1. You better have
a good reason for getting us
out of bed this early, jerk.Copy !req
2. I got a goddamn great reason
for getting you out of bed.
This bar is hemorrhaging money.Copy !req
3. You gotta spend money
to make money.
Economics 101, dude.Copy !req
4. You're bleeding us to death,
especially with that
company credit card you got.Copy !req
5. That is for business expenses,
Frank. Everything on there
is a business expense.Copy !req
6. Who spent $500
for laser hair removal?Copy !req
7. Right over here, slick.
Don't wanna have
hair down there.Copy !req
8. You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.Copy !req
9. Who spent $5,000
for a samurai sword?Copy !req
10. Your head of security.
Yeah. Just wait till he saves
your life one day with it.Copy !req
11. $6,000 on a camcorder.Copy !req
12. Well, I've decided
what I'm gonna do...Copy !req
13. is I'm going to take all those
hilarious characters...Copy !req
14. that I've been creating
over the past several years—Copy !req
15. I'm gonna put 'em on tape.
I'm gonna put 'em on YouTube.Copy !req
16. That way I can get discovered by
a casting director or producer,Copy !req
17. get some kind of
a TV development deal.Copy !req
18. Yeah, right. So the point is,
Frank, is that these
are all business expenses.Copy !req
19. See?
I mean, some are definitely
more realistic than others.Copy !req
20. Yeah, not that one.
No, not at all.Copy !req
21. But nonetheless, it was,
I believe, bought as
a business expense, so—Copy !req
22. They're not business expenses.
What I bought
is a business expense.Copy !req
23. What I bought is something
that's gonna save our asses.Copy !req
24. Okay. Yeah. All right.
All right. What'd you get?Copy !req
25. I bought a billboard.Copy !req
26. Okay, so I'm thinking
we write on the billboard
in nice big letters,Copy !req
27. "We have two for one
drink specials on Thursdays."Copy !req
28. And on the bottom, you got
a hilarious picture of Greenman
kicking someone in the nuts.Copy !req
29. And people go,
"Hey, what's this wacky place?
Where can I have those drinks?"Copy !req
30. It is absolutely astonishing
how bad your ideas are.
How is that a bad idea?Copy !req
31. Go sit down.
The adults are working.
Really?Copy !req
32. Okay.
When we need a child,
we'll call you.Copy !req
33. - Woo-hoo!
- Now, Dennis,
you and I on the same team—Copy !req
34. hot chick up on the billboard,
sex sells, boom.Copy !req
35. Oh, absolutely.
It's Advertising 101.Copy !req
36. Long legs, taut breasts
and tight poopers.Copy !req
37. I'm just gonna jump in here
real quick and point out...Copy !req
38. that this is the point
in the conversation...Copy !req
39. where I would volunteer
to be the girl on the billboard,Copy !req
40. and then you guys would talk
about how ugly you think I am...Copy !req
41. - and compare me
to some sort of giant bird.
- You look so much like a bird.Copy !req
42. Dennis, I was
thinking fish recently.
Really?Copy !req
43. Yeah. Her eyes are
so far apart, they're, like,
on the sides of her head.Copy !req
44. Okay. Okay.
But I don't wanna be
on your billboard.Copy !req
45. I'm not gonna ask to be
because you wouldn't
let me be on it anyway.Copy !req
46. That's sensible
of you not to ask.
God, no.Copy !req
47. For the love of God,
there's no way you would be
up on that billboard.Copy !req
48. - That is never gonna happen!
- Let me get the point out!Copy !req
49. The point is—
Anything's better than you.Copy !req
50. I don't wanna be
on your billboard,
and I'll tell you why.Copy !req
51. I'm gonna take
one of my characters,Copy !req
52. and I'm gonna launch
a viral video
and promote Paddy's myself.Copy !req
53. A viral video?
There's about a billion
of those on YouTube.Copy !req
54. - Who gives a shit, Dee?
