em go
a little more subtle with me,
so you could see my face.Copy !req
306. This? This is it?
Yeah.Copy !req
307. How the hell
did you manage that?Copy !req
308. No, I'm working my ass off.
Corpses, let's go now!Copy !req
309. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go on, go on, go on.Copy !req
310. Go on. Go on, will ya?
Whatever.Copy !req
311. Go ahead.Copy !req
312. Everybody focus.
Get down now.Copy !req
313. Very simple shot.
Lot to do today. Lot to do.Copy !req
314. I need all corpses lying down.
We are losing light, people.
Let's go.Copy !req
315. - I need you to turn over.
I need you face down.
- Face down?Copy !req
316. Yes.
No, 'cause then you won't
be able to see my face.Copy !req
317. Face down or in the pile
of bodies over there.
You pick it.Copy !req
318. - Face down.
- That's what I thought.
All right. Energy. Energy.Copy !req
319. But you're dead. Dead energy.
Dead energy. Here we go.Copy !req
320. I get it. I get it.
Okay, so he's on
the edge of this cliff...Copy !req
321. throwing his nose off
into the ocean because he's at
the happiest point of his life.Copy !req
322. No, no, no, no, no, no.
This is the scientist's
lowest point in the movie.Copy !req
323. Okay. Here. He throws his nose
off the cliff into the ocean...Copy !req
324. because he's...
he's rejecting his life
as a savior of all of mankind.Copy !req
325. Oh, I finally just got it.Copy !req
326. Oh, bro, that is...Copy !req
327. Bro, that is... That's nice.Copy !req
328. Deep shit, man.
That's awesome.Copy !req
329. That's awesome.
It's nice.Copy !req
330. - Where are you landing
on the full penetration?
- I'm into it. Big time.Copy !req
331. The Injun says yes...
Snaking around.Copy !req
332. So that's what
we're doing, I guess.
It's done. It's on.Copy !req
333. But, but, but... I-I...
I mean, the title?Copy !req
334. Oh, yeah. The title.
Title sucks.Copy !req
335. It's stupid, yeah.
Come on.Copy !req
336. Title sucks, right?
The Fifth Sense?Copy !req
337. I mean, stupid.
Well, yeah.Copy !req
338. - Who came up...
Who came up with that?
- Uh...Copy !req
339. Stupid.
Come on, man.Copy !req
340. So stupid.
You kidding?Copy !req
341. So why don't you type out
this whole movie real quick,Copy !req
342. and we'll go sell it
to Shyamalan.
Yeah.Copy !req
343. Oh, no. I don't write.
I'm a big picture kind of guy.Copy !req
344. You don't write.
You don't... write.Copy !req
345. Oh.Copy !req
346. - Hello?
- Dennis, hey.Copy !req
347. We hit a wall on the pitch.
Uh, what pitch
is that, man?Copy !req
348. - The pitch of the movie
that you're a producer on.
- Oh, yeah. That thing. Yeah.Copy !req
349. - What's up with that?
- We realized that
none of us are writers,Copy !req
350. so we decided
to play to our strengths
and make a poster.Copy !req
351. What tells a person about
a movie better than a picture
of what the movie is?Copy !req
352. What are your thoughts?Copy !req
353. What are my thoughts?
My thoughts are
that's brilliant.Copy !req
354. I think it's cool.
Cut!Copy !req
355. Huh?
What are you doing?Copy !req
356. - Oh, shit.
Were you guys rolling on that?
- Yes. We were rolling on that.Copy !req
357. Do not talk on your phone
during the shot.Copy !req
358. Okay? And you, ma'am?Copy !req
359. - Oh, me?
- Do not roll over
during the shot.Copy !req
360. Oh, I know, but you know what?
I thought about it.Copy !req
361. - I feel like it's better
if I'm right side up.
- Back over.Copy !req
362. "Back over!
Face down on the hot cement!"Copy !req
363. - Let's roll it again, people.
- "Yeah, again!"Copy !req
364. Brains! Brains!Copy !req
365. Cut! Cut, cut, cut,
cut, cut, cut!
What the hell are you doing?Copy !req
366. Huh?
You. Why are you saying
"brains"? What...Copy !req
367. Oh, 'cause it's a zombie movie.
It's, like, the Shyamalan twist.
I figured it out.Copy !req
368. This is not a zombie movie.
It's a movie
about Serbian genocide.Copy !req
369. Really? Huh.Copy !req
370. You! Sir! Yes, sir.
Your phone, it's ringing.Copy !req
371. Oh, yeah. I know.
But listen, man.Copy !req
372. If you don't let me answer it
and solve my boys' problems,
the phone's gonna ring.Copy !req
373. You can't have it both ways.
Can I talk or not?Copy !req
374. Yeah. I gotta agree with him
on that one, buddy.Copy !req
375. You're not being very clear.
Which is it?Copy !req
376. Turn your phone off!
You, miss! Don't improvise!