- Oh, you think anybody gives
a shit about a billboard?Copy !req
55. Uh, wake up, donkeys.Copy !req
56. The Internet is where it's at,
and I'm going to be
an Internet sensation.Copy !req
57. You know, you're totally right.
And if you don't mind,
I'm gonna come with you.Copy !req
58. Maybe I can throw Greenman
into a couple of your videos,
you know, and work it out.Copy !req
59. That'll get a lot
of hits, I think.
You can help me out, Charlie,Copy !req
60. but we're not gonna put
Greenman into anything.
Well, we'll see about that.Copy !req
61. We won't see about that.
Well, we will.Copy !req
62. Mm-mmm.
All right.
Uh, later, dudes.Copy !req
63. S.U. in your A's,
don't wear a "C"
and "J" all over your B's.Copy !req
64. Why would he not wear a "C"?Copy !req
65. I don't even know
what he's talking about
half the time, bro.Copy !req
66. Hey, Frank.
Glad you're here, bro.Copy !req
67. We're talkin' billboard ideas.
Yeah.Copy !req
68. Don't waste your time.
I know what the billboard's
gonna look like already.Copy !req
69. Two gorgeous girls up there,
giant cans,Copy !req
70. me in the middle
with my thumbs up.Copy !req
71. - Yeah!
- Well, that's just simply
not gonna happen.Copy !req
72. Uh, actually,
maybe Frank has a point, dude.Copy !req
73. Maybe we should
put a dude up there.
Certainly not him.Copy !req
74. But if we put
some hot beefcake up there,
maybe it'll attract more chicks.Copy !req
75. Yeah, that's a good point.
Okay, I like that.Copy !req
76. You know what?
Let's slap my picture up there.Copy !req
77. It's about time
I got my modeling career
off the ground anyway.Copy !req
78. Don't flatter yourself.
You're not gonna
be up there...Copy !req
79. because I am gonna be
the face of Paddy's Bar.Copy !req
80. That's ridiculous, Frank.
You're, um,Copy !req
81. ugly.Copy !req
82. - What?
- Ugly.Copy !req
83. - I'm ugly?
- Yeah.Copy !req
84. With that anteater nose,
you're telling me I'm ugly?Copy !req
85. My nose was chiseled
by the gods themselves,
Frank.Copy !req
86. My body was sculpted
to the proportions
of Michelangelo's David.Copy !req
87. You, on the other hand—
well, you're a pit of despair.Copy !req
88. Frank, you disgust me.Copy !req
89. You disgust everyone.Copy !req
90. And you will never, ever,
be on that billboard.Copy !req
91. Good morning, Philadelphia.Copy !req
92. I'm Crazy Paddy,
and I'm coming to you
from Paddy's Pub,Copy !req
93. telling you to come on down,
where we're
slashing prices so low,Copy !req
94. you won't need a pot of gold
to get sloppy.Copy !req
95. So come on down to Paddy's.
It's insane!Copy !req
96. What is that?
Did you like that?Copy !req
97. No. That's not what
YouTube videos are like.
Oh, that's a great character.Copy !req
98. No, that's a bad commercial
you'd see on the
cable network or something.Copy !req
99. Maybe you didn't get it.
I'm crazy 'cause I'm pricing
the beer too low.Copy !req
100. Mmm, I think I got it.
The beer's too low for what
average beer prices should be.Copy !req
101. You know what? Let's just do it
again. Maybe throw in some more
jokes or something. You know?Copy !req
102. Make it a little funnier.
Make it funnier.
You're absolutely right.Copy !req
103. You can make it funny.
You're a funny girl.Copy !req
104. Good morning, Philadelphia.
I'm Crazy Pad—Copy !req
105. Oh!Copy !req
106. Oh, my God.Copy !req
107. Why?
Now that was funny!
Dee, that's awesome.Copy !req
108. Why would you do that?
That's what
YouTube video is.Copy !req
109. Are you insane?
You ever see the little girl
who's mashing the grapes...Copy !req
110. and then slips
and she's, like—
Why would you do that, Charlie?Copy !req
111. That's what
people wanna see!
Oh, my God!Copy !req
112. People getting injured
or seriously hurt—
That's funny!Copy !req
113. Okay?
Let's just do this.
This is—Copy !req
114. Trust me. This is
what gets hits on YouTube.Copy !req
115. All right. Are you ready?
Yeah. I was ready
from the—Copy !req
116. Stop talking!Copy !req
117. I'm Crazy Paddy—
No. Okay.Copy !req
118. Okay.
I'm Crazy Paddy—Copy !req
119. What are you doing?Copy !req
120. You're flinching
every time now.
Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
121. I can't concentrate
when I'm about to get
blasted in the face with a ball!Copy !req
122. I'll blast you all over
if you flinch again.Copy !req
123. Don't—
Let's just do this.Copy !req
124. Let's just do this.
Action!
These—Copy !req
125. Goddamn!
Oh! Yeah!Copy !req
126. Goddamn!
That was funny.Copy !req
127. I don't like it, Charlie!
I don't think it's funny—Copy !req
128. Yeah!
It's too much.Copy !req
129. It's too much.
It just hurts too bad.Copy !req
130. Bro, can you believe
how many hot chicks showed up...Copy !req
131. for a casting call
for a billboard?Copy !req
132. How have we not
done this before?
Yeah. Yeah, man.Copy !req
133. Plus, think about it.
Dennis Reynolds,
40 feet tall and shirtless.Copy !req
134. Oh! It's gonna be
so perfect.Copy !req
135. Let's go. Just take
your places over there.Copy !req
136. - Frank, what are you doing?
- We're lookin'
for models, right?Copy !req
137. Yeah.
I went on a stud hunt.
I came back with beefcakes.Copy !req
138. What are you talkin' about,
Frank? I'm the male model.Copy !req
139. Uh, Rex. Rex.
Here you go.Copy !req
140. What's Rex for?
We don't need Rex.Copy !req
141. Take your shirt off.
Come on. You don't need
to take your shirt off.Copy !req
142. - Okay. Well, if you're
looking for that.Copy !req
143. Now that—
- That's what you want.Copy !req
144. That is what
you call stallion.
That is a stallion.Copy !req
145. I didn't know you guys
were lookin' for a stallion.
I'm a stallion—Copy !req
146. Ooh! Dennis.
Uh—Copy !req
147. You think Frank's
got a point here?Copy !req
148. I don't think he has a point.
I'm a stallion.Copy !req
149. Uh—Copy !req
150. All right. This is messy.
Um, look, buddy.Copy !req
151. 2003 Dennis—
Okay, he was Grade "A"
prime beefcake.Copy !req
152. No one is disputing that.
He was a stallion.Copy !req
153. But 2008 Dennis is in decline.Copy !req
154. Take a look at Rex here.
That is a body
that just won't quit.Copy !req
155. I bet if you pop those pants
off, you're gonna find a bird
that just won't quit either,Copy !req
156. and I think that'll
come in handy in this situation.Copy !req
157. I think the problem here
is that your body quit.
Your bird quit.Copy !req
158. And unfortunately,
it's no longer legit.Copy !req
159. What the hell are you
talking about? My bird?Copy !req
160. All right. Let's get back to—
to business here.Copy !req
161. Attention, ladies! I'm gonna
need all the "A" cups to please
head for the back door.Copy !req
162. Charlie, are you ready
with the camera?Copy !req
163. Yeah.
I'm trying to set it up.
It takes a second, Dee.Copy !req
164. Yeah.
All right. Who the hell is this
character that you're doing?Copy !req
165. Oh, this one?
It's a really great one.
Her name's Martina Martinez,Copy !req
166. and she is a streetwise
Puerto Rican girl...Copy !req
167. - who's always quick
with a sassy comeback.
- Are you serious?Copy !req
168. Yes. It's awesome. Let's
go over what we're doing again.
I go up. I talk.Copy !req
169. You come in with the volleyball,
you hit him in the face
and you get out of there.Copy !req
170. Okay. I'm gonna hit
a random person in the face
with a volleyball.Copy !req
171. But don't come in too early,
'cause I got some material
I wanna do,Copy !req
172. and I don't want you
to cut me off.Copy !req
173. Because Saturday Night Live
is gonna really—
I think they're gonna love—Copy !req
174. Do you really think that?
Charlie. Charlie.