Let's go!Copy !req
377. Okay! You know what?
I have had about enough of you
dicking me around all day.Copy !req
378. Okay? Where is M. Night?
I have questions for him.
Yeah.Copy !req
379. Oh, no. Mr. Shyamalan
isn't directing this unit.
This is a simple pickup shot.Copy !req
380. Hold on a second.
Hold on a second.Copy !req
381. Where the hell is M. Night?
He's not here?Copy !req
382. No.
What the hell's
going on here?Copy !req
383. - Well, he won't get off
his phone, for starters.
- Give me your phone, Dennis.Copy !req
384. What?
Give me your phone.Copy !req
385. All right.
I heard that.Copy !req
386. No, I'll tell you
exactly what's going on.Copy !req
387. This guy's been treating me
like a dickwad all day long,Copy !req
388. - and I don't appreciate it.
- Ha, ha, ha!Copy !req
389. All right.
I'm gonna fix it, hon.
Thank you.Copy !req
390. Fire both of them
and I'll take their spot.
What?Copy !req
391. - Done. You're both fired.
- Hold on a second. What are you
talking about, Frank?Copy !req
392. Being an agent is crap.
I want to be an extra,
lay around doing dick.Copy !req
393. Great. Both of you,
get your shit out of the tent.
Get out of here.Copy !req
394. All right, fine. Hey,
give me my phone back, Frank.
What?Copy !req
395. Just to be clear, pal.
I don't care about any of this.Copy !req
396. I got my own thing
going on, so...Copy !req
397. I just gave you
the old Shyamalan twist.Copy !req
398. Oh, maybe you did,
maybe you didn't,
but I'll tell you what.Copy !req
399. I don't care either.Copy !req
400. All right. What do I do?Copy !req
401. Hey-oh!Copy !req
402. Hey, where his he, dude?
Where's Night?Copy !req
403. We got it!
Dude,
we totally got it.Copy !req
404. Brace yourself!
Brace yourself!Copy !req
405. Crime Stinks:
The Smell of Penetration.Copy !req
406. "He nose the truth."Copy !req
407. Oh, okay, yeah.
I get it.
Get it?Copy !req
408. Yeah, I-I get it.
Now, there is a lot going on
there with... with Dolph.Copy !req
409. We had to make some
artistic compromises. I think
we're good with the body.Copy !req
410. Yeah, but it's
a lovable character.
It's a lovable guy.Copy !req
411. You know, these are
good compromises.Copy !req
412. Bottom line,
M. Night's gonna love it.
So where is he?Copy !req
413. Night? Uh, well...
Oh, he's not here.Copy !req
414. Jesus Christ, Dee.
What happened to you?Copy !req
415. He brought in a "B" team
or something like that,Copy !req
416. covered me all in blood.Copy !req
417. That slumdog bastard
twisted all of us!Copy !req
418. Oh, shit, dude. We need him
to execute our script.
Yeah.Copy !req
419. Actually, you guys
don't need Shyamalan
to execute your script...Copy !req
420. because I've got the mother
of all Shyamalan twists
in my hand right here.Copy !req
421. You see, you think
I've just been playing
with my phone the whole time,Copy !req
422. but you're wrong.Copy !req
423. Been writing a little
movie script of my own,Copy !req
424. and I finished it
right before
you guys called.Copy !req
425. It's a horror movie
about two men trapped
in a garage stairwell...Copy !req
426. who get hunted down
by a psychotic,
homeless killer...Copy !req
427. who turns out to be
a security guard... instead.Copy !req
428. - That's our story, dude.
- Damn right, it's your story.Copy !req
429. And that's why you two guys are
gonna be attached as producers.Copy !req
430. Nice, baby!
Producers!Copy !req
431. All right!
I feel like that's...Copy !req
432. I'm a natural born producer.
I love showbiz, dude.
I love showbiz.Copy !req
433. Uh, can I be in it?
Uh, you know,
normally, Dee,Copy !req
434. I would take this
opportunity to insult you,Copy !req
435. but I'm gonna throw
an insane twist your way.Copy !req
436. You're gonna be
the lead of the film.
I am? Really?Copy !req
437. No, you're not.
Twisted again!
Boom! Try and keep up.Copy !req
438. Lot of twists.
Lot of twists in this thing,
so try and keep up.Copy !req
439. There's so many twists,
I can't even follow it.Copy !req
440. It's tough to follow.
I'm gonna pull up
the first scene...Copy !req
441. so you guys can get
a taste of what else
is going on in this film.Copy !req
442. Yeah. Lay us on it.
It's really good.Copy !req
443. Uh... For some reason
the phone is frozen...
Lay it on us.Copy !req
444. And I'm having a little trouble
pulling up the scene...Copy !req
445. And why is there grease
all over...Copy !req
446. Is this Frank's g...
Goddamn sausage grease?Copy !req
447. Frank, you froze my phone with
your sausage greasy fingers!Copy !req
448. Frank, you son of a bitch!Copy !req
449. Cut! Cut!
For the love of Christ!Copy !req
450. ENGLISH - US - LINE 21Copy !req