Point it that way.Copy !req
175. Go, go, go. Go.Copy !req
176. You know, I'm horrified
that he's here—Copy !req
177. Um, excuse me.
Can I talk to youse?Copy !req
178. What?Copy !req
179. Youse a bunch
of white boys, right?
Can I ax you a question?Copy !req
180. When you be in the clubs
and you be dancin',
why you look so stupid?Copy !req
181. I'm just playin'.Copy !req
182. So, um, youse a big man, right,
but you got such tiny boots on.Copy !req
183. That means you got
a small pecker. I'm sorry!Copy !req
184. I'm just playin'.
I'm Martina Martinez.Copy !req
185. Oh!
Greenman!Copy !req
186. Oh.Copy !req
187. Okay, attention!
Ladies, gentlemen,
hotties and beefcakes.Copy !req
188. You were brought here because
you are the most beautiful
people in all of Philadelphia,Copy !req
189. and as such,
the honor has been bestowed
upon all of you...Copy !req
190. to compete in Paddy's
First Next Top
Billboard Model contest.Copy !req
191. - Uh, what's the pay?
- What?Copy !req
192. - What is the pay?
- The pay, sir,Copy !req
193. is getting your face
40 feet up on a billboard!Copy !req
194. - So there's no pay then?
- I just told you
what the pay is.Copy !req
195. He told you
what the goddamn pay was.
The billboard thing.Copy !req
196. - Were you not listening?
- Well, I'm outta here.Copy !req
197. Fine. Fine!
You leave!
You crybaby.Copy !req
198. We don't need you people.
Everybody else!Copy !req
199. Let's take their
lack of dedication
as a lesson, shall we?Copy !req
200. Competitions like this
aren't about money.
They're about fame.Copy !req
201. They are about putting yourself
on display to the world
and saying, "I'm good enough...Copy !req
202. because I beat
everyone else."Copy !req
203. That's right.
"And I got myself up
on a billboard."Copy !req
204. Not so fast!Copy !req
205. - The hell are you doin' here?
- I want in the competition.Copy !req
206. Approach.Copy !req
207. Dennis, I told you.
You don't have the right stuff.Copy !req
208. I got the right stuff, Frank.
I can win this thing.
I know it!Copy !req
209. All right.
Judges' sidebar.Copy !req
210. Do you wanna let him in?
Bro, he's been talking about
this modeling thing for years.Copy !req
211. If only to shut him up.
Hmm.Copy !req
212. - You're in.
- Oh, yeah! Yes! Huh?Copy !req
213. Okay. The first competition
is the underwear competition.Copy !req
214. Boom!Copy !req
215. - How's your face, Dee?
- How do you think
it is, Charlie?Copy !req
216. You kept hitting me over
and over in the same spot
with a volleyball.Copy !req
217. And I was explicitly clear—
no more Greenman.
Come on!Copy !req
218. Greenman's
what makes this thing work.Copy !req
219. Greenman is not
what makes it work, Charlie.Copy !req
220. My characters
are what make it work.Copy !req
221. No more Greenman.
We're not doing it anymore.Copy !req
222. All right. Geez, relax.Copy !req
223. You're nothing
without Greenman.Copy !req
224. Oh, shit.
Dee, you know what?Copy !req
225. This is— This is all,
like, a bad frame and stuff.Copy !req
226. This isn't gonna work.
We gotta do it again.Copy !req
227. What?
I meant the camera was too low.
We gotta—Copy !req
228. Hey, diary. It's me.Copy !req
229. It's Thursday, September 30,
about midnight.Copy !req
230. Uh, I'm alone,
of course, again,Copy !req
231. and I just had
a little bit too much ice cream.Copy !req
232. Interesting.Copy !req
233. Hey, Frank. Can I talk
to you for a second?
What's up?Copy !req
234. Bro, originally my plan
was to just bang
a bunch of models, right?Copy !req
235. Oh, yeah.
Okay. But after talking
to a few of them,Copy !req
236. I feel like I could find
my true love here.Copy !req
237. You think you could fall in love
with one of these broads?
Yeah, dude!Copy !req
238. Look, eventually
I gotta settle down, right?
Spread my seed.Copy !req
239. Haven't you ever seen
The Bachelor? Look, you get
a whole bunch of them together,Copy !req
240. you make them compete over you—
bing, bang, boom, soul mate.Copy !req
241. Woo-hoo.
That sounds good.Copy !req
242. Okay. You take
the girls—
Uh-huh.Copy !req
243. and I'll take Dennis
and the dudes.
Really?Copy !req
244. Yeah!
You'll just give me
the girls?Copy !req
245. Absolutely.
I can have
my own competition.Copy !req
246. Awesome.
Frank, I don't understand it,
but I don't care.Copy !req
247. All right. Thanks, bud.
All right.Copy !req
248. See ya.
All right.Copy !req
249. Whatever.
Thank you.
Okay.Copy !req
250. All right.
Where are all my male models?Copy !req
251. Come forward. Come forward.Copy !req
252. Okay. As you know,
in the world of modeling,Copy !req
253. you're sometimes asked
to model a theme.Copy !req
254. Today's theme is "barnyard."Copy !req
255. Okay. Everybody come on
the stage that I have prepared
to give you a little ambience.Copy !req
256. Okay. Here is a baby pool
that you are all gonna get into.Copy !req
257. And, uh, there's a lot of hay,
and there's
some chickens and ducks.Copy !req
258. What the hell, bro?
Is that supposed to be dirt?
It smells like shit.Copy !req
259. It is shit.
This is a barnyard.Copy !req
260. No one is going to
step in shit, all right?Copy !req
261. Uh— Rex, are you kidding me?
Seriously? You're just gonna
step right in it?Copy !req
262. I wanna win, bro.
Billboard.Copy !req
263. Dee, what is this getup?
What are you doing now?
What is that?Copy !req
264. Oh, okay.
This is Taiwan Tammy.Copy !req
265. She on runway
and do a drag queen and nails.
Oh, thank you.Copy !req
266. Are you kidding me?
That is extremely racist!
Isn't it awesome?Copy !req
267. I'm so excited about this one.
All right. Well,
good luck to you on that.Copy !req
268. Why are your hands
in your pockets?Copy !req
269. They're itchy.
Your hands are itchy?Copy !req
270. My hands are a little itchy.
Your hands are in your pockets
'cause they're itchy?Copy !req
271. Goddamn it! I knew it!
Charlie, what are you doing?Copy !req
272. I said no Greenman!
Greenman sells
this whole thing!Copy !req
273. It doesn't make any sense!
Goddamn it, Charlie!Copy !req
274. Hey. I know you.
What?Copy !req
275. Yeah. You that, uh—
that girl.
Uh, PatheticGirl43.Copy !req
276. PatheticGirl?
I almost didn't
recognize you in that getup.Copy !req
277. - But I'd recognize
that whiny voice anywhere.
- Yeah!Copy !req
278. Hey, you mind if
we get a picture together?Copy !req
279. Yeah, let's get a picture!
I mean, my friends—Copy !req
280. I can't believe
you recognized us!
They ain't gonna believe this.Copy !req
281. You saw
the YouTube thing, right?
Charlie, what is going on?Copy !req
282. I'll show you later.Copy !req
283. In other news,
it seems like I have a rash...Copy !req
284. in a place where
a sexually active person
should have a rash.Copy !req
285. Greenman!Copy !req
286. Oh, my God!
You put that on YouTube?
Oh, my God. I totally did.Copy !req
287. Charlie, why would you
do that to me?Copy !req
288. Because that's great stuff.
That is
my private video diary!Copy !req
289. 80,000 hits.
80,000?Copy !req
290. 80,000 hits, Dee.
That's huge!
That's a big number.Copy !req
291. Yeah. Come on.
Don't take this to heart.Copy !req
292. Don't take this
the wrong way.Copy !req
293. Hey, look. You got recognized
on the street today.
That happened.Copy !req
294. So did I.
Well, it was me first.Copy !req
295. The point is that's
the first step
to becoming hugely famous—Copy !req
296. - Pretty awesome.
- is people noticing you
on the Internet.Copy !req
297. 80,000 hits.
That's a lot of hits, Charlie.Copy !req
298. You know what it's like
for Chocolate Rain when
he goes around in the world?Copy !req
299. He gets free food.
He gets free everything,
'cause people love that guy.Copy !req
300. Charlie, fire up
that video camera.Copy !req
301. There you go.Copy !req
302. Okay, Anya. So they are,
in fact, double D's.Copy !req
303. That's great news.Copy !req
304. Well, you got a great look—
no denying that.Copy !req
305. Let me ask you
a question, though.Copy !req
306. Why should I pick you
over the other girls?Copy !req
307. I'm willing to do anything
in order to win.Copy !req
308. - You're talking about
banging me, right?
- Maybe.Copy !req
309. Well, if you say yes—
- Yes.Copy !req
310. Okay, great.
You said yes.Copy !req
311. Okay. Anya said yes.
That's written down now.Copy !req
312. Yes.
That's like a contract.
All right. Perfect.Copy !req
313. You can't go back on it.
All right. Well,
thank you for coming in.Copy !req
314. Thank you.
Nice talking to you.Copy !req
315. You too.
You got a great shot.Copy !req
316. You got a great ass.
All right.Copy !req
317. Wow.Copy !req
318. - Hi.
- Hi! Rachelle!Copy !req
319. Yes.
Rachelle,
Rachelle, Rachelle.Copy !req
320. Thank you for coming in.
I'm having all the girls come in
just to make sure we vibe.Copy !req
321. - Of course.
- What's the difference between
you and the rest of the girls?Copy !req
322. Well, my heart
is in this 100%,Copy !req
323. and for more
than just a billboard.Copy !req
324. For more than a billboard?
That's interesting.Copy !req
325. - I haven't heard that yet.
- No?Copy !req
326. I feel like there's vibing
happening right now.Copy !req
327. - This is the vibing
I'm talking about.
- Yeah.Copy !req
328. - I feel like we're
completing each other's—
- Sentences.Copy !req
329. Yeah!
I was gonna say "sentences"!Copy !req
330. I know.
Oh, my God.Copy !req
331. - How did you read my—
- Mind.Copy !req
332. I was gonna say "head."
Oh.Copy !req
333. But that's okay.
That's all right.Copy !req
334. We got—
We're one for two.Copy !req
335. Okay.
That's okay.
Fifty percent.Copy !req
336. - You and I are gonna
get along very well.Copy !req
337. Rex, that is a sexy jaguar.Copy !req
338. I mean,
that jaguar is fierce!Copy !req
339. I've-I've— I've never
been turned on
by a jaguar before.Copy !req
340. This has totally changed
my mind toward jaguars.Copy !req
341. Dennis, your mule is shit.
I am no longer
turned on by mules.Copy !req
342. You gave Rex "jaguar"!
There aren't jaguars in barns!Copy !req
343. Plus, what the hell am I
supposed to do with a mule?
You can't make a mule sexy.Copy !req
344. Dennis, you've been out-modeled.Copy !req
345. I have not been out-modeled.
I haven't even
begun to work this hot body.Copy !req
346. What's the next event?Copy !req
347. The clothes-off pose-off.Copy !req
348. Oh!
Jesus Christ, Frank!Copy !req
349. That burns! What—
What are you doing?Copy !req
350. Anything can happen
on a runway, Dennis.Copy !req
351. Nobody's gonna throw detergent
in my eyeballs
on a runway, Frank!Copy !req
352. And you think that was bad,
check out this tasty delight.Copy !req
353. You gotta eat cockroaches next.Copy !req
354. You know, man, screw this.
I'm outta here.Copy !req
355. Finished.Copy !req
356. Jesus, Rex.
I didn't tell you
to start eating yet.Copy !req
357. That doesn't disqualify me,
does it?Copy !req
358. - No, you're good.Copy !req
359. Oh, hey, diary. Listen.
Today was the worst day ever.Copy !req
360. I had an audition
and I didn't get the part,Copy !req
361. which is really,
really strange for me.Copy !req
362. But then
the casting director called
and they were, like,Copy !req
363. "We thought
you were just better
for a different part."Copy !req
364. And I was, like,
"That makes more sense."Copy !req
365. Cut, cut!
What are you doing?
That was great.Copy !req
366. What are you doing?
Why don't you do it like
you did the first time?Copy !req
367. - This is just weird.
- This is what I do. I talk
into the camera about my life.Copy !req
368. You never do this. You have
all these colors on your face.
Your mouth is going like this—Copy !req
369. Don't bust my balls.
This is great exposure for me.
This is stupid.Copy !req
370. Hey, Charlie.
You are here! Dee!Copy !req
371. What the hell's going on?
She looks like a clown.
I don't know.Copy !req
372. Get outta here!
Like a porn star
or something.Copy !req
373. He almost didn't
recognize you!
You guys shooting a porn?Copy !req
374. - No, we're not—
- Never mind. I don't care.Copy !req
375. Listen, we need to get that
company credit card from Frank.
Yeah? What's up?Copy !req
376. Man, dude,
I realized something.Copy !req
377. I don't need validation anymore.
How great is that?Copy !req
378. But what I do need is
the company credit card...Copy !req
379. so that I can
buy myself a billboard,
get myself out there...Copy !req
380. and show the entire world
that Dennis Reynolds...Copy !req
381. still has a rocking body
that deserves to be worshipped.Copy !req
382. Get out of here!
We're in the middle
of something!Copy !req
383. - No, you get out of here!
- This is my place!Copy !req
384. I need that billboard!
Hang on a second.Copy !req
385. Okay, look. Guys, guys.Copy !req
386. There's a way to make you guys
both happy, all right?Copy !req
387. I got a pretty good plan
how to do this.Copy !req
388. Hey, everybody.
PatheticGirl43 here,
coming to you live...Copy !req
389. with Philadelphia's
next top model, Dennis Reynolds.Copy !req
390. Dennis, tell us what it's like
to be so handsome.Copy !req
391. Well, I like to think I've been
this handsome since birth,
possibly even earlier—Copy !req
392. Oh!
Greenman!Copy !req
393. This shamrock will be awarded
to the winner...Copy !req
394. as a symbol of my vote
and love for this competition.Copy !req
395. Rachelle, you taught me
about love,Copy !req
396. respect, inner beauty.Copy !req
397. Dominique, you banged me,
like, right away.Copy !req
398. I hardly had to do anything.Copy !req
399. Tabitha, you did the same.Copy !req
400. But most importantly,
you banged each other.Copy !req
401. And you let me watch.Copy !req
402. Awesome.Copy !req
403. But when I was making
this decision,Copy !req
404. I thought long and hard,
and I thought,
"I have to go with my heart."Copy !req
405. "I have to go with my heart."Copy !req
406. So I'm gonna do something
a little unorthodox here.Copy !req
407. A top o' the morning...
to both of you!Copy !req
408. What?Copy !req
409. I had two of them!
I had another one here.Copy !req
410. I tricked you.
I got both of you guys.Copy !req
411. But you just said
that I taught you
about inner beauty and respect.Copy !req
412. Yeah, but this whole thing's
about banging,
and you didn't bang me. So—Copy !req
413. You're a dick!
I know!Copy !req
414. And that's what I learned.Copy !req
415. Hey-o! Check it out.
Check it out!Copy !req
416. What is it?
I'll tell you
what it is, bitch.Copy !req
417. It's a YouTube video that me,
Dee and Charlie just made.Copy !req
418. It's gonna get a million hits.
So guess what, pal?Copy !req
419. Don't need your billboard.
I'm going viral.Copy !req
420. I'm glad you don't need it,
because you can't have it
because it's already up.Copy !req
421. What?
Yeah. I put it up right
after you called me ugly.Copy !req
422. There's no billboard?Copy !req
423. Oh, yeah.
Sorry about that, Rex.
My bad.Copy !req
424. So, wait. If you already
put the billboard up,
wh-what did you put on it?Copy !req